The Power of Words | Creative Church

these are points, but I want us to pray them. And let's all, we're gonna say this together, but the first thing I want you to write down is, Lord, set a watch over our words. Let's all pray it now, everybody say this. Say, Lord, set a watch over our words. Yeah, over our words. So why don't you start off there? You're so beautiful. - You can't distract me. - I'm okay. - You gotta let me finish, okay? - Yes. - Guys, we only got from one page last service, so hopefully we'll get through more. - Joanne, looking at Joanne's like, looking at a picture of heaven. - You're so cute. - She is like, like Jesus. - You guys take notes. - She is like the Lord. - Men, husbands in the room, take some notes. (audience laughing) A godly woman understands that words are wounds. And whatever she speaks consistently begins to grow. We don't just birth things in our wounds. We grow things in our wounds. So we set the temperature in our house for what words mean to our spouse and what they mean to our children.

What our children, what they learn how to speak over themselves because they're listening to how we speak as moms in the home. So have to be very careful with the words that we speak over our children and our husbands. - That's, that's, I'm just gonna kind of echo that our words are wounds that birth things. You know, if we really believe that, I think we'd be more cautious of what we say. What we wanna birth in the life of our children, our spouse. And then I like what you said that our words set the temperature. How many dads know you can walk in and change the temperature in your home with your tone? If I walk in with like anger, the whole atmosphere shifts. If I walk in with joy, the whole atmosphere shifts. So just as much as you change the thermostat, anybody got a thermostat in there, right? You get, your tone is the thermostat. - Yeah. - You can, you can change the whole atmosphere with tone and how you say things have a lot to do with the reaction you get. Come on, amen. And so we have to be astured over that. - That's right. - And it is hard. - You know, your words have to be filled with prayer and scripture. 'Cause that means anxiety begins to lose its grip on the household. Fear and anger and frustration and just quick to just get mad. All that leaves when you fill your house with peace and love and joy, happiness.

And that comes from your words and your words have to carry scripture. And I mean, everything needs to point back to the word, to Jesus, to the cross. Any situation that you walk through, your kids need to know, what would Jesus do in that situation? Like that's the first question I ask my kids all the time when they're walking through something. 'Cause I want them to think about what the word says. Not just because mom and dad say it. And the same thing with your spouse. You know, you gotta give love and grace and forgiveness. Because sometimes we just make mistakes. All of us do. - Oh, praise God. - Proverbs 18, 21, life and death is in what? The power of the tongue. - An anointed wife does not raise her voice to raise her authority. Because her words are already carrying heaven. Guys, I know this is not easy to do. I have eight kids. Y'all know I've raised my voice many, many, many times. Because, you know, my frustration, my patience is gone by 10 a.m., okay? But I have to then come circle back and be like, I didn't mean to raise my voice at you. I just want you guys to do what I'm asking you to do. And you see I'm talking to you right now. Like I have to go back and explain to the kids like, you don't have to raise your voice to get your point across. You don't have to disrespect someone to get your point across.

You don't have to talk to them in a degrading way to get your point across. And so it's teaching them how to do that. Teaching how to speak to your spouse in front of your children so they don't see you, you know, disrespecting or dishonoring them in the way that you speak to them. - Yeah, wow, it's beautiful. And it is hard. How people can admit it's hard. I mean, it is. It's like you're there and you're talking to God, like, "Lord, I haven't talked bad to anybody all day." And I haven't yelled at anybody all day. And I've been good all day, but I'm getting ready to get up now, Lord, and I really need your help, you know? You know? [laughter] Need your help now, Jesus. But you know your words matter. Father's husbands, you know, the Scripture's saying Matthew 12, 36, but I say unto you for every idle word that men speak, we're gonna give an account on judgment day. Every word you say, God writes it down. Every day you almost write a book with your words. - Wow, that's right. - It's a book. And in heaven they're going, okay, well, let's pull it up here, May 3rd, 2002.

- That's right. - It's written down. It's accounted for, every word. Your words are so powerful. How many of you believe your words are powerful? You know, even the world believe, that's why they call it spelling. - Yeah, yeah. - Spelling comes from, it's the same connotation, it's to cast a spell. A spell is words in a particular order to produce an outcome. That's where spelling comes from. Now in the Bible, we say life and death is in the power of the tongue, right? The spiritual, but the world believes that if you put words in a particular order, it produces power. If you say a certain set of words in a particular order, it produces an outcome. Does the world not believe that? Come on, am I right about it? That's why they named spelling, spelling. If you put letters in a particular order, it produces an outcome. If the world believes it, how can the church not? Your words matter. - Yes, amen. - And when it comes to discipline, let me teach every parent, give me your attention.

And those that will be parents. - Amen. - Please hear me, I'm gonna teach you something. I was just teaching this on our university of parents in the other day. When you discipline your children, do not tie what they did to who they are. This is the mistake we make. You're lazy. You're ungrateful. You did this, you did that, you are this, you are that. And then what happens is your child ties what they did to who they are. And then when you discipline, you're disciplining them because they're that. This is not good. So let me give you a different way, okay? You wanna disciple the person and discipline the decision. - It's good. - So this is how this goes. Jeremy, I know you to be a loving person, a kind person, a generous person, a healing person. That's who you are. But now we have to discipline the decision that was made. But that decision is not who you are. Do you see the difference there? Because if not, they're gonna put their identity in the decision. - Man, that's so good.

- Does that make sense to you? - It's good. - And so you wanna disciple the person. I'm discipling you, I'm telling you who you are. But now we have to deal with what was done. But what was done is not who you are. How many of you ever told a lie, raise your hand in your life, you told a lie. Aren't you glad you're not a liar? Aren't you glad you're not what you did? - Amen. - Aren't you glad that Jesus separates who you are from what you did? So if Jesus has done that for us, why are we not doing that for our family? Why are you not doing that for your spouse? Why are you not doing that for your children? - Come on, I'm preaching better and y'all say, y'all wanna make me a peach cobbler for that. (audience laughs) - And yes? - I'm sorry. Do not tie what they did to who they are. So that they never embrace that as their identity. You have to keep, listen to me, identity has to speak louder than discipline. - That's right, yeah. - So I'm gonna discipline the decision, but I am going to yell at the identity. - Wow, that's so good, fantastic.

- You are this, you are anointed, you are called, you are blessed, you are favored, you are generous, you are kind, you are loving, you are forgiving, you are a wonderful son, you are a wonderful daughter. Now we've gotta discipline the decision, but I am going to speak loud at identity. And watch how it all changes. Your kid has to separate the decision from who they are. - And consistently speaking that over them every day 'Cause our kids are going to-- that are not true about them, but they need you to counteract that as a parent and just tell them what who they are and who God says that they are. Not just your kids, your spouse too, they go to work and they're dealing with you don't even know what and what they've said about them and all the stuff that happens at work. They need to hear what you believe in them, like what you see in them on a consistent basis, not just when there's a problem. I love it. I love this one because I love this point right here. In the early church, mothers believe the word of God could enter the soul even while children are sleeping. They prayed scriptures quietly over their children as they were sleeping. The times in the middle of the night when the Lord wakes you up, get up and go pray over your children. They're walking through something and they need you as they're spiritual covering to go speak scripture over them. You have scripture just playing in their room at night, really low. It just keeps it in their soul so that they know the word of God. Sometimes you have to trust God. The reason why I believe in praying scripture over your children even while they sleep is

you have to begin to trust the Lord to heal what you can't reach with instruction. I may have something right now with your child that you can't reach. Anybody know what I'm talking about? If you don't, keep parenting. You will reach a place where you go. There's something in them that my words don't reach. And the presence of God, the word of God is the only thing that can reach it. Sometimes you're trying to reach it, but it's like you drop a ring in the drain and then your attempt to reach it, you push it. I didn't want to push it, I was trying to reach it, but I pushed it. I don't want to know, you guys don't want to talk about it. I don't want to push them, I want to reach them. That's where you've got to lean on the word of God and the presence of God. Can I say this not just for your kids? Even if there's a strain in your marriage, sometimes God just wants you to get up and pray for your spouse. You don't know what's going on, but only the Lord can do and heal whatever it needs to be healed. There's nothing that you can do or say, but the word can do it, and you need to be praying and standing in agreement and standing in the gap for your spouse if something is going on there. Yeah. A wise spouse knows that not every correction needs to be spoken immediately. Sometimes you have to wait. Let me teach you ladies, let me teach you the ladies for a moment, let me tell you something about our male organization. I don't know if I should be telling you this about our organization, but a lot of times when women, their son or their husband or something does something, they want to instantly bring it up. Did you do this?

Okay. Let me help you because I've had to confront a lot of men over 22 years of ministry about their family, their life on, and I've learned some things. And as a man too, having to minister to men, typically that doesn't go well. My experience has been in confronting a man if you just confront him quickly, 99% of them are just going to lie. And I'm not making an excuse for the lie. Lines are terrible and it's wrong, I'm saying. But it's like you fall, you know, if anybody's ever fallen, I'm the only one who's fallen. So you fall, you put your hands out in front of you. It's just a reaction. You didn't like think about it. Just put your hands out and now your hands are all messed up too. It didn't stop the fall. It just, I didn't, I just did it. That's what it's like when you just confront a man quick, he's going to do that. I'm not making an excuse for it. It's wrong. But now you're mad that he lied. It's now you're mad that he didn't and you're mad that he lied. So what you want to do is approach them a little different to get where you're trying to get. Let me give you some advice. When you have to confront your son's, your husband, this is a better way to do it. Even dads with sons, this is a better way to do it. Listen, I'm going to ask you a question and I don't want you to respond. I just want you to hear me. And then I want you to come back to me later today or tomorrow and then talk to me, but I just want to ask you. And before you come back to me, I want you to think about how much I love you.

I want you to think about how I've been there for you, how I care for you, that I'm not intimidated by the mistake and that I want you to know my response is going to be for healing and love. I care about you. I've modeled it for years and I know we can't get healed without honesty. And I want you to really think about how much I love you and I want you to come back to me with honesty. Every time I've approached a guy like that, they've always been truthful. Now, I'm not telling you to do that. I'm just telling you that's been my experience. You know, what did Mary say? The Bible says that Mary pondered these things in her heart. Sometimes, sometimes the miracles also tied to timing. Anybody believe that? And you've got to learn those things in your heart. And I think a godly spouse learns how to listen to the Holy Spirit before we're responding. And hear me, you have to allow timing to become a part of the miracle. Allow timing to become a part of the miracle. Restraint is not silence. It's spiritual maturity. So sometimes we just got to, you know, bite your tongue, but not really. And just be like, Lord, help me Jesus right now. And then go spend time with Him until the appropriate time. I'm not saying that you always need to stay quiet, but appropriate time when you can bring healing to the situation. That's when you work it out. So when you work it out, yeah. See, anger, anger is not a sin. Bouses be angry and sin what? Sin not. So anger itself is not a sin. Suppressed anger is a sin. It's when you got angry and you never dealt with it, and you let the sun go down, the sun go down, the sun go down, you got angry, you let the sun go down. Now you're, you're in sin because suppressed anger is sin, not anger. You have to deal with it. Can I get any men about it? So don't let the sun go down on it. So that means in Minnesota, you have till 9 30 in the summer to deal with it. But in the winter, that's right. It's like four o'clock. You got to deal with that. Come on, smile. Amen. Don't get into many arguments in the winter time, right? But let, let, let the Lord use your words to heal. I mean, Jesus healed more people with His words than touch. All right. So you got to show people that authority flows through language. He spoke peace to the storm. Every time you, you, you find a storm, Jesus didn't curse the storm.

He spoke peace to it. He didn't smite the storm. He spoke peace to it. You have to speak peace to your storms before the world is telling you to say everything but peace. Speak peace to the storm. Speak peace to the situation. Don't let the world pull you into the storm. Pull them into your peace. Praise the Lord. And homes are healed the same way. When fathers learn to speak calm, when we learn to speak healing, you know, our children don't need louder discipline. They need steady voices. That's what they need. Calmness, reason, you know, like I've learned, I've learned that in, in, in, in my years of parenting. That we have to learn to speak peace to the storm. And I want you to write down this, this, this point that your tone matters. Your tone matters as much as truth. In timing matters as much as intention. Sometimes the world, sometimes even church people, they won't pastor to just get up and start talking about everything. I've learned timing. You know what else I've learned about my church? People who let me pastor them actually know my heart. If you don't know my heart on things, I would say you're not, you've not really let me pastor you. I can get you might be newer and things like that. But people who have walked with us for years, you know pastors aren't on that. All of my kids know what I believe. You can ask Alexander, Nicholas, Isabella, Penelope, they know that that's the benefit of relationship and walking with people. Come on, can I get any men about that? You know what your mom believes? You know your dad's thoughts. Come on, am I right about it? It's because you've been, you've been parented. That's why I say you have to let your heart be pastored. It's only the people who come in here who I'm not pastoring, who are, who all like, what do you think about this? Well, it's like, well, if you walked with us, you'd know what I believe. I wouldn't have to like shout it from the rooftop every week. What's quiet? But I've learned, I've learned there's a difference and those people, I'm not pastoring them. You remember Jesus when the woman was caught in the act of adultery and they brought her out here and they said the law says, they brought the law

and they said the law says you should stoner and they said what do you say? And the Bible says Jesus answered them not a word. - Yes. - Which taught me, I don't know a response to every question. You know what he did? He got down and wrote in the sand and the Bible says they all dropped their rocks. I don't know what he wrote and you don't know what he wrote. And I think there's a reason. When I get to heaven I'm asking. (laughing) But I will say this, whatever he wrote, it made people drop their rocks. All I will say is whatever you say, whatever you choose to write, make sure it moves people away from violence and not towards it. Make sure it makes people drop their rocks. Whatever Jesus did, whatever he wrote, it made people look at themselves. - Wow, that's right. - And not others. We live in a world that once is consumed with making people look at others. But Jesus makes you look at you. I wanna be a church that makes people look at themselves. Where are Adam, where are thou? He that has no sin, let him cast the first stone.

- That's right. - Jesus makes you look at you. - And even analyze the words you say over yourself. Like I found myself saying something the other day about how nervous I'm gonna be about this thing that's coming up and I'm like, I don't know how I can do it. But then the Lord caught me and says, no, you're gonna do great. Stop saying those things over yourself because I'm just speaking just not life over myself. So then I'm gonna start believing it because I'm doing it to me. It's not just what I'm saying to others, it's what I'm saying to myself. You have to start knowing who you are in Christ and knowing what God says about you and knowing that it's gonna be amazing. We're not gonna have terrible teenage years. We're gonna have amazing teenage years. - Yes, the best. - The best, it's gonna be great. And so just start speaking that over your family, over yourself and who God says you are because it's gonna just change the way you think, the way you process things. You're gonna see it in a different way. You're gonna see it in the way he sees you, which is totally anti-culture. - Yeah.

- So we have to start speaking those things over ourselves. - And be gentle with your words. Gentle words preserve intimacy. They make room for understanding. It creates space for it. It creates space for questions and conversation and healthy marriages are built by couples who choose words that heal. Rather than just being right. - Yep. - Right? Do you wanna be married or do you wanna be right? Come on. You can be right and be alone. - I mean, you ain't getting a response. I think a lot of people wanna say you wanna be right. - I'm saying it regardless. (laughing) Okay. Proverbs 15 and one, a soft answer turns away wrath. But a harsh word stirs up anger. Come on. - So good. - You gotta pull each other out of the crazy cycle. - Yes. - I don't know if you've ever been down the crazy cycle, right? Where she says something and then you say something and then she says something and we've learned, our pastor, I haven't taught us years ago.

He said, just be honest with each other. You're like, what do you mean? He's like, just be honest. So we started doing it and now it heals everything. She'll say, how come you can't put the toilet paper back on the toilet paper holder? You are 47 years old. (laughing) How long do we have to live like this? (laughing) And then I used to it say, well, you don't do da-da-da-da. And then she, you know, anybody been down that path before? So now I just go, I don't know why I can't do it. I think I'm too lazy to get up and go all the way back in the other room and get a roll of toilet paper. So if I leave just a little bit, then it's somebody else's problem and I don't have to worry about it. So I am clearly dysfunctional and I need you to pray for me. - Praise God. - And then you end up laughing and you're over it and it's like. - Praise the Lord. And I'll go to her and I'll be like. (laughing) - Just be honest. - But you know, our kids are doing that now. - Yes.

- When they do something, they're like, they just come, I don't know. It's my mistake. - I think, I think I don't want to do it because I'm being lazy. - Yes, that's what they say. (laughing) - They're just honest and I'm like, okay, well, praise God, we're gonna pray about that and not be like that. (audience clapping) They've learned that. It's like, ah, they're on honesty's heaven's soap. - That's right, that's right. Even when an honesty hurts, it's the only way to get through it. You know, you have to know what's going on. - Okay, we're not gonna finish this one, but we'll start it, okay? Here we go. Write this down. Lord, we honor covenant before convenience. Let's all pray it now. Everybody say it. Lord, we honor covenant before convenience. Yeah, before convenience. Some marriage is first. - That's right. - Family flows from it. It's not kids first.

- That's right. - It's marriage first. Parenting stands on it. - That's right. - But marriage is first. - You know, marriage is not sustained by feelings alone, but by covenant before God. Covenant remains steady even when emotions rise and fall. You can't just decide I'm not gonna do this anymore because I don't feel like it. You made a covenant before God, that means something. And you have to work it out. The divorce word should not be an option. - Not an option. - When you get mad. Should not be a word that's constantly used. It's something like we made a covenant and we're gonna work this out. Whatever we gotta do, whoever we gotta go see, whatever time we have to like carve out of our day to spend together in prayer, God has to do something in this marriage because we made a covenant before him and this is holy. - Yeah. - It is not up for grabs to just change your mind. This is something that you made a decision and you did it before God. - Without. - And you have to keep that vow. - Yeah.

- And I know sometimes when we talk about marriage people go, they start thinking about these extreme situations and many have lived in those extremes. But you gotta remember, we're talking to the church. We're talking to Christians. Come on, can you get any men about it? We're talking to people who are supposed to be living like Jesus. - Yeah. - So you come to me talking about, what about this person who's acting like a demon? It's like, well, I'm talking to God's sons and daughters here through that context, then that person obviously needs to get saved. They're not saved, they need to know Jesus and then we can start dealing with Christ-like things. But you gotta realize Pastor Joanna and I are talking to church people who love the Lord in the context of Christianity. - And who know Jesus? - Who know Jesus. We're supposed to be reading the scriptures, worshiping the Lord, dying daily, picking up their cross. Come on, can you get any men about that? So when we talk to you, we're talking to you through that context. This is not, I'm not out in the world doing a crusade to lost people today, I'm talking to the church. Come on, can you get any men about that? So you gotta realize, well, we're talking through that lens.

My men? - That's right. - Okay, so, our children flourish when these things are model. We've gotta have godly values in our home. Being a proverbs woman. Being a man of integrity. - That's right. - And to all of our singles, maybe I'll end with that. Proverbs 18, 22 says, "He that findeth a wife, findeth a good thing." I would say that a woman is a wife before she gets married. It didn't say he that finds a woman makes her a wife, it says he that findeth a wife, findeth a good thing. You gotta start posturing yourself for marriage. - That's right, that's right. - Posturing yourself to be a woman or a man of integrity, a man of leadership, a woman of leadership, and following the things of God, you know, are you what the person you want is looking for? A person that loves the Lord, a person of integrity. And that's what you're after. Somebody say amen about it. And I wanna say it all my singles before we pray, you're not late. - That's right, that's right. - I would rather wait on the right one than stand in for God like a substitute teacher 'cause he's not doing it the way I want him to do it. - That's right.

four, and handsome, and skin tone, caramel, and six-foot four and fine don't mean a thing if you ain't got no spine. It's not about, all looks are not going to stay, okay, that's what I told you in, you've got to get all you can now. I am not always going to look this good, this is leaving. Sam, going through the hourglass. So you've got to fall in love with the person. Come on, married people, say amen about it. You've got to fall in love with that person. And in your single-ness, you're preparing yourself for that. The women are preparing themselves to be the Proverbs 31 woman because that's who you need to be. Your character needs to be prepared for covenant. So you have to be preparing yourself for that. And that preparing time is you and Jesus, you spending time with Him, Him showing you things about yourself that you didn't even know that you needed to work on. It's not a place of emptiness, it should be a place of wholeness where you're full. You're not empty, you're full because you got the Lord and He's with you and you don't need anything because you got Him. You can't go into marriage needing anything because you're still going to need it after you get married. Yes. Yeah, you know, I was talking, they're like, I just want to get married because I'm sexually frustrated. And I was like, you don't get married because you're sexually frustrated because you're going to be married. And I'm like, all the single people are like, finish this sentence, like what are you talking about? And all the married people are laughing. Dating advertises a product that marriage doesn't deliver.

And you know, like when I picked her up for a date, she came out, just dress, little shoes, little purse. I mean, everything flawless, doves were flying behind her, like this whole little, because she only had to look perfect in a window. You're only going on a date like this one day on a wedding. Anybody get a look good in a window, right? But now, you know, that was my girlfriend. Now she's your mother. Where's your mother? You know what I mean? It's like, what is happening? So it's like you got to go through all of these little, these little things and you begin to realize that you're in love with the person because that little purse turns into a giant diaper bag. You understand what I'm saying? And everything that goes along with it and, you know, and anybody can look great in this little window, but you're marrying the person. And as you go through seasons and stages and ages and life, you grow closer together because of the person. And you weather storms together. My wife and I have been through hell and back. And back is important. Somebody say a minute about that. And so, you know, I want to encourage you to get around older people who have been married. We have them in our church. Get around older people, not old, older. They're not old, but older people in our church and talk to them about how did you survive 10 years of marriage, 20 years of marriage and how did you stay together and do this and do that. And you'll realize that they had techniques and systems and things and communication and

they learn all these kind of things to help them stay married. And so, I want to encourage you, without the Lord, you're not going to make it. The Bible says a three-fold chord is what? Not easily broken. And don't give up on the covenant of marriage. Come on, can I get any men about that? So many people are like, I'm not going to get married. Marriage is the greatest gift. It's a beautiful gift. And so, God wants you to be married. And so, don't go down this path in the world telling you don't get married. It's terrible. And don't do it. You know, it's a great gift from God. And so, I want to pray for you today. Did you get something out of that? Come on, give the Lord a pray.