What Does a Godly Friendship Actually Look Like?

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♪ Enter as your King ♪ ♪ Light of the world everlasting ♪ ♪ Jesus you are Lord of all ♪ ♪ So let our praise build an altar ♪ ♪ Christ forever and forever ♪ ♪ Jesus your name be the banner over us ♪ Pray in mercy, come on. ♪ Great in mercy, great in power ♪ ♪ Christ forever and forever ♪ ♪ Jesus your name be the banner over us ♪ ♪ Great in mercy, great in power ♪ ♪ Yes be the banner over us ♪ There's only one. There's only one. ♪ Who is worthy of it ♪ ♪ Who is our King who will call our name ♪ ♪ Light of the world everlasting ♪ ♪ Jesus you are Lord of all ♪ ♪ Jesus you are Lord of all ♪ Church, family, it is so good to worship with you this morning. You know one of the beautiful things about singing our songs together is it reminds us who God is and reminds us about what we believe. And one of the things we love to do here at Church on the Move is recite the Apostles' Creed together. And this is something that's been handed down through generations of believers

for hundreds of generations. And we're gonna put it up on the screen here. It's gonna remind us who God is and what we believe. So let's say this out loud together. Are you ready? I believe in God, the Father Almighty, the Creator of heaven and earth. I believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord. He was conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit and born of the Virgin Mary. He suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and was buried. He descended to the dead, and on the third day he rose again. He ascended to heaven and is seated at the right hand of the Father. He will come again to judge the living and the dead. I believe in the Holy Spirit, the Holy Universal Church, the communion of the saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and the life everlasting. We all say together, amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen.

Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. You are love. You bring light to the darkness. Thank you, you restore every heart that is broken. Amen. And great are you Lord. Sing that again today. You give light. You are love. You bring light to the darkness. You give hope. You restore every heart that is broken. Amen. And great are you Lord. Let's sing it together today. It's your breath in our lungs. So we pour out our praise. Pour out our praise. It's your breath in our lungs.

So we pour out our praise to you only. Amen. We adore you Lord. You give light. ♪ You are love and You bring light to the darkness ♪ ♪ You give hope and You restore every heart that is broken ♪ ♪ There's no claim on You, Lord ♪ ♪ You are love and it's Your blood in our lungs ♪ ♪ So we pour out our praise, pour out our praise ♪ ♪ It's Your blood in our lungs ♪ ♪ So we pour out our praise to You only ♪ ♪ It's Your blood in our lungs ♪ ♪ So we pour out our praise, pour out our praise ♪ ♪ It's Your blood in our lungs ♪ ♪ So we pour out our praise to You only ♪ ♪ Worthy, worthy Lord ♪ ♪ Holy is the Lord God Almighty ♪ ♪ Who was and is and is to come ♪ Glory we are to You today. Worthy, worthy Lord. Come on. ♪ Sing all the earth will shout Your praise ♪ ♪ And our hearts will cry, these tongues will sing ♪ ♪ How great are You Lord ♪ There's no one like You Lord. ♪ All the earth will shout Your praise ♪ ♪ And our hearts will cry, these tongues will sing ♪ ♪ How great are You Lord ♪ Every voice now. ♪ All the earth will shout Your praise ♪

♪ And our hearts will cry, these tongues will sing ♪ ♪ How great are You Lord ♪ ♪ All the earth will shout Your praise ♪ ♪ And our hearts will cry, these tongues will sing ♪ ♪ How great are You Lord ♪ ♪ How great are You Lord ♪ ♪ It's Your name in our lives ♪ ♪ So we pour out our praise, pour out our praise ♪ ♪ It's Your name in our lives ♪ ♪ So we pour out our praise to You only ♪ ♪ It's Your name in our lives ♪ ♪ So we pour out our praise, pour out our praise ♪ ♪ It's Your name in our lives ♪ ♪ So we pour out our praise to You only ♪ ♪ How great are You Lord, how great are You Lord ♪ ♪ How great are You Lord, how great are You Lord ♪ One more time today. Sing it. ♪ It's Your breath in our lungs ♪ ♪ So we pour out our praise, pour out our praise ♪ ♪ It's Your breath in our lungs ♪ ♪ So we pour out our praise to You only ♪ ♪ How great are You Lord, how great are You Lord ♪ ♪ So great are You Lord, so great, so great, so great are You Lord ♪ ♪ You're so great, so great, so great are You Lord ♪ ♪ Great and mighty, so great are You Lord ♪ ♪ Great is Your name, great is Your name, great is Your name ♪ ♪ Great is Your faithfulness Lord, Your faithfulness Lord ♪ ♪ Great is thy faithfulness, O God my Father

There is no shadow of turning with thee Thou changest not, thy compassions they fail As thou hast been, thou forever will be Great is thy faithfulness, great is thy faithfulness Morning by morning, new mercies I see All I have needed, thy hand hath provided Great is thy faithfulness, Lord our true Pardon for sin and peace that endures Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow Blessings of mine within thousand peace I... Come on, sing it. Great is thy faithfulness, O great is thy faithfulness Morning by morning, new mercies I see All I have needed, thy hand hath provided Great is thy faithfulness, Lord our true Come on, sing it again. Great is thy faithfulness, great is thy faithfulness Morning by morning, new mercies I see All I have needed, thy hand hath provided Great is thy faithfulness, great is thy faithfulness Lord our true You unravel me with a melody You surround me with a song Of deliverance from my enemies Until all my fears are gone And I'm no longer a slave to fear For I am a child Oh, I'm no longer a slave to fear, for I am God's Son. From my mother's womb, you have chosen me.

Love has called my name. And I've been born again to your family. Your blood flows through my veins. Can we sing it together? I'm no longer a slave to fear. Come on. For I am God's Son. Oh, I'm no longer a slave to fear. Oh, I'm no longer a slave to fear. No, I'm no longer a slave to fear. Oh, for I am a child of God. No, I'm no longer a slave to fear. Oh, I am a child of God. Has Jesus set anybody free today? Free from the law of sin and death. Free from our own failures. Free from our diseases, from our iniquity. Jesus has been so good to us, amen. And I am surrounded by the arms of a Father. I am surrounded by songs of deliverance. Oh, we've been liberated from all of our bondage. Oh, we're the sons and we're the daughters. So let us sing. Let's sing of our freedom. Let's go. Oh, oh-oh. Oh, oh-oh. Oh, oh-oh. Oh, oh-oh. Oh, oh-oh.

Oh, oh-oh. Oh, oh-oh. Oh, oh-oh. You split the sea so I could walk right through it. You drowned my fears in pearly blood. You rescued me and I will stand and sing. I am a child of God. You split the sea so I could walk right through it. You drowned my fears in pearly blood. You rescued me and I will stand and sing. I am a child of God. Oh, I am a child of God. Oh, I am a child of God. Oh, I am a child of God. I want you to think about what you just sang because sometimes we sing songs that are familiar to us, we love the melody, and we forget to listen. We're proclaiming the gospel over ourselves. We are children, sons and daughters of the Most High God. The Apostle John wrote a letter to Christians. 1 John chapter 3 verse 1, this is what he says. Behold, have a look at the love that the Father has lavished upon us that we might be called the children of God. That's what he says. Yeah, some of you just needed to hear that today because that makes all the difference. He goes on to say, because we are children, we have not yet known who we will fully become. You know what that means? God is still working out things in us. He's still creating us. He's still moving us to become who we were meant to be. But then he says this, but this we do know, a day is coming where we will see Him face to be face and we will be like Him. That day is coming for all of us. So one more time, clap your hands, give Him a shout of praise. He's worthy of your worship today. Yeah, thank you God. And thank you guys for singing with us as you do every week. Hey, a couple months ago I mentioned that like this time in the service right now, it's the only time in the service where

we kind of stop looking at what's on stage. We look around at one another throughout hundreds of years of church history. This is called the passing of the peace. Just a chance for us to welcome one another, to greet one another. So turn around, say good morning, welcome somebody to church, give them a handshake, give them a hug, and then you can go ahead and have a seat. Well, good morning, good morning, good morning. It's so good to see everybody. My name's Lee. I'm up here with Priscilla. Priscilla, how are you doing? I'm doing wonderful. You and I have not done this for a few weeks. Yeah, we've had a bit of a break from one another. Well, I know you're sad about that. I know you're very disappointed about that. Hey, Priscilla and I want to say welcome. You picked a great weekend to be at church on the move. Pastor Gabe, one of our teaching pastors, is going to be out here in just a second. He has an amazing message on friendship. I just love this message. It's going to be a blessing for you. I was out of town last weekend. It's just always good to come back home and be with church family. This is where I belong. There may be some of you, though, that are here for the first time or maybe you're new around here. It's not quite your family or your home yet. Listen, we are so glad that you're here. In fact, we've got something for you. That's right. If this is your first time with us, would you let us know that you're new by texting the word new to the number 23101. We're going to send you a Chick-fil-A gift card on us. It's just our way of thanking you for being with us. If you have a couple minutes after service, Lee and I would love to meet you in person. So we're going to be hanging out right outside in our brand new lobby space. We love being out there. But swing by so we can say hello face to face and really answer any questions you may have about the church. Maybe you find yourself right now looking for a church home. We would love to offer a next step for you to take. Yeah, I love getting to interact with people in our beautiful lobby, but it's always so short. It's just like, hey, good to see you. Have a great week. The next move is a gathering that we do every month where we can actually sit down, share a meal together. Me and Priscilla are there. Pastor Witt is there.

He talks a little bit about who we are and where we're headed as a church. And we love the chance to get to know you, a little bit about your family, what brought you to church on the move. We just love that setting. So if you'd like to be a part of that, we're doing it next weekend. We had one scheduled for today, but Pastor Witt's out of town. And we're like, man, it's pretty important that Pastor Witt is there to meet everybody and share the vision of our church. And so we're going to have it next week, right after this service. If you want to be a part of that, hey, just text the word next to 23101. You can get signed up in that way. We would love to see you there. That's right. We love getting to host Next Move every single month. So like we mentioned, we hope to see you next Sunday after the 1130 service. Also, we would love for you to mark your calendars for something that is happening on Time Change Weekend. Now, we are going to be going back to our pre-construction service times on Sunday of 830, 10, and 1130. And for those of you who are newer to the church, we decided to adjust our service times just a little bit during the first phase of construction, just to give all of us a little more time to navigate the parking lot and the hallways and dropping kiddos off in their classrooms. But now that our brand new front door is open, our lobby space is finished, and quite frankly, because none of us could ever remember what our service times were, we are going back to 830, 10, and 1130. And Saturday night, we'll stay the same at 5 o'clock. I mean, you guys didn't change. But for these other two services, like, yeah, I think it's 817 and 949 or something. And then also, come in a side door and navigate through the building. We've been in a season of confusion, but now clarity has come back, and we've got a new lobby and a new front door and back to normal service time. So we're excited about that, and we hope to see you back on time change. It's literally time change weekend in just a double meaning, double meaning. Okay, good. I just Got that after our fourth service. Okay, listen, before we move on with our service, we always take time to honor and worship God with our giving. If you've never given with us before, it's easy to do. You just text the word give to 23101.

That's kind of the simplest way to do it, but we have two other ways that we give, and they're outlined on a black card in the seat back in front of you, that generosity card. You can have a look at that, take it with you if you want. You kind of see a couple other ways that you can partner with us here. Some of you maybe came prepared to give in the room, cash or check or a one-time gift. There's drop boxes at all of our exits. You can just drop that in on your way out. However you choose to partner with us or give around here, we truly appreciate it. Well, it's time to learn from the word of God. Like I said, Pastor Gabe's gonna come out here. He's got a great message for us. So get your Bible ready, get your notebook ready, and let's do this. Let's bow our heads together, prepare our hearts to hear from our Father. Heavenly Father, thank you so much. We've already had such a great morning to just worship and to just see one another and just be your family, but now we pause, we get quiet, we open our hearts and our ears to what you wanna speak to us through your word. We are listening, Lord, please speak. We pray these things in Jesus' name, amen. Good morning. Last time I was here, no one showed up.

Snow, it's a maturity thing to brave that. And I was here, I didn't see any of y'all. It's much better preaching to a room filled with people than to talking to a camera, and so it is such a privilege. I'm excited to get in this message. Before I get into it, though, I wanna draw your attention to something really cool that we're offering here this Thursday at 7 p.m. in this room. It is a Bible Masterclass. Scott Lindsey, who works for Logos Bible Software, is coming in to educate and to kinda let us know about some changes to this Logos Bible Software. Now, if you don't know about this, and I'm sure a lot of you are not necessarily familiar with it, it is an incredible Bible teaching tool. If you teach a class, a kid's class, a small group, but really, if you just wanna know more about the scripture, if you want to understand your Bible better, this software is amazing. We use it, the teaching team uses it. I'm on it all the time, and they've made it far more accessible. So, what you want is not to download it yet. Don't go after it today. Come to the class. We are gonna give a couple of months away for free, so you wanna wait for that. But if this is something that interests you,

if you want to go deeper in your understanding of scripture, be here Thursday night at 7 p.m. We have been talking since the beginning of the year about breakthrough, and our foundational text, as you all know by now, John 10.10, that thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. It's the ultimate contrast, life and death, the giver of life and the taker of life. And so, the idea of breakthrough for us is not just how we can break through in our own way, our own interpretation of what breakthrough means, but to align it with scripture. It's not just our idea of an abundant life, but what is this abundant life that Jesus is speaking of? And I think it's important for us to ask ourselves the question regularly just to be aware of the areas of our lives where we want the ceiling to dissolve. There are times where things hold us back. I think there are general pursuits that we all kind of share, but there are things that we know, if we stop and we think about it, these things hold us back. If we could speak to Jesus personally, if he were standing right there, we would request him to remove this obstacle. Over this series, we've been focusing in on areas

that produce breakthrough. All of it is to get us into alignment with his good will. And the area of focus for us this morning is friendship, specifically godly friendship. Now, we all understand friendship to some degree. We grew up with friends. We had friends way back as far as we can remember. I mean, you're pretty much best friends with whoever's on the playground that day. I mean, kids are very indiscriminate when it comes to relationships. You get a little bit older and you kind of have a best friend. As a young guy, I had a best friend. I mean, I didn't necessarily call him my best friend because I'm male, right? We don't really do that as much. But the girls did it. It's just, you know, it's not just best friend, it's a best friend forever. You know, the BFF. Raise your hand if you had a BFF. Keyword, had. See, that's a moment of conviction because you said it was forever and you lied about that, didn't you? Because people come in and out of our lives. We have shared context, shared interests. It's contextual, it's circumstantial. We're together, then we're not together,

then we lose touch. Some kids, whenever you're growing up, are friends that you're sort of endorsed by those in authority over you. Some of them are endorsed maybe for a little bit until it's revealed that they're not really good influences on you. I grew up in a structured home, a good home, a principled home. I always liked hanging out with the kids that didn't. It was fun to me to be over where the rules just were a little bit more lax. I remember sitting there with friends, listening to them talk to their parents, interacting with their fathers. And there were so many times I thought, man, I would never in a million years talk to my dad that way, but I'm sure enjoying listening to you do it, right? Certain behaviors that they engage in and you're just thinking like, I can do this over here. I remember one time being with a friend and he had firecrackers and this was not anywhere near the Fourth of July. In fact, it was in the dead of winter and he lit a firework and he threw it into a grass field and I watched that field begin to catch fire quite quickly. And for about half a second, it was just amazing. And then I realized this isn't just any normal field. This is our backyard. This is going to go bad for me when my dad comes home and sees that our yard is now burnt. And so you distance yourself from it, right? And then your parents distance you because some people just aren't that great to be around. And we get older and we realize this. We learn some people are good influences, some not such good influences. People come in and out of life. What is godly friendship exactly? Is it just that? Versions of that except with people who believe in Jesus. Is it just, hey, we're Christ followers and we're friends, so then this is what godly friendship looks like. I learned last week on the front row what I would be speaking about. My brother revealed it that next week's sermon is on friendship. And I thought, oh, okay, this is interesting because I don't know that I have affirmed theology on friendship. And this is honestly one of the great things I love about preaching. It said, I heard someone say it this week, when you teach, you learn twice. And when I teach, I learn four times. If it's here, I preach this four times and I learn. I learn things that I did not know. I study these things and I study it because there's a desire in me for deep friendship. There's an appetite for it. But there's also a bit of a fuzziness as to what exactly is it? Why is it? Do I need it? Do I have to have it? And the reason that I would ask that is because I'm 47. I've been married for 26 years. I have a wonderful relationship with my wife. I love my kids. We're a close family. Do I need extra? There's also the reality

of what it means to be a godly friend. I mean, I could deduce that it means to know and be known truly, warts and all. I mean, is that something that sounds appetizing? There's a hesitancy because there's a cost to that. There's a cost to vulnerability. There's a cost to opening yourself up and allowing someone in. What if they hurt you? What if they betray you? There's also the cost of time. There's a sacrifice. Godly friendship is something that you engage with even when it's not convenient. Is this something that I really want? I think it's a question that many people ask. We have a sort of general desire, maybe surface level desire for it. Maybe we know we need it. Maybe we've tried before and it has failed. And so how do we engage it? We're going to answer these questions, what it is, why it matters, how we pursue it. We'll start here. Proverbs 3.19 says this, the Lord by wisdom founded the earth. By understanding, he established the heavens. God made the world by wisdom. Wisdom is his ways. His ways, the scripture says, are infinitely higher than our ways. His thoughts infinitely higher than our thoughts. God's ways reveal his character. He made the world to operate a particular way. And if it's made by wisdom, it would stand to reason that for us desiring an abundant life means that we will do it through wisdom. And wisdom has a measurable value. We are meant to pursue it at all costs. I want to read a series of verses in Proverbs 3. I'm going to spend most of my time this morning in Proverbs. And since there are several verses here, I want to read 13 through 18, 21 through 24. We'll read it here out of the scripture. Proverbs 3.13 says this, blessed is the one who finds wisdom and the one who gets understanding. For the gain from her is better than gain from silver and her profit better than gold. She is more precious than jewels and nothing you desire can compare with her. Her long life is in her right hand and in her left hand are riches and honor. Her ways are ways of pleasantness and all her paths are peace. She is a tree to life or of life to those who lay hold of her. Those who hold her fast are called blessed. Skipping to verse 21. My son, do not lose sight of these. Keep sound wisdom and discretion

and they will be life for your soul and adornment from your neck. Then you will walk on your way securely and your foot will not stumble. If you lie down, you will not be afraid. When you lie down, your sleep will be sweet. I don't know about you, but that sounds a lot like abundant life to me and that abundant life is found by and through the pursuit of wisdom. Life requires discernment. There are many things in life that fit within the moral code. There's black and white. There are boundaries. Moral law defines many things and most people get that. Most people would say this is clearly right. This is clearly wrong and so we understand those edges of the spectrum. But there is a middle ground. There is a gray zone and when the moral law is silent, wisdom must speak. Proverbs is a book of wisdom. It's known as wisdom literature and so what we're meant to do in engaging Proverbs is we see the wisdom of God revealed. There are rules for life. There are axioms, but really what Proverbs is is it's a series of contrasts.

It's a contrast in people groups, not good and bad, but wise and foolish. Most of the Proverbs break down between what makes a person wise and what makes a person foolish and so what is that? Proverbs 1, seven says this. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction. The fear of the Lord is not the terror of the Lord. It is the reverent awe of the Lord. In reality, it is he is God, I am not. Because that's true, I submit. There are people that say that, but don't live that way. The scripture says that a fool despises the yoke of authority. A fool chooses his own way. We see this in Proverbs 3, five and seven. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge him and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes. Fear the Lord and turn away from evil. The wise person trusts in the Lord. The wise person is dependent. But the fool is independent. The fool is wise in his own eyes. Another way of saying this is that God-reliance is the root of wisdom.

Self-reliance is the root of foolishness. And to be quite honest, this is what everything breaks down to. When you distill life, it is distilled and it meets right here. Am I dependent upon God or am I an outlaw? Do I rebel against his wisdom and his ways to pursue my own way? Now, I lay this foundation because as you'll see, the scripture has a lot to say about godly friendship and it calls godly friendship wise. And so for us, it's not optional. It's the way of wisdom. And so when we walk in the way of wisdom, we become wise. When we walk in the way of the fool, we become foolish. And so there is a submission required, which means that this is not optional. You'll see it, scripture values friendship, sometimes even more than family. Proverbs 17, 17 says this, "'A friend loves at all times, "'and a brother is born for adversity.'" What does this mean? Well, there's a distinction. A friend loves always, a godly friend loves always. A brother is there or may be there in the hard times. Another way of saying it is your brother may love you, but it doesn't mean that he necessarily likes you. My brother and I competed most of our lives. When coming up, we fought a lot.

Now at 47 and he almost 50, our relationship is the best it's ever been by far, but it took a good 20 years to get over all the backstory. Family is complicated and Proverbs is not anti-family, it's pro-reality, you know this. Family can be dysfunctional, family can be limited, family can be absent. Now it doesn't that this is a general statement that completely applies perfectly to every single familial group. But the reality of this is there's hierarchy within family. There's a pecking order to family. There is an authority in family. There's sibling rivalry in family. There are things that are difficult at times to get past. And so Proverbs speaks of friendship as something deeper than this. It's more than just a blood tie. It's a chosen loyalty. And so if this is what Scripture values, it does it for a reason. And the reason is because friendship shapes you. Your relationships shape you. You can see this in Proverbs 6. This is a father talking to a son. My son, keep your father's commandment and forsake not your mother's teaching. Bind them on your heart always. Tie them around your neck. When you walk, they will lead you. When you lie down, they will watch over you. And when you awake, they will talk with you. The reality of how we're meant to parent and how we're meant to pass down the ways of God is, in a sense, there's a commanding of this. There's a shaping in this. And there's a deception in our world today that you are who you choose to be. And this is just simply not so. We see it here reinforced in the positive that there is a tremendous influence of family. This is what it's meant to be. We are not meant to raise our children to be autonomous creatures. This is the message of the world, that you would grow up and develop to the point where you are self-sufficient. But this is the way of foolishness. No one is self-sufficient. In our early years, we are shaped by our families, whether we like it or not. Whether you like your family or not. Now, many people grew up in a broken family, and you turned it and went in a different direction, but that's still you being shaped. You're shaped by what you experience, and you decided, no, that stops with me. And you moved in a different direction. We are shaped in our early years by our families. We are a product of our familial environment. But as we grow, as we develop,

as we move out of the house, that shaping continues. You are not autonomous. You are now being shaped by the people that you let come close. You can see it here in Proverbs 13, 20, whoever walks with the wise becomes wise. The companion of fools suffers harm. Whenever you walk with the wise, you become like them. You walk with the fool, you become like them. There are no other categories, by the way. There are not people in the middle. There are either the dependent or the independent. And we are becoming like the people we let speak to us. And the sobering reality of this, specifically for the fool, and you can see it in Proverbs, all over Proverbs, is the fools perish, not just for a lack of rules, but the fool perishes because of a lack of friends. Either a lack of friends or they choose the wrong friends. Godly friendship is critical. It is not optional. It is one of God's primary instruments in shaping us. And so it's important for us that we know what it is. Aristotle, the great fourth century Greek philosopher, broke this kind of friendship down into three categories. This is not necessarily speaking of romantic relationship, but companionship, friendship, utility, pleasure, virtue. Utility is this, usefulness. You see this a lot in your work. There are people that you're friends with because your work friends. You work together. There's a vocational connection. It could be that there is a barista that you encounter often. There is a utility in that relationship. The relationship does not continue if they stop working behind the counter. There are relationships that dissolve all the time because we no longer work together. Does it mean that you have no care for these people? No, it doesn't mean that at all, but it means that many relationships that we have are relationships of utility. They're useful to us. The second category here is pleasure. Again, this isn't romantic pleasure. This is enjoyment, shared experience, shared interests. We get along. We got chemistry, same sense of humor. There are friends that I grew up with that I could not talk to them for a decade. And I see them, we pick right up where we left off. Nothing ever happened. It's because of our shared sense of humor. We just reminisce and we laugh. I love being with them. It's a relationship of pleasure. I enjoy it. We get something out of it. We can go on vacations together. We can have fun together.

But it's not really more than that. It's just like it's easy to be around this person. Utility, pleasure, virtue is this. Virtue is something much different. It doesn't mean that you have nothing in common with these people. It doesn't mean that there's no enjoyment. But virtue predominantly means there is a shared pursuit of the good. It is far more about the pursuit than anything else. But most of our relationships live up here. Utility and pleasure. It lives there. It has less to do with what we are passionately pursuing. If a romantic relationship is face-to-face, then a godly friendship is shoulder-to-shoulder aimed in a direction. You're pursuing Christ. And that's what unifies you. And so how do you develop a relationship like this? There are three essentials I want to draw your attention to. Oh, I'll skip that. First is this. Godly friendship is discovered. It's discovered. Have you ever been in a place where you knew you needed friendship? You're maybe lonely, and you're like, I need to make friends. I want to make meaningful relationships and connections. I want to go beyond just the surface level.

I want to go into something deeper. And you kind of go pursue that. You're looking for friends. Have you ever noticed that whenever you're looking for friends, you never really seem to find them? It's hard to find friends, especially good friends. It's easy to find acquaintances. It's not too terribly difficult to find some level of companionship, but like true, like blood brother friends, it's hard to find them. Why? Because whenever you're looking for friendship, you don't find it by looking for friendship. You find it by pursuing what the passion is. It is in the shared pursuit that these people are found. It's not just I need friendship. If you're looking for friendship only, you won't find it because the people that you're looking for are pursuing something. And what unifies us is our pursuit. And it doesn't just mean that generally because we're following Jesus that this is possible. All of us can be this way. There are people that you discover that are like you. They share the same principle and conviction. C.S. Lewis defined it like this, what? You too? I thought I was the only one. It's a tuning fork. There's something about this person. We are on the same path.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said this, do you love me? Means at last, do you see the same truth I see? If you do, we are happy together. But when presently one of us passes into the perception of a new truth, we are divorced and the force of all nature cannot hold us together. It is the aim that unifies. It is the pursuit of Christ because again, godly friendship is a primary instrument of God to refine and reshape you into the image of Christ. So whenever someone veers from that pursuit, and I'm sure many of you have experienced that. Maybe when you got saved, the people that you ran with weren't about the same pursuit. And so the relationships dissolve. That can be sad for many people and difficult for many people. Because the reality is whenever you leave a friend group, there's a bit of a gap. And at times you got to walk through that wilderness and it feels like you're walking through alone and many people don't want to be alone. And that's not bad because we're not made to be alone. But a lot of people want to go back to Egypt, so to speak, because I don't know how long I'll be out here in this wilderness, but God is out there calling you to something different. And so for us, we are meant to be about relationship where we are aimed in the same direction. It is not just face-to-face, but it is shoulder-to-shoulder and I'll take it a step further.

It's eye-to-eye, eye-to-eye meaning that you don't just share aim, you share the same station in life. Here's what I mean. You can have people that speak wisdom over you into your life. You could have a counselor that speaks wisdom to you. But that relationship is one of mentor and protege. It is not eye-to-eye. I have a relationship with my wife that is wonderful, but there are some things Even with her, I am not meant to collapse onto her. Why? Because God put me in a position of authority and people buck that all the time in marriage. It's like, oh, you're better than me? No, I'm responsible for you. I have a responsibility. It's not about lording over, it's about serving. And I am not serving my spouse whenever I just break down on her and go, I don't know how we're gonna make it. You ever tried that before, man? You sit there and tell your wife, how does she handle that? She's like, I got you, hun. No, she may do this with her face, but internally there's like, oh my gosh, what are we gonna do? This is why the parent-kid relationship is not an eye-to-eye relationship. This is why it is not wisdom for you as a parent to divulge all that you are to your child.

Because as soon as you do this, as soon as you break down, you're abdicating that role. And whenever you abdicate that role, whether you can see it in them or not, they now feel like they are alone and they have to lead. And so there are relationships that are not eye-to-eye. You may gain wisdom from them, they may be helpful to you, but this is a peer-to-peer relationship for you where you can speak to them and they can speak to you and you mutually receive. Godly friendship is discovered. The second essential is this, godly friendship is forged. We'll move out of the inspiration into the practical a little bit. If friendship is the backbone, godly friendship is the backbone, there are four vertebrae that sort of hold it together. The first, presence, second, awareness, honesty, and counsel. We'll start, of course, with presence. The scripture says this here in Proverbs 17, 17, a friend loves at all times. It doesn't mean that a friend is inseparable from their friend, it doesn't mean they're constantly there, but it means that you're available. If I'm being honest, this is one of the hesitations that I have with friendship. It's this, I have a life, I got a family, I got a job, I got places to go, I got things to do.

I don't mind, I like hanging out with people, but what do I do when it starts to cost me? Am I willing to be there when it's inconvenient? Am I willing to drop everything when needed? Do I care enough to do that? Do I have any relationships in my life that if someone called me and said, hey, I need you, and I go, I'll be there. This is a question that helps you determine whether or not you have companionship or godly friendship. Presence, are you willing to be available even when it costs you something? It's not useful to you anymore, but you are there because you're committed. The second component is awareness. Proverbs 27, 14, whoever blesses his neighbor with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, will be counted as cursing. You ever have someone walk into your room and talk to you like it's midday and it isn't? It's just, it makes you hate them, it really does. It's hard to get over. There's an emotional intelligence in this. And the reality isn't just like, how do I get around you well? It's that I care enough to care. That I care enough to know. Like, what scares you, what energizes you, what makes you tick?

I wanna know. And so I'm aware of that, that's how I engage with you. I respect that, and I respect that because I care. There's an awareness, there's an emotional intelligence that proves that I actually am committed and that I love. Presence, awareness, third is honesty. Proverbs 27, five and six, better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, profuse are the kisses of an enemy. I know this hits a lot of us because many people are conflict avoidant. We don't like confrontation and so we say, I don't want to tell them that because it'll hurt them. But the reality is, we are not so concerned with hurting them, we are more concerned with losing our comfort. We don't speak the truth because it makes us uncomfortable. And so if the bridge is out, we'll let people that are in our lives just keep going like, oh, I don't wanna say that, who am I to confront that? I don't wanna do that. And we're intimidated by it, we don't like it, we don't wanna make people uncomfortable, we dare not make them dislike us. And so we let them proceed down a road. Eventually they'll find out when they begin to plummet, I guess. We don't speak the truth. Do you have people in your life that you speak the truth?

And really what I would say is, do you have people in your life that you let speak the truth to you? Are there people that you'll sit with? Many people want friendship and they call it friendship, but really what they wanna be is a mentor. They wanna tell other people what to do. It's like I got a teaching gift without a platform, so let me teach you. I want people who will gain from my wisdom. That's fine, to some degree. But do you listen back? If they tell you something, maybe you hear it, do you receive it? Does it mean anything to you? Does it move the needle for you? For years of my life, this was a difficulty. There were things that people would say to me, they would speak, and I would just, I would hear it, but it didn't affect me. There was something much deeper in me that I could not reconcile. And so when someone's trying to correct me, I was defensive about it, it just threatened my identity too much as there's someone that you know is for your good that can speak the truth to you. It may wound, it may hurt, but do you receive it? Is there anyone like that? If not, then you have companionship, but not godly friendship.

And the fourth element here is counsel. Proverbs 27, nine, the heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense. This is people for your good. You can get counsel from a lot of places. You can get counsel from a podcast, you can read a book, you can get wisdom from different areas. But the reality of godly friendship is it's counsel from someone who knows you. It's so much more powerful that way. It means so much more whenever you know the person telling me this actually knows me. I've had people give me advice before, and I'm like, you are crazy. You have no idea. If I were to apply what you said, it would just blow everything up, but you don't have any understanding. There's not an awareness of the familial dynamic. And so when you tell me to do this, like this is the right thing, and like, not for me it's not, you don't know me. You don't know my story. You don't know what challenges things. You don't get it. And so whenever you have a godly friendship, you have someone that is about your good that has been present enough to know you, that can speak to you and tell you tough things. But it isn't just tough, it can also be reassuring.

We need to be affirmed by people. We need someone to stand with us. We need solidarity. Yes, we need challenging words sometimes. There's a sharpening component, yes. This isn't just simply accountability. This is someone that moves the needle. God has designed you to live in this kind of relationship, but do you have people that fit the bill? The third essential and godly friendship is that it's sustained. It is sustained. You have to keep it going, but it's difficult to do. There's an intimidation in this, I feel it. And it's not that I don't want it, I can't understand it at all. It's the sustaining part. Because we're prone to keep score, we're prone to demand perfection, we avoid conflict, we don't speak the truth, all these different things break down relationship, and we've all experienced it. This is what sin does. Sin doesn't just hurt you. Sin always fractures relationship. And so in order to sustain anything that God tells us to do, the great thing about the Lord is he says, if I have asked you to do it, I will be there with you, and in fact, I am the bedrock, I am the author, and I am the finisher.

I am the model, and I am the one who empowers you to do it. John 15, 12 through 15, Jesus says this before the cross. This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you, as I have modeled. I am your model, I am your example. You are to do what you have seen me do. Greater love has no one than this that somebody would lay his life down for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing. But I have called you friends for all that I have, and all that I've heard from my Father. I have made known to you, you know me, I know you. And I sacrifice for you, Jesus is our model. So when you ask yourself, do I need this, do I need this kind of friendship, I feel pretty good. I don't feel like I really need anybody, I'm good. Everything that Jesus asks us to do, he gives us his ways, and his ways reveal his character. And we're meant to walk in those ways so that we. can be reshaped into his image so that we can be like him. This is the point of all life. It is the point of the hereafter. We will become like Christ. That is to be our pursuit. And so Jesus is our model, and Jesus did not need the friendship of humanity, but he engaged with us and sacrificed and gave the greatest gift of all.

And if he is our model, then the question isn't, do I need this, but is this not the path of discipleship? That I would engage people, that I would include people in my life, not simply for the purpose of taking something from them, but so that I can give something, not expecting anything in return. This is the obedience of giving, of generosity, of everything in Christ. There is a give and then you receive component. But it always requires an open hand, and Jesus is our model, and he is the one who sustains it. So before I close, real quick, four simple steps. I will move through these fast. Quick application. How do you apply this? What do I do now? Step one, choose a couple, not many. Now the English is off, because last night that said a few. Jesus had three, Peter, James, and John, and I thought, he was perfect, we're not, so let me deduce it, one, we'll go two. Here's the reality. You cannot have a lot of these kind of friends in your life because you just don't have the juice to maintain them. To be a godly friend to many probably means that you're not going down as deep is as required. And so you're looking for one or two people.

Look, it's not easy to find people that you go, I thought I was the only one. We see the world the same way. You're choosing just a couple of people to pursue this kind of relationship with. The second step is this, discover before you forge. Again, it's shared pursuit. So before you start implementing the activity of friendship, put yourself in the position to be around people that share your passion. And I don't just mean your vocational passion. Again, this is you moving towards Christ. These are God-centered relationships. Nothing wrong with work relationships, but the point and purpose of this is that you would become like Jesus. So in your pursuit of Christ, who do you see around you? That's why the church is such a great place. I realize this is a big room. I don't recommend that you come in here, sit high up at the top, and just sort of locate people. He looks like he'd be a good friend. Come into smaller environments. COTMU is a good spot to do that. Small groups, great spot to do that. A daughter's event, a brotherhood breakfast. The Bible Masterclass this Thursday. Who shares your passion? You discover before you forge.

The third step is this, you build the backbone. I recommend micro-commitment to begin. This is not an all-in. This is not a I choose you, now we're in covenant. Coffee one, here we are, blood brothers, and then by coffee three, you really can't stand them. Right, like shoot, there were things that I didn't let develop, and now they're gonna be in my wedding. This is problematic. Like slow down, this is not a race. It's sanctification, it's a journey. We walk. So a micro-commitment looks like you wanna get coffee next month, and then maybe set another schedule the next month. And then begin to practice the elements, presence, awareness, honesty, counsel, as it's appropriate. And it's not just you going, hey, let me tell you something. Are you willing to receive? You're not just gonna feel it the whole time. It's a choice. But you begin to walk it out little by little by little. And the last step is this. Anchor it in Jesus. I'll just say, this is so important, and this has been a real revelatory week for me, and here's why. I have known of the gospel, heard the message of Christ

since as far back as I can remember. I have a relationship with Jesus, as you would hope. But I gotta be honest with you. There's a component to male-to-male closeness that can be tricky. We come into rooms like this, and we sing worship songs about the beauty of our Lord. My brother, a couple of weeks ago, asked a question that convicted. It's something I've thought about many times. He said, do you find Jesus to be beautiful? And obviously this is not talking about physical beauty, but it's about just desiring the person of God. I've often thought, is it easier for the daughters of God to be in relationship with their heavenly father, to love God in that way than it is his sons? I mean, it's just different, right? Male to male. I'm convinced that the gift of godly friendship is God's gift to men. To say, hey, I wanna reveal to you how much I love you, but you won't know that if you don't walk in this path of wisdom, because you're gonna see that it's possible to love and care deeply instead of being standoffish, like that's not what a man does. Every time I read the gospels and the account in John where at the last supper it says that John was reclining at the table and laying his head on Jesus's shoulder,

I read that every time and I think, that's wild to me, that kind of relationship, closeness. And I'm convinced part of what Satan has done in our world is he's broken this apart by making everything so incredibly awkward, but what Satan has ruined, God wants to redeem. And so I believe this, that for men, I know I'm speaking to part of the room, but for men, godly friendship is a requirement for you. You are not too masculine for it. God knows who you are. God loves you. God has a design for you and you are not meant to walk through this alone. There are parts of your life that you will never see. There are people that triangulate you and they're able to speak to you and move you forward. This is part of how you break through. You cannot break through and live an abundant life without it. And so this is a convicting moment, it has been for me. Am I willing to engage or am I going to say, I'm good? Because you're not just saying I'm good, you're saying I'm foolish because I don't submit to the way of wisdom. I will remain independent when it comes to godly friendship. I hear you, but I know better. And that's not who we are and that's not what any of us want. And so this is a moment where God is trying

to give us a gift. Will we open our hand and receive it? Will you bow your heads, please? Dear Heavenly Father, thank you. Thank you for being so good to us. There are so many parts of who you are that have not been fully revealed to us. Your love has not been fully revealed to us. It isn't because you're withholding it. It's because there are places that we just don't let it penetrate. And so I thank you so much for your gifts, your ways. Your ways reveal who you are. They reveal your character. They reveal your love. And so in this moment, we submit to these ways. We pursue what you have called us to pursue. We ask you to forgive us for the areas of life where we have remained foolish, where we have been independent. But right now, Lord, we choose willfully dependency, God-reliance. May we look to you, and if we look to you, you give command, and we are your friends when we obey your command. We are aligned. And so we go about our week with a determination that we will begin the process if we find ourselves with many companions, and we are subject to ruin

because there are people that need to go deep. We need to be in close relationship with. And so, Lord, this is our declaration. But Lord, we cannot declare it at our own strength, by our own will. We can only do this with your strength. But you're with us. You have empowered us by your spirit. And so by faith, we walk this out. We're not where we wanna be, but you are the one who will bring us to where we need to go, and we just submit to that process, and we thank you for being our strength, for being our rock. It is in you that we have faith and confidence. And so thank you, Lord, for loving us. Thank you, Lord Jesus, for coming to this earth to be the ultimate friend, to give the ultimate gift, to bridge the gap that you make us righteous by your blood. We receive it. We thank you for your sacrifice. Thank you for a good week. Thank you for blessing us and thank you for helping us to remember what it is that we've heard here this morning. We pray this prayer of faith in Jesus' mighty name and everyone said, amen. Well, thank you for being here at Church on the Move. You can stand to your feet as always. When you dismiss, we will have prayer partners down front.

We would love to pray with you. If you have a need for healing, if you have a financial need, if you are unclear of your relationship with Jesus, that's what this is for. We would love to pray with you, stand with you, join our faith with yours. It would be a pleasure. Now, I'll pronounce a blessing over you and we will dismiss. The words will be up on the screen. You can say it with me if you like. The Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you. The Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace. God bless you. You are dismissed.