Week 7 | More Heart Than Show?

All right, now we're gonna jump into this, the series we've been in for the last few weeks that's all about walking the Jesus way. Now, it was in 2008 that, if you remember, the housing market crashed in 2008. And so as home prices plummeted, Lindsey and I, we found ourselves in a townhome. And we just had our first kid. We were hoping that our family would expand a little bit. And so what we noticed when the housing prices came down is the gap between a townhome and a single-family home, the gap closed a little bit. We thought if there's ever gonna be a time to make the leap from a townhome to a single-family home, now might be the right time. And so we decided we would try to sell our townhome in 2008. Now, I don't know if you attempted to do anything like that, but nobody was buying homes in 2008. So we put our home on the market, we took all the beautiful pictures, and I'm telling you, nobody was looking at our house. I mean, weeks and weeks and weeks went by, not a single showing. Well, eventually we get to the Thanksgiving week, and we were headed out of town for Thanksgiving. We were heading out west to go see my family. And as you can imagine, when you're packing for a multiple-day trip out of state, and you've got a little one with you,

because our oldest son was like about one at the time, our house was just a disaster preparing for this trip. We had dishes in the sink, we had laundry everywhere, we had toys out everywhere, and we thought to ourselves, maybe we should clean up the house because maybe we'll get a showing. And then we thought, who are we kidding? Like, there hasn't been a showing in months, and so we thought, ah, let's not worry about the mess, let's just leave, and so we packed everything up, we got on a plane, we flew to California. And sure enough, the very next day, our realtor calls us and says, hey, I've got a showing tomorrow. And my heart just sunk, and I thought, not tomorrow. I was like, it's not possible for you to show our home. She said, what do you mean? I was like, well, we left town, and we left the house in absolute disaster. I mean, it's a mess everywhere, there's no way you can show our home. She said, Sean, you don't turn down a showing in this market. I'm like, I know, but I think I'm gonna have to turn down a showing in this market, I don't know what to tell you. She said, well, give me the word, and I'll go clean it for you. I'm like, all right, word given, that sounds amazing. And so she lets herself into our home, she cleans up our house for us, calls me the next day, says, Sean, you've got an offer.

I'm like, you've gotta be kidding me. I negotiated to sell my townhome for a Churro line at Disneyland, it was amazing. And so we sold our home, we related, we came home, and we walked through the door, and it really was impressive. I mean, there was not a, I mean, there was nothing out. We had left dishes and sink, laundry, I mean, there was nothing anywhere. It was beautifully cleaned, I couldn't believe it. So I went over to the dishwasher to see if I could unload the dishes that she had obviously cleaned to put in the dishwasher. There were no dishes in the dishwasher. I thought, well, where did she put the dishes? And then when I went to the laundry room to find all the dirty laundry that she certainly put in the baskets in the laundry room, there was no laundry in the laundry baskets. Where'd she put the laundry? And so eventually we started opening up cabinets in the kitchen, and that's where everything was. Dirty dishes in the cabinets, laundry in the cabinets, kids' toys in the, fast food wrappers just in the cabinets. She didn't clean our home. She just hid the mess, right? Now I can laugh about that looking back at it, but the truth is, sometimes we do the same thing spiritually. That we make things look really, really good on the outside, but really, we've just hidden the mess.

We just put the dirty dishes in the cabinet. And so Jesus goes after this because he really wants people walking the Jesus way in a genuine way. And so Jesus, when you get to Matthew chapter six, he calls out what I would describe as religious hypocrisy. Now what's interesting is the first person to call out religious hypocrisy wasn't an atheist. It wasn't an unbeliever. It was Jesus. He calls it out because he wants his people to walk very genuinely in a relationship with God. And so when you start leaning into Jesus' teaching in Matthew chapter six, I think the first principle that you're gonna note is this. I think he'll challenge us to be people that stop performing for the crowd. So here it is, Matthew chapter six, verse one, Jesus says this. He says, be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you'll have no reward from your father in heaven. And so the directive is. Pretty clear. When it comes to the good works and the good things that you do for your good God, just make sure you don't do these good works for your good God in a performative way in front of others. So he says, like, don't do the good works in front of others.

Now, that feels fairly clear, doesn't it? And yet, if you've been tracking with us throughout this series, that feels like that statement is in direct contradiction to something Jesus said one chapter previous. Do you remember this from chapter five in Matthew? It says, let your light shine before others that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. I mean, Jesus, what's up with that? It feels like here you're saying, I want you to do good works, just don't do it so others can see it. And it feels like here you're saying, do good works, but make sure everybody sees it. Jesus, what gives? I mean, what are we supposed to do? Now, notice both these passages highlight good works. Both of these passages highlight good works in front of other people. The difference between the passage is the motive that drives it. In other words, in chapter five, he says, I want you to do good works if it brings glory to God. I want you to do good works if it points people to God. But in chapter six, he says, I don't want you to do good works if the attention's on yourself. And so maybe here's a couple questions we can rest with. I'd say the Matthew chapter five question is,

are people seeing God through my good works? Because that'd be really positive. But I think the chapter six question would be, but are people applauding me for my religious performance? And that's what Jesus is gonna challenge. And so the issue is not the good works. The issue is not doing good things for people to see it. Visibility is not the issue. Our motives and our heart are the issue. And so Jesus launches into three examples to kind of illustrate his point. So he says this in Matthew six, verse two. He says, so when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets. To be honored by others, truly I tell you, they've received the reward in full. Now, here's what Jesus is getting at. This would have been common practice back in the ancient world. When people gave, oftentimes they would give in a synagogue. Sometimes they would give in other places. And oftentimes religious gifts did go to serve those in need. And so Jesus is not challenging the giving. Like giving is a good thing. You should do that. It's just the how we give and the why we give that really matters. And so if somebody were to give in the ancient world in a synagogue, what would often happen

is they gave in this contraption that looked like a ram's horn. And they did it because it had a larger opening at the top that you could put the gift in and a smaller opening at the bottom so it prevented theft, right? Now, the challenge with this way to give is it was very noisy as you threw a coin inside of the ram's horn. And so if I had a gift of just one coin, I might go to it, I would throw the coin in it and go, clink, clink, clink, clink, all the way down. But if I had a bag full of coins, I mean, I could come and put it in and you could just hear it for miles, like clink, clink, clink, clink, right? Sounded like a, I don't know, like a slop machine that was going off type of thing. And so Jesus says, oftentimes people are giving for show. They're showing up and they're giving in such a way that would draw the attention of everybody around you. And Jesus is challenging that and saying, don't make noise with your giving. Now, thankfully, we don't give in the same way anymore, right? Giving online is a lot more silent than giving in a ram's horn. But again, what Jesus is challenging is our heart. I remember a few years back, I was out to dinner with some friends.

I can't remember the occasion. Maybe we were celebrating somebody's birthday or something like that. And so we were around the table and toward the end of the meal, I excused myself to use the restroom. But while I was up, I went and found the waiter and I gave him my credit card. I said, I want you to take care of the whole table for me. And then I just went back and sat down. Now, I was waiting for the moment where the waiter would come back and he would call me by my father's name because he saw it on the credit card. He'd come back and he'd say, Mr. Williams has generously taken care of the entire table. And I just imagined that everybody would go, oh, Sean, how gracious you are. I mean, I didn't expect that. That is so mighty generous of you. And I'd be like, oh, it's nothing. No big deal, right? So that's how I would imagine this thing play out. But then the waiter came back and he said to the table. Well, somebody has taken care of your meal. I was like, somebody? What happened to the Mr. Williams is taking care of your meal? He said, somebody has taken care of your meal. And so all my friends, they got pretty excited,

like that's pretty cool. And then they're looking around the restaurant to figure out like who did it? And they were looking right past my smiley face to find whoever the generous couple was in the room. And I shared that story because it exposes sometimes the motives of our heart, right, that sometimes we're not doing it just out of the generosity of our hearts. Sometimes we're actually doing it for the praise and the applause of others. And Jesus says, don't give in a noisy way. Give it away out of the abundance and the overflow of what God has given you. He gives another example. He says this. He says, and when you pray, don't be like the hypocrites. They love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly, I tell you, they've received the reward in full. So Jesus goes after another common practice. Again, because in the ancient world, particularly in Jerusalem and those types of areas, you would have been a person of influence if you had religious status. And so to do things in very religious ways would have gained you followers on Instagram, right? It was kind of the old version of gaining influence and gaining authority and from a religious perspective. So people tried to look as religious

as they possibly could. And so when they would pray, they would go out on the street corners, they would raise their hands, they would shout to God, they would draw attention. It wasn't a prayer that was trying to connect their heart to God. It was a prayer that was prayed to try to gain the applause and the influence that would come from other people. And Jesus says, don't do that. Because it's kind of like just hiding your dirty dishes in a cabinet. It's about putting on a front on the outside without a true genuine connection to God on the inside. Now, I would assume most of us probably don't do this very thing. We don't go out on a street corner and raise our hands and make a big commotion when we pray. But if you've ever been in a corporate setting, in a group setting where a prayer happens, sometimes we'll play to the audience around us, right? I've been in certain groups where somebody will pray a prayer, they will use religious words that I didn't even know what they meant when they spoke it, right? And sometimes you'll hear people pray a prayer, they're like, oh God, to the Lord most high, I beseech thee, and you're like, what does that even mean when we pray?

It's not about gaining the attention or the approval of people around us that they think that we're very spiritual and religious. Prayer is designed to connect our hearts to God in a meaningful way. I've been around prayer circles where people aren't praying to God, they're actually speaking words to somebody around the group disguised as a prayer to God. Like, God, can you help Mary be on time next time to group? Sometimes we even use prayer as these passive-aggressive approaches instead of having real conversations with people. That's the kind of thing that Jesus is saying, your heart really matters, why do we do what we do? And so Jesus says, I don't want you to participate in spiritual things just to do the spiritual thing. I want your heart to be in the right place to connect with God. He gives us a third example. He says this, and when you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigured their faces to show others that they're fasting. Truly, I tell you, they've received their reward in full. And so again, in the ancient world, they would practice fasting, basically going without food, sometimes for days on end. Now, if their physical appearance hadn't shown their lack of food,

then they would literally disfigure their faces to show others that they're fasting. Literally like disfigure their faces, mess up their hair, make themselves not appear well so that people go, oh man, you must be fasting. I mean, you must be like 30 days in. That's impressive, right? Now again, we might not do that kind of thing anymore. Maybe some of us have never even experienced a fast before, but I think the principle applies literally to every imaginable spiritual practice. When we serve, are we serving for the approval of people or for the glory of God? When we worship, are we worshiping for the approval of those around us or for the glory of God? When I preach a message, am I trying to get people to like me or am I trying to teach the good things of God? Is it about his glory or mine? And I think that This causes us to pause and just check our hearts and check our motives. It's not about the visibility, but it's certainly about my motivation. Now notice in each one of these examples, Jesus calls them hypocrites. Now that word obviously means something in today terms. In the ancient world, it literally was a reference to a stage actor. They had these masks that they would use

that they would put on a face to be a certain character. So Jesus is playing off of that. He said, I don't want you to be the people they just put on a face. I want you to be people who are genuine from the inside out. Dallas Willer gets at why this matters so much. Here's a quote from Dallas Willer. He says, they wanted people to recognize their good deeds and people did. But notice what happened as a response. The ego is bloated and the soul shrivels. Wow. I mean, that's a statement. And why is that true? Maybe think of it this way. I think sometimes when we play to the audience of others, when we play to the approval of others, what we're trying to do is to gain more and more influence. Now, influence is not bad. Influence actually can be really, really good. As somebody with a lot of influence or a great platform can actually do great things for the kingdom of God. There's nothing wrong with the influence. However, if we're concerned more on the outside than we are on the inside, we're setting ourselves up for a difficult fall. Because the ego gets bloated, the soul shrivels when it's not taken care of. And so I would say this. Sometimes we'll talk to young people

and young people will say out loud, but what do you want to be when you grow up? And they'll say, I want to be an influencer. That's not a bad thing. Again, you can leverage influence for the glory of God in incredible ways. But young people, please hear me in this. If you care more about growing your platform than you do about growing your character, your platform will eventually unwire your character. You've got to be, you've got to care about what's going on in here. And so I don't know how many times we need to see somebody rise in influence or rise in authority to only come crashing down before we start asking the question, why is that happening? And I'm just convinced that if our growth of our platform outpaces the growth of our character, the growth of our platform will unwire our character. Christine Cain, she says it this way. She's so good with words. She says this. She said, the light on you becomes greater than the light in you. The light on you will extinguish the light in you. And so that's what Jesus is getting at. He goes, I care about your heart. And all these exterior things, they do matter. They can be used for God's good.

But never at the expense of your heart. Like never at the expense of your soul. So we have to be people that stop performing for the crowd. I think Jesus would then say this next. And so he kind of challenged it. We're gonna stop doing one thing. What do we start doing? So I think he'd say, Because when we practice in secret, it's not about performance. It's about connection. And so he gives us the same three examples. And so let's go back to verse three and four. He says, So that your giving may be in secret. Then your father who sees what is done in secret will reward you. Now notice what he says. He says, In other words, not if you give, but when you give. And so if we find ourselves a little bit more performative in doing things for the sake of somebody else instead of for the glory of God, the answer is not to stop doing the religious practice. It's just to reorient how we participate in the religious practice. Because the assumption is that we will still be people who are giving people. So when you give, he says, Don't let the left hand know what the right hand is doing.

Now, I don't know how you do that, Jesus. You know, how do you do something that your left hand is like, Hey, don't let you know the right. I mean, it doesn't make a lot of sense, right? Jesus is obviously using a play on words. It's not something that's like literally possible. But what he is saying is this, that if we become people who don't give in performative types of ways, when we give from a genuine place of God who has transformed my life, that I want to be about helping whoever it is that God brings into my life. I don't even think about it. When my life becomes really connected to God, I give out of the overflow what God's done for me. I don't even really think much about. I mean, some of the most generous people I know, they don't give to get their name put on a building. They don't give to get their name on a plaque. Oftentimes, they don't even think about what they're doing as generous, because it's just an overflow of who they are. They're kind of the people that are like, my left hand doesn't know what my right hand is doing, because I'm not even thinking about it in those types of terms. They're just genuinely connected, genuine people. And what happens when we give anonymously,

it actually is a character-forming experience where it just becomes more a part of who we are. He extends the example to prayer as well. He says this, but when you pray, again, not if, but when you pray, go into your room, close the door, pray to the Father who's unseen, then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. Again, this same kind of idea applies, that when you take performance out of the equation, it's amazing how connected prayer can make us toward God. When I'm not having to worry about the words that I speak and to impress others around me, I can actually just devote my attention toward God himself. And so that's why Jesus says, go pray in secret, because the moment you take the performance out of the equation, in the secret, God connects with us. He meets with us. He forms us from the inside out. He says the same thing with fasting. He says, so when you fast, put oil on your head, wash your face, so it will not be obvious to others that you're fasting, but only to your Father who is unseen, and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you. Again, not if, but when. And so it's the exact opposite of what he was challenging. Some were disfiguring their faces, making their hair look messy,

so that people would be so impressed that they were fasting. Jesus says, do the opposite. Really make your appearance so well kept that nobody would know that a fast is taking place. Because there's something about when it's done in the secret that it's incredibly forming of our own heart. I mean, I think about a moment a couple years ago, we were in a particularly hard season as a church, and I remember deciding I was gonna do a fast, and I told nobody about it. Nobody on staff, I didn't tell my wife about it, just was kind of going about it. And as I went about it, there was something that shifted in my own heart. It wasn't dramatic. It wasn't like a massive seismic shift, but there was something that shifted in me that allowed me to just experience God's presence in a very tangible way, maybe in a way that I needed so desperately in a season that my soul felt dry. What fasting did is it just opened my heart to who God was. It allowed my soul to quiet down. It allowed me to receive from Him in a meaningful way. And those are the things that we miss when our motive is more about the perception of others instead of the glory of God. Ironically, I just told you about the fast, so maybe I just got my reward, right? But you get Jesus' heart.

You know, Jesus' heart is about when you do the things in the secret, that's where the formation takes place. And then we will get to see this last principle, I would say this, you get to see the kingdom unfold. And I think this is the beautiful thing in it. Three different times, Jesus used these three different examples, it's the same principle every single time, but notice how each one of the examples ends. Matthew 6, chapter six, verse four, this is after the giving piece, it says, your father who sees what is done in secret, he will reward you. Couple verses later, exact same verse. Couple verses later, exact same verse. And so Jesus is pretty emphatic about when we go to the secret, when we're willing to not play to the crowd, it says, your father will reward you. Now, what's the reward? I don't know. I wish I knew, but maybe that's intentional. Because if Jesus told you what the reward was, hey, do these things, I'll give you a brand new car. Or hey, do these things and I'll give you success. If he told you what the reward was, there's a chance we would do it for the reward and not for him. And so I don't know what the reward is,

but can I take a risk and tell you what I think it is? I was reminded of this principle just a couple days ago. We had some good friends over at our house just on Friday night. These friends have this two-year-old. about to turn three-year-old, she is the cutest little thing you've ever seen in your entire life. Now, I don't know if you've spent much time around little kids, but I think that all little kids are the same in this way. That little kids, they love to have the attention of their parents. And so they'll be in a moment, they'll be doing something, they'll be like, mama, look! Or dad, watch! And it can be about anything. It'd be like, I'm gonna do a cartwheel. Watch me do the cartwheel. Or I'm gonna ride my bike. Watch me ride my bike. Or I'm gonna do this. You know, watch, watch, watch. And what's interesting in that moment, the child's not looking for a reward that's a car or a new toy or some sort of monetary kind of expression. What's the reward that the child's looking for? They're wanting their parents to put down their phone,

to pay attention to lock into them. And then when they do the thing, they go, wow! That was amazing, right? That was so incredible. And the moment you go, wow, this is amazing, their face lights up. That's the reward. It's actually the presence, the attention, the approval of their father. I wonder if that's what the reward is. Because when we do the things of God for the audience of only God, I wonder if what we receive, what the reward is, is the reward is Him. Like the reward is a relationship with Him. The reward is that we get to see Him at work in all kinds of ways that maybe we didn't think possible. I mean, I think back to one of the things that Jesus said in Matthew chapter five is how He started the Sermon on the Mount. You remember this place called the Beatitudes? Remember one of the Beatitudes where blessed are the pure in heart? So again, that's all that Jesus is talking about in Matthew chapter six is you're pure in heart. There's integrity, that I care more about this connected relationship with God. It's not about what's on the outside, it's about what's on the inside. And so He says, blessed are the pure in heart, for why?

For they will what? They will see God. I wonder if that's the reward. The reward is God, the reward is seeing God show up in maybe ways that I previously missed Him. Because the truth is, if I live my life in a performative way, because I care all about what other people think, I will actually miss seeing God. Because I'm not even thinking about like what God thinks about it and really what God cares. And I end up caring about the applause of people and I actually end up missing the heart of God Himself. But when we find ourselves in a place of integrity, being willing to do things in secret even out of the view of others, we find ourselves in a more deeply connected relationship with God. What's interesting is not only will you get God, you'll start seeing Him in ways that maybe you've never seen Him before. Here's a couple of examples. I think you'll see God in answered prayers. I think you'll see God in changed circumstances. I think you'll see God in transformed relationships. I think you'll see God in ordinary conversations. I think you'll see God in unexpected provision because blessed are the pure in heart because they see God. I don't know about you,

but it's an amazing reward to think about a life that's deeply connected to God and a life that sees God at work everywhere around us. It's almost like that two to three year old kid who does the thing, whatever the thing is, and they just have their father or their mother just with a beaming smile, so incredibly proud of who they are. I think the same is true for you. You have a heavenly father that sees you. That cares for you. That's proud of you. There's something about the purity of heart that allows us to see Him and see Him at work all around us. Maybe I'm gonna take us back to where this conversation started. And I think about settling in my home and my realtor, not really cleaning the house, but hiding the mess. And maybe I ask your life, but also mine, where have I not allowed God to clean my house? because I've settled for just hiding the mess. I think God wants to meet you there. I think that God wants to speak to you there. I think that God wants to develop a connected relationship with you. So maybe we challenge you in a very practical way this week. I just want to give you a couple of challenges this week to make this as practical as I know how. I would challenge all of us this week to, at some point, give something away anonymously, like nobody knows. It could be anything. It could be a neighbor you know who has a need.

It could be a homeless person that you come across. But I would encourage you, whatever it is, open your eyes, see it in a way that God might want you to respond in a way that you could give something to somebody at some point. Do it and don't tell anybody about it. Just see how it will shape your heart. I would challenge you to do this this week. I would challenge you every single day this week. Carve out 10 to 15 minutes. Find a place in your house where nobody's at or get to the office early or whatever it looks like in your journey. Carve out 10 to 15 minutes and just simply pray in private. Again, when you take performance out of the equation, it's amazing how you'll find that God will meet you in that moment. And maybe the third challenge, I want to challenge you to try a fast. I realize that maybe for many of us, we've never even done a fast. We don't even fully know what that means. There's lots of ways you can do it. Maybe you choose to fast from food for 24 hours. Maybe you choose to fast from lunch every day this week. Maybe you choose to fast from social media. I don't know what it is. Fasting is just when you choose to go without something that you typically find yourself pretty dependent on. And the moment I say no to the thing that I'm often dependent on, it heightens my dependence on God himself. I would encourage you just to try it. See how God might meet you in that fast. Let us be people who choose integrity over image. Let us be people who choose heart over show. It's not just about hiding the mess. It's about allowing God to clean us from the inside out. Father, that's our prayer. God, it's that we would be people who not just walk the Jesus way, but we genuinely walk the Jesus way. Father, I found this passage to be incredibly convicting and very challenging on so many levels.

I think for some of us who are on staff and we, in some ways, we're like professional Christians, God, it's so easy to do things for you for the view of others. So, Father, I just ask that you would reorient our hearts, that we wouldn't stop doing these spiritual practices, but we would start doing them at times more privately so that you would do your great work in us long before you choose to do the work through us. God, we love you. We say thanks for Jesus. In his name we pray. Amen.