The Hidden Blessing of Honoring Broken Parents | Decoding the Torah Season 3

How do we honor parents that continue to reject us, and even still today, refuse to take any responsibility for some of the harm and hurt that they've caused us? We're looking at the laws of the Torah, and today we're actually going to the Ten Commandments that actually promises a blessing if we obey it. I'm reading from the book of Exodus today, chapter 20, verse 12. We're looking at the law of honoring our fathers and mothers. Hear the word of God. Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you. This principle and this command of honoring our father and mother is woven deeply into God's divine moral fabric that he built into his creation. In honoring our father and mother, we're recognizing that there were three partners in bringing us into the earth, three partners in our individual creation. God the Father, our earthly father, and our earthly mother. All three played a part in bringing us into the world. And in God's command, telling us we need to honor our father and mother, we're recognizing that. That our parents had a role to play, even if you were raised in a home where there was a lot of brokenness and dysfunction, if you were raised with abuse, if you were raised with criticism and rejection, still even beneath that at the very core is the fact that you would not be alive if it weren't for your father and your mother. And so this command to honor them acknowledges that. And we're going to try to work through some of the discussion about how do we honor parents that, as I said, rejected us? Or how do we honor parents that continue to reject us or criticize us? And even still today, if we've tried to reach back out, we're still met with denial and a refusal of them to take any responsibility for some of the harm and hurt that they've caused us in our life growing up. I know some of you today were raised by godly parents. Many were raised by good parents that prepared you for life and instilled within you spiritual and moral values that prepared you for the challenges that you would face ahead, equipping you with the strength that you would need to raise your own family in health. And it's such a blessing to have been raised in an environment like that. And we're thankful for the skills that we might have received from our parents. Some of you have been taught different skill sets, whether you were coming from a family that was mechanically inclined and you learned how to work on cars or learned how to do construction. Others picked up other sets of gifting from your parents in the realm of music or creativity. And so in honoring our father and mother, we recognize that some of

the skills that we have or some of the strengths that we have individually came to us through our parents. Even if there was a lot of brokenness or dysfunction in the home, you still might be gifted in a way in your life because of the gifting that was on your parents. And so in honoring our parents, we're recognizing this. And in so doing, we're recognizing the Almighty and His divine process in bringing us into the world. Practically speaking, this involves showing affection. I love it when my daughter reaches out to me. It just thrills me to hear her voice and just to take that time to stay in relationship. So when we take that first step oftentimes and call our parents and just do special things for them by showing affection, that blesses our parents so much. Honoring our parents involves sharing verbally with them the appreciation that we have for the fact that they cared for us in our youth, that many of the gifts and capabilities that we have now as adults came to us through them. And it involves, beloved, expressing our appreciation for the sacrifices that they made when we were infants and young children growing up and they paid for our meals and put a roof over our head. All these things need to be appreciated and they need to be articulated. For example, in my walk with my parents, my dad and I were on very different walks and he did not acknowledge my faith in Jesus and it became a big source of contention. But I still expressed to my dad the fact that a lot of the abilities that I had today came to me because of him. And the same is true for my mom. A lot of the abilities and gifts that I have today came to me through my mom. And so even if we don't see eye to eye with our parents on many things, we need to respect them and appreciate them and express to them our thankfulness for what we have received through them. And in doing this, what we do is we set a pattern for our own children to appreciate us and show us respect and love and tenderness in our old age. God built this into the moral fabric of his creation. And he promised us that when we walk this out, we would receive a blessing from him. Again, before moving on, I want to acknowledge the fact that some of you have been raised in homes

where your parents really didn't provide for you, that which you needed to grow up with a whole heart. And some of you have come from divorced homes, some have come even from abusive homes. And it's very, very challenging. And I don't want to minimize that in any way, shape or form. But the commandment holds true to honor our father and mother. So in situations when we've been raised in less than ideal environments, what we need to do is to honor them where we can and how we can, with boundaries. Perhaps it just means sending a birthday card with a little note in it. However you can do it, do it. And God will bless you for seeking to be obedient to him. This commandment or this mitzvah to honor our parents, it extends to those that have mentored us in life, those that have helped us to grow up, those that have trained us, those that have been our caregivers. It extends to honoring them as well. Recognizing, for example, that mentors that have played a significant role in our lives, helping us to grow perhaps in our profession, perhaps to grow as people of the Lord, as a son or a daughter of the Lord, we need to acknowledge and honor them as well. Because all of us are not just a product of our own efforts, we're the product of the Lord and those others

that have made investments into our life. And so let's be people of appreciation and acknowledge and show respect and gratitude to those that have made, once again, a significant investment, helping us to become the people that we are today. In the book of Numbers, chapter six, the Lord gave instructions to Moses and Aaron to speak this blessing over his people. And the Lord said, when you speak these words over my people, I will place my name on them and bless them. Receive the impartation of the Lord's blessings. Receive the impartation of the Lord's blessings. The Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you. The Lord lift you up by his countenance and the Lord give you, beloved one, his peace. God bless you and shalom.