Stop In The Name of Love | Pastor Josh Thomas | United City Church

♪ I give you glory for all you've brought me through ♪ ♪ And now I'm ready for whatever you wanna do ♪ ♪ I'm moving forward to follow after you ♪ ♪ And now I'm ready for whatever you wanna do ♪ ♪ Yes, I'm ready for whatever you wanna do ♪ ♪ Your presence is an open door ♪ ♪ We want you Lord like never before ♪ Come on, sing it out. ♪ Your presence is an open door ♪ ♪ So come now Lord like never before, yeah ♪ Come on, let's sing it. ♪ In every season your grace has been enough ♪ ♪ And I'm believing the best is yet to come ♪ ♪ The cross before me, my hope on things above ♪ ♪ Jesus, the best is yet to come, oh, let's sing it ♪ ♪ Your presence is an open door ♪ ♪ We want you Lord like never before, yeah ♪ Come on, we want his presence this morning. ♪ Your presence is an open door ♪ ♪ So come now Lord like never before, yeah ♪ Come on, we invite your presence in this place, Jesus. We're not moved by what we see, what we feel, or what we hear, but we are moved by the word of God. Hallelujah, we stand on his promises this morning. Let's sing this part together. ♪ I know breakthrough is coming, by faith I see a miracle ♪ ♪ I see a miracle, my God made me a promise ♪ ♪ That it won't stop now, I know breakthrough is coming ♪ ♪ By faith, I see a miracle, my God made me a promise ♪ ♪ That it won't stop now, come on let's sing that real loud ♪

♪ Say I know, breakthrough is coming, I believe it's coming ♪ ♪ I see a miracle, my God made me a promise ♪ ♪ That it won't stop now, come on let's sing that real loud ♪ ♪ I know, breakthrough is coming, I believe it's coming ♪ ♪ By faith, I see a miracle, my God made me a promise ♪ ♪ That it won't stop now, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ No matter what it looks like, no matter what you feel like ♪ ♪ We trust and believe the promise of our faithful God, yeah. ♪ ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ Good morning, and welcome to United City Church. I hope you were having an amazing day. I know that we're having a really exciting time up here. Man, we have three baptisms today, and this right here is Clint. Clint actually made this decision about 15 years ago or so back in high school, but he knew after talking with his family that this was the next step for him was to come forward with his baptism and to continue to follow Christ. So, Clint, with that in mind, I have a question for you. Have you turned from your life of sin, and have you placed your faith and trust in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior? And it's my privilege to baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Bury with Christ in baptism. Raise the new life, man. Let's go, man.

All right, next we have Camila. We have so many people up here right now. Camila actually has been coming to our church for about a year now, More recently where she's been wrestling with this having this relationship with Jesus and it was two Sundays ago that she finally said it's Time that I need to surrender my life to Jesus And so I have one question for you. Have you turned from a life of sin and said yes to Jesus? Yes. Well now I get to baptize you in the name of the Father Son and Holy Spirit All right now we have Amelia Oh Amelia we have so many people up here so much family And we're really excited to celebrate this with you Amelia has told just all of us from encounter weekend that she was watching all the students just worship and pour their hearts out to The Lord and she started thinking to herself Do I have that personal relationship that everybody else is displaying right now? And she said in that moment, she's got on her knees and surrendered her life to Jesus. And so yes So now I have one question for you. Have you turned from a life of sin and surrendered your life to Jesus? Well, now I get to baptize you in the name of the Father Son and Holy Spirit bear to the crescent baptism I Man can we celebrate life change here at United City? There's just nothing like it getting to watch three people take their next step. I'm Rachel Sieber We're so glad that you guys are here. And if you are a first-time guest in the room, we just want to say welcome Thank you for choosing to spend your morning with us 1130 Can you help me welcome the first-time guests in the room? What I'd love to ask you to do is get your phones out There's a tap tag on the seat back in front of you This is going to be your one-stop shop for all the information that you need here at United City There's a first-time guest form that I want you to take a moment and fill out I promise we're not going to bombard you with information

But as a staff, we would love to just touch base with you this week and say welcome We're so thankful that you're here with us. Also when you leave this room today, there's a first-time guest booth in the lobby There's three huge blue banners and a serve team of people that would love to shake your hand give you a gift and then answer any questions that you have about what's happening here and Get you connected to one of our amazing life groups also on this tap tag There's a guide that's going to give you up-to-date things on everything that's happening throughout the week every week So when you come in every week, make sure that you use the tap tag in front of you It's also a way that you can give here at United City or set up reoccurring giving We're so excited that you're here And at this time I'm going to ask our ushers to come down and help receive our tithes and offering and while they do that I have a really exciting update for you guys United City we are funded to start renovations on our United building Isn't that amazing? Pastor Chris challenged us last week and asked some of us to give 500 or even a thousand dollars if we could and so many of you gave and we want to say Thank you. We had first-time guests in the room last week give towards this project, which is just Unbelievable. This building is going to be used for our next-gen ministry week in and week out There are first-time guests that come every week from high schools and middle schools all over because our students are awesome and they invite so many kids and the Lord is moving and this building is going to be a way that we can get those kids in and they're going to hear the gospel and Construction is starting and we're thrilled and it's not too late for you guys to be part of it If you want to give and the Lord is prompting you to give towards it You can still do that You can still give towards the United building and the overall funding of it and the contingencies that are going to be part of that So we're so excited we can't wait to see all of that unfold and as we step into this next time of worship Would you guys take a moment and pray with me? Father we thank you so much for all that you're doing For the breakthrough that we just got to sing about God, we love that. We get to see you move and that we get to be part of it Lord we pray that today our giving our worship and

Everything we do would be honoring to you. I Pray that we wouldn't be distracted by anything, but that our eyes would be fixed on you The one who can move heaven and earth Lord we love you and we pray in Jesus name. Amen My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness. I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly lean on Jesus' name. On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand. All other ground is sinking sand. On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand. All other ground is sinking sand. You praise you Jesus, you are a firm foundation. Christ is my firm foundation. The rock on which I stand, when everything around me is shaking. I've never been more glad that I put my faith in Jesus. Cause He's never let me down. He's faithful through generations. So I would even now, He won't. I've still got joy in chaos. I've got peace that makes no sense. I won't be going under. I'm not held by my own strength. Cause I built my life on Jesus. He's never let me down. He's faithful through every season. So I would even now, He won't. Oh, He won't. He won't. Sing it out church. He won't fail. He won't fail.

He won't. That is who you are Lord. He won't. He will never fail us. He won't fail. We believe it this morning. He won't fail. Christ is my firm foundation. The rock. The rock on which I stand. When everything around me is shaking. I've never been more glad. I've never been more glad. That I put my faith in Jesus. He's never let me down. He's faithful through generations. So I would even now, He won't. Stay true to your word Lord. He won't. He will never forsake us. He won't fail. Let me remind you today. He won't fail. He won't. No matter what comes our way. He won't. He stays true Lord. He won't fail. He won't fail. Oh we trust you Jesus.

You are our solid rock. Rain came, wind blew. But my house was built on you. I'm safe. I'm safe with you. I'm gonna make it. ♪ Through all rain and wind ♪ ♪ But my house was built on you ♪ Tell Him today. ♪ I'm staying with you ♪ ♪ And I'm gonna make it through ♪ No matter what comes again. ♪ Rain, pain, and blood ♪ It shall not prosper. ♪ Because my house was built on the living God ♪ ♪ I'm staying with you ♪ ♪ I'm gonna make it through ♪ ♪ I'm gonna make it through ♪ ♪ I'm standing strong on you ♪ ♪ I'm gonna make it through ♪ ♪ I'm standing strong on you ♪ ♪ Christ is my firm foundation ♪ We believe. ♪ The rock on which I stand ♪ ♪ When everything around me is shaken ♪ ♪ I've never been more glad ♪ ♪ That I put my faith in Jesus ♪ I trust in you, Jesus. ♪ He's never let me down ♪ ♪ He's faithful through generations ♪

♪ So I believe Him now ♪ ♪ He won't, oh He won't, He won't disobey me ♪ ♪ He won't fail, He won't fail, He won't fail, He won't fail ♪ ♪ He won't, He won't fail, He won't fail, He won't fail He won't fail, He won't fail, He won't fail, He won't fail He won't fail He won't fail He won't fail He won't fail, He won't fail He won't fail He won't fail He won't fail He won't fail He won't fail He won't fail He won't fail He won't fail He won't fail He won't fail He won't fail He won't fail He won't fail He won't fail He won't fail He won't fail He won't fail He won't fail He won't fail He won't fail He won't fail He won't fail He won't fail He won't fail He won't He won't fail He won't fail He won't fail He won't fail He won't fail He won't fail He won't fail He won't fail He won't fail He won't fail He won't fail He My Savior, the one who will never fail He will never fail So I trust in God Say it with me My Savior, the one who will never fail He will never fail So I trust in God My Savior, the one who will never fail He will never fail He didn't fail me then So He won't fail me now We testify, we testify We sing out with confidence And we say I sought the Lord and He heard and He answered So that's why I trust Him That's why I trust Him I sought the Lord and He heard and He answered That's why I trust Him Come on church I sought the Lord and He heard and He answered That's why That's why I trust Him That's why I trust Him I sought the Lord and He heard and He answered That's why I trust Him

That's why I trust in God My Savior ♪ The one who will never fail ♪ ♪ He will never fail, no ♪ ♪ So I trust in God my Savior ♪ ♪ The one who will never fail ♪ ♪ Fail, he will never fail ♪ ♪ So I saw the Lord, I saw the Lord ♪ ♪ And He heard and He answered ♪ ♪ I saw the Lord and He heard and He answered ♪ ♪ I saw the Lord and He heard and He answered ♪ ♪ That's why I trust Him, that's why I trust Him ♪ ♪ I saw the Lord and He heard and He answered ♪ ♪ I saw the Lord and He heard and He answered ♪ ♪ I saw the Lord and He heard and He answered ♪ ♪ That's why I trust Him, that's why I trust Him, God ♪ ♪ My Savior, the one who will never fail ♪ ♪ He will never fail, He will never fail, I trust in God ♪ ♪ My Savior, the one who will never fail, He will never fail, I trust in God ♪ We praise you Jesus, we praise you Jesus, hallelujah. Well, good morning, 1130 service, how we doing? Woo! Yeah, let me tell you something, that's the kind of worship you don't get out here about 3 p.m., y'all know what I'm talking about? You just stay and you keep going, that's the kind of church I come from. And man, honestly, we can just go home after that, my gosh. My name is Josh, I'm the worship pastor here at United City. It is very rare that I get the opportunity to sit on the front row and be led in such incredible worship. I think that's a testament to our team, and whether we're up here teaching or preaching,

our aim is to exalt the name of Jesus in everything that we do. That if there's one name you remember, let it not be Pastor Chris, Josh, Richie, Regina, Andrea, Tanya, Latasha, may it be the name of Jesus that you remember in everything. It is so good to be with y'all, man, so good. Well, go ahead and turn in your Bibles to Song of Solomon, chapter 2, is where we're going to be. And while you guys are doing that, good morning to all of our men and women at all of our correctional facilities. It is so good to be with you this morning, as well as everyone tuning in online. We are so grateful that you guys are here with us. You guys help me give them a hand clap of praise as they're here with us today. Well y'all, we in a series all about relationships, right? All about love, some would say, right? This is interesting for me in this whole thing. Many of you have actually seen my personal relationship with my wife actually play out. Some of you may have known us as Josh and Lily, who were just two single folks on staff. And then some of y'all got to know us as Josh and Lily, who were dating, right? And everybody around here was nervous about how that was going to turn out, including us, right? And then you guys got to know us as Josh and Lily, the engaged couple, which is really, really sweet. I know, right? Ain't she just beautiful? And then you guys got to know us as Josh and Lily, the young married couple. And I don't know if you guys have seen, but now it's Josh and Lily and baby Thomas on the way in October 24th. It is so fun. It is so fun. Y'all keep praying for us. Be praying for mama and for baby.

October 24th is expected date now. Just be praying that God would keep us in perfect peace. But you know they tell you that before you like have a kid, it's probably good to try to keep something else alive, you know, before you go into the deep end. And so for some people, that's like a pet, right? So you get like a pet, you get a dog, you get a cat, you get a bird, some people, right? We, primarily me, I just, I wanted to be a really good plant parent. I just wanted to be a good plant parent. I think we have a picture — OK, that is the best that they have ever looked. Right there. You are looking at them in their glory days. Right there. There it is. And y'all, I hate it because like the confession is like those plants were doomed the day they got in my car. And I hate that because my grandmother has a green thumb, I have friends that are really, really good at keeping plants alive, you know, the whole deal. I mean, here's the situation. As much as I want a green thumb, it's just the truth, all puns intended, I got a black thumb, OK? And that is just — that is — it just is what it is at this point. And as much as I would like to blame the plant for not being able to keep up in this fast-paced environment and just take care of itself, I'm the problem. It's me. Right? Now, some of y'all would just say, Josh, bro, get a fake plant. Cut the hassle. And you have a point, OK? But man, I love the work that goes into a real plant. Like, I love the reward that comes from something real.

Now, here's the deal. It may not look perfect every day, and it may droop a little bit, but here's the deal. It's alive. And it's honest. And over time, if I care for it properly, it grows and it does produce something that's real and rewarding. It brings up another interesting thought. See, in ancient Israel, they understood something about this. So olive growers understood that olive trees just take time. They're slow to mature, but man, they're long-lasting, like 150, 200 years long-lasting. So farmers would actually invest significant care early on, preparing the soil, tending to the roots, and maintaining the tree. Why? Because they knew that what they did in the beginning would determine the quality of the fruit that they produced over time. Now why did I tell you that today? They knew the value of what they possessed. And why did I tell you that this morning? Because for some of you in this room, you're in relationships that are growing, or you're in at least in the growing stages, right? And you're starting to realize, man, it actually takes work to keep something healthy, alive, and moving forward. Well, at the same time, you're watching a culture, be it Instagram, be it high school, be it college, be it in your workplace. You're watching a culture in a world that is promoting the fake plant reality. And from a distance, everything looks real good. It looks clean, it looks easy, it even has the appearance of looking real. But when you get up close and you examine what's underneath, you know what you realize? There's no life in it. There's no growth.

There's no depth. It's just more of the same. You've seen the fake relationship. No fights, no disagreements, no real conflict. And if there is, there's no real resolution, right? She tagged him in Instagram, he tagged her, and you just want to throw up in your mouth because you know what's going on behind closed doors. You know, you're just like, oh my God, why are they faking like this, right? Like you've seen this. Every date night looks perfect, but deep down, you know that things aren't as good as they seem. But you've also seen the other couple, and I know a few, but they're fighting every day, and you're like, oh my God, maybe y'all do need a fake plant, like, please, right? But here's the deal, like, they're sitting with a trusted couple, and they're working through their differences. They're being honest about what they're seeing and what they're feeling, and here's the deal. It's not polished, but it is real. One is focused on image maintenance, making sure that everything appears good. The other is committed to a growing intimacy. Things actually are good. One will always produce the same result. The other one actually has the potential to produce something deep, lasting, and meaningful. And so as we step into a conversation about courtship today, let me just go ahead and give you my bottom line up front. Here it is. What is real will always yield a return, but it's going to take real work. Pastor Chris don't let me up here much anymore, so I got a whole bunch to say today, especially to my young adult crowd. I miss you guys so much. You about to get about eight months of pent-up sermons all in the next — I will have you

out of here by the time — you'll beat the second Baptist crowd to chewies, that's all I'm saying. But before we get there, what is real will always yield a return, always. And maybe you're here today, and you have an ambition and a desire to do things the right way. You just don't know how. You've been the fake plant relationship, and it's not anything that you thought you wanted, and you're longing for what we call the real thing. This morning, if you would allow me, I'd like to walk you through some of the practical handles on how we can do this the right way that yields right fruit. And as we walk through this idea of courtship — now here's the deal, I keep saying that word, we don't really use it anymore, so I'm just going to call it dating with intent, right? So you're kind of past casual dating, you've looked at your pyramid, as Pastor Chris talked about last week, you've built it the right way, and now you're stepping into, OK, I think I could actually see a future with you. How do we do that, right? This is the days when romance is young and it's budding. And it's with that in mind that I want to turn our attention to the text, where we find a very young couple who I would say are madly in love. with one another. They're pursuing a romantic, committed relationship. And my aim today, in the time we have together, is to look at the woman's perspective, her reflections on who she calls her beloved. That's a man, that's a blue thing, you know? And y'all know how much I love poetry. Her words are poetic. But upon a further look, they reveal something deeper. She's actually describing patterns and practices

that you and I can learn from. Now, we're talking about date and intentional date and all that kind of jazz. I'm aware I got some married folks in the room, but I would say this. Even though we're focusing in on intentional dating, there's something for married couples here, too. So don't check out, and here's why. Because over time, it's easy to stop doing the very things that granted you a relationship with your spouse in the first place. Life gets busy, kids get in the way, and before you know it, you drift into functioning more like professional roommates than you do romantic partners. And so no matter the season you're in, this is an opportunity for all of us today to evaluate our romantic relationship with someone. But before we get there, like I mentioned, this is full of poetry, right? It's called wisdom literature. It doesn't always unfold in a clean, linear way. So I'm gonna have to guide us through this thematically, which means it's not gonna be verse by verse, so we can accurately assess what's taking place in the text. But in order for us to do that, I need to give you the season that this couple finds themselves in. And it's the season of springtime, right? Here's the deal.

We just have to imagine what springtime is. We don't really get that. It's just like hot, less hot, cold, really cold, hot, repeat. Right, that's about it, right? So let's just imagine that we're somewhere that actually has a good spring. But will you meet me in Song of Solomon, chapter two, beginning in verse 10. It says, my beloved speaks and he says to me, arise, my love, my beautiful one, and come away, for behold, the winter's past, the rain is over and gone, the flowers appear on the earth, the time of singing has come, and the voice of the turtle dove is heard in our land. It's springtime, winter has passed, and this season is marked by newness, it's marked by life, by freshness, by growth. Winter has passed, which means that the cold and lonely winter nights have moved on, and now it's excitement, and they even say that they're singing. Y'all remember that scene in Little Mermaid, where Aria sung with some, mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm, mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm, mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm, and she's spinning all around, and then she leaves, and then Triton is like, what is going on with that girl? And her sister says, daddy, can't you tell, she's in love. You know, like, that's the season

that this couple finds themselves in. It's exciting, it's new love, it's exciting, it's budding, and it's growing, everything is beginning to bloom. But I feel like the tension we have to wrestle with in a season like springtime, is that we often think the relationship needs a lighter fluid to stay alive, when God is only asking you to tend it with care. You think you have to go over the top and do all these dramatic things just to keep the flame alive, and God is going, no, consistent faithfulness over time is what's gonna yield a proper result. In spring, life is returning, or it's beginning. For them, it's beginning. Things are becoming more vibrant, more colorful. They're asking themselves the intentional questions. What do you see with your future? What would you like to do? How many kids do you want? Do you put pineapple on pizza, right? Like they're asking themselves the real questions. And it's kind of funny, but that is important, right? There's excitement in the air. There's a real desire to lean in and enjoy what's growing. And so I guess the question that the text is actually asking you is this. It's a good season, it's springtime,

how are you gonna handle it? What I found, and even experienced myself, is that when we encounter something good, something new, something exciting, y'all know what we do? We usually do one of two things. We rush it or we run from it. Either way, we ruin it. The text is communicating that it's a good season. It's filled with hope and potential, so savor it. Don't self-sabotage. Now, if you already know it ain't gonna work, girl, be so for real, let that man go, okay? We've already seen about seven or eight breakups. You can be number nine, like it's okay. Like, it's okay. Like, that's why we're doing this, right? Don't waste time. But I also say, don't rush potential tragedy either. Y'all know what I'm talking about? Stuff ever been going so well, like so, so good, that you just start making up stuff in your mind? Like, I don't like the way you said thank you to that girl at the drive-thru window. I don't appreciate that. Or, hey, can you tell me why that girl liked your post? Like, what's going on with that, right? I'm like, hey, I know he's your guy friend, but y'all just a little bit too close. I don't know how I feel about that.

You know what you do? You start making up these problems in your mind and you start to build a case around an anxiety that don't even have real evidence. Toxic is what we call that in the next generation. But there's a term for that, right? Brene Brown calls it foreboding joy. It's when we experience something good, but instead of fully receiving it, what we do is we let it go. It was, we temper it with anxiety, And that's what we do. We let it go. We let it go. the feeling that something bad is about to happen, We let it go. We let it go. so we rehearse tragedy in our minds We let it go. We let it go. as to protect ourselves from being blindsided, We let it go. We let it go. We let it go. hurt, or disappointed. We let it go. Anybody ever been there? We let it go. We let it go. We let it go.

And while there is this wisdom in moving slowly and caring about your heart and caring for their heart and all this kind of stuff, dating should be marked with a very clear intentionality. Because it is the process of evaluating a romantic relationship between a man and a woman to discern whether it's moving toward deeper intimacy and lasting commitment or not. So if that's the case, if this is a good season, that requires real care, well, the question that you have in the room is probably, well, Josh, how do I do this? I'm so glad you asked me, 1130. This is where our couple begins to give us some really helpful insights. So over the next few minutes, I wanna give you a few practical instructions from Song of Solomon on how to invest in what's real and also just how to make it last. First thing I want you to do is this, you gotta pursue with purpose. And all God's children said, amen. The voice of my beloved, it says in Song of Solomon, chapter two, beginning in verse eight. The voice of my beloved, behold, he comes, leaping over the mountains, bounding over the hills. My beloved is like a gazelle or a young stag. Behold, there he stands behind our wall, gazing through the windows, looking through the lattice. She describes her beloved as a gazelle or a young stag.

Now, I don't know how much you know about gazelles, but I don't know that much, so I had to do a little bit of study, right? And this isn't a casual metaphor. See, in the ancient Near East, the gazelle actually symbolized speed, focused energy, and graceful strength. Hilariously enough, because my friends and I like to take really random side quests, I actually got to see a gazelle a few weeks ago over in New Brunswick. I have a picture of it. It looks great. And here's the deal. I was like, I have to show this picture because there's no other reason or no other explanation as to why I could show a picture of a gazelle on a Sunday morning, but it's in the text, guys. And so I'm like, oh, this must be from the Lord, right? But if you look at that picture and she describes him as a young stag, I don't think she's calling him light, cute, and fluffy. I think what she's saying is this, what she's trying to communicate is this. Hey, he's not aimlessly wandering towards me. He's actually moving towards me with intention and with everything that he has. Remember when her beloved came to the door and said, come away. He's saying, come away with me.

He's calling her out of her mother's house and into the fields for their love to flourish. But notice how he does it, guys. He stands at the window, aka he stands at her door. He makes himself visible and available. He gives her very clear and direct signals. He doesn't say, hey, maybe we should like hang sometime and like grab food, maybe if you want to. No, he doesn't leave her guessing to figure out if this is a date. His pursuit is unmistakable. He who has ears to hear, please let him hear that. If you want her, let her know, please, please. This church could cut budget significantly on coffee shop meetings if y'all would just ask the girl out. I've been waiting four years to say that, by the way. What the text is showing us, yeah, I'm definitely a little bit more unhinged at the services, so y'all pray for me, right? What the text is showing us, though, is that this relationship is marked by intentional pursuit, not casual participation. It's not just for companionship. It's for something more. It's marked by intentionality, not entertainment. Pastor Garrett, our young adult pastor, has one, just done an amazing job in his new role with the young adult ministry. So proud to just be there and serve alongside

and to lead worship every now and again. We did a young adult podcast on relationships. Myself was on it, Lily, Garrett and his wife, and then Pastor Chris. You guys can check that out. And if you're a young adult in the room, 7.30s, Tuesday nights, be here. It's a great time. Garrett mentioned this on a podcast and I can't stop thinking about it. Garrett said, man, people nowadays hop into relationships for attention rather than intention. He said, and if there's no direction, the relationship is doomed before it begins. Can I tell you something? You can have all the God-given ambition in the world for something to grow, but without the proper intentionality and instruction, you are cooked. No other way around it. Joby Martin, a pastor I listen to every now and again, he says it this way. He says, our world's way of dating is hook up, shack up, break up, repeat. God's way is pursue, progress, propose, period. You see it? Men who want to honor God don't drift through their relationships. No, they pursue with clarity and direction. Men, our God in the text. It's very simple for us.

Pursue your girl. Let her know you want her. Make your intentions known. And I would even say for the married man in the room, guys, don't let the last time your wife felt pursued by you be when you were dating or early on in your marriage. Because if Christ still pursues his bride, the church, then we don't get to retire from pursuit either. Now, let's be honest. Intentional pursuit also carries some weight. You wanna know why? Because sometimes it just don't wake up. It just don't happen, right? Sometimes it doesn't move forward. It reveals things that need to end. The blessing and the burden of pursuit is that it leads you to either one or two places, advancement or termination. And while that can sting, and probably will for a little second, right, for both the guy and the girl, hey, can I tell you, it's actually a great kindness. You're not wasting time living in the maybe or the obscurity. You're not keeping somebody stuck in ambiguity. No, you're making room for what I call clarity, for healing to take place if it needs to, and even for the right person to step into your story or to step into their story, while all the while knowing that just because someone is no longer a part of your story,

man, it doesn't mean that God has stopped writing it. It just means you gotta keep going, but you gotta pursue with purpose. Second thing is this, you gotta find the foxes. Find the foxes, okay? So he says, come away with me. She says, okay, boo, right? And so she come on, so she come on at the house, right? And then they go for a walk, and it's springtime, springtime, right? And they're walking, and as they're walking, she notices something. There are foxes in the vineyard. Oh no, right? So Song of Solomon chapter two, verse 15, she says, catch the foxes for us, the little foxes that spoil the vineyards for our vineyards are in blossom. Foxes in the vineyard, interesting. Now foxes are small, but they destructive. They don't come in loud or obvious, no, they sneak, they creep, and they take. And that's what makes them dangerous. They're subtle, they slip in unnoticed. Many times they operate on the cover of darkness or nighttime, and they tend to go after what's vulnerable and what's still growing. Best way I can help you out on this sentence, y'all remember Dora, y'all know what I'm talking about? Dora the Explorer, Swiper, y'all know what I'm talking about?

Yeah, y'all know Swiper. Here's the deal, I know y'all know Swiper. Look, Dora and my boy Boots will be on a worldwide adventure just living their life, and then here comes Swiper, right? And after a while, I'm like, Dora, we all see him, girl. You gotta see him too, right? And she finally sees him, and all together I'm gonna say this morning, what does she say? She says, Swiper, no swiping. Exactly, that's exactly what she says. And we learn that as kids, and we laugh about it now, but here's the interesting thing about it. Maybe my girl Dora was trying to teach us all a valuable lesson. That things of value are always in demand, so you better get good at protecting them if you wanna keep them. What the woman is communicating to her beloved, and what I am communicating to you is this. If you want a healthy, growing relationship, you're gonna have to be willing to catch the foxes that would come in and threaten it. You have to identify the small things that seem harmless, but actually carry great weight. The subtle patterns that don't feel like a big deal in the moment, but over time, they begin to erode everything that's good. And you gotta make a decision that your relationship isn't going to live in darkness. You bring things into the light, observations,

assumptions, expectations, and here's the deal. You can do that and honor somebody, but you can also be honest. It's not offensive, it's kindness. It's iron sharpening iron. And so here's just a few foxes that you should probably identify. How do you handle conflict? How do they handle conflict? How do they operate around the opposite sex? How does he treat the women he loves in his life? Does she respect the men in her life? Do they say they're a believer, but the only reason that you know that is because of an Instagram bio, a tattoo, or a cross around their neck? Let's talk about married couples for a second. Some potential foxes. Does working late always override a date night? Is every conversation that you have with your spouse about kids, groceries, or finances? You gotta find the foxes, and here's the deal. I promise you, this text told me up before I got up here, because I'm having to evaluate the same things for Lily Grace and I. But I love what happens here. She brings up a problem, and he doesn't dismiss it. He doesn't say, oh, here we go again, I can't believe you're bringing this up. No, he doesn't dismiss it.

What does he do? He tends to it, he takes it seriously. But let's be real, that ain't the way that you and I operate every now and again. Sometimes, if I'm being honest, we say, that's not that big of a deal. I'll do it later. And sometimes, it feels like we treat our relationships like car maintenance sometimes, you know what I'm talking about? Like, you have a light that comes on, and you see it, and then about 400 miles later, you finally take it into the shop. And once you get it to the shop, they're like, yeah, I'm going to be so for real, you just need a whole new car at this point, right? And now you're looking at this and they're like, yeah, like your brake pad's gone, you need a carbon air filter, your carburetor is gone, your transmission is gone, you need new windshield wipers because we always need new windshield wipers for some reason, right? And you're sitting here and they're like, and that's going to be $98,000 today, how would you like to pay, cash or card? And you're like, oh, no, not today, right? We all do the same thing. We go, oh, no, not today, I'll deal with that later, right? And here's the deal, while that I'll deal with it later mentality is really, really good or can maybe get you down the road with a car maintenance, your relationship ain't going to work that way. Because here's the reality, at the car shop, you can say, ah, not today. Maybe you can say, oh, let me just call a friend. For some of us, it's John Shepard.

For some of us, it's Eric Smith. It's like, oh, let me just call them real quick, right? But when we intentionally choose neglect, what happens is we just push it off until we feel the weight of its effects. And that I deal with it later mentality, it's weakened a lot of relationships that once had real life to them. We see the work, we feel the cost, and what do we do? We delay it or we dismiss it. The problem is why you can put off your car's maintenance, your relationship ain't going to work that way because if you want a later, you got to deal with it now. Put it this way, you can either identify the foxes now or you can deal with the anxiety of mistrust later. You can deal with the foxes now or you can deal with the underlying resentment and bitterness of unspoken expectations toward your spouse later. You can identify the foxes now for my dating and engaged couples in the room or you can feel the weight of not setting boundaries later. The choice is yours. And sometimes, I just want to look at the grace and be like, well, if you would do this, and if you would do this, and you would do this, and God is going, sir, the fox is in you. It's in you. I'm trying to do work in you before you try to tell somebody else what they need to fix. Sometimes, the fox is actually inside of you. I go to coffee sometimes and I just hear a dude say, you know, I'm trying to work on myself, trying to work on myself. Can I just be honest? That is a terrible philosophy for life. Here's why. Because if you hold a surgeon's knife, then you'll cut what you want and you'll

keep what you want and it may not be what leads you toward looking like Jesus. So, the best thing you can do is let the Lord work on you. The best thing you can do is identify the foxes and then bring them to a heavenly father. Like the psalmist says in Psalm 139, search me, Lord. Search me, Lord. Don't search my spouse. Don't search my girlfriend. Yeah, do your work with them. But before I get to them, God, search me. Search me, know my heart, try my thoughts. And if there is a grievous way in me, then God, remove it and lead me in the way everlasting. Because the goal here is not just behavior modification so you can get your booth in. The goal is transformation so that you can become wholly blameless and upright before your father in heaven and do his will with your life. That's the goal here. And transformation only happens when what's hidden is brought to the light and what is broken is placed in the hands of God. Some of y'all say you got a porn addiction you need to work with. Some of y'all still Snapchatting exes. For some of you older folks in the room, you have Snapchat and it's not just for your kids. And you need to bring that to the father. You need to identify that. That's a fox. The enemy only wants to steal, kill, and destroy. Let me tell you something. What is done in the dark will always come to the light.

So before it becomes revealed in the light of day, how about you allow God to call you out of the domain of darkness and into the kingdom of his marvelous light instead of the enemy having to expose it? How about that? Right? Oh, you can come today and be saved. There's a God waiting for you with open arms. He's ready to redeem everything that the locusts have taken away from you. He can take what the enemy meant for evil and he can turn it for good, but you got to be willing to bring the foxes to him. Things are going well for our couple in the Bible, though. If only we could have a relationship like that, right? The taking a walk and things are well, but then the scene changes when we get to chapter 3. Interestingly enough, verse 1, she says, on my bed by night, I sought him whom my soul loves. I sought him, but I found him not. What we're given here is a glimpse into her inner world, almost like a dream. And in it, she's searching for her beloved. She's longing for him. And even though she can't find him, the longing is so strong that she gets up in the middle of the night and she goes looking for him. And everybody she wants to see, she's like, have y'all seen my man? I miss him, right? She wants to be near him. She wants to be close. And here's the deal. If you've ever had a relationship that you love... being in, you know this feeling. Not in this unhealthy or obsessive way,

but in a real way, right? You just want them close, you just want them near. Like you're having a good day at work, that's who you call. You're having a bad day at work, that's who you call. You ready to crash out on your boss, that's who you call, you see what I mean, right? A few nights ago, Lily Grace went to a concert and she called me and I could just hear the excitement from the concert she just experienced. And she just wanted to call me. She also called me because she was like, well, Josh, I'm downtown and I'm a pregnant woman walking back to my car, so I just want to make sure that I'm on the phone with somebody just in case anything happens. And I was just sitting at the house like this, just tell me everything else that happened, it's all good, right? You get this, you feel this, you know this. And maybe it's worth asking if you're married in the room, hey, when was the last time you felt that kind of longing for your spouse? The last time that you adored her and bought her flowers, the last time that you showed him attention, just took some time to check in with your husband and not the kid's dad, to stoke the flame of affection and desire. She wants him. And eventually she finds him, praise God.

And she says in verse four, I have found him who my soul loves. I held him and would not let him go until I had brought him into my mother's house and into the chamber of her who conceived me. Okay, so Pastor Chris is going to walk you through what all of that means in a few weeks. And so y'all tune in May 17th and he will explain everything that this girl is talking about. But for our time together today, here's what she's saying. She brings him into her mother's house into the most intimate and personal space she knows. And I want you to notice this. She invites him in, he doesn't force himself in. She invites him, he doesn't force himself in. Because at this point, it's safe to say that she's beginning to open her life up to him in a deeper way. She's inviting him into spaces and places that are personal, vulnerable and significant for her. And that tells us something about him. It tells us that his consistency, his intentionality and his care for their relationship have created such a sense of safety for her that she feels seen. She feels secure. She feels loved. And it moves her towards this willing vulnerability.

But then we get to verse five and everything seems to slow down. She says in verse five, I adjure you, whether you be a doe of the field or a gazelle of the mountain, do not stir up love until it, do not stir or awaken love until it pleases. See, in the Hebrew, this phrase carries the weight of a very solemn charge. It's very serious, almost sacred, right? And what she's saying is this. Boo, as strong as my desire is for you, as strong as my longing is for you, as much as I wanna bring you into my mother's chamber outside of this dream, there is still a boundary that we will honor and we will do that with everything that we have. Not only do you need to pursue with purpose, not only do you need to find the foxes, the last thing is this. Hey, don't you rush the romance. Don't you rush it. Enjoy the season you're in. Here's the deal. If it's a springtime season, praise God, where things are growing, where there's excitement, emotions are deepening, receive that as a gift. But don't try to force something into something it ain't ready to be. Desire itself is not the problem.

Desire is actually very good. It's actually a God-given gift. Physical desire is from the Lord. The issue isn't the desire, it's the direction we take to fulfill it. We often try to meet legitimate desires in illegitimate ways. And so Pastor Chris has said it for the last few weeks. If you are living together and you are not married, please call the church. We would love to help you take some next steps. If you are a couple and you know that you have crossed boundaries, you shouldn't cling to grace, confess, and get in a group. This is only going to help you. Pastor Chris said it last week. Restraint is not the enemy of desire. Restraint is actually the protector of desire. But the second time in our text, she reminds herself and the people around her that no matter how strong her feelings are, there's a right time and a right context for everything. And until there is a covenant, amen. Until there is a commitment, double amen. There are places you don't go yet. And not because the love isn't real. Don't let them lie to you and say, well, if you actually love me, you would do this. That's not true. It's not because the love isn't real.

It's actually because it is. And you want to protect it. So don't rush it. Don't you force it. Don't try to accelerate something that God designed to unfold with wisdom, community, and timing. Because when you honor God's process, you don't lose the romance. Check this out. You actually protect it. As I close, I want to tell you guys a story that I love telling. Some of you guys have actually heard me talk about this. A couple years ago, a couple guys on staff, on our staff and myself, we got the chance to check out a pretty rare comic book collection. There was an older guy in our church who basically had just started collecting comics as a kid. For fun with his like what his newspaper run money in that whole deal And he became a pretty avid collector of him And so he invited us to come and see it because he was getting an appraisal on it and was gonna sell it Now this may not be cool for everybody in the room, but this is really I mean This is where I like nerd out completely right For me this was wild because I got to hold some pretty rare comic books, right? I got to hold a first edition 1963 release of Marvel's Avengers from Marvel Comics And then I got to hold an original spider-man August 15 1963 release I Held my breath the entire time y'all see how my pinkies is barely touching it Yeah, see that was terrified right and when he originally bought it. He said Josh

Yeah, you know I paid around 12 to 15 cent for it in Today's money that amounts to a whopping one dollar and 15 cent, right? But then over time What was nothing crazy in low stakes actually became in demand? Because people want what's real and they'll pay for what's real. They'll pay for what's original not the counterfeit or the copy This comic increased in value And he told us that if it's in low-grade condition, right it may go for a couple thousand dollars He said if it's in mid-grade condition It could go for tens of thousands of dollars He said if it is graded and authenticated in his world. They just call that CGC a Certified graded copy right he said it could go for hundreds of thousands of dollars And he told us that if a comic book of that caliber is in mint condition Almost perfect That same comic that I'm holding could go to the tune of two to three million dollars Now what does that tell you here's what it tells me I Should have been a comic book collector. Okay. That's what it tells me. Oh It Shows you that when you're intentional to care for something To protect it to guard it Even when it feels small even when it feels low stakes the value of what you're holding can actually become far greater than you ever imagined and why because what's Real what's original not fake or counterfeit it always yields a return It always yields a return and the same is true for your relationships when you choose pursuit of a passionate passiveness when you're willing to identify and deal with the foxes when you refuse to rush what God

Designed to unfold you don't just sustain a relationship. You don't just get more of the same No You actually increase the value of that relationship and so let me ask you this whether you're five days in the dating five Months into dating or 50 or five decades into marriage. Are you aiming for a mint condition? relationship Are you willing to cherish what you have knowing with intentionality and right timing you will receive something far greater than you could ever Imagine but that's only gonna come if you don't rush the romance I'm also aware that there may be people in this room that Man it's just been hard You might be in a place where you don't know if you'll ever have a significant other Maybe there's a lot of anxiety and tension around your current dating or really a dating relationship Maybe you're married And you're like Josh you keep talking about this springtime situation. It just feels like winter and It's felt like winter for a long time Maybe your spouse is actually graduated to the next chapter of life and you're going. Okay, what's what's left? What's next? Maybe you're engaged and you're this is the most exciting chapter of your life regardless of where you are Can I just take a few moments to tell you about the only one that's truly capable of tending to your heart with a perfected love You know as the Puritan studied the song of Solomon This is kind of funny they didn't feel the most comfortable taking the literal approach towards the text and Decided to view the text through the lens of Christ and his relationship with the church Now while that can get a little weird the deeper you go into song of Solomon, right I Just want to invite you for a second to consider Jesus the beloved of heaven the Son of God Emmanuel portrayed in our text here today The same way that she calls her beloved a young stag can I tell you church that he is the one who like a young stag Driven and determined actually crossed the ground great divide between heaven and earth to pursue you. Like her beloved who stood at the lattice, he stands at the door, he says, and I stand

and I knock. And what does he do? He calls us out of what is familiar, even what is broken, and he invites us into the domain of darkness — invites us out of the domain of darkness and into the kingdom of his marvelous light. He says, come away with me into a world that you would have never been able to achieve on your own. Jesus is the one who uproots the foxes of sin and death, the things that quietly destroy and separate you from your relationship with him. He looked at the foxes, he considered the cost, and he still said it was worth it, it says in Hebrews. He says, for the joy that was set before him, the joy of relationship with you and me. What does he do? He endured the cross. He despised the shame, and what did he do? He is now seated at the right hand of the throne of God. But he knew that he couldn't get to earth and rush it. He knew that he had to wait until the fullness of time. He knew that he had to take on all of human sin. He knew that he had to do it at just the proper time, so he didn't rush his romance with you and me. No, instead, what did he do? It says in Galatians 4, when the fullness of time had come, what did he do? He came to redeem those under the law so that we might have adoption as sons and daughters. Church, let me preach for just a second, please. You may not be in a season of pursuing or being pursued by somebody on this earth, but can I tell you about the one who knows the number of hairs on your head? The one who holds the tears of the brokenhearted? The one who saves the Christian spirit? The one who has invited us to call him Abba Father?

The one who is near to the Christian spirit and who supplies all of your needs according to His riches and glory? His name is Jesus. And He's made Himself available to you and to me. Because of your relationship status. It may be that that's the reason so many years ago, centuries ago actually, that a young woman named Fanny Crosby was invited to come to a friend's house. Her friend got word to her, she said, girl, I just wrote a beautiful piano melody, and I want you to hear it. Will you come check out this melody? And she says, of course. So she goes over, and her friend says, OK, girl, I'm going to play. And she starts playing. And as she's playing this melody, Fanny is so moved to tears. She's so moved to emotion. She's just recounting things in her mind. And at the end of the song, just an instrumental piano interlude, her friend turns around and she says, Fanny, what does this tune say to you? And the only thing that she can respond with was this. She said, blessed assurance. Jesus is mine. Oh, what a foretaste of glory divine. Heir of salvation, purchased of God, I've been born of His Spirit, I've been washed in His blood. That's what that tune reminds me of, that I am so sure of my salvation in Jesus that when all other ground is shaken, I've never been more glad that I put my faith in Jesus. Because He's never let me down. Oh, church, the greatest love story that you'll ever step into isn't one that you find, it's the one that's already found you. And that's the promise that you and I get to hold onto today regardless of the stage

of relationship we're in. The only question is, are you ready to do so? Oh, you can run to Jesus with arms open wide and He'll receive you. So with every head bowed in the room, for some of you, you have heard this, and foxes have just popped in your heart, left and right, and you know you've got to deal with that. Hey, can I tell you, hey, you can cling to the throne of grace. Romans 8 once says, therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For some of you, your next step is simply to get in a group. For some of you, you have been pursued by a Heavenly Father and you have not noticed because you have pursued earthly relationship, and today He is calling you to fix your eyes on Him. And to realize the Scripture, John 3, 16 says, for God so loved the world that He gave His only Son. That if you and me would believe in Him, then we would not perish, we would not have to live in eternity separated from a perfected love, but that you and I today could have everlasting life. You can come to Jesus, friend. So here's how this moment's going to go. I'm going to pray. If you're in this room and you know you need a relationship with Jesus, I can give you words to borrow, but you have to mean it in your own heart. It's very simple. If you know, gosh, I have missed the most important relationship in my life. Just say these simple words and God can make you new. You'll experience and you'll find a perfected love. The words are simple. It says, Jesus, I open up my heart to You. God, I know that I am a sinner. I know that you have saved me.

I believe you died on the cross, and I'm choosing to put my faith and trust in you. Would you come into my life? Would you make me whole? Would you be my savior? Would you be my father? I give myself to you. For some of you, your next step is simply to go public in your faith and baptism. You are pursuing God, but your pursuit is not public. And God is calling you today to make your pursuit public. He's calling you today to come out of what is familiar and to run with Him in the fields. Heart abandoned, everyone knows you love Jesus. You can do that today. Our team is gonna be right up here. Don't wait. There's no greater moment to wait. There's no greater moment to step out of what is familiar and into what God is calling you into. So, I'm gonna pray. When I pray, we're gonna stand, we're gonna sing a little bit, we're gonna say, God, I trust in you. You're my savior. And if you need to pray with somebody, maybe it's a family need, maybe, maybe you're in a season of singleness and you are so discontent that you just think God has forgotten about you. Hey, let us walk alongside you. That's what the church is for. Whatever it is that you need prayer for, hey, don't you miss this moment. Hey, maybe you don't need to step out today, can you just pray for somebody that does? And so, Jesus, will you come? Father, would you be exalted in the life of your church today?

Father, I pray that you would sweep through this room. Would you call your sons and daughters? Would you call orphans and aliens back to yourself in this moment, Father? Would you save Holy Spirit? Would you do the work that only you can do? It's in your name that we pray. Amen. Hey, will you guys stand with us? Will you sing? And then, if you need prayer, hey, come forward. Don't miss this moment. Praise God. Come on, his arms are open wide. He is for you. He loves you. He knows you. He sees you. Come on, we can sing that again. Come on, he's never left you. He's never forsaken you. He's got his eyes on you. Amen. Thank you, Jesus. We can sing that one more time. Come on, he's your Savior. Amen. The greatest love story you'll ever find isn't one you step into. It's the one that's already found you. And so, Jesus, would you be exalted today? Father, would you bring feeling?

Would you bring contentment, peace found only in yourself, God? But for the couples in the room that need to take a next step, Father, I pray that you would do that. Father, I pray that you would give them a boldness by your Spirit to step out in truth and grace, Father. I pray that you would cling to grace. Father, I pray that you would bring healthy marriages, healthy moms and dads, Father. Healthy dating couples, Father. May this church be marked by the way we love one another and the way we do relationship with one another. Father, be exalted. We love you. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Amen. Hey, you guys, give me just a moment. Amen. Praise God. So, we've been talking a lot about single dating, engaged, courtship, all that kind of stuff. But now we're going to take a turn and start talking about a lot more marriage stuff, which is going to be really exciting. We've actually got a really exciting night happening next week, next Sunday, and we just want you guys to take a look at everything that's in store. Check the screens. Marriage takes more than good intentions. It takes time, investment, and the right foundation. In a world that pulls couples in every direction, healthy relationships don't happen by accident. They're built through commitment, communication, and keeping God at the center. That's why we're inviting you to join us.

A special marriage enrichment night inspired by our Song of Solomon series, featuring a teaching from Jared and Debbie Stephens of Champion Forest Church. Couples of every age and stage will experience a meaningful evening with practical activities, intentional connection, and biblical encouragement designed to help strengthen your marriage. Join us on May 3rd at 5.30. Come expectant and come ready to grow together. Amen. Did you guys enjoy the message this morning? Again, we're so glad that you joined us, and we can't wait. You do not want to miss this. story of us next Sunday night. Sunday morning, we're gonna continue our series in the Song of Us, but Sunday night for every married couple in the room, register today before you leave. Your marriage is worth the investment. It's worth it to your kids to see you invest in your marriage. You can have dinner before you come and have dessert while you're here, or you can do what's more fun and have dessert first and then go to dinner after, but this date night is planned for you. We're gonna have fun activities. You're gonna get deep connection and teaching from Jarrett and Debbie Stevens, and Pastor Chris and Hilary are gonna join us on stage two. It's gonna be awesome, and I promise you don't wanna miss. It starts at 5.30, session starts at six, and you want to be here.

You can use the tap tag in front of you to register now or the QR code that was just on the screen, and you guys, it's gonna be an incredible night next Sunday night. Thanks so much for joining us today. We'll see you next Sunday. Man, what an amazing time that we had today. Hey, if you know of someone that needs to hear this message, we'd love for you to share that on socials. We'd love for you to actually go and check out our socials so you can stay up to date on everything happening in the life of United City, and if you need to take the next step, we'd love to help you do that as well. Love you guys so much, and we'll see you next week.