ReGen Psalm 69 Lamenting

are a new creation. You are a child of God. You are free from sin. You're one with Christ. You're created for good works. You're victorious. You're no longer a slave. You're accepted. You're healed. You're surrounded by God's mercy. You're beautiful. You're not alone. You're strong. You're blessed. You're special to God. You're fearfully and wonderfully made, and you're God's beloved. Really? That was awesome. My name is Jeff. I have a new life in Christ. Shame of a divorce being an executive pastor. Control tendencies. I would try to medicate any way possible to get through the anxiety. Sins of self-protection and cynicism. So welcome. Tonight I'm going to be a little longer on the introduction. I want to say hello first to Independence Campus, then to Crossover. Crossover will officially be launching their leadership groups working right now, January 2027. Tipton Correctional Facility, shout out to you when you're listening, and I'm looking forward to August 31st. I'm going to be out there in person and preach, so I'm excited about that. But tonight, and Lee Summit, here we go. Johnson County. And it is their commencement, and this is kind of like an answer to prayer. So if you're here tonight, that you will be commencing tonight, would you go ahead and stand up? Johnson County, give yourself a hand. So I'm gonna do something a little different. Go ahead, have a seat. Excited for you. We're gonna have a ceremony afterwards. I'd ask Jared and Holly to stand. Where are you at? All right. And he loved this. Before he said, is any way you could give some attention to me? Because Jared's all about that. All right, you go ahead, sit down. So here's the deal. Jared used to sit right here. Launched, went through region, went through leadership training, and as we multiply campuses, we want to see region multiplied. And this isn't to exalt him. He wouldn't like that at all. He's not into that. But he is a man, a couple here, and they would follow what the Lord would have them to do. And this is one thing I love about region, and whether this is your first night, or you're in inventory, or you're gonna be commencing, or you're in the leadership training, the church is about equipping people to do the work of the ministry. He's not staff. He doesn't get paid. But he's leading region at Johnson County. All right. And regions, you know, after you're done with it, you complete, you commence, and all that, we want you to continue to follow the Lord. Not everyone needs to stay a part of the region ministry. But there is an invitation, and we want to help equip you to multiply this ministry, to see what God can do in other people's lives. And that's exciting. So, Jared, Ollie, thank you for the sacrifice. Thank you for the investment. See what God has done. And, you know, I don't know

what God's plan is out there at Johnson County, but I tell you what, I can see huge crowds out at Johnson County in that area being delivered. And that's going to be exciting. So, anyway. All right. So, I always get the psalm assigned to me by Jonathan I'm going to talk about. So, I'm going to go through this quickly. But it just so happened, I'm studying lamenting this week. So, Jonathan says, hey, your psalm is Psalm 69. So if you're Bible, I'm just gonna pick it a few verses, but I get to talk about sadness. If you know me, do I like sadness? I do. I'm not good at hyping people up. I'm not good at the promo. You know, they've never asked me once to emcee anything around here. You know, like, no, that ain't never happened. So I like it. But I'll say this, I'm not all that expressive. And I grew up in a tradition of faith, even like now, singing a lot, raising your hands, things like that, I grew up in a very stoic, cerebrial kind of church approach, okay? Now, if you're, no judgment on denominations, but I grew up Baptist, and my mom and my uncle worked at Assemblies of God headquarters. And I always thought Baptists were more right, but I always thought the Assemblies of God loved Jesus more, so I'm just saying when I go through it. But I always remember being kind of judgmental of that expression, so I'm gonna talk tonight about this. And it's a fun night, it's gonna be celebratory, but I would be remiss if I did not recognize a lot of us.

We're in a lot of pain, we're in a lot of sadness. Like, no one comes in here to read you in. Why are you here? You know, just like, you know, watch other people. Spy, you know, like Fight Club, the beginning of that movie, you know, it's like that. No, we're usually here because there's a problem. Something's not working out. It's usually bringing us anger, fear, or sadness. So Psalm 69, one through three, this is the verse I'm gonna read and three others. And it's in the Bible, what we call a lament. And I'll define that in a second. But it's an expression of sadness. And it says this, save me, O God, for the waters have come up to my neck, where there is no standing. I've come into deep waters where the floods overflow me. I'm weary with my crying. My throat is dry. My eyes fail while I wait for God. It's kind of the image of drowning, but it's kind of weird. Some translation, it says the mire, like the mud. It's like you're stuck in mud and the water's going up and up to the point you're like that. And to be honest, that's a lot of where we find ourselves when we come to read you. You know why? Because we will do everything we can not to come to a region.

And that's what this psalm is about. Now, I can't actually give the illustration of where would this happen. It seems like some James Bond movie where they're trying to kill him. I don't know where you are, where you're stuck in mud in the waters. But the image is you're to the point where you're gonna go under. And so the only illustration I have, it's really dumb, but I went water rafting with three friends one time. We were all in college. We got to a place where the guy said, hey, do you want to swim the rapid? And there was my three friends. Now, you know, we got life vests on and he's not gonna do something where we drown. He didn't want to see that happen, but he just said, hey, you want to jump out and swim the rapid? I got one of my friends who's like an Eagle Scout back in the day and the other two were there. And so they all jump in. I jump in with them. There was something that separated me from my friends. They can all swim. Now, I'm not like they can't swim at all. I can trot around. I'm not gonna die usually. But you know what?

When you're swimming a rapid, you got to kind of know how to swim. And I remember literally, this is my mind. The water's going over and I'm not that strong and they're just swimming on. And I think, I'm gonna drown out here. And I literally remember being scared, but this is me, it won't surprise you. And then I thought how stupid that I just jumped in when I was gonna think I was gonna swim and I couldn't. And here's what I want to tell you. And here's the analogy. The analogy is he feels like he's gonna go under and he won't come back up. That's a depth of fear and sadness that you can relate to, depending on what you're going through. I remember being scared. I remember doing whatever I was gonna do that looked like swimming that I just did it stronger. I'll do everything not to go under, but I felt like I was. Now, why do I spend so much time on the emotion? It has to do with pain. So the question for you tonight is simply this. What will I do with my pain? Okay? This is gonna be short, but that's the question you really have to ask. So I got some things up here,

I think on a slide that we would do. We'll go through these quickly. This isn't like, you know, this big drawn out thing. First of all, we do distraction. And we usually do distraction through dopamine. And so a lot of times people will say they're addicted to things, but they're not really addicted. Now, I know this is kind of semantics like this, but if you're here, if it's fentanyl. It's an opioid, nicotine, alcohol. Those are truly addictive in every sense of the word, chemically, and there's a withdrawal period, fair enough? And sometimes to get rid of our pain, we go to addictions or medications, fair enough? But I wanna talk more specifically about distraction. So somebody would say, well, you have a gambling addiction or a porn addiction or an eating addiction. And I get what they're saying, and there's nothing wrong with that because you can be in captivity to those things. Here's what I'm gonna tell you. It's not really technically an addiction. It's a distraction. And you do these things because you get a dopamine hit, all right? And I'm not saying it's not powerful, but the reality is we usually enjoy all of those things. So if I'm looking at pornography, the dopamine hit is what rewards me for it. Now, granted, I enjoy it and I like it,

but I'll keep going back to the dopamine hit. If it's something on your phone, if it is gambling, if it's any of these things, literally, just understand this, we are trying to distract ourselves. You can say from God, from a lot of things, and I don't wanna spend too much time on this, but oftentimes, rather than deal with the pain in a way that will bring healing, we want to distract ourself from the pain. And dopamine's not a bad thing. It's a blessing of God. It makes me enjoy things, and there's a lot of good things you can do and get that dopamine. But if you're using it to distract yourself from God, community, or dealing with the pain, it won't work. It won't work. What else? Medicate, compartmentalize it. That's where we kind of take it over. This is this area of my life, and to some degree, I just stick it over there so I don't have to deal with it. We minimize pain. The issue is we don't admit. It's not that we don't admit we hurt. We don't admit how much it's hurt. It's like you're sitting in a group

and you name something, and it would be something significant, and you would say, yeah, that kind of hurt, and you go right on. What you're doing is minimizing it rather than what? Going to deal with it. Finally, we'll blame other people for the pain. Like I always say, I copied this off of Henry Cloud, but I love the quote, blames the drug we take to feel good that ruins our lives. So rather than deal with the pain and how I respond and all of those things, I'm stuck with I just blame all the time. We deny it or we spiritualize it, and that's kind of like the, you know, put a silver lining around it. Well, you know, I won't use it for emphasis. I won't keep it kind of light tonight, but something real bad. Well, you know, God's just working in that, threw me in that, and you quote a verse, and it's like there's no sense of feeling what you feel. So the question I'm asking tonight is what am I distracting myself from? So here's why this gets harder, and I'll share this and we'll be done. This is a prayer of lament. So I'm gonna give you my definition of a lament. It's kind of long, but here we go. A lament is an emotional expression of our pain.

We lament when we give voice to our grief, sorrow, questions, anger, and distress before God. I do love this ministry. You wanna know why? I talk for 10 minutes, and then you go to a group and talk for an hour. Will you give voice to your anger, your questions, your sorrow, and there's no way you look at lament in the Bible without it being an emotional expression. I had to learn that. It didn't come naturally for me. In fact, I would look at other people who would lament, and I would think if they were overly emotional, I don't wanna be like that. I just would, and it worked well in my life until the divorce. But here's the problem. I'm gonna read three verses from this lament. I'll give you something happy at the end, I promise. Dave is lamenting. He feels like he's drowning, and in Psalm 69, 10, he says this. When I wept and chastened my soul with fasting, he's actually lamenting. That became my reproach. Ouch. Meaning when he was hurting so bad, he finally would lament. People mocked him for the fact he lamented.

The next one, Psalm 69, 11. I also made sackcloth my garment. It was a way they would grieve and mourn. He says, I'm gonna put sackcloth on. I'm gonna be intentional about lamenting. I'm gonna be intentional about grief. And it says, I became a bystander. My word to them. Finally, in verse 12, those who sit in the gate speak against me, and I am the song of the drunkards. Here's the hardest thing about doing a region. You would think the whole world would cheer you and go, good job, and here they do. But for the most part, what looks like weakness when you're expressive about your pain, when you're a man and you're in a group and for the first time you're saying this is how much it hurt, okay, and you're vulnerable with it, and you pour out your heart to God in expressive ways you wouldn't have thought about ever doing in your life, the psalmist says, they came after me for that as well. It wasn't just I was hurting in pain. The way I expressed the pain was open season. So here's the encouragement, and this is kind of personal, but I'll say this. You gotta go through the lament and the pain to get to the end of the Psalms with the rejoicing and the healing.

You just do. So here it is tonight. In my divorce, I grew up in church, and I'm a pastor. I know what I need to sound like to look like I'm healing. I'm trusting God. There's a plan. I know things are going well. I would say the things I would think everyone wanted to want. Here. So I'm still working at the place, and I would do that. Then I would go into my office, and eventually the pain was too much, and I just bawled. But I was so ashamed of being so weak, I kept that to myself. But that pain is a gift from God to draw you to him. And he was gonna outweigh all of my cognitive reasoning, projection, manipulation, church speak, until I was so broken, I would cry to him. That is what he wanted. So where's the cheering part? And I've shared this before. I remember setting in an apartment. I'm living by myself for the first time, and I'm just crying. It doesn't matter where it is, but I look at this neighborhood. It's in Lee's Summit, and I would think,

I really like that neighborhood. But I had no vision that that's ever my life. I wasn't suicidal, but if I'd have found out I had cancer, I'd have probably cheered. I don't know, 15 years later, I live in that neighborhood, remarried, wife, grandchildren, very happy. Now, it's not like there's a fairytale ending. I'm not trying to sell that. But I knew this. I wasn't gonna find the blessing. I wasn't gonna find the relationships. I wasn't gonna get to encounter God until I would go to the lament and cry out to him. And I had to die to myself, especially as a guy. I had to die to myself enough to say, I'm this broken. God doesn't meet you where you pretend to be. God meets you where you really are. And this isn't to manufacture something. You know, I don't know how to teach you to lament. But I know this. Don't be in denial distracting yourself. Don't be in denial medicating yourself. And don't be in denial putting up a facade. Be honest with your emotions, pouring them out to God, with the community here that will cheer you on. And trust the blessing to come from God, okay? That's the encouragement. All right, Bruce Gibbs, where are you at? Come up tonight for our testimony.

All right, Bruce Gibbs, where are you at? Come up tonight for our testimony. Well, good evening, Regen. Well, good evening, Regen. My name is Bruce and I have a new life in Christ. My name is Bruce and I have a new life in Christ. And I love Mondays. And I love Mondays. I'm recovering from sins of fear, worry, anxiety, control issues, and holding on to resentments. Back in 1978, I was halfway through college. I was drinking, I was a partier, I was not a good student. I was not on the right path. I realized then that in my own power, my life was unmanageable. So in 1979, I was in my 20s. I confess that Jesus is Lord. I believed in my heart that God raised him from the dead. I was saved. I followed through a baptism. Now I'm gonna fast forward to Thanksgiving of 2022. Over the years, fear, worry, and anxiety, it had taken its toll. Big problems gripped with fear and worry over even little problems. Thanksgiving 2022, I was dealing with two big business problems. Is this gonna work out? I see no way that this is gonna work out. Sunday morning after Thanksgiving,

all the relatives left our house early that morning. Chad Glover preached a sermon. He compared leprosy to anxiety. Leprosy was a serious sickness back in the day. It could cost people their lives. And twice in that sermon, Chad said that anxiety is also a serious sickness. It could cost you your life. At that moment, I realized I need to take this serious, otherwise this is gonna get me, this is gonna kill me. It's taken its toll on my wife, my family, so immediately I took the first step to admit that I needed help. I showed up at Regen on a Monday night. I called Abundant Life Counseling. I needed both. It was out of desperation. I was committed to go through whatever pain and effort it would take to go through this recovery. I graduated a few years back, but every day I still have to practice the steps of Regen, starting with admitting that I am powerless over my addictions, brokenness, and sinful patterns, that in my own power, my life was, it's still unmanageable. I relate to the Apostle Paul. I know that nothing good dwells in me that isn't my flesh. I have the desire to do what's right, but not the ability to carry it out, Romans 7, 18. I'll admit in my life I have drank to get drunk. I've looked at things I shouldn't have.

Thankfully, those things lost their grip on me because I admitted those sinful patterns to my wife years ago. Sinful patterns thrive in the darkness of secrecy, but when I confess to God, myself, and to my wife the exact nature of drinking too much or looking at porn on cable TV, it's stopped those sins from being an addiction. So today, why do I have to admit that I'm power over my addictions? Because after going through the first three steps of Regen and then step four, which is inventory, the first two inventories were resentments and fear. After working through those first two inventories, it was my testimony to the guys in my group. I was the most jacked up person in the room. I held onto resentments like a drunk would hold onto a bottle. Resentments had a stronghold on me. It led to bitterness and unforgiveness. This is a serious sin problem. The resentments in my life got me stuck in patterns of behavior, including anger that turned to rage, or on the other hand, just being despondent, checked out like a zombie with my wife and my family, especially during holidays, but there was more to unpack. In my Regen group, some of the guys opened up about struggles going back to their family of origin and having issues with their dads.

I thought to myself, I don't have issues with my dad. My dad was my greatest cheerleader. I came from a good family and my mom and dad loved me. During Regen teaching time, Jeff Cox often quoted the Bible verse spoken by Jesus, "'You shall know the truth "'and the truth shall set you free,' John 8, 32." Yes, the Bible is God's word and is the truth, but Jeff Cox also explained that truth is reality. Deal with reality and it will set you free. But I'll add, Jeff, that reality may make you miserable in the short term. Good families are broken. Thankfully, my mom and dad taught me at a very early age that I could talk to them about my personal struggles, but other things in the family history were not discussed. It was Memorial Day, 2023, and I'm about halfway through Regen. We took a family trip to several small towns in Southern Illinois. I learned about our family's history going back four generations that were not discussed in the family. They included things so tragic, sad, including the suicide of my great-grandfather. And as I came to understand just in recent years, my grandmother was not allowed to talk about it. Therefore, she couldn't get the help that she needed. you needed. This all contributed to family history

gripped with fear, worry, anxiety, and depression. If we don't know history, we will repeat the mistakes from the past. And I found this to be true about family history. I thought frequenting bars after work was an okay way to relax. It was just a part of building business relationships. I thought my outburst of anger by throwing, even breaking golf clubs over bad golf shots was, it's not that bad. It was just associated with me being fiercely competitive. I thought fear and worry about money that led to outburst of anger was normal. I needed a new normal. Learning about my family's history helped me to take inventory of my unhealthy responses, which led to confession and repentance, and by the power of the Holy Spirit, more healthy responses. Through regen and counseling, I uncovered many things in my own life, which once uncovered led to confession, repentance, making amends, forgiveness, and hopefully, hopefully, reconciliation with others. But that requires both parties to take responsibility. If reconciliation doesn't happen with others, I learned that I can still forgive and love others, and I also learned how to set healthy boundaries. About a month before graduating from regen, my circumstances in life became much harder.

My elderly mother broke her hip. Dad's dementia became very apparent. My dad was diagnosed with stage four terminal cancer. Enormous business challenges unfolded. Dad passed away. That's just the tip of the iceberg. Thankfully, I went through regen before life got really crazy. Regen was life-changing for me. Prior to regen, fear, worry, and anxiety would lead to outburst of anger. I would stay stuck for days, weeks, and months. I recall an incident with a business partner. I stayed angry and bitter, and I couldn't let it go. Thankfully, after six months, another business partner that reported to me, he had the courage to call me on it. Upon graduation from regen, I wrote the 12 steps in the biblical foundations on note cards, and I began memorizing them word for word. Through regen and counseling, I learned to recognize early warning signs or triggers. I would feel it in my chest, and that would prompt me to pray through these biblical steps of regen, and through the power of the Holy Spirit, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, I no longer stay stuck in these sinful patterns of holding on to resentments. The motivation of staying the course with regen and a dogged determination to never give up was driven by a strong motivation to be a better husband

and have a better marriage, and instead of passing on to my grandkids fear, worry, anxiety, depression, resentments, bitterness, and unhealthy responses to anger, which dwell in my flesh, by the supernatural power of the Holy Spirit that dwells in all who believe in Jesus, I'm motivated to pass on to future generations the fruit of the Spirit, Galatians 5, 22 through 25, but the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. During Thanksgiving 2022, my daughter, my son-in-law, my three grandkids were at our house. I sucked it up for the grandkids, but fear, worry, and anxiety was constant, it was chronic. How have things changed today? Just over the past month, well, I had more unexpected responsibilities in my business, yet I learned and completed those additional responsibilities with joy, while also traveling to Colorado to bring our three grandkids to our house, they call it their Missouri vacation, and other than 15 minutes, other than 15 minutes for a week, I was fully present with my grandkids and my wife. Thanks to Regen, I wasn't that guy 3 1⁄2 years ago, so that is just a little glimpse about how today I have. have a new life in Christ. Thank you, everybody.