RPM : Four Wheels Of RPM's (Full Experience)

My hopes in him my confidence is in him. What I love about this is the Holy Spirit is everything we'll ever need. He's our teacher our guide our comforter our advocate and we have access this morning to call on him. So if you feel comfortable today can you lift your hands with me. We're just going to call on the Holy Spirit Holy Spirit we call upon your name. We know you strengthen us in the lows and give us hope in the highs and no matter what we face you are with us. We have peace this morning peace that passes all understanding. We thank you for that peace. Would you sing this with me this morning sing Holy Spirit you are welcome. Come for this room and feel the utmost. Your glory God is what our hearts are long for to be overcome by your presence and surrender we sing Holy Spirit you are welcome. Come flood this place and fill the eye. It's not about us it's all about you. Be overcome by your presence. Come on that's our prayer today to be overcome by his presence. Come on let's continue praising and worshiping our King. He stands beside us in every battle he's strong through it all. Come on. If you would have told me all of the ways that one the God would choose to use me. How you pour out all me blessing after blessing. I say you're crazy. If you would have told me how many times I feel this God has said it's worth it. You don't know half the things I've done that make me sorry. But I know he loves me. I know he loves me. That's who my God is. Come on. He breaks impossible. He moves in miracles. He's all to love it all. He is unexplainable. He loves unstoppable. That's who my God is. If you would have told me all the ways that see his hand over my family. And all the lies I see him changing all the stories that I'd be on my knees. If you would have told me how many times he showed the enemy was loving. And how many giants he would slay like they were nothing. Oh I saw jumping. That's who my God is. Come on. He breaks impossible. Oh he moves in miracles. He's all to love. He is unexplainable. He loves unstoppable. That's who my God is. It's who he is. Hire and hire. Hire and hire. Your thoughts, your ways, your love, oh God are fine. Hire and hire. Hire and hire. Hire and hire. Hire and hire. Hire and hire. Hire and hire. Although it prays, oh God, we live too high higher and higher, higher and higher And higher and higher, that's all my God is He breaks impossible, He moves in miracles He's all the rub it all, He is unexplainable, He loves unstoppable, that's all my God is He's beginning in the end, He's my savior, He's my friend, He's the only, He's the one Father's Spirit in the sun, He's the power of the same, that's all my God is That's all my God is, that's all my God is That's all my God is, that's all my God is He's unexplainable, He loves impossible, that's all my God is, yes, yes, yes. How many of you see God move in ways that are unexplainable in your life? You prayed, you've asked God to do something that's impossible, and you've seen Him do miracles, maybe in a relationship or maybe there was something the doctors told you and you've proved those doctors to be wrong. There is nothing our God can't do. Whatever you're thinking is set in stone, there is nothing our great and almighty God can't do.

Welcome to Fellowship Church. We believe in the power of prayer, and we've seen God do miracles time and time again when we come together and we pray. His Word says He hears us, He cares about us, and so come to Him in prayer. And right now our prayer team is going to come down to the stage, they're going to be available in the aisles, and maybe you're here today and you're going through something and you're carrying a burden or you're going through a battle and you're fighting it, you're carrying it on your own. Can I just encourage you? Like if we really believe God hears us and we really believe He cares, then why keep that to ourself? Instead, get out of your seat, get out of your row, come forward, and allow a brother or a sister to pray with you, because there is power in prayer, power in faith. This is a house and a family that stands in faith and prays together, so as we sing this song, if you need prayer, don't sit still, you come forward. God, we lift this all up to you today, when you move in a mighty way in this place, in all of our lives. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ Jesus, the name above every other name ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ Come on, church, sing the sound. ♪ ♪ We're the every song we could ever sing. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ We live for you, I'll lay it for you So sing the holy, holy There is no one like you There is none beside you Open up my eyes in wonder

Show me who you are and fill me With your heart and leave me In your love to those around me Holy, there is no one like you There is none beside you Open up my eyes in wonder Show me who you are and fill me With your heart and leave me In your love to those around me Oh, we lift you up Oh, we lift you up in this place Fill us up on it Holy, Holy Spirit, have your way Have your way in our lives We fix our eyes on your cheeses We will build, sing it out I will build my life Upon your love It is a fermentation I will put my trust in you And I will not be shaken I will build my life Upon your love It is no one like you There is none beside you Open up my eyes in you And I will not be shaken Holy, there is no one like you There is none beside you Open up my eyes in wonder

Show me who you are and fill me With your heart and leave me In your love to those around me Oh, sing, holy There is no one like you There is none beside you Open up my eyes in wonder Show me who you are and fill me With your heart and leave me In your love to those I will build my life Upon your love It is a fermentation I will put my trust in you And I will not be shaken I will not be shaken Come on now you say so We have a solid rock we can build our lives upon Can you give us a praise today? Welcome to Fellowship Church We are so glad that you are here today It is going to be an amazing day Before you take your seat, look to your neighbor And tell them, are you ready? [Music] Good morning and welcome to Fellowship Church One church family in many locations And on behalf of our pastors, Ed and Lisa We want to warmly welcome you to a community That is all about becoming who Jesus has called us to be

And helping others do the same That is why on Wednesday November 11th We are coming together for encounter night If you are carrying a weight, seeking directions Celebrating a victory or just need to remember that God Miele Sin Marcos will be leading us in a special night of worship and prayer. So bring your friends, your family, and the places in your heart that need healing. And also this month, be a part of bringing hope to a child or family this holiday season. Pick up an Operation Christmas Child Shoe Box today and fill it with toys and gifts that will go out to help share the love of Jesus with children around the world. And to share his love with those right here in our community, be a part of hope for our city. So many families are facing some real challenges and we want them to know they're not alone and we're going to do that by filling their pantries with groceries and their hearts with love. So help change a life by signing up to serve or by spreading the word on social media into people in your community. To find out more, tap your seat or visit our website fellowshipchurch.com. You can also fill out our connect card and the seat back in front of you and we'll follow up with you first thing this week. Today is extra special because we're hosting Super Sweet Sunday right after this experience. Our parking lot will be filled with trunks full of fun and candy to show children and families how much they need to us. So if you know someone with kids, text them and say, come to fellowship church, it's not too late. Thanks for joining us today and from all of FC kids, we want to say Happy Super Sweet Sunday! Happy Super Sweet Sunday! Happy Super Sweet Sunday! Welcome to fellowship church, how we doing this morning? It's so great to have you with us. Welcome, my name's Derek, but knowing one of the leaders on staff here and can we put our

hands together, show our appreciation, tell everybody that's joining us for the first time today and shout out to our online family as Laurie mentioned, we're a community that's all about becoming who God called and created us to be and helping others do the same. So if that's something you're looking for or maybe you just need some people in your life to surround yourself with who are encouraging, I encourage you, take a moment right now to fill out our connect card. It's right there in the seat back in front of you. We'll give you a little bit of time right now. If you have a prayer request, we pray over these all week long so you can write that down as well and then when the offering passes, you can just drop it in and we'll call you this week. But I got a question for you, who's excited for Hope for Our City? I said, who's excited for Hope for Our City? It is awesome being a part of a community that shares the love of God every way we can all year long. You know, all year long because of your generosity, we're able to do strategic partnerships with local churches and organizations to go to places that have been devastated by like the recent hurricanes and we're able to show up and provide essential disaster and medical relief, but not just that spiritual relief and give them hope, give them encouragement. And so that's what we do all year long, but Hope for Our City is where we get to do it right here in our community. So if you haven't signed up yet, sign up today. It's the coolest thing we get to be a part of. I'm fired up and we wouldn't be able to do any of this if it wasn't for generosity. So, Church, we want to say thank you to all of you. You know, we just sang a song. I love that song, "Build My Life." I'll build my life. I don't know if you know that. We were singing scripture. Jesus said, "Hey, anybody who hears these words of mine who puts them into practice, you'll build like a wise builder who built their life on a rock." And when those storms come in your life, you'll be able to stand. Well, one of the things Jesus in the Bible tells us to do is to trust God in everything and to offer ourselves in everything. And so, bringing the worship of bringing our tithe is just one of the ways we trust God. It's one of the ways we say, "God, thank you for blessing me. I believe I'm blessed to be a blessing to others." You know, the Bible says he loves a cheerful giver. There isn't anything more cheerful than God using you to bless somebody else. Amen? Anybody experience that?

That's the thrill of a lifetime. So, thank you, Church. And we see the challenges that young families are faced with today. And that's why we're right now because of your generosity, building a home for children and students, young adults, and families to be anchored to hope, to be anchored to Jesus, to be anchored to purpose for generations to come. I'm talking about the anchor center. We're so excited. The best is yet to come. So, thank you again. I'm going to call our hosts forward. Let's put our hands together for all God is doing through his house, through his people, through your generosity. You guys are kind of sleepy this morning. Everybody all right? the kids are gonna get candy I'm sure you can steal a little bit out of their thing they won't know they'll be cool and hey I plot all of you for not showing up in costumes today that took a lot of self-control from you adults those are good move but yeah we're gonna have an incredible time after the experience we're also concluding this series rpm relationship passion marriage and yes another car is about to drive on this stage we have seen some sweet rides in this series have we not if you're a car lover you're like this has been the best series we've ever done in church look at some of these cars unbelievable and if you missed last week and pastor Ed said we saved the best car for last so I don't know what's getting ready to pull through that curtain but just get ready but can I remind us of something can I remind us why we do all of this because it ain't about cars and it's not about candy it's about reaching people and introducing them to the one who changed our lives the one who healed our hearts the one who changes our eternity it's about leading people to Jesus that's who this is all about and the Bible says how will anybody know about them unless people go and tell them and how beautiful are the feet of those who bring the good news church that is you and me and that's what we're here for we're radically rescued to rescue radically so I'm gonna invite you to stand your feet right now and sometimes life can just be crazy and we just need a good reminder a good reset of who we're here for the great I am we're not here for the Dallas Cowboys we're not here to earn a buck we're not here to look cool and be famous we're here to connect with the creator of the universe

who put his breath in our lungs he's the great I am so Jesus we come here today in your house to meet with you we want a real radical encounter with you right now show us who you are the great I am we look to you we lift our voices to you we worship you show us who you are have your way in this place moving our hearts I want to be close close to your side so heaven is real in death is alive I want to hear voices of angels above in the singing house one hallelujah holy holy god almighty is the great I am who is worthy none beside me god almighty the great I am I want to be near near to your heart loving the world hitting the dark I want to see dry I'm living your day singing as a war oh I'm you sing your mighty God oh my great I just want to be near beside me god almighty the great I am is the great I am who is the great I am the mountains shake before you the demons run and flee at the mention of your name king of majesty there is no power in hell nor any who can stand before the power and the presence of the great I am the great I am the great I am ♪ It's a great idea ♪ ♪ A great idea ♪ ♪ It's a great idea ♪ ♪ We say hallelujah ♪ ♪ Hallelujah ♪ ♪ Holy, holy ♪ ♪ God Almighty ♪ ♪ A great idea ♪ ♪ Who is worthy ♪ ♪ There's no beside me ♪ ♪ God Almighty ♪ ♪ It's a great idea ♪ ♪ The great world ♪ ♪ Is a great idea ♪ ♪ It's a great idea ♪

♪ A great idea ♪ ♪ Is a great idea ♪ ♪ One more time ♪ ♪ One more time ♪ ♪ I'm out of shape ♪ ♪ The mountains shake before you ♪ ♪ The deep is running free ♪ ♪ Not the mention of your name ♪ ♪ King of Majesty ♪ ♪ There is no power in hell ♪ ♪ No rainy who can stand ♪ ♪ Before the power and the presence of the great idea ♪ ♪ The great I am ♪ ♪ The great I am ♪ ♪ Oh God, we worship you Lord ♪ ♪ The great I am ♪ ♪ The great I am ♪ ♪ The great I am ♪ ♪ Come on, church, let your voice sing, hallelujah ♪ ♪ Hallelujah ♪ ♪ Holy, holy God Almighty ♪ ♪ The great I am ♪ ♪ Who is worthy ♪ ♪ Does not be silent ♪ ♪ Sing your God Almighty ♪ ♪ The great I am ♪ ♪ Hallelujah ♪ ♪ Holy, holy God Almighty ♪ ♪ Sing to his words ♪ ♪ Who is worthy ♪

♪ Does not be silent ♪ ♪ Your Almighty ♪ ♪ The great I am ♪ ♪ He's the omega ♪ ♪ The great I am ♪ ♪ He's the best in our lives ♪ ♪ He's the great I am ♪ ♪ The great I am ♪ ♪ We give you glory and honor and praise ♪ ♪ 'Cause the words you got ♪ Now let's get ready for our p.m. church. You can find your seat. Here we go. (dramatic music) (dramatic music) (dramatic music) (dramatic music) (dramatic music) (dramatic music) - Well, we decided to drive a real car. For the last session of RPMs, this my friends is a Toyota Corolla. (audience cheering) Let me go on record as saying, it is the most reliable car, at least one of them that you can buy. And there's something great about it to me. These other cars are awesome. The Rolls and the Lamborghini and the Ferrari and the Porsche. But, where's Lisa? Oh yeah, there's you. But this.

- Normally he would come and open the door for me. - I should have done that. - I know, but it's okay. We have some things on our mind and some of these guys. - We do, we do. - But those other cars are great. But I was thinking, Lisa, if those other cars transcendently expensive, if they had flat tires, they wouldn't go. If this car had flat tires, it wouldn't really go. Lisa and I have been married now for 44 years. Can you believe it? I can't believe it. We've been together. We met at church and we started talking, then dating. And then when I just turned 21, we got married. And Lisa is older. I married an older woman. Three months. Three months, yeah. Three months older, yeah. And we have a great marriage. Our marriage is not perfect. And I think sometimes people look at us and go, oh my goodness, you must be anomalies. I mean, of course, you'd be married for 44 years. Either you're both pastors and blah, blah, blah. Well, that's not true. No, it's not true. We're normal.

Yeah, as abnormally normal as you can be. That's us. We face the same problems, the same issues, the same hurdles that every single marriage here faces. That's right. That's right. And a lot of people these have found themselves, probably, with, hey, a flat tire. Maybe you feel like your relationship is broken down and maybe wreckage. Then we've got some great news for you today. That's right. We're going to talk to you today about the four wheels of RPMs. But before we start talking about that, I want to talk about the greatness of a Toyota Corolla. I love it. It's the most reliable car. It is. So who says that? Well, Chad, GPT. Oh, OK. Well, then we know it's for real. Oh, you know it's true. No, it's for real. But one of the reasons-- there's five different reasons, but one of them is because it's simple. It is a simple car. We got into this car.

I mean, it even had like the old school turn the key. How many of you-- Ignition. You have the ignition where you push the button. I just recently got a car that has the push button. And I'm telling you, I always forget to turn my car off. And so I walk away. But now they have a little prompt that says you have not turned your car off. That's the kind of help I need as a driver. It's also consistent. That's another thing that we discovered about this car. Yes, very consistent. It's also very well made, very quality. It's not complicated. It's simple. And you know what we've done in relationships. We've made relationships, I believe, which God wants them to be simple, yet we've made them complex. And one of the great things about this car is it is-- And he wants our relationships to be consistent. He wants us to have longevity in our relationships. He wants them to be quality. I think we sell ourselves short when we think about the power of marriage, the power of the relationship between a husband and a wife. And obviously, that is the part that comes after the dating and all of that stuff. But God wants us to experience the quality.

And then the durability. When Ed and I started dating, we weren't thinking about, oh, are we going to plan for 50 years from now? Like, now we find ourselves 50 years from when we started dating. We didn't think about the long term. But God says, hey, you can build a relationship that's durable, that will last forever. And then another good thing about the Toyota Corolla, the base price is $26,000. Ooh, that's good. Now, let me just say this. $26,000 is still a chunk of change. It's a good bit of money. So even though it's less expensive, definitely less expensive than some of the sports cars that have been on this stage, it still costs something. It still costs something. And to work on your relationship, to invest in your relationship, it does cost something. So kind of relates to marriage. You know, God wants our relationships, Lisa, to go the distance. But again, no matter where you find yourself relationally down this relational road or path, God wants to deal with you and help you and transform your life and mind through his word. I love what the Bible says regarding the Toyota Corolla. Believe it or not, it talks about it. Proverbs chapter 20, verse six, it says,

"Many claim to have unfailing love, but a faithful person, "a Corolla, who can find?" Doesn't say look for an attractive person. Obviously you need to have attraction. Doesn't say look for a wealthy person. Great. It says to look for a faithful person. And that is what we're talking about. How to have a faithful relationship. How to have a relationship, Lisa, that is going somewhere, the four wheels of relational integrity, of relational success. That's right. The first one is alignment. Have you ever driven your car and realized like you're on the freeway, realized that there's like this tug, this pull, it's going one way and that you're out of alignment? I mean, that's a thing. And so we have to take the vehicle into the shop, get the tires checked, because alignment is important. - And that's my tool is that we definitely encourage regular maintenance to take your relationship, to run it through experts who can help, who can see things, blind spots, we talked about, that can really assist you when you drive. But when I think about alignment, I think about priorities. Because Jesus said, let your yes be yes, and your no be no. And then the Bible says in Matthew chapter 6 verse 33,

seek first the kingdom of God, seek him first, and then his righteousness, and this, and all these things will be added unto you. Well, that is about what really matters. So priorities are not complex either. I'm simply putting my yes, on God's yes, and my no, on God's no. That's it. - And how does that relate to marriage? - We have to be aligned, first of all, with the priorities of God. It's so important. Ed has said this every single week, because it is the foundational piece, is do you have a key exchange story? Ed and I have been married for many years. We have been together talking, dating, whatever, for 50 years, that's a long, long time. We have hit many roadblocks and many things along the way, that could have caused us to really be out of alignment to the endangerment of our relationship. However, because Jesus is the center of it, it is, we're growing together individually toward Christ, we're actually growing together. Someone explained it to me like, here's Ed, here's Lisa, and here's the Lord, the closer we grow to the Lord, the closer we're going to grow to each other. And that is the beauty of alignment in marriage. Is it Trinitarian?

- It is, it's the Trinitarian principle, and our relationships should reflect the Trinity. God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit. There's oneness in the Trinity, unique in... - Form and function. - Right, and marriage, we're unique in... - Form and function. Ed and I are very different. - We're equal in form. - Very different. - Like the Trinity, but in function. - In function, in function. - Explain that. - Well, okay. So we need a really longer session to explain that, but anyway, it's more like you have gifts that I don't have, I have gifts that you don't have. Should we name some? - Sure. - Okay. I have a great sense of direction. Great sense of direction. - Incredible. - Incredible sense. - Like ridiculous. And Ed does not. (audience laughs) So... - Beautiful. - Yesterday, we are going to our grandson's baseball game, and it's at the same field it's been for two years. Two years.

And we get to the intersection, and I'm like, why are we not in the left lane? And you know, there's that tug, because I don't want to be, you know, telling him how to drive all the time, although I find myself telling him how to drive. - Yeah. - Because we just went right through the intersection, and I'm like, you're supposed to turn left there. So he goes forward, and this is in South Lake at Bicentennial Park, and he goes forward, and there's a giant arch that says Bicentennial Park with a left turn. And so I'm like, oh great, we missed that turn, and we can do this turn. But instead, Ed, you turn. To go back to the original traffic light, to go to the back way to Bicentennial Park, which the only reason we go that way is because it's closed, or when you're coming to our house, but why would you need to go up, and then you turn, and then come back, and turn right, do you understand what I'm saying? (laughing) Different, informed, and function. - Yes, that's very well said. - Okay, well anyway, I'm sorry to throw you at the other side. - Okay, the second one, though, the second wheel, but here, okay,

let me give some homework. As far as the alignment, Lisa, what are some things that we could do? What would you share with maybe a couple is dating, or maybe someone's been married for five years, or 44 years, are you saying, I guess we are saying, that we should have alignment conversations? - Alignment conversations about your priorities. For example, when we flow from emotions, what we feel like doing, or don't feel like doing, we're setting ourselves up for relational chaos. We have to have priority. - Emotions are important. - They are very important, and God created us that way, but they don't lead. We don't lead with emotion. We lead with the priorities of God. Our yes is God's yes. - Yeah, you don't feel your way into decisions. You make decisions based on God's priorities, and then the feelings will flow. But if you base everything on feelings, It's severe trouble. I've been watching this documentary. In fact, we just finished it. Yeah. We have been watching it. Nick Saban. Did you see that? I love college.

Nick Saban is everyone? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's Saban. Alabama. But wait a minute. Stop. All right. We're going to talk about college football. Yeah. Let's talk about it. I'm dressed to honor the University of South Carolina gamecocks. Because yesterday, it's the school that I, everybody thinks Florida State know. My heritage is the University of South Carolina. And yesterday, we defeated the Tennessee Volunteers. Now. That was a great game. No one expected Carolina to win. I didn't expect them to win because we left and went to the baseball game. Yeah, we turned the team off. We turned the team off. I thought second half. This is not going well. Yeah. I'm a fair-weather fan. So I left. I'm not a fair-weathered friend. No, you're not. I'm a great friend, but a fan.

Didn't do good yesterday. Anyway, we leave. It was eight o'clock last night before I realized we won. Ed goes, Lisa. The gamecocks won. I'm like, you're kidding me. They won. And I missed all the great plays, but my son was kind enough to send me the little clips. And I got to see all of that. But anyway, so I'm the football fan. I love this documentary about Nick Saban. Okay. Here's a coach Saban. When you're just a greatest Nick Saban. And that was just an add-on. It has nothing to do with the message. Yeah. When you're as great as Nick Saban, you got to call him coach. When Coach Saban said, though, about emotions, I thought was so powerful. Because they documented the Alabama teams. And he said, okay. We made an emotional decision there, and it cost us. We made another emotional decision there. It messed us up. He said, you cannot make those emotional decisions. And he talks about the process. So God has given us this amazing process. Husbands, it says, love your wives as Christ loved the church. This says wives. We're all, you know, sisters.

Likewise. Likewise. Likewise. We should be, we should take that initiative. Yes. And we should be, as a husband, a house band. The word husband, house band from two, from two old English Anglo-Saxon terms, house band. We keep the house together. Together. Together. But that doesn't just happen. It's based on alignment and priorities. That's right. So the second one is communication, right? Yes. Communication. And this one is fun. Because Ed and I also communicate differently. Totally. I often say that God has such a sense of humor. Because when he put us together, knowing the differences that we had. In fact, recently, Ed and I were talking with some doctors for, you know, a physical and all this kind of stuff with some new doctors. And they had us do a personality test. And so it's an online thing. Yes, it was very funny. And... I didn't even know why we were doing it. I know. It was like, what does this mean?

So then we go into the office to talk about it. And literally, they looked at us and said, "We have never seen two people who were as much unalike as the two of you." Yeah, they said, "We are complete opposites." Yeah, they said, "We're complete opposites." On how we... All the opposites. But there was a follow-up test. Yes. It was very interesting. And it said, "Based on your relationship, how would you answer these questions?" In other words, the first part of the test was about me and how I would respond. The second part of the test was about how I would respond in light of my relationship with Ed. And things changed. Because I wasn't just thinking about myself. I was thinking about how he and I interact. There were things about you that you've taught me how to respond better. There's things about me. I've taught him how to respond better and how we've learned to navigate through communication. Communication is massive. For too many of us as couples, and you and I were very guilty of this early on in our marriage, me more so than you, I would hold things in. I did not know how to articulate well what I was thinking for Ed. You would make sound effects sometimes. If Lisa makes this sound effect, I just know it's not good. And we all have these little towels, don't we? When things aren't going, well, I'm not throwing you in the fire. I just thought I would just bring that up in front of a few friends. But I would tend to be more like, let's say conflict.

I would tend to be more like the Tupperware, where I call my feelings am, get in the back of a refrigerator, let it sit, it's foils, and it has to be wrong. You have to understand how to communicate. One of the things I've learned about Ed is that he understands word pictures. It doesn't mean that he's simple. I can understand it, you do a great job at that. - You can say that, but for example, when we're on vacation, I love to work jigsaw puzzles. I mean, thousand piece puzzles, minimum. And I just enjoy putting the pieces out, flipping them over, getting the border, filling it in, finding the color categories, all of those, I just enjoy that. So that's what I do on vacation. Ed came up to the table and, you know, he's seen me do this for years, and he goes, "Laysa, I don't understand. "Why do you do this? "Why do you do jigsaw puzzles? "You just take it out of the box, "you do all those different things, "and then you look at the finished product, "and then you enjoy it for a few minutes, "and then you put it back in the box. "What's the point?" And this toss is-- - It's the good question is, is it the guys? What's the point of that? - This taught me-- - All the guys are like going, it's pretty smart.

I'm thinking the same thing when she's saying this. - But this is something that came to me. I needed to help Ed understand. - Yes. - Why? - And you did. - I did this. So I said, "Honey, you love to fish, "and you pack all of your little things in the tackle box, "and all the different lures-- - Yeah, guys, they've seen this too, this is funny. "When Lisa describes fishing, everything's a little. "You take your little rod and reels, "and get into your little boat, "and your little lures, "and you paddle in your little lake, "and catch the little bass." - But I said, "You take all that stuff, "and you go out and you spend hours, "and you may not catch a fish, "and you wait, and you wait, and you fish, "and you fish, and then you catch a good fish, "and what do you do, you look at it, "and then you put it back in the water." (audience laughs) I said, "Honey, that's what a puzzle is." (audience laughs) - That's brilliant. - It's basically fishing. - That's brilliant.

(audience applauds) - All that to say is just helping one another understand the perspective, the prerogative. That's what communication is all about. - Lisa is literally being married. It's like learning another language. Just like, I mean, I'm sure a lot of you have been to another country before, and you walk into the other country, and you're like, "Whoa, different customs, "different languages, different gestures, "this means this, and this means that." And marriage, we have to study one another, and you never arrive at the language. - No, we're always learning. - Like, you speak, Lisa E's, I speak Ed E's, and we have to learn, you know? - To interpret. - Yeah, interpret. - To interpret, yeah. - Communication is huge because Ed does not know what's going on in my brain. And so often, I think women are especially guilty of this. We assume that they've got all this figured out. - You don't. - No, they do not have this figured out. - No, I forgot. - Or do I have that figured out? It's not gonna happen. So, communication is key.

I learned a very good lesson from our therapist after our daughter passed away. She told me, she said, "Lisa, you and Ed "have just gone through one of the most traumatic things "anybody can go through, the loss of a child, "the passing of a daughter." And most couples grieve together, then they grieve separately. In other words, there's a period of time where you're very close, and then there's another time where you segue into distance. - And that would be any tragedy. - Any tragedy, anything. But especially in what we were processing, and she said, "The biggest thing I can tell you "is you're going to have to articulate your feelings, "articulate your emotions regularly." In other words, don't just wait till you're, in your level 10 emotional state, even on level one, be able to communicate how you're feeling. And that really helped me, 'cause I went from that Tupperware to, I'm going to deal with this right now. And at first, it was just us talking about how we were feeling in our grief. But then that has translated into other areas of communication. - Yeah, and thanks to in marriage,

and you have to accept other idiosyncrasies, like I've enjoyed sound effects my entire life. People have asked me over the years, do you practice your sound effects? No, I've done sound effects since I can remember. But I've done a recent one. I wanted to tell you guys about this. This is kind of unique. I don't know why I do this sound, but I started doing it a couple of months ago. When I see the dogs, like when I come in for work and the dogs there, I'll go, "Go, go, go, go, go, go, go." But that aggravates Lisa for some reason ladies. Can you? It aggravates me. I don't know why but anyway, he does these sounds shocker. So I might be I mean I don't know I could be working. I could be just You know tinkering around the house. I don't know doing whatever and I hear this But what happened on Friday Friday? We had a special day. We're gonna talk about this in a second But we went fishing fishing on Friday together. We've been fishing together for 50 years Did you know that because you didn't go with me every time but I'm saying we have fish and I enjoy fishing I do enjoy and so we were out in this little lake and what happened? You made that sound I made this sound effect. I caught a bad Okay, okay I just did it and then I promise you all of a sudden I heard this It was a bird it had to be like and so we're trying to figure out if Ed has unknowingly been imitating a type of bird Was that like a walking bird? I think walking birds do that don't say it's the bird. Yeah, if the bird heard Ed and Mocked him. We don't know which one I mean which came first the chicken or the egg We don't know But either way on the lake. I'm like, are you kidding me?

This bird is doing the exact same noise that pattern everything, but anyway I've not done that sound as much as much It is not ended, but it is not but that's part of communication as much because I have said They're certain that's right. Let's go to the next one. Yes pressure pressure number three pressure There's pressure on relationships if you think about our culture Lisa pretty much everything in our culture other than the church And there's a few exceptions, but the church Everything in our culture is sort of anti marriage. It's it's like marriage That's you know family blah blah blah like it's negative There's this this is kind of vibe the subsurface vibe underneath so much and marriage is about pressure and You've you've said this before and I want you to share this there was a lady who was talking to us about doing some writings and things about Relationships and she said something about our marriage that really put us back on our heels So I started describing the different pressures that we've experienced over the 40 some odd years of our marriage and at that time it was probably 38 39 years of marriage and she goes You have hit the ten markers of divorce and we were like What what's that? And so she started going through all these different things the loss of a child dealing with a child that has helped difficulties Major moves starting a business whatever all these different things that she listed she goes those are pressures that often lead couples to separate to Part ways because the pressure is too great But this is what you find when you're aligned with Christ and God is at the center of your relationship You're stronger when the pressure hits. I cannot imagine facing life's pressures Without it. I also cannot imagine facing life's pressures without the community of the local church I'm just telling you I my heart hurts

For individuals who are not plugged into a church and I can I hear Stories of people who are going through loss through death through a major move through a cancer diagnosis through just some type of major pressure and they aren't tethered to The church to the community of a Bible study group to a small group And I'm like, how are you planning to navigate this in fact right now? I know of a family that's dealing with stuff and they're not plugged into church. So I'm asking a friend It's in our neighborhood. I'm asking her How would they feel if fellowship church just came alongside them to bring some meals to do some? you know prayer over their lives and to make some contact because When we went through our greatest trial, which was Lee Beth passing away We were the recipients of fellowship church. It was the greatest most beautiful thing We could have ever experienced, but I'm telling you it doesn't come with just a Soft And we have at least we have like Bible study classes. Yes couples. We have small groups There's so many and so many different avenues best best There and when these pressures hit because believe me again go back to when Ed and I were 15 He I was 15. He was 14 our sophomore year of high school. He told me we were gonna get married I'm a prophet. Yeah, do you believe that? I still can't believe I started. I know and I I was a little pushback at first, but around college I was like hey remember when you said blah blah blah. I'm kind of ready now So anyway, but back then we weren't thinking about the pressures that we're gonna come We weren't planning for that. We weren't even thinking about oh my goodness You know our relationships is gonna last for a long long long long time No, we were thinking about the here and the now and That's kind of that young and dumb thing, but when God is at the center and you're trusting him He's going to help prepare you along the way and one of the ways He does that is through these times of pressure when you can cling to the one who God has given you as a spouse and Also to those connections and community with your exactly it's beautiful. It's beautiful the fourth tire You have four tires reconciliation reconciliation, and this is a good one to end on because We are

two individual people And we handle conflict Differently just like communication we handle conflict and marriage should be a forgiveness contest Yes, and guys I want to ask you a question and I know it's tough to to be honest because if you're married Your spouse is probably sitting next to you, but Do you find that you ask for forgiveness? Do you find that you apologize more than your wife? It's okay, so we're like only two hands. Yeah And you don't blame you it's hard. No, here's here's my thought. Here's my thought on that We do more more things wrong than than our wives. We do guys. We just we do and You know the Bible tells us as I alluded to earlier that Jesus would love our our wives like Christ loved the church, so Jesus initiated that he initiated reconciliation So even if we are 0.1% wrong, and she's 99.9999999% wrong We are to initiate the reconciliation That's right Ed and I had an interesting Situation this past week don't hate, but yeah, we get into an argument. Okay. Well, I've been decorating for Christmas I know you there's lots of opinions on that, but we have some travel coming up and so My home is completely decorated for Christmas and so I've had ladders out. Yeah, at least there's a ladders best friend I love ladders. She will climb. I'm talking like risk her life And I used to say honey you can't do that. I'll do that. Well, you can't do that and finally, I'm just like No, you've said you can't do that. You've never said I'll do that I mean we're in church. We're gonna be honest. I have said that a couple of times a few times I've said that in our 44 years But here's what I do. Here's what I did. I've done this for years. I just will pay someone It's there you have to celebrate your spouse's gifted this. I Don't want Ed to do the Christmas decorations. That's not his gift I mean he's he has so many gifts handyman is not one of them and Ed is try it's worth every dime for me. So that's been for 44 years. So I just can't do it So I've been working on that could do it. I just it's just sad. Okay, so I well, yeah

So I have been working on this thing around my different our front door And so I hired a young guy that goes fellowship church. His family's been here I've known him since he's been three years old and so his name is Ryan and Ryan came over to he's very handy This guy. He's very handy. And so he's like the husband for hire kind of thing handyman husband for hire Yes better said that's better said and so And I didn't let Ryan get on the ladder because I want to do the stuff But Ryan can hand me. I need to post some of the pictures I've taken of Lisa on ladder Unbelievable, but anyway, that's I need to finish. Okay, so so Ed and I had talked earlier that my that evening. I enjoy pickleball. I really, really enjoy the sport. Ed, not so much. Once I get out there, I enjoy just the thought of it. Like, let's go play pickleball. That's not his thing. So-- But there's a couple-- And you love the game. I do enjoy the game. You love it. I enjoy the game. And I'm falling in love with it, little by little. [LAUGHING] We're in church. Don't forget. Well, it should be every time, you know. Anyway. So there's a couples group that plays in the evening

on this particular day. And so you have to RSVP so they'll know how many courts, all the stuff. So I said to Ed that morning, I said, hey, I got-- I mean, we even have like a pickleball text chain. I said, hey, I just got the text. I'm going to play. Do you want to play? And he had-- And I felt a little pressure. You know, sometimes I'm like, whoa, I need to do this, you know, recreational companionship. You know what I'm saying to you? It's something-- it's good. You know, and you did that for me all the time. I'm thinking, OK, I'll do it. I'll go and play pickleball, you know. OK, so he seemed to have a good attitude. But I did say, hey, I'm RSVPing. So you're going to play, right? He said, oh, yeah, I'm going to play. So this was Monday. And of course, he's very tired after Sunday. You know, it's like your holy hangover day. We call it at our house. And so he comes home late that afternoon. He goes, at least I just am tired. I don't think I'm going to play pickleball. Now, I'm on the ladder by the front door, finishing up so I can go play pickleball with my loving husband

as a couple, with all the other couples. And Ryan, who has been helping me, is somewhere in the foyer, somewhere-- he's not with us. So Ed comes and says, I don't think I'm going to play. I'm really tired. And then he walks inside. So I'm on top of the ladder, stewing, and Ed comes back out. And I said, Ed, I RSVPed. It's going to be embarrassing to the people in the neighborhood. It's going to be embarrassing to me. And you said it just like that. And I said, and here's the kicker. This is where I really got him. I said, I'm going to go fishing with you on Friday. And I'm not going to back out. And I really-- it makes me sad that you're backing out on me. OK. So I didn't realize that within earshot was Ryan. But I realized that after Ed and I were in a conversation with Ryan's father, and Ryan had gone home and said, Dad, Ed and Lisa had this conversation about pickleball. And they were in disagreement. In argument. In argument. About pickleball, very important stuff here. But anyway, he told his dad he goes, I couldn't believe how easily they handled it just by talking to one another. And they ended up getting on the same page.

Now, can I tell you that one of the reasons that it worked so well that day? I knew Ryan was somewhere close by. Yeah, I kind of did, too. And I was-- I mean, I'm thinking to myself, we might have an audience somewhere. So let's do this right. Let's reconcile this. Let's argue this right. Can I just tell you how important reconciliation is? Because we have an audience. God is right there with us. And he knows the conflict. And pickleball is minor. He knows the big stuff. And he cares how we handle it. And as it says in Colossians 3.13, bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone, forgive as the Lord forgave you. Now, there's some marriages hanging by thread right now. And you wonder, is there hope? Reconciliation. It's hard. It's painful. There's some hurt that is so deep. And yet, when we sinned against our great God, Jesus said, there's no sin too great that I will not hold it. me and so now it's available in your relationships and I just I know as we conclude this series on RPMs you know we've had some fun we've had different

cars and all this but the only reason we do this is because we know God sees the potential for the relationships in this room and in every room across the Metroplex and in East Texas that in online he sees the greatness of how marriages can reflect the love of God to the world and that's that's our goal that's what we are all about and you know friends when we regularly check the tires we will discover the kind of RPMs that God wants us to discover would you pray with me father thank you so much for this your church I thank you for every person here I ask your blessings on every child every student every dating relationship every engagement every young married couple every married couple with 2.3 kids single parent families I pray for parents and even grandparents God as we process this this important this this critical content called relationships passion and marriage I thank you for marriage and I thank you for what you've done in our lives and in the lives of so many here at fellowship and if you find yourself here today and you've never received Jesus Christ you can simply give him the keys right now and say Jesus take control of my life you take the wheel I turn from my sins I make a U-turn and I turn to you I give my life to you I want to sit in the co-pilot seat you're driving from this day forward just say that Jesus Christ I believe you down across from my sins I receive you in my life and father I pray that we will never be the same because of this teaching we ask all these things in Jesus name amen. I'm gonna ask no one leaving this is a holy moment we're gonna stand to our feet we're gonna conclude our time together and worship because it all starts with worship maybe there's some things in your heart you realize man I got to work on this in my relationship and my life just right now just us and God just have a time of prayer a time of surrender time of reflection have your way have your way we fix our eyes on you we put you at the center I will build I will build my love upon your love. It is a firm foundation I will put my trust in you and I will not be shaken I will build my love upon your love. It is a firm foundation I will put my trust in you and I will not be shaken I will build who would you lift your voice upon your love. It is a firm foundation I will put my trust in you and I will not be shaken Holy there is no one like you there is gonna be a time to you.

reading in love to those I will build my life upon your love is a firm We put our hope in You, Jesus In the world I will not be shaken We build our lives on Him, a solid rock What a great day to be in the house of God How do you think that you came to church today And listen if you prayed that prayer with Pastor Ed, if you gave your life to Jesus, we love to give you a Bible and a book that we wrote to just help you on your journey So when we dismiss it just a moment over on the sides of the room, our team at the tables, we have a Bible, we have a book and if anybody needs prayer, we'd be honored to pray with you Let's grab our kids, let's go out to the parking lot, have a good time with truck or treat We love you guys and we'll see you back next Sunday, it's going to be a good one, don't visit! [Music]