Señales de Alerta y Flores Rosas | Lee el ambiente | Kyle Rodgers

Hola, City First, de mon viaje, susun, alabanza, un fuerte aplauso. Todas las localidades, Cape Coral, Dios detrás de las rejas, es un buen día para estar en casa de Dios. Y bueno, si no nos hemos conocido, mi nombre es Kyle, y estoy muy emocionado de estar aquí contigo. No solamente hoy, sino estamos en una serie que se llama Banderas Rojas y Flores Rosas. Y bueno, it's different perspectives. It doesn't matter where you are in your faith day. I believe that during this month, it's going to really change the perspective of how you feel and the relationships. And who would say that the best creation of God are humans, but we are also the most relaxed and the most, the creature with the most problems, right? In Proverbs chapter four, Proverbs 4.23 says, So to everything, keep your heart, because everything you do comes out of there. So to everything, keep your heart, because everything comes out of there. So to everything, keep your heart, because everything, everything flows from the heart. And what do you hear from this? The book, the writer of Proverbs Solomon, Solomon says, he's the wisest man. This book is written with a lot of masculine energy, because he is a father who is taking the time to speak to his son and teach him to understand the wisdom he has accumulated in his life. Things that he has learned in cultures and beneficial things to live the life that God has for him. There's an interesting word that he uses at the beginning of verse 23, he says, take care of your heart. This word of guard or protect, right? It's something intentional, something that requires effort. And he uses it at the very beginning of this verse, because he wants you to know that having a guard in your heart, it's not going to happen automatically. You have to be willing to do it. And that doesn't have to happen like that, because it's convenient, but it has to happen in first or second. And the result is producing wisdom. Wisdom is not a feeling, it's not an emotion or something that happens in Instagram. Wisdom is really something that develops through the word of God. And wisdom in that context is a limit on your heart.

And we're going to talk about taking care of this guard in our heart. We're going to have to put barriers of contention and limits, right, in our life. And we have to mention in this book, which is called Barriers of Security or Boundaries, limits by Dr. Cloud. And Dr. Cloud has written a book that teaches you to go back to writing, to the foundations of writing, in the limits that I have in relationships. There are four areas. Let's see in the relationships. Don't turn around to see anyone that's with you, so you're safe. Four people. The first area of the relationship where we have to have limits is in our families. He talks about how our families, they are what teaches us, your family of origin, where you lived, or the ones you didn't choose, right? It's a predetermined wiring, so to speak, right? You navigate the conflict according to how the family taught you, the situations, the adversity, how you fight, your work ethic, your wiring, so to speak, right? The wires with which it works, the way in which it works.

Well, you say, hey, my mom taught me that, yes. Well, I'm like those who sang hip-hop, before, right? And I sing it like that. The other area is friendships. And honestly, relationships either flourish or die when you put limits. In every relationship, there has to be a person that has to have the ability to have a word with two letters that says, no. It's a word that we don't like to hear, right? But it's a word that can that can rise relationships. If you're the strong friend that manages to make it work with two Americans, in one, in text, in the text group, I'm going to free you. then all you have to do You have seven days of vacation to be the strong friend. is achieve relationship to what those words mean. When they text you this week, what are you praying for? And that's the bridge. Say, pray for yourself. There it is, absolutely. Some of y'all are nervous because you're like, I don't know what to do with myself. I can tell you what to do.

Go ahead, read your own Bible. They text you, ask for prayer. Why? Because as you take from yourself without limits, somebody's like, that's hard, don't do it alone. You're being strong in the arena of relationships and friendships. And the most important thing is the relationship that you have with yourself can really direct the relationship that you have with other people. The relationship with us. You have to learn what the limit of retarded gratification is. And you know what, maybe you have to invest your credit card because you want it all at the moment. I'm not judging. You just have to know that you have to put limits. Maybe you have problems with yourself, that you have commitments and you don't follow them. Last week, 75 days where I completed doing exercise, a gallon of water, and at least there wasn't a problem. I'm going to talk to him over here. 75 days where I completed doing exercise, a gallon of water, and at least there wasn't a problem. 75 days where I talked to somebody and said, well, I've tried 75 days, the first day, 75 times. I don't get it. I don't get it. Making commitments with yourself, sometimes it's difficult.

Personally, sometimes I don't like to talk about this, but the relationship that you have with God, we sometimes have a distorted vision of God because sometimes we have something in us that we don't believe in. We say, oh, God is good all the time, but when he's not, he's not. And we grew up with a distorted vision of him. Let's see, how? He's God and he just praises us when he's doing good things, when we praise him for good things. Well, sometimes I say, you know what, a friend of mine says, I have a problem with God. He says, I don't see God as my father because my earthly father doesn't want anything with me. This is why I encourage human beings to try to create a new boundary in their relationship with God. And if you remember something today, fence with a door. It's not, well, if your neighbor is not attacking him, put him in your neighbor's arm. Every relationship in your life is as healthy as the boundaries you set for it. Every relationship in your life is as healthy as the boundaries you set for it. You know, you say, well, Kyle, what does a boundary mean today? Well, we're going to talk about the book today. The boundary is the property that God has given you so that you know who has access,

who God has put in your life, and who you give access to. I don't know, not everyone is supposed to know what property that God has given you. The boundary is not everyone's responsibility to do something, but it's the property that God has given for you. Let's be clear. Not everyone has to understand your purpose that God has for you. There are people who are going to believe it, who are going to understand it, but it doesn't mean they're bad people. No, but you have to put a boundary. I visited a friend who plays football. I bought a ticket, but to get to the place where my friend was, where I had to talk to him, I had to have a bracelet. He gave me this bracelet to have access to get to where he was. But everyone had a ticket to get into the game, but not to that area of my friend. And when I taught, this bracelet gave me access to this specific area. Sometimes in relationships or friendships, we're giving people unlimited access to those who don't have a bracelet. Be careful. Be careful that you're not opening

every part of your life in the relationship with God, the purpose that he has for you. You know, in the book of Genesis, there's a book of Joseph. Joseph had a dream when he was a teen, a young man. One day he gets up at lunch and he says, brothers, I had a dream. All of you should be in front of me. Imagine, why do you think they threw him into the ravine and they hit him? Well, there has to be boundaries. Not everything can be shared with everyone. It's not just the plan and purpose that God has for you, but it's trying to identify what people in your life are doing that you're not doing. are temporary and that you forgive and that people add flavor to your life. Who are temporary and who add flavor to your life? Temporary people are good for 60, 90 days, maybe a couple of years. It doesn't mean they're bad, but we understand the capacity. And sometimes we're frustrated in relationships with people because we have people in our lives. But through being with them for life, and no, they're just there to be with us for a certain amount of time in our lives. Friends, coaches, it doesn't mean that because they've been with you, it doesn't mean they're qualified to be with you in the next chapter of life. You know what, I'm going to take the risk. You know what, when you get married,

it doesn't mean that all your single friends have to come with you to your dates. With your husband or your wife. Why? Because they're navigating waters that they may not understand. Let's see, who am I talking to in the church today? Well, who of you understands that there are people that we need in our lives because they add flavor? I'm from the South. I don't trust food that's not well seasoned. And I'd say, let's see, kid, if I were you, like I said, if you put your foot there. Thank you, my wife and I have been married for 15 years. So it's easy, two of us. Happily married, in love, in love. I go, come on, girl, come on, let's dance here. I'll tell you why. One of the things that I'm thankful for is that it makes my life better in each area and each season, including the difficult ones. When you don't agree and you can't agree, she encourages me every step. I'm not going to let you go. I'm going to walk with you and add value to your life. So let me know, you may be married to somebody who you need to bless or somebody to match. It's something that will help you find something to marry. I'm from the hip hop community. I'm from the hip hop community. So when you're doing a good job, maybe you're going to do a job that's good for you because whatever you let in finds its way out. And your thoughts, your words,

you know the principle that Solomon says in 4, in this proverb, whatever you let in, finds its way out in your thoughts, in your words, in your decisions, and in your relationships. I've said this before and I'm going to say it again. Every relationship in your life is as healthy as the limits that keep it. Every relationship in your life. Let's see, you have adults as children and you're still doing a lot. How do you know you're doing a lot for them? Come back here with me. Come back here with me. I don't need somebody to hit you in the parking lot. If it's the first time you're here, don't get lost. If you have adults as children and you're doing everything, you know you have to put a limit because the best gift my father gave me when I was young, is that I had financial problems and I said, Kyle, I love you, but you're not coming home and I'm not getting you out of this. Then I realized that my mom wanted to help and my dad said no because if I help him all the time,

every time he has problems, he's never going to be the man he has to be because we're always helping him. Ooh, I know nobody liked this, but I'm going to say it like this, you have to put limits. And call me, I'm going to pray, but you can do this. Two decades later, one of the biggest gifts my father gave me was the gift of limits. Do you understand me? Over time, without boundaries, people take more than they need. Talking in a place where they haven't earned to be. They have influence, influence, influence in areas that aren't for them. And you know what my mom said one day? She said, my mom, stop talking. And I said, you know what? Well, hey, after Juan Paz, and his son did what he needed to do. Why? Because God changed his heart. Not because the mother was telling him to do it, but because he himself, God took over him and not to let it go to some area. And maybe many of you have to know, I lived a lot, when I was young, with a person without boundaries.

It doesn't mean that I was in horrible sins. No, no, no, no, no. When this happens, it means that there were spaces and areas of my life where I had no boundaries of God And as a result, you go with the wind and the waves instead of knowing where things end and where God begins. I'll explain, do you understand me? And through time, as time goes by without limits, and you feel disconnected, confused, and disconnected from who God sent you to be, who created you. Dr. Henry says this in this book, Dr. Henry Cloud says, we are responsible for others and for ourselves. And we think that sometimes we are, they have others in charge of us and we are responsible for others. No, we are responsible for others, but we are responsible for ourselves. Galatians, the writer Paul, he has a heart of how he speaks, how he writes a letter to people and he says this in Galatians, let me try this for a moment, he says, carry the yoke from one to the other. In Galatians 6 to 2, he says, help yourself to carry the load of others and obey in this way, right? And in Galatians 5, 6, 5, he says, well, Paul, what is the load of others? He says, well, each one is responsible for their own conduct.

He says, well, to carry the load of others, sometimes we are going to be equipped by the spirit of God, empowered by the word of God, and we are going to develop the experience in life to carry something heavy that other people can't. Sometimes, no one else has been called to break the cycle of your family, and people don't understand the burden that you have on your family, the burden that you have on your family. And people don't understand the burden that you have on them because it's not because you're incredible and they're bad. It's because God has marked you and you've been in obedience to say, someone is going to break this cycle of this family, and you say, I'm going to do it, and it's going to happen now. A recent example, I was with my daughter and we were buying a new lawn mower for the house, and we had to go to the store to buy it, and the box said it weighed 80 pounds. How many pounds? 80 pounds. And well, she's 10 years old, and she turns to me and says, Dad, I'm worried. I say, well, tell me what's going on. She says, are you going to be able to load this box? It weighs 80 pounds. And I said, let's do my math. How many is eight by four? She says, 32. And I said, I just did this in the gym. Are we going to be okay? Are we going to be okay?

I was in the gym with this weight. Because sometimes you have to load things that other people can't load. But everyone can load their own load. And the only time I hear this noise is this. I said, you all right? He's like, yeah. So here's what we going to do. I'm a go carry the other stuff around. So my daughter's 10 years old. Two weeks later, my six-year-old son. And there was a 40-pound box. And I'm the dad that every now and then I leave something there to see who of you is going to have the initiative and who of you is going to be strong. Because if you can load a 40-pound box, you can load food, so this box, and my son turns around and he has muscles like this and he does push-ups and he says, he does the cartwheel. I said, I'm going to try. I'm going to try to load this box. And he says, okay. And I said, okay, use your legs. My son didn't use his legs because the next thing I heard was, eh! And I said, what's going on?

And he said, eh! Let's see, stand there and I'll help. I had 38 pounds in my hand and he had the 70, but we moved the box together. Why? You say, why? Because you live in this house with the consciousness of this, what's inside this box is going to benefit you. So you're going to take personal responsibility to load with your own load. It's a moment where the message is, you have to stop and ask yourself, where am I letting someone else not take responsibility for their life because I'm loading their responsibility. Sometimes with our children or in relationships, let me help release someone. You're not responsible for the emotions of other people. Caring, caring for people means saying yes all the time. Being kind means avoiding tension. I'm responsible for how other people feel. You're responsible for the tone you communicate, the time you spend, and the language you use. But I can't help how you feel, because how you feel is your personal responsibility. Many of us grew up without limits. If these limits weren't clear, we think that love has no limits. The book of Psalms has a very good message

about how to be a good person is to not have tension. The tension doesn't have to be resolved. It has to be understood. And you know, if the tension was bad, the bridges wouldn't exist. And in our Achilles heel, it's not. There has to be limits. Investigate the limits and put limits. Limits, limits. Knowing what is yours to carry is half of the equation. And the other half is who you're walking with while you're carrying it. Psalms starts with a process of how to have limits. It's good. It says, blessed is who? It says, what joy for those who do not follow the advice of the Lord. Blessed is who? Blessed is who? Blessed is who? Blessed is who? It says, what joy for those who do not follow the advice of the wicked, nor walk with sinners, nor join in mockery. The writer is very clear here. He gives us three positions of how to be a blessed person.

Paying attention to who you walk with, where you stand, and where you sit. In this context, walking is being careful to go to the path of wisdom. And a wisdom that is not based or advice that is not based on scripture may not be the best. And you know, there are conversations in which I don't want to be a pastor, I just want to listen. And I say, okay, okay, okay, okay. I was talking to this young man and I say, this person is telling this man, just follow your heart. And I say, oh no. Here we go. Why? Because the heart wants what the heart wants. And it's not going to stop anything to get it. Follow your heart. It's not from the Bible. Jeremiah 17 says it very clearly. Lelo, the heart is what? The heart is bad. The heart is bad, right? You walk with it. If you let yourself be deceived, you end up moving with the wrong person. And you say, oh, well, and that's why you complain

that someone broke the glass in your car. No, no, be careful. And so, for nine and a half minutes, I used to do what my homies and I would call, we used to post it up. Because there are so many good advice that are heard well, but they're not biblical. Posting up just means you would literally stand. You would put your back up against the wall. See, if the advice that they gave you is in the word of God, if it's there, nowhere. I'd say the Holy Spirit gives you obedience. If it's not in alignment with the Bible, they say, to the left, to the left. What y'all doing? We post it up. Okay. Be careful where you stand, where you walk. I got, I'm worried because there are people out here where they're just standing. Post it up. You're standing, you're between the middle of temptation and the middle of liberation. And you're standing there.

When I was in high school, I had 10 minutes between periods and we were walking in this hallway and we were like this, no more standing. You know, standing. You go to class, and they say, no, yes, probably. When are you going to get there? At some point. They ask us, what are you doing right now? Oh, we're here, posting. I've seen, you know, more fights in people because they were standing there. I've seen the rumors, climbing, you know, you know, I've seen it. I've seen it. I've seen it. I've seen it. I've seen it. You know,

you're climbing, you're climbing fast because you were just standing there. Divorce doesn't mean you should never have, never should have broken up at the time. Why? Because you're acting like you have nowhere to go, nothing to do. Instead of being where you need to be and that's disaster. Sometimes that mentality of being standing there without doing anything gets into our life. We're in the middle of, in the middle of temptation and in the middle of liberation. And this doesn't happen overnight. It happens because someone is sitting in the reality of this process. The family problem doesn't happen overnight. It happens because in sins, we're allowing

the process of sin. Let me tell you something, students, the blessed individual in a relationship is someone who pays its answer to where they want to be, where they stand and where they stand. If not, you're not helping me here. These small students, this is the first time they're with you. You're not sometimes very friendly. Adam and Eve would probably give me another amen in time. And you'll find this in the book of Ephesians, the book of the Bible. Instead of standing in the middle and saying what your parents didn't do or did, and put them in the garden of the Lord and work it and take care of it. And the Lord and I, I want to talk to the Lord and I want to talk to you. I want to say it from any tree in the garden. You must talk from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it, you will certainly not die. Who do God talk to when you're in the middle? The man in the middle. You talk to him later.

You sit down. Three Bible students in the circle. Hang on. I was born in the middle. When any of the wild animals in the Lord got to the middle, he said to them, wait about it. God can talk to you and he can help you. The first step is to stop sitting in sin and start walking in the direction that God wants you to go. Something I know about boundaries when they're not there is that you're going to die. You're going to be in disarray. And you're going to find where the weakness is. Like Adam and Eve in the book of Genesis. It starts, he says, God took the man and put him in the garden. And God said to him, here's where the weak link was. He said, you are free to eat from the garden, right? He said, you can eat freely from the fruit of any tree in the garden, except the tree of knowledge, the good and the bad. If you eat from its fruit, you will certainly die. He said, the snake was very, very, very mean. He said to the woman, he said, who did God speak to? But God did say, right? He said, the snake was very mean to all the wild animals. And he asked the woman, did God really let you not eat the fruit of any of the trees in the garden?

She said, of course we can eat the fruit. The woman was the one who ate it. Right? Someone felt it. Someone felt it. No, don't judge me, don't judge me. Here it says, the woman is getting the woman, the snake is getting the woman. This is what the snake says, God knows when you eat it, it's become negotiable. And you were dealing, the snake was dealing with who was willing to negotiate the limit that God put. And he said to the woman, God really said that? That you can't eat from the garden. He said, you can't eat it, you can't even touch it, if you do it, you will not die. And the snake said, you will not die. God knows that as soon as you eat the fruit, and you're dead. So, first he said, what does it say? It's the fruit of the tree that's in the middle of the garden. He says, the results are there. And the snake says, of course you're not going to die. God knows that as soon as you eat the fruit,

your eyes will open and you're going to be like God, you're going to know good and evil. The limit was very clear from God, but the enemy tried to have a boundary. Because the limit was passed. And sometimes what happens with us, is that we cross that limit. And we try to get what we think is best, and negate what God says is best. This story as well, always makes me think about that. But I'm not just thinking about it. The Bible says, this fruit is eaten, and Adam gives the fruit to his wife. He turns to look at Eve, and he sees that she didn't die. And he also eats the apple. And the Bible says, immediately they are in a place where they were naked and they hid. See, Genesis chapter 3, verse 12, the man says, wait a minute, wait a minute. He says, the woman, the man answered, the woman that you gave me, Adam, have you ever yelled at people in the Bible that they have to admit that they died a thousand years ago? And he says, Adam, his response is so stupid, from Adam, from Adam and Eve. Because he blames Eve. And he also says, what? He blames God, the woman that you gave me. Adam, everything was fine last week, where Eve was, she was beautiful and everything.

And there was food on the table a week ago. She put on her favorite dress. And everything was fine. Everything was fine a couple of days ago. Adam, what happened? Do you know what happened? He negotiated the limit. They didn't follow God's instructions. I was given fruit from the tree and I ate it. You know, it was negotiable. And this made the limits break. Psalms 1. Do you want to find who is the person you want to be with you? In Psalms, here it is in red, those who delight in the law of God. Read the word of God and say, here we go. Read, memorize, and put to work. Because patterns will tell you a lot about ourselves. Don't tell me what you're deciding, who's getting what, just tell me what you do. And how deeply are you involving them in the matters of your life? Words can be empty, but actions can validate what you believe about someone. Character is what qualifies a relationship with you. Here it is at the beginning, patterns will tell you a lot about a person. See the patterns, not the promises. Character is what qualifies people for that. Psalms 1 and 2, I just told you, it's not the story, it's not familiarity, it's your feelings. For the follower and the believer, it's fruit. That you live a regretful life, beyond an I'm sorry, it's that it changes the direction. Don't just tell me you're going to make changes. I'm going to give you space to teach me.

Stop saying, I'm sorry, over and over again. You have to do something different if you think I want to believe it. They are rising to the limit. Not because it's a wall that keeps you out. No, no, it's a limit. And I've seen the damage it can do. And I'm going to do what's healthy. This message is heavy, because you start thinking about your in-laws and the people you work with, your family, the texts or those messages they send you. You get a text at two in the morning and it says, W-E-D, what are you doing? What are you doing? And the person who replies, it's a limit, block it. Forgiving someone doesn't require them to apologize. Forgiving someone is an obedient way of saying, no, no, I'm thinking about you. No, the devil is a liar. I don't know how much more clear it gets. Here's what I do when I need to put limits. I do two things over and over again. Forgive, because God says it has to be like that. But number two, forgetting, because you're reconciling because someone's behavior doesn't line up. No, I'm going to forgive, but I'm going to remember. You say, Kyle, are you going to count the apples? No, I'm looking at the patterns. You can't tell me it's an apple if it tastes like an orange. I'm recognizing the patterns. It can be good and clear at the same time.

Because forgiveness is between you and God. You don't have to forgive for you to forgive them. Reconciliation is something that they can prove that they're ready because they've made the necessary change to have healthy relationships. If they don't respect your limits, they don't qualify for a more intimate relationship with you. Oh, ask my mom. Well, you're going to do this. The limits are also for your mom. If I come to the right church today, he will not become the man I believe he can become. To reconcile, I say this because I care. I say this because to have the best relationship with others, we have to be clear about the limits between us and God and them and them and us and them. Pay attention to the red flags. Don't be out of certain situations. And I don't say that, don't be out of certain situations. A lot of times you have to have conversations and say, hey, forgive me. You've been out of certain situations. What's wrong with you? Nothing. Oh, but you're like in DMX in 2001. What's your problem? As a pastor, I know, don't be out of certain situations.

Take care of your heart. Not because they're bad, but because you have to give people the opportunity that may be unbounded in your relationships that are on the proverbial struggle bus because of boundaries that have been set or boundaries that have been set. Wherever you are in the world, we all have a place. We all have a place. where a limit needs, a relationship or friendship needs to be surrendered to God. Maybe we got a little lazy. You have to put limits again. And the best thing you can do is surrender to God. How? In prayer. I sometimes have problems. Not only I don't know what to pray sometimes, but sometimes I say, God, I don't want to pray. I don't want to pray. I'm a pastor, but before I'm a pastor, I'm a person. Sometimes I don't feel like praying because sometimes I feel like it's out of my control. But who knows if something is going to change, it has to get out of your control and in the hands of someone who can do it. So I wrote this prayer. You can draw it. You can draw it. You can have the conversation. It's up on the screen. It says, God, this is not easy, but you didn't call me easy. You called me healthy. Help me to put lines and limits that need to be put, to have the conversations that we need to have,

and if you trust me today, I believe the results will compound as well. The hardest part of that prayer for me is God, I'm hearts continues with what comes up, because it's never going to be bigger. It's more going to go harder, but I find it is painful. And you can have the conversations that we need to have, and the discussions that we need to have. We all have this, no one is going to be ashamed. But if you sit in this spot, raise one or two of your hands. It's a sign that I'm giving God the challenges, and I'm willing to receive from him his strength to obey and walk with him. You know what? When Christian comes to talk about this song, it's familiar, it's a prayer that we can sing that confirms the statement that we made. Let's raise our hands, open hearts, let's talk and let's sing this song out loud today. I surrender all I surrender all All to thee, my blessed Savior I surrender all Come on, sing that again. I surrender all I surrender all All to thee, my blessed Savior I surrender all All to thee

And all to thee, my blessed Savior I surrender all I surrender all All to thee, my blessed Savior I surrender all All to thee, my blessed Savior I surrender all All to thee, my blessed Savior I surrender all All to thee, my blessed Savior I surrender all All to thee, my blessed Savior Today, in the name of Jesus, we sing this song. And we all say, Amen, Amen, Amen. A big round of applause.