Taking the High Road | Kyle Idleman

How's it going, guys? Thank you so much for joining us today on the Pando app. My name's Josh Head. I work here at our Blankenbaker campus, and we are just so ecstatic that you're joining us for worship today. We want to know each of you a little bit better. We want to hear from you. We want to connect with you. So if you want to share your story, the ways God has been moving in your life, or any prayer requests that you might have in this moment, please write us at the address on the screen or down in the description below. We also want you to join our community that's grown to over 32,000 subscribers. We want you to be a part of that. So if you haven't subscribed yet, please click below, subscribe to the Southeast channel on the Pando app. Today, we're continuing in our Genesis sermon series called Journey of Faith. And we're gonna be walking through Genesis 13 and 14 as we hear a little bit about this dynamic between Abram and Lot, and the way that Abram continues to choose to follow the Lord and take the high road. So we can't wait to jump in to hear what Kyle has to say and jump into worship. So let's jump in now.

Thanks guys. Let's go, come on. ♪ And the praise in the highest He is worthy, you see ♪ ♪ He is worthy of all of the praise, you see ♪ ♪ Worship with your hands held high ♪ ♪ I'll raise you anywhere, praise ♪ ♪ Give Him praise, give Him praise in the highest praise ♪ ♪ Give Him praise, give Him praise in the highest He is worthy, you see ♪ ♪ He is worthy of all of the praise, give Him praise ♪ ♪ Give Him praise, give Him praise in the highest praise ♪ ♪ Give Him praise, give Him praise in the highest He is worthy, you see ♪ ♪ He is worthy of all of the praise, you see, yes ♪ ♪ Yes ♪ ♪ Faithful all my life, blessings day and night ♪ ♪ Countless reasons why, I'll praise you anywhere ♪ ♪ Every promise, goodness, every step, each and every breath ♪ ♪ I'll praise you anywhere, faithful all my life, blessings day and night ♪ ♪ Countless reasons why, I'll praise you anywhere ♪ ♪ Every promise, goodness, every step, each and every breath ♪ ♪ I'll praise you anywhere, praise Him in the highest praise ♪ ♪ Give Him praise, give Him praise in the highest praise ♪ ♪ Give Him praise, give Him praise in the highest He is worthy, you see ♪ ♪ He is worthy of all of the praise, praise, praise ♪ ♪ In the highest praise, praise, praise, praise ♪ ♪ In the highest He is worthy, you see ♪ ♪ He is worthy of all of the praise ♪ ♪ Yes, you're worthy, Lord ♪ ♪ He is worthy, you see ♪ ♪ He is worthy of all of the praise ♪ ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ The Lord is my shepherd, and He is everything I need ♪ ♪ So I will not worry, no, I will not fear the enemy ♪ ♪ He said that He loves me, He said that He's with me even though ♪ ♪ I walk through the valley of shadow and death and still I know ♪ ♪ He has good plans, He has good plans for me and for you ♪ ♪ So I will take all the presents of God with me ♪ ♪ He has good plans, He has good plans for me ♪ ♪ If I know my Father, I know my Father has good plans ♪ ♪ He has good plans, yes He does, I will trust Him ♪ ♪ The Lord is my Savior, so why should I doubt my victory? ♪ ♪ Why would I question the rod and the staff that comforts me? ♪ ♪ Why it's the waters, why it's the storm and sun? What could be better? ♪ ♪ Than walking with Him when I believe He has good plans, He has good plans for me ♪ ♪ He has good plans, He has good plans for me ♪ ♪ So I will take all the deserts and gardens, He has good plans, He has good plans for me ♪ ♪ He has good plans, He has good plans for me ♪ ♪ I know my Father, I know my Father has good plans, He has good plans for me ♪ ♪ He has good plans, He has good plans for me ♪ ♪ So I will take all the deserts and gardens, He has good plans, He has good plans for me ♪ ♪ He has good plans, He has good plans for me ♪ ♪ If I know my Father, I know my Father has good plans ♪ ♪ Oh, my Father has good plans for me ♪ ♪ He has good plans, He has good plans for me ♪ Come on, the Scripture says, as goodness and mercy follows after us, you sing. Surely, Your goodness and mercy will follow after me, so fear well, not find me, cause I'll be dwelling in the house of God. Surely, Your goodness and mercy will follow after me, so fear well, not find me,

cause I'll be dwelling in the house of God. Surely, Your goodness and mercy will follow after me, so fear well, not find me, cause I'll be dwelling in the house of God. Surely, Your goodness and mercy will follow after me, so fear well, not find me, cause I'll be dwelling in the house of God. He has good plans, He has good plans for me. So I will take my deserts and gardens. He has good plans, He has good plans for me. I know my Father has good plans, good plans. ♪ You're a good, good God ♪ ♪ If I know my Father, I know my Father ♪ ♪ I'm a good friend to me ♪ ♪ Oh, you're a good, good God ♪ ♪ And a good, good friend to me ♪ ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh oh oh oh-oh-oh ♪ ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh oh oh oh oh-oh-oh-oh ♪ ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh oh oh oh oh-oh-oh oh oh oh oh-oh-oh ♪ ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh oh oh oh oh-oh-oh oh oh-oh-oh ♪ ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh oh oh oh oh-oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh oh-oh-oh ♪ ♪ I'll breathe the chasm that lay between us ♪ ♪ I'll hide the mountain I could not climb ♪ ♪ In desperation I turned to heaven ♪ ♪ And spoke your name into the night ♪ ♪ Then through the darkness your loving kindness ♪ ♪ Tore through the shadows of my soul ♪ ♪ The work is finished, the end is rented ♪ ♪ Jesus Christ, my living hope ♪ ♪ Who could imagine so great a mercy ♪

♪ What heart could fathom such boundless grace ♪ ♪ The God of ages set down for us to see ♪ ♪ From glory to wear my sin and bear my shame ♪ ♪ The cross I've spoken, I am forgiven ♪ ♪ The King of kings calls me his own ♪ ♪ You live for Savior, I'm yours forever ♪ ♪ Jesus Christ, my living hope ♪ ♪ Hallelujah, praise the one who set me free ♪ ♪ Hallelujah, death has lost its grip on me ♪ ♪ You have broken every chain, there's salvation in your name ♪ ♪ There's salvation in your name, Jesus Christ, my living hope ♪ ♪ Then came the morning that sealed the promise ♪ ♪ You're buried in glory, you're buried in glory ♪ ♪ The Lord was your witness, the glory of your name ♪ ♪ He heard your prayers, the praise of your name ♪ ♪ Then came the morning that sealed the promise ♪ ♪ Your very body began to break ♪ ♪ Out of the silence, the glory of your name ♪ ♪ Declare the grave has no claim on me ♪ ♪ For Jesus yours is the victory, hallelujah ♪ ♪ Hallelujah, praise the one who saved me ♪ ♪ Hallelujah, death has lost its grip on me ♪ ♪ You have broken every chain, there's salvation in your name ♪ ♪ Jesus Christ, my living hope, hallelujah ♪ ♪ Hallelujah, praise the one who set me free ♪ ♪ Hallelujah, death has lost its grip on me ♪ ♪ You have broken every chain ♪ ♪ Your salvation in your name ♪ ♪ Jesus Christ, my living hope ♪ ♪ Jesus Christ, my living hope ♪

♪ Oh, my living hope ♪ ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ And Jesus we declare that you are our living hope, that we have hope because of you, and you are light in the darkness. God, we thank you for the sacrifice that you gave for us. We thank you for your goodness and your mercy and that you will never stop chasing after us. We love you. Thank you for the cross. It's in Jesus' name, amen. Y'all can grab a seat. Y'all can grab a seat. ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ Yeah. Hey, we as a church have drawn a line in the sand. We are committed to these next generations. It's been a heartbeat of who we are for a long time, but we have doubled down on it even in the last few years. Going through MOVE, we've talked about two years of sacrificial generosity to reach the next two generations. Like we are recognizing that part of God's calling for us as a church is to make sure the baton of faith gets passed on to the next generation. One of the ways that we do that, significantly so,

is through our residency program that we call RISE. Behind me are 20 men and women who have committed a year of their lives to be a part of our residency program where they're being equipped, they're being sent out to show the love of Jesus in churches and cities and communities around the world. And it's an 11-month program, intensive program, that's focused on spiritual formation, hands-on ministry. I wanna bring it to your attention this morning for two reasons. One, if you're interested in ministry, if you've sensed a calling for ministry, but you're not sure what your next step is, our residency program might be a great next step for you. The second reason I bring it to your attention is because as our residency program grows, what we really need your help with are some host homes. Some people in our church who will say, you know what, we'll host a resident for the year that they're here, we'll show them the love and the hospitality of Jesus. So, this morning, if you're interested in either learning a little bit more about our residency program for you, because you're interested in ministry, or if you're interested in the potential of becoming a host home, if you'll text the word RISE to 733-733, if you'll text RISE to 733-733, you're not signing up, you're not committed, there won't be a resident that shows up at your house this afternoon with a suitcase and a sleeping bag.

Like, that's not it, it's just to take the next step. Would love to encourage you to do that. So, would you thank our residents just for their commitment? Thank you all. We are continuing in our series through Genesis. We're gonna go through two chapters today, Genesis 13 and 14, and here's where I wanna start off. I wanna start off by identifying a moment that most of us will recognize, some of us more than others, or at least more often than others. It's that moment when you're driving in the car and you're minding your own business. Just enjoying an afternoon drive, and somebody cuts you off, like aggressively cuts you off. They don't wave, they don't give you a head nod, they don't use a blinker, they don't acknowledge your existence as a human being on planet Earth, really, in any way. And in that moment, if you're like me, there's just something that rises up in you, it's instinctive, you hit the horn, you say the thing, you give the look. It doesn't matter. Your worship playlist is still going off in the background. You've got Brandon Lake serenading you about the goodness of God while you're laying on the horn, and you're not even sure how it happened. Or you could take the high road. The high road is where you let it go. You say a prayer for them.

God bless this person, I'm sure. I'm sure they're on their way to donate a kidney to an orphan. I'm sure. There's an explanation for why they did what they just did. I believe that in my heart to be true. That's the high road. The low road is you ride their bumper, you lay on the horn, you give them a wave, but not with the whole hand. Like in that moment, you have to decide, who am I? Low road or high road? When somebody cuts you off? Maybe when you read the comment, when you find out what they said about you or what that person said they said about you. When you see a post about a dinner party that you weren't invited to, but most of your friends were there. When your mother-in-law makes a passive-aggressive comment about your parenting, man, that low road feels pretty good. Seems pretty inviting. And life is full of these moments where there's conflict and disagreement. There's offense. There's tension. And when we take the low road, here's what happens. Our pride, before we even mean for it to happen, has grabbed a hold of the steering wheel. And so most of us, when that happens, like we've got these creative ways to feel better about taking the low road, we have things we say to ourselves. Well, I'm just standing up for me. I'm just setting boundaries. I'm not letting people walk all over me. And some of that stuff sounds pretty legitimate, and there's a place for it. But I think a lot of the times, those phrases are just like spiritual wrapping paper that

we put around our pride and our anger. And so here's what I want you to hear today, that how you handle conflict and offense, how you handle woundedness, somebody does something to you that you didn't deserve, this is the clearest indicator of your spiritual maturity, I believe. It's not what you say you believe. It's not what you sing about what you believe. It is what you do when somebody hurts you. This is a test of spiritual maturity. It is an opportunity for you to show Jesus in a clear way, like suffering, and then when somebody wounds you in some way, these are the moments you know. So in Genesis 13, Abraham has to decide what road he's going to take. Last week, we see Abraham saying yes to God when God calls him. Even though Abraham doesn't know where he's going, he says yes, I'm going to obey. And God's been blessing him, by the way. Like Abraham, when we catch up to him here in chapter 13, things are going pretty well. He's become wealthy, we read. Wealthy in livestock and silver and gold. And his nephew, Lot, has been tagging along. So when Abraham left, Lot went with him. Abraham's family went, Lot's family went. And because Abraham's doing well, Lot's been doing well, and verse 7, or verse 5 rather, says Lot's also become wealthy, but here's the problem. It's one of those problems that sound nice. It's when you have so much stuff that it creates conflict. They have so much stuff that the land can't support both of them. Verse 7 says their herdsmen are fighting with each other, there's tension in the family, there's friction, there's conflict between Abraham and his nephew, Lot, between their families and their workers, but here's what I want you to notice as we dig into this. That conflict didn't come from disappointment, it came from blessing. We tend to think that our faith is going to be tested through hardship and difficulties,

and it is, but we're often not prepared or perhaps surprised when success and prosperity brings a whole different set of testing. And oftentimes, it's in prosperity and success that relational conflict and challenges can really take place. Some of the hardest relational conflicts you'll have to navigate won't come from something going wrong, but from something going right. It's a promotion that makes a friend jealous. It's a growing business that creates tension in a partnership. It's a family that's growing, and that's good. That's a blessing, but suddenly the way we do holidays isn't agreed upon anymore. It's a financial windfall that just quietly ends a friendship or divides a sibling relationship. And so, Abram and Lot are experiencing conflict in that context in Genesis 13. And Abram's going to show us what it looks like to take a high road when you experience this kind of tension in your relationships. If you're taking notes or filling in blanks, here's the first thing I want you to notice. Taking the high road means choosing unity over winning. Maybe another way to say that is choosing a relationship over being right. Choosing a relationship over my rights. So you've got this scene where two men stand in a field, both of them wealthy, successful. Both of them watching their people fight over the same resources. Both of them quietly wanting to have the best for themselves. And the tension. It's been building maybe for months. Somebody's got to do something. You can't just keep going this way. Genesis 13, verse 8 and 9, here's what Abraham does. It says, Abraham said to his nephew Lot, he's going to be very direct here. He's going to name it. He's going to name the tension.

Let's not have any quarreling. There's been this conflict. There's been this fighting, this tension. Let's not have any quarreling between you and me, between your herders and mine. Why? Because we've got a relationship, Lot. Because we're close relatives. And then Abraham says, is not the whole land before you? Look out here. You can see the land. Let's part company. If you go to the left, I'll go to the right. If you go to the right, I'll go to the left. Now look, Abraham was the uncle. Lot's the nephew. In the ancient world, it matters a lot, right? Like Abraham was older. He was the one God called. He was the one who had been promised. This is easy. By any cultural standard, by any family pecking order, any social norm, it's obvious here who has the rights. And it's Abraham. Abraham deserved it. Abraham's entitled to it. Nobody would have questioned it for a second. But instead of asking, what about my rights? Abraham asks, what about our relationship? Instead of asking, what about my rights?

He asks, what about our relationship? And so he says to Lot, you pick. You pick. And I'm going to look here at what Abraham does and how he handles it. But before we jump into that, I just want to identify what he doesn't do, OK? Here's what he doesn't do. Because when we have conflict, there's at least three low roads that a lot of us are drawn to that I want to identify that Abraham doesn't take. First is the low road of avoidance. This is where you don't address it, where you stuff it, where you smile and you say, it's fine. Are you sure everything's OK? Everything's fine. You sure things are good with us? Hey, I'm good. It's this avoidance. You keep showing up to Sunday dinner. You keep coming into the office. You keep going to the family gatherings. You act like everything's fine. But it's not fine. And you've got a mental list of grievances. And it's slowly poisoning the relationship from the inside out. Now, here's where you have to watch out. You think by avoiding it, you're taking the high road.

You think by staying away from it that you're the mature one. Now, the Bible does say in Proverbs, it's to your glory to overlook an offense. But you're not overlooking it. You're just not bringing it up. And so avoidance might feel like maturity. But it's cowardice dressed up as maturity. And it's slowly destroying the relationship. The second low road is passive aggressiveness, passive aggression. I think this is a favorite among a lot of Christians, because it lets us feel like we're still nice and kind. We feel righteous, because we're not getting our hands dirty. Like, hey, I'm not a yeller. I don't yell. Yeah, but you're quiet in a really loud way. That's passive aggressiveness. Like, we don't confront, but we just have a little bit of a tone. And we hope people pick up on it. Like, we don't say what's actually wrong. But we post a Bible verse about Judas. And then we let the Holy Spirit work it out. Like, that's our approach to conflict. I'm not going to say anything to that person. But I'll post a verse for thousands of people to see. And I'll distrust the Holy Spirit. I'll give you an example of this from my own life this week. Some of you will remember last month me telling you a story about wanting a pair of Jordan 4s since I was in middle school

and finally found a pair online. It was a really good deal, too good of a deal. I thought I was ordering Jordan 4 size 12 and men's. But they came in the mail. And they were children's size. And that's why they were such a good deal. Well, not long after that, I really did get a pair of adult size Jordan 4s. I was pretty excited about that. I put them on. I'd been wearing them to the office and stuff. But I put them on Thursday morning. And I was getting ready to leave the house. And as I was in the kitchen, my wife looked down at my shoes. And she knew we had church Thursday night. And she said, are you preaching in those? What I heard was, you're not preaching in those, are you? And so I felt a little bit defensive. I'm like, well, I was planning to. She kind of laughed. And she said, Kyle, you're a 50-year-old grandfather. Those shoes make you look like you're trying too hard. And suddenly, I found myself in some conflict that I wasn't expecting. I remained calm, determined to take the high road, didn't say a word. I just smiled as I walked out of the room. But I wasn't very many steps out of the room where I thought to myself, if I'm 50-year-old grandpa, then maybe don't tell me what kind of shoes I'm allowed to wear. How about that?"

I just said it to myself. I didn't say that. I didn't say that out loud. Instead, I decided to continue the conflict by getting some evidence. And so, I asked Google, Google, is it fine for a middle-aged man to wear Jordan 4s? And here's the response. Jordan 4s are highly popular among middle-aged men. Often, listen, often considered a staple in a grown man's sneaker wardrobe. And then it ends with a stylish, nostalgic choice for men over 30 or 40. Took a screenshot, texted it to my wife, feeling good, feeling real good, actually. No words, just the screenshot. Sometimes the evidence speaks for itself. And I just sat back and waited for her reply, saying, hey, you're right. Like, you won. You're the winner. I was expecting that. Instead, she texted back and said, it doesn't say for men over 50. And technically, if you're over 50, you're over 30 and over 40. So, I started to decide to come back, but then deleted it. You'll notice what shoes I'm not wearing to preach in. These are not Jordan 4s. So, here's the thing. A passive-aggressive screenshot is not the way to deal with offense. It's not the way to deal with conflict. But there's something about that approach that draws us. Like, okay, I'm going to continue this, but I'm going to do it in a way that, you know, it's like going to war, but with good manners. You're still going to war. Third low road is sowing seeds of discord. This is where you don't confront the person, and you don't go quiet. You just start finding people that'll be on your side. You start validating your position in the conflict by going around and talking to other people. And they don't know the other person's perspective or position, but they get to hear yours. And based on what you said, then, boy, it sure seems that you're right in that situation. And Proverbs 6 lists seven things God hates. If there's a list of things in Scripture that might get your attention, seven things that God hates should probably be that list. Number seven on the list of things that turn God's stomach is, quote, the person who sows discord among friends. The person who sows seeds of discord among brothers. Now, let me just try to describe this person a little bit more, because I don't think anyone thinks of themselves this way. I don't know anybody who says, you know what I'm going to do today. I'm going to, well, I'm going to sow some seeds of discord over here, and then I'm going to go to work, and I'm going to sow some seeds of discord there. And I've got this friendship. I'm going to plant a few seeds of discord in that friendship. Like, no one sets out with that intention. But with their words, they're taking seeds, and they're throwing

into the soil. And then over time, this harvest starts to grow. Every conversation that starts with, hey, I probably shouldn't say this. But every time you repeat something you have heard about someone, every time you say, well, I don't really know the whole story, but somebody told me that, every time you recruit someone over to your frustration, that every time you fill in a gap with something critical or negative, assuming the worst, you're sowing a seed of discord. And here's what you just need to know. God hates that harvest. God hates that harvest. And so, three low roads, avoidance, passive aggression, sowing discord. Abraham doesn't do any of those. Instead, what we see Abraham doing is he leans into the tension, and he names it. He says, let's not have any quarreling between you and me, for we are close relatives. So, he doesn't let it fester for six months, and then show up, you know, at Thanksgiving, where it spills out over the mashed potatoes. Instead, he says it. He says, look, there's this tension, and let's not keep on this path. And he steps into the conflict, because for Abraham, the relationship mattered more than the real estate. Here's why I put this in your notes. Taking the high road is not a sign of weakness. It's a sign of maturity. We have been told that strength means getting your way, that winning means exercising your rights. That's how you know you won, is that you got your way, that you exercise your rights. But the high road sometimes, oftentimes, is I'd rather keep my relationship. than keep my rights? Think about this in a marriage. What if just one of you said, I'd rather be close than be correct? I'd rather just stay close than be correct. Think about a friendship that's been strained or a coworker you've stopped talking to. What if instead of building your case, you said, I'm gonna build a bridge? What if that became where you spent your energy? What's that look like? Well, maybe it looks like deleting a text that you typed, but you don't send it instead, you sit down for a real conversation.

Maybe it means showing up for somebody's birthday party when they didn't show up for yours. Maybe it means saying sorry without justifying yourself. Maybe it means not bringing up that thing from 2019 when you're talking about that thing from yesterday. And Abraham gave up the best choice. And listen, it's not because he was weak. It's not because he was naive. It's not because he was a pushover. It's because he understood what a lot of us are still learning. Sometimes you can be right or you can be in relationship. And so just to be clear, taking the high road is not weakness. It's not cowardice. It is the hardest, one of the hardest, most spiritually mature, most Christ-like things a person can do. Second thing Abraham shows us about taking the high road, taking the high road means trusting God to choose what's best. Trusting God to choose what's best. Abraham takes the high road, but it sure looks like Lot is the one walking away with the better deal. Verse 10 and 11 of chapter 13. Lot looked around and saw that the whole plain of the Jordan towards Zor was well-watered like the garden of Eden, like land of Egypt.

So Lot chose for himself the whole plain of Jordan. And he looks out and he saw and he chose and he surveys his options and he evaluates landscape. And this is not a hard decision on paper. And he's looking out for himself. And he says, see this over here? You mean this land over here that looks like paradise? Yeah, I think, I think I'll go with that. And he chooses that for himself. But then there's this little bomb that gets dropped in verse 12. And Lot lived among the cities of the plain. And he pitched his tents near Sodom. And now the people of Sodom were wicked and they were sinning greatly against the Lord. He didn't seem to see that. The best looking land turns out was right next to the worst possible neighborhood. And here's what I want you to notice when I put it in your notes is what looks like the better option isn't always the better outcome. What looks like the better option isn't always the better outcome. Sometimes the hardest part of taking the high road isn't the moment you take it. It's the next morning where it feels like the other person got what should have been your blessing. Like they're the ones who got the better deal. And my guess is every conflict you've been in

where you've taken the high road, there's been this moment where you regretted it, where you felt like a bit of a pushover, where you took the high road and you spoke some positive words and you were gracious, but the next day you're in the shower and you're thinking about what you wish you would have said. You took the high road, you were patient when you could have been demanding, you were generous when you could have been entitled, you were encouraging when you had every right to be critical and the other person didn't even seem to notice. The other person, they didn't say thank you, they didn't even seem to recognize it. Like you thought, I'm gonna take the high road, I'm gonna go over and above here and they're gonna be so appreciative and so grateful, I'm gonna be glad I did it and it just never happened. Look what God does, verse 14. The Lord said to Abram after Lot had parted from him, Abram, look around from where you are. Look to the north and the south, to the east and the west. All the land that you see, I will give to you and your offspring forever. Abram, 360, just look around. All of it, all of it will be to you and your offspring. And he invites Abraham to look through a lens of faith, not what's true or what feels true in the moment, but what will be true. And so what I want you to catch is the timing of this.

It says, the Lord said to Abraham after Lot parted from him. It's after. See, here's what I wish God would do. I wish God would in these moments say, hey, Abram, come here. Go ahead and put this proposition in front of Lot. I just want you to know that whatever he chooses, I'm gonna take care of you. I'm gonna bless you. Whatever he chooses, it's all gonna be yours. I just want you to know that ahead of time. But he doesn't do it ahead of time. He does it after. So once again, what do we find with Abraham? It's a journey of faith where Abraham has to take this step on the high road, trusting that God's gonna work out details in ways that he can't predict or he doesn't see in the moment. And so maybe you're in that season right now where you took a high road in a conflict and you gave up some ground and you didn't fight back and right now it feels a little bit like you got the raw deal. Let me just encourage you. You don't know the end of the story and you don't know the end of their story and you don't know the end of your story. You keep being faithful to what God calls you to do. Verse 18, so Abraham went to live

near the great trees of Mamre at Hebron where he pitched his tents and there he built an altar to the Lord. Now listen, don't skip this. It says he built an altar to the Lord. This is just a really easily missed phrase that is perhaps the most significant part of this whole story. After Abraham is put in this position and Lot chooses what's best, what does Abraham do? Does he go over and start feeling sorry for himself? No, he goes over and he builds an altar of gratitude. He goes over and he stacks stones and he worships God. He builds an altar and what you find in this story is he's constantly doing this. Four altars in two chapters. He's constantly building altars. Now you look at Lot's story and how many altars does he build? Zero. No altars, Lot never builds an altar. He sets up tents, he moves his family, he makes deals, he stacks gold and silver but he never worships, he never builds an altar. An altar in the ancient world was a declaration. It is Abraham stacking stones and with every stone he stacks, he's saying something. He's saying, God, you are the source, you are the owner. I trust you with the outcome. I'm all in with you.

And so here's what I want you to catch. Lot builds tents, Abraham builds altars. Tents mean this is where I'm living and this is what I'm doing. Altars mean this is who I'm trusting. Are you building tents or are you building an altar? And some of you need to stop building your case against the person who hurt you and you need to start building an altar instead. You need to stop replaying the offense and you need to start replaying the faithfulness of God. You need to stop trying to control the outcome and start trusting the one who already knows it. You need to stop fighting for your rights and start surrendering to the one who makes all things right. You stop stacking evidence and you start stacking stones. Stop building tents, start building altars. Third thing we see about Abraham, he takes the high road and the high road means, oh, this is hard. Means caring for people who didn't choose you. Caring for people who don't seem to care that much about you. Fast forward, Genesis 14, story takes a turn. War breaks out in the region. There's chaos and in the chaos of that war, the city of Sodom gets raided. And Lot, who looked around and saw all the green grass, who chose a better land, who walked away from Abram,

now finds himself living, not in paradise, in the middle of a war zone and he's taken captive. Word gets back to Abram, what do you do? If you're Abram, what do you do? Because there's part of me that would say, oh, I wish you well, wish you well with that, Lot. There's part of me that would say, oh, well, that's what you get. How do you like that green grass now, Lot? And our culture would back that up. We live in a world that says, cut toxic people out of your life. Protect your peace, you don't owe anybody anything. Block, delete, move on. And sometimes there may be an appropriate step there that needs to be taken, but I think most of the time, we're just using some language of self-care to justify the sin of selfishness and bitterness. That way we can still be selfish and still be angry. Verse 14, when Abraham heard that his relative had been taken captive, he called out the 318 trained men born in his household and he went in pursuit. He doesn't hesitate. He hears his nephew is in trouble, the same nephew who took the best land, the same nephew who walked away, the same nephew who chose himself over the family, and Abram went to war for him. And this is the final test of the highway road in conflict. What do you do when the person who hurt you needs you?

What do you do when the person who hurt you is now in a place where they really need you? The way I put this in your notes is the high road doesn't keep score. It just keeps showing up. And some of you are sitting here and you're thinking about someone who hurt you and you're thinking to yourself, Kyle, you don't get it. You don't understand. You don't know how I was betrayed and you don't know how I was abandoned. And I hear. Here's what I do get, I get the natural human inclination to keep track of every slight, to catalog every wrong, to kind of build a case in your head of why you don't owe anybody anything. I get wanting to just ghost them and move on. And Abraham could have done that. He could have just justified staying home. He could have said, you know what, Lot's not a safe person for me. I need to have some boundaries with Lot. I want to be careful here, because in fact he did have some boundaries with Lot. But can I just make a distinction between a boundary and a barricade? A boundary says, I love you, but we need some space. We need some space. A barricade says, I'm done with you.

I'm done. A boundary has a door that, yes, sometimes it needs to be shut for different reasons. It's wise, it's appropriate. A barricade has a wall. Abraham had boundaries. He and Lot separated, they had some space. But when Lot was in danger, Abraham didn't hide behind his boundary. He crossed enemy lines for his nephew. So I don't know who this is. Maybe it's an adult child that's made some choices you don't agree with, and now they're dealing with the fallout that you told them would come. And you're torn between this, I told you so, and this, would you please let me help you now? Maybe it's a parent, and you're the child. And that parent has disappointed you and let you down, and they have been selfish, and they've made it, they've made your life about them, make everything about them. And now they're in this time where they're struggling, like something's not gone well, and they were not there for you, and you have to decide. Is this a time to maybe open that door? With the help of others, with some wisdom maybe, counsel. Maybe it's an ex-friend who burned a bridge, but now they're in this crisis in their life, or it's a co-worker who threw you under the bus,

and now they're the one drowning. And the high road doesn't ask, do they deserve help? The high road asks, what kind of person does God want me to be? And so I just wanted to end, just very practically, I'm just gonna give you three words, and then we'll wrap up, and so I just wanted to end, just very practically, I'm just gonna give you three ways to do this quickly. Number one, if you find yourself in some conflict, slow the moment down before you react. Before you send the text, before you say the thing, before you hit send on that email, slow down. Any conflict you've ever had that's been significant, you've never once said, you know what, I wish I would've reacted faster. That's what I wish I would've done. I wish I would've said exactly what I thought the moment this came, no one ever says that. It's I wish I would've slowed it down. I wish I would've done what James tells us to do and been slow to speak and quick to listen. Secondly, keep the door open when you need space. I said it earlier, but let me hit this again. A boundary has a door, a barricade has a wall. There are some situations where a wall may be appropriate. Abuse, addiction, ongoing abandonment, there may be some times. But what I would just wanna challenge you with is that most of the time what's needed is a door

where you say, okay, I'm gonna leave the door open. Or at least gonna leave it unlocked. I'm gonna leave some space for the potential of reconciliation. I met with a young lady not long ago who told me that she had decided to go no contact with her parents. I don't know if you know this phrase culturally. No contact means like, hey, I'm going no contact. They're dead to me. I'm having the funeral in my mind. I'm never gonna have anything to do with them in my life ever again. And I don't know the details of her story well enough to know if that was the right line of thinking or not. I didn't know well enough to disagree with her. But here's what I encourage her. I just said, could you add two words to no contact? Could you just say no contact for now? Could you do that? Just say no contact for now. I'm just asking you to leave this much space for God to do what only God can do. I'm just asking you to leave this much space for there to be redemption where God takes a relationship that seemed impossibly broken and he turns it into something. I've just seen him do it too many times in this church to not encourage you to say for now, for now.

We live in a world, kind of this therapeutic age, and it sometimes confuses healing with avoidance. And so now anything uncomfortable, it just gets labeled as toxic. And anything challenging, it's unhealthy. And anything that requires forgiveness gets labeled as abuse. When the truth is, a lot of us are just, we're not so much protecting our peace as we're protecting our pride. I'm just asking, just leave it open a little. Thirdly, release the outcome after you've done your part. This is one of the hardest parts of this. It's what Abram does though. He let Lot choose and then he trusted God to figure it out. He didn't try to control the outcome, he didn't try to manipulate the situation. Like this is what I would do. I would say, okay, you choose, but then behind the scenes, I would be working to try to make sure at the end of the day, everything was fair. The reality is you can take the high road, you can do everything right and still feel like you've got the short end, still feel misunderstood, still feel taken advantage of. They may not apologize, they may never notice. The high road truth is your responsibility is obedience and God's responsibility is outcome.

Your job is to do the right thing. God's job is to make things right. So you trust him to make things right. You're not responsible for the outcome. You're not responsible for how they respond. You're not responsible for whether or not they apologize. You're not responsible for whether justice comes quickly, slowly, or at all. You are responsible to do what God says and then trust him with everything else. You do what's right and you leave it up to him to make things right. We were baptizing people on Easter, hundreds of people with some beautiful stories. There was a mother probably in her 50s who stepped into the water to be baptized. I asked her if she had any family here. She shook her head no. I said, well, we are your family and so grateful for what God's doing in your life. I would later find out that this woman had been praying for her adult daughter for many, many years. They had been estranged. I didn't and don't know the details. I just know there'd been distance between them for a long time. The mother had been trying to make some changes, trying to own her mistakes, but the daughter would not reply to texts or phone calls. The mom had invited her, texted her an invitation

to come to Easter, but didn't even tell her what service or what campus. And the daughter didn't say yes. The daughter didn't say no. The daughter didn't say anything. The mom didn't really know if the daughter was even getting these messages. When mom stepped into the water, what she didn't know is that her daughter had come into the service towards the back of the sanctuary. Didn't tell anybody she was coming. My understanding is she didn't even know she was gonna come until that morning. Snuck in the back, sat by herself, listened to the message. Hadn't been in church since she was a little girl. During Easter, though, she was just undone by the idea that God was calling her to come home. And she was thinking of being baptized, but she wasn't sure. And she sat there praying about it. She looks up on the screen. She sees her mother. Mom, tears in her eyes, declaring that she's dying to her old way of life and experiencing new life in Jesus. When the daughter saw that, like something happened in her spirit without even thinking about it, she got up from her seat, she came back, she found her mom. Next thing I know, the mom who I had just baptized

is coming back into the water. And I'm like, what, like there's no, like this is a no return policy. Like there's not, like. I wasn't sure what was happening. She came over to me. She introduces me to her daughter. Her daughter's baptized. The daughter didn't come forward because her mom gave a great speech. She didn't reconcile because her mom finally said the right thing and won the argument and proved her point. She came forward because she watched her mom build an altar right there in front of everybody. She watched her mom say with her whole body, God owns my life. The old is gone, the new has come. The high road is not a personality type. It's not something certain people are just naturally gifted at. It's where you find yourself when you finally surrender to God. As we close, there's a moment in the story. Just stick with me for a minute more because this is, I wasn't sure what to do with this, but I don't want us to miss it. It's after Abram rescues Lot. It's just this moment that's really easy to miss. I wasn't sure where to put my sermon. In your notes, I just kind of boxed this out at the bottom.

But Abraham's taken the high road. He's trusted God. He's rescued Lot. And then out of nowhere in Genesis 14, this man steps onto the scene. It's just one scene. He's just there for a moment, and then he's not. There's no introduction of this man. There's no backstory. There's just this name of this person we meet in Genesis 14. His name is Melchizedek. And all we know about him, this is in your notes, is that Melchizedek was both a king and a priest. But that's really weird because in the Old Testament, you were a priest or you were a king, but you weren't a priest and a king, but Melchizedek is a priest and a king. Only other person that's priest and king is Jesus. Text goes on to very specifically say that this priest king named Melchizedek comes to Abraham after this great deliverance. And do you know what he brings with him? Bread and wine. Genesis 14. First time bread and wine show up together is here in the hands of a man, priest king named Melchizedek. Even more surprising is Abraham is so moved by this moment that verse 20 tells us Abraham just gave him a tenth of everything he had. Abraham just tithed everything he had to this king. And then that's the end of Melchizedek in this story.

At first glance it all just feels so random. But it's it's not random at all. Like Abraham has just been delivered. He's standing in the presence of a priest-king. His instinct is to give a tenth of everything he owns. After being delivered, no one told him to do it. It's not a command. It's not a law. It's not obligation. This is hundreds of years before Moses would institute a tithe. So when the tithe shows up, it didn't start with the law. It started with a response of gratitude. Abraham just gave generously to this priest-king because he was overwhelmed by how God had graciously delivered him. The word Melchizedek, the name Melchizedek comes up in the New Testament too, in Hebrews chapter 7. We read it. We finally learn a little bit more about it. Here's what Hebrews 7 says about Melchizedek. He was without father or mother or genealogy. Having neither beginning of days nor end of life. And theologians have wrestled with this moment wondering if Melchizedek is actually Jesus showing up on earth in the Old Testament. That Jesus, that this is a pre-incarnate Christ that comes on the scene. Or maybe Melchizedek is simply pointing us to Jesus. But either way, what we do know is years later in an upper room, there would be another priest-king who would sit at the table with his followers, who would hold in his hands bread and wine, and tell them to celebrate and remember the great deliverance. And just like Abraham, every time we encounter the grace of God, it's really our only fitting response. It's to remember and then commit. Generosity is not an obligation. It is a response of faith. It is an expression of gratitude. It's what happens when you realize that you've been rescued. It's what happens when you realize you didn't save yourself. You come face to face with Jesus, the priest-king, whose body was broken for you, whose blood was spilled out for your deliverance. So that's how we're going to end the message here together. We're just going to have a time of communion, if you want to get your communion out. You hold the bread and the cup, and you remember the body of Christ broken and the blood of Jesus poured out for us. Remember that Jesus took the ultimate high road so we could be brought back to God. And then we celebrate. We celebrate that deliverance by committing ourselves, by being generous with everything that he's given us.

As we recognize it all belongs to him forever. Let me pray. God, I thank you for your grace that meets us right where we're at here. And thank you that you took the high road for us, that while we were still sinners, you sent your Son to die for us. Before we had taken any step towards you, you came for us. That you went to war for us. And so Lord, in these next few minutes, as we take communion, would you just let us remember our great deliverance? And would you let us respond by building an altar in our hearts of gratitude, of worship, and of commitment? It's in Jesus name we pray. Amen. Let's take communion together. Amen. Thank you. Also, thank you so much for your... for the gift and the love. We just say, and symbolize the love. Welcome the children. You start from the one. We want to... People, the way Jesus does Your kingdom is simple, Lord, teach it to us Your kingdom is humble, as humble as this His King is the Savior, who gave his last breath So may we die daily, our pride laid to rest Your kingdom is humble, in the broken heart blest Come on, every voice, you sing Hallelujah Give a praise Hallelujah, may our hope be blest May we live and breathe in praise

May that be true Hallelujah, and all creation sing Oh, the King of Heaven Your kingdom is coming, your kingdom is here Alive and awaiting, our work and our tears So come to us quickly, forever our prayer Your kingdom is coming, Lord Jesus, come near Sing Hallelujah, hallowed be your name May we live and breathe in praise Sing Hallelujah, and all creation sing Oh, the King of Heaven Sing Hallelujah, hallowed be your name May we live and breathe in praise Sing Hallelujah, and all creation sing Oh, the King of Heaven Your kingdom is backwards, it flows in reverse What you call a treasure, this world calls a curse The small become great and the last become first Your kingdom is backwards, Lord teach us to serve As it is with your kingdom, let it be with this church We sing Hallelujah, hallowed be your name May we live and breathe in praise We sing Hallelujah, and all creation sing Oh, the King of Heaven Oh, Hallelujah, hallowed be your name May we live and breathe in praise Oh, Hallelujah, and all creation sing Oh, the King of Heaven Oh, the King of Heaven ♪ Of every race ♪

♪ Oh, the King of every race ♪ That's cool. ♪ Oh, everything changed ♪ ♪ It's getting harder to recognize the person I was ♪ ♪ Before I encountered Christ ♪ ♪ I don't walk like I used to ♪ ♪ I don't talk like I used to ♪ ♪ I've been washed from the inside ♪ ♪ I've been washed from the inside ♪ ♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah ♪ ♪ I know it was the blood, could have only been the blood ♪ ♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah ♪ ♪ I know it was the blood, could have only been the blood ♪ ♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah ♪ ♪ I cannot explain, nothing's more real than this ♪ ♪ In the presence of God, oh, my heart experienced ♪ ♪ With my shame in the wayside, and my sin at the most high ♪ ♪ I was washed from the inside, I was washed from the inside ♪ ♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah ♪ ♪ I know it was the blood, could have only been the blood ♪ ♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah ♪ ♪ Hallelujah, I know it was the blood, could have only been the blood ♪ ♪ The blood, could have only made His blood ♪ ♪ As the only thing, I was washed by the storm ♪ ♪ It's never been about performance, perfection ♪ ♪ Or striving for excellence, let me tell you ♪ ♪ It's only about the blood ♪ ♪ It's never been about deserve, or earn ♪ ♪ It's a gift, it's freely given, let me tell you ♪ ♪ It's only about the blood ♪

♪ Does anybody wanna be holy, or righteous? ♪ ♪ Purified and spotless, let me tell you ♪ ♪ It's only about the blood ♪ ♪ Does anybody wanna be worthy, forgiven? ♪ ♪ Justified, redeemed, let me tell you ♪ ♪ It's only about the blood ♪ ♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah ♪ ♪ I know it was the blood, could have only been the blood ♪ ♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah ♪ ♪ I know it was the blood, could have only been the blood ♪ ♪ Could have only been His blood, oh thank you Jesus, oh yeah ♪ ♪ Thank you Jesus, oh yeah ♪ I love getting to worship every single week, and I love that we're continuing to walk through God's word. One thing that stuck out to me in this message was the way that Kyle talked about how Abram didn't know what blessing was on the other side of his obedience. obedience with what looked like taking the less ideal path. And what I've noticed is a lot of times being obedient to what God calls us into is uncomfortable and inconvenient. And so my encouragement to each of you watching would be to step into obedience to what God's calling you into. Maybe it's praying with a friend. Maybe it's sharing the gospel with someone for the very first time. Maybe it's just some other way. God's calling you to be obedient. Even if it's uncomfortable or inconvenient,

you never know the ways God is going to use it and bless your obedience. So that would be my encouragement for each and every one of you as we come out of this worship service. Another thing, if you're looking to get more plugged into the content, to dive deeper and deeper into the message, into what we talked about, in ways that you can apply it to your own life, we'll be dropping a Pando exclusive podcast on Thursday. I will continue to do this, but we would love for you to be a part of that if you're looking to learn more about what ways you can apply this to your life. The last thing I want to do for us is close us in prayer. And this prayer comes from an ancient church father, Gregory the Great. So join me in prayer as I read Gregory's prayer. Dear Lord Jesus Christ, by your radiant and magnificent resurrection, you broke the bonds of death and rose from the grave as a conqueror. You reconciled heaven and earth. Our life has no hope of eternal happiness before you redeemed us. Your resurrection has washed away our sin, restored our innocence and brought us joy. How inestimable is the tenderness of your love? Amen. Amen.

Thank you all so much for tuning in. We hope to see you next week.