The D- Word | Pastor Chris Kouba

Good morning, good morning. Come on, let's stand up on our feet, 1130. We're gonna get ready to worship Jesus, who is King. Come on. ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ He's coming on the clouds ♪ ♪ Kings and kingdoms will bow down ♪ ♪ And every chain will break ♪ ♪ As broken hearts declare His praise ♪ ♪ Who can stop the Lord Almighty ♪ ♪ Our God is the Lion, the Lion of Judah ♪ ♪ He's roaring with power and fighting our battles ♪ ♪ And every knee will bow before Him ♪ ♪ Our God is the Lamb, the Lamb that was slain ♪ ♪ For the sins of the world, His blood breaks the chains ♪ ♪ And every knee will bow before the Lion and the Lamb ♪ ♪ Every knee will bow before Him ♪ ♪ Every knee will bow before the Lamb ♪ Come on, let's sing this together. Open up the gates. ♪ So open up the gates, make way for the King of kings ♪ ♪ King of kings ♪ ♪ The God who comes to save is here to set the captives free ♪ ♪ For who can stop the Lord Almighty ♪ ♪ Our God is the Lion, the Lion of Judah ♪ ♪ He's roaring with power and fighting our battles ♪ ♪ And every knee will bow before Him ♪ ♪ Our God is the Lamb, the Lamb that was slain ♪ ♪ For the sins of the world, His blood breaks the chains ♪

♪ And every knee will bow before the Lion and the Lamb ♪ ♪ And every knee will bow before Him ♪ Come on, every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. Come on, let's sing this. ♪ Who can stop the Lord Almighty ♪ ♪ Who can stop the Lord Almighty ♪ ♪ Who can stop the Lord Almighty ♪ ♪ Who can stop the Lord, sing it over the battle ♪ ♪ Who can stop the Lord Almighty ♪ ♪ Who can stop the Lord Almighty ♪ ♪ Who can stop the Lord Almighty ♪ ♪ Who can stop the Lord ♪ Come on, let's sing this out together, church. ♪ Our God is a Lion, the Lion of Judah ♪ ♪ He's roaring with power and fighting our battles ♪ ♪ And every knee will bow before Him ♪ ♪ Our God is the Lamb, the Lamb that was slain ♪ ♪ His blood breaks the chains ♪ ♪ And every knee will bow before the Lion and the Lamb ♪ ♪ Every knee will bow before Him ♪ Come on, every knee will bow and every tongue will profess that Jesus, Jesus Christ is Lord and He is King. Come on, let's celebrate Him this morning. Hallelujah. Amen, church, amen. Hey, here with me, this is Markel Harrigan, who is coming forward today because he has professed Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior.

As a matter of fact, he came on the invitation of a friend. Y'all, there is power in invitation. He came to United City here this past Easter, heard the gospel, gave his life to Jesus Christ, and is here today to take his next step of obedience. And so we're excited to be able to celebrate that here today. Markel, are you being baptized? I think you're being baptized. Do you wanna top with me? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. Well, it is a privilege, my brother, now baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son, and Apostle, give Jesus Christ a blowhole. Give Him God's blowhole. You asked for that blowhole, the Holy Spirit. but you're getting that angel's blowhole We're there with Christ in baptism and raised to walk in newness of life. and today he's going to do your Mary. Man, what a good way to start service this morning. Hey, we're so excited that you guys are here with us today. If you're a first-time guest or maybe you're wondering what we're doing over this summer or have questions, we would just encourage you to tap the seat back in front of you so you can find all of that information. Now, if you are a first-time guest, please don't stop there. We would also love to meet you in the lobby. So if you go right out these doors and hang a right, there is some blue signs where we will be hanging out after service. We'd love to just meet you to know who you are and to hear your story for why you're

here today because we're so excited that you are. Now, we've had a pretty exciting week at United City. Has anybody involved with sports camp that we just had? Anybody? Let's hear it. Come on. All right. It's great. Well, hey, just in case you did or maybe you missed out, check a look at the screens and you can see what we were doing this week. I was down, but now I'm up, yeah. It's all God, this ain't no love, yeah. I used to be stuck in that mud, yeah. Yeah, I was down, but now I'm up, up, up. I was down, but now I'm up like my name Lazarus. No Satan gon' be mad at this. I had to ask my dad if it's okay to swing my bat at this. Boy, if I pitch it, it's out of the park. Move it so quick, it's like they stuck in park. They see the numbers, but I see the heart. 10,000 hours you spent in the dark, putting in good work. Even though you didn't even know that it would work. Talk about a man who grew up in woodwork. Do it for the love of it. That's the way it should work, yeah, yeah. I know some people gon' look at me crazy, and I'm like, for what? I was stuck. I was down, but now I'm up, yeah. It's all God, this ain't no love, yeah. I used to be stuck in the mud, yeah.

Yeah, I was down, but now I'm up, up, up. I was down, but now I'm up. Y'all know I'm up like a see-saw when I'm on a beat. Like an old man's lawn, better keep off. From the ground to the treetops, got clouds on my feet like Jack and the Beast. I jumped up quick, went straight in the free fall. Cowboy hat in the mic, singing yeehaw. Landed on my feet like a feline. Put a bag in the seat like a Recon. As our ushers begin to pass the offering, I wanna actually remind you guys, let you know that what we just got to see on the screen, we have also youth that are at camp right now. All of these things are possible because of your giving. God's able to take what we give right now, and he's able to use it in some pretty amazing ways. I wanna tell you some cool things that happened over this week at sports camp. We had over 500 kids in attendance, which is a new record for what we had show up. We had 300 serve team that were involved in making it all happen. And then on top of that, we had 40 different decisions that were made coming out of sports camp. So all of those things are some great things to celebrate. That's right. And it's all because of your faithful giving. So we just wanna say thank you for being a good steward for what God has already given you.

Now, on the other side of things, whether you are here for first time and maybe it was from sports camp, or you're just here joining us this weekend, we wanna let you know about something else we're doing, not exactly for kids this week, but for adults. So see, we have something called group block party, which is a time where we want you guys to be able to come and to find your next step. Because we truly believe that your best next step is to be involved in a group. It's where you are going to be and how you're gonna get involved and take a deeper step in your faith journey. And it can start this Wednesday. So if you're not signed up, we would encourage you to sign up. We're gonna have barbecue, ice cream, all kinds of fun stuff. And you're gonna get to meet some pretty awesome groups that you could definitely be a part of. So thank you so much for being here this morning. If you're a first time guest, please come stop by and talk to us afterwards and join me in prayer. God, thank you so much for what you were doing. God, here in United City, God, all over Northeast Houston. God, we thank you for the 40 lives that were changed

and the next steps that they're taking. God, we thank you for the students that are at camp right now that are in the process of making the exact same decisions of turning their faces towards you. God, we're excited for how you are going to continue to move. And we're excited that we get to play a part inside of that. We love you. And God, we look forward to what you're going to do. Amen. ♪ When peace like a river ♪ ♪ Attendeth my ways ♪ ♪ When sorrow like a river ♪ ♪ Like sea billows roll ♪ ♪ Whatever my lot Thou hast caught me to say ♪ ♪ It is well, it is well with my soul ♪ Sing this with me. ♪ It is well with my soul ♪ ♪ It is well, it is well with my soul ♪ ♪ It is well, it is well with my soul ♪ ♪ It is well, it is well with my soul ♪ ♪ It is well, it is well with my soul ♪ ♪ It is well with my soul ♪ ♪ Not a word you speak is ever wasted ♪ ♪ Not a promise you have left unkept ♪ ♪ You are faithful to me through the ages ♪

♪ Jesus, my Emmanuel ♪ ♪ Not a single taste has disappointed ♪ ♪ Not a glimpse of you has fallen short ♪ ♪ You go far beyond my expectations ♪ ♪ Jesus, Jesus, always more ♪ ♪ What a privilege, what an honor ♪ ♪ Just to dwell within your house ♪ ♪ In every season, in every hour ♪ ♪ You're faithful then, you'll be faithful now ♪ ♪ Years and years of goodness come before me ♪ ♪ Miles and miles of mercy close behind ♪ ♪ In every battle and in every blessing ♪ ♪ Jesus, you've been on my side ♪ ♪ Yes, you have, Lord ♪ ♪ And what a privilege, what an honor ♪ ♪ Just to dwell within your house ♪ ♪ In every season, in every hour ♪ ♪ You're faithful then, you'll be faithful now ♪ ♪ What a privilege, what an honor, God ♪ ♪ What an honor, God, just to dwell within your house ♪ ♪ In every season, in every hour ♪ ♪ You're faithful then, you'll be faithful now ♪ ♪ Oh, yes, I've seen your goodness, God ♪ ♪ And your faithfulness, God, yeah ♪ ♪ Look around at where you've come from ♪ ♪ Look around at where you are now ♪ ♪ Look around, lift your head up, anything is possible ♪ ♪ Look around at where you've come from ♪ ♪ Look around at where you are now ♪ ♪ Look around, lift your head up, anything is possible ♪

♪ Look around, oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah ♪ ♪ Always been faithful, yes, yes, oh, oh, oh, hey ♪ ♪ Oh, anything is possible, look around ♪ ♪ After all these years, He's still good, He's still graceful ♪ ♪ He's still trustworthy, oh, anything is possible ♪ ♪ Oh, look around, oh, look around ♪ Sometimes you have to think back to all the things that God has done, to where He's brought you from, to where you are now. ♪ Look around, look around, yes, oh, lift your head up ♪ ♪ Lift your head up, anything is possible ♪ Come on, worship the God who's able to work miracles. Worship our King who is able to do the impossible. There's nothing too hard for Him. ♪ Oh, anything is possible, lift your head up, lift your head up ♪ When I look back over my life and I see where He's brought me from and I see what He's doing right now, I can't help but give Him the worship. I can't help but give Him praise. Oh, say, look around, look around at where you are. Now, look around, lift your head up, anything is possible. What a privilege, what a honor, just to dwell within your house, Jesus, every season, every hour. Be faithful then, you'll be faithful now. Be faithful now, what a privilege, what an honor, just to dwell within your house, in every season, in every hour. Be faithful then, you'll be faithful now. You're faithful then, you'll be faithful now, Jesus.

You're faithful then, you'll be faithful now. Oh, you're faithful, God. Oh, God. ♪ Cause if He dresses the lilies with beauty and splendor ♪ ♪ How much more will He clothe you? ♪ ♪ How much more will He clothe you? ♪ ♪ If He watches over every sparrow, how much more does He love? ♪ ♪ How much more will He clothe you? ♪ ♪ If He dresses the lilies with beauty and splendor ♪ ♪ How much more will He clothe you? ♪ ♪ How much more will He clothe you? ♪ ♪ Don't you worry, no, not every sparrow ♪ ♪ How much more will He love you? ♪ ♪ How much more does He love you? ♪ ♪ I'll never be more loved than I am right now ♪ ♪ Wasn't holding you up, so there's nothing I can do to let you down ♪ ♪ It doesn't take a trophy to make you proud, oh ♪ ♪ Sparrow, I've never been more loved than I am right now ♪ ♪ Going through a storm, but I won't go down ♪ ♪ I can hear your voice carried in the rhythm of the wind to call me out ♪ ♪ You would cross an ocean so I wouldn't drown ♪ ♪ You've never been closer than you are right now ♪ Come on, let's sing it out. ♪ Jaira, Jaira, you are enough ♪ ♪ Said I know that you are, Jaira, you are enough ♪ ♪ I will be, I will be content, in every circumstance, in every circumstance ♪ ♪ Jaira, Jaira, Jaira, Jaira, Jaira, Jaira ♪ ♪ You are enough, say Jaira, Jaira ♪ ♪ You are enough, Jaira, Jaira ♪ ♪ You are enough, I will be, I will be content ♪

♪ In every circumstance, Jaira, Jaira, yeah ♪ ♪ Jaira, you are enough, forever enough, always enough ♪ ♪ More than enough, yeah, forever enough, always enough ♪ ♪ You're more than enough, you believe that today, forever ♪ ♪ Say forever enough, always enough, more than enough, ooh ♪ ♪ Ooh, forever enough, always enough, more than enough ♪ ♪ I'm already loved, I'm already chosen ♪ ♪ I know who I am, I know what you've spoken ♪ ♪ I'm already loved, more than I can imagine ♪ ♪ And that is enough, come on, say I'm already loved ♪ ♪ I'm already chosen, yeah, I know who I am ♪ ♪ I know what you've spoken, I'm already loved, yeah ♪ ♪ I'm already loved, more than I can imagine ♪ ♪ And that is enough, that is enough, it's enough, it's enough ♪ ♪ I'm already loved, I'm already chosen, come on, we know who we are ♪ ♪ I am what God says I am, I can do what he says I can do ♪ ♪ We're not moved by what we see, hear, or feel ♪ ♪ But we're moved by the word of God, yeah ♪ ♪ And that is enough, that is enough, it's enough, it's enough for me ♪ ♪ That is enough, God with you, I have everything, that is enough ♪ ♪ I have everything, that is enough, oh, with Jesus, I have everything, I need ya, I need ya ♪ ♪ Jairus, you are enough, come on church one more time, oh you are, Jairus, more than enough for me ♪ ♪ And I will be, in every circumstance, whatever comes my way, oh Jairus, Jairus, you are enough, Jairus, you are enough, Jairus, you are enough ♪ ♪ And I will be content, in every circumstance, God, Jairus, you are enough, Jesus ♪ ♪ Well good morning 1130, how we doing? Let me just sit with something, what an incredible morning of worship so far. We just sang this a second ago, I just want you to make sure, sometimes I think we just sing songs that may be familiar, or maybe they're not as familiar so we're trying to learn them and we miss what we just said. We just sang this, what a privilege, what an honor, just to dwell within your house.

In every season, and in every hour, you were faithful then, you'll be faithful now. I hope you believe that to be true. Last service we had Lisa Durvaloy, Mark and Lisa, they've built this church, they've just been around forever, they've served this place for so many years. in our kids' ministry, had, if you've been a part of this church for any length of time and you have kids, they've probably, maybe they've been with Mark and Lisa. And Lisa's been battling cancer, and in our 10 o'clock service, I saw her sitting right over there in the middle of this worship center for the first time in a year. What a privilege. I don't know what your situation is, I just want to remind you, what a privilege. What an honor. It is to dwell within your house, in every season, in every hour. He was faithful then, he's gonna be faithful right now. Grab your Bibles, open them up with me to Mark, or Matthew chapter 19, Matthew chapter 19. Hey, we've got a few of these left, so when you leave today, I'm gonna ask you to do something for us. It's pretty cool. While we're gathered here, and we're getting to open up God's word together as a church, we've got 240 students that are up in Livingston that are gathered right now for camp. They had services this morning, they're gonna be having services tonight and all week. And so, we've got a few of these bands left that have the names of students who were at youth camp. And what we're gonna ask you to do is just to grab one of these, put it on your wrist, and would you just pray for our students? We're asking for a few specific things, we're asking that God would meet them. We've got a bunch of kids that are lost that we know. In fact, we've got a large number of first-time campers that have ever come with us. And so, we're asking that God would save a ton of students this week. We're asking that God would raise up some students and call them to ministry.

Like we want them to have a vision to serve the local church and to serve in missions and to be able to be sent out, and so would you pray for that as well? Would you pray that God would just expand their vision? You realize, I mean look, we, we act like it's just teenagers, it's us too, no matter what age you are, but, but specifically that age of life, it's kind of all about them. We want to have God just expand their vision and make it all about Him, and just to be able to radically transform and change, and we really believe that God can and wants to do that. And so, would you join us in that and it would be a really big honor of us if you would grab one of these as you leave and be able to pray for somebody. Matthew chapter 19 is where we're going to be. We as a family, one of the things we love to do when we get together and any time I'm with the larger groups is play some board games. Any board game folks in here that love playing board games, we love doing that. Spokers and Marbles is kind of our favorite game that we tend to play the most, but any card game kind of works out well, Monopoly Life, or you've got Raton, you know, any kind of these like larger, like long-term games if you will that you could play. One game that's always really stressed me out that I don't love, I get slightly competitive whenever we play it, and it's just an intensity that goes along with it is the game Taboo. Anybody ever played the game Taboo before? Let me explain to you how the game Taboo works, OK? Basically what you do is you get into two different teams, and then you get one person who's kind of the spokesman for the team, and he's representing him, and his job is to try to describe to his team clues that would cause them to want to guess what is on the card that's in front of him. I'm actually going to kind of walk you through how this looks. This is a, we bought this game, I'm just literally picking it out. I have not done, this isn't, I just grabbed a card here, here we go. I'm not doing that one, OK, wait a second. The Sunday Scaries was the word.

I don't even know what that means, so I'm not going to do that one, OK. Here's the one, Pandora, OK, the card's Pandora, all right? And so the idea is that I've got to try to get my team that was trying to get you to use the word Pandora, but I was not allowed to use these words to describe it. That's the idea, OK? Here's some of the words, box, music, Spotify, bracelet, and avatar, OK? And so the other team that's, that you're up against, what they're going to do is they're going to stand right next to you, and they're going to stand over your shoulder and watch and make sure you don't say any of the words on the card, and if so, usually most games they've got a buzzer, for whatever reason the one we bought has a squeaker, all right? Not quite as cool, but you get the idea, right? And so if I was supposed to try to get you to guess the word Pandora, and I used the word box, can't use the word box, music, Spotify, bracelet, avatar, I might say something like Apple Music, but not Apple Music. It's like way before Apple Music was cool. It was before the other thing that's a rival against Apple Music was there. It was the thing that kind of just streams music. I had to look and make sure the word wasn't there, streams music, I, that would be pretty good, right? That was actually not bad, right? I didn't say it. Last service, I totally locked up and could not do it, and they're totally going to have to squeak me because it was one of the, it was shark, and I could not figure out how to say it with all the words that were there. The idea though, this game, it's, again, it's hard because you got the timer going, you got all the people looking at you, and you know so clearly what you could say that would make them get it immediately, but you can't say it, otherwise you're going to get squeaked. You're going to get beat, right? Last week we started a sermon series called Taboo, and we were going to talk for four about topics, they get you squeaked, all right?

And they get you squeaked one of two ways. It's because churches know that if you bring up these topics, people are gonna get upset and people are gonna leave. And so therefore, they avoid doing these things because they don't wanna get squeaked. But here's what we've also discovered. We also know that it's true that the culture has a very clear outline as to what you're allowed to say and what you're not allowed to say on many, many topics. And we know that they're so loud about it that if you say a word that's on the list trying to describe something that's super clear, then guess what they're gonna do? They're gonna let you know about it. And our goal in this series is to poke the bear. It's to go there and talk about some certain topics that you normally don't hear in church. Or if you do, you've been trained and accustomed because you ask questions about it based upon the response that you get. Oh, this isn't a safe place to bring this up. And we wanna talk about it. And we wanna allow the Bible to speak. What I've discovered is this, is that it's not like people stop asking the questions. If they know they can't ask those things in church, they just go somewhere else to ask the question. And we believe the Bible tells us what we need to know, how we're supposed to think, how we are to respond.

Topic that I'm gonna bring about today is honestly one that I have been the most nervous about. Not because theologically it's unclear, but because pastorally it's so true. It's the topic of divorce. You're like, well, why are you bringing this up? Didn't you just do an eight-week series on relationships, dating, and marriage, and all of that kind of stuff? Yes, and some of you had to endure it. And that's exactly what you felt. Because you've walked through it. And so therefore, the entire time that you're there, you feel like you're having to endure it. Where does this apply to me? This isn't just an abstract concept. This is instead something that is the real life. For some of you, it's very personal. You've been through a divorce. Some of you, you've experienced. You are the product of a divorce. So because of that, you know all the pain that's associated with it. Some of you may be walking in a relationship with somebody close to you that's getting a divorce, and you don't know what to say. It's not like there's easy answers. What I wanna ask that you allow me to do today is not come to this topic like a professor or a prosecutor, trying to prove that I'm right, but that you would let me approach this topic

to you as a pastor. Because I believe the Scripture is so clear and tells us that we can uphold truth, and it allow us to have the clarity that we need, but it doesn't have to negate the grace that can go with it. And instead, I want us to be able to see these two things mirrored and connected together in a beautiful picture and in a beautiful way. Before we get into the text today, what I wanna do is kind of set it up and show you what's happening so that you understand what's being told here in Matthew chapter 19. Because we wanna see, before we get into what the Bible says about divorce, we wanna first start with what God says about marriage. The passage that we're gonna look at today puts Jesus in the middle of a controversy, in the middle of a battle, of a fight, we're gonna see. And what Jesus does is he doesn't get drawn in and get into the trap. He instead goes back and identifies the original design of marriage. Would you stand in the honor of reading of God's word? Matthew chapter 19. Let's begin reading in verse three. It says, and Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?

He answered, have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female and said, therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate. You may be seated. Matthew chapter 19, the parallel passage of this is Mark chapter 10, where the Pharisees are trying to trick Jesus, trying to trip him up. And what you see repeatedly in scripture, where the issue of divorce is brought up, is that Jesus answers it by going back to the original design to show the significance. and the depth of the covenant relationship. He goes back and says God made male and female, Genesis chapter 1, then he quotes Genesis chapter 2 verse 24 that a man shall leave his father and mother, hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. Genesis chapter 2, right away, Genesis 1, we get what a guy is and what a girl is. Genesis chapter 2, we get what marriage is. This is not hard. What I want you to see is that the culture is going to tell you you're not allowed to say that. But we got to go back to what God just did, how he designed things, and right away in Genesis 1, we see how he made male and female, Genesis chapter 2, we see how he defined marriage. I need you to know when it comes to this topic of divorce, most often people are looking

for the exceptions, but Jesus always goes back to the design. He says that you are to leave your father and your mother. This means you abandon your previous loyalty, not passively, but a decisive turning. I'm leaving my old life and I'm starting a new life. And I'm going to this new person and I'm creating a new established rule and reign in my heart with them. He says specifically that you are to hold fast to your wife. It's the word, it's the Hebrew word dabach, which means to be glued or cemented, literally to be fused together. Think of gorilla glue here. You ever put gorilla glue on something and then you realize you messed up and you're like, oh, oh, and you hope you hadn't dried and you try to pull it apart, what happens? It never works. It's so strong that literally the two things which were independent of each other have now become so fused together that to tear them apart causes damage to both sides. That's the picture. He then says that they are to become one flesh. This isn't just the description of physical intimacy, but it's the intermingling of two souls into something that did not exist before. This is why the commentary on the quote that he gave in verse six, Jesus says, what God has joined together, let not man separate. Don't miss what I'm about to say. If God is the one who puts you together, God is the one who has to take you apart. Please hear me. Our culture says this, you can get in and out as easy as you want, but what God says is that what God has joined together, let God be the one that takes it apart. Man doesn't get to make that choice. God is the one who makes that choice. With this as a background, I want to give you three things to tell you what the text says and teaches us, not only in this passage but others, about what God says about divorce.

Number one, divorce is devastating. Divorce is devastating. It's important to see Jesus' strategy. By speaking about the permanence and the importance of marriage, He wasn't trying to make a deflection here to the question. He was instead trying to show why divorce should never be easy. Now look, you may be in the middle of a divorce and you would say, man, divorce is not easy, but relatively speaking, we have made divorce in our country very easy to do. You fall into love, and if you don't like it anymore, and you fall out of love, then you just get out of the relationship. And even though there are some legal things to do that goes along with it, we've still made it very easy. We've created things like no-fault divorce, but you don't have a reason for it. You just decide you don't want to do it. And what Jesus is trying to say is this, I want to raise the bar of marriage so high that instead of just giving you the exceptions, I want to show you divorce should never be a first response. Divorce should never be something you just casually choose to do. If you're a product of divorce, you know that divorce is devastating. If you found yourself in a divorce, you know that divorce is devastating. Jesus, with friends and family members, has taught us divorce is devastating. God even addresses it directly in Malachi chapter 2 verse 16, for I hate divorce, says the Lord, the God of Israel. To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty, says the Lord of heaven's armies. So guard your heart, do not be unfaithful to your wife. Please know God doesn't pull any punches here. But also don't miss what He's saying, which is so important. God says that He hates divorce, but He doesn't say He hates divorced people. What God hates is the act and the damage that that act does, but He doesn't hate the people who've experienced it.

If you've been through a divorce, God's not looking at you with contempt. But he is honest in saying that when a couple gets a divorce, it's overwhelming them with cruelty. That's the verse in Malachi chapter two. It's literally causing violence to another person. Even a legal, clean divorce is not a clean break. When you tear apart what God has joined together, something always breaks. I'm not saying this as a guilt weapon aimed at people who've been through divorce. I'm just telling you this as an explanation of why it hurts so bad. Because the pain is not weakness, the pain is instead proof of what you actually had. The consequences land on the people who did not make the decision, and that matters to our God. There's a reason why we say it's a broken home, not because people who go through a divorce are broken beyond repair, but because something that was built together gets dismantled and the debris does not just fall on the couple, it falls on everybody who lives in the house. Divorce is devastating. It's not a judgment on you, but it is a description. But also let it be a warning, if you're here today, and you're looking for an out, you're looking for the escape hatch, please hear me. You may think that getting out of your marriage is gonna solve all of your problems.

I have story after story after story. Divorce is devastating. Second thing I want you to see that God says about divorce, number two. Divorce is permitted. Divorce is permitted. The question being asked in Matthew chapter 19 is by this religious leaders, and it wasn't a pastoral question. It wasn't, they're like, how can I love people better? Can you just give us what the out is so we can love people better? No, no, it was a political game. Because you had two different groups that existed at the time. You had one, which was like a super strong, conservative group that was over here that basically said that divorce is only allowed for the things that they say that it's allowed for, and it's a really small list. Over here, you had the liberal group, and the liberal group basically said that you could divorce your wife for any reason. The key word is found in verse three. How could you divorce a woman for any cause? Any cause is the question. Is it super conservative or is it super liberal? Over here, literally, if the woman made something that you didn't like, you could divorce her. You just walk out of the relationship,

walk out of the marriage. And so essentially, they're coming to Jesus, trying to catch him. Like, how can we get you backed in a corner so that you settle this political debate that we're having? Pick up the reading in verse seven. They said to him, why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away? He said to them, because of your hardness of heart, Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning, it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality and marries another, commits adultery. The disciples said to him, if such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry. Jesus states that Moses allowed for a legal process to protect women in a world where the men held all the cards. In a culture of a man could just send his wife away. No paperwork, no legal standing, no protection. Moses introduced the certificate of divorce, not to make divorce easy, but to give the woman a legal recourse if it happened. It was the best possible outcome for a broken situation found in a broken world. Jesus is not endorsing the certificate as ideal, but he's explaining its origin. Human sinfulness required a legal structure to prevent further harm

to the most vulnerable people in the situation. Jesus then draws the line. He says the exception though is sexual immorality. Sexual immorality is the Greek word porneia. It's the word where we get our word, modern day pornography. It's a broad Greek term for sexual sin of any kind committed outside of the marriage covenant. It includes adultery, but it is not limited to one specific act. It describes a pattern of sexual unfaithfulness that breaks the one flesh bond. Here's what the exception clause means practically. When a spouse is engaged in unrepentant sexual immorality, the innocent spouse is released from the obligation of the covenant. The key word though is unrepentant. That is not about a one moment of failure followed by genuine confession and commitment to restoration. This is about a pattern of sin that the person refuses to turn from. Someone who breaks faith and keeps breaking it, that's the situation that Jesus is addressing. Even then, this is permission for divorce, not prescription for divorce. Jesus is not saying the innocent party must divorce his spouse. He is saying they may divorce their spouse. The goal, even in the most painful situations, is always restoration if restoration is possible. I believe this is what Jesus is saying because look at verse 10 again, how the disciples

respond. If this is the standard, it's better not to get married. Man, we need that back in our culture. Because you know what we do? We just try it on. And if we don't like it, we just get rid of it like it's something else. And what they said is that, whoa, Jesus, you're making it so hard. You're saying if I'm going to marry this person, I'm with her forever? Yeah, that's what he's saying. Which is why we need to heed the warnings that we saw in the last series about dating and relationships so that we're not just choosing someone because they're hot, we're choosing someone because they're holy. Because that is what matters. And when I'm making these vows before the Lord, I realize I'm signing up for better or for worse. Like I'm in this thing and so therefore, if I'm nervous about that, I shouldn't sign up for it. That's ultimately what the disciples are saying and Jesus' response doesn't say that they're not right. His response actually affirms, yeah, you're starting to get it. You're starting to see how big of a deal this marriage thing is. Which here's what I want to make sure and say this then. Some of you may be hanging on like a thread and we're going to talk about that in just a moment. But some of you may look up here and say, well, my marriage is fine. Look, fine's not the goal. Jesus says marriage is this important. This is how I'm going to answer the whole idea about divorce. So meaning this, I don't want to be fine. I want to pursue as greatest potential that I possibly can because that's how much Jesus

thinks about this relationship that I've entered into. So I want to pursue each other. I want to hold fast this marriage. I want to be glued together and become one flesh. I want you to turn over with me to Matthew chapter 7. Matthew chapter 7. We've seen here that adultery is the first exception to the rule about marriage. Divorce is permissible, is permitted. First Corinthians chapter 7, let me give you the context. It's basically Paul writing to the church at Corinth and they're just a mess. Like they are just, they've got issue after issue after issue. And each chapter he's dealing with all the problems that he's hearing. And in chapter 7 he begins to talk about marriage relationships and all these different scenarios. And the one that he specifically is going to mention in verse 15 that I'm going to read to you here in just a second is dealing with a believing spouse married to an unbelieving spouse. First of all, let's talk about the fact that the Bible is very clear that it says you shouldn't be in that situation, okay? That's why it says you should not be unequally yoked, all right? What that means is that I'm running hard after Jesus. Remember that? I'm looking inside. If anybody else is running hard after Jesus, I'm not looking at somebody else who's not running after Jesus and then getting married, then I'm already in a problem, okay? Remember this talks about if someone's running in this direction and you're running in this direction, you're eventually going to end up praying for your spouse, not with your spouse, okay? But let's say another scenario might be that you both are unbelievers and you get married and then God saves one of you. And now you're married to somebody who is an unbeliever even though you're now a believer.

What do you do? Okay? Look at what it says in verse 15. But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases, the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. Not enslaved is the key phrase there. If an unbelieving spouse walks out of the marriage, the believing spouse is no longer bound to it. The one who leaves has released the covenant. Paul is describing something different here. He's describing a situation where a believer is genuinely trying, repenting of their own sin, honoring their vows, doing the work, while the other party who's an unbeliever is not just difficult but living in an ongoing, unrepentant sin and the marriage is being abandoned in real time. Not in a legal sense, but in a covenant sense. One party is holding the covenant together. The other has already left it even if they have not left the address and in that case, in the case of abandonment, divorce is permitted. So we see adultery and we see abandonment. Let me give you a third one that you need to know the scriptures do not address at all. And that's abuse. That's abuse. What I want to tell you is this. I believe it's the... Sustained abuse, particularly physical abuse, constitutes a form of covenant abandonment. The marriage covenant carries with it implicit obligations of protection and care, and when one person is systematically harming the other,

they're not keeping the covenant, they're destroying it from the inside out. Please hear me if you're being physically abused. Your safety is not a secondary concern that takes a backseat to the marriage covenant. Your safety comes first. Tell someone that you trust today, get yourself and your kids out of that situation. It's not a failure of faith, it's not giving up on your marriage, it's wisdom. God is not asking you to put your body in harm's way to preserve a covenant that the other party is already violating through their very harm. So let me plead with you. Come talk to a pastor, come talk to a staff member, come talk to our prayer team, and let us help you. Jesus answered the Pharisee's question about whether divorce is permissible, but they never got around to asking the question that I actually think matters most that he's trying to answer. Is it permanent? Can a person be more than their divorce? Can someone who's been through this be whole again? That's where this passage, that's where Jesus takes us next. Last thing I want you to see, God says about divorce. Divorce is not defining. Divorce is not defining. Divorce is real. It happens, maybe it's your story.

I'm not gonna stand here and tell you that it didn't matter, you just decided to feel differently about it because that'd be totally dishonest, that'd be totally unkind. There's a massive difference between divorce being a part of your story and divorce being the whole of your story. I want you to turn with me to Romans chapter eight, if you would. Even if you, I'm gonna put it on the screens, but I want you to see it with your phone, copy of God's word, whatever it is. Romans chapter eight, verse one, it's a great verse that I encourage you to memorize this week. Here's what it says. There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. There is therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. There is therefore now no, not some, not reduced, no condemnation. For those who are in Christ Jesus. There is therefore now no condemnation, shame, label, statistic, for those who are in Christ Jesus. There's therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Christ Jesus. There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. This is your identity. Not divorce, not failed, not disqualified, but in Christ Jesus. All divorce involves sin somewhere. It does not happen in a vacuum where everyone is blameless. Sometimes a sin is mutual. Sometimes it belongs primarily to one person, but sin has a savior and the forgiveness of God is not issued with an asterisk that says I forgive everything in your life except for that stuff in your marriage. There are only two labels that God sees, in Christ and out of Christ. You are His child. Some of you are still in your marriage and things are not good. In fact, they haven't been good for a while. And you sit here today half wondering if God is not giving you the out. What I wanna tell you is this, if there's still breath in your marriage, do not give up before God does because I have seen time and time again that God can restore the years the locusts have eaten. God can heal things. That at the end of the day, when you look at them, you think there is no hope for them.

And they will be the first to give you testimony that the hardest season of their life became the most transformative story of grace that they've ever lived. God can resurrect a marriage if He can raise Jesus from the dead. He looks at your marriage and He does not say it's done. But you've got to get help. You've got to talk to a pastor. You've got to talk to a counselor. You've got to reach out to somebody in your group. You've got to get with somebody on staff. Don't try to do this alone. Hold together yourself in private. The church exists to come alongside of you in this. Some of you come from divorced families. Your parents are divorced, your grandparents are divorced, aunts and uncles are divorced. And you just assume it's your turn. Can I tell you that God can break generational curses? And even though your history may say one thing, your future can say something very different. But you've got to do it His way. And you've got to trust Him, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. Finally, let me speak to those of you who are divorced, have been divorced. I want to tell you a story about somebody in John chapter 4. It's the story of a woman who'd been through five marriages. She finds herself drawing water at a well at a time when no one else was going to be there because she was so ashamed of her past. The Bible tells us that that's when Jesus showed up at the well, and you just happened to see her. He pursues her. He goes after her. And He asks her for a drink of water.

What you see here is a Jewish man who has all the power talking to a Samaritan woman at a well, asking her for help. He sees her as a person. Before He ever asked about her past, He offered her living water. Grace comes first. Jesus eventually addresses her past. She'd been married five times, and the man that she was with right then was not her husband, but because of the grace that He showed her, because He treated her like a person, because He offered her living water, she became the first evangelist for Jesus' ministry. I don't know what your story looks like when it comes to marriage and divorce. Some of you have a story that's relatively straightforward, some of you have a story that's so complicated you've never told anybody the whole thing, but Jesus already knows the whole thing and He says, you're mine. I choose you. He walked all the way here to offer you what He offered the woman at the well. He's not asking you to clean yourself up before you come. He's not waiting for your marriage history to check out before He's going to speak to you. Whatever your status, whatever your history, whatever the complications, none of it disqualifies you from receiving the living water that He wants to offer you today. His name is Jesus, and He is here. So pray with me. Father, we come before You and we ask for Your help. We ask for You to heal. We ask for You to restore. We ask for You to redeem. I pray the sensitivity of this topic would be met by the waves of grace that's available to us. I pray that people in this room would not be defined by any other label than a child of Yours.

That they could walk in confidence and hope, knowing that while brokenness exists all around us, we have the promise of an eternal future and a chance to experience abundant life. Let us walk in truth today. Bind the enemy from our hearts and our minds and let us follow You. Would you continue to keep your heads bowed and your eyes closed just a moment? We're going to move into a time of invitation if you're new here, what I'm going to ask you to do is we're all going to stand up, and if you're making a decision, I want you to move, come forward. We're going to have folks at the bottom of the steps and the bottom of the front of the worship center. If you're not, what I'm going to ask you to do is to guard the sacredness of this moment. You have no idea what the person sitting around you is dealing with. Please don't slip out early, try to beat the crowd to lunch, but we're going to ask you to sing with us, to pray, and for you to ask of yourself, God, what do You want to do in me? God, what do You want to do in me? Some of you, you came in here today carrying something that you did not know anybody could actually help you deal with. And you heard today about living water, about a God who pursues you and offers grace before He asks anything of you. That's exactly what you've been looking for, and today you can say yes to Jesus. We'd love to pray with you. We'd love to help you take that step. So come forward and tell someone that you're ready to have the living water. Others need to come and join United City Church. You know this is where you belong, so today, you get to make it official, but you come and lead the way. Maybe others need to be baptized, making, maybe giving your life, you've already given your life to Christ, but this is your chance to go public with it, like the one we just saw earlier.

You come and take that important step of obedience. Others just need to pray. Maybe you did not come in here for any of those things, but after today and after everything we've talked about, you just got to pray with someone. Maybe it's about a marriage. Maybe it's about a divorce. Maybe it's about something else entirely. Whatever you're carrying, would you bring it and let us pray with you? God, would you use these moments, would you lead people to make bold decisions for you? It's in the powerful name of Jesus that I pray, amen. Would you stand, and as you do, our team's gonna be up front, they're gonna be at the bottom of the steps. You come, respond as God is leading you, come on. Jairus, you are enough, and I will be content in every circumstance. Jairus, you are enough. Jairus. Praise God for you, who else? Come on. I know that you are Jairus. You are enough. I will be content in every circumstance. Praise God for you. Come on, who else? Jairus. You are enough. Jairus. Jairus. You are enough. Jairus. You are enough.

Jairus. You are enough. And I will be content in every circumstance. Jairus. Praise God for you. Who else? Jairus. You are enough. Forever enough. Always enough. He is, he is. Forever enough. Do you believe that to be true? Always enough. More than enough. Yes. Forever enough. Always enough. He may be hanging on by a thread. More than enough. He is enough. Forever enough. Always enough. More than enough. Let's pray together. Let me pray for you. I know many of you that I'm praying for and your marriage is struggling. I want to pray for hope and healing in you. Many of you that I may be talking to, your marriage is fine, don't be fine. Seek what God has for you.

I want to pray for you. If you're here today and you've walked through a loss, loss of a marriage, loss of a spouse, loss of a relationship, I want to pray for you. Father in Jesus' name, I pray that you would lead us, you would guide us by the Holy Spirit working within us. We would be able to seek what you want from us, that we would believe what you say is best. God, I pray for those that are hanging on by a thread. I pray, God, they would see how big that thread is. And that you would do a miracle in their life, you do a miracle in their marriage, you do a miracle in their situation, their family. I pray, God, for the couple that is just doing OK. I pray, God, they would never settle for OK, not in a judgmental way, but instead, God, in a way to realize you've got more new mercies available for them tomorrow. May they seek each other, may they pursue each other, may they experience the joy that comes with obedience, walking with you, being led by you, following you. God, I pray for those that are experiencing loss. I pray, God, they would not be defined by the label that they have, but instead, God, they would be defined by the label you gave them, which is a child of yours. I want them to walk in truth, in hope, in mercy, and in love. It's the powerful name of Jesus that I pray for all of these things, amen. Amen, would you guys take a quick seat? I've got one quick announcement that I got to give before we get out of here We want to give honor where honor is due and this coming Tuesday We have the opportunity to celebrate one year of ministry For Jason Mick is our executive pastor here at United City Church. Let's give Jason a hand and celebrate Yeah, we got some Flowers for you Aaron Thank you so much and we are so thankful for the mix and their ministry one year here Yeah city there from Houston's this is kind of them coming back home So grateful that you guys did God's done amazing things in you already this past year for your kids to your whole family

It's just been incredible, but there's so much more to be done. Let me just tell you you've seen Jason's leadership You've seen Jason's ability to communicate But Jason does so much that so many of you don't see but benefit from He leads our staff with the utmost integrity and clarity. We're so thankful for him Jason. I'm thankful for you I'm thankful for this past year. I'm thankful for your friendship I'm excited to see how God's gonna use you years to come as we propel and advance the mission of United City Church here in Northeast Houston and beyond would you do me a favor as we close? Would you just extend a hand and let's just pray a prayer blessing and gratitude For the mix and for them being here this past year father we come before you and we thank you so much for Jason for Aaron for their family God, we just thank you for this last year that they've given to us here at this church Oh Lord, they've been so incredible and their leadership has been so evident and we thank you for him God We pray that you would give them continued favor in the years ahead as we see this church We're deep reach all of its redemptive potential father. I pray for continued provision and greatness for their kids We thank you for each and every one of them God We just pray that you would watch over them you protect this family that you would use them and father We pray that you would get all the glory For what you're gonna do in the life of the mix here at this place in the days ahead. It's in Jesus name We pray amen. Thank you guys so much all great Sunday Man what an amazing time Man what an amazing time that we had today Hey, if you know someone that needs to hear this message, we'd love for you to share that on socials We love for you to actually go and check out our social so you can stay up to date on everything happening in the life of the United City and If you need to take the next step, we'd love to help you do that as well Love you guys so much and we'll see you next week