This Is Expensive || The Blueprint with Dr. Dharius Daniels

Welcome to the blueprint, incredibly excited about the opportunity to share around God's Word together. Here's what we believe. We believe the Bible is the blueprint of God's best. And here at this blue pen Bible study, we take the truth of Scripture. We build a bridge of contemporization to every day life. We believe Jesus does more than teach you how to die. He teaches you how to live all throughout his ministry. You see him talking about life, giving life, even using the word life to describe him. I am the way, the truth and the life he actually says. The thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy, but I've come that you might have life and have it to the full. So we're incredibly excited about the life giving ministry of God's Word. If you're here for the first time, super, super grateful man to have you with us and super excited about this conversation that we're going to have continuing a message that we started on Sunday. The message was called under the influence and I taught it for my New Jersey locations. For those of you who maybe hear the first time, my name is Pastor Dearest Davis and I lead a spiritual family called Change Church and we've got expressions. We've got locations in two in Atlanta, Georgia, and two in Ewing and Westampton, New Jersey. So we teach the truth of Scripture on Sunday and then we take a deeper dive, not into the same sermon, but the same subject matter on Wednesday. And I want to go right to the book of Genesis chapter number 27 to kind of read some information that I think is going to be incredibly important. Man, shout out to everybody. That's a part of our Change Church family, man. We love you. Shout out to everybody. That's not a part of Change Church. You're part of the Blueprint family and man, major shout out to our real life seminary

community. It is our fastest growing community. It's for people who realize God is enough but Sunday is not and you want to grow in your faith more deeply. You want to understand it more accurately. You want to defend it more effectively and you want to carry out your calling more impactfully. If that's you, what you need to do that, I'm sorry, I'm a pastor, it's probably not going to come just from Sunday school and it's not just going to come from YouTube University. You need a trusted, vetted, spiritual school, it's going to help you take lofty, complex concepts and to steal them down to help you apply them in everyday life. That's what the real life seminary community is about. If you're interested in learning more about that man, just tap into the URL online and we'll just, we'd be glad to have you as a part of it. Anyway, let's get to work. Genesis 2741 says Esau held a grudge against Jacob because of the blessing his father had given him. He said to himself, "The days of mourning for my father and near, then I'll kill my brother Jacob." When Rebecca was told what her older son Esau said, she sent for her younger son Jacob and said to him, "Your brother Esau is planning to avenge himself by killing you. Now then my son, do what I say, flee at once, go to my brother Laban in Huron, stay with him for a while until your brother's fury subsides, then your brother, when your brother is no longer angry with you and forgets what you did to him, I'll send word for you to come back from there. Why should I lose both of you in one day?" I want to talk from this subject family, here's what we're teaching tonight, this is expensive. Family, the essence of this past Sunday sermon can be captured in the following axiom, there are things about me that I can't see that are hurting me. Somebody just put yes, I just need us to agree with that, there are things about me that

I can't see that are hurting me. And we call these idiosyncrasies, these issues, we call these toxic traits. And this is actually a series of sermons I'm actually starting on Sunday, literally starting this Sunday. What's a toxic trait? A toxic trait is a reoccurring way of thinking, reacting and behaving that is formed by unexamined influences that operates below your awareness and it eventually leads to injury, embarrassment or incarceration. So a toxic trait is a reoccurring way of thinking, reacting and behaving that's formed by unexamined influences. It means we can be assigning toxic traits to our identity because we assume this is how we were born when we came into life when the truth of the matter is. This is how we were shaped as a result of some things we went through in life. Why? Because these unexamined influences operate below your awareness, and they eventually lead to injury. If they're undelred, toxic traits are going to lead to some sort of injury. If they're undelred, toxic traits leads to some sort of embarrassment. And if they're undelred, toxic traits leads to some sort of incarceration, maybe not physical incarceration or literal incarceration, but they lead to bondage. And on Sunday, we explored this toxic trait in the life of a woman named Rebecca in the Old Testament. And we looked at her in two chapters of her life. In chapter 24 of her life, she is kind, courteous, considerate, and courageous. In chapter 27 of her life, she's manipulative, insecure, controlling, and fearful. And this revelation about Rebecca is not just a revelation about Rebecca. This is a revelation about us. When we're looking at biblical characters in the Bible, we shouldn't just see what's going on with those characters. We should use those characters as a mirror to see if those characters are showing us something about ourselves. And if you will be honest, and I just believe I got some honest people

that are tapped in tonight, if you will be honest, we all have some chapter 27 in us. There are some chapters that expose things about us, to us, that we didn't see in previous chapters. Certain traits are only exposed in certain chapters of our lives. The Rebekah that showed up in chapter 24, and the Rebekah that showed up in chapter 27 are both Rebekah. Now I felt the unction on that. They are both Rebekah. Did you hear what I just said? They are both Rebekah. Because often what happens is people engage in, and we're about to re-examine what happened in chapter 27. But people engage in activity in chapter 27, and then they ultimately end up saying things like, "You know, that's not me. That's not reflective of who I am." Well, yes it is. It kind of is. It just means that's the you that shows up in that kind of chapter. So it could be true. Yeah, this is not me most of the time. This is not me generally speaking. But this is me when I hit a chapter 27 season. Like, okay, and in this series we're going to be exploring biblical characters whose toxic traits only show up in certain chapters. Sunday we're going to probably do some exploring with Abraham because he's got some toxic traits. Moses definitely has got some toxic traits. Samson has got some toxic traits. Like it's all in there. So here's the point that I'm making. The point that I'm making is that sometimes there are certain traits that are dormant. And when something is dormant, in certain religious, in certain kinds of Christian spaces, we confuse something being dormant with us being delivered. I'm delivered. No, you're just in chapter 24. But when you get into chapter 27, what comes out when you're under pressure? What comes out when you feel betrayed? What comes out when we feel wrong? What comes out when we feel underappreciated? What comes out when we feel that risk and vulnerable and in jeopardy? What comes out when we're tempted? Deliverance shouldn't be confused with dormant. Some things we call deliverance are actually absence of opportunity. You don't know if you're delivered until you have opportunity and you choose not to. This is true of Rebecca and it is true of us. And Rebecca's life teaches us that unaddressed toxic traits are expensive. This is expensive. Even when toxic traits, let's be intellectually honest, even when toxic traits get you what you want, they still cost more than you want to pay. Because let's be honest here, when we read Rebecca's narrative, like when we look at Rebecca's narrative in chapter 27, the toxic trait of being manipulative and controlling,

it got her what she wanted. She wanted Jacob, the younger twin to Esau. That's what she wanted. And so she misused her asset of innovation. That's a different conversation. She's an innovative woman, but she misuses the asset of innovation to deceive her husband, who's already struggling literally with physical asset, because if a strength is misused, then the strength becomes a weakness. Did you hear what I just said? Someone can have the gift of oration and the gift of gap. And you can use that gift of gap to persuade and influence people to do that, which is wholly helpful and gauntly, or that gift of gap can be used to exploit people, to abuse people, to manipulate people, the gift of gap, the ability to articulate thoughts persuasively can be used to accomplish your purpose. That same gift can be misused and make you a predator. Well, I don't have time to deal with that, because this not only applies to natural ability, it also applies to spiritual gifts. This is why when it comes to spiritual leadership in church settings, what you see is character criteria. Actually, a lot of what we see, if you look at spiritual leadership in the Old Testament, if you look at Jethro and Moses' narrative, Jethro generally speaking primarily gives Moses character criteria. I'm trying not to run on a Wednesday night. When I tell y'all I feel this in my soul, it's character. He tells him the kind of the kind of man that should leave. He deals much more with character than capability. And then in the New Testament, we see it. It's clear in Acts six, when the apostles give criteria for the disciples to select deacons, men full of faith, full of wisdom, full of the Holy Spirit. Then when we see in Paul's pastoral epistles, we see similar.

We see him telling Timothy not double tongue, not giving over the drunkenness, husband and one wife, like you see, it's character criteria. Because if you take the carisms, the gifts, the spiritual gifts and you put them in people with low character, then the low character will co-op the gift. And so someone will have prophetic gifting. Ayah, yah, yah, so strong prophetic gifting, but low spiritual character. And now what is happening is the character has co-opted the gift. And so now instead of using the gift to serve people, the gift is being used to serve themselves. Stay with me now. Stay with me. This is important. So what we see here in Genesis 27 is the misuse of a gift. I mean, the fact that like Rebecca tells Jacob, I'm going to cook it and prepare it the way your daddy like it. Then I'm going to take goat skin and I'm going to put the goat skin on you because Esau, your brother is hairy. You're not hairy. So I'm going to put the goat skin on you so that you feel hairy like your brother Esau. What do you see? You see the character co-opting the gift. It's like it's just that you could have used that same innovative gift. You understand what I'm saying? It's almost like people who like our hackers and scammers. It's like, if you are that, why are you doing dumb stuff with a smart gift? I mean, it took a lot of thought for you to feel that. You could just start the business and sold something. Because when the, ah, yah, yah, yah, yah, gifts and callings come without repentance. And so when the enemy was it because the enemy can't un-gift us.

The enemy wants to influence us to misuse a gift God's given. And it gets to what she wants. Jacob gets the blessing. Jacob in days is a predatory behavior previously, right? And that's how he got the birthright from Esau. He exploited his own brother's weakness. It got him what he wanted. And let's just be honest. Sometimes these toxic traits get people money, get people a man, get people a woman, get people a position, get people opportunity, get people a brand, get people influence, get people fame. Let's be intellectually honest. Some people scam and got money. Listen to me. But even when he gets you what you want. It costs more than you want to pay. And this is what the text teaches look at look at the text. Verse 41 says Esau held a grudge in his Jacob because of the blessing that the father had given him. And he said to himself the days of mourning for my father are near then I'm gonna kill my brother. So Rebecca gets the blessing that she wants for Jacob, but now she's about to lose a son. Notice now, notice what we see, notice what we see in the text. Rebecca was told what Esau said. So then she sends for Jacob and she says Esau's planning to avenge himself by killing you. And so she says, what I'm gonna do is I want you to go to your uncle, Laban. I'm gonna send you to your uncle, Laban. Stay there until your brother calms down. I don't have time to deal with that, but the fact that she took the threat serious enough to send them away lets us know that she knows what Esau's capable of.

And she says, well, your brother's no longer angry and forgets what you did to him. I'll send a word for you to come back from there and watch what she says. Why should I lose both of you? Both of you. And one day. So even though it got to wish you wanted, Jacob got the blessing is costing her more than she wants to pay. Her desire to win is producing a war. I want you to catch this. Other individuals have to pay the invoice for her toxic traits. He saw wants to take Jacob's life because Rebecca took his blessing. So Jacob now, and if you actually, if you go back and you watch Sunday's message, you'll see when we explored this narrative, we showed you that Jacob actually had to be convinced Jacob actually gave Rebecca a little pushback to you. He's like, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa." Rebecca was like, "No, no, no, no, no." So she literally, listen to this now, she was so determined to get her son a blessing now, she's risking her son's life. Her desire to win is producing a war. Isaac is impacted, Jacob is impacted, Esau is impacted. And I think we all, if we love those around us, have that some point ask ourselves a question. How long am I going to keep making somebody else pay the invoice for my undel wet toxic traits? Well, I feel this pinter costal quickening on me today. And what I'm trying to do is to use the text to expose the expense because here's what I believe when it comes to change. My power is more important than willpower, and some of us know we have toxic traits. We all have toxic traits. I literally got my team working on a toxic traits assessment, like we all have stuff that shows up in us in chapter 27 that doesn't show up in us in chapter 24.

You know that, like some of you know, you're like me, you'll fight. You know you will. And the Bible says, watch this, you don't win. The Bible teaches you don't win over your weaknesses by ignoring them. Let him come on here, Zion, who thinks he stands, take heed unless he falls. That's the book. That's the book. You know why power is stronger than willpower because sometimes because the invoice for toxic traits doesn't come immediately. Is that the book? I said, if I'm in the book, put you're in the book. Put that in the chat. You're in the book. God is not mocked. What does Paul say to believe in Galatia? Be not deceived. Don't be deceived. Why? Because when the invoice or the harvest, the consequence of choices, the ramifications for our actions are not experienced immediately. We can assume they're not going to be experienced at all. But the Bible says, don't be deceived. Don't don't you be deceived. God is not, you can't mock God. Whatever a man so's, that shall he also reap. So it costs us something. So sometimes it is the revelation of the expense that gives us the motivation to make an adjustment. God rewards us by consequence and by reward, I mean, motivates us by consequence and reward. So unaddressed toxic traits cost Rebecca something and in part, what it costs Rebecca, it could cost you an eye. And I just want to spend some time exposing three things I see in the text. It's expensive. And here's the first thing. Toxic traits will eventually send an invoice that costs us peace. I want you to see what happens here. Let's reverse 41 again. Esau held a grudge against Jacob because of the blessing his father had given him. He said to himself, the days of mourning for my father are near, then I will kill my brother Jacob. When Rebecca was told what her oldest son Esau had said, she sent for her younger son Jacob and said to him, your brother Esau is planning to avenge himself by killing you. Now then my son, do what I say, flee at once to my brother Laban at her on and stay there with him until your brother's fury subsides. So I want you to think you got a mother now living under the fear that one son is about to kill another. Now let me tell you something. Let me tell you what she didn't do. She didn't go to Esau and say Esau be mad at me. It's my idea. Listen to me because the people that will help you with the crime aren't people that will step up and do the time. We drink my water.

Come on. She is living under the anxiousness of one son taking the life of another son and in addition to that, probably living under the anxiousness of an own son finding out that his own mother robbed him of something that rightly belonged to him. Come on church. Come on church. Come on church. In addition to that, in addition to that, it's a completely different conversation when it comes to her husband because she deceived him too. I want to show you something here. I want you to go to verse 46. I am disgusted with living is what she says. This is the sound of a woman who's running out of peace. Rebecca had issues with conception. A womb was buried. God supernaturally opened a womb. Some historians say she waited 20 years to be able to give birth to her children and she finally gets the blessing that she can no longer enjoy because toxic traits inhibit our ability to enjoy what you produce. She produced children. She didn't get to enjoy it because toxic traits. My God from Zion. Here's the second thing I see in the text. Toxic traits cost her productivity. Aren't you looking at verses 13 through 17? His mother said to the son, "My son, let the curse follow me. Just do what I say, go and get them from me." So he went and got them, brought them to his mother. She prepared the tasty food, just the way his father liked it. Then Rebecca took the best clothes of Esau her son, which she had in the house. Then she put them on her younger son, Jacob. Then she covered his hands with the smooth part of his neck with goat skins. Then she handed her son, Jacob, the tasty food and the bread she had made. So this is, this part of the narrative is capturing all the effort, the energy, the innovation

that went into Rebecca actually deceiving her husband so that he could give the prophetic spoken blessing over the younger son and not the eldest son. So I want you to see something. All this time and energy she spent doing that, she could have spent that time and energy doing something more productive. Then after she gets exposed to the potential consequences of her deception and she hears that Esau is now about to take the life of Jacob. Now she's got to come up with a whole plan to say, okay, now I got to get Jacob out of here. I got to let my brother know that Jacob is coming. How much can I tell Laban? Can I tell Laban what I actually did? I don't know how Laban's going to look at me if he knows what I did. So I want you to think about what else she could have been doing. So all of this is stealing her focus. Every verse I just read to you is a task. She's planning routes, timelines, explanations. She's trying to contain this. It's causing her her focus. Focus is selective attention. Focus is the currency you must be willing to exchange in order to do what God's calling you to do and be who God's calling you to be. Like attention is currency. That's why I say it, we say we pay attention.

So now instead of her focus being released into her calling, her focus now belongs to a crisis. Her focus is affecting her force. This is a strong woman. I didn't like historically, I didn't, contextually, I didn't deal with like painting a clear picture of what it even took for her to water those camels. When Abraham's servant is first exposed to her, when Abraham is looking for a wife, what Abraham's servant is looking for, a wife for Isaac. Like, I mean, it was arduous. One, it took a long time. And two, it took strength to carry those containers to serve those camels. So all of that energy now has been redirected to her becoming a full-time crisis manager. I want you to think about all the stuff the text doesn't tell us that we know she had to do. 'Cause when she sends Jacob away, she got to tell Isaac something. Now it's all this energy line. Like, what are you telling Isaac? Esau wants to take Jacob's life. So it means she can't tell Esau what Jacob went. So the energy she could have used stepping in the destiny is energy she's using now to do damage control. 'Cause the toxic traits are gonna cut, are gonna create a mess.

It's gonna require your focus. It's gonna require your force. And it's gonna impact your productivity. This is why, like, I can say this very practically and I'm saying this practically, okay? Just practically. One person is just like chronically obsessed and engaged with all sorts of sin. It's like, you're not busy enough. You got a lot of time on your hands to be doing all of that. All right. It costs her peace. It costs her productivity. I'm done. Number three, it costs her people. Notice what she says. I got to send one son away and then she says, Every one she was trying to hold on to has been repositioned as a result of the ramifications of her unaddressed issues. Jacob is deceived, I mean, Isaac is deceived. When he finds out the Bible says he trembles violently. So Jacob, Isaac feels deceived. Esau feels robbed, cheated, he's bitter and angry. Jacob has to become a fugitive. So the household she was trying to secure has now become a house where one son is plotting and scheming, another son is running and a husband is kept in the dark. So she turned family into enemies. Because a toxic trait didn't just cost you what you have

at some point, it cost you who you have. Husbands deceived, one son is damaged, the other son is displaced. Husband is deceived, one son is damaged, and another one is displaced. Because at some point, what toxic relationships cost you is people. Toxic traits cost you, it's people. Toxic traits cost you, it's people. And some of you know what I'm talking about because some people's unwillingness to address their idiosyncrasies, it costs them you. Yes, it did, it cost them you. Lord, there are things about me that I can't see, that are hurting me. Show me. Show me, I know who I am in chapter 24. Sometimes I minimize what shows up in chapter 27. Help me deal with that. 'Cause the chapter 27 can cost you everything. One chapter can cost you everything. And I think the maturing believer has to move beyond simply asking the question, "Is this sinful?" That's an important question. We need to ask another question. Even if it's not sinful, is it toxic? Even if it's permissible, is it profitable? Is it helpful? Even if it's lawful, is it expedient? Lord, there are things about me that I can't see, that are hurting me, I need you to show me.

I'm gonna have my team put that toxic traits assessment. We're gonna have to figure that out. Hopefully by next week, we'll have something for you. And may God use it as a discernment tool. That's a discernment tool to help you see some stuff he wants to sanctify in this season, or places where you need sozo, where you need healing. And I hope you found this helpful. I'm trying to condense our time down a little bit. I want people to be able to get this Bible study done in a cardio session. So I wanna shrink the time without compromising the content. So I didn't cheat you on the content today, but I wanna be more efficient with the time. And I hope this added some value to your life. Now, I wanna pray for a spirit of revelation that the Holy Spirit would help us see some things that we need to see as we prepare to close out. I also wanna create some space for generosity. And so a lot of thirst coming on the screen, ways to give. And one of the things I am just deeply, deeply committed to in this season is not just practicing what I preach. I wanna do that, but also preaching what I practice, not allowing some of the hostility towards certain subjects in church and culture to make me mute in areas that I know. If we mute in, the devil's gonna be loud in. And one of these things is generosity. If you are not operating as a kingdom citizen, tapped into this kingdom economy. And particularly if you're living

in the western part of the world, well, gas is $500 a gallon on food. Come on, I used to get a pack of, now I'll lay this for a quarter, now my God. Anyway, the point that I'm making is, man, we need heaven. Did you hear me? We need heaven. We need heaven open over us. And so generosity from God's people unlocks greater levels of generosity from God. God has already been generous. But generosity from God's people says to God, I'm the kind of person that can be trusted with more generosity. So as we sow, some of us even sacrificially tonight, understanding will be open that we would see clearly mmm traits in us that are showing up in our chapter 27 show us those things that can ruin everything we don't want to pay the price of our peace of our productivity or people so open our eyes and over the course of these next few weeks may your spirit help us identify and arrest toxic traits in Jesus name amen love your family see you Sunday morning new series called toxic traits we're running that through October on Sundays and Wednesdays and then the first Sunday in November we're starting one called we outside and I'm dealing with spiritual gifts and spiritual fruit and how that shows up in everyday life I love you see you next week