The Chair You Didn't Choose | Pastor Jason Mick | United City Church

It is so good to be in the house of the Lord this morning with you. Would you stand up get ready to worship? I'm shaking off the heaviness I'm dancing out of my regrets I'm throwing caution to the wind No, I am not ashamed to praise like this But I know it's worth the risk Can't forgive what Jesus did No, I am NOT ashamed to praise like this Where are all those chains that once held me? I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free My sin is gone, how can it be? I'm free, I'm free, I'm free And look at what the Lord has done I'm never going back to the way I was I'll sing, I'll dance, cause I believe I'm free, I'm free Thank God I'm free Thank God I'm free Come on I found a friend that never quits No one loves as good as this And I don't care what anyone says I'll never be ashamed to praise like this Where are all those chains that once held me? I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free My sin is gone, how can it be? I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free And look at what the Lord has done I'm never going back to the way I was I'll sing, I'll dance, cause I believe

I'm free, I'm free Thank God I'm free You took the cross and you broke your body You shed your blood, now the sinner can sing My debt is paid and my record is clean I couldn't do it so you did it for me You took the cross and you broke your body You shed your blood, now the sinner can sing My debt is paid and my record is clean I couldn't do it so you did it for me You took the cross and you broke your body You shed your blood, now the sinner can sing My debt is paid and my record is clean I couldn't do it so you did it I couldn't do it so you did it for me I couldn't do it so you did it for me I couldn't do it so you did it for me I couldn't do it so you did it Where are all those chains that once held me? I'm free, I'm free I'm free, I'm free My sin is gone and I'll carry it I'm free, I'm free I'm free, I'm free Look at what the Lord has done I'm never going back to the way I was I'll sing, I'll dance, cause I believe I'm free, I'm free Thank God I'm free You took the cross and you broke your body

You shed your blood, now the sinner can sing My debt is paid and my record is clean I couldn't do it so you did it You took the cross and you broke your body You shed your blood, now the sinner can sing My debt is paid and my record is clean I couldn't do it so you did it I couldn't do it so you did it for me I couldn't do it so you did it for me I couldn't do it so you did it for me Now look at what the Lord has done I'm never going back to the way I was Now look at what the Lord Look at what He's done in your circumstance Look at what He's done in your situation Look at what the Lord has done I'll never go, He never will, come on Now look at what the Lord has done I'm never going back to the way I was Amen, Amen Amen, amen. You guys should go ahead and grab a seat. We are having a little bit of church up in here at 10 o'clock. It is so good to see you. Welcome to United City Church. We are so thankful that you've decided to worship with us today. My name is Chris Cuba. I have the privilege of being the lead pastor here at United City.

And I want to say welcome to all of you, especially those of you that are first-time guests. Every week, we've got so many folks that come and join with us. And we want to make sure that you don't just slip in and slip out. We want to know who you are. We want to come alongside of you. If you'll do us a favor, there is a little card in the seat back in front of you. Grab that and fill that out for us. There's a first-time guest area out in the lobby. Go by there. We've got a gift we want to give to you. Or you can take your phone, and you can actually just tap the tap tag right there. And you can fill something out for us digitally. We'd love to have the opportunity. I personally would love to have the opportunity to reach out to you to thank you for being here. Hey, in just a moment, we're going to have an opportunity to take up our offering, our chance to give back to a God who has been so generous to us. And one of our core values here at United City Church is the Bible speaks. We believe in God's Word. We believe in the Bible. And I want you to know that whenever you give, a lot of times whenever you think about giving, you think that giving always leads to less.

Like, I don't have as much. I don't get to buy as much. I don't get to enjoy as much. But giving, what we found, actually always leads to more. Because what happens is, is you have the opportunity when you give to be able to experience blessings through the gifts that you give. And one of the things we get to do this week, which is so exciting, and one of the things that you get to provide through your faithful giving and generosity, is we're giving every one of these kindergartners behind me a copy of their first Bible to use in big church, all right? Which is pretty cool. All right, first of all, kindergartners, don't they just look amazing, by the way? They look great, OK? Here's what I want you guys to do, all right? Everybody, show me your Bibles. Everybody, show me your Bibles. Show me your Bibles, all right? Here's what I want you to do. I want you to put the Bible down in front of you on the ground. Put the Bible in front of you on the ground, all right? Here's what I want this to represent, OK? This Bible that's in front of you, OK? Psalm chapter 119, verse 11 says, I've hidden God's word in my heart that I might not sin against Him. What I want you to think about this

is that this right here means the Bible is something that you can always stand on in your life. No matter where you go and what you do, you can always stand on God's word. And here's what I want you to do. I want you to grab your Bibles, pick them up, pick them up. Pick up your Bibles for me. Pick up your Bibles. And this time, what I want you to do, you can pick it up. I promise. It's good, yep. You can pick it up. You can pick it up. Yep, there you go, perfect. Here's what I want you to do. I want you to take your Bible, and I want you to hold it over your head like this. Hold it really high, really, really high. Really, really high, as high as you can reach it. What I want this to represent to all of you is that you can stand underneath God's word. Second Timothy 3 says this, that all scripture is breathed out by God. It's profitable for teaching, reproof, correction, training. What I want you to know, guys, is this. You can always listen to what God says and live underneath what He says. OK, put your hands down. I know you're tired. Put your hands down.

These are heavy Bibles. We gave you some real Bibles, all right? Not some cheap ones, some good Bibles, all right? Put them down. OK, here we go. Now, here's what I want you to do. I want you to hold your Bible out in front of you like this. Hold it out in front of you. Hold it out like this. Hold it out, come on. Here's what I want you to see. Psalm 119, verse 105 says, your word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path. I want you to know this, everywhere that you walk in front of you, let God's word guide you and lead you and show you where you need to go. OK, last thing. Everybody get your Bibles. And I want you to hug it as close as you possibly can like this. Squeeze it really, really tight up to your hearts. Squeeze it. Give it the biggest hug ever. Make sure to squeeze it hard, OK? Here's what I want this to represent, OK? You can cherish and you can love God's word. Romans chapter 5, verse 8 says this. God demonstrated His love for us that He sent His Son Jesus to die for us while we were still sinners. The greatest story that has ever been told

is inside of that Bible that you guys hold that we're giving to you. And I want you to know this, you'll love it and you'll cherish it as you love God's word. You'll learn to love Jesus, who is the author and the perfecter and the finisher of all of our faith. And He is what all of this Bible points to. Let's give these kindergartners a hand and welcome them to big church with us. Hey, do me a favor, church. Do me a favor. I want to pray a blessing over every single one of these as we prepare to receive our offering. So would you do me a favor and show you're joining me doing that prayer by just extending your hand towards every one of these kindergartners as we pray. Father in Jesus. In God's name, we pray your blessing over every single one of these kindergartners. We are so thankful that they get to come to Big Church. We're so thankful, Lord, that they get to open up God's word for themselves and see not only the stories that have been so faithfully taught to them up until this point, but God, they get to experience these for themselves. God, I pray your blessing over each and every one of them. I pray that they would call upon you at a very young age. They would know you as their Lord and as their Savior,

and that God, you would bless them. You'd bless their families. You'd let them be servants of yours, and that they could live and forever love and cherish the word of God, but most importantly, the one that the word points to, and that is Jesus. And it's in his name that we pray, amen. Let's give them a hand as they make their way back off stage. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. We praise Jesus because it's in these moments that we see his love, that we see his goodness. We invite you to rise and sing this prayer.

Lord, make us more aware of you, of your presence. Nothing can compare, you're all living, oh Lord. Your presence, your presence, Lord. I have tasted and seen of the sweetest of loves, where my heart becomes free, and my shame is undone. Your presence, Lord. We sing out today. Holy Spirit, you are welcome. You are welcome. Come flood this place and fill the atmosphere. Your glory, God, is what our hearts long for. To be overcome by your presence, Lord. By your presence, Lord. Your presence, Lord. Yes. Come on, church, let's sing this together. There's nothing worth more that could ever come close. No thing can compare, you're all living, oh Lord. Your presence, Lord. Holy Spirit, sing. Holy Spirit, you are welcome. Holy Spirit, you are welcome. Come flood this place and fill the atmosphere. Your glory, God, is what our hearts long for. To be overcome by your presence, Holy Spirit. Your presence, Holy Spirit. You're welcome in this place, oh God, yes. Oh, fill this atmosphere, God. It's what we long for. More of your power, more of your presence, God.

Yeah, yeah. Your presence, your presence, God, it's what we need. So we will walk right, live right, and need it, oh God. Let us become more aware. ♪ Let us become more aware of your presence ♪ ♪ Let us experience the glory of your good ♪ We sing out today, church. ♪ Let us become more aware of your presence, Lord ♪ ♪ Let us experience the glory of your goodness ♪ ♪ Let us become more aware, let us become aware ♪ ♪ Let us experience the glory of your goodness, Lord ♪ ♪ Oh, Holy Spirit, you are welcome here ♪ Come flood this place, God. Let our hearts, Jesus, we need you, we need you. ♪ The glory of God is what our hearts long for, Jesus ♪ ♪ By your presence, Lord, let us experience your goodness ♪ Have your way in this place, oh God. Do what only you can do, Jesus. Yes, yes, fill this place. Fill this place, oh God. It's what we long for. Holy Spirit, Holy Spirit dwell. Have your way, God. Yes. We really need you, we really need you. ♪ Can't go back to the beginning ♪ ♪ I can't control what tomorrow will bring ♪ ♪ But I know here in the middle, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ Is the place where you promised to be, you promised me ♪ ♪ And I do not, unless you call me, will you meet me here again ♪

♪ And I do not, unless you call me, will you meet me here again ♪ ♪ Cause all I want is all you are, will you meet me here again ♪ ♪ All I want is all you are, will you meet me here again ♪ ♪ Coming back to where we started ♪ ♪ Coming back to where I started, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ As I walk now through the valley ♪ ♪ Let your love rise above, let it rise above ♪ ♪ Like the sun shaping the shadows ♪ ♪ When my weakness, your glory appears ♪ ♪ Will you meet me here again ♪ ♪ I'm not enough, unless you call me, will you meet me here again ♪ ♪ Cause all I want is all you are, will you meet me here again ♪ ♪ Will you meet me, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ I'm not enough, unless you come, will you meet me here again ♪ ♪ Coming back to where I started ♪ ♪ Cause all I want is all you are, will you meet me here again ♪ ♪ All I want is all you are, will you meet me here again ♪ ♪ Holy Spirit, come and breathe, come and breathe, will you breathe, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ You're right beside me, you go before, you stand behind me ♪ ♪ Oh to praise it, yes to praise it ♪ ♪ Cause not for a minute was it forsaken ♪ ♪ The Lord is in this place, the Lord is in this place ♪ ♪ So come Holy Spirit, your rivals awaken ♪ ♪ Awaken, the Lord is in this place, the Lord is in this place ♪ ♪ Not for a minute was it forsaken ♪ ♪ The Lord is in this place, the Lord is in this place ♪ ♪ So come Holy Spirit, your rivals awaken ♪ ♪ The Lord is in this place, the Lord is in this place ♪ Oh Jesus, our hearts are yours. King Jesus, our minds are yours.

King Jesus, our lives are yours. We say yes to your will. We say yes to your way. Father, we know that if we confess our sin before you, then you are faithful and just to cleanse us of our unrighteousness. If we would just bow at your feet, if we would just fall at the feet of the master, King Jesus, you would meet us. So would you meet us, King Jesus? ♪ Would you meet us, oh Lord ♪ ♪ I'm not enough unless you call ♪ ♪ Can you meet me here again ♪ ♪ Cause all I want is everything you are ♪ ♪ Jesus meet us here again ♪ ♪ Will you meet us, will you meet us ♪ ♪ We're not enough unless you call ♪ ♪ Will you call, will you meet me here again ♪ ♪ Cause all I want, cause all I want is all you are ♪ ♪ Will you meet me here again ♪ ♪ Do whatever you want to, do whatever you want to ♪ ♪ I will make room for you, do whatever you want to do ♪ ♪ Do whatever you want to, do whatever you want to do ♪ ♪ I will make room for you, to do whatever you want to do ♪ ♪ To do whatever you want to, do whatever you want to do ♪ ♪ To do whatever you want to, do whatever you want to do ♪ ♪ Shake up the ground of all my traditions ♪ ♪ Break down the walls of all my religion ♪ ♪ Your way is better, your way is better ♪ ♪ Shake up the ground of all my traditions ♪

♪ Break down the walls of all my religion ♪ ♪ Your way is better, yes it is, come on shake up the ground, shake ♪ ♪ Shake up the ground of all my traditions ♪ ♪ Break down the walls of all my religion ♪ ♪ Your way is better, your way is better ♪ ♪ Shake up the ground of all my traditions ♪ ♪ Break down the walls of all my religion ♪ ♪ Your way is better, your way is better, your way is better ♪ ♪ Your way is better, your way is better, your way is better, your way is better, your way is better, your way is better, your way, your way is better, your way is better, your way is better, your way is better, your way is better ♪ ♪ Your way is better, your way is better, your way is better, your way, your way is better, your way is better, your way is better, your way is better, I will make room for you ♪ Whatever you want to, I will make room for you ♪ ♪ Do whatever you want to, whatever you want to ♪ ♪ I need thee, oh I need thee, every hour of my days ♪ Bless me now. ♪ Bless me now, my Savior, I come to thee ♪ One more time, I need thee, say, I need thee. ♪ Oh I need thee, every hour, every hour I need thee ♪ Bless me now. ♪ Bless me now, my Savior, I come to thee ♪ Thank you. That's it, let's thank God. We'll stay a little bit longer. Let's do a Jesus club. Let's do one more song. Thank you guys. One more song. One more time. Well good morning church, how we feeling 10 o'clock? Excellent, my name is Jason Mick and I just want to extend on behalf of

Pastor Chris's welcome and myself, just welcome to United City Church. And especially for all of you who are tuning in online, joining us from remote or even perhaps from one of our correctional facilities via the Pando app, church family in the room, can we just welcome those who are online and tuning in today. It is a joy to have you in the house with us. I'm gonna invite you to open up your copy of God's Word, your Bible, to 2 Samuel, 2 Samuel chapter 15. And if you're one of our new kindergartners who just got your Bible, I did some homework for you. It's page number 435. Page number 435. And for the adults, look at your table of contents. It's okay. Also, if you've been a part of this series with us in our King's Table series, we've offered up journals for you to be able to take notes. Today you might be here for the very first time. Welcome. We wanna put a journal in your hand, that way you can take notes. If you just hold up your hand, indicate to us that you need a journal. We've got some people who are gonna walk around and pass those out to you. You're gonna wanna open those up to page number 12.

Page number 12. Now, throughout this series, we've been using this image, if you will, of a table. A King's Table, and been asking the basic question, who is sitting at your table? Who's sitting at your table? And we left off last week where we looked at David and the chair that was filled by Saul. The people who are sitting at your table, these are people who help shape you. These are people that speak into you. These are people that have your ear or have influence in your life. But this week, this week is different. This is the week where we look at our table and we look at the chairs, and we see the chair in which we wish somebody was in. It's an empty chair. It's an empty chair that symbolizes that there used to be a relationship, used to have a friendship. There used to be trust. There used to be ongoing conversation. There was a closeness. But somewhere along the way, something happened. Maybe something along the way didn't happen. Maybe you know exactly what it was. Maybe there was a moment, words were said, trust was broken, someone got hurt. Maybe it wasn't just one dramatic moment.

Maybe it was a series of small events over time that led up to moments of distance. It's a conversation that never happened. hurt that was never addressed, an apology that was never extended or given or received, a phone call that kept getting placed on the back burner and slowly the chair became empty. So how does somebody who used to sit at your table end up missing from it? That's the story of David and one of his sons, Absalom. And this story gives us a warning that I want us to carry today. And I want you to write it down. It is in your journals, but the main point of today is this, is that leaders who ignore relational health will experience and eventually feel pain. Leaders who ignore relational health eventually feel relational pain. And when we say leaders, we're not just saying CEOs, bosses, presidents, pastors. If somebody looks to you, trusts you, follows you, listens to you, works with you, you have influence. And if for nothing else, if none of those are true, you lead yourself. Every single one of us have influence. Every single one of us are leaders. Today, David is going to show us what can happen when we are courageous in the outside world

and incredibly, incredibly passive with the people closest to us. Before we get to Absalom in chapter 15, we need to remember where David has been and spend a few moments in the context leading up to 15 and eventually in 18, where we'll be today. David has experienced incredible key moments of success. He has defeated Goliath. He has survived Saul. He has united the kingdom together. He's won a lot of battles. In 2 Samuel chapter 11, we see David commits adultery with Bathsheba and eventually has her husband killed on the front line. That's another message. You're gonna have to come back for that one. David repents, God forgives, but that did not leave David void of the consequences of his sin. And in chapter 12, Nathan reminds David that his sin will have a ripple effect throughout his household. In chapter 13, that's exactly where we see David's family spiraling and ripping apart. A massive family conflict and tragedy occurs. The Bible says that David is angry, but what the Bible doesn't record, it infers is that there was no meaningful action. So David sees this tragedy, he's angered by it,

but there's no confrontation, no conversation, no justice, no restoration. There's only plain passivity by David. And guess who's watching? Absalom. Absalom's watching his son do nothing. Absalom decides, if my father's not gonna do anything, I'm gonna seek revenge and justice and put it into my own hands. And he has someone murdered. He then flees for three years, three years. I'm gonna give you guys a few more numbers. If you're taking notes, we'll do some quick math in a moment. Eventually, David allows Absalom to come back to Jerusalem, but doesn't want anything to do with Absalom. So Absalom, he's home, but he isn't really home. He's near his father, but there's no restored relationship. And guess what? You're writing down numbers? Two more years have now passed. Two more years. Let's do some quick math. Two years after the incident took place, three years in exile, two more years in Jerusalem without seeing his father's face. My quick math tells me that's seven. Seven years of unresolved pain, seven years of distance, seven years of conversations that needed to happen,

and seven years of things left unaddressed. Seven years. Tragedy, conflict, not addressed. Here's one of the warnings David's story gives us that I want you to write down. What we refuse to face will fester. What we refuse to address will address us. We sometimes convince ourselves that if we leave something alone, if we just leave it long enough, things will settle down, and time does do that. But if we believe that time itself will just take care of it and everybody will move on, we're mistaken because unresolved relationship pain rarely stays contained. It grows, it travels, it shows up somewhere else. And for those two years, David and Aslam aren't across the country from each other. They're in the same city, which means you can be close to somebody and still be miles apart relationally. You can live in the same house and be distant, sit at the same table and be distant, work in the same office and be distant. Proximity is not presence. Proximity is not presence. Eventually what David has left unresolved inside of his family is going to affect an entire kingdom. What he doesn't face in his family is now going to impact the entire kingdom. And this is where we find ourselves

in the thick of this narrative in 2 Samuel 15. This is where we see Aslam, where he begins positioning himself at the city gate. He gets up early, he goes, and he goes down to the gate to meet and to listen, to hear their disputes and their problems. He listens to them. Aslam, he validates them. He makes them feel seen. And then scripture gives us a haunting sentence in verse six, chapter 15, verse six. So Aslam stole the hearts of the men of Israel. Of the men of Israel. Slowly, one person at a time, one conversation, one heart at a time. Now understand, Aslam is not the hero in this story. He's not the hero. Aslam is guilty of being manipulative, deceptive, ambitious, and he's chasing after his father's throne. And the sobering reality is that there was a relational vacuum that was formed and shaped, and Aslam stepped right into it, and he launched this coup. Look at verse 13 with me. And a messenger came to David saying, the hearts of the men of Israel have gone after Aslam. David would respond to this, and it says, arise and let us flee. Think about how far this has traveled. How did we get to this place?

Because what has begun as an unresolved pain inside David's family now is causing civil war in the kingdom. And the same king who faced Goliath, who defeated the giant, is now fleeing his own city of Jerusalem because of his own son. Chapter 15, verse 30. It says, David went up to the ascent of the Mount of Olives, weeping as he went, barefoot and with his head covered. This is the mighty warrior. This is King David, weeping and barefoot. At this point in time, David, he's feeling shame. He's feeling guilt. This reminds us that leaders who ignore relational health eventually feel relational pain. It's easy to look at David and say, man, he absolutely blew it. And he did. He did. But I have a great question for us this morning. How do I have relational health? How do you and I have relational health? How do we not just have it, how do we either find it, build it, and grow it? How do we have relational health? How do I and how do you keep the chairs that God has entrusted to you?

to me from slowly becoming empty due to passivity. I think David's story gives us three things that I want you to write down. The first is this, number one, face what matters. Face what matters. David could face the giant. He could face the armies and the enemies. But when the battle moved inside of his own family, David didn't just become passive in that moment, David's passivity was revealed. And men, if you and I were to recall the story back in Genesis, this was an Adam problem too, that his sin of omission and his sin of passivity was an issue even in the garden when Eve went for the fruit. Adam could have said, that's not the move. Walk in, fam. He didn't do it. He was passive. It's not a gender thing, but men, we are more susceptible to the sin of passivity. And I wonder, while we weren't in the garden, how many of us struggle with this today? Well, we're courageous in the outside world, but passive in our own inner circles. We win at work, but we fail at home. And can I just lovingly tell us, if we win at work and in our jobs, but fail at home, we lose. Our families and our homes are our first priority.

Sure, we'll handle the difficult employee conversation at work, but man, we shy away from that difficult conversation with our spouse. Y'all know what I'm talking about. Y'all had that blow up yesterday and there's tension. You're like, your wife is like, why don't you lead out and talk about this? I don't want to. You know what I'm talking about, guilty. I know, I ain't just preaching about me today. We'll fight for something online that won't matter three days from now, but we bypass and we're passive about conversations that could impact generations. Y'all been on those Facebook groups. Y'all wild. We're quick to solve everybody else's problems and avoid the tension in one of our closest relationships. Relational health requires courage. I want you to write down that word, courage. Courage. Men. When men become courageous, it will stiffen the spines of other men. This is where we got to lean in for a moment. We can't accept passivity. The moment that we choose passivity, life will pass you by. Men, it doesn't mean that we're afraid.

It doesn't mean that we have all the answers or some of the solutions. I think the enemy has got some of you paralyzed with passivity because you sit idly by going, well, I just don't know what to do. Take courage. Face what matters today. What we refuse to face, it will fester. I want to make this really practical. Some of you already know what it is that perhaps is a layer of passivity in your life. Something you've been avoiding. There's that tension in the marriage. There's something going on with one of your kids. There's a friendship or relationship that's changed. There's something between you and a coworker or a boss. There's a conversation, students, with your parents or a sibling. You just keep postponing, and you're hoping time will do something that God may be asking you to address. Sometimes love and facing things looks like having simple, profound conversations. Saying something along the lines of, can we talk, question mark. Can we talk? My wife is 4'10 and 3'4, she's tiny but mighty. And when Aaron approaches me with the question, can we talk, I mean, it's just like my mom saying my middle name.

And I'm, oh, this, oh, okay. Can we talk? What you wanna talk about? You know I know what she wants to talk about. I'm like, do we really have to address it? Can we talk? Saying things like, I think something's changed between us. What about owning something? I know I hurt you. Men, write these three words down. Help me understand. We are prone naturally, we just want to fix it. And we may know what she wants to say, but she doesn't need us to say it, she wants us to listen. Help me understand. We don't know what we don't know, men. Help me understand. Men, lean in and listen. That's a gift. Lay down our pride and say things like, lay down our pride and say things like, I was wrong. I was wrong. When's the last time you looked at someone and said, will you forgive me? It's easy to say, they should forgive me. When's the last time you said, will you forgive me? Are we okay? We good? Don't confuse the absence of conflict with relational health. Don't confuse the absence of conflict with relational health.

And some of you, you're like conflict averse. You're like, I don't like it, I'm a peacemaker, I don't want nothing to do with it. Someone over there, you have the hard conversations. I'm not telling you to be weird and go pick fights with people and just go find conflict. That's not what I'm telling you. What I am encouraging you to do is that when conflict arises, and we're all sinners, and if you don't think you're a sinner, you're a liar, you just sinned, we're all sinners, and conflict exists because we're all fallen, sinful people. And because of that, we have to address things in truth, in grace, in love. David and Absalom went years, years, without addressing this, without talking face to face. They weren't healthy, they were distant. Face what matters. How do we have relational health? Write this down, number two. Practice intentional presence. Practice intentional practice. We talk about practice. And we talk about a game. We're not just talking about practice for the sake of practice. We gotta learn how to practice perfect so that what shows up is real. Man, this is where the story gets so real for me. Many of you know, I have four kids.

I've heard one of them say, if not all of them say at some point in time, this phrase or something close to it. Dad, you're on your phone a lot. I can give reasons, I can give excuses. I'm communicating, I'm answering emails, I'm making important decisions. I'm doing the Lord's work for the church. And sometimes I'm just guilty of scrolling. I've realized many things. One thing in this particular category, just below the surface of intentions is that my kids don't experience my intentions. They experience my attention. I love my kids. Nothing I wouldn't do for them. But I want them to experience my love through experiencing my attention and affection and presence with and for them. Most of this can happen in just ordinary moments. The car rides to school, from school, from an activity to an activity. The time around a dinner table. Can we just bring that back in our culture? Quality time, protected family time. The evening conversation after we're wrangling kids to do homework and get in the bath, and did you really use soap? And have you brushed your teeth? And you're like, it's past your bedtime,

but your kids just want 10 more minutes. Kids don't take advantage of this. And we just linger for a moment, and we're not distracted. We put these down, and we put them away. And when they ask a question, we lean in and we let it go. to say, tell me more about that. And when they start talking about something, you're not dismissive, but you're saying, help me understand. In those ordinary moments, they can experience our attention. Y'all know, listen, I have not got this figured out. This message has been beating me up for weeks, and I need this too. I just, I don't wanna be available for everybody else at the cost of those who know me best and have relationships with me, not to get my best. They don't need to get the leftovers. You're in our circle, they don't need leftovers. I need to be more intentionally present and focused. Parents, let me just say this. I'm not saying all this to you to just bury you in guilt. Our kids don't need perfect parents. Mine don't have them. What they need are parents who turn towards Jesus and turn towards them. You don't have to be perfect. You do have to be intentional.

This isn't only aimed at parenting, folks. This could be your spouse, it could be friends. People in your life group need your intentional presence. The people you lead need more than your decisions. Sometimes they just need your attention. Some of you, you've got aging parents and they need your presence. Somebody sitting across the table from you may need you to stop fixing, stop talking, stop checking your phone and just listen. Proximity is not presence. Proximity is not presence. How do I have relational health? Write this down, number three. Speak while there is time. Speak while there is time. Eventually, Absalom's rebellion, it leads to war. David's forces, they go out and they fight. And before they leave, listen to this one thing that David says about Absalom. Fast forward to me, with me, in chapter 18, verse five. Couple chapters over. 2 Samuel 18, verse five. David says, deal gently for my sake with the young man, Absalom. After everything that's taken place, David still loves his son. There's still an unconditional love of the father for his son. Love was never the question.

Love was never the issue. The tragedy is that for years, David's love didn't move him toward Absalom. During the battle, Absalom is caught in a tree and Joab finds him and reports back to David that Absalom has been killed. And David, he asks the question of the messenger, is it well with the young man, Absalom? And he tells him that he has passed. Look at verse 33, chapter 18, verse 33. After finding Absalom, Joab says, chapter 18, verse 33. After finding out this news that his son had died and the king was deeply moved and went up to the chamber over the gate and wept. And as he went, he said, oh, my son, Absalom. My son, my son, Absalom. Would I had died instead of you, oh, Absalom, my son, my son. Five times, my son. This isn't just King David talking anymore. This is David the dad. David has won battles. He's won this battle, but he just lost his son. The chair is empty. All the conversations that could have happened that never happened. All the words that could have been spoken, but never spoken. All the years of distance and now there's

no conversation left to be had. The chair is empty. David finally says everything. He says, my son, my son, if only I could have died instead of you. He says it all, but what's the issue? Absalom is not there to hear it. David begins calling out, crying out, longing for his son, but Absalom doesn't hear it. This is where I want to challenge us. Don't wait for grief to speak. Don't wait. Don't wait for those moments, oh, I wish I would have said, I wish I could, I should. What is Jesus calling and leading you to do and say today? Go do it. What is it that God is prompting you to leave passivity and to walk in obedience and faithfulness to do? Listen, folks, friends, men, women, boys, and girls, whatever it is that Jesus is telling you to do, go do that thing, and if you know what he's telling you to do and you don't do it, that's called passivity. That's what we're dealing with. You say, well, that's uncomfortable. That's awkward. Lean into the awkward so we can get to the awesome. We can see the reconciliation. We can see the healing. We can see the forgiveness. We can see the grace of God. I don't want to grieve someday to say what love could say today, and I don't want that for you either. I want you right now to think of perhaps an individual or a situation that, that would

be like your seven-year relationship. Maybe it's been seven years, seven months, seven weeks, seven days, seven hours. I don't know. What's your situation? Who's that person? Maybe write down a first name. Write down the situation. You used to talk. You used to be close. You used to be in your group. You used to be someone that you called and spoke with and hung out with. They used to have a seat at your table, and something has happened. What's their name? Where there is still opportunity, let me encourage you, don't waste it. Maybe there's a conversation you need to have this week. Have it. Do it. Maybe you need to say, I love you. I'm proud of you. I miss you. I forgive you. I'm sorry. Will you forgive me? Can we talk? Speak while there is time. Life is but of a mist, and we're not promised tomorrow, folks. For some of us, we don't need one dramatic conversation. What we need is a new pattern of intentional presence, practicing and being more disciplined and active, attentive, caring. Relationships rarely, rarely just fall apart in one moment, though they certainly do.

Relationships will tether because certain things are not strengthened one thing at a time. Things fall apart. But in the reverse, relationships can be built one small act at a time. They are built through consistency and time. Rome wasn't built in a day, but it was built every day. Build consistency in the daily. Build consistency in the ordinary. David's story is filled with acts of absence. But what if your life, what if my life is marked by intentional acts of presence? What if the church of Jesus Christ was known for actively stepping in and engaging into the mess like Jesus has stepped into ours? Before we leave David weeping over Absalom, there's something in his cry we cannot miss. David says, what I had died instead of you. Think about what he's saying. I wish I could trade places with my rebellious son. I just wish I could trade places with him. And the reality is that David couldn't. David can't. He cannot undo what has happened. He cannot take Absalom's place. But generations later, there was a king that came from the line of David who could, and his name is Jesus, a better king. David wished he could take the place of his rebellious son Jesus actually took your place in my place Jesus is the one who took upon your shame your guilt your sin your punishment David cried if only I could die instead of you at the cross Jesus did He did Folks that's why this message is not just simply put well, you know, I'm gonna go home and be better at relationships. I Think that's a great mindset

But there's something beyond that surface level thought too Because we need more than just relational techniques. We need the grace and the strength and the forgiveness of God If We're gonna be courageous men. We've got to address our passivity head-on Address it surrender it and say Lord help me where I'm weak. Leave me where I lack. I Don't want to be a champion out there and be a loser here where it matters most Every single one of us We've been the distant one Every one of us have sinned every one of us have rebelled against God and as pastor Chris was telling our Kindergartners in the beautiful that you can tell small children with a childlike faith even the simple powerful profound Word of the gospel that God showed that God demonstrated his love for us that while we were still sinners Christ died for us That Is God actively moving towards you and Me while we were far away God moved while yet We were still sinners and rebellious God moved towards us while we were guilty of our sin. God moved towards us Jesus doesn't love us from afar. Jesus loves us and he's near and because through Jesus Because of the finished work of the cross Because the tomb is empty death hell in the grave have been Defeated we too can extend and walk towards people And we move towards people because our King moved towards us, let me ask the question one more time So, how do we have relational health? We're gonna be people who face what matters We're not going to bury our heads we're not going to pretend We're gonna practice presence because we understand that proximity is not presence We're gonna speak while there's time We're not gonna wait for grief to say what love could say today And today I'm exhorting you to not just write down the name of the person of the situation. That is your seven-year

And do nothing about it And do nothing about it I'm encouraging you to write it down Pray about it now go do something about it Lean into the awkward so we can experience the awesome What's the awesome the grace of God Perhaps so that the relationship that needs to get restored Isn't a horizontal one on this side of eternity. Maybe it's a vertical one with with God Maybe today while we've been asking the question who's who's sitting at your table The most vital The most important and the one that hinges on where you and I spend all of eternity is are you sitting at God's table There's a place for you The invitation is extended to you You don't have to be the wondering Rebellious You don't have to be the wondering rebellious Lost individual anymore You can come home Take a seat Be saved Be redeemed be made new be redeemed be restored and welcomed to the father's table You bow your head and close your eyes with me It's our time of invitation of response. I'm gonna ask that no one leave during this time Today, you're here and you're saying, Jason, that's me right there. I've yet to ask Jesus to forgive me of my sins. I have not yet asked Jesus to come and save me,

to change me. I need to surrender my life to him and ask him to be my Lord. In just a moment, we're gonna stand and sing, and I wanna invite you, if God is reaching into your heart and inviting you to come in a relationship with him, then respond by faith today to the grace and goodness of God. Say yes to that relationship. Say yes to the salvation that is only found in Jesus Christ. Perhaps you're here today, and you've made that profession, but you need to take your next step in believer's baptism, like we saw in our last service and we'll see in our next service. Come forward and let us talk with you about baptism and getting that scheduled and helping walk that journey with you. Others of you, you've been coming to United City. You've been checking this place out, but today is your day to say, this is our church home. This is a place where we belong. This is a place where we can believe, and we can tether ourselves to people around Jesus and on his word and go take the mission of the gospel to the ends of the earth.

But also during this time of invitation, I know that the enemy is real and that the enemy has a stronghold on many, paralyzing you in fear, allowing you to live in passivity. But today you're seeing and knowing that God is calling you out. He's calling you to a life of freedom and to break the chains today. So this altar is gonna be open. Stop trying and start surrendering. You know what needs to take place in your life, but you're avoiding it. Be definitive today. No more passivity. Lean into active living and walking by faith. This is our time of invitation. However God is leading you, respond to him. Holy Spirit, we pray, Lord, during this time, God, that you would stir up the ground. You would move in this place, Lord, not allowing us to sit idly by, passive and comfortable. God, would you stir? Holy Spirit, move now that we may be free. We love you. Praise in Jesus' name. Amen.

Would you stand? Would you sing? And if today you need to make a decision, stand and come forward. ♪ Not for a minute was I forsaken ♪ ♪ The Lord is in this place ♪ ♪ The Lord is in this place ♪ ♪ Come Holy Spirit, dry bones awaken ♪ ♪ The Lord is in this place ♪ ♪ The Lord is in this place ♪ ♪ Not for a minute was I forsaken ♪ ♪ The Lord is in this place ♪ ♪ The Lord is in this place ♪ ♪ So come Holy Spirit, dry bones awaken ♪ ♪ The Lord is in this place ♪ ♪ The Lord is in this place ♪ ♪ Not for a minute was I forsaken ♪ ♪ The Lord is in this place ♪ ♪ The Lord is in this place ♪ ♪ So come Holy Spirit, dry bones awaken ♪ ♪ The Lord is in this place ♪ ♪ The Lord is in this place, oh ♪ Church, we love you and we love you enough to tell you that the Lord is good. He meets us where we're at, but he loves us enough where he doesn't leave us in our own sin and our own mess. These moments of invitation, while I know that God is stirring and moving, perhaps you didn't come forward, but God is at work. Tell someone today, and men,

can I just speak to our men for a moment? I believe this to be true, that when the men of God get serious about the things of God and we repent of sin, our courage to do so will stiffen the spines of others around us. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Men of today, if you are paralyzed by something where you're at, I want you to know something. God loves you. God sees you. God cares for you and watch what God will do in and through you if you'll simply come to Him. Church we love you. Men we love you. We love you. Jeremy. Thank you Pastor Jason. Hey guys my name is Jeremy Winters and I serve as the residency director here at United City Church as well as the men's and women's pastor and I've got two things I want to share with you and kind of let you know about before we leave this morning. First I want to speak to the men in the room. All right you just heard a great challenge to step away from passivity into activity. We want to give you an opportunity to do that very thing. Okay you've asked for it we've listened and we're bringing back Thursday morning men's Bible studies. The difference is this is not going to be every week into perpetuity. All right you're not signing up for every Thursday for the rest of your life. This is the first Thursday of every month kind of beginning on September the 3rd from 6 to 7 a.m. There's a QR code on the screen I want to encourage you if you're gonna be a part of that come with us. Bring your

Bible, bring a friend, come. All right on that first week we're gonna kick off with free breakfast and coffee for all the guys who are there but we need you to actually sign up so we've got a head count for breakfast. All right we don't want to don't want to have a great breakfast for you and you didn't sign up and now I've got to slap some food out of your hand give it to somebody else because they signed up and you didn't. All right so come join us be a part of this it's gonna be a great time to connect with other guys if you're looking for that and haven't had a chance to do that and encourage one another and spur one another on. Okay so join us for that. Second before we go I want to introduce you to a great group of young leaders who are standing behind me who are taking their next step in their calling that the Lord has placed on their life. Okay we believe that part of our responsibility at United City Church is to make new disciples today but part of our responsibility is also to raise up the next generation of church leaders for tomorrow and that's what our residency program is for. So over the course of the next year this group of residents and apprentices are going to be learning and growing and serving and leading alongside our church staff. All right went through hands-on hands-on practical ministry experience biblical training and community all to kind of prepare them to serve the Lord faithfully for decades and decades to come. All right so let me introduce them to you. Beginning on your left my right we've got three apprentices which means that they're kind of here part-time and four residents which means that they're here full-time so every hour every day kind of soaking it up. Over here on your left is Tristan who serves in our kids ministry. Next to him is Desiree who also serves in our kids ministry and Aaron Achella who serves in worship ministry and you'll see him often back there rocking it out on the drums on Sunday mornings. All right so those are our apprentices who are here part-time. Next up is Mason who's serving in our youth ministry. Next to her is Karis who serves in our youth ministry as well. Next to her is John Redford who serves in groups and adult discipleship and for those who don't know John and Karis got married not long ago all right here just

a couple months ago. Last and definitely not least is Jesse who serves in Espanol with Pastor Gerben with our Espanol congregation. Would you do one last thing with me would you just stand if you're sitting would you extend a handout over these president's apprentices and let's pray for them all right and as you think about them pray for them encourage them get to know them in the coming over the course of the next year let's pray. Father in heaven thank you so much for these who got you placed a calling on their lives to begin to learn how to serve and to lead God so that they could lead your people to know the gospel to be changed and transformed by it God and to walk forward in faithfulness and maturity in the faith God would you not only work through them God but work in them over the course of this next year that as we prepare them for ministry and leadership and all those things father that you would form their character that they would look more like Christ as a result of this year in residency and apprenticeship than anything else God God would you bless and multiply their time and their energies and their efforts over the course of this next year God we love you and we thank you for who you are and all that you're going to do through United City Church it's in your name we pray amen have a great Sunday if you're a first-time guest we'd love to get to know you at the first guy guest table out in the lobby have a great Sunday man what an amazing time that we had today hey if you know of someone that needs to hear this message we'd love for you to share that on socials we love to actually go and check out our socials so you can stay up to date on everything happening in the life of United City and if you need to take the next step we'd love to help you do that as well. Love you guys so much and we'll see you next week.