The Cure for Comparison | Big Ten Week 5

I just want to welcome those who are worshiping online, whether you're at another location, maybe you're at our community gatherings across the state of Tennessee, but I always want to take just a minute. For many of you who are here for the first time, don't recognize that every weekend, men and women across the state of Tennessee from Tennessee Department of Corrections Facilities worship in our God Behind Bars locations. And we are so grateful that you guys take the time to do that. Hey, Faith Promise Campuses, would you give it up for those who worship at our God Behind Bars locations? We are so proud of you and grateful that we get to do this with you. And I just want to say also that we have a new series coming up that's going to be on spiritual warfare. And if you tap the disc on the seat back in front of you or go to the app, there's a place there where you can ask questions. It's going to be based on the book, The Screwtape Letters. And I would just highly recommend that you read that as well. But just an opportunity for you to have input into the message series and ask questions from that also. And Pastor Zach will be here next weekend

to celebrate Father's Day. So super excited about that as well. This is the last message in a series that we've done over the past five weeks about the 10 Commandments. And it's been just an incredible opportunity for us to get grounded in some of the things that God says for us and the way that He wants us to live our life. And I want to just dive in this weekend. Are you guys ready just to jump in, kind of go all the way in, in the beginning? Good. That's faith promise. That's how we roll. I want to ask you a question. It's going to be a little embarrassing for all of us. You'll feel it when I ask it. When was the last time you put your phone down feeling more grateful than when you picked it up? We all have that, right? We all have this tendency where we pick up our phone, we look at something, we think our life isn't as good as someone else's. And so we put it down, we pick it up again, and we do the same thing again, right? Because we're looking at someone else's Italian vacation. We're looking at someone else's marriage, someone else's house. And have you ever noticed how in other people's houses,

the kitchens look so nice? Like there's so many great kitchens. Anyway, not that I've looked. Somebody else's career, somebody else's kids. And you know what? Even the spiritual realm, like someone else's walk with God where everything in everyone else's life seems to look better than it looks in my life. Back in December, I had the privilege, Pastor Zach, our senior pastor here, has given us the opportunity as a staff to take two days a year, normally kind of in the late fall, winter, and then in the spring, to take solitude days. And during our solitude days, we intentionally take a day as staff where we personally focus on ourselves, where we work on ourselves, and we don't text each other, send emails to each other. Like we literally try to focus in on what God's saying. And each time we do that, we hand out a book to the staff. And the morning that I was doing my solitude day this past December, we were all doing that, and we were actually focused on Psalm 91. And to be real with you, like I don't even, really didn't even realize or think about Psalm 91 related to this way, but I heard the Holy Spirit just whisper to me in one of those moments, like God speaks to you, like remove or hide social media from your phone.

And I thought that was a little bit weird, but I took it pretty seriously. I was actually this past week looking at that book again, and it's kind of one of those marker moments where I feel like God told me to do something. I was like, I'm gonna be obedient and do this. And so I hid it on my phone. And I think the thing that I've realized is that every scroll was training my heart and my mind to want someone else's life. And the Bible has a name for that pattern, and it's older than the internet, and it's older than social media. It's called the 10th commandment. The commandment is you shall not covet. But here's what most of us have never noticed is that covenant at the heart level, as the commandments go, is related to honor your father and your mother. So in essence, what the Bible's calling us to is it wants us to honor our origin, our roots, the people who gave us existence. And then at the same time, the Bible's telling us be content with your life, because both of them are asking you a very similar question. Will you receive the life that God actually gave you, or are you going to spend the one life you get grasping at the life that he gave to someone else? And that's really where we find ourselves when you think about.

Like as we've walked through this and thinking about the commandments that we talk about how God literally brought us out of Egypt. He's talking to the nation of Israel. Then he's like, you shall not murder. Those go together. Go back and watch these weeks. You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not commit adultery. Then Pastor Chris, I won't forget this one because when we talk about not taking the name of God in vain and not literally stealing that, in reality, some of us are stealing God's glory because of the way we talk and speak. And then last weekend, Pastor Zach talked about the way that we live and our words and how that impacts our life and our neighbors as well. And today we find ourselves with honor your father and mother, and you shall not covet anything that is yours. Now, honor your father and mother paired with you shall not covet your neighbor's house, your neighbor's wife, anything that belongs to your neighbor, it doesn't seem to really fit together. But look at the parallel that scripture gives us in this. The fifth commandment is about your origin, right? It's about your roots. We said that. The 10th is about your present life, about your contentment, right?

That we are supposed to be content. But both of them are helping us to recognize something that needs to be in our life. That literally our parents tell us about gratitude that goes back to the people who have shaped us, right? The people who are still shaping us today. And then the 10th commandment is about gratitude going outward toward the life that you're actually living today. And here's the part that I don't want you to miss. The very first commandment, this commandment that God gives us about people, he opens up this human side of the law of honor your father and mother by literally helping us think about and by thinking about the people who gave us life. And he closes it with, don't spend your life wanting what God has given to someone else. Honor what you have. Stop wishing you had what they have. Live the life that God actually gave you. And remember, everything people have doesn't mean their life is better than yours. I mean, we can all laugh for a second and think about Hollywood, right? One minute, a person has everything. The next minute, they have nothing. And then in reality also, there's a part of this that relates to students in the room

because as adults, when we hear honor your father and mother we think that's not for us. We're gonna talk about that in a second. But for students, there's another reality for this that you are to honor your parents. You are to live under their authority and obey them. And what we find and what I want us to focus on today is this thought. A grateful heart honors what it has been given. A coveting heart grasp at what was never yours. Think about it with me. Stop for a second. A grateful heart honors what it has been given, but a coveting heart grasp at what was never yours. And all of us are sitting somewhere in that thinking in some way that we could do a better job with that. For instance, like some people walked in across our campuses this weekend and they would recognize like, hey, I have a heart that's been grasping for years. And honestly, it's okay. Like here we try to be raw and real. And the reality is some people walked in, they're like, I've been grasping for a different career. I've been grasping for better relationships. I've been grasping for my body to look better or my kids to obey more, or honestly that my parents would have been who they said they were. And then some of us walked in

and we've made peace where we've come from. Not that we're perfect, but literally we made peace where we've come from. And for me personally, in some ways, this is such an easy message because I hit like the parent jackpot if you can hit that in my life. Like I've looked at my parents and the way that they've lived their life. And even today I can just say like, they have always been there. They have always supported me. They have always provided things that I never believed that I could have on my own. And then for others of you, you're sitting there today thinking like, man, my parents never did any of those things. But for some of us, or at least for another small group of people this weekend, you have another challenge. You're not all. all the way out, and you're not all the way in. You're like straddling the line, right? Like some of us have a foot in both camps. I look like I honor God when I come here on Sunday, but when it comes to Tuesday, my life looks completely different. Most of us today literally need to like take a moment where we like firmly plant both of our feet on the side of gratitude and start living there.

And for students, I mentioned you a minute ago, and this truly does apply to you as well, because sometimes for students, like when you come to church and you think like, I'm supposed to obey my parents, respect my parents, be grateful for my parents that God has given me, but honestly, when I come to church, I've got my phone like, I look like the kid who honors my parents, but when I get home on Sunday afternoon, I'm not the kid who honors my parents, or even worse than that, I'm the person who looks like I'm grateful for what God has given me, but if I'm really honest about my life, when I start scrolling through TikTok or Instagram or Snapchat or whatever it is that you do, you start comparing your life to someone else's life, and you feel like you haven't received things that you wish that you had. The word honor is a really interesting word in the Old Testament. If you have your Bible this weekend, I wanna dive in to Exodus chapter 20, and if you don't have your Bible, grab your phone, but in Exodus chapter 20 in verse 12, it's where this commandment actually finds itself, and the word that it uses for honor actually has really deep meaning. In Exodus 20 verse 12, it says this,

honor your father and your mother so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God has given you. Now, most of us heard this growing up, and we actually thought it meant just obey your parents, and right then, for some of us today, we're actually thinking to ourselves, well, this is for kids, this isn't for me, but it's for us. It's for adults as well as students, as well as kids. You see, the word for honor is the word kabod. The literal meaning of the word is weight, that the thought is that we honor someone by treating them as they're substantial or significant in our life, to give them weight in your life, and the opposite is a Hebrew word called kalal, and that word actually means to make light of, to treat something as trivial, right? It literally, the word literally means feather light, so the commandment isn't obey your parents until you're 18, right? It's treat the people who brought you into the world as substantial for as long as they live and beyond, and that changes everything about who this applies to, right? The fifth commandment lands on a 45-year-old just as hard as it lands on a 15-year-old. The form changes, but the principle doesn't. When you're 15, honoring your parents looks like obedience, right,

because you're still under their authority, and even Paul in his later writings would use this word. He would talk about children obeying your parents, and the word literally means to listen under. It means God placed someone over you, listen to them, but when you're 45, honoring your parents is more like obedience, is less like obedience and more like respect or care or honestly, gratitude. Now, at our church, we talk about things that are challenging, and sometimes when we read something in Scripture, we all take it at surface level and we say, okay, honor your parents, but let's be real. There's a group of people here this weekend who come from a different perspective than I came from. They come from a perspective when you say, honor your parents, that they tensed up, that they wondered how they could do that because they're wondering right now if I understand what their parents have done to them in their life. You were probably asking questions like this, like what about the parents who hurt you? What about the parent who walked out on you and wasn't a part of your life? What about the parent who was abusive? What about the parent who's still toxic right now? And I want you to, if you will, just trust me for a second because for some of us, we don't know each other and we haven't met and had a chance to have a conversation,

but if you come from that perspective, would you just take a deep breath? Just relax for a second. Second, and I want you to listen to this part really carefully, honor does not mean pretend. It doesn't mean expose yourself to ongoing harm. It doesn't mean to lie about what happened to you. The Bible never asked you to do any of those things. Honor does not mean pretending. It doesn't mean pretending it didn't happen. It doesn't mean excusing abuse. It doesn't mean removing healthy boundaries. And it does not mean calling something good that was hurtful or harmful in your life. You see, for some people here today, honor has a different look. It comes on with a different perspective. Honor means for many people grieving. For other people, it may mean counseling and going and getting yourself healthy through that process. For some people, it means forgiveness. For others, it means boundaries. But for many, it means years of healing. But honor ultimately means this. I refuse to let my wound become my identity. Honor says, I can tell the truth about what happened. I can acknowledge the hurt. I can acknowledge the loss. And I can still trust that God is bigger than what was done to me.

Because honor's not pretending the wound isn't there. Honor is refusing to let the wound have the last word. Because the God who gave you life through broken people is still able to bring healing to the broken places in your heart and in my heart. You see, the heaviness of that for some of us, we don't understand. And for others, you're like, gosh, that's exactly where I'm at. And I never thought that could mean honoring. And today, can we just take a minute to seal that moment and pray together and just ask God to do a work in people who are hurting today? Would you just pray with me? So God, right now, we pray for people whose experience with their parents was nothing that they expected it to be. For others, it's one parent, a parent who left, a parent who never showed up. They're struggling today to try to process through. Still, what does this mean for me? And God, I just pray that you would move in our life and in our hearts, that God, you truly would take the broken places in our life and do what only you can do, just put them back together. So would you reveal to some today the path that they need to go on to accomplish that healing? We pray this in Jesus' name, amen. Now, in the 10th commandment,

when we talk about not coveting, I want you to turn, if you will, into 1 Kings chapter 21, a really interesting passage of scripture that I want you to see about a king in Israel whose name was Ahab. Now, I don't have enough time to tell you everything about Ahab this weekend, but what I do wanna do is tell you that I came up with a little sheet of information about Ahab. It's in our app. So if you go into the Faith Promise app, you go to the homepage, you just kind of scroll down, it'll say something about Ahab's name. And if you'll look at that, it's worth looking at. I think it'll just give you some great insights in contrasting Ahab to the message this weekend. But the second thing I would encourage you to do, like sometimes the Bible is just so interesting in what it says about people. So read 1 Kings 21-25. If you're not willing to do the other, just read 1 Kings 21-25, and it will tell you everything that you need to know about Ahab. Because he was the worst king ever, but he was a normal king. He had a palace. Actually, he probably had multiple palaces. He had everything that a king could ever want,

except one thing. One day when he was in the palace, he was looking out across the window into a piece of land, and he saw a piece of land and thought, that land would be good for me to have so that I could grow a vegetable garden closer to the palace. So he goes out to a man named Naboth that we're gonna read about in just a second. And Naboth owned the piece of property. He was the person who had the space there. It was his vineyard. It wasn't just a vineyard though. It was family land. It was something that he had inherited for generations and generations that he found himself owning on this day and supporting his family from. And Ahab, look at this in 1 Kings 21 and verse two, it says, and Ahab said to Naboth, let me have your vineyard to use for a vegetable garden since it is close to my palace. In exchange, I will give you a better vineyard or if you prefer, I will pay you whatever it is worth. But Naboth replied, the Lord forbid that I should give you the inheritance of my ancestors. Now, catch what Naboth is doing. He's not being stubborn. Now, remember, Naboth is the guy who owns the property.

He's not being stubborn, he's being faithful, right? This was a gift that God had given him. This was land that was from God. And Naboth wants to honor what God has given to him. So he's not gonna sell it at any price. And he's not gonna sell it even if you think about it more because not only was it in his family, but it truly was what his family used to create a life for themselves. It was way much more than a vegetable garden. So what is the most powerful man in Israel do? He goes home and he pouts to his wife. Why? Because covening has a way of making us miserable in the middle of abundance. Ahab had everything, but all he could see was the one thing he didn't have. One thing that Ahab did have was a wife. Her name was Jezebel. You've actually, if you didn't even grow up going to church, you've probably heard her name because someone will say she has a Jezebel spirit. Anybody heard that before? Well, that's his wife. And that's not a compliment if anyone ever says it, right? Like, let's be real here today. Like someone says that to you, like they're not giving you a compliment. But she says, hey, no problem, Ahab. I'll go get you the vineyard.

And she arranges a false accusation against Naboth. Naboth is actually killed and Ahab takes possession of this land. Now, do you see what just happened? Coveting, you think, stays in your heart. Well, no one saw what I saw. Coveting didn't stay in Ahab's heart. Coveting became his deception. It became his theft. It became murder. Actually, in one chapter in 1 Kings 21, we see that he breaks multiple commandments and it all started with wanting something that wasn't his. He wanted something that wasn't his. That's why some rabbis, right, they actually call the 10th commandment, you shall not covet anything that's your neighbor's. They actually call it the seedbed of all others. Why? Because coveting becomes scheming, scheming becomes action, and action becomes destruction. Now, for most of us, we would think, hey, how does this relate to faith promise in the 21st century? Because I want a lot of things that other people have, but I've never killed anyone. I've not stolen from them. You know, I've not done any of these things that he did.

And here's what I want you to see that I think is so important. The same pattern works in our life every day. You see something that you want. So what do you do? You think, right, well, maybe I'll save up and one day I'll buy this. No, you don't think that at all. What do you think? I can put that on my credit card. My credit card has six months interest free, and in six months I'll pay for it. And then what happens? What happens is you're scheming, right, that leads to this action. Six months later, when you can't afford it, leads to what? Destruction. Destruction in which way? Destruction in your finances, which leads sometimes to destruction in your marriage, which leads sometimes to destruction in all of these different splintered areas of your life. You see, most of us haven't murdered someone, but most of us make smaller versions of the same mistake. Like what? Career envy. You look at your coworker and think, why did they get the job and I didn't get that job? Or lifestyle envy, right?

Because most of us can look at someone else's life and it looks better than ours. Or relationship envy. You know, some people's kids seem to always do the right thing and always, you know, obey first time. And why is it that my kids don't seem to do that? Or at least it feels that way. Or spiritual envy. Why is it that everyone that I look out at across the world seems to know God in such an intimate way, then I don't really feel like I know God in that way. Why? Because coveting is poisoning the life that God actually gave for you, right? For the sake of one that you can maybe never have or at least not have now. I want you to think about something. Maybe you have everything that God wants you to have already. Or maybe he's waiting for a moment where he can trust you with more. See, the challenge here didn't start with social media. It started years ago and it even goes back all the way to the book of Genesis and the first chapter of the Bible, and you can look at it there. But the reality of it is that coveting shows up everywhere. And for most of us, we don't realize or think about in the moment when we're looking at other people's lives.

And it's so frustrating that we can even look at other people's lives like we can today, right? But most of us don't think about the life that exists behind the screens. I mean, nobody takes one picture and then posts that. And don't you wish that they would make like a social media for people to like screw up everything? Wouldn't it be amazing? Here's our kitchen. Look, it's, I mean, it's terrible, right? Like, wow, look at it. I mean, it's dirty, it's messy, whatever it is. Honestly, I haven't shared this. You guys are special. But we were looking at doing some work on our deck and we were looking at getting some people to do it. And then the other day I looked at my wife and I was like, hey, I think we can do that. And you're laughing because like, I've looked at it online. I think I can do it. I wasn't even coveting. I'm like, oh, I can save money and do this myself. And she's thinking, I don't wanna live that life. You know, like she doesn't wanna live with me as the person doing that. Why? Because coveting shows up everywhere. Coveting is a part really of our life whether we have social media or not. And there's a life that goes on behind the screen

that when that is all done and we post a picture of it, it won't show me throwing the drill and you know, like going to buy new boards and all the things that have to be done, right? It's just gonna be like, oh, look at this picture. Here I am. Isn't it great? It wasn't great for my wife and kids, but it sure did make a good picture. You see, coveting shows up everywhere. So what's the cure? Okay, the cure isn't more willpower. Like I'm not gonna covet anymore. The cure to coveting is gratitude. In Philippians chapter four, there's a guy there named the apostle Paul and Paul wrote so many different things to help us understand. And in Philippians four, he's writing from a jail cell in a city called Philippi. He's been placed in a Roman prison, which means literally he's sitting in the most disgusting conditions you could be in. It's wet, it's humid. There's probably rodents running around. There's definitely animal feces in this prison. He's there and he writes something for you and I. Now, what do you think he would write? You think he would write how terrible his life is. This is what he writes.

In Philippians four, verse 11, I've learned to be content, whatever the circumstances. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well-fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want, I can do all this through him who strengthens me. Catch the one word. What did he say? He said he learned it. You see, contentment isn't a personality type that you're born with. It's a practice. Paul learned it in prison, which means that you and I can actually learn it in our comparison feed or whatever place you covet, because some of you are sitting there thinking like, well, I don't even have social media, but you're like a guy who loves to fish and a bass boat passes you on a road near campus and the glitter's going and you're like, I've got to get a boat, right? Like we all have moments. Well, we're not content. It's not a personality trait. It's a practice, right? We can learn it in a culture of comparison because what? A grateful heart honors what it's been giving and a coveting heart grasps.

at what was never yours. So how do we make application of this? Let's finish up in our moments that we have today. With the fifth commandment, honor your parents. If they're living, thank your parents for something specific. If the relationship's difficult, ask God, what is one healthy act of honor that you can do? If they passed away, then just literally stop and thank God for something that they gave you that's shaping your life today. Students, it's hard. Honor your parents this week by obeying with a good attitude and thanking them for one specific thing that they've done for you. Because gratitude is one of the simplest ways that we can show honor. And last, with the 10th commandment, for each of us, as we think through it, the best thing that we can do is to take a break from whatever fuels comparison in your life. And then make a list of the things that you're grateful for and read it over and over again every day. Why? Because gratitude grows where it's practiced. And that brings us to a place where we always land, if you're a part of Faith Promise. And it's Jesus.

Because over the last few weeks, we've learned something about ourselves in this series. None of us have kept these commandments perfectly. None. And the law has been a mirror showing me my need for something. And the reality today that you may not realize, what you need is a savior. And that's exactly what the law was designed to do. You see, Jesus honored his father perfectly. He never coveted. It's so amazing how the Bible teaches us things. If you go back just a few chapters over in Philippians, in Philippians chapter two, it actually tells us that Jesus did not consider equality with God something to be grasped. The one person who had the right to grasp something chose instead to do something completely different. He gave. He gave his life to take our sin, our dishonor, our coveting, our failure, and carried it to the cross. Then he rose again so we could be forgiven and free. And listen, maybe you don't have a relationship with Jesus. You've never begun one. I get that. I understand that. But even what Jesus did has so much more for you today, because there's really just three kind of types of people here today. There's a group of people who maybe have some type of wound

that they need healing from. It wasn't your fault. And we believe that God can set you free. Actually, we're gonna have prayer counselors down front. And maybe a first step for you is just to come get someone to pray with you or for you. But we even have other steps you can take. We have Stephen ministers. We have a deliverance ministry that happens on Monday nights. There's tons of opportunities for you to experience freedom. But maybe for others, we need to free ourselves from comparison, from coveting. And for some of us, honestly, our first step is just a relationship with Jesus. Because the law was never meant to leave you condemned. The law was actually meant to lead you home. And home is beginning a relationship with Jesus. So if you just bow your head and close your eyes, if this is your first time here, maybe you never experienced this before, but here every weekend, we try to give people the chance to begin a relationship with Jesus. And the way you do that is you just ask Him to forgive you and to walk with you in your life. And we say here that no one prays alone because we're gonna pray a prayer and you can pray that prayer as well. But other people are gonna join in praying with you.

So you'll know you're never gonna be alone on your journey and your relationship with Jesus. So if you need to begin a relationship with Him right now, would you just pray this prayer? Say, dear Jesus, I know I've sinned, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me and help me because I wanna follow you and I wanna live for you. Now with our heads bowed and our eyes closed, if you just prayed that prayer and you need help to begin a relationship with Jesus and learn how to follow Him, would you just raise your hand up high where you are? Because we're gonna place a book in your hand when you raise it up so that we can help you know the steps that you need to take so that you can follow Jesus. That's awesome. Thank you so much. You can look this way. Hey, maybe you know Jesus, but life isn't. everything you expected it to be. That's what this moment is for. We're just gonna ask God to be with us, that we're gonna take steps to show our response to Him. Our prayer team will be down front. There's communion down front, other opportunities for you to express the work that God's doing in your life. So God, in this moment, we come actually just in gratitude and gratefulness

to say thank you that you weren't done with us when we didn't honor our parents or we coveted what someone else had, that God, you gave us a new moment of freedom to follow you again because of your goodness in the cross. We love you so much and thank you. In Jesus' name we pray, amen.