Sex on Fire — Holy Matrimony — Rich Wilkerson Jr

And today I want to continue. We are in part three of this collection. If you're watching online right now, fill up the chat where you're tuning in from. We love to see where people are watching from all around the world. Let us know right now, right there in the comment section. But today, 1 Thessalonians chapter four. This is the Apostle Paul. He writes, as for other matters, brothers and sisters, we instructed you how to live in order to please God. To please God, as in fact you are living. Now we ask you and urge you in the Lord Jesus to do this more and more. Someone say more and more. For you know what instructions we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus. It is God's will that you should be sanctified. That you should avoid sexual immorality. That each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable. Not in the passionate lust like the pagans who do not know God. And that is in this matter, no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins. By the way, just side note. The Lord will punish, not the church. Now you, your job is to love. Your job is to serve.

Your job is to forgive. Vengeance is mine, says the Lord. You ain't gotta punish anybody. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins as we have told you and we have warned you before. Here it is. For God did not call us to be impure, I like this, but to live a holy life. I wanna take a few moments today in part three of our collection. I wanna preach from the subject sex on fire. Someone say fire. Someone say fuego. Now I can already tell you got nervous right there because as soon as you say sex in church, people kind of straighten up. People kind of restrict a little bit. But how many of y'all know there's no way we can teach on holy matrimony and not talk about this topic called sex? I think it is so very, very important that we just take a moment and actually look to God's word today because here's the reality. The reality is there's lots of topics we could talk about in church. We could talk about addiction and if I preached about addiction, I know that that would affect some people in the audience. I could preach about something like mental health

and I know that that's gonna affect some people in the audience. But when you start talking about sex in church, like it or not, it affects every one of us because we are human beings. It's a part of our makeup. And today I believe it's very, very important because watch this. When the church goes quiet on sex, culture gets loud on sex. Have you noticed that our culture is very, very loud about sex? Our culture has turned sex merely into a commodity. I mean, they sell everything using sex. Cigarettes, hamburgers, toothpaste, deodorant, protein powder, car insurance. I'm still trying to figure out what does sex have to do with toothpaste? According to culture, everything because if you wanna sell it, sexualize it. But listen to me, this is very, very important that you catch this today. You can sell your sex, but you cannot buy your purity. And we are living in a moment right now that people are confused, people are hurt, people are broken, people have been taken advantage by, people are traumatized and in pain because of sex. And I think it's time for us as the church to give God's word, which brings about healing

and illuminates our path. And let's be really honest, culture doesn't just turn sex into a commodity, culture worships sex. Like truly, like culture worships sex. In fact, as we're studying here today in the book of 1 Thessalonians, this is some of the most ancient Christian writing that we have, it's one of Paul's earliest letters. And he's speaking to the church that's right there in Thessaloniki. And he says, do not be like the pagans who worship sex. You can go back to these ancient cultures and you can see that prostitution and sexual immorality was actually a part of their religious function. But do not think that we are so far from 2000 years ago. Somehow we have become more moral. No, you can always tell what someone worships by what someone's willing to sacrifice for. And all you gotta do is look around the society that we are in today and people will sacrifice for sex. Did you know that we spend close to $100 billion in the world on pornography every year? That's the sacrifice. To this day, infidelity is still one of the leading causes of divorce in marriages. You wanna talk about a sacrifice, destroying a home, the pain, the wreckage, the consequences we bring upon the next generation? How about this, one out of every 10 children that you see

will be sexually abused before the age of 18. You don't think we're making sacrifices? You don't think we're paying a price? Yeah, there is no doubt God created sex, therefore sex is good, but sex is not God. When you turn a good thing into a God thing, it's only a matter of time before it begins to destroy you. I think today on this Sunday, we gotta get past the awkwardness and we gotta get loud about God's word. Because if you don't disciple your children, TikTok will. If you don't preach God's word to you, Instagram will try to lie to them. Come on, if the church doesn't talk about sex, Netflix is gonna do it. So why not get back to God's word? God doesn't want you to merely be happy. Come on, God wants you to be holy. Somebody give God some praise in this place. He wants you to be holy. So I know it's a little awkward, but we're gonna do this together. We are the family of God. Right here, the Apostle Paul is writing to this early church. And if you read 1 Thessalonians, what you'll discover is the very first three chapters, he is celebrating their faith. He is applauding them. He is saying, you are flourishing. But as he gets into the next two chapters,

chapter four and five, he's gonna say, it's not enough just to have faith that's flourishing, you need faith that keeps on growing. Growing, someone say growing. This is why the Apostle Paul begins by saying, we instructed you, this is important, how to live in order to please God. I gotta stop right there because that little sentence is transformative. We instruct you, notice that word, not the word inspired, not the word hyped you up, not the word entertained you, we instructed you. Now, we don't really love that word, but we love to be inspired, we avoid being instructed. We like goosebumps, we don't really love guardrails. But if you wanna please God, you don't just need inspiration, you need instruction. Because loving God, this is very important, loving God requires learning, learning. Now, I think we understand this when it comes to like our human relationships. We totally get this when we start dating someone, right? Like when we start dating someone, we're just like so curious. We just wanna learn everything, like we wanna learn all the favorites, oh my goodness, what's your favorite color? Blue, stop, I love blue too. What's your favorite food, you like pizza? Oh my gosh, this is gonna be holy matrimony,

we both love blue and pizza, right? We wanna know favorite hobbies, we wanna know favorite places to travel, we wanna know about family, we wanna know all about your future plans. When we're dating, we're curious, but then somewhere on the journey, we enter into holy matrimony, and somewhere as we make those vows, we get stuck and we stop learning about the other person. I can't tell you how many people I have counseled and been around that are married that will kind of say things to their spouse like, oh, I thought I knew you. Yeah, you did back then. But newsflash, I am a human being who is growing and changing and becoming, and if you love me, you gotta keep discovering who I am. The learning leads to loving. Now, this might be like a newsflash for some of y'all, but I have been married now to Dawn Cherie, it'll be 20 years this year, all glory to God. Now, truth be told, I don't always please Dawn Cherie. I know that's hard to hear, because I am a great man of God. Listen, Dawn Cherie loves me, but I don't always please her. Part of a relationship is loving someone in a way that brings them pleasure. Really, really basic example.

Example, Dawn Cherie and I have totally different appetites when it comes to watching movies. Dawn Cherie likes watching the same exact rom-com over and over and over again. Not me, bro. Like, I need a car chase. I need something exploding. I need a mystery. I need drama. I need anxiety on television because I don't have enough in real life. But because I love her, I want to please her. Therefore, I will watch 47 more times You've Got Mail. Not because I like it, come on, but because I want to please my wife and I've discovered what brings her pleasure. I wish there was some ladies in the room that for a moment would clap your hands and say, preach, preacher. You bet. Paul is saying, I gotta instruct you. I gotta teach you that there is a way to live in order that brings pleasure to God. Not does God love you. The question is, is my life pleasing to you, God? And Paul says it this way in verse three. He says, it is God's will. Someone say God's will. God's will. It is God's will that you should be sanctified,

that you should avoid sexual immorality. So he says, I want to instruct you and I want to tell you that you gotta learn what God's will is and God's will is that you'll be sanctified. Hear that, very important. He doesn't say it's God's will that you would merely be saved. Salvation is about forgiveness. Sanctification is about transformation. You are saved in a moment. You will spend the rest of your life being sanctified. Rich, teach me for a moment, what is sanctification? Sanctification is the process of becoming like Jesus. Sanctification is the process of becoming holy, becoming more and more Christ-like. Listen, friends, I am not perfect, but praise God for the Holy Spirit. Every single damn on this planet, I am being perfected. You gotta grow. You have to grow that God, He loves you the way that you are, but He loves you too much to let you stay the way that you are. And some of us, we don't realize this because right here, Paul makes it so blatant. I know as I preach today, some of this stuff can get me into trouble on the internet and it can get me in trouble in society, but I'm just plagiarizing the Bible today.

God's will for your sanctification, He says that you would abstain from sexual immorality. Ooh, I just wanna try to help you. I wanna try to pastor you for a little bit because a lot of us, we gave our life to Jesus, but we never realized that also included our sexuality. A lot of us, our soul got saved, but our sexuality never got sanctified. A lot of us want eternal security, but we wanna walk around with uncontrolled appetites. And God says, no, I need you to grow. I want you to grow. I need you to realize something that as you abstain, as I restrict you, I'm not restricting you to make your life smaller, I'm restricting you to protect you. Now, I have four children and this is like, I see this all the time. I have four little kids. They're incredible. These children are amazing. The oldest is eight, the youngest is one. How many of y'all know, there's a whole lot of growing up from one to eight. My kids, I don't feel like your kids, my kids love candy. Ain't nothing wrong with candy, but candy needs temperance. Candy needs moderation. My kids don't know moderation. My kids know, are those gummy bears? I need the whole pack, you know?

Now, my oldest son, Wyatt, is learning. He's learning that as he trusts me, I can spare him a bellyache. My daughter Waylon, who's only four, she ain't learned that yet. She wants all the candy at all moments and every time she does, she pays the price. I want you to see this today because holiness is not about God taking something from you, it's about God protecting something for you. This is so important because God doesn't want you merely just to save your sex for your spouse, he wants to sanctify it for his glory. This is why the apostle Paul says, learn to control your own body. My mind's telling me no. Oh, but my body is telling me yes. No judgment, but that man's got more than a bellyache today. Wyatt is more grown than Waylon, and I do not want to put you down. I just want to encourage and spur the people on in this church that you've got to grow. You've got to grow up. You've got to mature. Some of y'all have been living for Jesus for eight years, but you're still acting like you met him last night. Someone say grow up. You're too grown for that. You're too grown at 35 years of age to still be acting like you're 19 years of age. Just too grown. Too grown to be allergic to every committed relationship. Too grown to keep blaming it on your hormones.

Too grown to keep calling it a phase. It's called a phase for a reason. When it's been 10 years, it's no longer a phase. We call that a lifestyle. You are too grown to have an OnlyFans account. You are too grown to be addicted to pornography. You are too grown to keep sliding into people's DMs, acting like it's harmless. Too grown to be posting thirst traps, calling it confidence. Too grown to be walking around with every good gift that God brings your way and you sabotage it. Friend, you don't need deliverance. Come on. You need discipline. You've got to be sanctified. You've got to grow up. This is not about putting you down. This is about building you up. Someone say grow up. I'm not talking about you're too old. I'm talking about you are too culled. You have too much potential. You've got too much grace. You have too much of an anointing. There is too much of a plan on your life for you to throw it away. Somebody give God glory in this house. It is God's will that you would be sanctified, sanctified, sanctified. God, I give you my heart. God, I give you my soul. God, I give you my mind. God, I give you my body, my body.

When we're talking about sex, nobody like gets married or nobody gets into a relationship and go, man, you know what I really want? I just want like average sex and like boring sex. Like you've never heard someone say, I want cold sex. No, all the words and all the synonyms that we use, we want it hot and we want it steamy and we want chemistry and we want it to be electric. Here's what I want to encourage you. Nowhere in the Bible is God against you having sex on fire. God is not trying to dumb it down. God is trying to consecrate it. You can have sex on fire. It's just got to be sex on holy fire. Holy fire. When Dawn, she and I first moved into our house about five or six years ago, we moved in in the month of December and we were so happy because when we moved in the house, we discovered that we have a fireplace. Now in Miami, fireplaces aren't really the norm, but this is like a traditional real fireplace with a whole chimney, the whole thing. And how many of y'all know, we get like maybe three days a year that you would ever even want to use a fireplace, but when we moved in, it was one of those cold days in Miami. My mother said, this is the Lord. I said, let's light a fire. So I got some firewood from Walmart and I got a lighter and within minutes, flames and smoke started to fill my house. What I didn't do was I had failed to open the chimney. Listen to me. Fire wasn't the problem. It was a misuse of the design. And today, if you're new to our church, we're so grateful that you're here. We don't teach on this every week, so next week, don't you and I will be together and

come back. But here at VU Church, we believe that this is our manual. This is our dictionary, that this is God's plan. So if God designed it, God gets to define it. I don't know about you, but like, I don't just want designer shoes and designer bags and designer clothes. I want designer sex. You know you're shallow when you are settling for designer shoes, but never stepping into the real thing. Why would you settle for counterfeit, knock-off, Timu sex when you can have ... Come on, somebody. I don't want eBay. I don't want secondhand. Come on, I want the original, authentic, curated, custom thing. Somebody make a little bit of noise and break the ice in this place. If God designed it, He gets to define it. And all throughout scripture, what you're going to discover is that sex is compared to fire. Look at Proverbs 6, the wisest man to ever live writes it this way, don't lust for her beauty. Don't let her coy glances seduce you, for a prostitute will bring you to poverty, but sleeping with another man's wife will cost you your life. Here we go. Can a man scoop a flame into his lap and not have his clothes catch on fire? Can he walk on hot coals and not blister his feet? So it is with the man who sleeps with another man's wife. When you study the Apostle Paul and he talks about lust, what does he talk about? He likens it to a burn, that something's burning inside of me. Listen, fire is not bad, no, fire is powerful. And how many of y'all know, because it's powerful, you don't treat it casually. Like if you go to the fire department, in fact, my son Wyatt went the other day, he

got to tour the fire department, and he came home and this kid turned into a fire inspector. He was like, dad, where is our fire extinguisher? I was like, son, shut up, okay. But what does he understand? He understands that preparation creates preservation. By the way, nobody's mad at firefighters for giving us rules. How dare you give us rules? You want to limit our freedom and our fun. No, we don't want you to burn down. See, fire in a fireplace warms the house. Fire and sex in a marriage creates intimacy and connection. Outside the fireplace, that fire can burn everything down. There are people here today, I'm not going to make them raise their hands, but they could testify and they could tell you that it was that fire that went unchecked, unguarded, that didn't have any rules, that when it was left unchecked, it brought everything to destruction. Listen, you either master sex or sex is going to master you. Come on, somebody, clap your hands in this place. So today, I want to make this really, really simple because it's part of God's process and we're all on a different part of the journey. We are being sanctified. He doesn't want to just make me happy, he wants to make me holy. I need to flee, run from sexual immorality. So I'm going to need some fire safety rules. Some of you are like, oh, I know one, stop, drop, and roll. Not that one. That was actually funnier than yours and I liked it. We're going to take notes. We're going to do this quickly, but I want you to write these down. I want to try to...this is instruction. So maybe it doesn't feel like inspiration, but it's instruction.

And I need to learn what it looks like to please God. I need to learn how to control my own body. I need to learn how to not look like the world, the pagans. And part of doing that is understanding that sex is sacred and God has a design for it. If you're taking notes, write this first one down. The first fire safety rule is this, keep the flame contained. Very important. That the difference between a fire in your fireplace and a forest fire is really one word, boundary. Is there a boundary? Is there a perimeter? And God has designed a boundary. Look at Genesis 2, verse 24. That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife and they become one. one flesh, Adam and his wife were both naked and they felt no shame. The reason why many of us, we get a little awkward when we start talking about sex in church is because for many of us, shame is attached to sex. But that was never God's plan or design, but rather what you see here is God has a boundary. It's called a marriage. One man, one woman, not entering into a contract, but entering into a holy covenant. The two become one. It is not completion. It is new creation, that God says, I have a purpose for this. This is for your marriage, that you would be united, that when you come together and you share this sacred gift that I have for you, that you would discover true unity. All throughout the Bible, what you'll find out about sex is that sex has really, I like to call it the three Ps of sex. Number one, that sex in a marriage is about procreation, be fruitful and multiply, meaning that sex is a creative power. You might get to build some stuff in this life. You might have a big business.

You might build a big house, but how many of y'all know there is no greater blessing than when you and your wife or you and your husband come together with God at the center and he allows you into the creative process of forming and fashioning a human soul. I just need you to give glory to God right there that he says, I'm going to allow you into that. So sex is for procreation, but it's not just about human life. Sex is always creating something. In a marriage, at the very least, it's creating unity. That's why in a marriage, it's so powerful that when you're having sex, you're bringing about unity. Meaning, if you're not having sex, what do you think you're bringing about? Distance, division. The second word is the word pleasure. You can go to Song of Solomon. Maybe Don Shreer and I will teach a little bit out of it next week. It's a powerful passage, but I mean, yes, there's allegory between us and the church, but at the heart of it, man, you're just watching a husband and a wife love each other. There's a reason why God made sex feel good. It's to be a bonding agent. It's to bring you together. The third reason why God gives us sex is the word protection. When you go to the book of Corinthians, the Apostle Paul will lay it out for marriages. In fact, he says it this way. He says, the only time you shouldn't be having sex is when you devote yourselves to prayer and fasting. I know a lot of the couples in this church, y'all ain't praying that much. He says that when you stay focused on each other, it prevents temptation. Listen to me, you either date your spouse or somebody else will. It's not a game. And God says, if you'll contain this flame, it's going to warm your home.

It's going to be a blessing and a gift. It will sustain you and keep you. It will keep the fire alive in the confines of a marriage. Come on somebody. How many all believe in holy matrimony? Clap your hands today. The second fire safety rule that I want you to write down, this one's important, install smoke detectors. We got to put spiritual smoke detectors when it comes to our sexuality. I don't know if you have ever heard a smoke detector go off, but a smoke detector, its entire aim is to warn you that something is trying to destroy you. A smoke alarm goes off before you see the flames, you can sense the smoke. A couple months ago, we had a smoke alarm go off in our house and friends, there is no noise more annoying than a smoke alarm. I don't know what's happening in hell, but something tells me there's definitely smoke alarms. You can't sleep through a smoke alarm. You can't host a dinner party with a smoke alarm going on. Can you imagine that? What's that noise? Oh, nothing. We like it. No, it is a warning. And it kept going. Dawn and I were like, this is crazy. We walked into this bedroom and it's the one area in our house that our ceiling is a little bit higher. It's almost like a 10-foot ceiling. We have no ladder at that height. I had Dawn Tree up on my shoulders.

We're doing like gymnastic acts and she's up there because she had to replace the battery. And we were complaining like, this doesn't feel good. This is annoying. Shut up, smoke detector. But the smoke detector, I'm grateful for it because it cares more about my safety than it does my comfort. I'm trying to tell you that when you start getting the Holy Spirit convicting you, it's not always pleasant. It's not always polite, but man, it's a warning sign. You are getting too close. Smoke is on the way. You need to get out of here. What do smoke detectors look like? I think the worst. heard that we're looking for today is the word accountability. Everyone say accountability. Accountability. People get this word all mixed up. They think accountability is like a babysitter calling them every hour like, where are you? What'd you do last night? What'd you look at? What'd you see? What'd you hear? That's not accountability. Accountability is you living your life in a way that brings yourself into the light. You will only be as accountable as you wanna be. It's you offering, freely giving.

It's you telling on yourself. Look at what James says. This is the brother of Jesus. He says it this way. He says, in James chapter five, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another so that you may be, what's the word? Healed. That you may be what? Healed. That you may be healed. Very good. Not that you would be forgiven. See, a lot of us live in this cycle. We make a mistake and then we think that God is somehow leaving our side. No, no, no, no. Your problem is that you need healing. And the only way you're gonna get healing is not merely confessing to Jesus. Jesus, his blood was shed 2,000 years ago for your past, present, even future sins. But then he gives us the church, the bride of Christ, the body of God, and he says, as you confess your sins to one another, you will be healed. The way we get healed is through community. But you will always be as sick as your secrets. And if you can't talk about it, it controls you.

A lot of us are living in a cycle of shame because we've got nobody to talk to. I cannot encourage you enough to get into a voo-poo here at Voo Church. I'm so grateful that you're in church. Thousands of people in church today, but something changes when you get out of that row and you get into a circle and you look into people's eyes and you say, I need healing. Here I am. I don't wanna live in the darkness. Very few things that are beautiful grow that good in the dark. You need to step into the light. You need the light of Jesus, the light of God's word to refresh you, to reframe some things for you. You need people like Proverbs chapter 27, that iron sharpens iron. That's what happens when you get into community. Friction starts to take place. Challenges start to happen. But I'm telling you what, the friction has a purpose. The challenge has a purpose. You're getting sharper. Come on, anybody wanna get sharper? Make a little bit of noise. Put some smoke detectors in your life. If you want to be sanctified, if you don't wanna be a victim of sexual immorality, get some smoke detectors.

Number three, write this one down. Don't play with matches. Okay. Thousands of fires are started every year in America, not because somebody intentionally was trying to start a fire, but they were playing with something they had no business playing with. When I was growing up, I grew up in Tacoma, Washington until I was 14 years of age. And I have three brothers. My youngest brother, his name's Taylor, and he's six years younger than me. And I must've been 12 years of age, so he must've been six. And Taylor had a partner in crime. It was his first cousin named Morgan. These were the original Bash brothers. Or for any millennials out there, this was the original Beavis and Butthead. Fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire. If you're laughing, it's why you love this church. And they were under our deck. And in Washington, we had a pile of firewood. And they were playing with matches, striking them, dropping them, striking them, dropping them, striking them, dropping them, until unbeknownst to them, one of those matches caught that pile of wood on fire.

And somehow, by the grace of God, one of the adults saw the smoke, got down there, and was able to put out the fire before the entire house went down. You gotta hear me right now. Most people do not ruin their life in one moment. They ruin their life one strike after another. One careless match after another. It's when the DM starts becoming every day. It's when the glance goes a little bit longer than it's supposed to. It's when the work relationship becomes the work spouse. All that work spouse stuff makes me laugh so hard. Because we don't see the trap. We don't see the lie. We start resenting the gift that God gave us at home. I know, but at work, I feel seen. Right. It's because your work spouse ain't ever seen you stress. Your work spouse ain't ever seen you hungry. Ain't ever seen you in your underwear. You don't look that good, bro. We start resenting the gift that we have at home. I know, but my work spouse, it's so easy. I know, it's because your work spouse isn't raising your kids. Your work spouse isn't putting food on the table at night. Come on, I'm trying to preach to somebody. Don't play with matches. It's this little stuff that we allow to become a fire.

And it ruins us, it ruins us. Number four, write this one down, keep gasoline out. These are just fire safety rules. This is just instruction. God says you can have sex on fire. It just gotta be holy fire. You gotta contain that flame. Get some smoke detectors. Make sure you're not playing with matches. And whatever you do, you don't need gasoline. Ain't that funny, because gasoline is flammable. And we live in a world that is always trying to spice things up. Can I make it a little bit hotter? Let's add some things. I think one of the greatest forms of gasoline in our culture today is this word pornography. And pornography is so, so dangerous because it is taking human souls. We are all created. I don't care who you look at. I don't care what you think about people. Every human being has the Imago Dei imprinted in them. They have the imprint of the maker. They have value and worth. And you say, I'm not hurting anybody looking at pornography. I know, but you've turned that human soul into an object of your pleasure. And what it's doing is it's desensitizing an entire generation.

It teaches us stimulation without connection. And then we wonder when we actually get into a healthy marriage why we are so unsatisfied. It's because you've trained your brain with fantasy, with fiction, with other people. Now you're comparing the gift that God gave you to some burden, to some mistake, to something that you did in the past because it turns you on. And I wish I was just talking to like just single people, but no, I've learned that even in marriages, talking with people, even in Christian marriages, let's add some gasoline. Come on, man, let's make a little hotter. Let's put some pornography on, because that'll be, it's just us. Are you crazy? I'm not trying to be me, but you gotta grow up. Don't add anybody into your marriage bed. If it's a sin outside the marriage bed, it's probably a sin in the marriage bed. God's given you a gift. He's given you a gift. And here's the deal. We all understand this, right? Like Paul, this is what he says about sexual immorality, because Paul writes to the church in Thessalonica, and he says, yo, listen, if you don't work on this, God is going to punish you. But I have learned that when it comes to sexual immorality,

we don't need God to punish us. We're punishing ourselves. Look at what the word of God says. It says this in 1 Corinthians 6, verse 18, flee from sexual immorality. Hear this, this is so important. All other sins, lying, cheating, betraying, envy, jealousy, all other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Isn't that true? All the other sins we do are committing against people, and it brings pain and havoc to their life, but when you are sinning sexually, you're hurting your own body. It's no wonder that your spirit, your soul, your conscience, your heart, even your body, even your mind, it feels so seared. Because we've been adding gasoline, and God said, you don't need any additives. What I've created is beautiful. It's amazing, because I always think that science is catching up to God's word. God's word makes it clear that sex is a gift from God. He created it, it's not God, it's a gift from God. It's to be in the confines and the boundaries of a covenant, of a marriage. And what you'll learn is that in the female body, there is a chemical hormone called oxytocin.

It is called the bonding hormone, that when a woman gives birth, oxytocin comes out of her body because it creates bonding between her and her child. It happens a second time when she is breastfeeding, because it's creating real connection and real intimacy between her and her child. The third time it happens for a woman is when she is in sexual intercourse. Because God is saying, this thing that I have, it's hot just like it is, and it's to create and connect man and woman together. When you start to see that and realize that, you go, oh wow, this is why not only is it a gift, it's when it's misused, it creates such deep wounds. Because so many of us have bonded ourselves to other people, but then we woke up in the morning. And they left us they departed from us and they took something from us It's because the thing that God gave us as a gift when we misused it and tried to add gasoline It just brings about pain. Come on. I need you to clap your hands because we're setting some people free today Come on somebody clap your hands we're setting people free today You can have sex on fire. It's just got to be holy fire. It's got to be God's way And we need we need some safety rules. It's not something to be casual about it. It's a beautiful gift Number five write this down. We're closing. Here we go. You got to know your exit route Whenever you're building a building which we are down in South Miami right now They got to lay out safety plans in case of a fire How would everybody get out if you look around the rooms that you're in right now, there's always exit signs somewhere and around And friends, I just want to encourage you what we just read when the Apostle Paul talks about sexual immorality He doesn't say fight sexual morality. He says flee from sexual immorality Really important language because if you're in the middle of a forest fire, you don't send them like look at my muscles

Come on fire Take your best shot No, if you have any wisdom at all you run So before you try to be a firefighter try to be a fire fleer Because the declaration is not I am so strong therefore I can defeat sexual immorality. No. No, the declaration is I am so weak That left to my own I will fall every single time It's called humility and my Bible says God Resists and opposes the proud but he gives strength to the humble that if you will humble yourself Before the Lord, whoo, this is where it gets good. He will lift you up. How many of you need God to lift you up today? humble yourself Isn't this what Joseph did when Potiphar's wife was like, hey, Joey You look good. Come to bed with me. He's like nah. Nah. God has written his law on my heart I don't need the Mosaic law. I know it hasn't even come about yet, but he put it here He gave me his spirit. You're another man's wife. You want to know what sexual immorality is? it's having sex of any sort with anybody other than your spouse and He didn't need Leviticus and Deuteronomy. It was on his heart. And so when that woman came for him, he said no I can't fight this. I gotta run from it The Bible says he ran and left his cloak in her hands, but he got it Run Joseph run because you are no match for sexual temptation. You are no match for sexual immorality We got to humble ourselves And I'm so grateful to God that when we humble ourselves look what the Bible says first Corinthians chapter 10 verse 13 Write these verses down. This is God's Word. He says it this way no temptation Has over overtaken you except what is to what is common to mankind and God so beautiful is faithful He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear But when you are tempted he'll this is so good He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it Fall the lights went out in this place or if a fire took off guess what? Even though you might not be able to see your row or your aisle these exit signs would still be on And you could find the exit strategy through Jesus You need an exit route I

Think one of the greatest exit routes that any of us can create One of the biggest safety guardrails is that if you want to overcome temptation you need godly vision Isn't this what Proverbs tells us in 29 verse 18 Says it in this beautiful way says where there is no vision people cast off restraint But blessed is the one who heeds wisdoms instruction. That's why I'm preaching this today because some of us we don't know any better Word of God says train up a child in the way that he should go and when he's old he will not depart from it We need vision. Maybe nobody trained you but this is the power of the church This is the power and the beauty of you showing up and being a part of a community and you serving because we all have a family of origin, but we all get to have a family of choice and When you start walking with the people of God you start getting vision even if you're not looking for it I mean I just go back to the last 48 hours of my life And I'm like blown away with all the vision God gave me on Friday night We had a wedding from a couple in our church a young couple. They both met Jesus here. They're serving God They've done it God's way. It's beautiful. And I don't know if I'm just getting old but like throughout the whole wedding. I was just weeping I could have quit crying You say Rich, why are you crying? Well, it's because I'm an emotional wreck but it's also because I was there and weddings hit me different because I started thinking about myself one day I'm gonna walk my daughter down the aisle and when I get down the aisle and I give her away to another man I want to look flat-footed my eyes to her and say I did it right I wanted to say thank you dad for being an example thank you for being a model thank you for being a mentor it gives me a vision to stay restrained I woke up the next morning right here from this location and I led my grandmother's funeral 96 years of age right here in this auditorium she had four of her children there multiple grandchildren something like 17 great-grandchildren married to the same man for 60 years come on somebody we can clap we can clap and as I did her funeral 96 years she wasn't famous you don't know her but I got a vision I don't want to live my life for the resume I want to live my life for the eulogy I want to get old and gray and still be with Don Sheree and have my

kids and my grandkids my great-grandkids rise up and call me blessed last night I went to a leader in our church his 40th birthday man of God family friends there he had his three little small kids there he had his wife next to his side and she got up and she gave him a speech and she said I want to thank you for always showing up the same way when I heard that I said this is the kind of man I want to be around that gave me a vision that gave me a picture going man this is who I want to be and this is what the Apostle Paul is writing he says it this way in verse 7 for God did not call us to be impure but to live not a happy life a holy life it just so happens that when you live a holy life you can't help but live a happy life and I want to preach to every young person and every person here at food church it's gonna be worth it following God it's gonna be worth it letting him sanctify you it will be worth it when you stand in those moments and you recognize I didn't just live for me I live for a legacy somebody give God some praise you can sit down I'm closing I'm closing I'm Pentecostal so I get seven closes you could tell I didn't preach last week God's called us to be holy and I want you to get a vision because I know today I'm preaching and it's not lost on me that some of you're like man I sure wish I would have heard this sermon five years ago that could have really helped me because I'm not in prevention mode rich I'm in damage control that's not that I'm in damage control rich I am literally I have burned the whole house I burned the whole block down I'm standing in the ash of my mistake sexual sin hits us all different ways some of it's the things that we've done but oftentimes it's the things that have been done to us shame pain trauma cycles addiction you say I don't I don't know if there's anything that can be made of this I'm so glad that you're here today because we actually believe in a God who makes all things we believe in a God of redemption that he can give beauty for ashes and today maybe you are standing in the collateral of your mistakes or others mistakes I want to give you hope today that God is here and God loves you

and you can always begin again it's always too soon to quit and even right here today you can allow God's vision to get into your heart you can understand that he has a blueprint he has something beautiful for you I know but rich I don't feel very holy I've done some stuff with my body and I've been in some places with this body oh I'm glad you brought that up your holiness is not based on what you did with your body your holiness is based upon what Jesus did with his body because he was stripped naked so I could be clothed in righteousness He was wounded so I could be healed. The chastisement of my punishment, of my mistakes, it was placed upon him. He who knew no sin became sin so that you and I might be declared the righteousness of God. There's grace here today. There's forgiveness here today. For those that are in Christ Jesus, there is no condemnation. I love Romans chapter eight, the Mount Everest of the gospel. It starts out with there is no condemnation and it ends that there is no separation in God's love. God loves you and God can heal you and transform you in a moment if you surrender. So God, take it all. Take it all, Holy Spirit. God can change your desires, but more often than not, he will just discipline you. He will grow you up. But if you're unwilling to learn, if you're unwilling to be trained, well, it's very difficult to ever become trusted. God has something, I believe, beautiful for you. May we allow him today to transform us. Can we just clap our hands and just thank God for his spirit?