ReGen October 12th

We are going to lift up the name of Jesus tonight. We're just going to remind ourselves and remind those around us who God is and who we are in Him. And so we just want to take this time tonight to lift Him up, lift Him in the place where He belongs, which is center of all, and the head of our lives. We're going to declare that His name is great, it's powerful, and it can bring change. And that's what we're here for. So we're going to sing together. Let me go over here. Let's see. ♪ I just want to speak the name of Jesus ♪ ♪ Over every part in everyone ♪ ♪ 'Cause I know there's peace within the praise ♪ ♪ I say Jesus ♪ ♪ Don't want to declare ♪ ♪ I just want to speak the name of Jesus ♪ ♪ 'Til every time a tick show starts a break ♪ ♪ 'Til every nurse hold their stream ♪ ♪ I switch you to silence ♪ ♪ 'Cause your name is power ♪ ♪ Your name is fear ♪ ♪ Your name is life ♪ ♪ You sit and break every strong hope ♪ ♪ Shut through the shadows ♪ ♪ Burn like a fire ♪ ♪ You just wanna speak the name of Jesus ♪ ♪ 'Til every dark addiction starts to break ♪

♪ 'Til every nurse hold their names free ♪ ♪ 'Til I switch Jesus ♪ ♪ 'Cause your name is power ♪ ♪ Your name is fear ♪ ♪ Your name is life ♪ ♪ Break every strong hope ♪ ♪ Shut through the shadows ♪ ♪ Burn like a fire ♪ ♪ 'Cause your name is power ♪ ♪ Your name is healing ♪ ♪ Your name is life ♪ ♪ Break every strong hope ♪ ♪ Shut through the shadows ♪ ♪ Burn like a fire ♪ ♪ Shall Jesus run the mountains ♪ ♪ And Jesus and Jesus ♪ ♪ Jesus in the darkness will burn in me ♪ ♪ Jesus, for my family ♪ ♪ I speak the holy name of Jesus ♪ ♪ Oh I declare Jesus ♪ ♪ Shall Jesus from the mountains ♪ ♪ And Jesus in the streets ♪ ♪ Jesus in the darkness will burn every enemy ♪ ♪ And Jesus, for my family ♪ ♪ I speak the holy name of Jesus ♪ ♪ 'Cause your name is power ♪ ♪ Your name is healing ♪ ♪ Your name is life ♪ ♪ Oh make you Jesus ♪ ♪ Break every strong hope ♪

♪ Shut through the shadows ♪ ♪ Burn like a fire ♪ ♪ Burn like a fire ♪ ♪ Your name is power ♪ ♪ Your name is healing ♪ ♪ Your name is life ♪ ♪ Break every strong hope ♪ ♪ Shut through the shadows ♪ ♪ And I just wanna speak the name of Jesus ♪ ♪ Oh, when I'm hard in everyone ♪ ♪ 'Cause I know there must be to live us ♪ ♪ I'm in such deep depth ♪ ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ ♪ I speak Jesus ♪ ♪ Oh, when everything is between ♪ ♪ I speak Jesus ♪ ♪ Oh, when everything is I speak Jesus ♪ ♪ 'Cause yours is the glory ♪ Yours is the power, all of the honor, Yours, Jesus. Lost in your wonder, beauty is planned. Yours is the kingdom, Your Jesus. All it's love, it's love. Fire and air, we are your children. I'll be your name. You'll keep them calm, you'll be dead. In heaven or earth I'll say, in your people's say. Yours is the glory, Yours is the power, all of the honor, Yours, Jesus. Lost in your wonder, beauty is planned. Yours is the kingdom, Yours, Jesus. Our daily prayer, Our daily prayer, Our daily prayer, Our daily prayer, Our daily prayer, our daily prayer.

From every temptation, we live for you alone. Our praise and love, heavenly. Yours is the glory, Yours is the power, all of the honor, Yours, Jesus. Lost in your wonder, beauty is planned. Yours is the kingdom, Yours, Jesus. Yours, Yours, Yours, You reign, all of the honor, all of the honor, to you alone. As it is in heaven, You'll keep them calm. Yours will leave them all over, as it is in heaven. Come on, we didn't listen, all for days below. Yours is the glory, Yours is the kingdom. Lord, let your king come. Let your will be bound, Your will be the honor. As it is in heaven. Oh, our praise belongs to you alone, all of us. As it is in heaven. Your kingdom come. ♪ Has it is in heaven ♪ ♪ Oh, no, that's it, it's over ♪ ♪ Has it is in heaven ♪ ♪ Oh, no, no, it's over ♪ ♪ Has it is in heaven ♪ ♪ Your sister, glory ♪ ♪ Your sister's found ♪ ♪ All of the hour ♪ ♪ Your she'll go with her now ♪ ♪ Lost in your wonder ♪ ♪ You'll be inspired ♪ ♪ Your sister, kingdom ♪ ♪ Your dream ♪ ♪ Come on, say your sister ♪

♪ Your sister, oh ♪ ♪ All of the hour ♪ ♪ Your sister, the girl ♪ ♪ You will have all the energies ♪ ♪ All of the hour ♪ ♪ It's yours ♪ ♪ Your sweet ♪ ♪ All of the lost in your blood ♪ ♪ Lost in your wonder ♪ ♪ Beauty is greater ♪ ♪ Your sister, kingdom ♪ ♪ Lord Jesus ♪ ♪ Oh, take your place, Lord ♪ ♪ You're all ready ♪ ♪ Take your place ♪ ♪ You are the King in law ♪ ♪ That's that ♪ ♪ You are ♪ ♪ Get up ♪ ♪ 'Cause yours is the glory ♪ ♪ Your sister's found ♪ ♪ All of the hour ♪ ♪ Your Jesus ♪ ♪ Lost in your wonder ♪ ♪ Beauty is greater ♪ ♪ Your sister, kingdom ♪ ♪ Oh, Jesus ♪ ♪ Yes, you are ♪ ♪ This Your name ♪ ♪ Is the highest Your name ♪

♪ Is the greatest Your name ♪ ♪ Oh, it stands above the mall ♪ ♪ All bones and dominions ♪ ♪ All powers and positions ♪ ♪ Your name stands above the mall ♪ ♪ 'Cause Your name is the highest Your name ♪ ♪ Is the greatest Your name ♪ ♪ Oh, it stands above the mall ♪ ♪ All bones and dominions ♪ ♪ All powers and positions ♪ ♪ Your name stands above the mall ♪ ♪ And the angels cry ♪ ♪ Holy, our creation cries ♪ ♪ Holy ♪ ♪ We were lifted high ♪ ♪ Holy ♪ ♪ Holy forever ♪ ♪ Lord, hear your people ♪ ♪ Hear your people sing ♪ ♪ Holy, to the King of Kings ♪ ♪ Holy, for You will always be ♪ ♪ Holy, holy forever ♪ ♪ You will always be ♪ ♪ Holy, holy forever ♪ ♪ 'Cause Your name is the highest Your name ♪ ♪ Is the greatest Your name ♪ ♪ Oh, it stands above the mall ♪ ♪ Of all the roads and the engines all out ♪ ♪ Imposition is Your name ♪ ♪ It stands above the mall ♪

♪ And the angels cry ♪ ♪ Holy, our creation cries ♪ ♪ Holy, for You will lift and hide ♪ For your people, hear your people sing Holy, to the King of Kings Holy, you will always be Holy, holy forever Because you will always be Holy, holy forever You will always be holy, holy forever Holy, holy, holy, Lord You are holy forever Lord Jesus, I just pray over tonight I pray that as our hearts are reflecting on our own weaknesses On our own areas where we fall short, Lord That we would just be reminded of a holy God Who loves us without condition Lord, thank you for who you are Thank you that you are never changing Thank you that you are always patient and you are always kind, Lord Lord, I just pray that you would pour your grace on us tonight as we move on in our evening of worship It's in all these things I pray in your precious son's name Amen, amen, amen And why don't you all take a seat Let's continue on with our night [Music] Good evening Regen My name is Jeff, I have a new life in Christ A shame from a divorced controlled tendencies that would lead to anxiety

And a lot of sins of self-protection with cynicism So I don't pick the psalm that gets assigned to me So Jonathan and I switch, so this was the psalm that was assigned to me Okay, I'll just say that is my disclaimer here Psalm 35, so here's how I'm going to begin with What do I do when I'm ticked off? I made a list real quick just back there, what makes me bad? Work You say, Jeff, you work at a church I work at this church Yeah, sometimes it takes me off Drivers I love them, the chiefs, and humans in general So that is my list of things, okay Now here we go, Psalm 35, here's the theology is what's called an imprecatory psalm Imprecatory, what's that mean? There's only about six of these for sure in Scripture but there's imprecatory clauses in a lot of psalms Latin it means curse to curse, they're all controversial because actually in the psalm the psalmist is praying to God to curse people Okay, very controversial, we'll talk about that a little bit So here is what they usually do, the writer calls upon God to judge, punish, or bring justice against the wicked particularly those who oppress, betray, or persecute the innocent Again, Latin for curse and oftentimes the writer of the psalm oftentimes David feels like, and I think rightly so he's being persecuted, I just leave people trying to kill him

and he's praying curses upon them from God Now, before you get spiritual I just want you to imagine if you have kids they get out of like children's church wherever you go to church, if it's here a life kids, what'd you learn today? Well, I learned how to curse you when I met Jesus that wouldn't fly So, I-- I was-- So here's what it says in the Psalm, okay? Let those be put to shame and brought to dishonor who seek after my life. He's praying this to God. Let those be turned back and brought to confusion who plot my hurt. Let them be like chaff before the wind. Let the angel of the Lord chase them. Let their way be dark and slippery. Let the angel of the Lord pursue them. Let destruction come upon him unexpectedly and let his net that he has hidden catch himself into that very destruction, let him fall. So tonight in your groups, I want you to think of who's making you mad. And we're going to practice prayers of curses. No, we're not gonna do that tonight, okay. You're gonna say, finally, I can't get into this. And then you're also thinking, I know someone who's gonna come now. Let's say, here we do this. Now, I'll joke it aside, but it's like, I think a very scary movie,

and I'm kind of in that scary movie, looking at that stuff because it's Halloween and everything. But I think back when I was a kid, think of all the movies were curses came upon people. They'll ring, I won't even go to all of them 'cause I don't recommend any of those movies. But here we go, those things happening. All the voodoo stuff, just all that stuff. And so here's what's going on in the Psalm and the emotion is anger. So what really does make you mad? And more specifically, who's really made you mad? And I don't mean like, I always ticked off and I got over it. I mean, this is a Psalm they're praying, the Psalm-ness praying that God would judge people. Now here's why it's difficult, theologically. What do you do with these Psalms? And here's the deal, it's complicated. So there's no easy answer for it. But I mean, it's kind of hard to line that up with a lot of New Testament teaching or teaching for the rest of the Bible. And it's funny, God could have in his wisdom not had these in the Psalms 'cause you're going along and it's like, you know, is the deer panted? And you know, it's like, I'm like a tree growing up and bless the name of the Lord and let fire be rained down on this person. I mean, it, they're in there though, okay, they're in there. And so I think about anger and I can be angry.

I'm coming up on 60 in my life. Why do I still get angry at stuff? Done stuff, some stuff that's serious. So here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna give you four things to do with this Psalm and they'll be very practical, but I'm not gonna give you the magic answer at the end because they're still a part of me that I'm gonna be honest with you, I don't understand these. I mean, I don't think I could intentionally pray these prayers and have a good conscience about it. It would be weird. I mean, if I did, it would be odd. But in my heart, I think these things at times. So when I come here, four things we can learn from anger. Now, here's what I wanna say. This is something I heard a lot in church growing up that's really not very good. It's just don't listen to your emotions, they'll lie to you. The person who told you that was lying, seriously. Your emotions don't lie to you, but let me explain. If I'm angry and you came up to me and said, hey, Jeff, you're really not angry. Yes, I am. No, that's lying to you. You're really happy right now. But that's every time someone says that, oh, your emotions lie to you. Or be like, I get to hang out with my grandkids and I'm really happy.

You know, you're really not happy, you're delusional. No, I feel pretty happy. You're not, but every time somebody says your emotions lie to you. Now, here's why I say that. Here's what's not an emotion, okay? I feel like punching you in the face. If you ever look at an emotion wheel, that's not one of the emotions. Punch you in the face. No, I'll be honest with you. I can feel like I'm in love, but there's no emotion called go have an adulterous affair. What we do is we talk about our actions like that's the feeling. Are you tracking with me? Meaning those aren't emotions. I feel like having an affair. No, you might feel unhappy. You might feel like you're looking for relationships. And those are very real feelings. And if you ignore those, man, you're not gonna learn a lot, but the action that comes after it, that's not an emotion. So I will say this, our emotions are great teachers. They'll always teach you something, but they're not always great leaders. You need to learn from them when your flesh gets involved, that's when it can go bad. Be angry. We should all get T-shirts for region.

That would be hilarious. It's just the beginning of the verse. Jesus is 4, 26. Be angry. It's in the Bible. I mean, be funny for a while. Until Phil read it, then it wouldn't be funny at all. Be angry and do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your wrath. In verse 27, "nor give place to the devil." I'm feeling light because it's kind of heavy. So I'm not gonna be all serious about it, but I'll just say this. Very few times in the Bible for the believer does it specifically elicit your fighting state, your state and getting a foothold. It's more to do with your flesh, more to do with the world. There's just a few times, once in first Corinthians, chapter seven. Here's in Ephesians says, this anger thing, man, specifically, not just your flesh, not just the world, it's saying, don't let the devil have a place in your life, okay? So it's serious, anger can do that. But it also lets you know this. He's saying, be angry, but don't what? So the emotion or the feeling in and of itself is not the sin. If that was the case every time you're afraid of something, you said, fear not, okay, I wanna feel something else.

That doesn't work that way. What's fear not mean? Don't let my emotion dictate my actions, okay? Don't let fear rule my life that I don't take that step or reach out in faith, or do something new, or pursue God, or stand up to persecution. It means don't stop feeling stuff. That's not the command. And so he's saying here, when it says, be angry and sin, not he's saying, don't stop being angry, 'cause you know what? It's really hard to turn that off, okay? But it says you can be angry and not sin. This isn't on the screen, but this is directly from Psalm 4-4. So I just wanna read this to you. This is what Paul's quoting in Ephesians. Be angry and do not sin, meditate within your heart on your bed and be still. So I'm just gonna tell you, when I feel angry, the command is I need to get into my mind and do some meditating on God and his word. And I do do intentionally be still, in contrast to what? Not thinking and not being still. And taking actions I regret. So you see, what are the four things you can do with anger? I'm gonna give you four things right here. Some of this is more what we do in counseling, but I feel it's majorly beneficial for region.

So here we go, these are, what's good about anger? I'm gonna give you four things that are good. Here's number one. Anger reveals what matters to us. Now sometimes you can be angry over petty things, but I find somebody, I just never angry, not a lot matters to you in this world, does it? I mean, no injustice matters to you, no oppression matters to you, no God's name being mocked matters to you, none of that matters to you. Anger reveals what matters to us. Our expectations are values and our needs. So when you're angry, you can ask yourself, what is important to me right now? But I'll say this, that anger doesn't tell you what to do. It'll tell you what matters to you, that anger's not the emotion that's gonna tell you what to do. So what do you go to it for here? Number one, when you're angry, ask yourself, what do I value that's being fringed upon? Now here's the deal. Sometimes you can learn some of your values stink. So in all seriousness, and I don't really do it, I'm gonna use some illustration, sometimes that aren't me that much, but at times I've been mad with driving, I have. Okay, somebody catch up or something like that.

Usually I'm being very immature in that situation, fair enough, okay. So I say something values like I make a joke about the chiefs, and I have no victory over this. I highly value them. They do not know me. Travis Kelsey does not know who I am, let alone Taylor Swift. They do not know who I am. Why do I care so much? It's an idol, but I still like it. But it lets me know what I value. I can learn from that. Next, anger lets us know there is something more foundational going on. What do I mean by that? There's something called primary and secondary emotions. So it's like a frog, and it's jumping on a lily pad, and here's what it is. The lily pad is your base emotion you really feel, so I'm gonna give you three of them. Number one is we can get disgusted. More often we can be hurt, which is sad, and more often than that, we can be afraid. Now if you're all thinking, I know what Disney movie you like, Pixar, but yep, that's right, it was good. All right, here we go. But here's the deal. I don't like feeling afraid,

and I don't like feeling sad. as soon as I'm feeling that I'm going to jump to an emotion I like feeling where I feel like I'm in control and you know what the best emotion that I like to feel and I could be in control because I'm not jumping to happy is anger so here's the deal whenever I'm angry if I'm really going to be introspective okay that's the secondary emotion going on here what do I feel beneath the surface and if somebody has slided me or disrespected me I'm hurt and I feel sad and especially as a guy I don't want to say that like I don't even know who you are if you disrespected me I'm not gonna you don't really feel sad that you did that could we talk about that I feel pathetically like a wuss you know what I want to do I want to be mad I want to be in control but you know what that anger is telling you it's telling you there's something underneath the surface you need to deal with if that makes sense next one and I'm preaching to myself here anger teaches us to surrender control now here's the trick about this all this is where it's complicated I can't tell you theologically how this lines up sorry I can but he's praying these curses or God would curse but here's what I'll tell you the psalmist brings his pain to God and leaves justice and vengeance with God this is important it seems odd to me you would even pray and ask God for that because of a really great Christians we're gonna pray you know like Jesus did on the cross God forgive them for they know know what they do and I can show you over and over again that is what we're supposed to do so what do you do with it some predatory Psalms I don't know what to do with them but here's the principle I can give you what the psalmist does not do is go deal with that on his own so the rawst and worst emotion he has is anger even if it's in this prayer he takes it to who here's the more important thing he is praying God would deal with it and at times God take vengeance and do justice he just doesn't take it into his own what hands okay now here's the thing um be careful I'm gonna get into other areas here but I'm just brutally honest I could go minister and I do at a correctional facility okay I do and at the same time I want to love someone and help someone I can still feel a sense of justice so what they say well what would be great is if everyone would leave the correctional facility tomorrow and all come join this church there's a part of me that would say no I don't think that would be justice fair enough meaning I could deal with people in my life and think personally I could think yes I will have compassion and I will help you but yes I do think the consequence you're facing is reasonable does that make sense now in the proprietary song how that works out I don't know but it just means this I can tell you this

you carrying justice and vengeance around is not a good look for you so this song lets you take your anger and give it back to who to God the last one is this anger is a great motivator people I don't really deal with anger that's why you don't do much anger motivates us to take helpful action my anger will motivate me to forgive or I pretend like I'm not mad and it just rots me like a cancer my anger will motivate me to do something for the oppressed that's really sad that that area of town is downtrodden I sure hope a church does something about that but I'm sleeping just fine I'm not saying that your anger should leave you to be a nut and a riot but it could lead you to do something productive to help somebody and anger will help you make a life change when your addiction is blown up so many relationships around you a little dose of anger in your life is enough to motivate you to finally go what do something about it anger is a great motivator I'll say this though and this is careful this is the caution but anger alone is never enough well I'm angry so now I'm motivated and I'm going to check my emotions and I'm going to know why I do stuff and I'm going to do all those things anger alone's never enough it's a good starting place but in the end you need a forgiveness and you're going to need a journey and you're going to need to be regenerated in all of these things. Anger alone will just destroy your life. It will. But if you're asking what to do with it, learn the things you need to learn. So the question I'll leave you with tonight that I ask myself, "Why am I so mad? Are you shaming me for being mad?" nope, but a great place to be is where you are tonight, that region. It's a great question to ask, "Why are you so mad?" Get to Hayes, come up and share your testimony with us tonight, thank you. Let us pray. Thank you, Heavenly Father, that we overcome the enemy by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of our testimony. Would you allow the seeds of this testimony to fall on fertile hearts and let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer, in Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

Hi, my name is Genta and I have a new life in Christ. I'm recovering from scenes of people pleasing self-retection and control. Before recovering Christ, I was bleeding all over the place, a patient with gaping heart wounds. Some were visible in my choices. Many were hidden beneath years of survival, striving, anger and fear. I was born to a 15-year-old girl in a small Kansas town. When my mother presented me to my biological father, he looked at my light-skinned complexion and said, "That's a white man's baby." Then he turned away, walked out and never came back. From that first rejection, a seed took root in my heart, I am not worth choosing. My mother later married into an abusive marriage and at times she had to leave to survive. When my heart broke each time that I couldn't go with her, I had also experienced physical, sexual and verbal abuse from family members who were supposed to protect me. These wounds taught my heart that love had to be earned, that safety had to be controlled and performance was the cost of being wanted. But the Lord was planting good seed along the way. My mother ensured that her children were always in church getting the word. At age three, my great-great-great-grandmother, Bessie, taught me the Lord's prayer. At age seven, in response to crippling anxiety, a pastor taught me to pray Psalm 56-3, "When I am afraid, I will trust in thee." And two years later at the age of nine, gripped by fear in the middle of the night, I prayed that prayer and being placed faith in Jesus as my Lord and Savior. Still pain distorted my view of God as a father. My heart wondered, "If he is a father, will he leave me too? Will he fail to protect me? Do I have to take care of myself?" And when I was twelve, my mother remarried. My stepfather wanted to be our father, but I focused more on the father who had left and keeping the present father at a distance seemed safer.

Over time, God showed me that he had redeemed what was lost by giving me and my siblings someone who stayed, loved, and protected our family. As the eldest child, I sometimes had to care for my siblings when my mother was absent or when she was incarcerated and this taught me to be strong, alert, and prepared. That is where self-protection and control grew. Things like achievement, sports, ministry, unhealthy relationships, marijuana became ways to numb my pain. Those shame was present, same-sex relationship offered what felt like safety and control. So many years were spent trying to sit on the throne of my life, believing it was my drive to control everything, to protect everyone, and to save myself. But the gracious and merciful God kept pursuing me. On my 40th birthday, in September of 2023, I sensed the Lord telling me to step down from my father's pool pit and follow him. through a woman named Val Along. to abundant life. Obedience to Christ meant losing people's approval and experiencing conflict, especially with my mother. A few years later, after another painful mother-daughter argument, I walked into abundant life lease summit campus where Pastor Phil was preaching on Jehovah Raffa, the Lord, my healing. Tears filled my eyes until I couldn't see the preacher's face. But oh, I heard the word clearly. By his stripes, we are healed, Isaiah 53.5. He also shared his testimony of healing through his regeneration journey. And seeing the pastor humbly submit to recovery made me interested in learning more about this ministry. After service, I drove home, pulled into my apartment parking lot, and began brawling and screaming at God.

I can't do this anymore. I'm bleeding all over the place. Lord, I need you to stop this bleeding. I need you to heal my broken heart and bind up my wounds. Psalm 43, seven became my pleading prayer. Everything I had used to manage pain had failed. Relationships couldn't heal me. Achievement could not heal me. Ministry could not heal me. And sex had become shameful and empty, and marijuana no longer numb the pain. So I sought the Lord. He heard me, and he answered. (audience applauding) A week later, I told my therapist, I'm ready to be healed. I'm desperate. I'm willing to do anything. Yet even in desperation, performance language was present. Healing still sounded like something to be earned instead of receiving something from the great physician. Then on Monday evening, in January, 2024, a drive down highway 40 led me to region orientation, where bubbly Carol McGann, who will become my mentor later, greeted me with joy. Jentah, I remember your name from registration list, because it was so unique. Y'all know that's how she redo it. Skepticism's quickly set in, okay? She was in my face, I'm like, hold up. God, is this really where you want me?

But the Holy Spirit gently reminded me, ain't you desperate for healing? Well, this is my path. You see, the great physician invited me into his operating room called regeneration, and began spiritual heart surgery. Steps one through three admit believing trust, required admitting powerlessness over seeing, brokenness, and unhealthy patterns. People pleasing self protection and control weren't keeping me safe, they were exhausting me. In step four inventory, the Lord exposed resentments, fears, anger, distrust, and the need to perform and control, and the false beliefs that I had carried since childhood. He didn't shame me for the wounds other had caused, but he did lovingly show me where I had participated in breaking my own heart. Through steps five and six, confess and repent, healing required to render it. Confession meant bringing into the light what had been hidden for so many years, and repentance meant turning from the familiar ways of self protection. Then in step seven, follow, becoming Jesus's disciple meant learning from him. My strength grew as I took my eyes off people and put them on God. There was no longer a need to perform for a human audience. And by this point, my prayer had moved from pleading to praise of Psalm 103, two verses two through five.

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquities, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, and who satisfies you with good, so that your soul, your youth is renewed like the Eagles. I prayed this every day in the mirror. And in steps eight through nine, forgiving amends became the spiritual, physical therapy of recovery. I had to first receive Christ's forgiveness, then seek to forgive others who I, I mean, then seek forgiveness from others who I had hurt, and then forgive those who would hurt me. I even forgave my birth father for walking away, although I did not know him, and I extended forgiveness to my parents. Forgiveness didn't mean what happened was okay, but it meant releasing the debt to God, trusting him with justice, healing in my future. [BLANK_AUDIO] taught me that recovery is not the finish line, but a continuing journey of examining the heart, growing it intimacy, and carrying his message of reconciliation to others. My current recovery is learning to live with a surrendered heart unto Christ. That means turning to Him for comfort instead of numbing agents.

That means walking and accountability with my sisters and my mentor. That means growing in intimacy, sitting at His feet and in His Word. And I'm currently doing that through daily time with the Lord as well as discipleship too. Because of what He has done, I have the blessed honor of walking with God by welcoming women into their regen journey, journey with the healer, rather than trying to be the healer. And I get to shepherd women's hearts through Bible studies. I am still discipled and a disciple, and I get to preach His Word when called on. Today I believe God loves me more than anything, not just in my head, but in my heart. He is changing how I see Him, how I see myself, and how I see others. It's been 12 years since Jesus delivered me from lesbian relationships, and four years since I've walked in total freedom. (audience applauds) God has also transformed my relationship with my mother, we live together now, somebody pray, listen. (audience laughs) But we go home, mother, daughter dates, we laugh together, and when she says she loves me, I believe it. You see, I never thought that would be possible, y'all, but Ephesians 3.20 tells us

that God can do exceedingly abundantly above all that we could ask, think, or imagine, and I believe it. Restoration is still happening, but I no longer perform for her love. God is teaching me to see her as His daughter, too. And although I've completed the 12 steps, I still use the tools gained through regime. Instead of performing, I'm learning to simply be His daughter. And instead of trying to heal myself, I hold my heart before Him, because He's the restore of the broken. Brothers, this is His in Christ. And those who still are wondering if you want to trust Him. If you are wounded, ashamed, weary, or exhausted from the broken pieces of your own life, you are not too far gone or too complicated for Jesus. You do not have to clean yourself up or perform your way into His care. He sees you and He loves you deeply. All He wants is for you to come. Come desperate. Come honest. Come as you are. God is still Yahweh Raffa, the Lord who heals. And He is more interested in being your healer than leaving you with gaping heart wounds. Hi, my name is Genta, and I have a new life in Christ. (audience cheering) (audience clapping) (audience applauds)

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