Victory Over Anger

The most dangerous emotion of them all is anger. Any emotions that we have, but the most dangerous of all, is anger. One of the things about anger is this, it's like a boomerang. You can throw it out there, but it is coming back because people who are angry are not just angry at somebody at a distance without paying a price themselves, that's just the very nature of it. Oftentimes, a person will say, "Well, this is the way God made me." No, God didn't make you angry, or somebody will say, "Well, I was born with a short fuse." Well, you may have been born with some things, but that's not one of them. You didn't have a short fuse. God doesn't make short fuse, babies. We're not born that way. You have to deal with your anger and excuse it and blame it on somebody else doesn't work. I would simply ask you a question. Are you an angry person? Do you live in an angry family? Do you work around angry people? Would you consider your boss being angry, or maybe some of your friends, or maybe even go to a church when the pastor is angry? In other words, where does anger fit in your life? That's a destructive emotion. And I want us to look to see what the Word of God says about it, and also, how do you overcome it? So I want you to turn if you will to the fourth chapter of Ephesians, and Paul deals with it here in a beautiful way, and there are some very specific steps a person can deal with to overcome anger in their life, or whatever the cause might be. So look if you will, beginning in verse 31, we'll come back to this chapter in a moment, but look in verse 31 of Ephesians chapter 4. The Scripture says, "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slend to be

put away from you along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God and Christ is also forgiven you. Look at the awesome contrast in those two verses. And also notice, if you will, the traveling companions with anger. Look at this, bitterness, wrath, clamor, and slander, and malice. All of these are traveling companions with anger. They all work together, devastating a person mentally, spiritually, and physically. And I want you to see in this passage and in the whole message how in every one of these messages on emotions that our physical being is greatly affected. And probably the one that affects it most of all is anger. And so when you look at this passage and you see the contrast, on the other hand, be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, even as the Lord Jesus Christ has forgiven us. And if you go back to Proverbs chapter 22, and looking at what the Scripture says here, go clearly in this 22nd chapter, and look, if you will, in the 24th verse. This is what God says about anger, and about the angry person. He says, "Do not associate with a man given to anger, or go with a hot, temperate man, or you will learn his ways and find the, watch this and find the snare for yourself." You know what happens? Anger creates anger. If you are not married and you are dating somebody, mark that one down. Don't go with a hot, temperate man. He may be handsome, he may drive the finest automobile, he may have lots of money, but if he's hot, temperate, he's dangerous. And notice what he says, "Or watch this, or you will learn his ways and find the snare for yourself." That's a very specific, clear warning of the Word of God, not to relate, not to get involved with an angry person, because it's a disaster waiting to happen, because they did transfer it.

Now, I want us to look at this passage, and I want us to notice here how clear the Bible is about those things that go along with anger. So I want to give you a definition of anger. I could define it much shorter, but I want to give you a long one because it tells you what anger is all about. Look at this. It is a strong feeling of intense displeasure. Somebody is unhappy. Hostility, indignation, as a result, what's this now of a real or an imagined threat, isn't it meant to be real insult, frustration or injustice toward yourself or others important to you. Look at that, a strong, intense feeling of displeasure, hostility, indignation, as a result of a real or maybe an imagined thing that you heard is something that you heard about yourself, a threat or is an insult, frustration or injustice toward yourself or others important to you. That's what anger is all about. That's why it is absolutely so disastrous. And when a person says, well, you know, I'm angry, but I'm not hurting anybody but myself. Oh, yes, you are. Now, there are a couple of verses that I know always on people's minds. Well, what about God's anger? And what about the Bible says here in this in this particular passage in the fourth chapter of Ephesians when he says verse 26, be angry and yet do not sin. Do not let the sun go down your anger. Do not give your I give the devil an opportunity. So when he says, be angry and sin not.

So does that mean that there's good anger and bad anger? Yes, there is. So let's talk about what good anger is about for a moment. So the Bible doesn't say don't get angry. He says, don't go to bed with it. Don't let the sun go down on it, which simply means listen, don't go to bed at night with anger in your heart. Somebody says, well, I'm going to sleep it off. No, you're going to sleep it in. Because your subconscious, when you go to bed with anger in your mind, your subconscious takes that and works that anger all night long, working in your system. And you think you're going to wake up feeling fantastic and that you're going to be be kind one to another, tend the heart of the giving each other, though, because your subconscious takes that drives in and into your life. And that's why he says, don't go to bed with it. Don't let the sun go down on it. Don't put your head on a pillow if there's anger in your life because God is warning us of what it does. Now, there is a form of anger that's good, the form of anger that expresses itself against those who are mistreating somebody else. Do you get that? Those is anger toward those who are mistreating somebody else. That's legitimate. That's a good anger because it needs to be corrected. And so that kind of anger is controlled. That kind of anger has a purpose and that kind of anger is justifiable. It's never selfish.

For example, Jesus, he was getting rid of the heel of this man and he looked around and he knew the Pharisees and Sadducees getting rid of accused him. And so the Scripture says, after looking around at them with anger, Jesus got angry, looking around at them with anger grieved at their hardness of heart. Now, what was angry about? He wasn't angry about them doing to him. He was angered because of their attitude toward this man. He was given to get healed on the Sabbath and they couldn't stand it. So he was angry and then 490 times in the Old Testament, the Bible says that God is angry about something. But God's anger was always righteous indignation. Righteous indignation is anger toward those things that God would be angry about if he went that situation. You know, that's right. Anger is God's anger. It's righteous indignation. And so how do we determine, for example, if our anger is sinful or not? We said, that's good anger. How do we determine it? So I'll give you several things to think about. Yes, give yourself several questions. Number one, is my anger directed toward a person? Is my anger directed toward a person? Secondly, is it without a justifiable cause? Am I angry just because somebody hurt my feelings or said something or did something I didn't like?

Is it justifiable cause? No, does that anger seek to do harm to the other person, to another person? Then that's a whole different story. And then if it's the wrong kind of anger, it's the kind of anger, it's I'm going to hold tightly, not giving it up, no matter what. And so also, you have to ask, is my anger the kind that has developed an unforgiving spirit? All of those are bad. So how do people usually handle their anger? They just explode well and they just have this fit and then they quieten down and they act like everything's fine because you've gotten out of their system. The other person is like a. Their whole emotional being is being tainted and ultimately destroyed. Before long, we'll talk about the consequences. They can't love anybody. They can't get along with anybody. They can't tell you why, because they won't deal with anger. And they may be able to trace their anger all the way back to their father mother and say, "Well, I'm the way I am because of us and so." Listen, all of us could go back and find something that somebody told us or we saw that didn't help us any. The truth is, we are responsible for discovering what's there that's causing us to act the way we act. You can't shove responsibility for actions on somebody else. That was making it as who they are and what they did. Well, they did nothing so. Okay, so they did, so what do we do about it? Let's just think about one of the consequences of being angry. Well, first of all, your relationship to God is not right. You cannot be angry toward others and be right with God. When He says, "Put it off, lay it down, lay it aside." Can't be right with God and angry at someone else. Even though you can give me 25 reasons for being angry, the truth is 25 reasons why you want to deal with it. So what happens? Your relationship to God is not right. When you're angry with another person, your relationship with them is not going to be right. Especially is that true in a marriage. When one person is angry, both of them are angry. Because when it's bad anger, it's all about me. Because you see, anger says, "I want control, and I will control by throwing a fit, or by doing something else that is ungodly." And so there's a critical spirit that develops in a person who is angry. And you know, you know people who are angry. That's who they are, which you don't want to be around them. And when the Bible says, "Don't even associate with an angry person." Because an angry person is a foolish person. He says, "It resides, anger resides in the bosom of a fool." That's a strong language for God to say about a person who's angry. Why? Because God wants us to see how devastating it is in a person's life. You cannot live with anger and be a healthy person. You cannot. And many people, for example, who are depressed, they're angry about something, something that happened in the past. They can't get over it. They hold to it. They nourish it. They nurse it. It's part of them. But it's also a destructive part of them.

And so when you think of physically, think about it, for example. A person who is very, very angry and who lives for that anger is subject to a heart attack. It would be interesting in the medical profession could tell you probably some statistics. How many people have heart attacks in a fit of anger? Or at the end of an angry period. That blood pressure is going up. I wonder how many people are on blood pressure medicine because of something that's going on in their life. And what happens? Everything in your body gets tense. When your body is tense and your vessels are tense. You can't function. The physical body was not made to function in tight stress and anger and hostility and bitterness and all the rest. There's no way. So they have strokes. I'm not saying that everybody who has a heart attack or has a stroke is full of anger. But one thing I know for sure that these things are caused. One of the primary reasons is that they're caused as a result of anger. And so the issue is it's a devastating, ungodly attitude about which God says it makes a man or a woman a fool. Anger abides in the bosom of a fool. Therefore it is ungodly. It is unChristlike. It is unproductive. And it's unhealthy. And it's costly. And it can destroy you. Now tell me one good thing why you should allow yourself to be angry cannot. So how do we deal with it? So I'm going to give you a list of nine ways to deal with it because all of them are important. The first one is this. You got to identify it. You want to get rid of the anger because you see somebody you may be sitting ahead and saying. Then you have to identify it. If you're going to deal with it, you've got to identify it, ask yourself the question. What is the source of my anger? In other words, do I look at my family and say it's my husband, my wife, my children? Is it my finances? Is it my job? Or watch this. Is it something that happened back down in the past that I've never dealt with? You were hurt back there. Maybe you were younger. Maybe it was in your marriage. But somewhere back down in the past, you were deeply hurt. You didn't deal with it. And that's been seething there all along. So if you're going to deal with anger, you have to be willing to look back. Look around, but look back and ask yourself the question. What is it that I'm angry about? Am I angry at God? Somebody said to me one time, they said, "At first, I thought I was angry at you."

Well, then I decided I was angry at God. And then I decided the truth was, no, it's over a period of time they came to this conclusion. Then I finally decided I was angry with myself. Well, let me ask you a question. Have foolishness to be angry with God. You know, he could snap you out just like that. You're angry at God, who sent his son to the cross, to die for your sins, who keeps your heart beating every day. Every good thing that comes your ways from him, and even some of the bad things that come your way, he turns them to good and you're angry at God. You have to identify who and what is it that I'm angry at. Am I angry against some institution? It doesn't make a difference. What it is, you have to identify. What is it that I'm angry about? Secondly, you have to be when they confess it. That is, yes, I am angry. I'm not going to stuff it any longer. I'm not going to deny it any longer. I'm not going to push it aside. I'm not going to cover it up. I'm going to be willing to acknowledge it. And in the process, ask yourself the question, why am I angry? Why am I angry? Whatever the reason is, why am I still angry? I'm the one paying the price. Why am I still angry? The third thing is this, clarify your feelings. In other words, what am I feeling in this anger? I admit that I am.

Ask myself the question, why am I angry? So, what are my feelings in this? Is it that I feel hurt? Do I feel rejected? You may say all these things. Do I feel getting involved in something that I think I should? Am I angry about that? Why don't I have the capacity to do these things? Do I have needs that are unmet? You have to purposely deal with it. If you're going to overcome anger, purposely deal with it quickly. Well, first of all, just what we said, identify, confessing, clarify your feelings. What's this all about? If you don't, you see, if you feel, watch this, and this is a terrible feeling somebody have, if you feel angry and you don't know what it is, that's just frustration. It creates anxiety. It creates a hostile feeling in your own heart. You're angry with yourself, bitter with yourself. Why am I this way? What's going on in my life? And so, when you start getting honest, you have to be totally honest. Well, I mean, that certainly couldn't be true, but it may be true. And so, if I'm going to deal with it, I need to deal with it. Watch this quickly because the longer I hold to it, the more I will justify its presence and defend it and the more disastrous it'll be. And one thing I'd make a suggestion, which is the next thing on my list here, that is take an emotional time out. And one of the best ways to do that is think about this. Let me ask you this. We all know what a big stop red stop sign looks like, amen?

Come on, amen? No stop sign looks like. All right, if you want to prevent yourself from getting angry about something, when somebody wrongs you or says something, you think they said or whatever it might be, that before you react, you think about that big red stop sign. Stop and do what? You stop and you think about it, remember what the Bible says? Quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger. Quick to listen to it, slow to speak, slow to anger. Because God doesn't want us living as angry people. We represent Him. And so, the next thing I'd say is what He says in this passage, put it away. sun go down on your anger. Do not give the devil, for example, don't give him a place, and he's let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamons lend be put away from you." What do you mean put it away? Well, for example, this morning I got up and I didn't have this coat on. So I decided to put it on, so I've been wearing it. Now, how do I put it, take it off? I just take it off the way I got it off. So, if I'm going to get rid of anger, here's what he says, take it off, strip it away, put it down. He says, "Well, listen, I can't put that down. If you could not, it wouldn't be in the Bible. By the power of the Holy Spirit who lives within you, he will enable you and empower you to say, "God, I forgive them. I don't want that in my life anymore, Lord. It's hurt me, it's damaged me. It's hurt me deeply. And Lord, I lay it down. I lay down my anger toward that person." You say, "Well, suppose they do it again. You lay it down again. How do I know that can work?" Because I saw and lived with my mom, who laid it down day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year, until the man to him she was married became blind and couldn't do anything for himself. And all of a sudden it's all that too changed. You can lay it down. And sometimes I simply say that to say, "You can lay it down again and again." But primarily, when it first hits you, lay it down right then. You can lay it down. If you watch this, if you don't, watch this carefully. You play into the hands of the person who wants to hurt you. They can get you angry and get that anger

in you. You know what they're doing? They've won the battle to some degree. Now they're suffering too, but now they have you suffering. So remember that passage here in Ephesians 6, "Put on the whole arm of God." And I had this little soldier that somebody sent me a long, long time ago in Sephrain, and I had it on table beside my bed. So when I wake up in the morning, I'm reminded. And I put it on this way. I know the Bible says it another way, but I think this way. "Put on the helmet of salvation to protect my thinking. Breastplate of righteousness to protect my emotions. The girdle of truth so that I'll know how to respond in truth, feet sharp in the preparation of the gospel of peace, ready to share the gospel, the sword of the Spirit, and above all, taking the shield of faith." Now that was not a round shield. That shield in the Greek is the same word for door, which meant it was one of those shields that was about like this that could be, that could cover a person totally. And so what is he saying in that passage? He said to be properly addressed, "Get dressed, because you're going to be in a battle." And I think when we get up every morning, you and I do not know what we're going to face. And it may be that you work around somebody that's just very difficult to deal with because they're just angry persons. Now you can't tell them they're angry because they don't know it yet. What you can do is to pray for them for God to show them in some fashion that they're angry. But we're talking about how you and I deal with it. Put it away. Ask God to strip it off. It doesn't fit. Let me ask you a question. Does bad anger fit a believer? No. This hurts our testimony. Therefore, because it doesn't fit us, it's not the will of God. And he says in the Bible, "In the wisdom of a fool, I can take it off of the Spirit of God within me. I can lay it down no matter what they've done." You can, but you have to choose to. Somebody says, "Well, but wait a minute now. If I don't retaliate, they're getting away with it." Don't you know God knows what they did? Nobody gets away with anything with him. Listen, it's not in your hands and mind to retaliate and to be sure somebody gets punished for something. That only creates problems. We leave them to God. Let me tell you something. I'd much rather somebody get me than God. He knows how to really place the thorn where it belongs. Then likewise, replace it. And when we say get rid of it and replace it, let's say you get angry. I would say to a lady, your husband makes you angry about something and you just don't know what you're going to do and you just have enough fit. Go clean out that old closet that you've been avoiding to clean out for months. Get in that. You know what happens?

You're going to have your hands and you're working. You're getting something done. Go wash your car. Do something to get you out of that mood. You don't have to respond in bitterness and resentment and hostility and anger. You don't have to. Do something that's good. I can think of times that I've been angry years ago. I just got into my dark room, closed the door, nobody but me and God, and worked a half a day or something developing my photos. And you know what the time I got out of that, you'd have thought I'd been in paradise. I was so relaxed. Then determine in your own mind, you're going to benefit from it. In other words, if you hit one of those situations, don't let it go by and say, "How can I benefit from this?" Well, one way you can benefit from it is this, you say, "Well, Lord, just help me to be able to realize that when I'm angry, there's something wrong. If I'm angry, there's something wrong, so therefore, it's up to me to deal with that anger in my heart and nobody else knows what else does or not." Then purpose in your heart, that you, listen, purpose in your heart, that you'll prevent that from being occurring again. You just want to let yourself get entangled in all that anger. In other words, you can make a decision, "Lord, I don't want to be a person who wears their feelings on this sleeve. I want to be a person who demonstrates God in this righteousness, love, and kindness, and peace, and understanding, and forgiveness." If I learned that lesson and purpose in my heart to respond that way, then you may be sitting here this morning thinking, "He doesn't know my situation, no, I don't," but let me ask a question. Name me a situation in which it is not right to do the things that I've talked about. You can't. Acknowledge it, deal with it, lay it down, wash your hands of it, God will enable you to

do that, and walk on in your life, not allowing yourself, listen, it's a form of suicide. You kill yourself at the end of time by allowing anger to conquer you in your life. Well, you may not be a Christian, and you are saying, "Well, how can I deal with that?" You won't do very well at it, but the simple reason it takes Jesus and the power of God within you to be able to forgive and to enable yourself to walk away and strip away those things in your life that are destroying your life. It's not worth it, and if you wanted to ask him to forgive you of your sins and to clean you of the sin in your own life, and tell him that you are receiving Christ Jesus as your personal Savior and the Lord and Master of your life. Now, if you want him in your life, you want the best life possible, and that's a life that he gives. If you're willing to ask him, he's willing to give it to you, and to give you guidance in your life, and to help you overcome, you say, "I've got so much junk in my past and so much trash in my past and so much hurt and so much fate in my past." When he went to the cross, he took your sin dead in full. He paid you a sin dead in full. He started taking care of all that. All you have to do is let him handle it, and he'll handle it. You don't have the two choices. You can be miserable the rest of your life, or you can have a peace that passes all understanding. But if you're angry, you've got to deal with it. Father, how grateful we are that you are patient, and loving, and kind, and tender, and forgiving. Thank you that you'd have a lot of reasons to be angry with all of us, but you're not. And when we make mistakes a sin against you, you don't get angry with us. You know where we are. You know our hearts. You know what we choose to do. And so we thank you this morning for loving us enough to be gracious and kind and forgiving and very patient till we learn some lessons we probably should have learned a long time

ago. And this we pray in Jesus' name, amen. [MUSIC]