Ronnie's Testimony

Hello, I'm a great believer in Jesus Christ and I'm celebrating in my recovery over alcoholism. Sometimes I still struggle with doubt and fear. My name is Ronnie. You know, Psalms 107 says, Let the redeemed say so. Let the redeemed of the Lord say so. Those whom he hath redeemed from the hand of the enemy. And I'm here to say that I have been redeemed from the hand of the enemy. I was born in Houston, Texas in 1953 into a good Christian home. My parents loved each other and they raised me and the six of us together to know God and to do right. My dad was a cabinet builder and I followed him in the family business. I accepted Christ as my personal Savior at age 12. It was a powerful and glorious event in my life. I've never doubted his love for me and his presence in my life, even though I strayed from him and even tried to run away from him. At the age of 15, I began to drift away from the Lord, drawn by the lure of playing drums and rock and roll bands and doing all the things that go along with that lifestyle. I wanted to be accepted by that crowd. So I went along with the things that they were doing. I went down the path of sex, drugs, alcohol, and tobacco. I was never really addicted to any drug, even though I tried all drugs that were offered me and I even became a drug dealer at one time. But tobacco and especially alcohol was a different story. I married at the age of 18. When the first of my four children were born, I stopped using drugs and alcohol and got involved in church, because I remember Proverbs 22, 6 says, train up a child in the way he should go, and he will not depart from it. See, my parents did this, and I could never truly deep down inside enjoy sin as others did because of his presence in me, even though I tried to hide from him. I stayed clean for about 14 years, was active in church, teaching and playing in the worship

band, but during the last couple of years of our 18 years of marriage, it began to slowly fall apart. I mistakenly thought I had to work all the overtime I could to make enough money to provide for my family. Instead of trusting God and being a good steward of everything that He blessed me with, this put a major strain on our relationship. My focus shifted away from God to me and my situations. Eventually, this put a major strain on our marriage along with some other issues. Eventually she left me and our four children for another man and his children, but instead of returning to God, I went deep into the bottle. I sank so deep that I came very close to murdering the two of them. He had been my best man at our wedding, but God intervened, and He caused me to realize I had four children to raise. So I stared away from that, and I blamed her completely for this, but after I finished my first step study, I saw that I was not the perfect husband I thought I was, and it helped me to overcome the pain of rejection from her. So we struggled along for the next few years with the help of my family and the well wishes of my ex-wife's family as well. I slowly got emotionally stronger. I went from feeling weak, rejected, worthless, and full of shame to being cold, hard, and calloused through the constant consumption of alcohol. I withdrew further away from God and the people who loved me than I ever had before. I had become a working alcoholic, most of the time just a blur to me now. I did not drink in front of my children, but I was always under the influence of alcohol. They loved me in spite of the way I was. I did never harm them physically or abuse them, but the scars that I inflicted on them through my alcoholism emotionally remain with me today. But Psalms 116.5 says, The Lord is gracious and righteous. Our God is full of compassion.

The Lord protects the simple hearted. When I was in great need, He saved me, and He protected my family through all this time and space. spite of me. Then God sent Sue to me, my wife. She's my partner in the love of my life. We had a lot of things in common regarding our previous marriages, and she had two wonderful girls. So we married, and through some very rough times with our total of six children, we can see that, you know what, they turned out pretty good in spite of us. I was drinking when I met Sue, and I continue to do so. She went to church, but I would not go because I knew I would have to face God there. You see, even though I thought I was living the life I wanted, I was in turmoil inside, empty, unfulfilled, with no sense of purpose. There was this giant hole, empty void in me that only God could fill because it was His rightful place. Sue prayed for me to stop drinking, but I didn't want to. I finally went to church with her, and it happened. I was under so much pressure and conviction, I began a long journey of fighting with God and fighting with myself. See, I really wanted both worlds. I wanted to be thought of as a good Christian, but still be able to be comfortably numb all the time. You see, drinking had become the most important part of my life. I always had two or three bottles stashed conveniently within reach around me, and this progressed into binges of drunkenness and blackouts. I would wake up in places not even knowing how I got there. One night I woke up in my living room wrapped up in a tent. How I got there, how that happened, I do not know. I could tell you a lot more crazy stories, but it wouldn't fulfill any purpose.

Finally, God told my wife to leave me. He said, I'm not talking about getting a divorce. I'm talking about you get out of the way so I can deal with Ronnie. And so it was hard for her to do that. But finally, after a year of struggling with it, she decided to leave because it was so hard for her to live with me in the bottle, even though she was not drinking. Proverbs 3, 11 and 12 says, My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline, and do not resist his view, for the Lord disciplines those he loves, and as a father in the son he delights in. And she moved out, and so began my recovery. At that time, we had a pastor and a counselor in our church that told us something about a program he had heard, didn't know much about. It was called Celebrate Recovery. He suggested she go check it out. So she started going to get help from me. I thought maybe I'll go with her. Maybe I'm trying to make me look good. I didn't want to go. I really didn't want to go. But I knew I had to do something. She said, No, you can't go with me. You see, she didn't trust me, and she didn't want me to mess her recovery up. She had begun her own recovery, so I went to another CR. The first time I went, I didn't even get out of my truck. I sat in the parking lot, so afraid I can't do this. The second time I went, I went in, but I stood against the back wall while they were doing praise and worship. As soon as they turned the lights on, I ran out there so nobody could see me. I was scared to death. The third time I did go in, I stayed, and I went to what we call Newcomers 101.

They explained the program to me, and that was it. Next time I came, I went to OpenShare Group, and there it was that Principle One hit me. Realize I'm not God. I admit that I am powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing, and my life is unmanageable. I realized that I had been in denial all this time, and then something wonderful happened to me. I received the one thing that I needed most in that group, and it was hope. Principle Two says, earnestly believe that God exists, that I matter to Him, and He has the power to help me recover. I believed this, and I finally found a home. No matter how hard I tried, I could not stop drinking, even when I finally decided that I wanted to. You see, I had believed the lie that I would always be an alcoholic, and there was nothing that I could do about it. That was something that I struggled with so much. When I came to Settlement Recovery, I realized that's not true. That's not the way God created me. There is hope. I believe that. He has the power to help me recover. I believe that. I believe that. So there I was in this circle of men in our small group that were just like me. They were desperate for change, wearing no mask, broken, with a real desire for something better in this life, open, honest, and transparent with others to share our deep, dark secrets and struggles without somebody condemning me or trying to fix me. Man, I felt I was a part of something that was bigger than me, that was bigger than my struggles, and that was a relationship that I didn't have with Jesus Christ. So that night, I surrendered all that I knew how to surrender, and I went to every meeting.

I got into a step study. Slowly God began to change me as I prayed daily, studied the Bible, and worked the steps. Life was getting better. First Corinthians 10.12 says, So if you think you're standing firm, be careful that you don't fall. And I said, I got this. I began to sip a little on the side, thinking I could handle alcohol. I could not. Galatians 6.7 says, Do not be deceived. God is not mocked. A man reaps what he sows, and I was mocking God. So I wound up in jail that night with a DWI. It was truly a miracle that I didn't have a wreck. It was raining, and it was as if God reached down, grabbed the hose of my pickup with His hand, and slid it through a ditch, around a telephone pole, and just short of a fence. That was a total miracle. David said in Psalms 1.19.71, It was good for me to be afflicted, that I might learn your decrees. There I was in jail, curled up in a fetal position under that concrete bench. I was broken, and I surrendered all to Him. That was May 15, 2012. That was the first day of my sobriety, and it was necessary for me to go through all of that. I learned the importance of having a sponsor and a group of accountability partners. Without them, I would not be here today. In 2012, Sue and I began to sense God calling us to start a Celebrate Recovery at our church. We prayed for months. We went to many one-day training sessions and the very first East Coast Summit. We started Celebrate Recovery at our church in January 2013. God has done so many wonderful things in us, in us personally, in our relationship, and

so many wonderful things that He's allowed us to be involved in. We served as ministry leaders there for ten years, and I now serve as a training coach. In 2022, God opened the door, the privilege of me, to serve Him and Celebrate Recovery inside. That was a wonderful experience. It is now. I get to co-lead with another great leader. Life's Healing Choice Groups we do. We do the large group sessions in our prison, and it's just amazing. It's an honor and a privilege to witness God transforming men by the renewing of their minds through the lessons of Celebrate Recovery, the hope and encouragement through the testimonies that we share there. Shortly after that, we were able to start Angel Tree in our church. Angel Tree is one of the most rewarding endeavors that we're involved in. We work on that year-round. Some of the many benefits that I received in Christ through CR in working the steps and principles are freedom from alcoholism, hope—I did not have hope. I got hope in CR, true rest where I could relax and not be looking over my shoulder all the time, eternal inner peace in that rest, a deeper knowledge and a desire to know God, to understand His nature and His character, many restored relationships that I had torn apart in my alcoholism, and just a sense of purpose for my life. I know who I am in Christ. I know what He has for me to do. I want you to know that there's hope in Jesus Christ. God has the power to change you, whatever struggle you're in, wherever you are right now. God loves you just where you are. John 3, verse 316, a familiar verse we all know, For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son. But this is the part I want you to get, that whoever believes in Him will not perish but

have everlasting life. It says whoever believes in Him. That means everybody. That means you. He died for you. No, we care about you at Celebrate Recovery. You're not alone in your struggles. We all have struggles. I'm not perfect, and I won't be until Christ returns, but He is at work in me, and He wants to work in you. My scripture that seems to resonate with me more than anything right now is Philippians 1.6. It says, being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it out to completion. Keep coming back. Thanks for letting me share.