There's No Bow On This | 1 Samuel 27

- No, I literally, I was almost thinking like, and seeing, like, this is it, this is it. - And that's it. I know it's hard to say. And that is the beauty and the grace of this. There is no bow. - Yes, there is no bow. - There is not. - And because we understand that we can get in the dirt with people, and go, there is no answer, we're gonna hold each other right now, you know? - Yes. - Yes. - Yes. - This is the Crossroads Daily. No experts, no perfect people. Just honest conversations about what happens when the Bible shows up in real life. - Hey, I'm Arturo. - And I'm Chuck. - I'm Devo. - I'm Josh. - We are in first Samuel 27 today. David is continuing to be on the run, because he's the future king, but the not yet king. Current king Saul is trying to take his life. And this is an interesting chapter. - I think David is just plain tired. - Yeah. - Do we say, do we agree he's 30 years, as I always said? - Yeah, yeah, eventually. - Well, eventually. I mean, he's in the middle of that. - The middle of this 30 years. - We take 30 years. - I mean, he could be close, but yeah. 30 years got annoying to him to be king

through the Prophet at 13 or whatever old he is, and 30 years before that thing is realized. Whew, that's hard. And I was thinking about this. Like, I should probably make a note. Sermon titles I'll never use, but probably should. Here's one, your dreams will not all come true. - Mm, that's so inspiring. - Right, I mean, nobody would want to listen to it. - Put that on a coffee mug. - But it's true. - Yeah. - It's true. There are some things that are just going to not happen. And the question is, if you're waiting for those things to change, it just gets exhausting. - It's so tiring. - Have you been there? And what does it feel like to be there? - Mm. - Yeah, I've been there. I'm in there right now. My wife is in a case that has us waiting for an outcome, waiting and waiting and waiting. And over time, I've just had to learn just by giving it up, to be honest. - Yeah. - It wasn't something. I still wanted to see what I could do to control it, what I could do to influence it. - Yeah.

- There is nothing. - Yeah. - And so you just get to a point where maybe it's better to not think about it and just surrender and understand, well, it's not today. - Yeah. - So, let me just do my best to enjoy it. Or there are days where I'm just spending the whole day or weekend or week trying to not- - To tamp it down. - You have to tamp it down. I got time to do it, I guess, right? But, yeah, I mean, I would say I'm in a season like that right now, to be clear, still in it. - Yeah. - Still waiting. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I'm sure you're in that, and that's, yeah. This is exhausting, I hear that. - It is, it is exhausting, and it's nowhere near over. No end in sight, not sure when it's gonna end, not even sure what that outcome is. - Yeah. - Just get to a point where you just, all right, well, it is what it is, or you don't. Oh man, I guess if I'm still thinking about it on occasion,

it's not like I've completely given up. - Yeah. - Thinking about it, it giving me anxiety, giving me days where I have to wrestle with it. I don't really know how to end that. - Yeah, that's all right. Well, 'cause there's no resolution to it. - If there's no resolution to it. - It doesn't have to be tied up in a bow. - It's not. - I heard somebody say something, and I'll ask you guys to help me with this. And they said, "If the gospel is, in fact, good news." - Oh man. - That it has to be good news to the rich and the poor. - That's right. - To the suffering and those experiencing injustice. Like you can't just be good news to people who have the means and the life that already works. Do you believe that? 'Cause this, I think that comes to bear when we think about a situation like even what you shared. That's like, it's long, it's not resolved. And today, like David decides, he literally decides, I think I'm better off if I go and camp out with my enemies. Like my national enemies rather than be in my own country. Which, me and yet, he had to move his whole family. I was like, it was a whole thing. - Yeah, I think to that end, I'm of two minds. My best self believes the gospel is good news

to everyone always. My maybe less good self is, God gets to do what he wants whenever he wants and I gotta suck it up. - I think both are true and they hover in the Venn diagram. - That's right. - And then the Venn diagram, there's this grace that we always come back to. But I have to believe. I have to believe that otherwise. What am I doing? What am I doing seriously? And to the point where you're saying David flees, flees his people. He made this choice. He made this choice. I don't know if it was not dealing with his fear, but he dealt with his fear in the wrong way. I think about myself. I think in my life, throughout my life, there have been points where I have dealt with fear and anxiety, disappointment, all of those things, not knowing. In crazy, unhealthy ways. And now, in this sort of more mature state that I'm in, it is significantly harder to deal with them in healthy ways. You know, it is so hard to deal with the uncertainty and fear in healthy ways. And there are days where I just have to go. I just throw up my hands and I go, "Well, I'm not quitting, but I'm not quitting, but I'm not quitting, but I'm not quitting. But I'll take a sit down." Yeah, totally. I just think about, I'm not in the season anymore, but I think about the waiting season for me in my life was when I was single, I was single for like over a decade. And there was many prayers that I prayed to God, like, "All right, God." Like, this is the desire that I have. And I don't see anything in sight that could meet me in that desire. And so I found myself feeling extremely exhausted, emotionally and mentally and spiritually, at times where I could relate to what David was doing of just like the craziest scenario of just like him wanting to go to his enemies. Like, that doesn't make sense, but you rationalize things in your head when you do get to that point of exhaustion and in the waiting. And so it's just, I think it's like a real thing to experience, to read David's story in this chapter and to see why he did what he did. Because exhaustion in the waiting can lead you to do the craziest things. Absolutely can. And absolutely can. And you helped, I think you helped put a label on this.

That's really important. We're talking about pain. That's right. We're calling it waiting, but it's waiting for pain to go away. And while you're waiting, guess what you're feeling? Pain. You're feeling the pain. And I think David is an example of that. How did you or how are you continuing to have a relationship with God and a life that is, you know, as functional as any of us are, we all got our stuff in the midst of the waiting. I think that's really important. What's that look like for you? And I'll start and say, for me, it's why I need community, you know. It's a friend of mine. You know, I'll never forget this. I was in a really hopeless place, really hopeless place. And what he said to me is he said, "Hey, borrow my hope for a while." Oh my gosh. And I was just like, and I literally haven't, and I've gone back to him with that and said, "By the way, you owe me, dude." Yeah, I'm borrowing your hope on this, too. I don't necessarily see it yet. But I think that's why we need people, because sometimes we need to borrow somebody else's hope for a while. Yeah. This feels important to say out loud. I deal with it now. I total transparency. A lot of my, a lot of the struggles we're talking about today, for me, just come from a traumatic upbringing. And I have done a lot of work. My wife and I have done a lot of work to learn to sort of what I call be human again, you know. But medication has been an amazing gift to me to be able to deal with these things. And for, I think, a long time, I believed as a somebody who follows Christ, I should be able to be. Christ should be enough. And the reality for me is I am, what I said this the other day, I am saved by the spirit and far over the spirit of pharmacology. That's great. Yeah, I am. That is how I'm able to deal with the pain in the midst of it. Because otherwise, I know that right now until the Lord decides to heal me, there is something broken in me. Yeah. Or there was something done to me that broke me. Exactly. Yeah. So for the rest of my life or until the Lord wants to heal me, this is how I'm going to deal with it. Yeah. And so that gives me a lot of peace and a lot of grace. And it is the only way I'm able to deal with it. It is the only way. Yeah. And you're not less of a Christian. I'm not less of a Christian. No, I think no. Keeping myself busy with good things and with good people. Yes. It helps when I share with people close enough, I'm And it's been called out to me. Yes, keep yourself busy with good things to be clear. And then with good people that know, you could probably use a distraction

they could read my face. Hey, let's do this right now. Hey, you're allowed to be here right now. I love when people tell me that because it's good. They're lovingly reminding me, I know where your head might be wandering right now. Hey, you can be here with us right now. You can be here right now. And good rest is a good thing. Come on. You can abuse it. Come on. Stay in bed the whole time too. So you got to balance it. But if you do these good things, including rest with good people, that's how I've endured the eight years of what I've been going through, not knowing how much longer I have. That's right. But if I'm in the midst of doing good things in the waiting through the pain with good people that understand it and I get a good night's sleep as often as I can, I've made it this far. I love that. I love that. That's right. And there's no bow on this. No, I literally, I was almost thinking like, and seen. Like this is it.

And that's it. I know it's hard to say. And that is the beauty and the grace of this. Yes. There is no bow. There is not. And because we understand that we can get in the dirt with people. Yes. And go, there is no answer. Yeah. We're going to hold each other right now. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yeah. So hey, it means a lot for you to spend time with us. And man, if you're in one of those places, we see you and welcome to that tension. That's right. And we hold it with you without a resolution. But together, we hold it with you. So thanks for spending some time with us today. [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] (upbeat music)