Red Flags and Roses Relationship | Let Conflict Build You, Not Break You | Jeremy DeWeerdt

All right. Hello, City First Church. I want to take a moment to welcome all of our locations, whether you're at Janesville right now, Cape Coral, God Behind Bars, we love you very much, and also everyone at City First Anywhere. Thank you so much for joining us. And before I jump into my message today, if it's OK, I just want to present an exciting opportunity just for a moment. If you've been watching the news at all, and especially if you live in the state line area, you know this last week we've had, well, some crazy storms that have gone through. There's been literally tornadoes in the state line area. Lots of almost kind of like Noah-like flooding. There's been all kinds of things that have been happening. And I really felt on my heart that we were supposed to, as a church, do something. This is right in the DNA of our church. If you know anything about our church, we don't just sit on the sideline, but rather instead we get outside the four walls and we do something about it. So what we want to do is I would like to present you an opportunity to give to a special fund that we are calling the Midwest Disaster Relief Fund. And if you would like to give to that, what we're going to do is we are going to take these monies and we are going to help people that

have been impacted by either the tornadoes or the flooding in our area. And the reason I'm asking all of the locations to do it is because we are one church in multiple places. And I remember even with Cape Coral when Hurricane Ian went through, the entire church came and surrounded that location. Well, we have a location in Janesville, Wisconsin, where the flooding was very, very bad. By God's grace, our church is good. It's OK. We just had a little bit of water, but not bad. Not bad at all. But a lot of the surrounding neighborhoods and a lot of the people that are there, residents of that city, not so fortunate. And there is some significant damage and they've been displaced and things like that. So what we are going to do is as a church, I'm giving us an opportunity to actually not just pray, prayer is important, but also put faith and works together. We're going to do something about it. Because people need more than our prayers. They need our tangible help. So even if all of us just did a little, like literally, if all of us at all the locations, thousands of people, just did a little cumulatively, it would make a massive impact. And so there's a QR code that's on the screen right now. If you want to take your smartphone,

you want to give to it. We are going to take this offering and over the next couple of weeks, we are going to invest it into giving lift to people that have been impacted by these Midwest storms. And we want to be a church that actually comes in the name of Jesus and says, we are here to help. So I want to encourage you to do it. If you need to pray about it, you can go to our website later. There'll be a little banner. It says Midwest Relief Fund. And you can give to that. And I can't wait to see what God is going to do. When you meet a tangible need, many times that opens up people's heart to a greater spiritual need, if that makes sense. So we come with a cup of cold water in Jesus's name. And if you agree with me, go ahead and put your hands together. Come on. This is the church being the church, right? Thank you. All right. Well, we're in a series called Red Flags and Roses. We're talking about relationships this month. Man, I'll tell you, this is a great, great series. Kyle kicked us off last week. Relationships can bring great joy.

And relationships can also bring, well, great pain, right? If I were to ask your favorite memory, it's probably involving a person. If I were to ask your most painful memory, it probably would involve a person. Your best moments have names, and your worst moments have names, too. In fact, your greatest joys that you've ever felt probably involve a person or a group of people. And I would say that even the regret or even the deepest pains that you carry, that you feel like you're scarred by, probably involves a person or a group of people also. My point is in this. Relationships are the stuff life is made of. And there's going to be these moments. And we need to know how to navigate the good and the painful moments. So today, I'm going to talk about a subject that I guarantee you 10 out of 10 of you have experienced in your relationships, whether it be a romantic relationship or a best friend relationship or a working relationship or a classmate or a neighbor or a family member. I guarantee you've experienced this. And we're going to talk about how to navigate it well. The topic today is on conflict, in other words, where two parties disagree and they cannot. find the same page. I've entitled my message today, Let Conflict Build You, Not Break You.

Whether it be, again, marriage or romantic, dating, whether it be your family, whether it be your friendship group, the people you work with every day, your neighbor, the person you go to school with every day, you are going to encounter seasons where there is conflict in that relationship. I would bet my entire life savings on it, because I don't think anybody goes through this life without having conflicts in their relationships. So why is conflict unavoidable? The reason why conflict is unavoidable is because you are not married to you. And you are not dating you. And you are not working with you. And you are not going to school with you. And you don't live next door to you. And you're, you know, it's the fact that the person that you're in conflict with is not you. They fake different. They see the world different. They act different. And in fact, this is the thing. There would probably be no conflict if you just married you. But that's not the way it works. And even if it's not about the fact that someone else is different than you, conflict can come into relationships because of how people act, what they say, what they do, what they don't do.

All of these things lead to conflict. So what do you do when conflict bubbles up in a relationship, whatever relationship it is in your life? Well, I'm going to give you an example today out of the Bible of two individuals who are Christ followers that fell in the conflict. Now, you're going to notice this in the story. Everyone involved in this story is going to heaven. Every person involved in the story I'm about to tell you loves Jesus. But there was a major, major divide in their friendship and in their relationship. They cannot find the same page on this issue. And so we pick it up in Acts chapter 15. And this is a story of a man by the name of Paul and another one by the name of Barnabas. It says this. After some time, Paul said to Barnabas, let's go back and visit each city where we previously preached the word of the Lord to see how the new believers are doing. Barnabas agreed and wanted to take John Mark. But Paul disagreed strongly. This is a nice way of going, Paul's going, no way. No conversation. The decision is made. John Mark is not coming. Since John Mark had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in their work,

their disagreement was so sharp that they separated. Barnabas took John Mark with him and sailed for Cyprus. Paul chose Silas. And as he left, the believers entrusted him to the Lord's gracious care. Now, to truly understand the story, we need to dive into these characters a little bit more. You need a little bit of background. The apostle Paul was probably the greatest church planner in the Bible. In the New Testament, he planted all kinds of churches in the Mediterranean region. He wrote all kinds of letters that we now call books. But before he was a Christian, he was actually a very highly educated. He had kind of gone to the Harvard level seminary of the day. He was a highly educated religious leader called a Pharisee. And he hated Christians. He hated Christ followers. He hated them so much that he would hunt them down. He would imprison them. He would even authorize them being executed. He was not a good guy at all. And he was known around the area, very famously known, as a person to be scared of. And then one day, he's going to this city called Damascus. He's walking on a road, and he has a supernatural encounter with Jesus Christ.

And at that moment, his whole life changes. You could say he got saved at that point. He gave up his old life, and he became a Christian. But here's the problem. The Christians in that first century church, when they heard about Paul, his original name was Saul, when they heard Saul had become a Christian, they didn't believe it. In fact, in Acts chapter 9, it says this. It says when Saul, or Paul, his name changed to Paul, arrived in Jerusalem, he tried to meet with the believers, or the Christ followers, but they were all afraid of him. They did not believe he had truly become a believer. were. Then Barnabas, here's the other person in the story, brought him to the apostles and told them how Paul had seen the Lord on the way to Damascus and how the Lord had spoken to Paul. And then he says, he also told them that Paul had preached boldly in the name of Jesus in Damascus. So what's going on here? Well, during this time in church history, the church is very young at this point. It's spreading like wildfire all across the known world at that time. But actually, Christianity was deemed illegal in the Roman Empire. It was not a recognized religion. On top of that, you had the Jewish religious people,

the Pharisees, and the Sadducees, and people like that, that are also trying to hunt down these Christ followers. So you had the government that was against them, and you also had the religious leaders of the day that are against these Christians. And what would happen is very frequent, actually, as you read history, that there were people that would fake becoming a Christian to find out where the Christians were meeting in secret, because they were having to hide. They couldn't have open church services like what we're having. They were having to meet underground, you could say. And so people would fake becoming a Christian, get invited to these church services, and then leave the church services and rat out all the people to the government or to the religious leaders of the day. And then those people would be persecuted, imprisoned. Some of them would even be killed. So if you are a first century Christian, you are a little skittish on purpose and for a reason. And so Saul, who would become Paul, is going around and persecuting these people. And he's now in Jerusalem, and he's, quote unquote, saved. And the people in Jerusalem that are a part of the church, many of them, now think about this, many of them, their relatives, their friends, their fellow church members might have been persecuted, imprisoned, and even killed

because of Paul. And now Paul shows up in their church service saying, I'm a Christ follower. And they're like, we don't believe you. We don't believe you. Barnabas is a Christian leader in the church, and he basically stands in front of the apostles, and he says this. These are the church leaders, the Jesus church leaders. And basically, he says, I can vouch that Saul, now Paul, has given his life to Jesus. I will put my neck out on the line, you could say, and stretch my neck out and say, he is saved. I will risk my reputation by standing with Paul and vouching he is truly a Christ follower. Now, Barnabas and Paul are friends, and they begin this beautiful friendship. They start planting churches all over the Mediterranean area. They're preaching the gospel to unknown people groups that had never heard about Jesus before. And this friendship blooms. It's full of trust. It's full of camaraderie, Christ-like love, working in the mission of building the church together. In fact, most Bible scholars would say, from the moment of Paul's conversion until the verse that I just read you about their disagreement was about 10 years. Now, when you think about this, this is 10 years of a close friendship

that now is in a conflict. Paul is wanting to go back, and he's wanting to visit all the churches they planted. And Barnabas is like, this is a great idea. Let's bring John Mark. Now, John Mark, otherwise known as Mark, he eventually becomes the author of the gospel of Mark. In the New Testament, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. This is that Mark. This is him. But it's earlier when he's younger. And John Mark, he did something that really ticked off Paul. In fact, we don't know what it is, but in Acts chapter 13, it basically says this. And Paul and his companions had then left Paphos and by ship to Pamphylia. Landing at the port of Perga, there John Mark left them and returned to Jerusalem. This is all we know. We don't know why. Maybe John Mark had a legitimate reason for bailing on the mission's trip and catching a boat back home to Jerusalem. Or maybe he was just a wuss. We don't know. We don't know if all of a sudden he just had a legitimate reason for going home or not. But this is the thing. Paul's interpretation of this is that. John Mark had deserted them.

So Paul is not agreeing with why John Mark had to go home. Now, this event of John Mark going home takes place two to three years before Paul now is wanting to go back to all these churches and Barnabas is like, let's do it and let's bring John Mark. So two or three years goes by since John Mark bailed, but Paul has a super good memory. And Paul is like, no way. He's not coming with us on this trip. This trip is too important to have someone who's a deserter to come on this thing. Now, Barnabas advocates for John Mark. He thinks he should go. Barnabas has grace because even if John Mark had made a mistake, Barnabas is seen past John Mark's failures and giving grace to him and wanting to give him a second chance. Does this sound familiar at all? Barnabas giving grace to somebody? Huh, Paul? Right? Paul's the recipient of Barnabas's grace, but this time Paul's not having it. So why do I tell you this background? Because I want to paint for you, we read this verse and we go, yeah, they had a disagreement. No, no, no. Paul and Barnabas are not neighbors that live five houses down from each other and only see each other four times a year.

They are close. They are blood brothers. There's a lot of years, a decade's worth of friendship here, and they cannot get on the same page regarding the John Mark situation. Paul disagreed strongly. Their disagreement was so sharp that they separated. Now, if you actually go into the Greek language, which was what the New Testament was originally written in. It wasn't originally written in English. It was written in Greek. And sometimes when you take the Greek and you translate it into our English Bibles, it loses a little color. So I went back and I looked at the Greek words about disagreement and sharp disagreement, and they couldn't land on the same page. These are statements that the Greek words inform us in English. Sharp disagreement. Intense irritation. Emotional outbursts. An explosion of feeling. We get the impression that Paul and Barnabas possibly are yelling at each other. This is not like we're at a coffee shop disagreeing. Words were had. Things were said. There is a relational rupture taking place in a decade-long friendship.

Now, let me stop there for a moment. Does this story remind any of you of any relational conflicts that you've ever had? Hurt, anger, yelling, frustration, can't find resolution, nobody's giving up ground. Some of you are like, yeah, all those things. Last Christmas dinner. Right? See, your best moments have names. And your worst moments have names, too. Paul and Barnabas agreed to disagree. You ever done that with somebody? I had to do that this week with somebody. I'm like, well, I'm going to have to agree to disagree with you. And then they went their separate ways. This 10-year partnership and friendship in the mission of the church. This is not like they just bump into each other once in a while. This is Barnabas who put his neck on the line and his reputation on the line for Paul. Here's Paul, who is with Barnabas, planted churches all over the known world. And 10 years in, they're like, you know what? It's best you go that way with Mark, and I'm going this way with Silas. This amazing friendship is now full of tension and disagreement. And if we're going to be honest, this isn't just their story. It's ours, too.

I used to think when I was in high school, to be like, we're going to be friends forever, you know? Uh-uh, right? That doesn't happen. And then in college, it's like, oh, we're all buds. You know, it's funny. 30-plus years after my wedding and the people that stood up with Jen and I in our wedding, many of them, we don't have disagreements with them. Some of them, we do. But We rarely talk to many of them. Life goes on. Things happen. You have disagreements. But what happens when those disagreements are full of hurt and wrong choices and raw emotions? What happens when there is conflict in that marriage? What happens when you and the person you're dating cannot find common ground? What happens when you and your coworker, or the business partner you're in business with, or your best friend, or the person that you go to school with, or the neighbor next door to you, that, you know what? It's not like you can just move away from them. What happens when the conflict comes into those places? Oh, I'm glad you asked, because I'm going to talk about it today. I took the first half of this message to build the backstory of this conflict, because this is no small conflict. This is a completely nuclear situation. So what is the first thing we should do? Well, it's going to seem a little Pollyanna, what I'm going to tell you. But the first thing is, you need to expect conflict, because people are imperfect. And I know it sounds like, okay, Jer, give me a little more than that. No, no, no, no, no. You got to start there. Because I think sometimes we think the people we're friends with, the people we're married to, the people we're dating, the people that we do life with, we go to school with, like, you know what? It will never happen. There's never going to be these conflicts. There may be, because people are imperfect. In fact, the half-brother of Jesus, James, we just studied him last month, said this. He said, what causes quarrels and what causes fights among you, is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?

You're passionate about certain things. You passionately believe certain things. You passionately are going to dig your heels in the ground about certain things. And the other person does too. See, conflict happens when we realize everyone involved is deeply flawed, including you. Including you. Inside the conflict, there is sin, there's pride, there's past wounds, there might be relational PTSD. There's also, like, maybe even, like, bad decisions that were made. And it's all spun into this cocktail of division. And some of the conflicts, some of them, only one person really is at fault. That is possible. It is possible that one person is wrong and one person is right. In other conflicts, everybody's wrong. But you will find, inside of every argument, you will find imperfection. You will find the conflict doesn't just happen because we're different. It happens because we're broken. We're broken. Now, I leave you with that on point one. I'm not going to develop that much more, but that's the baseline. The baseline is, most likely, nobody's perfect in the conflict. Second thing is this. That means we need to own our part. Own your part, even when it's not all your fault. You got to own your part. See, there is a responsibility that you have in the conflict. Matthew chapter 7, Jesus says, it's very famous. We don't like it because he gets pretty firm. But he says, he goes, why worry about a speck in your friend's eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend? How can you think about saying it to your spouse? How can you say it to your boyfriend or girlfriend? How can you say it to your best friend, your business partner? Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye when you can't see past the log in your own eye. Oh. Then what does he go? Hypocrite. Thanks, Jesus. Right? Jesus woke up and he's like, hey, I'm shooting straight today when he's talking to these believers and he's talking to us. Hypocrite. Get rid of the log in your own eye. Then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend's eye. He's insinuating there, there is fault in that other person. But first, vet yourself. First, objectively look at yourself. You engage differently in a conflict when you have an objective view of your own faults. And we can become hyper fixated on the speck or the faults in the other person's eye that we're so blind to our very own. This happens all the time on social media. Go to any comment section of anything and you will find this is the tone. Ready? Here it is. You all are idiots. I'm right. Right? the tone. But we can carry that into our conflicts

and our personal conflicts, too. You're the one acting like an idiot. I'm right. Well, here's the thing. Maybe you are. Like, I mean, genuinely. Maybe the other person literally is a bona fide idiot, OK? Like, it may be true. Or maybe it's not all the way true. Maybe you have contributed towards this conflict, maybe not in the moment, but leading up to it. See, spiritual maturity begins where blame ends. So the minute that we say, you know what? I'm going to self-assess, what have I contributed to this? Now all of a sudden, I can build in me a spiritual maturity. And then on top of that, I could probably engage the conflict a little bit more rationally and objectively. You see, in this story with Paul and Barnabas, we automatically think Paul was the right one. Why? Because, well, he was the great apostle. And he wrote the majority of what we now call the New Testament. So obviously, he's the right one. Well, we forget this. Paul was not Jesus. Jesus didn't sin, but Paul was flawed. So was he at fault? Was he so much of a type A leader,

so prideful that John Mark screwed up, and he's like, well, you're now dead to me. You're now on the outside. And maybe Barnabas is the right one, going, no, no, no. Paul, I remember when your name was Saul, and you actually did really heinous things, and I stuck up for you. But here's the thing. I'm going to stick up now for good old John Mark, because, yeah, he did a young, dumb thing, but he deserves a second chance. Now, obviously, I'm reading in the story there. I'm not saying that's exactly what happened, because we don't know. But who's right? Was it Paul? Was it Barnabas? I don't know. I mean, I don't know. I don't know who's right. But here's the thing. Even if you're not at fault in the conflicts you're in, sometimes it's true. You literally are not at fault. You still have a responsibility in how you respond. That you must own. You cannot delegate that, and you cannot give yourself permission to do sinful things because someone sinned against you. You just can't do it.

You have to own your part. You are not responsible for their actions, but you are responsible for your reactions. In other words, your responses. Yeah, you give that a round of applause. OK, so point one, everybody's flawed. Point two, own your own zone. Own whatever it is that's you, your responsibility, whether it's in the conflict or how you respond. Number three, engage with wisdom, not retaliation. Oh, man, this one is hard. I'm going to be honest with you, because I am an Enneagram 8 and a type A leader. I'm like a go, charge the mountain kind of person. And I will say, when it comes to conflict, everything inside of me screams, I'm going to win. Now, you're all looking at me like you're saints, but you ain't saints, because I know you want to win too. When you're in the conflict, you want to be the one that's right. You want the other person to go, oh, gee, Jerry, you're right. You're always right. I remember a story, and I got permission to tell this from Jen. Caden, who is our oldest, who's now a pastor on staff, phenomenal leader, and a brilliant mind. He, yeah, you can give that a round of applause. When he was really young, really, really young, like before even middle school, throughout middle school, part of high school, he was kind of a punk. And here's the thing. He was very witty, like he is now,

but his wit was kind of tied with that whole adolescent thing going on, right? And so him and Jen would just get into it. I mean, he would push all of Jen's buttons, and he was an expert at it. Like literally, I would hear them, and they would be talking, and all of a sudden, there would be an argument, it'd be escalating, and Caden would say things, and he knew how to do it. He would say things that would just fire mom up, man. And all of a sudden, Jen would just start like, she would escalate it, and it would just kind of keep doing this kind of thing. I remember one time, it got real. really escalated. And I remember Caden said something that was like lighting the fuse that was this long on the stick of dynamite in Jen's heart. And I mean, Jen just was like, what? And they started to go at it. And I'm like, oh, this is kind of getting, like this is another level. And I remember I walked in, and I literally came behind Jen, and I picked her up. And as Jen and Caden are arguing, I walk Jen out of the room. And the whole time, she's like. Again, I got permission to tell this story. You know, sometimes when we make it all about winning, we lose. Because Jen would always say to me, he can't have the last word.

He's 13 years old. I'm the mom. Sometimes when we make it all about winning or retaliation, we actually can lose. And remember this. In every war, every physical war between two nations, there are casualties on both sides. You will never get into a conflict. And when you make it about retaliation and just about winning, you will never leave that battle without some casualties, maybe internally or maybe people around you. What I do appreciate about Paul and Barnabas, I appreciate this a lot. If you read the scripture, nothing in there insinuates they went scorched earth on each other. Like they just allowed the disagreement to be the disagreement, and then they went their separate ways. Both men thought the other one was grossly wrong, but they left it there. And so many times when there's a conflict, each party starts throwing grenades, verbal grenades, actions, retaliation. And there's a blast zone. But unfortunately, when those grenades detonate, the other party is not the one that only takes the shrapnel. So do children, and family members, and friends, and co-workers, and neighbors, and fellow students. They take on shrapnel too. They're just in the vicinity of it.

Because what happens is the two people decide to go, they decide to go scorched earth on each other, and they start gossiping about each other. They start getting allies, like there's team Paul and team Barnabas. See, Paul and Barnabas didn't do that. Sometimes though, we talk bad about the other person. We try to get even. We start thinking, how can I make that other person's life miserable? See, if you go there, there will be casualties, not just on the other side, but in your heart and in your camp too. Romans 12 says this, never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. Oh man, so you got to take a deep breath. Yeah, you can give that a round of applause if you want. So hard. But you got to take a deep breath. You got to assess the situation. You got to pray, God, give me wisdom. And then, then you speak. Or maybe you don't. That's an option too. When Jesus was accused, the Bible says that he stayed silent. Sometimes you just don't talk. Looks like the other person won. But you know if you talk, no one's going to win, including

you. You pray and you ask for wisdom, and then you take action. Or you don't. Then you respond. Or prayerfully, maybe you don't. It's a case by case situation. Sometimes God will say, this is what I want you to do, and this is how I want you to do it. And sometimes he'll just say, stay silent. Don't do anything. I'm moved by the real life story of Abraham Lincoln. Yeah, obviously, no. I mean, he was over this nation when it was incredibly divided and in a civil war. And literally, one half the nation wanted him dead, and they eventually succeeded at that. But there were all kinds of enemies that the president had. And Abraham Lincoln, he would historically, accounts, write what he called hot letters, H-O-T, hot letters. He would sit down, and when somebody accused him of something, somebody betrayed him, somebody was trying to, you know, get at him, he would write a letter to that person, unedited and raw, and then he would fold it up and throw it in a drawer. Never mailed it. In fact, he'd later on come back and he would write on the outside of the letter, never sent, never signed. Sometimes he would actually take those letters, he'd burn them. See, what he did is he processed his anger privately so he wouldn't weaponize it publicly. And so many times in our world right now, people are weaponizing their hurt and their anger publicly, and people

are taking shrapnel. Innocent people are. Do everything in such a way so that people will say, you're honorable. You're honorable. Because here's why I want to tell you that. Your reputation five and ten years from now is more important than you winning this battle today. May wisdom and not wrath guide you. May truth and not emotion lead you. And may patience, not impulse, define you. Some of you need to take a screenshot of that right now. As we close, don't let conflict ruin you. Let God refine you. Now, that statement feels a little cheesy. Feels like a bumper sticker. But not every conflict gets restored. And not every disagreement gets resolved. There are conflicts in my past of very close people I journeyed with for a long time that we really don't talk now. I'm not saying that they're right and I'm wrong or I'm right and they're wrong. But there was a conflict, and we like Paul and Barnabas, we couldn't land on the same page, and so we've kind of gone our separate ways. And this is what I know. Someday in heaven, we'll probably be best friends. But on this side, it all can't go back in the box. It just can't. Things were said. Actions took place. Like trust was broken. You just can't be like, oh, it didn't happen. No, it did happen. And we have agreed that Paul's going to take Silas. Barnabas is going to take John Mark. You'll have these in life. And every conflict does something, though. It shapes you. Whether it is resolved, the conflict gets resolved. Whether it gets restored or not, it shapes you. So here's my question. How are you being shaped? Is it making you look more like Jesus? Or is it making you look more like your old self? Because difficult situations will push you either closer to Christlikeness or further away, but they do not leave you the same. Genesis chapter 50, the

person said this, you intended to harm me, to the person that created conflict, but God intended it all for good. In other words, you can't control the outcome, but with God's help, you can control who you become. You can let the conflict shape you into the person that you should be, or you can allow the conflict to blow you up. Don't let conflict break you. Instead, let conflict build you. So I say this, I go, let conflict build you, not break you. I know that's easy to say, but here's the thing. I remember this, and I'm going to close with this story. There was a really trusted person in my life that I felt like betrayed me. Now, this person would have a different story, but I felt very hurt by some of the things that they did, so much so that it couldn't go back in the box. And I remember there was a third friend by the name of Monty, who told me something I will never forget in that season. He said this, he goes, Jeremy, you are a relational leader. He says, you're a good leader, you're a relational leader. This situation is going to make you tempted to no longer be a relational leader, but be rather an authoritative leader, where you use position to move people to do things rather than relationship. And he told me, he goes, don't you dare allow this situation to make you into someone you're not. not designed to be. Don't you dare do that. And I have remembered that piece of life advice that was so critical in a time that I was so angry and hurt. I remember that like it was yesterday. And so there are times that I've just chosen. I'm like, God, you have made me into a relational leader.

It's my superpower. And I refuse to allow the enemy to create this conflict and destroy my superpower and make me into some type of another leader. Rather, I need to be shaped into who I'm supposed to be in Christ, not who the enemy wants me to now be, walling up, distancing myself from people, not trusting anybody. Instead, continually taking the risk of relationship. What is it for you? The conflict is shaping you. Who do you want to be on the other side of that conflict? Let's pray. Heavenly Father, I just thank you. I thank you that, God, you will allow conflict to build us. In fact, it says in Romans 8 28 that you will turn around everything for good, for those that are devoted, those that are committed, those that are focused on you. So, Lord, these situations that are not good, you can turn them around for good. You will not waste pain. You will not waste conflict. Lord, I just pray that you would help us to choose the right way of engaging conflict so that we become more like Christ. God, give us strength. Because some of this I'm preaching to people right now that they are in the middle of it. And it's hurtful, it's frustrating,

it's created anger. God, I pray my words would be like a healing balm that would come around that situation. And Lord, if there could be restoration, help it to happen. And if there can't be restoration, then I pray build my friend. Don't allow the conflict to break them. Lord, we thank you. We love you. In Jesus' name. And everybody said, amen, amen, amen. All right. Well, hey, maybe you're watching today and are hearing about Jesus for the very first time in a relationship with Him. That is the most important relationship that you can have, is the relationship of following Jesus. And oftentimes, there's distance between us and Jesus. The Bible would call that sin, which basically just means that we've missed the mark. But that's why Jesus came and He died and rose again, so that we can have a relationship with Him. And I just want to simply lead you in a prayer today that is asking for God's grace and inviting Him into your life and beginning a relationship with Him. So if you want to do that today, you can simply just pray this prayer with me. Say, dear Lord, I know I've made mistakes, and I need your forgiveness.

I believe that you died for my sin. I invite you to be the leader and forgiver of my life. In Jesus' name, amen. Amen. Well, if you're making that decision today, we just want to take a moment and say congratulations, because it is the best decision that you can make. And that's the most important relationship that you have in your life. And we want to come alongside you and help you on this journey of following Jesus. If you scan that QR code, we have a free resource that we would love for you to take advantage of. It's over the next 14 days. It's going to help you learn a little bit more about that decision that you're making today. I love that, too. And also, after you finish that new beginning resource, we invite you to jump into Growth Track. Growth Track starts at the beginning of each month. And also, too, if you're online, you can start it even as soon as this week. So hop online, figure out when you're able to jump in on that. Scan that QR code, jump into Growth Track. It's a great way to discover your divine design and your divine gifts. That's right. And around here, we believe in the power of prayer. So if you have a prayer request, no matter how big or small,

we would love to take a moment and pray specifically for your request. If you jump on the City First app or the website, you can submit your prayer request there. That's right. And Pastor Jeremy had such a powerful message today. We want to invite you to come back next week. Again, if you're in town and you're able to and you're a lady, we'd love to have you at Original Conference this week. But next Sunday, we've got Charlotte Gamble in the house with us. So invite your friends, your family. Make sure that you get here. It's going to be such an exciting Sunday. We love you guys. We're praying for you. And we'll catch you next week. Have a great week.