ReGen Longing for God Psalm 119

You have been bought with a price, so you're not your own. What I love about this is only God can tell you who you are. And by His grace and mercy, He says, you are chosen. You are forgiven. You are a new creation. You are a child of God. You are free from sin. You're one with Christ. You're created for good works. You're victorious. You're no longer a slave. You're accepted. You're healed. You're surrounded by God's mercy. You're beautiful. You're not alone. You're strong. You're blessed. You're special to God. You're fearfully and wonderfully made. And you're God's beloved. Praise the Lord. Well, praise the Lord. We're going to praise the Lord this evening. Can you go ahead and stand with us? We just want to lift up praises to our God and just allow His Spirit who lives in us to just remind us of who He is, who we are in Him. And as we worship tonight, we want to worship with just God's Spirit leading us into that.

He has brought us from so many things. God is doing so many great things in region and He's doing so many great things in the lives of those as we come together. And we talked about earlier before we rehearsed about being vulnerable and being transparent and being honest and just bringing our full selves to the Lord and also with each other. And what that does is that brings, that causes a response. And our response to bringing our all to Him and laying it at the altar and knowing that we are accepted and that we are cared for and that we are loved is just honor and praise to Him. And so we're going to do that tonight. And if you don't mind doing that with us, we're just going to worship the King. Amazing grace, how sweet the sound. That saved a wretch like me. I once was lost, but now I'm found. Was blind, but now I see. It was grace that taught my heart to fear. And grace my fears relieved. How precious did that grace appear. The hour I first believed. My chains are gone, I've been set free. My God, my Savior, has ransomed me. And like a flood, His mercy rains. I'm empty of love. Amazing grace. Amazing grace, how sweet the sound. The Lord has promised good to me.

His word my hope secures. He will my shield and portion be. As long as life endures. My chains are gone, I've been set free. My God, my Savior, has ransomed me. And like a flood. His mercy reigns, unending love, amazing grace And my chains are gone, I've been set free My God, my Savior, has ransomed me And like a flood, His mercy reigns, unending love, amazing grace The earth shall soon dissolve like snow The sun forbear to shine But God who called me here below Will be forever mine And will be forever mine Oh God, You are forever mine All my life You have been so, so good With every breath that I am made Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God I love You, Lord Oh, Your mercy never fails me And all my days I've been held in Your hands And from the moment that I wake up Until I lay my head Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God All my life You have been faithful All my life You have been so, so good With every breath that I am made Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God I love Your voice

And You have led me through the fire In darkest night You are close like no other I've known You as a Father I've known You as a Friend And I have lived in the goodness of God All my life You have been faithful All my life You have been so, so good With every breath that I am made Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God Your goodness is running after It's running after me Your goodness is running after It's running after me With my life laid down, I surrender now I give You everything Your goodness is running after Your goodness is running after me, it's running after me Your goodness is running after me, it's running after me With my life laid down, I surrender now, I give you everything Your goodness is running after, it's running after me And all my life you have been faithful, and all my life you have been so, so good With every breath that I am able, oh I will sing of the goodness of God Oh I will sing of the goodness of God Oh I will sing of the goodness of God For all He's done, for all He will do, for all He's done in the past, He's doing good right now in you, and He deserves our praise Hallelujah! We praise Him! Our praise in the valley, our praise on the mountain Our praise when I'm sure, our praise when I'm doubting Our praise when I'm numbered, our praise when surrounded As long as I'm breathing, I've got a reason to praise the Lord of my soul

Our praise when I feel it, our praise when I know Our praise cause I know you're still in control, oh yes you are, yes you are My praise is no weapon, it's more than a sound My praise is a shout that brings Jericho down Come on, as long as you got breath in your lungs As long as I'm breathing, I've got a reason to praise the Lord of my soul Said I won't be quiet, I won't be quiet, my God is alive, how could I keep it inside Praise the Lord, oh my soul, oh my soul My soul will praise the Lord, I speak to my soul, and say soul you gotta lift up praise unto Him Because He is due, He is worthy of all glory and honor Here's a reason to praise Him, come on here we go Our praise cause you're sovereign, praise cause you reign Praise cause you're rose and defeated the grave Our praise cause you're faithful, praise cause you're true Praise cause there's nobody greater than you I praise cause you're sorrow, praise cause you're rain Praise cause you're rose and defeated the grave Our praise cause you're faithful, praise cause you're true Praise cause there's nobody greater than you Praise the Lord, oh my soul Praise the Lord, oh my soul Praise Praise the Lord, oh my soul My soul will praise the Lord Because He's worthy We'll praise the Lord We exalt His name Yeah Praise the Lord Come on

Let everything that hath breath Praise the Lord Let everything that hath breath Praise the Lord Praise the Lord Let everything that hath breath Praise the Lord Praise the Lord Let everything If you got breath in your lungs If you got breath in your lungs Then praise the Lord Come on, give God glory He's worthy Thanks for lifting His name up with us You can have a seat All right, region, how we feeling tonight? Man, whoo Kinda hard to come down off of that God Hey, we have a little saying around here We exist to see lives change by who? Jesus You know, our motto at Regeneration is experience change For the last five years I've had the honor and the privilege of serving as the Regeneration pastor here at Abundant Life Thank you

The ten years before that I served in homeless ministry and recovery ministry in downtown Kansas City And I, let me just say this I have never in my life or in my 16 years of ministry seen anything as fruitful as the life changes happening here at Regeneration So can we, yeah, let's give God glory for that Amen Amen, incredible My name is Jonathan I have a new life in Christ Hey, hey, hey I am recovering from drug addiction from depression And this week I would say that I am struggling with fear of rejection Hey, if it's your first time here at Regeneration we just want to say welcome So glad you're here So glad you made it in the door Sometimes that can take a lot of courage just walking through the door So we're glad you're here Shout out to our family online from wherever you're watching from to our prison campuses Yeah, anyone who's streaming on the Pando app Independence, Johnson County, Crossroads

all of our campuses Thank you for being here tonight Yeah, what a blessing So, I wanted to share something This is interesting But I used to believe that the Bible was a written account of the past according to God Little did I know that it's way so much more than that You know Not only is it the past it's the present, it's the future, it's everything And what's so beautiful about it is that all of our lives are kind of like a part of God's redemption story Isn't that cool? He's the author and the finisher of our faith Every single one of our stories your stories is interwoven into this great redemption story that will last for eternity And I was thinking you know, I've noticed that every great story every great leading character always has a deep sense of longing I just went and saw The Odyssey Odysseus has this deep longing to go home

right, to go back to his His wife and his son in Ithaca. Jean Valjean, if you've ever seen Les Mis, he has this deep longing of redemption. Frodo, Lord of the Rings, has a deep longing for peace. Ron Burgundy. He's got a deep longing for the spotlight. I couldn't come up with anything for Ron. But I wanted to ask, what longing drives your story? If somebody were to look at your life, what would they say that you long for? This year we have been walking through the book of Psalms, uncovering different ways that God has created us in his image. Point number one tonight, if you're taking notes, is we were created for longing. We were created for longing. As human beings, God has designed us with a deep sense of longing. A longing that can only be fulfilled by God. In fact, humanity was created for communion with God, amen? In Ecclesiastes, King Solomon, he writes, "'God placed eternity in the hearts of men.'" There is a divine discontentment in all of us. So tonight I wanna look at Psalm 119. Many of you are probably familiar with it. It is the longest psalm, so I'm gonna teach verse by verse all night. No, it is, that will be your homework. Go home and read Psalm 119.

I did say 119, right? It is a love letter to God. It's beautiful, right? The psalmist is like longing for intimacy with God, and he uses all of these verbs like reaching, yearning, thirsting, hoping, and waiting. And I pulled certain verses. He says, with my whole heart I seek after you, God. He says, my soul is consumed with longing after your word. It is your promises that give me life, oh God. He says, your word is a lamp to my feet, a light to my path. Your word have I hidden in my heart that I might not sin against you. Over and over, it's just this love letter to God. And the way that Psalm 119 is actually written, it's written as an acrostic prayer, meaning that every stanza starts with a letter of the Hebrew alphabet, and it goes all the way through. And almost every single verse minus a couple mentions God's word or God's law, which I find to be very interesting. So all throughout scripture, we have all these examples of people who long. They either long for God or they long for everything else. And I was thinking about that. You have people who long for God, like David, Moses, Elijah, and we have all these beautiful images of what that looks like.

The psalmist, obviously, but then we also have examples of what it shouldn't look like. You have like the rich young ruler who has this longing for possessions. You have the prodigal son who longs for his inheritance and pleasure. You know, you've got Judas who longs for silver, like all of these different things going on. But I wanted to talk a little bit about Lot's wife. Anybody remember the story of Lot's wife? If you don't, it's found in Genesis 19, the first book of the Bible. And let me just start by saying, anybody who thinks the Bible is all sunshine and rainbows, man, read Genesis 19, it's a little out there. There are some wild stories in the Bible. But it's so interesting, you have this story, Lot, who was Abraham's nephew, lives in Sodom. And God sends these two angels to rescue Lot and his wife and children and to get them out of the city before God destroys it. And the angels come and they manage to get them out of the city and they tell them to run for your life. Run to the mountains and do not look back. Sure enough, Lot's wife does an about face and disobedience, looks back and is turned into a pillar of? Salt. Man, you guys are on it. God ends up raining all this stuff down,

there's all this destruction, she turns back, is turned into a pillar of salt. What is it that Lot's wife was longing for? Well, the Bible doesn't tell us, right? Kind of leaves it up to us. But what many people believe is that she was either desiring her past, it was the loss of material possessions. or maybe even concerns for family, regardless of what it was, we know that it did not turn out well for Lot's wife. And so it's given to us as a cautionary tale for where we should have our longing. Point number two, sin redirects our longing. Sin redirects our longing. So you and I were created to long for the right thing, which is God. Anyone who's ever had a compass, compass always points in what direction? North. If it's magnetized, right? If it's not magnetized, it points wherever it wants to point. And I think that's what sin does, is it demagnetizes our hearts and kind of points us in all these different directions. And some of those directions can even be positive things. Right? We all long to be loved. We long to be accepted. We long for significance, for security.

We long for beauty, for adventure, for peace. There's so many things that we long for and on and on it goes. Now, some of us, myself included, this can lead to a pretty dark place. We're trying to fill the void with all these things that are not the true North. It's not God. For me, I ended up homeless and addicted because I longed for love and I longed for comfort, but I looked in all the wrong places. If you've ever heard of the hedonistic paradox, it's the idea that when we chase after pleasure, it evaporates before our very eyes. Right? It's like as soon as we get to it, it disappears. It's like a mirage, an oasis in the desert. Isn't it funny how every time we arrive at the thing that we long for, very quickly we start longing for other things. Am I alone? No. Yeah, there's this divine discontentment in all of us. I think about Mick Jagger. I can't get no satisfaction, Rolling Stone. Alexander Hamilton, I'm never satisfied. Yeah. What is the one thing that you've always thought would bring you satisfaction? Maybe it's when I finally get married.

I find that perfect spouse. They're gonna fulfill everything inside of me. Or maybe it's when I have children and I can pour all my love into these sweet little angels. Right? Maybe it's when I get the promotion that I've always been working hard for, or I finally retire and I don't have to work anymore. Maybe I'll be satisfied when I no longer have to worry about money and bills. Maybe it's when I lose the weight, maybe it's when I'm no longer anxious or depressed. We always have these things that it's like, man, if I could just get there, then I'd be happy, I'd be satisfied. Anybody who knows me knows I'm a big Tolkien fan, C.S. Lewis, and in the book, C.S. Lewis' book, Mere Christianity, he has a quote that says, if I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world. Isn't that a beautiful quote? Man. Point number three, God's word renews our hearts and our minds. Now you see, you notice I put Jesus in parentheses? In the beginning was the word, the word was with God, the word was God,

the word became flesh and dwelt among us. Jesus is the living word of God. Amen? Psalm 119, when you go home and do your homework, since you're all awesome and I know you're gonna do that, every time you see God's word or God's law, replace it with the name Jesus. And just read it that way, it's beautiful. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus says, blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Jesus didn't merely tell us where satisfaction is, he is the satisfaction, amen? Jesus said, I am the bread of life, come to me. Anyone who is thirsty, I am the living water. You know, our deepest longing is not for rest or for peace, it's for a person. Right, if we could just learn that and walk in that. And anybody who's known the Lord for some time knows that the more you get to know Jesus, the more you love him. Right, it's like love increases appetite. And if you read through Psalm 119, it goes from I pant, to I thirst, to I. faint to my soul longs for you. It's like this progression of love towards God. And what's beautiful about this is God is not done with the story. It's not done yet. Jesus is coming back.

Jesus is coming back. God's kingdom will come and the Son of Man will be revealed in his glory, amen? Before Jesus went to the cross, he told his disciples in Luke chapter 17, he said, remember Lot's wife. Whoever seeks to save his own life will lose it and whoever loses his life will preserve it. What do you long for? What longing drives your story? You know, every week we are so blessed to hear stories about life change, stories that give us all hope. So I'm so excited tonight I get to introduce my brother, a friend and brother. Everybody give it up for Klondo. Thank you, brother. All right, all right. My name is Klondo Brownlee. I have a new life in Christ. I am being delivered by the Lord Jesus Christ from manipulation, lust, lying, stealing, and a whole host of other life controlling sins. And I'm here today to share with you all and I appreciate y'all listening to me. I was born in Cleveland, Ohio, 1961 to Klondo Senior and Dorothy Brownlee. I have three sisters. We lived a lot of things in our life that were kind of tough for us coming up in Cleveland.

And shortly after we found ourselves moving all the way to New York, my father was an accomplished jazz musician. So he played in bands and he started a fusion band in New York. And, you know, unfortunately in those days, it was the heroin that gave the magic to the music. And of course my father started using heroin and he was doing pretty good for a while, but the gigs got smaller and the habit got bigger and he found himself in a situation where he had to call his aunt who lived in California. And after about an hour of talking to her, we were loading up the car shortly after and moving to California. So we got to California and we couldn't live with my aunt because she helped my grandmother raise my father. And she was like, mm-mm. So we had to move across the street. So we moved across the street from my aunt. My dad got a pretty decent job manufacturing aircraft parts at an aircraft plant. And of course my father was always that hustle flow guy. So he got acquainted with the Mexico border and he found out they had cheap black tar heroin. And the next thing you know, Jed was a millionaire. We're driving Jaguars. We got new toys that you don't have to put tape on, bikes that don't have scratches on them. We're kind of living large.

One day we went from Riverside, California to San Diego to go to SeaWorld. It's about a four hour round trip. On the way back home, we're driving up our street, getting ready to go home. Our doors kicked in. You got like 20 suits in the driveway, in the yard, federal agents. So my dad blew by the house, dropped us at a neighbor. The next time I talked to my dad, it was between a glass and a correctional facility. So my dad went to prison and my mom struggled for a while. Then we end up in this apartment complex. And you know the thing in the apartment complex, it was a culture shock for us. Because we had a few years where we lived pretty high on the hog and then we had to get on government assistance. And of course, all the other trappings around there, there was gangs and there was drugs and there was crime. And I jumped right in hook, line, and sinker, of course. And at that point, we, We, me and the guys I hung with, we started a gang to protect ourselves from other gangs. And then there was drugs we were selling and we were doing a little bit of stuff like that. And, you know, it's a little known fact about me. In my little association, there was armed forces in our group and the FBI.

Because I hung in crowds that if there was four guys, at least two of them were packing firearms. And the other guys with the FBI, well, all those Freebasin idiots, we kind of hung around together, you know. So that was the height of my status of hanging with drug addicts and gangsters. And that's all I knew for a while. So I was about 14 at one time, my mother got saved. It was a little church in the neighborhood. She told me, you're going to this revival. I said, okay, I'm going to revival. And then we're sitting in a seat. Mom said, go down and get saved. Well, I know enough at that point that you have to choose to get saved. Nobody can make you get saved. So I, but of course, back in that day, you didn't say no to mama. So I went down there and as I'm walking down there, I can almost vividly remember my prayer. I said, God, I like gangs. I like girls. I like low riders. I like hanging out on the corner drinking. They didn't give us 40 ounces in my day. You can only get 32 ounces. If you got a court, they wouldn't trust you with 40. So I liked that stuff. And I said, God, you give me seven years and I'll serve you.

Well, by then I'm getting more and more in drugs. And you know when you're on drugs with all your friends, check it out, it's like, Mary go around, the melody music's playing, everybody's happy. And the ride's going up and down and up and down. But one day, old Mary got off and Klondo kept going around. You know, and when you want to use drugs, it's a whole different experience than when you have to use drugs. So when I got to the have to point, I found myself 168 pounds soaking wet, cracked out of my mind in a Christian drug rehab program. And you know, one day I got down on my knees and I said, God, if you can use me, if you want this, you got it. And something struck me. I laughed and everybody didn't know what is wrong with him. Is he cracking up? I was 21. I told a jive deal prayer with God at 14, but I made a covenant. And at 21, I was in a Christian drug rehab program filled with the Holy Spirit saved. And I was kidding, but God was serious. So I was thankful. So after graduating this program, I went to South Central Los Angeles to do an internship. And I did this internship and I got prideful and everything because it was volunteer. And I went and found a job at a YWAM base, a youth with a mission base in Pasadena

as an irrigation technician. So I go there, they pay me, they give me a dorm room and a meal card. Woo, and I was like, thank God. So I'm going there and then I start partying, start going to nightclubs. So I don't have enough money. So I take a security gig with them three nights a week. And lo and behold, they gave me the keys. I had the keys to go in the women's dorm. It was like the fox guarding the hen house. And I met girls, women, young ladies from all nations. And of course, them Puerto Rican girls that was dying to meet me, I met them. And then I thought I was some kind of international player. But guess what? I was the fool being played because my life had sunk back into sin. I started using a little bit and I find myself going back to that program on a Greyhound bus all the way from California, the North Carolina, with everything I owned in a big sheet. I looked like a clown getting on and off those buses. It was humiliating. So later I went through that and I learned this is not a sprint. It's a marathon. It's a daily deal. And you know what else I learned? Things are spirits.

Lust is a spirit. So, I don't care, guys, I don't know about women, I know the psychic of men. I don't care if the women dress in a box. You know what'll happen eventually? Dude, you see the corners on that box he's wearing? You can't fix this from the outside. And that was so instrumental for me with Regen, is because I was able to fix the mess with me on the inside. See, religion, I'm putting stuff on the outside. But Regen, make amends, inventory, mentors getting vulnerable, going through the steps. People, they're priceless. I'm gonna tell you, a lot of stuff with me, because I got saved in 1982, a lot of stuff was in my rearview mirror. But you know, okay, so I didn't go to the porn site. But you know what? Some of the movies I watched left nothing to the imagination. And all us men need is imagination. So instead of full contact, I tell my wife, babe, I was playing flag porn. You know, it's like, you know, you don't get anything. And I should have picked it up, because I love music. I know Jonathan was talking about the Rolling Stones, but I love music, because these wise guys from the ancient days of the 70s, Fleetwood and Mack, you know what they said? Thunder only happens when it's raining, and players only love you when they're playing. So don't be played, and don't play ourselves, you know. Get through regen, I'm telling you, it's priceless. Me and my wife went through it together. Well, she went to the women's, and I was in the men's, but we are blessed. And I wanna end with this. If you're dealing with issues of like little lust and stuff, the Bible says, flee it, the youthful lust.

So all you gotta do is slip out the back jack, make a new plan, saying, you don't need to be Coy Roy, but listen to me, I'mma hop on the bus, Gus. We don't need to discuss much. I'mma get away from lust, Lee, and walk in victory. Thank you. I'm Tondo, and I approve of this message. God bless you. Thank you, Lord.