The Power Of Getting It Wrong (Ed Young and Ryan Leak)

We ended up going on the Queen Latifah show, and on the screen came Kobe Bryant. Kobe Bryant says-- - Hey Ryan. - And then I peed on myself. I was like, oh my gosh. - Kobe Bryant. - Kobe Bryant. I just had this idea that I think failure could add a tremendous value to people's lives. They run from it, but I think, man, if we embrace it, man, you get some resilience. - I love that Ryan. - In a year, I was the teaching pastor at Five Megatures. All completely different denominations. This entity adds the most value to society around us. And if this is his bride, I wanna be a part of it, as best as I possibly can. The more prepared you are, the more people are going to respect you. There's two ways to prepare. One, it's your content. What is it that you're going to say? But the thing that I've found to be most effective is when you've done your homework on the audience, the place, people are gonna spend most of their life, Christians, is that work? - That's right. - But it's the place they feel like they have to hide their faith the most.

- Exactly. - If we act like Jesus at work, we'll be the best leaders and the best coworkers they ever had. - Ryan, are you from Dallas? You live here in Dallas, don't you? - I live in McKinney. - Okay. - Mm-hmm. - Tell me, did you grow up here? - I grew up in a place called Rockford, Illinois. - I've heard of Rockford. - I was outside of Chicago. - Okay. - Yeah. - And you obviously were involved in sports. - I was. - Yeah. I played college sports. My dad was a pastor in the AME Church, African Methodist Episcopal. And yeah, man, I had a heart from industry and a mind for business. I went to Bible school and got a business degree and a minor in Bible. - Where'd you go to school? - North Central University. - You played basketball there? - I played basketball there. - North Central. Now were you a shooting guard, forward, point guard? - I was everything. - Yeah.

- You know, when you go to a Christian school, you know, you don't know who you're, who's going to show up for the game. So I played, I started at center my very first game because the center was ineligible. - That's impressive. - They said, "Ryan, you're playing center." I mean, I didn't do well, but I had to play through the center. - Did you play the whole time? - Oh yeah. - I mean, four years. - All four years. - All American. - All American. - Oh yeah. - Excellent. - Oh yeah. - See, I played at Florida State. - I know. - And I was with the criminals down there. We had our team. We, I love it, but we had a lot of renegades in it. I think they recruited me. I've often wondered why did Florida State sign me to a full scholarship? It's not because of my talent. You know why? I really believe, I mean, I was a believer. Obviously, I've been a believer right my, well,

since I was nine. I never really went through kind of a crazy stage. I think the coach thought, you know what? Ed can be a stabilizing force off the court, on the bench and that's pretty much my, this is my career right here. - That's awesome. - I was all bench, you're all American. - That's awesome, I love it. - So, so you, you, you were all American. - Yep. - And then two, NBA. - NBA. - Well. - You emailed every team. - I emailed every team. - Yeah. - I don't hear that story. - So, I got engaged and married on the same day. My wife told a friend, she thought it would be cool, to get engaged and married on the same day. So, I planned a wedding behind her back over the course of two years. - In Miami, right? - In Hollywood, Florida. - Hollywood, okay. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - So, June 7th, 2013, I said, "Man, do we marry me?" She says, "Yes." I said, "Today, we open up lounge room door.

85 of our family and friends are standing in there with the sign that says, "Today, rolled an address." - That's brilliant. - You know, makeup artists, everything that you would need to get engaged and married on the same day. That went viral in 2013. We ended up going on the Queen Latifah Show. On the Queen Latifah Show, my wife had a surprise for me. And on the screen came Kobe Bryant. Kobe Bryant says, "Hey, Ryan?" And then I peed on myself. I was like, "Oh, gosh." - Kobe Bryant! - Kobe Bryant. So, I had three months to prepare to meet Kobe Bryant. He invited me out to, you know, Staple Center at the time and said, "Hey, just come hang out with me in the Lakers, pick the game." And I'm like, "Oh my gosh." I'm like practicing my greeting and I'm like, you know, trying to figure out, like, what are me and Kobe gonna talk about? - Right. - You know, 'cause you don't want to just be fanboying. - Exactly. - You know, get the autograph and take the photo. And I thought, "Well, if I was in the NBA, we could talk about work." You know? And been all American at like NCCA, National Christian,

collegiate athletic association. I have to tell people, I'm pretty good at basketball for Christians. (laughing) So I'm churchally giving me, but-- - Right, that's hilarious. - So I always, I'd go to Mav's games and I'd be like, "I could do that." - Yeah. - Like I could hang with that guy. - Yeah. - It's like, "Well, let's go find out." - Yeah. And so when I met Kobe, I talked about chasing failure and he's like, you got to do it. And so I started emailing NBA teams and saying, hey, would you let a complete stranger come work out for your basketball team? I'll probably fail, but what if I don't? - Yeah. - I just had this idea that I think failure could add a tremendous value to people's lives. - Yes, yes. - They run from it, but I think, man, if we embrace it, man, you get some resilience. - I love that running. So Boston Celtics said no, and I was very discouraged by that. And then I thought, to the Boston Celtics, just email me back, like, this is amazing. And then I said, I'm going to do a documentary

about being told no by all 30 NBA teams. And this is going to be great. Fifth NBA team was Phoenix Suns, and they said yes. And I was like, oh, oh, okay. They're like, this is on a Friday afternoon. They said, yeah, come Monday. And I was like, like this Monday? They're like, yeah, bring your camera crew. I was like, camera crew. - Yes, of course, we'll get a camera crew. I had a homie from the church named Chuck. I said, we can't go to Phoenix right now. He was like, for what? I go, I don't even have time to explain to you what's going on, but we're going to have a story to tell. - Unreal, Ryan. - So yeah, so I flew to Phoenix, tried out, and spoiler alert, I failed, and-- - What was it like trying out? - The on-ramp from lifetime fitness to an NBA player. I don't know how, I try to explain people to do that. On-ramp in a weekend, you just, I mean, I'm six, three, six, four, like to go from being like the tallest guy in the room often to being the shortest, to being like a young guy who's 26 at the time, 27, that's not, to being like the old guy. In your late 20s, you're like, it was-- - Did you play, like, did you practice against to be in a sense? - Oh yes, they were there.

I didn't even know they were going to be there. Julie from the Phoenix sign said, yeah, Jeff Hornesack was the coach at the time, say, hey, he's just going to do like a workout. And like, you'll just do a bunch of drugs. I'm like, oh, yeah, it's easy. I get there, the team's there. And I was like, what are they doing here? They're like, they work here. I went, that's fair, that makes sense. It's like, well, they're going to finish, and then I'll do my thing. They're like, no, suit up. And I was like, okay, here we go. - Now, Ryan, what was that like? Because very few people-- - Oh. You just-- - Have ever been on the court, 'cause it's easy to watch and go, isn't it? - Oh, yeah. - This is another level, isn't it? I mean, that's-- - There's levels to this thing. I mean, the worst guy would destroy-- - Destroy, yeah. - I mean, it's not even... So the great thing about the NBA is the NBA standard. So for example, you go, oh, I could shoot. Okay, great, let's see.

You gotta shoot 20 shots in the NBA. You gotta make 18 if you're a shooting guard. So I was making like 16. So it's like, oh, he's making some shit. But you're not meeting the standard. Like, they expect you, if you're open, to make it. - Yes. - So if you miss it, it's just like, something's off of this guy next. - Okay, Ryan, my brother, Ben, is also a pastor. - Yeah. - He pastors in Houston. - Yeah. - It's a weird name of a church, second Baptist. My father pastored it for, I don't know how many years. Anyway, we come from a basketball family. We all played basketball. - Yeah. - My brother married a girl or maiden name, Colangelo. Is that Ring of Bell? Jerry Colangelo. - Okay, yeah. - He started his Chicago Bulls. - Yeah. - He owned the Phoenix Suns. - Yeah. - And he was president of USA Basketball. In fact, the Hall of Fame Basketball Court is called Colangelo Court. - I was gonna say, that name is very, very familiar.

- And I hear him, you know, I know him and he has so many great stories back in the day. I mean, just like, it'll blow your mind. - Of course. - And of course he loved the Suns. - Yeah. - Oh yeah. You know what, Jeff Hornesack, you're too young. He doesn't look like it. That guy was a great player. - It's phenomenal player. - Do you remember him? - Of course. - Michael Jordan. - Yeah, okay, okay, good. - Yeah. - But you're so young. And, oh gosh, some of the great players have played there. Charles Barkley, of course. - Oh yeah. Oh yeah, big time. - What was the big old white guy that was so muscular? Who did? Thunder Dan, Dan. - Thunder Dan. - What's that, guys? Dan Marley? - Dan Marley. - Dan Marley.

- Oh yeah. - That guy got was tough. - Oh, he's Hall of Fame over there. - Yeah, I was in the Raptors. - Yeah, he is, but he's still not Michael Jordan. - He's not Michael Jordan. - With Kobe. - No. - Did you ever play with Kobe? - No. - No, I wish. - Okay. - He was hurt when I got there. - Was Kobe bigger than you thought he was? It's like, man, this guy's huge, or he's got that big. - He had a probably an inch or two on me. - Okay. - Like I was looking him in his eyes. - Right, right, right, right. But he was sizing me up. Like he was like, and this guy go. Like he emulated competitiveness. - Oh yeah. - I mean, just fierce competitors. - Yeah, Ryan, here's something interesting. I'm gonna give you a quick story. I, again, played Florida State my sophomore year, right? I'm sorry, right before my junior year, I gave up scholarship, moved back to Houston, got married, went into the ministry, et cetera.

I worked on my father's staff. And the church there is, when I say big, back in the day, it was like, for about maybe 10 years, it was probably the largest church in America, you know? It was and everything kind of has this day. You know what I'm saying to you? Certain musicians or certain actors and actresses. So that was like the day. Well, we had these unbelievable gymnasiums. - Yeah. - So I played with some of the guys who were now in the NBA. So I thought, man, I'm gonna do like a summer league. - Yeah. - Ryan, Ryan, Ryan, Ryan. This is at our church. Not gonna believe this. - Wow. - You could only play if you were in the NBA because Houston was a big melting pot from English. I have played because like, you know, maybe nine guys will show up certain days. - Sure. - You, Hakim Olajuwan, I mean, all the time. Moses Malone. - Yeah. - Sleepy Floyd, John Lucas, Otis Thorpe. - Wow. - Clyde Direct, I play with, he's Avery McDaniel. - Yeah. - Some of these guys, you don't even know.

- Oh, yeah, Alvin Hayes. - You play with the Alvin. - Yeah, so I'll play with Alex English. - Okay. - I play with all those guys and I was a bitch warmer. You know what, I believe it was the grace of God. I believe no sir, so think about it. I was called into ministry. - Yeah. - Because I was around so many hell-raising, cocaine, snorting, skirt-chasing wheels off guys. And I would invite them to the church. I was attending and I saw church through their eyes. I'm like, man, if I could ever be part of a church where they would get it, so I don't know. I gave that up. - Yeah. - Not that I would have been, no, I'm not delusional. - Sure. - But I can't believe I had that opportunity. I mean, I've played a lot. I've been in the court numerous times. I was the only guy that was not an all-pro. My hands lifted up. - Yeah. - So, so who'd you guard? Who'd they put you on? - Oh, my God. Sad. - I know you're the tenth guy.

- It's sad. - I've been the tenth guy a few times. - They're like, who's you guard? - Yeah. - You're looking for the first person. - That's right. - You're like, who's the person that broke? - Who's the person that broke? - A gay shoot. - And you're like, guard at one time? - George, the ice man, Gervin. - Ooh. - That's not good. - But he was like 50 years old. - Okay. - And he could see, you know what? - He still, yeah. - He could still light it up. When he had to, the ice man. - Okay. - So anyway. - Yeah. - Glory days. - But I do, I think God allowed that, Ryan. - Yeah, for sure. - Yeah. And he shaped you. - Yes, he did. But enough about me, I didn't mean to get off in the basketball stories,

but so I love being a pastor's kid, don't you? Tell me the benefits, Ryan, of being a pastor's kid. - Well, I remember somebody that was old school. - Yes. - You know, African Methodist Episcopal Church, multiple offerings in the church. If the first offering wasn't good, he'd have to trust these. How much was it? Let's run it back. - Let's do it. - The second time. - That is genius. - You remember the love offering? - Yes, I like that. - Come on, let's get this thing going. - Yeah. - Multiple choirs. - Okay. - I mean, we had a choir for everybody. We had a youth choir, women's choir, divorce people choir. Whatever season of life you're in, we had a choir. And three hour long serve. I mean, we were, you brought a snack at our church. We're going to be there for a minute. And I loved it. I used to, there was no children's church. You sat. - Right, yes sir. - Next to your mama in church.

- And there's something great about it. There's something also great about children's church. But there's something great about it. I did the same thing. I mean, we didn't have. - Yeah, no. - Of course. No slides. - No. - There's no costume. - Oh, no, no. - Right, right. - Trying to entertain these. - That's right. - To teach you about Jesus, you know, I would sit next to my mom through all of these offerings. And we didn't have a lot of money by any stretch of the imagination. And my mom would always reach in her purse and she would pull out a quarter. - Whoa. - And she would put it in my hand. And she would say, "Ryan, don't ever let the plate go by without giving something." - Whoa. - So that really marked my life of Jesus. my wife raised our kids and talk about it. And then unfortunately, my father had a stroke and when I was in the fifth grade. - Oh, sorry to hear that.

- And we were attending a private school that was connected to a really large white church. And so my parents said, "Hey, why don't you start going to church with your friends?" So you imagine going from all black church, small black church to large white church in a weekend. So, you know, at our church, it was like, the service starts at 8.30, but it was like, whenever. Whenever we got there, it could be 8.45, it could be nine. First time I ever went to white church. When they said 9.15, they wouldn't plan. - Okay, click track started 9.15. - I mean, it was like, we won't be on time. And then something crazy happened. At 10.15, the pastor said, "Have a great weekend." And I was like, so y'all got intermission at y'all's church? I was like, we're gonna do this again. I said, "What do you mean?" I've never heard of this two services thing. I said, "What do people do with free?" I've never had free time on a Sunday morning before. They said, "We're going to brunch." I said, "What's brunch?" I've never heard of brunch. And they introduced me to chicken and waffles, and I gave my life to the Lord. And I said, "This is awesome." This is what it means to follow Jesus.

This is awesome to them. Then in college, I went to a word of faith church. - Yes. - And it was the first time ever that I had seen black, white, Hispanic, Asian, people all worshiping together, and it inspired me. Then that was in Chicago, and I went to North Central University in Minneapolis, and I went to a prosperity gospel church. And my friend's like, "You can't go to prosperity gospel church. "You can't do that." I was like, "Guys, relax. "It's not that big of a deal." Like, I like the guy, I like the church. And that next Sunday, a guy walks up to me and says, "Hey, you don't know me, but the Lord told me "to give you a hundred dollars." I said, "I love this church." - Yes. - Best church I have been to, it is awesome, you know? Everybody's blessed to be a blessing until you pull out a Venmo QR code. And so anyways, and at that church, they celebrate it one Sunday. They're one millionth person giving their life to the Lord. - Oh my goodness. - They had a guy on staff who was in the evangelist. Like, that was his actual job to walk the streets of Minneapolis and just win people to the Lord. And they were celebrating their one millionth person

giving their life to the Lord. And that was the day I felt in love with the Big Sea church. I did, 'cause I thought about the prosperity gospel church, the world of faith church, the white church, black church. And I thought, what do they all have in common? At the end of service, they give people an opportunity to get an anchor for their soul. - That's right. - And I just thought from that day forward, I said, "I'm a kingdom person." I wanna help the Big Sea church any way that I possibly can. And so growing up as a pastor's kid, I didn't grow up jaded. I grew up going, I think this is, this entity adds the most value to society around us. And if this is his bride, I wanna be a part of it as best as I possibly can, so. - That's great, Ryan, what a story. Okay, how did you pivot and get into, okay, leadership, coaching, how do you, you just start like, how's that happen? - You know, a few things happened. One, I had a friend who was a teaching pastor at three churches, he did 15 Sundays for three different churches. And when I saw that, I thought, I think I'm actually built for that. And so I just told a friend that. He said, "What is it that you wanna do?"

And I was a young adult pastor here in Dallas. I said, "I think I just wanna be a teaching pastor. I think if I could dedicate myself to just being prepared with gospel, every single weekend, I just take communication so seriously." And if that was all I was focused on, I thought, "How good could I get at that?" And he said, "I'll give you eight some days right now." I was like, "Oh, okay." So I went from zero to eight. And then I was on the phone with another friend, he said, "I'll give you eight." And in a year, I was the teaching pastor at five mega churches. All completely different denominations. And I was like, "Okay." But that was all I did. All I did was play basketball and write sermons. That was my whole life. It was great. And then somebody at one of those churches, I made a statement on a Sunday. I said, "If we act like Jesus at work, we'll be the best leaders and the best co-workers they ever had." - That's right. - If we serve them, we'll go above and beyond. And somebody at one of those churches, they owned the company that shared the parking lot with the church and they said,

"Hey, would you come share that message at our business? You just can't use the verses." I said, "Yeah, I think I can figure that out." And then they said, "You think you could do an eight hour seminar? I have no idea why I said this, no idea." But then I thought, "Is that what I just do eight sermons in a row?" But I went and just figured it out, and then I thought I did an hour on kindness because I was running out of leadership material. I was, you know, I don't know, 28, 29, something like that. And then, at the end, a woman stood up and she said, "Ryan, I don't have a question. I just want to say thank you." I said, "Oh, I appreciate that." She said, "I grew up in a pretty volatile home. I went to a very competitive college. I have been taught that the only way to get ahead in this life is to pull somebody else off the ladder. It's a doggy dog world." She goes, "But you came here today and you said you could get ahead in life by being kind." She says, "If I'm honest, I don't like who I've become. And today you gave me a new way to be human." So, I mean, so then I went, it was preached in the next weekend, and I said, "I know kindness seems like it, but I think it could change the world because it was a pretty dark place." And I shared that at a church here in Dallas, and an executive from the Mavericks was sitting in the audience, they said, "Hey, would you come and do executive leadership for us?" And I said, "I mean, sure, I guess we could figure that out." And then I just kept showing up, trying to add value to the Mavericks, and then they started introducing me to other NBA friends. And then one day while I was preaching in Houston, I was on a teaching team at a church there. And one of the guys there was the VP of Player Relations for the Houston Rockets, and during COVID, he's like, "Hey, our guys don't like the chaplain. We'll you zoom in?" And I said, "Sure. Yeah." So two guys hop on Zoom and say, "Hey guys, my name's Ryan. I'm going to talk today about a verse from

Colossians. What's really unique about Colossians is it's written from a guy named the Apostle Pawnee who was in prison and wrote this." And then they go, "Hey, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop." I was like, "Oh, okay. All right. Well, what's going on?" They're like, "James is here." And I was like, "James, who?" And then James Harden and Russell Westbrook literally sit in front of the camera like this. And then they go, "Start over." I went, "Hey, my name's Ryan, and today I'm going to talk to Colossians, this guy." And then he goes, "Great. We'll see you next game." And I was like, "Am I your chaplain now? Like, how did that have us out?" Fifty games later, I just kept adding that and they kept inviting more friends. And then as those players have gone to different teams, it just kind of spread and spread and spread. And then, so now what I started doing in my sermons, I realized something. The place that is, people are going to spend most of their life, Christians, is that work? That's right. But it's the place they feel like they have to hide their faith the most. Exactly. If I, as a communicator, can equip them to share their faith where they're going to spend most of their time, I think that would add tremendous value to their life. So now in every sermon, I have a work section every time. So if I'm talking about forgiveness, I could say, "Forgive your dad." I'll say, "Hey, forgive your last boss. You don't want to be bringing that into your current workplace right now." Hey, this is how you should treat customers who are angry and talk about you, but inside you. And so I just started doing that more and more. And more and more business leaders kept saying, "Hey, will you come speak?" And so, so now I do about 20 to 25 church events a year. And then I do about 120 different corporate events. That's a lot of 120. It's a lot, yeah. It's fun. I mean, I feel like I just, every single day, I pinch myself, to be honest. In these events, Ryan, you have to fly, correct, to these places, mostly, or drop. Yeah. I mean, and it's different in church because, you know, I can leave the AWS 7am, right? Speak at one. I'm home for now. So I do that probably 40 times. And then there's, I mean, we're in DFW. So I probably do another 40 here. Deloitte University is just down the street, and I don't know if you've ever seen their facility. So Ryan, what are some things you would tell me in our audience about speaking and communication? Just like, tell me, tell me what goes to your

mind or what do you see? And I want to hear about that. The more prepared you are, the more people are going to respect you. So there's two ways to prepare. One, it's your content. What is it that you're going to say? But the thing that I've found to be most effective is when you are, when you've done your homework on the audience, the people in the your subject isn't that true if you don't know if you don't have your finger on the pole so I do a pre-event call with every single person I speak for and I'm asked I have 11 questions that I asked them on every call do you mind sharing some of those questions like what are some who's in the room and what do they do every day and how can I value to their life what's their biggest hurdle what are they scared of yeah what's something you say all the time that they don't get that an outside voice would help echo what are your values how can I insert that into to my talk what's the best speaker you've ever had and why who's the worst big you've ever had and why I want to make sure I don't repeat yeah what some people did yeah and I also want to learn from from someone else um hey what's a what's a quote from the CEO that I can literally put on the screen hey it says this all the time yes and so what it does is it lets people know that it's not about you yeah so if I'm speaking at fellowship church I'm watching the last three sermons in quoting something from whether it was you Lisa who ever to say hey like this isn't the Ryan show I'm not here to get more followers today I'm here to get you plugged into a small group yes I'm here to help you engage with your church more serve more give more and then I'm getting out of the way I'm pointing to Jesus yes and and and the bigsy church and so I think when you do that and you get the eyes off of you and you make it about them you can always tell when somebody's done their homework it's when somebody hasn't you can and so yesterday I spoke for a college in Midland Texas and I I treat like basketball I lock in I mean I want job descriptions for your operations people I want to know what your instructors are doing I want to know that they said there's eight people online I kept turning over and talking to those eight people school because they matter yes and it goes it goes really far when you're able to do that um and so I think when you step on to a stage like yours it's like I would research what are people like in Hawkins Texas mm-hmm because at some point I'm gonna look into that camera and go this is not just a Dallas thing this is a global thing that's right and so you're just you're thinking those little things the content and the crowd you know okay audience content your content audience audience I was trying to illiterate yeah okay so what else would you say about communication Ryan that's

great stuff man like what else you know something that's big for me is I always I never want to assume that the audience knows something I try not to use phrases that's great like y'all know the story it's like no we don't know that's why they're here that's right and for two reasons even the most church person has an 11 year old who hasn't heard the story that's right um and then I always you know you've you've inspired me for a very very long time I've been watching you since I've been great really yeah my mom would put you on TV how old are you Ryan 39 I turned 40 in two days young okay yeah that was your wife she is 37 37 37 um I think it's whenever I'm putting something together I'm always thinking about the back of the room I'm always thinking back of the room always thinking about the back of the room I used to be overly concerned with the front of the room I used to I used to write messages to impress the CEO or impress the pastor so I'm coming to fellowship yeah I want it to really like right right I want it to change Ed's life why are you trying to change it it's like yeah it's like there is a guy who showed up for the very first time maybe the only time help him yeah like that too we're here to serve and so I remember being at my church and I was hoping to speak on a Sunday and I was over Wednesday nights and so I would put together these like Greek Hebrew masterpieces like that were Christian impresses yes and there was guy play basketball with it 24 hour fitness alcoholic military veteran I'd invite him to church all the time and he always said no and there was one summer where I have got this Greek Hebrew master class and I look on the front row and none of our staff is there they're all on vacation and I was like but it was I was uh and I look in the back and he steps from behind the camera, waves, and then he goes back behind the camera. - That's good. - And I remember standing on the stage and I had these notes, and I just helped Mo. Like, just helped Mo. That day changed the way that I communicated for a very, very long time. - What a great story. - And I think if you can help Mo,

even the front row goes, I actually trust you more now. - That's right. - 'Cause I got Mo's in my life. - Yes. - And so, when I come to a church now where I have spoken before, they go, "Is it you today?" I go, "Yeah, they go." I brought my brother. And like, for me, that's like, it's like, I've prepared for your brother all week long, and I know that you've leveraged all of your relational equity to get him here, and you're just hoping that it's not weird, that it's not, and so I'm like, "I got you." - Yeah. - I got your brother to death. And when you speak, okay, obviously you're very well prepared. You know your audience. - Yeah. - So, what are the most important aspects of a talk, a sermon, whatever? Walk us through that. - Yeah, so the other thing for me is, and this is where it gets, it's up to that speaker's preference. - Yes. - I remember one time I was working with the Mavericks, and they said, "Hey, they did a speaker series for a week, and I wasn't one of them.

I was attending. I was there to learn." And they fired the guy, he worked for like AT&T, they fired him on day one. You're like, "Hey, could you fill in tomorrow?" And I was like, "I mean, yeah, but what did this other guy do that was so bad?" They go, "Pfft, he didn't have any slides. Can you believe somebody would come in here and not have any slides?" And I was like, "Yeah, what kind of guy would have any slides?" So I went home and made slides, and here's what I've learned about slides. People take pictures of slides. It's not for you as for them. - Yeah. - They have a takeaway. We, I mean, we've had plenty of people that have graced your stage that were sensational, remarkable communicators. And I can ask you an hour later to say, "Hey, what'd they talk about?" - Mm-hmm, you'd go. - I don't know, but I laugh. - It was awesome. - It was right. - I feel great. - So part of my preparation is going, what's in it for them?

What are going to be their takeaways? Are there going to be three things? Are there going to be two things? Is it going to be four questions? Is it going to be seven qualities, two actions, whatever it's going to be? I know plenty of people who don't use slides and they're very effective communicators. - So tell me, when you use slides, Ryan. - Yeah. - Walk me through, I mean, what would be too many slides? What would be not enough slides? - Or is that? - It just depends. It depends, you know, again, it's knowing your audience, knowing your host, you know. For me, I do about a slide a minute. And so I send my slides and my notes to the host. - All right. - Beforehand. - Okay. - There's no surprises. I'll write a full manuscript and say, "Hey, here's what God put on my heart for your church. Hey, what do you think about this?" - Yeah. - It's fine. I'm not sure. I'd rather not say something crazy to 20,000 people. - Yes, then.

- Then they say it for a service and you're like, "Hey, Ryan, we need to talk." - That's right. - That's right. - Oh, my bet. So it's like, you can circumvent a lot by just sending things ahead. So I'll send 48 to 60 slides to every client. - Really? - And there's notes of, "Hey, I paid attention on our call." - Yes. - Here's the things that are important. Here's the CEO quote slide. "And there's been times where they go, "Hey, you missed the mark." That's my bet, but I'm glad I missed it before I got on stage. - Yeah. - 'Cause I can fix that. - That's right. - 98% of the time they're like, "We never get this." - Okay, so when you're doing slides, Ryan, are you, are they just kind of showing up on the side screens or the middle screen, whatever you're doing? - So you're not, are you saying slide one, slide two? No, you're saying that.

It's like, it's just like. - No, no, I'm from this past weekend. - Okay. - I talked about how to get what you really want. And there's what you think you want, but what you really want is to make an impact, and make a difference in somebody's life. And I think the best way to do that is by being a giver. - Yes. - Hey, so today I'm gonna give you three things to do to start 'cause a lot of people are just like, "I don't even know where to begin." So I'm gonna give you three actions to start with today. Number one, start with choosing your reputation. - Okay, and then I talk about Paul, where he wrote to the church of Corinth about the church in Macedonia. It says they're very poor, but they're abundant in joy, and that has turned into rich generosity. - That's right. - So how are very poor people have a reputation for generosity 'cause of what's in their heart? All right, so you've chosen your reputation, choose your standard. You may not like my standard, but I have a Jesus standard. Luke 630, you have to everyone who asks of you, which is absolutely insane, but that's what it's all insane. - That's right. - For a perfect man to die for imperfect people,

it's all crazy. So if you're following Jesus, you signed up to be a little inconvenient. So what would that look like, and I fleshed that out? The other thing is you should choose a number. You should choose an actual number. People look at me like, what? - Yeah, you should start by choosing a number. Not at the end of the year, let me figure out my tax situation. At the beginning of the year, you go, Lord, this is a number that I'd like to give to your kingdom this year. Let's pick a number. It's like, why would we pick a number? Well, Apostle Paul says, each one should give as they have decided in their hearts. - That's right. - Have you even made a decision? Or you will just know what they asked for today? - Right. - So I think, okay, I'm gonna give you three things to pray about. You know, I gotta think about my reputation, the kind of home I wanna raise, the kind of marriage I wanna have. I wanna think about, where did I actually get my standard? Am I getting there from Charles Schwab? Am I getting there from the economy? Am I getting there from, you know, a budget person, which those people are great,

but instead of Jesus standard, like if I'm a Christ follower? And then I'm thinking thirdly, like, what's gonna be our number? - What a great message. - Because you will never be that generous if you don't budget it. So make it a part of your budget. - It's brilliant. - And so then I just say, do you have a God honoring plan for your budget? - I like mine, but you should have a God honoring plan for me. - And you're having the slides are just-- - The slides are coming up on the side. So, and again, you can see people pull up their phones and then take a picture, okay, start with shoes, start with. So, and you can even see even like people will share on social media. Here are the three things I'm gonna do here today. So it gives-- - That's what, that's great advice. - It gives them a takeaway. And it's the same thing in corporate America. I'll say, hey, I wrote a book called How to Work with Complicated People. - Yes. - I'll say, hey, today I'm gonna give you four strategies on how to work with complicated people. There's a lot more than four, but we only got time for four. You wanna have to read the book to get the other eight. - All right.

So, Brian, I like to, so when you speak in all of your engagements, church, the corporate, whatever, you try to say, which I love, three things for it. You usually will say that or-- - Yeah. - See, I like that too. Sometimes I first speakers say, no, you just kinda, and it's just a great, I know some are awesome to do that. - Sure. - I tend to three, two, five, whatever. - I think it respects your audience's time. - That's great. - Because they're going, how long are we gonna be here? Like I heard somebody go, hey, you know, I'm gonna give you 11 things and I'm like 11, okay. Well, however long one takes-- - That's right. - They're gonna do the math. - Brian, you are preaching to the choir. - Does that make sense? - Yes. - So even if you say I have three things, and the first thing took 20 minutes, you're like-- - I got another 40 to be here. We're gonna be here all day. So I just think it respects your audience and to let them know. Here's how long-- - You know what I do, Brian?

And maybe you can coach me here. I sometimes will not say three or four. I might say, I wanna give you several things. - Sure, yeah. - Number one, that way it might be two. - Yeah. - But you're right though. Man, if it's like three things and the first thing took 20 minutes, it's like-- - Yeah. - Okay, what's the magic time? Now I'm gonna talk to preachers. What's the magic time, Brian? 'Cause you've seen it all. What's the magic time, the magic number? 'Cause you're a great communicator. Is it 20 minutes? Is it 40 minutes? What do you, is it an hour? I mean, what do you think? - Okay, so I just did, I think I did eight weekends in a row for eight different churches as pastors are on sabbatical. Okay, each of them have a different sermon time that they give me. - That's funny, from what to what? - 55 to 30. Sometimes they're like, hey, service one, you've got 30, service two, because of time changes. - Right, right, right, right.

- You got to send this one to the other campus. - Yes, yes, yes, yeah. - Saturday night service, Friday night service, you know, some are saying, hey, we want service in under an hour. Some say, hey, we try to really hit the 110. - Okay. - Some people say, hey, I wanna hit, it's two hours, they're gonna take their time. So it just depends, it really comes down to your audience. - Yeah. - You know, it's a, if you've got a church like yours that is an invitation heavy church, I think you've just got to be considerate of the person in that audience that is, their attention span for the gospel is actually pretty short. - Yes, it is. - So I think you've just, you've just got to be considerate of, of what's going on here. but whatever time they put on that clock. - You got it. - Don't run that red light. - That's the truth, isn't it? - Yeah, don't run that red light. And so there's, in some churches, all they have all kinds of different problems. You might have a parking issue. And it's like, - That's right. - Children's people are waiting on you. The people in the parking lot are waiting on you

for the next service. And so I always think, if I have a 40 minute or 45 minute message, can I make my main points in less time? The answer is always yes. - That's great. - So. - Say that one more time, Ryan. That, that. - You can always say it in less than a slide. - So what the hell? - Whatever you can say in 45 minutes, if you can't say it in 35 minutes, you're not that good of a community. And then there's parts of, so for example, I always speak at this church called Eagle Brook Church. Eagle Brook Church is up in Minneapolis. I don't know, second, third largest church in America. I was teaching pastor there for four or five years. You hand in a full manuscript before every weekend and it's reviewed by a bunch of pastors. - Oh my gosh. - At first I was like, what are you to tell me? - Yeah, right, right. - Now I'm weird without it. Because a few things, one, they would say, hey, you, and I went to school in Minneapolis. So I know, I know the city for a while. And I was like, oh, there is this lake

that we would go to every summer and it was Lake Hiawatha. They said, hey, don't say Lake Hiawatha. I said, why? They said there was a big scandal with Indians. They had to change the name of it. They said, if you would have said that in front of 30,000 people, you've been on a trail. So I'm like, thank you for sharing that. One time I had a story in there about my father. And it's a very, very heartfelt story. It was about 10 minutes long. And they said, phenomenal story. It's just too long. Cut it in half. They were right. Like that's the part for a lot of communicators is that ego thing? It's like, it's my story, it's about my dad, it's about my son, and you can kind of, but again, you're falling for the trap of making it about you. - That's right. Okay, talk to me about the introduction, Ryan. The introduction you would give in a church setting or a corporate setting, would they be different? Okay, let's say you're talking about kindness in church. Do you have kind of an introduction? - No, I'm not saying the exact introduction, but I mean, and then if you took that talk and then went to the Mavericks or whatever,

how would you always do the same? - It's audience, it's audience reading. I can't overemphasize audience. - Okay, for example, you're at a church. It's time to talk about kindness. And you know the audience. - So for the last eight that I just did. - Right. - Some churches are, you gotta honor the pastor for five minutes at the beginning of the lesson. - Yes, I understand that. - You see what I understand. - So you're like, that kills your intro. - It does. - Because you've, so I've had, so I asked the pastor before I go, "Hey, you know I honor you, do you want me?" Because there's been times where I've honored the pastor and they're just like, can you get on with it? You're the fourth guest of Lincoln. - That's right. - You're taking up precious time. So I'll say, "Hey, I love your pastors." Open your Bibles and Matthew five. (laughing) He just was like, he didn't give this like, you know. - Massive like honoring and tells a 20 minute story about how this pastor blessed my life. I was like, I can tell them that story. But this is about the people that are in the room. Sometimes it depends on how well the audience knows me

or doesn't. Does it my first time? Is it my second time? - That's right. - So I just did Global Leadership Summit. I think I did a different intro the first time I did it, whereas this past week when I did Global Leadership Summit, I was talking about a new book that I wrote called Stay Culture. How the best leaders keep it right, people? - Well, my first opening line was, "Have you ever had somebody quit "and you had to pretend to be sad about it?" And you just watch people go, and then everyone starts laughing. It was a slow laughing, but those were my very first words. - I love that. - Because some people are like, "You're leaving? "I am so..." - Yeah. - The straws that you would not want to work for me. And what are we gonna do without you? You didn't dream about them leaving. And so, and then I talked about, "Hey, but have you ever had somebody leaving? "You didn't see it coming?" - Yes. - And they talked about you on the way. So right away within that first minute, I created a tension that they're like, "People are laying there and they're laughing."

- That's right. - So, but it just depends. - You know, sometimes it's a, I always love talking to the unchurched person if it's in church. I always want to make-- - I do too. - Comfortable with me. - Yes. I can guarantee you today's message is going to end value to your life. - Hey, you may never have forgiven in your church in your entire life. You still should choose your reputation. - Ryan, the best person I've ever heard. No one even comes close to this guy. And he's controversial. Bill Hybels, the best ever at talking to the unchurched. And the reason Bill could do that was because he actually spent time and actually loved- - Unchurch people. - Unchurch people. - And passage we want to, but we're so inundated with the business of church. And we want, but then we started to preach just for the front row, going back, don't we? And it's like, oh man, I gotta do this message and it's going to be really sexy with Hebrew and Greek and whatever, and they're like, I mean, you know, talk to the, we have a thing in our church, Ryan.

We built our church, our culture around a table. The pastor is the dude with the food who's the communicator who's serving the food and bread of life. John chapter six verse 35, and the creative and compelling way. Chair one would be the person clueless. Mo, chair two would be someone who's just stepped over the line. Chair three is the full court follower of Christ. So we always say whether we're dealing with preschool, whether we're dealing with all people, no matter what, have you spoken to the chairs? And that's what I try to do when I speak. - That's awesome. - I do okay. - I love that. - Okay, Ryan, tell me the right way to shoot a basketball. You know I'm very ADD, okay? Tell me, I'm watching it and I'm like, I know this Ryan guy can play all American. How do I shoot the ball? How can I teach my kids how to shoot the ball? - I would say watch Clay Thompson. (laughing) - That's good. - I mean, it's just, you got a guide hand, you get your other hand, I'll eat it. - That's right. - You just like that thing. - That's right.

And I heard it said back in the day, you need to make a goose neck. - Oh yeah. - A goose neck. - We tell my kid, get the cookie out the cookie jar. That's right. - Yeah, you do. - All right. My, I, I changed my shot. - You did? - In the ninth grade, not 'cause you care or anyone does. But my, my college coach, believe it or not, in the ninth grade, came up to me and he said, man, I think you have a future. He goes, I, if you keep going, I'm gonna, I'm gonna assign you the ball. - Okay. - He said, but you need a different shot. And I know you've seen this, but you go here. - Yeah. - You hold the ball, turn it like it's on a tray. - Yeah. - You have a little bit of room here. - Yeah, you have a little space there. - That's right. And just as you said, this is the guide hand. - Yeah. - And he always told me the shot begins in your toes, goes up, bam. - Cash.

- And yeah, but, so many people. - Yeah. - Even today, Ryan, don't know the proper way to shoot a basketball. - Yeah. - I mean, I think it's getting better. - And now they do, now they do. - 'Cause they watch this podcast. - Any other basketball tips, what, what's something else? - Okay, so you obviously get a great jump shot. Let me hear some more tips. I love dribbling. - I think basketball is, you know, my son, my son's here. He has, he plays on a bunch of different teams. And there was a, there's a kid on his team. He goes, coach, I don't, I don't really want to play offense. I just, I just want to play defense and rebound. And I said, that's exactly what we need from you. Like we need you to be driven on green, you know? So I think a lot of, a lot of like sports tips is like, play your role, find out what your role is. - Do you ever coach you to the teams? - Oh yeah. - Oh yeah. - I love doing that. When I have time, you know, I'll step in and do skills training with them. - So you're going to be Dave Ron Green. - You know, I mean, I don't know about-- - You open up to the same, Ryan.

- Draymond Green. - Draymond, Draymond Green. - Draymond Green, yeah. - Draymond, I'm sorry, Draymond. - He's probably going to watch this. - But yeah, I just, I try to be involved as much as I can. - Yeah. - All right. The ages of your kids-- - 11 and seven. - 11 and seven, those are great ages, man. - Oh yeah. - That's great. - Yeah. - And you guys have been married that many years? - We've been married 13 years, going on 14. - Excellent. - And your wife originally is from where, Ryan? - Chicago, Illinois. - Okay. - Oh yeah. - The Windy City. - The Windy City. We were just there for a global leadership summit that Bill Hyvel started by the land. - Yeah. - Yeah, we were just there celebrating, getting ready to turn 40. So I'm looking forward to that. - That's excellent.

- Ryan, I can't, I've heard so much about you and it's so great to meet you. - It's a pleasure to meet you. - I mean, I told my wife last night she goes, Ryan Lee, are you kidding me? Yes. - That's awesome. - No, but it's a pleasure and I want us to stay in touch and hang out and I can't play basketball anymore. We could play horse or something. I'll get beat. - Do you do golf? - I do some. - You do some. - I'm not good either. - I'm not good either. - Well, let's play, man. - But yeah, but it's a good time. Good time, man. You have added tremendous value to my life. You make me think about fishing for men every single day. - Well, I appreciate what you have done. Over the years, through criticism, I know you and your wife have endured a lot to be who you are. So thank you for paying those prices. - And you know what's interesting about the ministry? I said this this week, when we have a target to attack, which of course is glorifying God, that target will move to our back sometimes. And we live in an interesting world, don't we, Ryan?

Where? - If you go on social media, which we love social media and technology and everything, but one of the struggles is that thing called envy, which we don't talk about a lot. - Sure. - It's like, okay, I'm envious of him. God, why did you bless him or give him that opportunity and not me? So I'm really, when I'm envious, I become a fan of your failure and I'm sad over your success. - Wow. - And so much of that that we're seeing, 'cause I've been talking to our students lately, there's a lot of that out there, as opposed to what your message is and what my message prayerfully is, hey, I wanna celebrate you. I wanna encourage you. You run your specific race. You chase after your specific target, as opposed to, I mean, you be you. If you're not you, who's gonna be you? - Yeah, I think what we need to do right now is we need to put up a slide that says, you know, you could end up being, well, is it a fan of your, 'cause that was a whole bar. - A fan?

- That was a whole bar. I hope that's a slide. - A fan of, if I'm envious, I'm a fan of your failure and I'm sad over your success. - We need to put that. I hope that is like at a lower third. - Next time I do that, I'm gonna do a slide on that. - Yeah, you got, you know what they would call it? You can call it slide worthy. They would go through the main schedule. - Oh, this has to be a slide worthy. - Slide worthy. - Slide worthy. - So that was awesome. - But Ryan, listen man, thank you. - Yeah. - How can we get, like I know all your books, just as anywhere books are sold, correct? - No, books are sold, yeah. Ryanleak.com, that's- - Ryanleak.com. - Ryanleak. - That sounds like a basketball name too. - Uh oh. - That's good by Ryan Leak. - Oh yeah, oh yeah. And it's been awesome getting to hang out with you today. - Well, it's been my pleasure. Ryan Leak.

- Thank you. - We'll be seeing some more from him. - I love it. (upbeat music) (gentle music) [BLANK_AUDIO]