The Art of Gratitude | Brandon Nelson | Twin Rivers Church

Well, Thursday was Thanksgiving, and Thanksgiving is great at the Nelson home. It's always good. We have, like, three turkeys going all the time. There's a reason for that. It's not just for me. I do have five kids, and with my family, and my parents, and everybody else. But one of the traditions we started, and we've continued, that my father started I should say, is that on Thanksgiving we do this moment where everyone goes around the room. It doesn't matter how many people were there. It could be 20 people, and everyone has to say what they're thankful for. Now, in my home, in my family, there's some individuals that think they should be preachers. They think they're gifted in the art of gab, or communication, and certain uncles and aunties turn it into an open mic night. And so, when that happens, what ends up leading to what should be a five-minute prayer in my opinion becomes a 15-minute ordeal. Turkey gets cold, rolls get cold, and as a kid I really struggled with it. I was like, can we just skip this and just get to what matters, which is the turkey? And that's just kind of how it works out when you're young. You become a little bit restless, and you focus on the things that have a tendency not to have the same meaning as the things that truly matter. And that's what happens with gratitude, and today I'm going to talk to you on the topic of the art of gratitude. Because if you don't slow down long enough to express gratitude, you'll miss the chance to see that experience, to experience gratitude, but also be changed by gratitude. Here's the truth. We talk about gratitude as if it's a natural occurrence, it's something that we just naturally do. But our hearts don't naturally drift toward gratitude. In fact, we actually drift toward dissatisfaction.

Psychologists have developed a name for this and defined it, and they call it negative bias. It's the brain's built-in tendency to focus on what's wrong more than we focus on what's right. For instance, you don't have to teach a child to complain, my kids complain for fun. You also don't have to tell an adult when something's missing, they figure it out. But here's the reality of this issue. It leads to stress increase, it leads to contentment decrease, a relational weakness, joy levels will drop, and even the anxiety that we're dealing with, it rises. So, this must mean that gratitude that stays in your head does nothing for your heart. And that's where many of us have walked into this room today. We had Thanksgiving, but we don't have much, or in our opinions, that we should be thankful for. The food was good, but our hearts are numb because of some past relational issues that led to a Thanksgiving filled with conflict and everyone walking on eggshells. But life has a way of rushing us past what matters and what we should remember, and even has us normalize what we should honor. And if we don't, as believers, interrupt that pattern, we end up living a life where we never represent or even recognize the blessings in our life, and we don't acknowledge the grace in our lives. And I want you to turn with me to the book of Luke, and I want you to look at the seventh chapter, and we're going to look at a particular encounter between Jesus, a Pharisee, and what the Bible proclaims is a sinful woman. You know, can you imagine being named in the Bible and right next to your name is sinful? It's hard to justify gratitude in that space. But we see a Pharisee in this story in Luke chapter seven, verse 36, with a perfect table, but he has no gratitude. You see a woman with a broken past, but she's overflowing with gratitude. So we have two contrasting stories that collide at a table. You have a woman who lives this life, and you have two lives, and you have two histories.

You have two different reputations, and only one of them responds to Jesus with a heart that is awakened. But here's where it gets uncomfortable for all of us. Most of us assume that we are the woman in this story. We feel her desperation. inspiration, we admire her devotion, we are instantly identifying ourselves with her, but Jesus, maybe he didn't tell the story just for the woman alone. What if I told you he shared this story for the Pharisee in all of us? Because the Pharisee wasn't irreligious, he wasn't immoral, he wasn't hostile, he was respectable, he was disciplined, he was knowledgeable, and he had a good job. And that's where the real tension is for everyone in this room. The Pharisee doesn't reject Jesus, he just doesn't respond to him. Now he lets him in his house, which is a great start, but he doesn't let him in his heart. He honors Jesus with an invitation, but not with the affection. He follows Jesus, he allows Jesus around his table, but never to the center of his worship. So before we point the finger at the Pharisee, because they have a bad rap in the New Testament. Before we point the finger at the Pharisee, I want to challenge you that maybe we are more like Simon the Pharisee than we are like the woman when it comes to gratitude. We've learned how to host him, but we have not learned how to honor him. We know how to behave correctly in certain settings, but we haven't learned how to worship him deeply with our lives. We know how to be familiar with God, but we don't know how to be moved by Jesus. The Pharisee is the person in this room who can sit through a moment of glory, or you can know the scriptures you know about Jesus, but you don't recognize when he's right in front of you. I think that Pharisee lives in all of us. It's the part of us that becomes numb to grace. The part that sees someone else's worship and thinks, oh, that's a little bit too much for me. That's the part that evaluates instead of encountering God.

That's the part that likes to be right more than we want to admit when we are wrong. This story is not about exposing the woman. It's simply about exposing the Pharisee in all of us, because the greatest danger in this room today is not the person with the broken past. It is the person that has a closed heart. So it's not your surroundings, it's not your status, it's the awareness and her ability to recognize grace when it was standing right in front of her. Because gratitude always begins with recognition. You have to see or perceive something to really understand or grasp gratitude. So the first thing I want to challenge you to do, I want you to begin to see it. I want you to see gratitude. I want you to begin to recognize gratitude in your life. Because gratitude begins with sight, not circumstance. Let's look at Luke chapter 7, verse 36. And I'm going to read that. And it says in verse 36, one of the Pharisees asked Jesus to have dinner with him. So Jesus went to his home and sat down to eat. When a certain immoral woman from the city heard he was eating there, she brought a beautiful alabaster jar filled with expensive perfume. Then she knelt behind him at his feet, weeping. Her tears fell on his feet and she wiped them off with her hair. Then she kept kissing his feet and putting perfume on them. Now, I love to worship Jesus, but I cannot tell you this is my pathway to worship. Don't like feet? Kind of stop there. But here's the thing. You have two people standing in this room, but only one of them sees a savior and the other one sees a problem. This is the difference in this moment of the story. It's their eyes.

It's who they see in the room. Most of us assume that gratitude is automatic. It's something that just happens because things happen in our life. And it will kick in at some point when I get older and I'll figure out what gratitude's all about. But Luke chapter 7 exposes that ideology and tells us. that gratitude is not natural. It's something that has to be formed. It's when you start seeing things that other people are missing. Because Simon, he's really good at seeing things like most adults. He can see this woman's past. But Jesus can see her repentance. He can see her mistakes. He can see her uncleanliness. But Jesus, in this moment, he sees her heart. There was an experiment that took place called the Invisible Gorilla Experiment. And two researchers created this so that they could find out and assess the way people perceive things around them. So they had somebody passing basketballs back and forth on the screen. And then out of nowhere on the screen, a gentleman in a gorilla suit walked on the stage and beat his chest and then walked right off. And the study found that more than 50% of the individuals did not see the gorilla. That's crazy.

If a gorilla walked up here right now, started beating his chest, I guarantee everyone here would see. Now, here's what's interesting. The people that did that experiment, their eyes were wide open. Because when they asked them, they could see the basketball was being passed. But here's the thing. Your eyes can be open, and you can still miss the most important thing in your life. You know, I've learned that gratitude is not a feeling. It's not just a feeling. Because gratitude has a lens. Because studies show that people who do not regularly notice goodness actually lose the neurological capacity to perceive it. It means that if you're bitter, it's probably because you stopped seeing the good around you. Some of y'all don't like that one. And there was another study that showed that chronic complaining rewires the brain toward threat detection, not to gift recognition. This is one of the reasons why I am not interested in being around people that wanna complain all day. Because misery likes company. And what ends up happening is now you're gonna begin to find the faults in everything instead of seeing the favor of God in everything.

Okay. I think it's the case where some of us are not just missing gratitude, you probably stopped seeing the grace of God in your life. And when you can't see the grace of God, your soul stops expecting God to move in your life. Here's the really cool thing about grace and gratitude is that when scripture talks about grace, it uses the word karis. Saw that R roll? That's the degree right there coming into play. And that word simply means favor, kindness to a gift that you could not earn yourself. But then the Bible talks about thanksgiving. And with thanksgiving, it uses the word eukarystia. Yeah, that was good. And here's what's beautiful about that word, tucked right into the middle of it is the word karis, which suggests to us is that you can't experience or even show gratitude unless you see grace, believe grace and can express it back to God. Because great gratitude is not something we can manufacture. It's something awakened when we see the grace of God clearly in our lives. Because grace is the root and gratitude is the fruit. This is why Jesus in the same thing starts a parable in this passage of Luke chapter seven, about the two debtors and he's not teaching on economics. He is confronting spiritual blindness. So how do we change our perception

so that we remove ourselves from the table and begin to sit at Jesus's feet? One, you have to see what God has done, not just what life has been. If you can't find gratitude, go back and look at his grace in your life. Because gratitude grows where grace is seen. Here's what my grandma would do. My grandma suffered from Parkinson's. Parkinson's and and she was She was a passionate lady on fire for Jesus And I remember the moments where she had her Walker and when at any time there would be like a testimony service Which is a real old-school traditional thing. She would get up. She would stand on her feet And everybody would be quiet because I know grandma's about to say something she said when I think of the goodness of Jesus and All he has done for me My soul cries hallelujah Thank God for saving me now listen that don't make no sense y'all Here's why she had Parkinson's she had dealt with bad arthritis She had to get cortisone shots in her back frequently and it came to the point But even in that moment she found the grace of God in her story So she could show thankfulness in the middle of what she was going through So We got to see through the right eyes Because if we're not careful we can sit at a table with Jesus and still miss him Or we can stand behind him like this woman and weep and worship him So before gratitude ever becomes a confession a practice or even an expression It starts with our perception and how you see grace determines how you believe Which leads me to my second point, which is that you need to believe it

You need to believe it Luke 7 39 through 43. It's the story the parable that I just mentioned about the two deputies and one owes ten times more than the other and yet The Bible says that both are forgiven And the person who believes they been forgiven the Bible says loves much This is where the gratitude gets a little bit difficult for us Because we have to move from perceiving it to actually believe in what we see This woman doesn't perceive grace she believes it belongs to her and that is crucial That is crucial for us as believers Simon's problem wasn't that he didn't know who Jesus was It's that he didn't know who he was He believed he didn't need much forgiveness so he didn't need the grace and If you don't think you need grace, you'll never be able to show gratitude But here's the thing this woman came to the house Believing in the grace that she had heard preached that she can in fact experience encounter and walk in that grace Her tears weren't desperation her tears were devotion And Jesus exposes What I would say is a psychological problem that we have in our society Because shame itself disrupts the ability for us to internalize positive experiences This woman did not allow her past to define how she was gonna praise God in the moment People who believe they're too far gone struggle to accept gifts Affirmation or even forgiveness even if it's from God See Simon thought she was the problem But the truth was Simon's pride was the barrier and her mute humility was the doorway Jesus Isn't comparing the Pharisee and this woman

To expose anyone or to give a negative connotation to one or the other But he is revealing the heart of gratitude Let me help you relationally If you don't believe grace, it's for you. You'll never overflow with grace in your life There is no way She had nothing to offer Except this alabaster jar her tears and Her hair that's all she had But she gave Jesus her affection and Jesus said it was enough Because gratitude is not about performance. It's about belief And belief is what moves you from God can forgive people to God can forgive me. Because a lot of us think we're out of the picture simply because of what we have done. But if I were to remind you of anything today, is that the grace of God stretches beyond the craziest, the worst thing you can even imagine or fathom that you think you've done. It has not removed you from the opportunity to encounter the grace of God in your life. And your capacity for gratitude is directly tied to your belief in grace. Because gratitude will grow when you believe his word more than you believe your wounds. And a lot of us need to move from our wounds to his word, to his promises, to his truth, and begin to say yes and amen. Yes, I am a child of God. Yes, I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Yes, I'm made in the image of God. Yes, I am his workmanship. I'm created by God. I'm going to stand in confidence on who God created me to be. You know, I have five and my youngest, Kyra, runs our house. I don't know if it's because she's the last one. It's kind of like, all right, you go ahead. You handle things, but she brought me a cookie. My wife makes these lemon cookies that are closest thing to Jesus, I think. And she brought me this cookie, but interestingly enough, this cookie was half-eaten. Now, I don't know about you, but if one of y'all came to me and you had a half-eaten cookie and you said, hey, Pastor B, this is for you, I'm going to judge you. And guess what? We can judge in the body of Christ, okay? But she came to me with this cookie the other day, and what really captivated me were her eyes and the smile she had on her face when she brought me this cookie that's been everywhere but where it needs to be. Literally, and I'm seeing this face, and she brings it to me like she had gold in her hand. She's bringing me this gift that I didn't know I deserved. But it's something about the heart behind what she gave me that not only made me smile,

but made me receptive to what she had to offer. I didn't need it to be perfect. I didn't need it to be altogether. I didn't need it to be perfectly clean. I didn't need, I was going to take it no matter what because I saw the joy and the heart that was attached to her bringing me that gift. That is what I believe each, God is calling each and every one of us to because the Father's love will receive all that you have to offer because he will take everything you bring to him. He can handle it. He loves it. Here's the problem. I've realized that kids don't struggle to believe their love is accepted, but adults do. We flip it. We struggle to believe that anything from we give God is good enough. We believe our past disqualifies us or our gift is too small or our heart is too messy or our worship is too weak. The woman in Luke chapter seven brought what she had. That was the best of what she had. Tears, perfume, and a broken story. And she believed that God would take her story and redeem every aspect of her story. That is the gospel, y'all, that God can take what is broken

and he can put it together into something better than it's ever been. Yes. Because that's when gratitude becomes powerful, when grace becomes personal, when you finally believe he didn't just forgive sin, he forgave my sin. Good. When you see grace and believe grace, the last thing you would have to do is express it. You have to express grace. In Luke chapter seven, 44 to 50, they go through. with this journey of revealing all that she does. And they talks about it and Jesus reveals in this passage two contrasting views. But he also reveals that gratitude is never invisible. And the woman expresses her gratitude with an expression that was outward. But Simon expresses with silence, suspicion, and distance. And this is where we enter into a crossroad. Because gratitude that is unexpressed is gratitude that eventually dies. A Harvard medical study stated that spoken gratitude lowers the stress levels by 23%. And when you express gratitude publicly, it has a compounding effect, strengthening not only the one who hears it, but it also strengthens those around you and the one who gives it.

And what does that mean for the believers? That when you come to church on Sunday, I want to encourage you today that you may be having a bad day, but when you sing a song and you still lift your hand in spite of what you are going through, there could be a person next to you that needs to know, I know you're going through some difficult stuff, but I still lift my hands because I recognize that even if I'm going through difficulty, God is still good. That's where we're at, y'all. Gratitude expressed outwardly not only impacts you, but it impacts the people around you. The one thing that I'm afraid of is silence. When I've experienced the goodness of God, silence to me leads to suffocating the idea of gratitude, whereas expressing it multiplies it. This woman in Luke chapter seven didn't sit quietly in the corner, contemplating and appreciating Jesus from a distance. She expressed her love for Jesus through tears, through a touch, through the perfume she poured on his feet. Her gratitude got out. And when gratitude gets out, healing gets in. And that's what I need some of y'all to be encouraged with today, is that when you decide to express your worship, not just consider your worship,

God begins to restore areas of your life that you didn't know you even had problems in. And that's why gratitude has to become an action, because Jesus doesn't praise her emotions. Listen, I'm not looking for emotionalism. That's not what I'm leaning you towards, but I am moving you towards expression, because I know and you know that emotions are unpredictable, but expressions are intentional. And her courage to walk in that room where people were whispering and talking negatively about her and still worship God is an intentional expression of the grace of God that was in the room. And gratitude must be spoken. Because at the end of the story, Jesus tells her to go in peace. Your sins are forgiven. And what Jesus is saying is, I honor what you have expressed. The Pharisee never said another word to Jesus. And this means that gratitude grows when you give it a voice. If the enemy cannot stop salvation, he will try to silence your gratitude. Because silent gratitude eventually leads to numb faith. There's a story of Amy Carmichael, who was a missionary in South India. Her and her team served that area for many years. She dedicated her life to the mission. And as she walked around,

she would notice in certain temples, in a certain tradition would have these little girls that would stay and live at these temples. Little did she knows that these individuals were being extorted and abused, physically, verbally, spiritually. And as she perceived this, she felt this something in her heart shifted. And there was one particular girl named Prina who served in one of the temples, a very, very special one. young girl. She tried to escape one day, and as she escaped, she ran to the only place she thought would be available to bring safety, and that was her home. But little did she know that her mother, out of fear and financial pressure, would bring her right back to the temple. And as a result of that, they decided to brand her hands with a hot iron to mark her as property of the temple. Now another opportunity came for her to escape, because she had heard stories of some lady, some Christian lady that was going around and snatching up kids. Now they tried to make it a negative story, but she said, this person could be no worse than what I'm encountering and experiencing here. So what she did, that she escaped once again, but this time she ran into Amy Carmichael. And when she ran into Amy Carmichael, Amy wrote a letter, and this is what she stated. The little thing walked straight into our hearts, and we felt we would risk anything to keep her. A lot of the temple women in the townspeople came around and threatened to kill and to destroy their property. And someone asked Prerna out loud, do you want to go back with them? And this tiny little girl with scars on her hand said, I won't. Amy saw her resolve, and it shifted the rest of her ministry and her missionary journey.

And she would grow up in Amy's care, and this is what Prerna would say. She said, she sat me on her lap and kissed me. And I thought, my mother used to do the same thing. Who is this person who kisses me like my mother? From that day, she became my mother in body and soul. And it was this little Prerna, rescued, healed, grateful, who no longer called her Amy, but called her Amma. And Amma meant mother. Now the gratitude didn't erase Prerna's past, but it did open the door to healing. It helped her trust again. It helped her to speak again. It helped her to live again, because sometimes the smallest expression of gratitude becomes the doorway to our restoration.