What Are You Looking For ? | Relationship-ology Part. 3 | Dr. Dharius Daniels

called Relationshipology. Clap your hands if the Lord's been speaking to you through it. And this series is not just a series on relationships. It's really a series on strongholds, and relational strongholds, rather. And strongholds aren't something that has a stronghold on you. Strongholds are the lie, the fences, the ideology, the beliefs that actually create distance and barriers between you receiving truth that actually sets you free. So it's a lie that you're treating like the truth that's keeping you bound. Am I making sense? Yeah. And so, as the consequence of some of these strongholds has been just heartbreak, and heartache, and dysfunction, and relational trauma. And what I've discovered, for so many that are getting married now, is that the first few years of their marital bond is actually trauma bonding. Because they have brought so much baggage from the relational cycles of the past into the relationship in the present. We just believe through this series God's going to break some of that. Come on, church. He's going to break some of that. And we've been talking about friendships, and last two weeks we've been talking about dating. Next week we're going to have some real conversation about the biblical concept of spiritual family. The next week one of our spiritual sons is going to be here, and he's going to talk. He's really good at talking about family trauma, and family drama. Because sometimes Cain is jealous of Abel. Y'all not ready. Yeah, sometimes Cain is jealous of Abel. Cain is jealous of Abel. And then I'll be back in the next couple of weeks. I'll talk about what this book has to say about marriage. So we're going to lean into this today, and I'm incredibly excited to be here. I just want to honor a friend of mine. He's a friend of this house, and he's here in the building today. In my estimation, one of the greatest thought leaders of his generation. And a great, he's a pastor par excellence, and a biblically faithful proclaimer of truth. If you've been around Cain at least two years, he's been with us. So I know he's unforgettable to you. His name is the Reverend Dr. Reggie Sharp. He's in the building here on the front row. We're glad to have you with us today, brother.

Appreciate and honor you. Okay, let's go to Genesis chapter number 24, beginning at verse 1. I'm going to read a few verses, and we're going to leap into our lesson today. Amen. Been quiet in the church these past few services. Been quiet in the church, but... Quiet in the church. Genesis chapter 24, verse 1 says, Abraham was now very old, and the Lord had blessed him in every way. He said to the senior servant in his household, the one in charge of all that he had, put your hand under my thigh. I want you to swear by the Lord, the God of heaven and the God of earth, that you will not get a wife from my son, from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I'm living, but go back to my country, among my relatives, and get a wife for my son Isaac. I want to stop the reading of scripture there. We're talking from this subject in our time together. And family, remember, I told you this last week. If you're married or even not interested in dating, there's some bread God gives you to eat, and then there's some bread God gives you to share. When Jesus fed the 5,000 men, not counting women and children, he didn't feed them directly. He gave the bread to disciples, and the disciples gave the bread to the crowd. So even if you're married, there are going to be some truths that we're going to teach you today from scripture that might not be for you personally, but you take this bread, and you share it with other people when they're in need. That way you're giving them advice informed by scripture, not just your perspective based on your experience.

Make sense? All right. So we're going to talk from this subject in our time together. Family, what are you looking for? Clap your hands 1230 if you're ready for God's word. What are you looking for? I want to start this sermon with a statement that you've heard me regularly repeat from this platform. And I am re-articulating this axiom because it is uniquely salient for today's sermon. It's simple. You are born looking like your parents, but you die looking like your decisions. You are born looking like your parents, but you die looking like your decisions. In other words, divine sovereignty doesn't eliminate human responsibility. God will guide our choices, attempt to govern our choices, but he created us. He created us to be individuals with agency, with volition and free will, so he will not control our choices. And because he will not control our choices, he has adopted the divine posture and position that I will let you live on, whatever level you settle for. And this is the truth that not only applies to our life generally, it is also a truth that applies to our life relationally. Our relational destiny is largely impacted

by our relational decisions. I said it last week, I'm gonna say it this week, and I'm standing 10 toes down on it. It is uniquely difficult to have a good relationship when you made a bad pick. Therefore, there is a truth that is postured in this passage here in Genesis chapter number 24, that I think everyone who takes spouse selection seriously needs to take into consideration. This truth, this principle, this axiom is as follows. Just because someone is a good person does not mean they're a good partner for you. Just because they're fine doesn't mean they're a fit. Just because they're rich with coin doesn't mean they ready for commitment. Just because they pretty doesn't mean they prepared. And just because you have chemistry doesn't mean we have compatibility. Therefore, every person that wants to make wise decisions when it comes to spouse selection must learn the difference between desirability and suitability. Just because you want them doesn't mean you need them. And just because it feels good when you are together doesn't mean things are good when you get together. They may be romantic, but that doesn't mean they're responsible. Romance plans the dates, but responsibility pays the bills. It keeps the promises.

It tells the truth. It doesn't blow our accounts, doesn't take our arguments to the internet, doesn't embarrass our family, and doesn't put my health in jeopardy in my house because you running reckless in these streets. Responsibility. Responsibility. Therefore, everybody who takes spouse selection seriously must have a healthy and biblical theology of suitability. Just because they are smart, just because they are successful, y'all not ready for this, and just because they saved. Does not mean they are suitable. And this theology of suitability is anchored in a passage in Genesis chapter number two, verse number 18. It's an interesting statement that God makes. It's a statement that God makes after he engages in the creation of Adam. He stepped back and does some observation and evaluation of his creation and comes to this conclusion. It's not good. That what I just created based on the assignment that I've given him, it is not good that he exists in isolation. He will never experience optimization as long as he's operating in isolation

and he needs something that I'm not going to give him directly and the animals can't give him. So he says, I'm going to have to make what he need. Let me go. Let me go. God says, what he needs is so specific. It's so customized. It's so consequential. I can't give him something random. I've got to give him something customized, unique, extraordinary, special. I got to make what he need. So let me put him to sleep, which represents a season of inactivity. And after a season of inactivity, I'm going to pull something out of him and then I'm going to make something for him that when he sees what I sent, he's going to say, now this right here is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. And some of your dating conundrums, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on. Is you've been making generic choices when you got a customized assignment. God's like, I'm going to have to make yours. You're not just going to get that off the shelf. I'm going to have to make yours. I will make for him a helper suitable a helper that's suitable now I'm not gonna bother this too much I'm not gonna bother this too much but when we start

talking about marriage in a few weeks we're coming back to this because we've got to do some healthy and biblical deconstruction and expose where some people have made social norms the equivalent of theological claims because the word that the writer uses for helper here is very interesting it's a word that is often used I think over 20 times in the Old Testament to refer to God a very present help in the time of trouble this is the same word that the writer uses to describe Eve so when he says helper or some translations help mate some translations help meet he is not saying a subordinate or secretary that's another message right cuz some people confuse and conflate submission with subordination we're gonna deal with it later but you cannot get submission in marriage right without getting the Trinity right because the Trinity models for you what it means not to be a subordinate but to submit the second person of the Trinity thought it not robbery to be equal with God but he lowered himself and submitted to someone he was equal to because the mission required somebody to get under it and if you have to make somebody a subordinate to get them to submit that says a lot about your leadership not just their nature because if you'll lead her like Christ she'll submit like the church let me yeah some people are not submitting because they're arrogant and because they're dealing with arm press process trauma and cynical but then some people aren't submitting because honestly they love you but they don't see you as safe they trust your character but they don't trust your judgment when you take bill money and buy your boat you want me to submit okay that's not what we're talking about though he he says helper suitable it's really weird is this really word because it's it's he uses he uses this this this interesting word here it modifies Ezra it's it's suitable it's corresponding to him it is as like in front hub or like opposite in front of it's interesting it's it's facing him as a counterpart rather than duplicating him this is interesting culture called a compatibility we call it suitability here it is don't miss this interesting word here we not the opposite and we not the same but like two pieces of a

puzzle we fit so biblical suitability is this we stimulate enough to connect we distinct enough to complete we capable enough to fulfill bone in my bone flesh in my flesh I see me in you without having to conjure up trim trivial similarities because all similarities aren't equally significant and some people are defining chemistry based on insignificant similarities we like the same movies so we should be together how is that gonna affect the relationship oh my god that's got to be my soulmate we got the same favorite color what are you talking about I need to know do we have similar morals do we have similar vision do we have similar values do we have similar work ethic I need so we similar enough to connect to this organic unforced connection but then but then we distinct enough to complete it means we rich West the other person's poor because when you don't understand this you will see the danger when you are too different but you won't see the danger in duplication because duplication can be dangerous just like difference because if we both got the same weaknesses we in trouble Did you hear what I just said? If you're not rich where I'm poor, we're still vulnerable in the same area. We just compounded our weaknesses. Did you hear what I just said? Both of us can't be bad with money. Both of us can't be bad with people. Both of us can't be weak in our faith. Some of us have to be rich while the other person's poor. Now here's the problem. This distinction often creates some tension and it's tension that we don't want, but the tension brings the balance you need. So you don't like the tension, but you need the balance. You spend too much, she spend too little, it creates tension, but it bring balance. Let me go over here. You don't take enough risk, they take too much risk.

It creates tension, but it bring balance. You don't trust nobody, they trust everybody. It creates tension. And some of us have been so traumatized by toxicity in relationships, you think all tension is toxic. So you treat the asset of tension like it's a liability. Similar enough to connect. You with me? Similar enough to connect, distinct enough to complete, capable enough to fulfill. God's in the garden, animals are in the garden, and God makes this observation comes to this conclusion is something you need, you aren't going to get directly from me, and you can't get from animals. Eve's going to meet a relational need. So are y'all with me? So there are all sorts of needs that we have. We got physical needs, don't we? You got to eat, you got to have food, clothing, shelter, right? Then you've got spiritual needs. Your spirit is literally made to commune with God. You got emotional needs. We got relational needs. Needs that are met in the context of a relationship. The question is, do you know what yours are? Because if you don't, you don't have a filter to vet whether or not they have the capability to meet them. And so now you're with them and mad for them not being something they never was. Now don't confuse capability with competence. Capability deals with capacity. Competence deals with skill. So they may not always have the skill immediately, but if they are culturable and humble and

correctable, then you can guide them on how to acquire the skill to meet the need that you have. And when people don't recognize this, they treat the major like it's minor. They treat the minor like it's major, and they walk away from a potentially providential partner over something that's trivial. They say things like, he can't dress. If you don't take him to Lenox, did you hear what I just said? If you don't take him to Lenox, and he got money, you can take him to Lenox with his credit card. I like him, but he don't have no style. You the stylist. Baby where it is? Stop. Where it is? Take that off. Take that off. Y'all not real. I got to go. Y'all not, y'all not. Hey, when I was writing this, I started feeling a way. It's the weirdest thing. I'm writing this sermon. Then I thought about, I'm like 19, 20 years old. Me and Pastor Shemekah are dating. And I remember it was my birthday. And she was so smooth with it. She said, oh, it's your birthday? I'm going to take you shopping. So you're going to take me shopping? Okay. Take your boy shopping.

I'm telling Kaylee, yeah, she's taking me shopping, man, you know? Give me these outfits. She picking out all the, mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm. We went to North Park Mall, County Line Road, Jackson, Mississippi. me to a store called Dillard's she picking out nautica outfits y'all don't know about and Brit now I started putting this message together I thought about it she was like this is a good man Savannah but he I got it I got it he from kill Michael he needs some you say let me get this body Stacy Adams why we similar enough to connect distinct enough to complete capable enough to fulfill because desirability doesn't mean suitability so what metrics do I use what filter do I use what criteria do I create to see if we're similar enough to connect distinct enough to complete capable enough to fulfill this is where our text becomes a textbook that can offer us some insight in this particular area you see Genesis 24 gives us a schematic for suitability word Genesis means origin or beginning so the content contained in the book of Genesis is content that exposes us to origins and beginnings we see the beginning of world and creation we see the beginning of the human species we see the beginning of family we see the beginning of sin we see the beginning of covenant and some of the content contained in Genesis most of it attracts the life of biblical characters some of the content contained in Genesis is what's called descriptive it is describing what happened but not endorsing what happened does that make sense okay so after the flood Noah has too much merlot stop sanitizing the scriptures too much merlot what's it's called what's it called oh is that right no y'all know what I'm talking about though too many French 75s it's descriptive not prescriptive Abraham lies and calls his own wife his sister that's descriptive describing what should happen but not prescriptive not prescribing but then there are some lessons we see in the life of biblical characters and God exposes us to what happened with them because it gives some education and some insight for us and Genesis 24 is one of those passages this shouldn't just be descriptive concerning what Abraham did we could

look at it and we should see some prescriptions for what we should do because even though this text is not about dating dating's not in the Bible this text is about spouse selection and you have a man who clearly hears from God who's called a friend of God who's called the father of the faith who gives very clear criteria to his senior servant about what to look for when you're choosing a spouse for my son the fact that I mean he gets specific he made the servant now this is just a symbol of swearing it was it was metaphorical it was it was covenantal in a sense he says hey I need you to swear because I don't know if I'm gonna be around but I need you to swear that you're going to follow this criteria when it comes to picking a wife for my son this shows us something about the way Abraham saw divine sovereignty versus human responsibility his attitude wasn't just God got it come on he could have just said I'm gonna pray about it and God got it he told that servant I need you for this this this this because the same spirit that I'm waiting to speak to me to say this the one is the same spirit that can help me not see them first but see me first because he know me better than I know myself and show me me and then show me whether or not they're showing me what I need to see to determine whether or not they for me did you hear what I just said So in the text we see several areas where I'm arguing Abraham encourages his servant to explore suitability. Yes, you see prayer in the text. We don't talk about that. They prayed, but he also watched. He looked. So there are a few areas in the text we see, and these areas that Abraham looked at should just be areas we looked at. We look at. Does that make sense? So when we're dating and we're gathering data, we're having conversations to extract this information. First area right here in the text is their spiritual suitability. Pass where you get this from, verse 3. I want you to swear by the Lord, the God of heaven, that you will not get a wife or my son among the daughters of the Canaanites among whom I'm living. See when Abraham makes a statement, this is not about ethnicity. It is not about geography. It is about idolatry. The Canaanites were an idolatrous people, and Abraham knew very clearly that whoever my son marries, he's not just marrying them. He's marrying what

influences them, and whatever is influencing them is going to impact me, and they need to be aligned when it comes to what's influencing them. They need to be aligned in terms of who governs the relationship. They need to be aligned when it comes to who do we appeal to as a source of authority when we don't agree. Here is what you see. You see here, like you hear, you see here the first signs of what Paul calls in the New Testament unequally yoked. Now when Paul uses this term, he's not talking about dating. He's not talking about covenantal relationships. He's not talking about marital relationships. He says don't be yoked together with unbelief. Am I making sense? But if it applies to non-covenantal relationships, why would it not apply to covenantal relationships? Now when he uses this language, that people group will be familiar with some imagery that we are not, which is why we do a lot of guesstimating and pontificating about what this means. A lot of times it's strong and wrong. What Paul is using here is an agricultural analogy that we see even mentioned specifically, I think in the book of Deuteronomy, where Israel is advised do not yoke an ox and a donkey together. Did you hear what I just said? So this apparatus that they use to plow a field, he said don't put an ox on one side and a donkey on the other side. If you got an ox on one side and a donkey on the other side, it's unequally yoked. Number one, an ox is stronger than a donkey and a donkey is more stubborn than an ox. So when the master tells the ox to plow, the ox will move, but the donkey might stand still. Did you hear what I just said? Now, the only way this works is if you're an ox that act like a donkey. It means you don't take your religion seriously. So if you just kind of half in, they don't have to be in at all. But if you're one that's listening to God, submitted to the scriptures, you've got your ear open toward heaven, trying to really do this thing third way, you're going to hit a point where the master's going to say, move, sell, buy, don't do that, serve, tie, this, that, and you're ready to move and the donkey's like, why we got to do that? At some point, that friction, that exhaustion is going to create resentment because you're gonna have two people showing up in the relationship

differently. I'm showing up trying to love you like Christ. So I'm trying to be patient and long-suffering and you moody, temperamental, attitudinal, I'm trying to be generous, you stingy, y'all aren't talking to me like I'm trying to keep no record of wrong, you keep reading out my list of wrongs. I keep turning the other cheek, you keep exploiting my humility because I won't do back to you what you'll do to me, you keep doing it. You keep playing me because I take my Christianity seriously. At some point, you're gonna get tired of dragging that donkey and then you'll be looking at God and God's like, you got under this yoke. I got to go. Here it is. So this means spiritual suitability does not mean we just share the same faith. Just because they saved does not mean they safe. So it doesn't just mean we share the same faith. It means we share the same spiritual values within the context of our faith. So it's not just, are you Christian? It's like, okay. You can still be a narcissist, a gaslighter, a liar, a manipulator, a thief. What kind of Christian are you? What kind? Does that make sense? So if you're biblically balanced, but they're incarcerated with legalism, how that's going to work. I'm saying that because when I first met first lady, I was, I started preaching at 19. I was a legalist, a Pharisee of Pharisees. This is how big a Pharisee I was. See some of y'all too young for what I'm about to get ready to go. But back in my day in college, we had something called CD players. This is the young section. What old section are they?

They're like, what's that? What? Okay. Right here. Huh? This is a CD changer. When you got in somebody's car, you see something that looked like a photo album. You open that thing up. You got CDs all in there. So me and first lady day, I get in her car. She had this little green geo prism. I get in the car, John, I get in the car. I pick up that little album. I opened that album and I say, what is the meaning of this? Now this is about to be too, this is about to be too old for some of y'all. I opened the album. I see juvenile. Master P. Lil Wayne before the tattoos. I get in the car. But all I hear is the black is hot. The block is the block is hot. This is bad. I said, we need some Donny McClurkin in here and some Kirk Franklin. I made her throw those CDs away and I gave her Donny McClurkin, Fred Hammond's Pages of Life and Kirk Franklin. GP, are you with me? Just the Pharisee. I was so bad. I was so bad.

She literally, because my pastor was coaching and counseling us while we were dating. I was so bad. After our first date, she told my pastor, let me tell you how bad I was. On the first day, I took her to a Creflo dollar convention and she went, I don't know what. She told my pastor called me, he said, son, he called me Sunday, son Daniels. You got to have some balance. It's funny when you're dating. It's a problem when you married. Yeah, they're Christian, but is there compatibility suitability in terms of the way you're practicing your faith? Because if you're a person that believes that the scriptures lead to a integrated whole life, we're like the book of Ecclesiastes. Solomon says you enjoy the fruit of your labor. You enjoy the wife of your youth. If you believe that the song of songs is in the Bible as a powerful picture, not just for Christ relationship with the church, but as a powerful picture of possibility for those of us who are in covenantal relationship with one another, you had to have some balance. And I'm not saying if like, if, if that sort of expression of Christianity works for you. Cool. But if not, you're in for a lifelong tension. You're going to be on the beach in Cabo and they're going to have you in a blue jean skirt and tennis shoes. Y'all not. Y'all listen to me. They tired, tired. Y'all let's play. Y'all listen to me. Everything I'm teaching is from the perspective of a person who is helping people navigate problems on the other side of the covenant. I'm telling you, this is the stuff that show up. You have to check this. If not, you'll be inside the covenant. Now you got to tolerate it. You got to break covenant or you got to stay broken. Then there's character compatibility. What do you see that pastor? Verse five, the servant asked him, what if the woman is unwilling to come back with me to this land? Shall I then take your son back to the country you came from? Notice the word that he uses willingness. Now look what happens in verse eight. Abraham says in verse eight. OK, if she's unwilling to come back with you, then you'll be released from this oath of mine.

Just don't take my son back there. So willingness here speaks to adaptability, flexibility, amenability, movability. So there's spiritual suitability and then there's character suitability, meaning what are the kind of character traits that your life requires another person have? So the nature of your life is going to have you moving and there's unpredictability to it and things of that particular nature. And you have a person that doesn't carry those character traits. Tension. You also need to be clear on what attributes you find unattractive. Because bad attributes makes a handsome person ugly to you. You like, you know what? You look good until you started talking and now you don't look good anymore. Number three. Relational suitability. This request or this desire for her to be willing to to come to Canaan is interesting because it means she's got to leave her family. So what are your relational roots like? Here's a larger principle. I don't want us to get caught up in because everybody should leave and cleave. But here's the principle I want to pull from this passage. How relationally amiss are you with your family? And and will your familiar bond keep you from creating a covenantal bond with me? Are you going to put me in a position where I got to check somebody because you won't? Let me go over here. I felt it got a little cold over there. A hundred percent. So if your family is over involved and over opinionated and putting me in these weird spots, do I know you will handle them? Because I don't want you to put me in a position where I got to handle them. Are you here? I said, are you here? Now, you mad at me because I got to check your daddy. But the only reason I had to check your daddy, because you won't check your daddy and your daddy treat me like I'm not talking to me. I love your mother, but I married you. Also, what kind of relational boundaries do you set with your family? And are you willing to honor the boundaries I request? So you got permission to tell your family anything you want to about you. You do not have permission to tell your family anything you want to about me. We need to agree because after me and you make up, they still looking at me strange at Thanksgiving and I ain't going back. Let me go here. Number five, four. Y'all taking notes. I hope you taking notes.

I'm telling you, this is all the stuff Pastor Shemeka and I have to help people untangle in marriage. Yes, this is in the text. Hex, but these are things we're telling you. If you can just get these issues right, it's half the battle. Physical suitability, look at this. Verse 15, before he finished praying, Rebecca came out with a jaw on her shoulder. Look at verse 16, she was very beautiful and a virgin. So notice now, it calls her beautiful. It doesn't call her very beautiful till verse 15, not verse one. We see her character before we see her looks. So this doesn't mean physical suitability doesn't matter. It means you need to assign proper value to it because the Bible's clear, beauty fades. So you can't make a lifetime commitment based on something that won't be there for a lifetime. Some people are like, Pastor, I'm gonna be fine until I, all right. However, just because we shouldn't idolize attraction doesn't mean we should ignore it. So you have to determine where does this matter to me and don't act like it don't if it does. You understand? So if it's verse 15 for you, it's verse 15 for you and that's great, but for some of you, you got this sense of spirituality that makes you feel like it's vain if you value the physical attraction. That's not vain.

That's wisdom. That's what you like. If not, you're gonna be married and he gonna pull up in the driveway. It's eight o'clock at night. Now you're running upstairs, getting into bed, playing sleep. You not asleep, wake up. You don't want him to touch you. You don't want him to touch you. It's not vain. You just, Christians not honest. Then get married like, how you doing? I'm struggling. What? Now y'all not ready for this. The text says she was very beautiful and a virgin. Now, contextually here, let's treat the text fairly. A person, a woman's worth was largely determined by that. Suitability for marriage was largely determined by that. That's not the principle I want to pull from the passage here. What I need, what I want to pull from the passage is this, that this text not only gives us guidance on suitability when it comes to physical attraction, but suitability also when it comes to intimacy. Now what you want? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause don't covenant what you want and then not get it

and then use that as an excuse to go outside the covenant and be running around. Let's sit down like adults. Y'all are not talking to me. We got the teens in the tent. Let's talk. The Bible lays out the boundaries. So we will not go outside the boundaries that the Bible lays out, but all up in here, we need to talk. This section is too. We need to have, we need to talk. We need to talk about frequency. We need to talk about creativity. Let me go. I feel my love way over here in this section. We need to talk. Talk. So I can know what you expect. So I'm not about to do that now. Play, play. Let's go home, baby. That's it. That's it. That's it. These are things that come, I'm telling you, these are things that become conundrums in the context of marriage because people don't talk about them. They don't see if we're suitable here.

And this might not even be something that matters much to you. It's fine if it doesn't, but if it does. Bring the camera here. Let's just go. Let's just, that's it. That's it. I want to pray, I want to, okay, I do, I am cheating you. The last ones, play. The last one was financial suitability. Aaron and Laban, I mean Laban, Rebecca, Laban is in Rebecca's family and Abraham. So Abraham and Rebecca's family were both people of means. And you got two extremes of conversations out here. One is like, it's all about money. And then the other conversation is like money doesn't matter. And I just feel like you have to be honest with you in terms of what qualifies as financial suitable. Does that make sense? There has to be honest conversations about that. So if a person only gets with a person for money, that's one thing. But if a person says, part of what helps me sleep is knowing we will have lights when I wake up. That's not vain. Am I making sense? I said, am I making sense? And I love this because Rebecca's making her decision, not because she needs to be rescued. She was good. She made a decision out of desire, not out of desperation because the family, read the text.

They asked her, do you want to go? Are you willing to go? She said, I am. She said, I'm choosing him because I love him. Not because I need family. I know some of the things I said today may have been humorous, but the content is serious. I have seen nothing break people like this. I have seen people bury their parents and not shed a tear. And I've seen somebody with a broken heart, literally go to their knees. I've seen nothing break people like this. And in a church like ours, with such a large demographic of unmarried, it's irresponsible for us to let the devil just keep having his way in this area. And we not have some discussion about it.