The Parent's Seats | Tyrone P. Jones | A Seat At The Table

Good morning. It's good to be in the house of God. Hey, Happy Father's Day to all you dads out there. It's a good day to be a dad. Well, if you guys will rise as we get ready for worship. If you're new here, we'd love to get to know you, try to serve you in any way that we can. So if you're watching online, there should be a digital connect card that you can click. If you're here in person and you're new, you can go to the lobby, go to the connect table. You can walk through things like baptism, learning more about our church, whatever your next steps are in your faith. So, well, before we get into worship, we're going to open up the word scripture that we have for today is Psalm 23 one, which says the Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want another translation. NLT says the Lord is my shepherd. I have all that I need. So how many know that being in the presence of God, it's hard to need anything else. It's hard to want anything else. So my message for you this morning is simple. The presence of God precedes the promises of God. So we're going to get in his presence and we're going to let him take care of everything else. Sound good. Let's pray. Father, thank you so much for this morning. Thank you for all the dads that you brought in this room, the grandparents that you brought in this room, the generations of faith that you're establishing and working about in this flock. God, I pray that all the fathers this morning would hear of the good news, that they would turn towards you, God, that they would be excited about the work that you're doing in them, Lord, that you would convict us, that the seeds that you plant in each of us would

be watered and grow. Father, I pray that we all can just lean into your presence, that we would just kneel down at your throne and worship, be excited about being in the house today, Lord. We love you so much. Thanks for being the best dad ever. In Jesus name we pray. The church said, amen. Let's worship. Before I encounter Christ, I don't walk on the street, I don't talk on the street, I don't wash from the inside, I don't wash from the inside. Hallelujah, hallelujah. No one has the power to break me down. Hallelujah, hallelujah. No one has the power to hold me up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I cannot explain that nothing's more real than this, or the presence of God, or what my heart experienced. When my sin hit the wayside, when my sin hit the most high, I've been washed from the inside. I've been washed from the inside. Hallelujah, hallelujah. No one has the power to break me down. Hallelujah, hallelujah. No one has the power to hold me up. The Word of Jesus. It was only one word that saved us. Oh, He's the Redeemer. Let me tell you, it's only by the blood It's never been about deserving or earning So if there's freedom at play Let me tell you, it's only by the blood It's never been about deserving or earning So if there's freedom at play Let me tell you, it's only by the blood

Does anybody wanna be holy and righteous Purified and spotted? Let me tell you, it's only by the blood Does anybody wanna be worthy, forgiven, justified, relieved? Let me tell you, it's only by the blood Hallelujah, hallelujah I know it was the blood, could have only been the blood Hallelujah, hallelujah I know it was the blood, could have only been the blood I know it was the blood of Jesus We thank you for the blood We thank you for your blood Hallelujah Hallelujah I know it was the blood, could have only been the blood Hallelujah, hallelujah I know it was the blood, could have only been the blood I know it was the blood, could have only been the blood I know it was the blood, could have only been the blood I know it was the blood, could have only been the blood Here is where I lay it down, every burden heavy This is my surrender, this is my surrender Here is where I lay it down, every lie and every pain This is my surrender, and I will make room for you To do whatever you want to, to do whatever you want to And I will make room for you To do whatever you want to, to do whatever you want to We will make room for you Here is where I lay it down, every burden heavy This is my surrender, this is my surrender Here is where I lay it down, every lie and every doubt

This is my surrender, and I will make room for you To do whatever you want to, to do whatever you want to Whatever you want to, and I will make room for you To do whatever you want to, to do whatever you want to And I will make room for you To do whatever you want to, to do whatever you want to And I will make room for you To do whatever you want to, to do whatever you want to Jesus Oh have your way Lord, have your way oh Jesus Make room in my heart Lord, make room in my mind Lord My space is yours Jesus Shake up the crowns of all my tradition Break down the walls of all my religion Your way is better, Your way is better Shake up the crowns of all my tradition Break down the walls of all my religion Your way is better, Your way is better Shake up the crowns of all my tradition Break down the walls of all my religion Your way is better, Your way is better Shake up the crowns of all my tradition Break down the walls of all my religion Your way is better, Your way is better And I will make room for you To do whatever you want to, to do whatever you want to And I will make room for you To do whatever you want to, to do whatever you want to Jesus Jesus

Who thought I'd find you at the lowest place Who thought you'd fill me in the crowd Who knew you'd make good on my mistakes You're nothing like I thought you were, you're better What a God, what a God What a God, what a God It's who you are What a God, what a God What a God, what a God I thought you were so forthright Cause what kind of God is what you are They say it's over for us now But we'll be here soon again No it's not, no it's not You say, no it's not, no it's not What a God, what a God What a God, what a God What a God, what a God Come on church, let's turn our attention to the screen as something goes public with their faith. My name is Lawrence. Before I gave my life to Jesus, my relationship with God was one of convenience. I would only seek Him when I needed something and rarely acknowledge Him for all that He has given me. I led a life of self-reliance. I was quick to anger, unforgiving, lustful and proud. My heart was hardened and I carried a lot of bitterness. I've been attending the Church of the City on and off for a year and a half. Through conversations with Jose de Leon, I began to understand who Jesus truly was and what it means to be born again.

In a sermon by Pastor Tyrone said, you could be the hearer of the word or doer of the word. He explained that delayed obedience is still disobedience. In that moment, I surrendered my life to Jesus. Since giving my life to Jesus, things have been different. It's easier to let go of resentment, hurt and bitterness. Ephesians 4.32, be kind, compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as Christ forgave you. Today, I not only have my son back, but two amazing grandsons. I feel a sense of freedom that I've never had before. God continues to transform my heart every day. Today, I'm going public with my faith. Lawrence, Jesus said every disciple should be baptized in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. And because of your confession of faith, today I baptize you in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ for the remission of your sins. And according to Scripture, you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. Come on, shout hallelujah, let's rejoice. If the highest place I reached is at your feet, then I've done it all. If the best thing that I've seen is your glory, then I've seen it all. Your love has changed my life, forever satisfied God, you are my everything. If the highest place I reached is at your feet, then I've done it all. If the best thing that I've seen is your glory, then I've seen it all. Your love has changed my life, forever satisfied God, you are my everything. If one word is the only thing, then I've heard it all. If I feel your heart and never see your hand, I still have it all. No treasure of this life could ever satisfy God, you are my everything. Oh God, you are my everything. Oh God, you are my everything. What it got, what it got. What it got, what it got.

What it got, what it got. I see your faithfulness. What it got, what it got. If the highest place I reached is at your feet, then I've done it all. If the best thing that I've seen is your glory, then I've seen it all. Your love has changed my life, forever satisfied God, you are my everything. If one word is the only thing, then I've heard it all. If I feel your heart and never see your hand, I still have it all. No treasure of this life could ever satisfy you, Lord. You are my everything, oh, Lord. You are my everything, oh, Lord. You are my everything, my whole life. For Your glory, my whole world. For You are my everything. For the honor of Your name. It is my debt to tell the story, let it be. Love You are my everything. For the honor of Your name. You are my everything, my whole life. For Your glory, my whole world. For You are my everything. For the honor of Your name. It is my debt to tell the story, let it be. Love You are my everything. For the honor of Your name. You know how I love You. Yeah. You know how I love You, Jesus. I love You. You know how I love You.

Yeah. You know how I love You, Jesus. Wake up, wake up. Wake up, wake up. Wake up, wake up. Wake up, wake up. The highest place I've reached is at Your foot. And I've done it all. If the best thing that I've seen is You, Lord, then I've seen it all. Your love has changed my life. Forever satisfied, God. You are my everything. If one word is the only thing You say, then I've heard it all. If I feel Your heart and never see Your hand, I still have it all. No treasure of this life could ever satisfy, God. You are my everything. Oh, God. You are my everything. You are my everything. Come on, let's give it up for the Lord. He is, He is, He is our everything. Before you greet one another, this has been happening every service. I, fellow with the black cap on, yeah, white shirt, I don't know you. What's his name? Bernie.

When I turned around and saw you, I just saw people around you, and you were just giving stuff out. I don't know what it, maybe you have a, maybe you're a generous guy. Maybe you're the guy that'd rather give stuff than get stuff, but have a generous heart. But I tell you what it led to. There's a sensitivity that you have with the Lord. So much so, Bernie, I'm just going to say this. You could break emotionally at any time because God has proven His love to you. When this song says, your love has changed my life, your life is changing, and it's changing by the love of God. It's changing because you're putting yourself in a place to learn more about Him. Now here's what I'm going to say, and the Lord will have to prove it, but there is a word calling on you. And you got stuff to teach people from life. Not all of it is good. You've had life experiences, but you can teach people. You got things that teach people in life from things that you've learned. Some maybe from community, some over a period of time. But the Bible says,

there's a verse in the Bible where it says, people will bring out treasures, old and new. Old and new. old and new. I'm telling you, Bernie, God approved it in time. You put yourself in a position to let this be fulfilled. And this may shock you, but don't let it scare you. There's a word ministry that God has given in you that you're going to be bringing out treasures old and new to help people's life to become where God wants them to be. May the Lord bless you with that. All right, everybody, time for a minute to mingle. Turn to the person next to you. Welcome them to be in the house of God. Well, welcome to Church for the City, where we'll teach the word of God, where we'll encounter the presence of the Lord. Can we give it up for the worship team? They certainly have led us in the place of his presence and also will spread the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ. And so I'm thankful. How many are glad to be in God's house? Amen. Amen, amen, amen. So I do want to say happy Father's Day to all the fathers. God bless you, and may the Lord continue to bless you to do what he has gifted you to do. I do want to thank you all for praying. There were several of us out, Tyrone and Abel were in India, and great report from the work over there. Me and John Strach were in Slovakia. That really turned out to be much more fruitful than I had anticipated. The team had already been there and let me know what the heart was and what they think. The heart for us at CTC, engaging with the Roma people there in Slovakia. But for me to see it with my own eyes, to see the heart of the people, it is certainly a place where I think the Lord will give us some long-term investment to help those, that Roma people, that Roma people group, and the increase of churches in that community. I really believe the Lord has laid out a plan for that. So thank you for that, and you'll hear more about that as we move along. I also, I believe maybe some of the folks that was on the panel last Sunday, I was really blessed to see what was happening in each service.

OJ and Candy, I think, done a phenomenal job of really leading that panel through. And the couples that were on stage, Will and Amanda Mason, Tony and Amy Battasoli, Mike and Connie Sharp, Brandon and Jessica Thayer, Eddie and Sandra Orozco, Jeannie and Isaiah Wong. I believe I saw Isaiah just and Jeannie a minute ago. Thank you guys so much for allowing yourself to be there and to be vulnerable. And in case you don't know, it is not easy to be up here in front of all of y'all. I mean, it just ain't all that easy, but to be able to do that and share their story, I thought was fantastic. So I'm so thankful for that. I'm going to share some things, just an impetus of my book, Grip by Hope, and my message today. I want to also let you know the book is available for $15, I believe, $14.99. If you haven't read Grip by Hope, I'm going to encourage you to. There's a QR code there, or you can just tap, actually, and order the book. It'll be delivered right to your home. And again, you'll read stories and things about me that really will let you know a little bit more about me and the real foundation of what I believe of God is in that. So I encourage you, if you haven't read Grip by Hope, to take an opportunity to do so. All right, the men, we're on the retreat this weekend, and had a great, great time, great testimonies. We got a video to show the men at the campground in Williams. ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ I'm just so, been so blessed by hearing what a spiritual impact. They'd done fun stuff, of course, also, and had activities. But the impression that everyone is sharing is just how deep that they were all able to go on a personal level spiritually. I want to thank Chris Lerma for his leadership with that men's group. I know Elder David taught Pastor Bob Metcalf, taught Brandon Sorrell's lead worship. Many of them shared just fantastic and just a real good precursor, I think, of what God is going to do in preparation of our men's conference for the fall.

So, well done and so grateful for all of you that could attend. All right, for generosity, anytime you come into the building, there's an opportunity to give, and I'm thankful for that. It was your giving also, we were able to deliver 100 wallets and, man, multi-packs of socks to the men at Crossroads Mission for Father's Day. So thank you so much for giving. But again, it's your generosity that really helps us do what the Lord has commissioned us to do and help us to do as a church, which really is having an impact around the world. It is true, God doesn't need money, but the church does. The church does what it does because of your giving. So thank you for your giving. Thank you for being obedient and tithing and offerings that allows us to have an impact in people's lives and continue to expand the gospel. Amen? All right, why don't you take your Bible, let's go to two psalms. Two psalms. We're going to look at psalms. You can stand. Yeah, take your Bible and stand. There you go. Amen. Psalm 78 and Psalm 128. Psalm 78 and Psalm 128, we're going to read a portion of Psalm 78, and then we'll read all of Psalm 128. Here's the word of the Lord. This one was written by Asaph. It says, give ear, O my people, to my teaching. Incline your ears to the words of my mouth. I will open my mouth in a parable.

I will utter dark things from of old, things that we have heard and known that our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, but tell them to coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord and his might and the wonders that he has done. He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers to teach to their children, that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children, so that they should set their hope in God and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments, that they should not be like their fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation, a generation whose heart was not steadfast, whose spirit was not faithful to God. That's Psalm 78. Now, Psalm 128, it's six verses here. Blessed is everyone who fears the Lord, who walks in his ways. You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands. You shall be blessed, and it shall be well with you. Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house. Your children will be like olive shoots around your table. Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the Lord. The Lord bless you from Zion. May you see the prosperity of Jerusalem all the days of your life. May you see your children's children. Peace be upon Israel. So, Father, reading of the word, can you say amen? Father, thank you for this opportunity we have to share the word of God. I pray, Lord, that you will anoint what's being spoken. It is without a doubt that you want to speak to everyone in this room. You want to speak to everyone who will watch, everyone who will listen. And, Lord, I pray that we are all open to hear what the spirit of the Lord is saying

and what the word of God is saying. That we may walk away, take some application, some things that we can put into our life that will indeed draw us closer to you and make us better. That we may all become the people that you have called us to be. Father, I thank you for it. In Christ's name we pray. May the people of God say amen. Men, you may be seated. We're in this series of seat at the table and we began with setting the table and we talked about the foundation that all of our life should be established on a biblical foundation. And then last week, you saw the panel and heard from them on being seated. together which was marriage. Today I want to talk about the parent seat, the seat of a parent. I have three brothers that live in Columbia, South Carolina, Dion, Beanie Otis, and Mikael. I'm older than all of them, but Dion, Mikael, and Victor. And Mikael probably comes to Yuma almost every year. Dion and Victor certainly have come on a few occasions. But what is, and I of course stay in communication, talk to him quite a bit. But what I truly love is being in the room with him, being present, because they are all storytellers. They all tell wonderful stories. My wife can tell you, my kids can tell you. They are just some of the greatest storytellers on the planet. And when they tell a story, it doesn't matter if I've heard that story five times or 10 times.

Every time they tell the story, they tell it the same way every time. You know how some people over years stories change and they went from catching a two pound bass to a world record breaker in 20, no. They tell the same story, they tell it the same way every time. But they tell it in such a manner that you're drawn into the story like it's the first time you heard it. The way they laugh, the way they tell it, the dramatics that they have in telling the story. You're involved in that story as if it's the first time, like you're anticipating something's gonna end differently and it's the same, but you love hearing it every single time. Now, that I like about them because just a manner of telling. But the real reason why I really like hearing them telling stories is because I hear about my family. Because I was raised here in Yuma on the matriarchal side. They were raised by my dad on the patriarchal side. And so the only things that I know about my family is what I hear them tell me, the stories that they tell. So I learn from them the reason what our legacy is. I hear about our heritage, I hear about the way my grandparents were and the way my dad parented.

And again, what life was like for them on the farm, what life was like for them with the dairy farm and et cetera, their sports. But learning those things, not only about my family, but I learn a lot of things about me. So I know why I'm a lot like my dad, but I didn't know my dad in that manner. But when they tell stories about my dad, I will say, oh man, that's me. That's how I act. That's how I would respond. That's probably what I do. Matter of fact, Virginia is so used to it now. If I do certain things, oh, that's just like your daddy. She never met my daddy, but she heard the stories and been told that that's just like that. When I walk out, you walking out just like your daddy. You know, those kinds of things. It lets me know why I am the way that I am. And bless the heart of my children that have had to live through them knowing how I am and knowing why I am the way that I am. Now, Psalm 78, that's the emphasis of that particular psalm. The psalmist is saying, listen, the only way this generation and the next generation is gonna know about the things of God is that we have to tell the stories.

If the stories aren't told, they're not gonna know the great things that God has done. They're not gonna know about the wonders of God. They're not gonna know what it was like to be in bondage in Egypt and what it was like for God to bring us out of bondage and what it was like to go through the wilderness and to see the miraculous things that God has done. Their eyes had not seen that. The only way they're gonna know those things is if the stories are told. So we have to tell the story so they'll know how to trust in God, so they'll know how to depend upon God, so they'll know that the promises of God are to his progeny, to all of his people. And then there's a fruit of that which we'll deal with in Psalm 128. But what Psalm 78 is emphasizing is the verbal transmission of this is relied upon to be done by the parents. The parents are the one that have to tell the story to the children. Now, they're gonna put 78, four through eight on the screen again in A New Living, and I won't reread it, but he tells them the truth need to be told to the children, the wonders of God, the miracles of God. We're commanded as ancestors to do that. As a matter of fact, he does not say that.

He talks about how critical it is. Because he says if they don't know these things Then there'll be a whole generation that is raised without God and they'll become a rebellious people They'll become a people who will live as if God doesn't exist So he tells them how critical this is and he basically says this is not optional for us as parents This is mandated. This is something that we are required to do as people of God And so what Psalm 78 lines out really is the seats that parents sit in the chairs They're not necessarily physical chairs but their positions of influence that that we as parents we Occupy that space and the question is not whether we will that whether you're influencing your children The question is what kind of influence are you doing from the seat that you occupy? How are you influencing them from that seat because every one of us seat sits in a seat of influence and and and we have to constantly Understand that everything we do our children are listening They're learning They're watching They're absorbing. You can't avoid the influence parent. You can't avoid it You can only choose what kind of influence that you're going to have and so the scripture Teaches us that the influence that we have ought to be how to teach the children how to live how to love What not to tolerate what to stand up for what to stand against and how to model that? there was a principal who was telling me a story about a graduation and It was kind of a negative story, but it prompted me to ask him the question Well, what what is the saddest thing that you have seen take place at a graduate at a graduation? And I I thought he was gonna reference Similar to what he had just shared Maybe it's something that somebody done on the stage or maybe someone who didn't graduate that You know had all the potential and just didn't do it but actually what he said is the saddest thing I've seen is when people come across this stage and

These students look look for people loved ones parents and look at a certain seat and see that they're not there That's the saddest thing that I've seen as a principal and and that that is the truth because again We all do things for for our children and some gifts. They will forget some vacations Of course, they'll have some memories about They'll even over a period of time forget about some certain rules But but they won't forget when you were present They won't forget when you listen They won't forget when you prayed for them, they won't forget when you showed up Psalm 78 is encouraging us that we are responsible for the next Generation and we got a seat of influence that we need to sit in to be sure that this generation that we're raising up Will be another generation that connects with God now there. I'm gonna talk about four seats I could talk about more Three of these seats are certainly on the negative and again you can think you can think you can think of more seats But here's seats that we can occupy and maybe you're in one of these seats now. The first one is the seat of abdication The seat of abdication and when I say abdication, I don't mean that you're not present Meaning you're not in the home. You're not with your child and I don't mean that you've abandoned the responsibilities say of making sure they got food making sure they got clothing and You know full of activities, but what I'm talking about is Abandoning the role of spiritual leadership that your responsibility besides providing them food present but providing them shelter and clothing etc is also to be the spiritual leader and Oftentimes we abdicate that responsibility We give that responsibility to others and and so what happens with that we start expressing Spiritual disengagement So yeah, we're there with them. We're providing these things, but we're not engaging with them spiritually we're not teaching them the things of God and and what I've heard people say when when their kids get older and they start getting a little wayward or even when they're getting to their 20s and life on their own and they start making bad decisions or even in their 30s and And life isn't they're not doing the things that the parents desire. This is what I hear parents come and say to me I don't know why Billy is acting that way because I raised him in church. Can I say so what? So what

Raising them in church is not the same as spiritual engagement Raising them in church is not the same as having conversations about spiritual truths Raising them in churches is not walking away from a sermon like today and say man. Let's just kind of Talk about that, what does that mean to you? What does that mean to me? Spiritual engagement, walking them through the things that you know that they should be walked through for the sake of them understanding the God that you're placing them in front of. When we advocate that, what we're doing is we're allowing culture to disciple our child. We bring them to church, but let culture be the ones that disciple them. We bring them to church, but let the church do it, or the school do it. We bring them to church, but we let social media be the ones that really train the way they should think. Well, the scripture speaks to that in Deuteronomy 6, six and seven, and it says, these words I command you today shall be upon your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children. So the word of God is given to us that we may teach to our children. God places the responsibility on parents to intentionally shape their children's worldview through the word of God. We shape their worldview. We shape how they think. And when you hear conversations

that may be a different thought than you, then that's a wonderful time as a parent to say, hey, let's talk about that. And let's talk about that from the standpoint of what the scripture says about it instead of what that talking head on the news media just said, or what that TikTok video just showed you, or what your friends is liking on Facebook. Let's talk about what the word of God really says about that. Are y'all doing all right? Now, first and second service, we got through the message quite quickly. You know, because they said amen, they let me know they was responding. You know, this is the third service. I ain't got no place to go but walk right over there and get in my chair and take a nap. So y'all want to get with me? Can y'all get with me a little bit? All right. So he lets us know a child without spiritual leadership is going to be disciplined by someone else or discipled by someone else. That's the empty seat. Then there's the throne seat, the bullying seat, because some parents control, they lead by controlling. They lead through intimidation rather than inspiration. And I know the roots of this. I certainly personally know the roots of this.

Some of this comes from insecurity. If you're insecure in who you are, then you want to control how people think about what you want to teach them and what you want them to do because you're insecure. Or if you're trying to manage your image and you're concerned about how you're going to look to others, you try to manipulate and bully how people respond to things. Maybe you feel a little bit inadequate of guiding your children or encouraging your children. And so again, you operate from that control or intimidation because you feel inadequate encouraging and guiding, so you just kind of force it. Now, the result of that will be estrangement. And it doesn't mean that you won't still communicate with each other, but the relationship is just very shallow. And then the children never really learn what healthy leadership is of a family. Here's what Ephesians 6, 4 says. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Now, don't misunderstand this. The word provoke here is pretty strong. It doesn't mean that anything you do, you know, your children would get angry. You know, some kids wake up mad. You know, they just angry just because. You know, they want to be.

You in there fixing breakfast for them. Hey, I got breakfast for you, I don't want that. You know, they, so, but provoke is a stronger word meaning you continually do things from the wrong perspective that keeps pushing them further and further and further away. So he says, fathers, don't provoke your children to anger. Children are, they're meant to be raised in the Lord's instruction. Not according to cultural trends, not according to secular philosophies. They're not meant to be raised by even your personal preferences. God is, God is the authority or should be the authority of our life. And any of you know, as your relationship grows in the Lord, you know that God does not lead by domination. God works in our hearts and brings us to a place of respecting and honoring his authority. Jesus did that. He did that by expressing himself through humility. He also did it by expressing truth. Jesus did not change what was right for the sake of people accepting him. He still spoke truth and of course, there's always responses to you being on the side of truth and people not being. People will take on that mindset, well, that's your truth and that's my truth.

Well, there's only one truth and that's the B-I-B-L-E. Right, there's only one truth. And so we lead in that manner with truth, but also with love. And I'm not talking about this sappy. love like we got nowadays. I mean, the way the culture has defined love is, you know, I'm sorry for everything, it's okay, let's just make it work out. Love is like, just find a way to get along, to tolerate and to accept. That's not biblical love. Biblical love's got some boundaries. Biblical love is based in morality. Biblical love is based in integrity. Biblical love is based in righteousness. Biblical love is based in holiness. And you can't be concerned about the response on the other side, you can be loving and truthful and lead people to the place where Christ wants them to be. Are y'all doing all right? This last seat on the negative is the beanbag seat. And I know that when I said that, that I was dating myself, I don't know even nowadays if people use beanbags, but, you know, when I was growing up and broke and, you know, couldn't afford a couch, I could afford a beanbag and that would be in the living room. That would be in the bedroom. You could just flop around in a beanbag

because it was cheap. But the thing about beanbag, you know, is you can make that thing be shaped any way you want to. However you roll in it, however you want to lie in it, however you want to sit on it, you can shape it that way. Many parents parent from a beanbag mentality. It's just consent and consensus. I'll just roll with whatever you want me to roll with. Roll with that beanbag mentality. And the reason a lot of parents parent that way is because they're afraid of being rejected by their children. They're afraid of being rejected. That's the roots of it is the fear of rejection. Some parents are more concerned about their children being friends with them than they are about parenting them. They're more concerned about their children being their buddies. I'm going to tell you something. God did not give, you didn't give birth to children to be your buddies. Go find buddies your own age. Seriously, go find friends your own age. You didn't give birth to those kids to be your buddies, to be your friends. Now, of course, in time, friendship develops, but your job is to parent them, not to be a buddy to them with the fear of them rejecting you. Some people have that beanbag mentality

because they have an overreaction to harsh parenting. They don't want to be like their parents, so they overcorrect. They go from being under harsh parents to I ain't going to be like that, and anything goes, just long as Johnny is happy, long as Sally is happy. I don't want them to go through what I went through, and you have a tendency to overcorrect. And that leads, honestly, to an unwillingness to discipline. And I'm telling you, your fear is losing that relationship. That's your fear. And I'm going to tell you, whenever parents tell me the reason they did this, allowed this, or did this, is because they didn't want to lose the relationship, you know what my next words are? You already have. You already have. If you ever have to change what you know is right and moral with right character and godliness to hold on to any relationship, I ain't just talking about the children, I'm talking about the relationships you with, whether it be friends or whether it be boyfriend and girlfriend. Anytime you got to change yourself to keep that relationship, you've already lost it. You've already lost it. And so, what happens with this kind of beanbag mentality is the children become their own authority.

Because whatever they, they've been allowed to think whatever they think is right and whatever they think goes. They don't have much accountability. They don't have much understanding of submission or authority. Probably one of the saddest cultural things that I've had to view over the last few years, and you can see it on the news every day, with these mob violences and people having these fights in restaurants and just jumping on folks at the airport, is that we got a whole generation of people who have no regard for authority. No regard for authority whatsoever. They have no regard to understand what it means to be responsible for their actions. Can I just tell you something? That's our fault. That's our fault. We've raised a generation that we have just flopped around in a beanbag and we just want to make sure that we keep good relationships and keeps everybody on the same page. I'm going to just tell you something. Love is not the absence of boundaries. Love is the courage to establish boundaries. It's the courage to establish them. So here's what Proverbs 20 says. 226 says, train up a child in a way that he should go, and even when he's old, he will not depart from it.

Now, while this verse is not an absolute promise, the Scripture does tell us, it highlights the fact that when you got influenced with your children, if you train them and give them direction, let that direction inspire leadership, and that leadership even sometimes requires some correction, that you got a better chance of that child having principles from you and from the Word of God that will stay with them all of their life. Now, here's the positive seat, and that's the teaching seat. That's biblical parenting. Being reminded from the Psalm 78 that parents are called to sit in the teaching seat. Psalm 78, 5 through 8, again, it commands us to do this. And the passage emphasizes that we have a stewardship responsibility with our children to transmit God's truth. And whenever we fail to do that, we leave these children susceptible to rebellion. We leave them susceptible to unbelief. So you see the progression, actually, in Psalm 78, 5 and 8. There's four steps I see of progression. We know God. We tell our children they trust God, future generations follow God. So listen to what this is saying. We know God, talking about us. We know God. The things that we've heard, the things that we're listening to, the things that we're hearing, the things we're understanding in community, in our small groups, we know God. Now, I understand on the one hand, you might be new at this and just growing, and that's fine. But it doesn't stop you from doing the next thing, which is tell the children, tell them the things of the Lord.

And again, you may think, well, I don't know that much. I'm still learning. This is what I'm going to suggest you do. As you know, you make it known. As you know, you make it known. None of us can wait till we know everything and then start teaching our children. My grandchildren will have children before I can start doing that. None of us will know enough to say, well, I got it all down. Now, sit down, children. You're children coming in a wheelchair by that time. No, no. But you can start teaching as you go. You may learn something out of a devotion. Man, that's a thought you learn. Man, turn around and say, you know, I want to tell you this, George. Man, I was reading this in the Scripture, and this is what I learned from the Scripture. Or you learn something in your small group, and you just teach it. You can be in the living room, sitting down, watching a movie. You can be fixing breakfast together. You can be taking them to school. It's not even that it always has to be formal, sit down, get your Bible, get your highlighters, get your pen. You're all going to church school today. It don't even have to be that. But it's an intention. When I learn something, I'm going to teach it. I'm going to pass it down. I'm going to inform them.

When I know I make known, that's telling the generation that they may learn to trust God and to set their hope on God. This was a real impetus of me writing Grit by Hope because the stories I tell in there, all of those start out with some kind of challenge or something that I experienced or something that I went through where I had to learn how to trust in God in the midst of that. And there's a lot of things my children have heard, but those stories, they hadn't heard. Those are stories that they hadn't heard and to see how did he get through this from point A to point B? What it means to really hope in God in the midst of trials. Because every one of us know you're not going to live through no golden era, and you ain't raising your children through no golden era. All of our life goes through trials, tribulations, challenges, things that break us down, things that make us cry, things that have put us on our knees, things that will make us think that this is it, this is the thing that's going to take you out. But you got through it. You're here. You're celebrating. You're rejoicing. How did you get through it? Somewhere you got a grip of hope in God. You got a hold of God, and God got a hold of you. And it's those stories that we need to tell so that they may see, man, I know how daddy got through it. I know how grandma got through it. I know how granddad got through it, so I'm going to hold on to the Lord. I'm going to hope in him so that they learn to trust in God and future generations will follow God so the next generation might know.

If we don't do this, there's a real danger of us raising a generation. I'm talking about us church-going people raising a generation of children that don't know the Lord. We see the warning in Judges 2, verse 10, and there arose another generation after them who did not know the Lord or the work that he had done for Israel. They knew all the stories. They knew what God had done for them. but they didn't tell any of them to their children. They just went on with life, went on with life, with that mindset, well, they'll learn it for themselves. No, no, no, no. The only way they're gonna learn this is if you put them in a position to learn it, if you inspire them wanting to learn by telling them what God has done for you and how he's done it. The clearest examples of what we see here failing to do this is this spiritual amnesia that we see in Judges chapter 2.10. Nobody wakes up with the mindset to say, I know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna raise my children so they don't know nothing about God. Nobody intends to do that. But when we fail to do what God tells us to do, even though we didn't intend for rebellion to occur, that's what happens. Even though we didn't intend for our children to have spiritual amnesia, that's what happens because we neglect to use the influence

that God has given us. Hear this, every parent is establishing a legacy. You are establishing a legacy. The question is, what kind of legacy are you leaving? What kind of legacy are you actually establishing? And so hear this, our responsibilities is to teach God's word so that people hear the instruction. We model God's character so people see authenticity. And when I say model God's character, by no means is that perfection because none of us are perfect. Sometimes the best character modeling you can do is sitting down, tears in your eyes, I'm sorry, I was wrong. Modeling what you know that we've learned from Christ. Correcting with God's wisdom. People hear discipline and pointing constantly and continually to God's grace because that's what we all need. Every one of us needs the grace of God. Every one of us sitting here have experienced the grace of God. And as a matter of fact, I think it's an obligation for every one of us who have experienced God's grace to pass that on. To pass on the grace of God that we have experienced. So know this, what parents believe children are going to absorb. What parents celebrate, children will imitate. What parents neglect, children will lose.

What parents faithfully teach, God will use for the generation. The goal, children, the goal, dear ones, is this. The goal is not raising successful children. The goal is raising children who know God, who trust God, and actually pass it on to the generation. I'm telling you, I cringe when I know parents and know their children have went off to various places and school and went on in life and live in other places. Man, how's your children doing? How's George doing? Oh man, Pastor George is doing great. Man, he finished school, he's an engineer, and man, he's making more money than I made. Man, you ought to see his house in Rhode Island, his big house, and got a couple of kids, and him and Ruth aren't married, but he's doing great. When did that become success? When did success become how much money they're making and how nice their house is? When did success, sex, I almost said, that's just not the right message right now, but something's going on in my mind I shouldn't be thinking about, but anyway. But when does, I am going to take a nap, I am going to take a nap. When is success? Everybody all right, I got to get past this. When is success defined by those things instead of whether they know God,

and whether they trust God, and whether they live for God? Okay, I'm almost done. All right, so here, let me wrap this up with Psalm 128, because here's the prescription and the promise. If we follow Psalm 78, here it is, Psalm 128, one through six, it says, how joyful are those who fear the Lord, all who follow his ways. Listen to this, you will enjoy the fruit of your labor, how joyful and prosperous you will be. Your wife will be like a fruitful grapevine, flourishing within your home. Your children will be like vigorous young olive trees as they are around the table. That is the Lord's blessing for those who fear him. May the Lord continually bless you from Zion. May you see Jerusalem prosper as long as you live. May you live to enjoy your grandchildren. May Israel have peace. This is beautiful. This is a beautiful fruit of it, and the result of it. You see the word, blessed. in there for four or five times and and so often people you know they'll say things man you really got lucky no no no don't use the word luck with me don't use the word lucky with me luck from what luck from who no no no we are blessed people it identifies the favor of god on your life not some chance with luck blessed people of god and and he's and he says to us and and fathers here here it is really because he's talking to the to the godly man and he says listen if you want this kind of result in your family two characteristics you got to have one is the fear of the lord and to walk in godly ways the fear of the lord having a reverence for god having an honor of god

having having that that relationship with god where it is the center of everything you do it's it's it's it's you don't trifle with this it's the center of all that you think and all that you aspire to do it's the starting point of everything it's having a fear of god all of the things i do begins with a reverence for god and wanting to do things the way that god wants me to do things so i walk in his ways i don't just merely think about god that's that's not enough in itself but it's right acting as the lord commended enoch who walked with him he says the lord commended him because he pleased god and and when we do that the scripture says there's a blessing on our work there's a blessing on our business there's a blessing on our farm there's a blessing upon upon the uh the establishment your business there's a blessing upon it and there's a blessing upon your family your wife is fruitful and on the one hand of course that deals with childbearing able to uh to be fruitful in that sense but also fruitful in life fruitful in expression fruitful in influence listen men it ought to be important to you that when your wife is in public and goes places she's marked as a woman that is looked upon as a blessed woman because of what you've cared for her and how you've protected her and how you've done things for her and led her in the right way she ought to be able to walk into places and get attention not just because of her look but because she carries herself in such a manner that everyone looks upon and say that's a fruitful woman that's a fruitful woman same with your children he says your your children are like olive shoots around the table all of trees it takes a while but you patiently cultivate them over years and when they mature they start producing they produce for years and years and years and very profitable he says your children ought to be the same way it's an absolute truth i'm telling you i've witnessed it in my own community with my children with my grandchildren when they walk into places and people know this dude is a jones he comes from the family of tyrone p jones they're blessed you can trust them you can rely on them that's how you want to lead your family and lead your life it marks them that your family is blessed and hear what it leads down to it leads to a blessing of the city do you know the better we are the better our families are the greater the impact it is upon our community this city is better because the people in ccc are blessed people fruitful wives children that are like olive branches that are having an impact in the community now you you may be sitting here and you may be thinking man i'm i'm in the wrong seat i'm in a seat of abdication or a seat of of control or the the the the the seat of the beanbag psalm 78 is the hope is not to make perfect parents raise perfect children

none of us would do that but i'll tell you what psalm 78 the hope of it is is that imperfect parents will go to a perfect god so that we will know how to lead children in his will and his way can you say amen to that that that's what our heavenly father has done for us he's consistently even when we fail even when we mess up even when we don't do things right he's still pursuing us he's still teaching us he's still disciplining us ultimately he's bringing us closer and closer to his son jesus christ and that's the good news of the gospel the good news of the gospel is all of our imperfections and things that we've done wrong all of that stuff along with our sin is nailed to the cross the gospel of the lord jesus christ is not for parents who got everything right as a matter of fact the good news of the gospel is it's for us parents who've got everything wrong who really need to trust and rely in him and so wherever you are right now you you can't go back and undo you can't rewrite yesterday you just got to sit in the seat and start right now just start right now it may be a conversation it may be a prayer it may be starting with being an example it may start with an act of obedience but you got a responsibility to point this generation to the lord so that we will not be like the judge's generation that did not know god i'm telling you you, by God's grace, you'll look back on the day and you'll hear your children and grandchildren. Believe me, they'll know things about you that they could bring up, but you'll live for the day when you hear your children and your grandchildren just talk about the things that you did for them, and how you led them, and the things that you've done in their life that's made a difference, and the decisions that they made because grandpa told me this, or grandma said this, or my daddy talked to me about this, or the Word of God pointed this. You'll see that day. I'm praying that my children and grandchildren do way better than I did in every arena of life, way better than I did, way better. Matter of fact, I'm looking for the day when one of my grandchildren come to me who are so full of God, so full of love, doing the things that the Bible has told them to do. They're living their life in front of the Lord, living it out loud, where they come to me and say, Grandpa, you sure left us a mess to clean up. But they're so into what God is doing for them, because somebody at the table told them the truth about God's Word, and gave them a chance to be a generation that can make a difference.

Everybody stand if you would. Prayer team, you can come. I'm going to pray. Father, I want to thank you now for this opportunity I've had to bring the Word of the Lord, and I just thank you, Lord, for using me in this capacity. And again, I know you want to speak to everybody in this room, everybody who's watching online, everyone who will listen later. Lord, may you perk up those ears. May they be inspired. Lord, may they be encouraged. And may they, Lord God, press on, that they start sitting in the seat that you've given them, to be the parent, to be the teacher, to be the leader, to be the guy, to pour out the truth of God's Word, that the generation that they're raising up will be better. Father, if they're here and they got that desire, but they don't know how to begin, I pray that today they'll be convinced that what they need to start with is a relationship with you, that everything is made possible. Everything is made possible when they trust you, trust Jesus as Lord and Savior. So, Father, I pray, Holy Spirit, you work. May they be convinced to accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior, that makes them new, that they can be the people that they desire to be. And Father, those that are here that know you, that have been sitting in the wrong seat, may today be the day that they make a decision, I'm going to get in the right seat. I'm going to start doing the right thing. I'm going to have an impact and influence on my family. I'm going to do it the way God wants me to do, that every man in this room will have a desire to fear God and to walk in his ways, that we may have generations and generations that proclaim the name of the Lord. In Christ's name, we pray. May the people of God say, Amen. Amen. God bless you. Have a great day. You are my everything. Oh, God. You are my everything. Oh, God. You are my everything. What it go, what it go? What it go, what it go? What it go, what it go? What it go, what it go? If the highest place I reached is at your feet, then I've done it all. If the best thing that I've seen is your glory, then I've seen it all. If Your love has changed my life, forever satisfied, You are my everything. And if one word is the only thing You speak, then I've heard it all.

If I feel Your heart and never see Your head, I still have it all. No treasure of this life could ever satisfy me. You are my everything. Oh God, You are my everything. Oh God, You are my everything. You are my everything.