The Secret to Loving | Love Without Limits | Twin Rivers Church

I'm excited before we jump into today's message. I want to talk to you about Something I feel like the Lord's put on our heart for our church for this year You know, we just finished a series called devoted and it was a series where we really said hey We're resigning casual Christianity and this year our goal is to be more devoted to following Jesus than ever before Well, I really felt like the Lord spoke to me and said that's not just a sermon series That is a the word of the year for our church that that this we've never done this before But I want to take that on as a theme and I want us to Really adopt it and say our goal this year is to be devoted not just in January but in December I want to be more devoted than I've ever been and One of the ways that I want us to kind of keep that before us is that? Starting today. We are going to do an open reading or a prayer straight from Scripture every single week And so what that looks like is we're all going to join together Opening our mouths and reading this together, but really praying it and as God's Word comes across your lips each week I really believe something spiritual is going to happen and that you and I are going to become not just in theory more devoted But God's Word is going to work in us to become more devoted. Okay, so so we're gonna start that today So I need everybody to stand up. Come on stand up and they're gonna put the scripture that we're gonna do all year This is our scripture theme for the year. This is a prayer that I we're gonna pray together now Now listen, I'm a lead you and on the count of three, but you're to say you're to pray it aloud not a soft Okay, so we're doing it all together on the count of three one two, three May the God of peace himself make us entirely Pure and devoted to God and may our spirit and our soul and body be kept strong like Amen and amen and amen. Come on. I had God's Word active in your life You did pretty good for the first time this year. Go now go ahead and take a seat We're gonna jump into today's message I'm so excited to see how that every week is gonna take root in our hearts and we are going to become more devoted because Of that. Okay. Now look I want you to open your Bible today to John chapter 20 and and while you're doing that Can you help me do this? Can we welcome our correctional facility campus all the guys at er DCC. We love all them so much Today we are kicking off a brand new series and it's called love without limits and I want to take the next few weeks and I want us to get better at loving and

Today's message is called the secret of loving and it really comes from Years ago. I was in the car and I was just driving and all of a sudden I heard the Holy Spirit in my heart I heard him just say I want to teach you how to love and I wasn't listening to anything about love I wasn't thinking about love, but he just said that and I thought it was odd because to be honest I felt like what I probably got loved down I mean I've been married for you know 18 years and that love for my wife has produced five kids and I love those kids so much I tolerate a dog and you know, I just I felt like, you know, I got it covered Well, just a few seconds later somebody cut me off in traffic and Immediately I sped up got on their bumper and gave him a death stare now I used to have a Twin Rivers sticker on my car. I took that off a long time ago Because this is this happens But as I'm like right in their bumper giving them that kind of a mean look and I I heard the Holy Spirit again say I'm gonna teach you how to love and all of a sudden made more sense why he said it to begin with, you know You think we kind of what all admit it's just easier to talk love than it is to walk love And and I'm not talking about like the flimsy kind of cultural love I'm saying have you ever considered How your love stands up to scriptures standard for love, for example, there's a passage of Scripture You've heard at any wedding you've ever attended 1st Corinthians chapter 13 I want to read it to you today, but I don't want you to think about a couple getting married I want you to ask yourself. Do I love like that? First Corinthians 13 for love is patient Love is kind it does not envy it does not boast it is not proud. It does not dishonor others It is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth It always protects always trust always hopes always perseveres love never fails Now if you're like me the minute you read that you go impossible There is no way I Cannot love like that. And if you just said that about yourself, let me just say you cannot love like that Aren't you glad you came to church today to be encouraged?

You can't you you cannot love like that I the most loving person, you know doesn't love like that and that's ultimately and create some frustration in us, if we're honest. You know, here we are following Jesus, and then we read kind of passages like that, and we go, I don't even have the capacity to do this. I remember years ago, Kayla and I were in a season where we were really, we were not on the same page. We had a lot of conflict, and ultimately, I mean, it was about what all conflict's about. She wasn't meeting my needs, I wasn't meeting her needs, and we just kept pulling at each other. And I remember her explaining what she wanted from me, and thinking to myself, I don't have that. Like, I'm not naturally bent towards that. Later that day, I was praying, and I was just like, God, I can't meet her needs. And I remember the Lord just gently, that same voice said, well, I can. And I thought, well, then you should've married her. But in that moment, the Holy Spirit was teaching me something, the secret to loving, which is this. God is love. It's not God is loving, God is love. His very nature is the definition and essence of what love is. And you are not. And so if he is something, and you are not that thing, but yet you are asked to do that thing, you have to go somewhere to get what you are not.

And this is ultimately what the secret of loving is, is that we recognize we are not loving, but he is love. And therefore, we orient ourselves to go to him to receive what is needed to express that to other people. Listen, my love runs out very quick. I get impatient, I can be quick to anger, I keep records of wrongs, I, in every way, shape, or form, have given up on people. But it's amazing when I consistently show up to God, who is love, how he fills me with love, and how all of a sudden I can become patient, and I can give people second chances, and I can start to experience, give grace and mercy, that I can actually give love, not because I am loving, but because I know love, and I spend time with love, and love fills my life, and I pour it out for others. Okay, so we're gonna talk a lot about this in the next few weeks, but let me just say this, there is an obstacle though, a major obstacle, in the life of many people, that keeps them from receiving God's love, and therefore keeps them from releasing that love to others. And here's the obstacle, it's just regret from our past sins and mistakes. Whether that's something that you did years ago, or it's something you just did this last week, there are often times that in our lives, we look and go, love never fails, but I do. And because I have done this, I cannot receive God's love. I would say this, most people are not loving

because they simply cannot believe that God loves them. And the best place to kind of unpack this today, to get this obstacle of regret out of your heart, is in John chapter 21. Now here's the irony of John 21. It really was not necessary. John 20 really wraps up the gospel of John pretty well. John 20 includes Jesus being raised from the dead, it includes Jesus meeting with the disciples, showing himself as a resurrected Christ, stirring their faith, and then it also includes them receiving a commission to go and take this gospel around the world, and it also includes Jesus ascending into heaven. John 20 is a perfect chapter to end the gospel of John on. Even the final verses, let me show them to you, John 20, verse 30. John wraps up and says, Jesus performed many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not recorded in this book, but these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing, you may have life through his name. I mean, that's a perfect end, and yet John 21 exists. And what's interesting is John 20 wraps up this worldwide, human-impacting story, and John 21 is about a single person whose name is Peter. You may remember Peter, if you've been around the gospel at any point, Peter was this outspoken, out loud disciple of Jesus.

One of the earliest called, always in the drama among Jesus' followers, and bold and believed that he was everything a disciple should be. Well, in John 13, Jesus pulls his disciples together and shares a meal with them called Passover. And it's at this meal that Jesus says to them that I am going to lay down my life, he basically reveals he's gonna be crucified. And he's preparing them for what's about to happen within hours, because he knows it's gonna deeply impact them. And he says to them, when I am crucified, I want you to know this, you're going to deny me, you're going to scatter and run. Well, Peter interrupts Jesus in the middle of his kind of monologue and says, no, Jesus, I won't. These other guys will, but I won't. I'm faithful to you. I will not deny you but Jesus had been around Peter for three years. He knew Peter. He knew Peter's frailties He knew Peters his ambitions. He knew Peters mistakes and he said Peter not only are you gonna deny me? You're gonna actually deny me three times Now Peter doesn't believe Jesus but within a few hours Jesus is arrested and the Bible says that Peter follows at a distance Into a courtyard where Jesus is in a building being Interrogated and while he's standing there He's warming himself by some charcoal fire when all of a sudden a young teenage girl comes up to him says hey Aren't you one of Jesus's disciples and without even thinking Peter says no I've never even met the man then a few more minutes pass and someone else walks up and says hey Aren't you one of Jesus's disciples and Peter says no I don't have anything to do with him and Then finally a third comes up and when he does Peter feeling the anxiety of the moment The Bible says bursts in anger and he doesn't just deny Christ he literally curses him and

in a way that only I mean cinematically as He's cursing Christ Jesus exits the building Looks across the courtyard and through the fire. Here's Peter curse him in This moment the weight of this falls heavy on Peter. The Bible says that he weeps bitterly His heart's broken because he realizes what he's done and basically when the other disciples run and hide Peter instead resigns as a follower of Christ the weight of Denying Jesus cursing Jesus and him knowing it is too heavy for Peter Peter leaves instead of going to help build the church. He goes back to cleaning fish Instead of writing epistles. He writes himself out of Jesus's story and that's how John 20 ends and It's almost as if Peter had editing rights to his buddy John's book. You said okay, just finish it on on John 20 Just wrap up the story on John 20 because I just write myself out of this But here's the thing Peter doesn't have editing rights The Holy Spirit does and the Holy Spirit speaks to John despite writing a perfect ending and says John Turn the page. I'm not done with Peter yet He says I've still got something that I need him to do I need him to receive love and release love and my prayer is that's the same sense that you get out of today's message is That despite what you've done Maybe this week or years ago that heavy shame that you carry that you would understand though You have written yourself out. The Holy Spirit says turn the page. I still have something for them to do I still have purpose for their life. I still have something I want to do through them and in them turn the page I'm not done loving them or loving through them yet And so what I want to do is take John 21 Peter's story and I want to help you Who are struggling with regret? Pull it out of your heart so that you can receive God's love. Here's John 21. Let's let's look at it together It says early in the morning Jesus stood on the shore But the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus and he called out to them from shore friends Haven't you any fish?

No, they answered He said throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some and when they did they were Unable to haul in the net because the large number of fish Then the disciple whom Jesus loved now, that's John the author obviously writing about himself that way He need to write about humility, but nonetheless Said to Peter it is the Lord and as soon as Simon Peter heard him say it is the Lord He wrapped his outer garment around him For he had taken it off and he jumped into the water and the other disciples followed in the boat towing the net full of fish For they were not far from shore about a hundred yards and when they landed they saw a fire burning coals There with fish on it and some bread and that's where they met Jesus I'm gonna give you four things that it takes to receive God's love in the wake of your regret. Here's the very first thing You have to realize that God has never left you The Details of this story are so interesting because particularly who's present John 21 tells us that Peter's not on this boat alone. He's there with John. He's also there with Nathanael He's there with Thomas and a couple of others, which is important to recognize because Jesus When he resurrected he went and appeared to his disciples in Individual moments or small groups, so he went to Nathanael. He went to Thomas He had been to John and that's interesting because everybody on the boat But Peter has seen the resurrected Lord, which tells me this Peter's not fishing because he thinks Jesus has died He's fishing because he thinks his relationship with Jesus has died See, he's not there because he thinks Jesus is still in a tomb. He knows he's resurrected But he thinks Jesus wants nothing to do with me you know Regret is a skill for liar, and it convinces us that somehow our sin is greater than the cross. Somehow that we're unforgivable. That God can forgive a lot of people of a lot of things, but not me. And in this moment, that's what Peter ultimately believes is, is that because of what I've done, Jesus doesn't want me. I abandoned him, he's abandoned me. I've distanced from him, he distanced from me. And the irony is, the entire time he's listening to these lies, Jesus is

standing on the shore. That in fact, there was no distance. That Jesus had came looking for him, and it's an announcement in action that is repeated throughout Scripture, God's central promise to us, which is, I am with you. I'm with you. Now, for us, that really undergirds this reality that God is always present. But do you know what else it undergirds? That he's always present despite being all-knowing. Like, I want you to imagine for a second that next week for services, we recorded you, okay? We recorded everything you did. We recorded everything you did by yourself, and somehow we've even recorded what you thought. And then what we're gonna do next week is we're gonna put it on the screen, and we're all gonna watch it. We're gonna see everything you said under your breath that you thought no one heard. We're gonna see all of the places you went. We're gonna see how you talk to people. We're gonna see how you talk to people about people behind their back. We're gonna see what you put into your search history. We're gonna see how you filled out your expense report. We're also gonna see the thoughts you had about the people that you interact with. We're gonna see the things that you didn't even say, but they were in your heart about these moments. We're gonna see all that. Now, let me say, if that happened, I have a guarantee for you, you would have no friends. Ain't nobody want to be your friend. And yet, God is not just always present. He is all-knowing. What I just proposed, he has done every moment of your life. He's seen the selfishness. He's seen the doubt. He's seen the lust. He's seen the anger. He's seen what you've expressed and what you've only thought, and it has never caused him to create any distance whatsoever. See, that immediately, Jesus starts to challenge our notion of love, because what we think love is, is this kind of flimsy, kind of comes and goes, and it's tied to feelings. No, Jesus says, that kind of love, I don't know that love. The love, though, that I give, it is persistent. It's stubborn, even. It's diligent. It is unmoving. That despite you failing, it's still there. Despite you sinning, it's still present. This kind of love that I give, nothing you've ever done has pushed it back one inch. That it is rooted in the very character of God, and that no sin has ever caused him to

step back once, but in every moment of every breath of every life, love has never not been a hundred percent towards him. It's just unmoving. It perseveres in all things, and it will not fail. And so, you may have left Christ, but here's the epiphany. He just went with you, because you cannot distance yourself from him, despite what you did. Here's the second one, is that you have to resist this urge to earn. The Bible says, the minute that Peter recognized that it was Jesus, he does two things. He puts on his outer tunic, and then he swims to shore. Now, putting on your outer tunic, this is very specific, because it's referring to the best kind of clothing Peter had. He had left the Passover, he had denied Christ, and then he immediately went to this boat to fish. So let me say this, the Passover, he would have wore his best. And so, when he gets to the boat, he just takes it off, because he doesn't want to see it damaged. But the minute he sees Jesus, he puts it back on, because what we do when we first encounter Christ is we think we have to keep up appearances. He throws on this to be presentable to Jesus. And then, in his dramatic self, the Bible says he jumps in the water and starts swimming to shore. And it's really what he's communicating to Jesus is, see Jesus, I can make it up to you. See Jesus, I can earn. See Jesus, I can show you I'm hard-working. I'm not like that weak guy that was there three days ago. I am trying harder than ever. And out of this, I think we see ourselves. You know, many Christians who are the most dedicated to Christ are doing it because they think they have to produce in order to receive from him. I got to be at church. I got to serve. I got to give I got to do all these things and they're doing it Because they believe the minute I stop doing that is the minute he stops loving me and even unbelievers believe this I've talked to people before who who are wrestling with the idea of becoming Christians and they'll say things like Okay, I get it. Um, I'm gonna get my act together and then I'm gonna come back and fully commit what they're saying is I'm gonna go produce and then I'll come back to receive and And the crazy thing is is that it's common but completely erred at no point Does the gospel present you earn God's love? No point. Is it it's a gift freely given

Let me say it this way if you spend any time with Kayla at some point She's gonna tell you about her youth pastor when she was a teenager His name's Rod and Rod probably made as much a mark on Kayla as any Single person has many life lessons how to see God and is his word And one of the things that he taught all of the young girls in the youth ministry was how to approach dating as as they should But Rod was he was kind of old school And so his premise to those girls was the guy does the work and you receive the fruit of the work You'll go chasing no guys, you know, you don't go doing all the work for him You you don't and so by the time Kayla and I got you know into dating I was doing all the work She never called me. She never planned a date. She never opened a door for me. She never bought me a meal She didn't because she had been trained that you do the work. I received the love and In some senses, that's the gospel Like Jesus did the work He went to he came to earth. He lived a sinless life. He got on the cross. He laid down his life He went to the tomb. He got out of the tomb. He ascended to heaven. He's the one that sent the Holy Spirit Why are you trying to do the work when he has done all the work? He does the work you receive the love you receive that you are adored despite what you have done that you are beloved despite what how bad you've been that you are the apple of his eye despite the fact that you're kind of rotten at times that He provides and protects and keeps you you Receive the love so so here's your here's your challenge. Here's your challenge. It is a challenge I want you To stop trying to earn God's love and instead learn to enjoy his love Like like instead of getting up saying what do I need to do to have favor with him? I want you to wake up and go I've got favor And let's just enjoy it today Here's the third one. The third one is in the wake of regret. You know what you do You just resume your daily relationship John 20 21 12 says and when they got ashore Jesus said to them come have breakfast and Another disciples dared to ask him. Who are you? They knew it was Jesus

This is my favorite detail in the story Because you have to you have to enter in these guys have all denied him Peter three times cursed him They walk up and recognize it's him. It is tense. Jesus has built a fire He's got fish and they walk up and it's like there's this silence and they're all braced for Jesus to to kind of well What were you guys doing while I was dead? You know, there's a little bit of this like well, it'd have been nice if you were faithful you know and and so they kind of sat down sheepishly and the first words that come out of Jesus's mouth are Scrambled or over easy. I Mean can you imagine how confounding that was? I mean it was Jesus where's the punishment? Where's the interrogation? Where's the shaming? And that just shows how far off we are from Jesus He didn't show up to rebuke the wrongs he showed up to restore the relationship That's why you serve breakfast because you want to have breakfast with someone You see it's important for you and I to recognize this and this is a very significant theological truth Why were you created and the answer is love? that God created you out of love and theologians say this is Incredibly important because it means you were not created out of necessity. You were not created out of Boredom you were not created out of like the idea that God needed worship or anything like that you were created God was sufficient in and of himself and he said I Want to love on someone and so he created you to have a relationship with you now Why is that important that you understand that because if that's why you were created that means that is the filter through every action he's ever taken towards you is Everything he's ever done is for relationship And I love this because in this moment, you gotta notice the details. They're setting across a fire. The last time that Peter had connected with Jesus's eyes across the fire was the moment that he had rejected him.

It's almost as if Jesus, and it is kind of his deep, deep soul understanding of what Peter needed, he recreates what had broken Peter so that he can put him back together. It's this idea that Jesus, first of all, is not afraid of entering into our worst moments. It's not like, well, we're never gonna talk about what happened. No, no, no, it's a subtle way of acknowledging it, but it's also saying, I've been here waiting. Okay, so let me say it this way. The minute Peter denied Jesus, Jesus already had a plan to restore Peter. And if you don't believe me, look at Mark 16, seven. Jesus says to an angel about the resurrection, go tell his disciples and Peter. The minute you did what you regret, Jesus already initiated a plan to restore the relationship with you. And the reason that it's breakfast is because that's what Peter needed. The last time they had shared a meal together was at the Passover, and at that meal is where they were close, where they were teacher and student, friends. Jesus even says at the Passover, you call me friends. This is Jesus saying, I'm here with a meal because you need to know we're gonna pick up right where we left off.

Mark Batterson, who's a bestselling author, tells a story of his earliest memory. It's at his grandparents' house in Fridley, Minnesota. He would spend lots of time there, and he loves his grandparents, loved spending time there. But one of the things that he remembered is his grandfather had a fossils collection, and there was an unwritten rule for that home that you do not touch grandpa's fossils. And the only time that Mark said you could see them was when his grandfather would hold them and show them, pulling them out of their case. Well, his five-year-old self, one day he walks into the study by himself, and he gets one of the fossils, and he holds it in his hand, and he pokes at it, and then his five-year-old hands let it go. The fossil falls to the ground and splits into 1,000 pieces. Mark said immediately, he said, I remember the overwhelming emotion. The emotion of guilt because I knew I shouldn't have been there, the emotion of regret because I knew that this couldn't be put back together, and then the emotion of fear because I did not know how my grandfather would react. He said within a few minutes of hearing it, his grandfather came in, immediately saw Mark, and assessed the situation,

and he said his grandfather did not say a word. He instead came over, picked up Mark, sat on a chair, and hugged him tightly. And Mark said, that's the earliest memory I've ever had because it was the first time I tasted grace. Grace is loving someone when they least deserve it. That hug was his grandfather saying, let's just pick up where we left off. I don't know if I asked you, what do you think God's saying to you today as an individual, what you'd come up with, but I can tell you from the text, it's very clear he's saying, let's pick up where we left off. Which means that if you would choose so to invite him into a moment, he would attend. That if you were to say a prayer, he would hear. That if you were to open the scriptures, he would speak. That if you were to ask him for wisdom, he would give it. The most profound thing God is saying to you in this moment is, let's pick up where we left off. And then here's the last one. It kind of turns, where now, Peter, I need you to release the love you've received. John 21, 15, it said, when they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these? Yes, Lord, he said, you know that I love you. And Jesus said, okay, then I need you to feed my lambs. It's Jesus saying, Peter, I didn't restore you

for you alone, I'm here to love on you because there's a bunch of people I need you to love on. And in this moment, if you read the conversation, Peter, it does not resonate with him because he's still dealing with the shame and the regret. And Jesus actually has to repeat this multiple times. So it's Peter saying, but Jesus, I've learned my lesson. You need to let John be the one out front. Like you need, let somebody, Jesus, can we just be in a relationship? I don't want to represent you for fear that I'll fail again. I don't wanna. Come like I don't need to be doing ministry Jesus I I don't need to do like I you need to find someone else to do the loving cuz I'm I'm the one that failed And it reminds me of a story one of my favorite stories about Tom Watson who founded and led IBM for decades He had a junior executive who was bold and risk-taking and he went into a venture trying to make a name for himself and lost ten million dollars And so Tom calls this junior executive to his office And to review what happened and the guy shows up with a box ready to be let go he walks in and Tom says what happened and he he chronicles all the Unwise decisions he made the big risks and all of it done out of selfish ambition And he said I guess you you want my resignation. So here it is and Tom Watson looks at him and says your resignation Resignation, he said I just invested ten million dollars in you. I can't afford to let you go and In this moment where Peter's going Jesus find someone else. Here's my resignation Jesus looks at Peter and goes Resignation. I just invested a resurrection in you. What are you talking about?

I need you to get out there and love some people you've just been given mercy and grace And I just wonder if that's some of you you you're here and you've been here and and you're thinking you know I'm you're just good to come in and sit down and you're just happy the tiles don't fall in on you because you live with So much shame and regret and and you know, you hear us say we'll go to connect track You're like, I'm not going to connect track. I can't help anybody and you know, I can't lead a life group I'm not I'm just happy to be here. I can't greet at the door. I couldn't help kids I can't serve and the reason you don't want to serve it's not because you don't want to help people if you feel so Unworthy and what I'm just saying is the spirit saying to you. What are you talking about unworthy? I've invested so much mercy. I've invested so much grace who better than someone who's been broken to help Heal other people who better to love on people than someone who's needed so much of my love See I would say this that it's You haven't received the love Till it's left you and went to someone else and Maybe maybe that's why you are still struggling With this does God love me it's because the love keeps stopping with you when it's meant to go to somebody else Now here's the question did it work beautiful story Heartwarming moment did it work though? Well, I think the proofs in that 30 or 40 years later Peter writes an epistle I'm gonna give you a guess to what topic he writes on the most love First Peter 4 8 above all things Let me just say this above everything. I could talk to you about above everything. I could write about I Want you to have intense and unfailing love? for one another and Then notice this is it and it's I love this because it doesn't say because I've read Because I once heard No, he says because I have tasted that love covers a multitude of sin Peter says I Can love?

Because I've received this love And the type of love that he references there in the Greek it means it ain't your normal love It's love that that doesn't cease love that covers sin love that cannot fail Love that is patient love that is kind love that it is the same kind of love that we read in first Corinthians 13 He says that's what I received and that's why I can give it to you today