Re:Gen Psalm 56 Anxiety

Amen, amen. How we all doing tonight? Good to see you guys. My name is Trevor. Nice to meet you all. We're going to begin our time tonight just by worship and Jesus to invite everyone to raise their hands. Just open their hearts. Get ready for the Lord to move. Lord Jesus, we desire you above all else. So Lord, would you move and would you inhabit the praises of your people tonight? It's in Jesus' name, we pray. Amen, let's do it. [MUSIC PLAYING] Lord, you say you need a mark in the mercy that you've shown. Lord, you change me. Not by works, but grace do fake alone. You retain me, the old is gone, my life has been made new. Lord, you free me, these chains are breaking all because of you, because of you, thou will not boast in anything. I hope alone in Christ my King. Not by saying, not by mine, just the cross of Jesus Christ. I will not boast in anything, make it Jesus. [MUSIC PLAYING] Lord, you save me, your praise rewrote the story of my life. Lord, you gave me love and joy and peace. You've been so kind, you sustained me. I'll testify of all you brought me through. You're so amazing, my future is secure, because of you,

because of you, thou will not boast in anything. My hope alone in Christ my King. Not by saying, not by mine, just the cross of Jesus Christ. I will not boast in anything, by grace do fake. I have been saved, by grace do fake. I have been saved, come on, by grace do fake. I have been saved, by grace do fake. I'll never be the same, by grace do fake. I have been saved, by grace do fake. I'll never be the same. I will not boast in anything. My hope alone in Christ my King. Not by saying, not by mine, just the cross of Jesus Christ. I will not boast in anything. I will not boast in anything. I will not boast in anything. Hallelujah. Oh, it's all because of Jesus. Come on, let's have some faithfulness tonight. Hallelujah. [APPLAUSE] [MUSIC PLAYING] Jesus, we're thankful we can trust you, isn't it? So we sing this out. Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine, and He's been my fourth man in them. Born of His Spirit Washed in His blood And what He did for me on Calvary was more than enough I trust in God, my Savior, the one who will never fail

He will never fail I trust in God, my Savior, the one who will never fail He will never fail Perfect submission All is out of it I know the offer of you, my love, slaughtered my sins This is my story This is my song Frazed in my risen King and Savior All of the day of love I trust in God, my Savior, the one who will never fail Who will never fail He will never fail I trust in God, my Savior, the one who will never fail He will never fail Oh, no My God, you'll never fail I saw the Lord in your answer In your answer That's why I trust in I saw the Lord in your answer I saw the Lord in your answer I saw the Lord in your answer That's why I trust in Him That's why I trust in Him I saw the Lord in your answer I saw the Lord in your answer I saw the Lord in your answer That's why I trust in Him

That's why I trust in Him I saw the Lord in your answer I saw the Lord in your answer I saw the Lord in your answer That's why I trust in Him That's why I trust in God My Savior, the one who will never fail He will never fail I trust in God Oh, Savior, the one who will never fail He will never fail From the sick of Lord tonight I saw the Lord in your answer I saw the Lord in your answer I saw the Lord in your answer That's why I trust in Him ♪ And He heard, and He answered ♪ ♪ I saw the Lord, and He heard, and He answered ♪ ♪ I saw the Lord, and He heard, and He answered ♪ ♪ That's why I trust Him, that's why I trust Him, God ♪ ♪ Oh, I trust the Lord, 'cause you heard me ♪ ♪ 'Cause you heard, and He will never fail ♪ ♪ And I trust the Lord, and I trust the Lord ♪ Let's sing this out. ♪ My Savior, You're the One who will ♪ ♪ He will never fail ♪ ♪ I trust in God, My Savior, the One ♪ ♪ Who will never fail ♪ ♪ He will never fail ♪ Hallelujah!

(audience applauds) (gentle guitar music) (gentle guitar music) (gentle guitar music) ♪ I hope He spilled for nothing less ♪ ♪ In Jesus' blood and righteousness ♪ ♪ I dare not trust the sweetest friend ♪ ♪ The holy name on Jesus' name ♪ ♪ Oh Christ, the silent rock I say ♪ ♪ Oh, love the ground ♪ ♪ He's seeking sin ♪ ♪ Oh, love the ground ♪ ♪ He's seeking sin ♪ (gentle guitar music) ♪ When darkness feels a lovely face ♪ ♪ I rest on His unchanging grace ♪ ♪ In every highest storm He gave ♪ ♪ My anchor holds within the rail ♪ ♪ Oh, Christ, the silent rock I say ♪ ♪ Oh, love the ground ♪ ♪ He's seeking sin ♪ ♪ Oh, love the ground is seeking sin ♪ ♪ Hallelujah ♪ ♪ It's only by your name, Jesus ♪ ♪ It's all this covenant is blood ♪ ♪ So for me in the willman flood ♪ ♪ When all around my soul gives way ♪ ♪ He is among my hope and stay ♪ ♪ Oh, Christ, the silent rock I say ♪ ♪ Oh, love the ground is seeking sin ♪

♪ Oh, love the ground is seeking sin ♪ ♪ Oh, love the ground is seeking sin ♪ ♪ Oh, love the ground is seeking sin ♪ ♪ This is the best part of this song ♪ ♪ When He shall come with strongness sound ♪ ♪ Oh, may I bend in Him me found ♪ ♪ Trust in His righteousness alone ♪ ♪ All ends to stand before the throne ♪ ♪ Oh, Christ, the silent rock I say ♪ ♪ Oh, love the ground is seeking sin ♪ # On Christ the starly rock I stand # # All other ground is sinking sin # # All other ground is sinking sin # # All other ground is sinking sin # # Alleluia # # Christ the Lord # # When he shall jump with his trumpet sound # # Ooh # # Just in his righteousness alone # # Forless you stand before your throne # # On Christ the starly rock I stand # # All other ground is sinking sin # # All other ground is sinking sin # # On Christ the starly rock I stand # # All other ground is sinking sin # # All other ground is sinking sin # # And that is why he is worthy # # No matter what comes our way, no matter what the world throws at us, no matter what the enemy throws at us, no matter what our own shortcomings throw at us, we can rest assured that Jesus is our solid rock that shall not be shared. # No matter what comes our way, no matter what the world throws at us, no matter what the enemy throws at us, no matter what our own shortcomings throw at us, we can rest assured that Jesus is our solid rock that shall not be shaken. That is worthy of our celebration, that's worthy of our joy, that's worthy of our attention tonight.

So Lord Jesus, we declare it again, you are our solid rock, you are our solid rock. And no matter what we came in here tonight carrying, we can put our faith and our trust in you for all things, that you are working all things together for our good and for your glory. So Jesus, we trust you, we fix our eyes and our ears and our minds and our hearts to you tonight. And Lord, we just pray that you make us ready for what you have for us tonight, your children are listening. So come and have your way tonight. In Jesus name, amen. Good to be with you all tonight. It's going to be a great night, you all can have a seat. [Music] [Music] [Music] How you doing Regen? [Applause] That was a tough game. [Laughter] There wasn't a game. All right, I'll be moving on. It was Jeff New life in Christ, shame from a divorce leading to control tendencies, trying to control that cynicism. But one thing I experienced during that time with anxiety, so tonight is Psalm 56 on an anxiety. So I want to begin with a couple of illustrations. First, I've got a granddaughter approaching 14. I call her a Punky Jane. And oftentimes she'll self-die dose herself. Too much access to the internet. Too much access to friends. And it's funny, and she knows I'm a counselor. I've told jokes before. She has said before me this is play day, grandpa not counseling day, so she knows the scoop. But she'll say, "Well, I'm this, this and this." Like before she tries out for something and she'll go, "And then she'll diagnose herself with anxiety."

And I'll go, "That's not anxiety. I know I'm a doctor. You're just nervous." And then she goes, "You're not a real doctor." But anyway, so that's, I'm not making that up. That is true. So there is the over-extreme, I want to say this before I jump into anxiety. Because I want to approach it, both scripturally I want to do adequate due diligence to the text. And at the same time, there's a counselor side of me that I think a lot of times we are raising that are normal that you're going to encounter in life are not diagnosable things. You are going to have a certain amount of sadness. You're certainly going to have a certain amount of depression in this life. That's what God created you. And to be honest, you're going to have fear because God gave you fear so you don't die. It is fear that keeps you from walking out of the traffic. It is fear that keeps you from getting too close to a ledge and falling. It is fear that keeps you from reaching out to pet the copperhead. That is fear, okay? And you have to have some of that. But I remember after my divorce when I felt my life was falling apart, I was driving to get a haircut over an overland park and I had a panic attack. Now here's what I want to say. I had at council a lot of people that had them. I knew people that had them. I had never had one. So I have all this information and all of this education and counseling and the physiological approach and even treatments. But I can remember shortness of breath feeling like a heart attack. And I had enough self-awareness I stopped in the parking lot where I was getting my haircut before I pulled up close to where I was going to go in the front door. And I remember saying this is a panic attack. And then I just laid my hands in my lap because it was one of the most debilitating, horrible feelings in the world because I couldn't stop it. I wouldn't get a quarter verse. I wasn't going to apply something. I wasn't going to put some psychological theorem in practice. I just laid my hands in my lap and I knew enough to know I won't die. So I really heart attack. But I also knew this. I couldn't turn it off. I couldn't stop it. Now I don't know how long it was. It seemed like a long time. And I get that scientifically hell on. They usually last. But I knew this. I couldn't keep it from happening. So here's

the difficulty with anxiety. I don't want to approach it this way because I think there's a lot of sermons and people hear a lot of things in church and there's no way that someone could really explain how to apply it because here's the reality. If you could stop having anxiety, you would. It'd be the shortest region ever. Step 1, stop being anxious. Wow. Thanks Lord. You'd walk out and give a testimony. But when you know it, it's like somebody telling you to stop being something and here's the deal. It works both ways. If I were to say to you, start being anxious right now. You couldn't do that either. I mean, these are physiological things that are happening here. But be anxious. I mean, you could act anxious. But you just couldn't turn it on. And so when you see the Bible approach things like this, I want to give it some thought. Okay? So Psalm 56 verses 1 and 2, I'm going to give you the context because it's a funny story, which also brings up something else. I'll get to it in a second. So here's the context. Psalm 56 verses 1 and 2, David's writing this. He says, "Be merciful to me, O God, for man would swallow me up." He's scared. He's running. All day he oppresses me. "My enemies would hound me all day, for there are many who fight against me almost high." So the context is this. Twice in David's life, he's like running from somebody chasing him. Later in his life is his son, Absalom. But here is Saul. Saul was the first king. David comes along later. There's jealousy. Saul wants to kill him. But this is a real fear. And this is important before we talk about it. But here's the context. Number one, Saul is pursuing David. Okay? This is real. This is someone really trying to kill him. Number two, David flees to gas. David is recognized by the king of gas, Aikish, who's a Philistine. So here we go. David pretends he is insane. So Aikish will dismiss him rather than treat him like an enemy. Now, here's where this gets complicated. This is the deeper things of the Bible. No one really, like if I'm just preaching Psalm 56, I can just pretay you don't be afraid, I will. But if I'm over there in Samuel and I'm talking about David running from Saul and I get to that, I can show you know, David's really liking his flesh pretending he's insane. You see, what does he do? He pretends he's irrational. He pretends he's like clawing on posts and he salivates over his beard. That's what he's doing. He's trying to get out of getting killed. Now, as long as I preach those separately, that's a good message. But someone out there is going to thank, wait a second, preacher. You said David is praying Psalm 56 when he's running from

Saul when he goes to gas. Yeah, I said that. And you also said he's acting like he's insane. Yeah, I said that too. How can David be praying? He's trying to Why don't you shut up and tithe? No, you just don't get it. So here's it is. Okay, and I'm just trying to be real with you. And there's no answer. But here's what you're going to see. Sometimes you'll see overcoming fear of somebody just trusting the Lord. But sometimes when somebody's overcoming fear, they're still trying to do everything they can not to get what killed. Like Saul's trusting the Lord and he's being sneaking out of a city, jumping over a wall so he doesn't get what killed. Jesus doesn't want to die before his time going to the cross. But sometimes he goes into solitude. And I'm not saying he's like running away, but he likes takes precautions not to get what killed. So before you're too hard on yourself that you're not some big giant. I want to say in your region group tonight, if you feel some pressure and you act like you're insane, you're in a safe place, okay? So what happens here and how does this work? So here, I want to prove the point. In Psalm 56, 3a and 4b, it's two verses. This is in the same Psalm, David says this. Whenever I am afraid, I will not fear.

I mean, that's what it says. You can just look at the verses and put them together. When I'm afraid, I will not want fear. So the reality is there is this tension in the Bible, and I think we do one or two things. We either tell you not to have an emotion that to be honest, you really can't and shouldn't control happening. Having, does that make sense? And you got to do that. Or hey, everyone's afraid, everyone has anxiety. You know, take some medication, go see a counselor, don't worry about it. That's not helpful either. Somebody give you, I didn't take the time to put these in the slides, but I'll say this. If you go to church long enough, the most famous passage on fear is in Philippians 4, and the Apostle Paul is writing the letter and he says, be anxious for nothing. Go do it. It's in Ephesians 4, all right? Two chapters earlier, same letter he's writing, there's a guy named Epaphroditus that came to Saul. Saul had realized he had become sick. The church in Philippi, the Philippians were worried about him. And Paul literally says this, I want to send him back to you so I can be less anxious. I'm not making this up, same book. So when you hear people preaching this like, you just got to be anxious for nothing. Paul didn't forget two chapters earlier.

He says, I need to do this, so I'll be what? Less anxious. Unless you think he's a hypocrite, that's not the best approach, the best approach is, how could I have something workable in my life to deal with anxiety? Now, why should we deal with anxiety? So I would just tell you, the data shows, it was probably about over 10 to 15 years ago. The number one people had come to counseling for was always depression. It got taken over by anxiety. Anxiety is the number one reason are the different things, different diagnosis that people come to. A lot of you are in region and it might not be the only thing you're struggling with, but it's part of it. Now, I don't want to go off track here, but there's been a lot of research done in 2012, 2013. We quit having flip phones and these are digital. And so my grandchildren grew up in a completely digital world. I remember the mobile phone was just a big, long cord that I could wrap around. I met old, and then I remember when I used to repossess cars, that's a different story. They gave me my first mobile phone in the field. It was like that big. I mean, it was huge. I remember that. And then I remember the flip phones that weren't digital. They're about 2012, 2013, man, it took off. We live in a digital world. There's no doubt in my mind that leads to a lot of anxiety because we're all addicted to them. Well, the younger generation is addicted to them like you are too, okay?

And that's the reality. So all of a sudden, it is a big deal. So I want to give you a definition between fear and anxiety. I know there's overlap, but here we go. Fear is an emotion. It's a feeling. Anxiety grows and is focused, meaning you think. Here we go. Anxiety is most always focused on the future. It's not what's happening right now. And it narrows our attention to situations and possible negative emotions. This is a simple illustration. Everyone uses this. So I apologize if you've heard it before. If I'm going on a walk and there's a snake and I see the snake and I'm like, not some snake expert. I'm not. I'm not going to borrow your poison or so not. Here's the reality. When I see that snake, that's something in front of me that's fear. That's different than I'm out for a walk, and there's a field in front of me, like I'm walking with my dog. And I think if I walk through this field in the future, there is a chance I might see a what? And it bites me and I die. Or it bites my dog and I die, it dies. Now, one is focused on a real problem that's right there, are you with me? The other is an overall anxiousness

that focuses on the future, and notice I said it's a possibility, not that it's a probability. So when you get into social anxiety, and I'm not, here's the deal, I'm being merciful with this. If you deal with this, it's real. So I'm just trying to talk about it so we can all understand the difference. If you have driving anxiety, we're driving places, you don't want to do that. There is a possibility you could get into a wreck and die. But the probability, highly unlikely, so I'll give you a one that's more real for a lot of people, I can't fly. And I'm not telling you, this isn't face your fears, go fly. I'm not interested in that, okay? But here's the reality. There is a possibility, the plane could crash and you won't die. But, you know what, there was a greater probability, you're gonna die in a car wreck within three miles of your home. Now, throw that out too. Everyone says, you know, most accidents will happen within three miles of your home 'cause you spend most of the time driving within three miles of your home. So that's how people, okay.

So when insurance does that, just know that's what that means. But here's the point. The point is this, anxiety is something that will happen in the future. There's a probability that it creates anxiety fear now, even though it's not a reality nor is it a probability. Somebody who, anytime something happens with an ailment, they, I got cancer, or I'm going to die, or possibility, yes, but something in the future, not verifiable, and it just creates anxiety. The other word we use for it is worry, fair enough. So when you get to Psalm 56, it's talking about not having this anxiety. So I'm gonna give you something practical tonight, but I wanna tell you this, there's nothing I can give you that takes away an emotion completely. So give yourself some grace. But I do think there's some things that the scripture does give us that actually works both psychologically too. When I put it together here, that can help. So here we go. Number one, what David does not do is minimize the threats, the situation, or hide his pain. Here's what doesn't work. I'm just gonna suck it out. And I'm talking about real fears in his life. Could this king kill them?

Yes, it's a real fear. He doesn't pretend like it's not there. This would be ridiculous. Well, I've trusted in the Lord God of the universe. If it's my time to go, it's my time to go. Oh, aren't you great? That's not real life. So this is a cliche I said it weeks ago. It's not original with me. David feels the feel, meaning I don't wanna feel the anxiety. To some degree, you have to allow yourself to feel pain. You say, what would I do instead of that? Brene Brown said this years ago, probably a lot longer now, he says we do three things, four things as a society. We medicate things, we're addicted to things. We eat like crazy till we're obese and we get in debt and we spend. That's what our society does. What does feel the feel mean? Here's what he says in Psalm 56, eight and nine. David says this, he's pouring out himself to God. He is literally scared at the same time he's acting like he's insane. Put my tears into your bottle. Are they not in your book when I cry out to you? One of the things that makes Regent a different than a lot of stuff in a lot of religious circles in church is our emotions are not our enemy. They're not always the best leader,

but they're not the enemy. Before you can take control of some things in your life, the cliche is this, feel the feel before you take the wheel. And that means sitting with other people. Men hate to do this. Well, you say we're not good with our emotions. Yeah, we're good with what emotions, it's called anger. So we stuff everything into that. But after you've done that, it says in the Psalm, David trusts and praises. So that's the end, trust and praise, David trusts and praises. But here's what I want to do for a second, 'cause this is just me, you get the me and these messages. I get the praise, what does trust look like tangibly? I'll give you a synonym for it, rely. But what does that look like? And here's the hard thing, I can't really demonstrate trust directly. Now you're being really nerdy and heady, it's me. So you say, is this what you do during sermons? Yes. Argo, that doesn't make any sense, But I'm always thinking as a teacher, how would I really do that? So it's kind of like this. I can't show you what trust is tangibly, okay? But when you do trust or you don't trust, I can show you what you do, does that make sense? I'm gonna say this again. I can't actually show you the trust thing,

but if you don't trust, I can show you what you do. And if you do trust, I can show you what you do. Does that make sense? So I wanna go through here in this Psalm and get you to focus on what that looks like tangibly. Here's tangible trust, okay? And I have five things, they're in the Psalm, but I'll just give them to you. Number one, stop taking steps to control. I can teach this on this all day long, 'cause I always say when I'm checking in, control belief, I wanna control the outcome, I wanna control my destiny, the things that wreak havoc on my life, I hate them because I'm no longer in control. What does it look like to trust? I know in my life what it looks like not to trust, I'm obsessing about taking what? Control, and you can say in that what David is by going crazy, that doesn't mean I don't take precautions. But it means I'm not fighting to control, including controlling other people, manipulating people. And if you're struggling with trust and the anxiety, eventually you have to release fighting to control, 'cause you're not in control anyway. Number two for David is this, stop hiding. We hide and we go into isolation with the anxiety, never helps, never helps. Number three, start sharing your pain. When you're trusting the Lord, you'll no longer hide,

you'll start sharing the pain. Meaning what will minimize and help with the anxiety is it's not bottled up inside of you. That's why region's not about you listening to me that much. It's about you listening to each other when you're in your group. That's when the healing takes place. Start sharing the burden. The more we get into anxiety, the more we get into isolation, the more we think we've got to do it all what? Ourself. And it just keeps the pattern going. And then number five, I would say this, start taking the next steps. Maybe it's region, prayer. In this passage, just praise, it's a meditation. If you look through the entire Psalm serving, and here's the deal, I could tell you when you have anxiety and you're not trusting what it looks like, trying to control isolation. I don't share about it, and I don't take tangible steps that would show I'm relying on God. Does that make sense? And when you are actually relying on God, it will be not fighting to control, not hiding, being a community and sharing. I can't give you tangibly the rely, but I can tell you you don't have it. There's one other thing, and this is called, long before there were any psychologists and counselors

running around with cognitive behavioral therapy, there was the word of God, okay? But I wanna show you this is interesting. David asks wise questions. And I've counseled a lot of people and I try and counselors. When people are in a heightened state of anxiety, I don't wanna be nerdy, the amygdala's kicked in, the patholomous is kicked in these parts of the brain, and it's fight or flight, they're in survival mode, okay? We are a society that tries to stay out of the part of the brain that helps us. Now, I'm not down on the emotions, right? What do we do to stay out of the part of the brain that will help us? And I'm gonna show you where God wants to take you there. I'll give you some. One is we doom scroll. Well, I'm not hurting anything. This is an anxiety drug. From one thing to another, from one thing to another, from one thing to another. What else do we do? Did not stay in that area of the brain? We binge stream. Now, I've really messed up my brain. I don't know how many shows I started on Netflix, and they're like eight episodes. I'm good for two and a half. Time's horrible. It's like, I watch old movies I like.

Here's how bad it is for me. I fast forward to the scenes I like. (audience laughs) I mean, I am wasted when it comes to it. adult ADHD, well, shut up. There we go. I mean, that's me. But here's the deal, I also know this. The anxiety in my life, I try to medicate through those things. I'll give you one porn, it's a big one. It's not that we just love looking at naked people, it becomes the dopamine hit to medicate. If you ever wonder why people game, they used to be like a younger generation game. I talk to people on your phone all the time, gaming, gaming, gaming, not shaming here. What do all those things do? They take our mind away from the things that help. Thinking. You say, why would a boy go in his room and just game all the time? He's turning off his brain amusement to not muse, to not think, okay? And here's the deal, I like games, I'm not here, I'm no legalist. I'm telling you, you have to ask yourself, if you just study with anxiety, what are you doing to medicate if that doesn't help? So I like this, David has just four questions.

And it's not so much I want you to see the questions. I know I'm really nerdy tonight, just hang with me. It's not so much I want you to see the questions as this. Questions, we talk about a renewed mind, get the part of your brain that will lower the anxiety, that will kick into this parasympathetic nervous system, it will get that part of the brain soothing and thinking. So the other part of your brain's not hijacked with anxiety, so here's the question, number one, David asked this, what can flesh do to me? He's scared of dying, but eventually asked this question, what could flesh do to me? It's a logical question, you say, well the guy could kill it, but what he's doing is getting enough part of his brain where he's thinking what rationally, okay? Isn't that what counselors do? Yes, they're trying to engage in the part of your brain to reason. When it talks about his tears, David says, are they not in thy book? You know what you feel like when you're in anxiety? The future's hopeless, there's nothing I can do, I can't control this, that little thing, where are your tears? Now I have to think, don't wait a second, they're in a book, that means there is a God, that means he just care for me.

You see how it starts going through a different path? The different path is, wait a second, I'm not alone in this. There's somebody who is in control of everything, not me, and it's not so much just like, I memorize this verse so I'm not afraid anymore. Okay, I'm meditating on things. Next, what can man do to me? And you'll think of all, if you have anxiety, well he could do this and he could torture me slowly. It's not that. The point of it is, only what God what, allows. And the last one, have you not kept my feet from falling? And I'll finish with this. Here's a hack people use, but it doesn't really work all the time. They would say this, 95% of the stuff you worry about is not going to happen. And that is true and it gets into probability and that's helpful, but some of it will happen. In the response to that is so what? I'm not talking about death here. What happens is we have this one thing if it happens, it's the worst case scenario, and then we think our life is over. That would have been me, prior to a divorce, I'm just being honest. If the divorce happens and I'm fighting everything in my life to keep it from happening, begging, crying, doing everything I can, and I'm not like I'm noble,

I contributed, I'm not like a saint up here, I'm telling you when it came down to it, I did not want it, I'm gonna do everything I have, because my mind I thought this, if it happens in my life's life, no more. I could not construct a future beyond it. So I can sit here and I look at this verse, and when David just says this, he goes, "Have you not kept my feet from falling?" And it's simple, simple thing is this, and if it does happen, I got news for you, it's not over. In the rare occasion, the thing does happen, and some of you have been here, and I want, this is, I'm gonna be careful how I share this, but I want to share it, talk to somebody, I won't say who, it doesn't matter, but they had had a child commit suicide, okay? Of all the things we deal with, that's about the most devastating. But the rest of this person's life, they're gonna carry the burden, I'm not making light of it. I remember one time having the conversation with them, and I was like, "Well, this would be pretty bad." And I forget what they told me, pretty bad already happened to me. And she was still here. Not saying she's not hurting, I'm not minimizing, I'm saying she was still going, fair enough. What you want to do is be honest

of how many times God has taken care of you. And I get news for if you're here in region tonight, it ain't over, you're doing awesome. And you're taking steps, and you're moving forward, and you have a lot of life to live. that is at least exercising the part of your brain that mitigates the anxiety. And if you still have some anxiety, so do I. We'll have it together and bury each others burdens. Come on, Dez, let's go. All right. Good evening, guys. How are you? Good. All right. My name is Dez Ray. People call me Dez and I have a new life in Christ. Hello. I am in recovery from pride, low self-worth rooted in an abusive marriage, shame connected to my divorce, and more recently, loneliness, fear, and anxiety as I walk through my husband's disability. I grew up in a loving, healthy Christian home and came to know Christ when I was eight years old. And I remember like it was yesterday, surrendering my life to Jesus, ready and willing to follow Him whole heartedly.Second Corinthians 5, 17 says, if anyone is in Christ, He is a new creation. And even as a child, I wanted to live as if that were true. I'm truly blessed to say that my childhood was actually pretty amazing. At age 22, I married a man that I believed was the man of my dreams. Two years in, he became a pastor. From the outside, my life looked strong and stable. I loved serving in ministry, and I loved being a pastor's wife. To everyone around us, our life appeared healthy and successful. But behind closed doors, my marriage was marked by control, emotional and physical abuse, and brokenness that no one knew about. And over time, I began to believe the lies. No matter how hard I tried, I was never enough. I was not pretty enough, not lovable enough. I thought if I could just be a better wife, I'd try harder and say the right things, or not say anything at all. Or become who he wanted me to be. Maybe things would change. So when they didn't, I blamed myself. I no longer saw my worth the way that God saw me. I was measuring my value by how someone else treated me. Scripture says in 844 that the enemy is the father of lies, and I was living in agreement with those lies. What I didn't recognize at the time was that underneath my low self-worth was pride. But pride wasn't showing up as arrogance. It was showing up as self-reliance. I believed it was my responsibility to fix my circumstances

instead of fully trusting God. Proverbs 16, 18 says, "Pride goes before destruction, and I was slowly unraveling inside, while trying to hold everything together on the outside. After 12 years, my marriage ended in divorce. The divorce brought overwhelming shame to my life. Even though I knew the truth of Scripture, I struggled to believe it personally. And I constantly questioned myself and wondered what I had done wrong. My identity became wrapped up in my failures, my pain, and my circumstances. Romans 8 1 says, "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, but I wasn't living as if that were true." I was carrying in shame that Jesus had already paid for. When I first came to region, I thought my primary struggle was low self-worth. I expected God to help me see myself differently. Instead, He revealed something much deeper. God showed me that my biggest issue wasn't simply how I viewed myself. It was how I viewed Him. And when your view of God is small, your problems can start feeling bigger than He is. I realized I've forgotten what it was like to fully trust in His goodness and to believe His love was enough. You see, I knew this truth. I used to live this truth, but somewhere along the way, I stopped letting it shape the way I did. And I had let my circumstances become larger than God Himself. Region gave me a safe place to be honest. It gave me a place to stop pretending everything was okay and begin bringing my struggles into the light. me to replace them with His truth. He showed me places where fear had taken root. Step by step, God began rebuilding my understanding of who He is. He reminded me that His grace is greater than my failures. He showed me that my worth is not based on my performance, my marriage, my ministry role, or what others think of me. My worth comes from being His daughter. As I came to know God more deeply, everything started to change. Where there had been shame, He brought freedom. Where there had been fear, He brought peace. And where there had been loneliness, He reminded me that He is always present. God taught me through region that freedom isn't found in fixing myself.

Freedom is found in surrendering to Christ and allowing Him to transform me. Today my life still contains challenges. My husband has become disabled in the last five years and many of those feelings I battled and passed their loneliness to fear, anxiety, and uncertainty began servicing again. And there are days when I start feeling overwhelmed by questions about the future and wonder how everything is going to work out. The difference now is I don't face those moments the way I once did. You see, instead of spiraling into fear, I bring my fears to God. And instead of believing that I must carry every burden alone, I depend on Him. God has met me in my weakness and reminded me again and again that His presence is enough. Psalms 34, 18 says the Lord is near the brokenhearted and I have experienced that nearness more deeply than ever before. Not because everything is easy, but because He is present. I am learning that peace is not the absence of hardship, it's the presence of God in the middle of it. Philippians 4, 6, 3, 7 says do not be anxious about anything but in everything, present your request known to God. And the peace of God will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. And He is doing just that. He is guarding my heart. He is renewing my mind and He is strengthening my faith. One of the greatest gifts God has given me through region is confidence. Not confidence in myself, but confidence in Christ living in me. My past does not define me. My divorce does not define me and my pain does not define me. My circumstances do not define me. Christ defines me. God continues to transform my relationships as well. He has taught me how to walk in honesty, vulnerability and community. Region has given me people, a community who know my story and continue to encourage me

towards Christ. I no longer feel the need to prove my worth. I can rest in the finished work of Jesus. Through region, God ruined my mind, strengthened my faith and deepened my trust in Him. And I can see His faithfulness in every chapter of my story. I am no longer living in shame. I am walking in freedom. Not because life is perfect, but because our Savior is faithful. Galatians 2.20 says it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. So if you're here tonight and you feel stuck, if you feel weighed down by shame, fear or your past, guys, I want you to hear this. God is not intimidated by your story and He is not disappointed in your struggle. And He is not finished with you. Freedom is real. Healing is possible and new life is available because of Jesus. Psalms 46 once says God is our refuge and strength, our ever present help and trouble. What is not waiting for you to get your life together before He meets you? He is present right now and He is willing to be your refuge too. Hi, my name is Des and I have a new life in Christ.