Podcast Panel | Victory Church

Well, hey, Victor Church, we're so glad and so honored that you're taking time out of your day to join us in this very unique, different format. And I hope that you're warm. I hope you've got a blanket cuddled up. I hope you're not outside because this is a really bad weekend to be outside. And here we are pivoting as a church and our campuses are closed this weekend. Our Gravine campus, we weren't even allowed to meet. And so here we are doing this online. We're grateful for technology. And what we want to do is have a very authentic, real conversation. And sometimes life interrupts us. And this is one of those weekends. And what I love to think is that God uses interruptions to do things really powerful that are unexpected. And we're all here unexpected. I had hoped to be preaching another message this weekend, but here we are. And we just thought it'd be kind of fun to do a different format and to slow down and kind of review and recap the last three weeks of our church. And it's been a unique several weeks of different types of sermons. If you remember, I'll cover those in just a moment, but we talked about how we're not in a season where you're just going week to week. And God kind of started doing something cool after the first couple of weeks. And we're just going to talk about that. We think sometimes it's important to slow down and to really digest and process the things we've been hearing for the last couple of weeks. So here we are. We've been interrupted by Snowmageddon, and so we're just going to talk about the last three weeks. And so I'm excited to have familiar faces with me that most of you would know, Pastor Oscar to my left, Pastor Rhonda, and Pastor Wade, and we're just going to hang out and

chat. So laid back, very podcast-esque. And so I'm excited to just hang out with you guys. Awesome. Oscar, say something smart. I have nothing. That's probably, you know, oh, I, it is well, that's the only thing is, I think that's very smart for me to say. I see what you did there. So that's a good segue, Oscar. Look how smart you are. Let's, let's just real quickly recap. I'm certainly not going to re-preach those three messages. But week one really came around this theme and this idea of it is well. And we talked about Horatio Spafford, who wrote the song It Is Well With My Soul. And then we looked at the Shunammite woman and how she uttered those words to her husband. She uttered those words to Elisha's servant, where she was going through a very difficult situation. Her child had been killed, or not killed, had died. And she utters those words, it is well, and how we can say those words and it inspires trust in God. We can forgive others by uttering that word. Second week, we talked about I was wrong. Remember the fun one? We all repeat it. Let's all say it together. You are wrong. My wife told me, whenever you preach that message, I looked over at Tara and I said, I'm so glad you're here to listen to this message. She looked back at me.

That went good. And she says, well, I'm so glad you've heard it twice today. Somebody stopped me the other day and they said, hey, John, could you preach a message next weekend called I was right? So we looked at I was wrong, and we unpacked the idea that Saul, before he was Paul on the Damascus Road, he thought he was right. He was what he thought was doing God's work, and then turns out he was wrong. I presented this idea and this thought that maybe the most right things that ever happened to our life is because we were first wrong. So why is everybody so obsessed with being right when maybe wrong is the most righteous thing you could ever be? Because being wrong is what leads you into righteousness, coming to the discovery of I was wrong. Last but not least, last weekend, I preached a sermon called I'm Being Jealous. And we studied that passage in James chapter 3, verse 16, and basically says wherever jealousy and selfish ambition, wherever you find jealousy and selfish ambition, you will find disorder and evil of every kind. And so we looked at that idea of jealousy on all these different fronts and angles. So it's been a very unique series of messages that I had no intention of walking towards, but the Lord just kind of led those. And I've got one I'm excited to bring next week. I was going to bring it this week, but I actually like this, that we can just pause and kind of reflect and unpack some of that. So if I could take those three, and you guys can tell me what you think about this, if simplify those three things and the work it's doing in our heart. So those three things, it is well, I was wrong, I'm being jealous. What I've said every week is those are things that make us better humans in a sense, but each of those three things hit a certain area of our life. So what I would say is it is well really boils down to trust. What I'm saying is when I say it is well, I'm saying I don't trust this world or the

circumstances, I trust God when I say it is well. I was wrong is a work of humility in our hearts to say I need to be humble and focus on humility. And then I'm being jealous, I would say is really unpacking this idea of honesty, that I need to be honest with myself. I need to have moments of clarity where let's just call a spade a spade. What am I doing? I'm being jealous. So I don't know where to go from here, guys. Let's just wrap it up. Let's pray. I just, I want to open it up and just us have a conversation about it. I've had some guiding thoughts and questions, but I'd rather it just be organic. I'm still unpacking each one of them because I mean, I love how our church responded from conversations that I have with people in the lobby. Well, they were saying, can Pastor John, please stop peeking into our souls and bringing all our dirty laundry. So I think that's a comment. One lady said to me, we please stop stomping on our toes. I was like, I don't, I hope it's not stomping because I'm stomping on my own toes. But I understood what she meant. Yeah. But I agree. Like I felt like there's been more feedback, not that I need that, but there's been, seems like there's been more feedback in the lobbies and online, stuff like that. Why do you guys think that is? Like why? I think it's because these topics make us kind of get real with real issues that we deal with. Yeah. And I think that, you know, when you, when you, when you think about specifically, like

I'm being, I'm wrong or I'm being jealous, those are really difficult things to admit, but we all deal with them and they're not things that I remember being a part of a whole message. Like an entire message was, was crafted for that, but it was maybe pieces. You'll hear those little pieces, but I think people are really just, they want to get into the real issues. Yeah. And those things all apply, not just to big moments in our life, but little ones too. Every day, you know, there's an opportunity every day to kind of self-examine in those areas. So it's, it's just been, I've thought of it daily since then. There's moments where I'm like, I'm being jealous and it's, it's just, and, and it leads into, well, I was wrong. You know what I mean? Like I can, they're, they're very practical. You can just walk it out. Well, and by the way, in the midst of this conversation, those of you watching right now, we have people online to, to interact with you. And so, but honestly, I'm going to be online too. This is not a live recording. I'm going to be online too. We're all going to be kind of online and I would like to engage in a conversation with you online. Like you chat right now, like, why was it impactful to you? Why did it seem different? Why? Or you can just say they weren't impactful to me at all, whatever, whatever. But like if it was impactful, why is that? And one, it helps us all learn, but also helps me learn what hits and what as a communicator, what seems to be working.

So, so I just say that to say, interact right now. Tell us where you're from. Tell us where you're watching from. Tell us what you're doing. You know? So, so interact right now with us. Tell us where you were wrong. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I love even, uh, I think this message, I love that we started the year with this, with this sort of a vibe, uh, cause even my kids that I've got to hear that message and their friends, those phrases are coming out through our conversation. So it's something that touches everyone at some point. For some reason, the Holy Spirit said we need to, we need to start this year. Not just it. Yes, we need resolutions. Yes, we need goals, but this is some inner work that we need to do some self-reflection like Rhonda said, and that it's important for this year. I feel like there's a pressure even in our world to be right and it's almost an identity thing where it's like, I got to fake it till I make it and at least look like I know what I'm doing. It's almost like a message like that gives you permission to just be like, no, it's okay. Maybe it's okay to be wrong and I don't always have to be right. I don't know. Maybe there's something disarming about it. I don't, I don't. Even ask yourself that question. You have a conversation with family or friends and you go away and say, man, that perspective was different.

Is there anywhere that I was wrong? Even just being curious about our own life, I think can lighten up this. sense that I have to be right all the time. So it gives us a way out. Well, and even if we remember what you talked about in It Is Well, it's an invitation from the Lord to not have to pretend that God is not scared about our insecurities or when things are chaotic in our lives. Social media, it feels like most of it is just people pretending that everything's great, perfect, and everything's going right. But in our relationship with Jesus, He's saying, no, I can handle your nasty. I can handle your doubts. But it's bringing that in recognition of who He is. And you say pressure, like with the social media, not just pressure to be right, but there's a pressure that you receive from feeling like you have to carry yourself that way. It's anxious. And that's why I think so many people, there's just this heightened level of anxiety. And you see it coming out of social media and how volatile it is. Because when you're not right, then now you're having to prove that you're right, even when you know that you're not. That's the thing. Well, I've even noticed as I scroll through Instagram or whatever, even after that message, it's like, when I see someone on Instagram that's adamant about how right they are, I might even allow that to affect me. I get upset because that person's so stupid for demand. No, you're not right. And if I'm not careful, I'm going to be tempted to comment, you're wrong because this. And I don't know, it's just even shaped my perspective of how I receive someone insisting that they're right. I see this happening a lot with people who think LeBron Jameson is the ghost and I feel like I have to defend Michael Jordan. All the time. It's an ongoing thing in my house. They're just wrong. I don't need to defend him. He just look at his life and his stats and it's all taken care of. But still, I'm tempted by that. Well, just look at the facts, okay? Let's just talk about how right we are right now. But what you're saying though, it disarmed, when someone takes the different approach and they actually don't carry themselves like they're right, or they admit that they may be, maybe I don't have all the answers here. It's disarming. It's actually more engaging. You draw me in to want to listen to you more. If you're coming at me with the posture of, Hey, this is what I sense and feel and believe. And I believe the facts point to this, but maybe I'm wrong. I'm actually more drawn into the conversation than wanting to fight. I love how Wade sometimes, sometimes it starts his sentences with saying, Hey guys,

I'm not sure I believe wholeheartedly what I'm about to say. I don't even know if I agree with what I'm about to say, but here it is. I'm not sure I like it because the truth and I'm being honest. I'm not real sure I'm going to like what I'm about to say, but, but I think that's a, that's a good starting point in any, in any facet of our lives that we'd still, that we come up with just like humility saying, Hey, I don't have it all together. Here's where I'm at. So I have a little game we can play. So, and then we can unpack it more. Um, so you guys have all preached. You're all preachers. And every time you preach a message, there's always more content than there is time. And then there's also like, if I could do that over again, I would add this or take this away every Monday. Yeah. And so each one of these sermons, I've got some, some notes here that I've made that like maybe something that I didn't talk a lot about, but in hindsight, it could have been good. So it's almost like a addition, you know, an addendum to the message in a sense. Um, so let's talk about it as well. All right. It is well, the Shunammite woman. Uh, I, I think the part about that story that strikes me the most is that her husband challenges her on, why are you going to see the prophet? It's not, you know, it's not the half moon or full moon and it's, and it's not the Sabbath or whatever it was. And all she says back is it as well. And then she goes and, and the servant comes out to meet her and says, is everything well with you? Is everything well with your husband? Is everything well with your son? And those are all very loaded questions. And all she says is it as well. And it's like something in her. And we talked a little bit about it in the message, the Jewish, Jewish culture is they really believe that their words have power. And so she didn't want to say my son's dead. She didn't want to say this is not good. This, you know, this was the worst case scenario. So it almost, there's a lesson to be learned to us. And I'm also not in the realm of, you know, I'm on my deathbed with a cold. and someone says, are you sick? You're like, no, I'm fine. There's also, we can take that too far, the whole name it, claim it thing, but there's also something to be said about the power of our words. And she decides to delay her feelings

and what she wants to say because of the faith that she wants to lead with. So she leads with her faith, not her words. And I think there's a lesson in there for all of us is, and I don't know that I get this right very often, but not leading with my mouth, but leading with my faith and the things I want to say and the things I want to lash out with and the reality, because it was the reality of the situation. Her son was dead. So I don't know, I'm impressed by her ability to delay the language and lead with faith instead of her mouth. Well, she wasn't ignoring the reality because her actions were full of faith. She was there with the prophet, but just like in the pit of the ship, she was, her words were also an act of faith, but she was willing to, she was there with the prophet. She knew there was an answer, but she wasn't letting that dictate the world that she was shaping with her words. So the discipline to be able to do that and not fall apart and say, everything's a wreck. Everything's a wreck, I don't know. She was able to still be in the middle of her situation, but also shape the world that's run. And I think we do sometimes have the power to do that, at least shifting our perspective. I'm amazed at where she went first.

She didn't go to her husband first. She didn't go to social media first. She didn't go to her friends and Waller. Like she went to God first. To the place where she knew there would be an answer. I think sometimes we tend to think burying our emotions helps me think everything's okay. And so we want to ignore so many things. And I love that the fact that her soul was anchored, even though her emotions were loud. Yeah. Yeah. Ooh, that's good, Oscar, yeah. Thank you. Thank you. It's almost like, yeah, that was. That was really good. That was the smart thing I told you to say earlier. But no, it's a good reminder for us. Yeah. That we don't have to pretend. Yeah, no. If we're anchored, there are people that have to pretend because that's all they have. They have no hope. They have nowhere to go, but we do. Yeah. Or they not pretend. They just have to let their emotions lead because they don't have hope.

And I think that's the key. The word you used was delayed. Like sometimes the most faithful thing you can do is just delay your response. Like I'm feeling my emotions, but I'm gonna delay my response. I'm gonna delay my words until I can, until something more faithful comes out. You know, and so that's what came out. She delayed the, she probably wanted to say a few things. No, it's not okay. Like you said in the message, it's not okay. But she delayed her emotional response, like you're saying, so that she could say it as well. Well, it's like Rhonda, she said she was disciplined. Yeah. And another word we may call that is spiritual maturity. There was a maturity about her faith and she let that lead and not her emotions, which was pretty powerful. We live in a culture, and I just learned this because I'm still, I guess, learning that there's this thing called image control in our culture. And you see it in social media of people trying to appear for whatever reason, because they have an audience or they have a family or they have a job or they have a relationship that they're trying to avoid people seeing the deeper side of them. And so image control is trying to cover

some hardcore realities in our lives because we're hurting, because we're doing, but I love that the fact that it was, she was surrendering even though she didn't have answers. Somehow she believed wholeheartedly. I know, I see my situation, but I know who God is. So that means that the story is not ending yet for me or for my son. Yeah, and her response, like falling down, all of that shows her deep emotion. She wasn't, there was no image control. To image control is to, she's a walk-in-their-proper, and I think that's what speaks to me. When I come across someone that I know is going through a lot of heartache, and they're real with that, but then at the same time, they say, but. And I think that's kind of what her response was. It's like, I'm falling, I'm falling down, I'm agonizing, but I'm willing to say it is well. Like there's a bigger, there's something. bigger at play here that I don't understand. So we're all practicing this and I hope you at home are still rolling that around in your mind it as well. I mean, I got to practice that this week when I saw the weather and I was like, but God, I have a sermon and I, you know, you got to fix all this so I can preach this sermon, you know, but even us not being able to gather this weekend, we're still gathering. That's what's cool. We're still gathering differently. And so even this week I had to just remind myself, nah, it is well, you know, so, so that before we go on to the next one, let's just all do it together. All right, everybody, everybody at home, say with me, say it as well. It is well, I thought you were going to sing it.

It is well, that's pretty good. Okay. So let's go to the second one. Um, less fun. I was wrong. Ooh. So I have this thought and I have a note here. I'll kind of want to glance at. So usually I think where we, how do I articulate this? I think where we resist to the idea of, I was wrong. And even what makes, I was wrong. So hard to say is because we think in our mind that it means we messed something up, that we were careless, that we were, that our motives were wrong, that I was a bad person. And what I, what I, what I want to add on to my message, I guess, part four or whatever point four would be that that's not always the case. I think, I think a lot of times we're, we're wrong, not because we were careless or evil or, you know, bad intentions. We just had blind spots because really at the end of the day, that's what, that's what Saul had. Yeah. Saul thought with every fiber of his being, he wasn't doing anything bad. He wasn't doing anything evil. He was doing something righteous. And, and I think that if I could go back and repreach that sermon, which I guess I kind of am, I would have added those two words in that I think helps bring clarity to that. Just I haven't, I had a blind spot and that's a lot easier to say than I was wrong. If I say I was wrong, I'm implying, I could be implying that I, I was deeply wrong. Like I had ill intentions and I was bad motives. No, I just had a blind spot and that's a lot more digestible. And I think, I think that that's something that happens a lot of times when we say I was wrong. Really what I'm saying is I didn't know I was wrong. I don't, I don't think I did. I just had a blind spot. Yeah. That happens to me not long ago, even with my son. It came in, something had happened and it was a mess and I reacted, which is never good, right? And reacted. And I thought it was his fault. I thought he had caused this, but I didn't have the full picture. I hate it when that happens. I know. I didn't have the full picture. I did. It actually, he was actually trying to fix what had happened. That wasn't it. And I was like, Oh, I'm the worst mom ever, you know? But really it was like, I didn't, I didn't know that often. It's just, I didn't have a full picture. I didn't know what I didn't know, or man, I'm sorry that I really, what I should have done was just be more curious. Yeah. And I should have come in saying what happened, you know, instead of just going to my opinion. So I think that that's often the case. I do too. It's funny you give that example. I can remember many times parenting where I come in, I see something and I just, you know, go off and start that. Why is this? Why is that? Why is that? And then they tell me why. And I'm like, Oh,

and it really is in that moment that you have the decision to make. Yeah. You can either do one of two things. You can say, I'm so sorry. I was wrong. Yeah. Or a lot of times what we do out of insecurity or, or we have to posture ourselves. Well, we just pivot to something else. Well, well, you know, I'm just always having to tell you. Yeah. I know this is true. Yeah. Yeah. So it's so good how, how we could just really fix things by just saying, I had a blind spot. Yeah. I'm really sorry. Yeah. I was wrong. I shouldn't have raised my voice. Right. Quickly. I know like chewing on this, like, why do, why do many of us don't like saying I am wrong. So like, at least for me, I recognize that sometimes it makes me feel exposed. It makes me feel exposed to say I was wrong, or it makes me feel unsafe because I feel like my value as a person is less, less. Yeah. Yeah. Identity. It's all, it threatens my, my identity, not just my opinion as a, as a father, as a husband, which it's something that we should say often, especially with our family, because the people that we. we love the most, but it's that invitation of not just being exposed, but just being healed and that identity. Well, everything about life is about being right. I mean, you think about it from the time you were born, like you go to school and you take a test, and when you get an answer wrong, what do they do? They take a red pen and they cross through it. And if you're at work and something you're responsible for, you have to make a decision. If you're right, the company makes money. If you're wrong, the company loses money. And so it elevates this idea of being right and being wrong to where it's just ingrained into our beings that I have to be right. It's an approval-based society. Like, you can grow up, there's consequences. You're approved of if you are starting on the,

if you're on the bench, like you're less than. And I think that, like a lot of that example, I think what we can model with our children and just as people is that, I mean, that's, again, going back to, I identify with people that are willing to admit those things, you know? And when I hear someone say that, it's so countercultural to just everything around us that it makes you stop and go, yeah, okay, I can listen to you. Like, you don't have to be right about everything. And it gives me permission to be wrong. Absolutely. And you don't want to go, like, too far down that track. Well, I'm just wrong all the time. It's okay to be wrong, so forget everything. I don't need to be right. No, we still need to try to do right and try to, you know, lead with truth and lead with integrity, but yeah. Some of that's just kind of our own awareness and listening to the Spirit or discernment or call it what you want, but like, I just want to know quickly if I have a blind spot or if I was wrong and admit it quickly and I'm easier to be around that way. That means I'm growing. I'm learning to be like Jesus more. I think we, as parents, we're all four parents here, and I think we're modeling that for our kids.

And, you know, I rarely get it 100% right. None of us do, but I really have always tried to tell my kids when I was wrong. Yeah. I'm so sorry. Dad messed this one up. I was out of line. And they're really quick to forgive, usually. So quick, yeah. Okay, I got a verse that I think. I thought I heard you rustling some pages over there. I was like, okay, here comes some. 2 Corinthians 12, nine, very familiar. He said, he has said to me, my grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness. In being wrong. Most gladly, yes. Therefore, I will rather boast about my weakness so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore, I delight in my weakness, insults and distresses and persecution and difficulties in behalf of Christ, for when I am weak, then I'm strong. So in the kingdom, humility is strength. Yeah. That's so true. When I am weak, I'm strong. Yeah. Yeah.

And so we have to remind her, okay, you know, I'm wrong, it's a good thing. It's the right thing to do. It's the same principle. When I'm wrong is whenever God, when I'm being, I should rephrase that, when I'm willing to admit I'm wrong is when I come into alignment with God's truth. Yeah. And the same is true when I admit I'm weak is the invitation for God's power to come and be used. And it's also displaying power, like it's a counter-cultural again, like for me to say I'm weak takes a lot of strength to even say. Yep. So it's like, not only am I giving an invitation for God's strength to rest on me, but I'm displaying strength by being willing to be weak. Yeah. So let's talk about the last one, just for a second. If I'm being honest, this is the one I have the hardest time with. Not doing it the most, I'm saying identifying it in myself, because it's not hard for me to, you know, things don't go my way. It's okay, it is well. God, personally, I don't have a ton of challenge

admitting that. I don't think I have a ton of difficulty admitting when I'm wrong, although I'm sure I mess that up a lot. For me, the last one is the hardest, because a lot of times I'm being jealous and I don't realize I'm being jealous. It's sneaky, you know, and it's subtle, it's something that I don't always see in myself, but it's there. And then it's very easy to just kind of dismiss it. Like, well, it's not that big of a deal. I mean, so I was a little bit jealous, who cares? But that passage really just is a gut punch of a passage. When you reminded us that it was demonic, evil of every peep, it was like a gasp, like, what? I know, I actually, at every single campus, I wasn't at Edmond, obviously, but at Grapevine Saturday night and at both the 9 and the 11 on Sunday, when I said the word, demonic. I would pause on purpose. At the nine especially, at LKC, I heard the most gasp, but every campus I heard like, oh my God. I've never seen that. So let's just read it real quick for those that weren't there. Okay. Should I read all of it? Let's go back to verse 13. It says, if you're wise and understand God's way, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good, doing good works with humility that comes from wisdom. But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don't cover up the truth with boasting and lying, which basically is calling us out, saying when there's jealousy and selfish ambition, what we're most likely to

do is cover it up with boasting and lying. Ouch. For jealousy and selfishness are not God's kind of wisdom. Such things, it lists three things. They're earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. Isn't that crazy? That selfish ambition is demonic. I mean, can we pause for a moment and just pray? It's such a powerful, powerful word. It's not ambition that's demonic, it's selfish ambition. I think that's a good point. That is a great point. You can be ambitious about something, but your motive, what's the motive there? That's so good. Because I struggled preaching the sermon because at the end of that message, you could easily walk away with, well, I guess I'm just supposed to not be competitive. I'm not supposed to try. If you're in sales, it's like, well, I don't have any ambition. I can't push myself. I can't win the competition at work because I can't be jealous. No, I think that's such a good distinction, Wade, that you can have ambition without being selfish ambition. Because passion will drive ambition. God gives us passion. We were just talking about worship a little bit ago in a meeting, and we're talking about the passion. Passion can bring this ambition, but the thing about ambition is it's just so sneaky. Jealousy plays a big part of that to make it selfish. I think that's where it gets, and you addressed that a little bit in your message too, but I think that's where that dividing line is. Why am I, what's my real motive for this? Why do I want this? Do you guys think jealousy, does jealousy lead to selfish ambition or does selfish ambition lead to jealousy? Or do they not lead to each other? I don't know. I think they both can. Yeah. I don't know. What do you guys think? Yeah, that's a great, I think selfishness, I mean, it's, I would think, I would think selfish ambition is the seed that grows into jealousy. Can you be jealous without being selfish? Probably not. No. Yeah. I feel like selfishness comes first. Yeah, I would think so. Yeah. Okay. Jealousy comes out of it all being about us. Yeah. Yeah. Look up, what is this Bible? NASB. Look up that same verse, James 3, see if yours uses the word demonic. I'm just curious. And then verse 16, I'm going to keep reading. James 3, where do you want to read? James 3, 15. You're already there? Yeah. Boy, you know your Bible. You just went right to it like you're a pastor or something. It says, this wisdom is not that which comes from down from above, but it's earthly, natural, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exists, there is disorder in every evil thing. So it's very similar. Yeah. Yeah. Mine says wherever

there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind. But the wisdom from above is first of all, pure. It is peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. Sorry, I'm thinking about that. I guess if you're, if you don't have selfish ambition, if you have selfish ambition, you're not going to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness. I think it's interesting to think about how I think of times in my life when I think I was jealous and I realized it made my whole life disordered, everything. It made everything disordered, everything in my life. It affected everything, my relationships, my work. It's everything becomes all about that jealousy that I have or that striving that I have to be that or have that or do that. So it just affects everything. It creates, it's kind of a seed of everything being wrong and out of sync. You know, since the message, there's been a couple moments where I've caught myself and I'm finding that when you talk about you can't be, you know, you're not thinking of others because jealousy makes you, it's a constantly self. I'm absorbing my thoughts. I'm inviting that conversation to my dinner table when I'm sitting around with my family. I'm not focused on, you know, I'm missing things around me. My son, this is really personal, but I was dealing with kind of a moment this week and my son, my youngest son, I got him this football for Christmas and it's a half football. And so it's made to where you throw it back off the wall.

And this is just, it's kind of funny. So he, it's half a football. So it's made, so he opens it up and Jackson goes, oh, that's the fatherless football. And I thought, oh, I thought that's the worst gift ever because you could throw it without a dad. I get the wall. And so here's what happened to me this week. Check this out. So I'm dealing with this internal thing. Colson's wanting to throw the football with me. And then I see him over there throwing the football. The fatherless football. Yeah. And I'm like, I am missing an opportunity to hang out with my son because I'm so self-absorbed right now. And so, yeah, I mean, you just, you just concentrate on yourself. Jealousy steals so much energy that we could be spending and encouraging people, loving our own kids. And it's a silent killer. You think about kids too, man. Like when you get your kids in sports, man, it's a breeding ground for jealousy too. Yeah, it is. You know, you think about, I remember when I was a coach, I used to coach all my kids basketball. And, you know, you got the parents like,

my kid doesn't play enough. And there's always this, it just goes into this comparison, this comparison trap of my kid's smarter than your kid. My kid's more talented than your kid. And so even like, even as a parent, I'm still being selfish because it's still about me. Even though it's not me, it's my kids. It's about my world and my circles. And so let me introduce a thought and we could unpack this a little bit. This is fun, by the way. We should have snowstorms more often. Maybe every month or so we should have a snowstorm. The summer special. Yeah, I don't know if anybody's enjoying this, but I am. So I have this thought. Jealousy, there's lots of forms of jealousy. Jealousy can be, I'm jealous of your house. I want what you have. Saul's jealousy was, I don't want David to take away what I've already have. I'm jealous of David because I see him as a threat to take that he could potentially take away what I have. And then I also have this idea that there's a form of jealousy, that jealousy can be a form of grieving, where I'm grieving because I have an unmet expectation. I thought God was gonna do something in my life and he did it in yours instead.

So there's actually an element of grieving to that. I'm grieving because God didn't do what I thought he was supposed to do. And so I can actually become jealous. Wade, you were talking earlier about, and this happens with a lot of people, it happened with Michelle and I, because we tried to have kids for two or three years. Wade just looked at his wife and wouldn't have kids, like just four kids, you know. But we tried to have kids for a couple of years. We couldn't have kids. We were going to specialists trying to have kids. And then all of Michelle's friends and people we knew were just having kids, kids, and kids, and kids, and kids. And so we were actually jealous of them. But a big part of that is because we was grieving. But there was an element of grieving that can play into jealousy too. It's like grieving can potentially be a seed that leads to jealousy, you know. So do you guys think there's an element of that with grieving? And I think that's a really hard one because you genuinely have the right to be grieving. And so that's a real wrestle that I think we have to, we have to internally deal with. How do I be happy for someone else when God gives them what I desired more than anything? Well, I think that kind of goes back

to this whole it is well thing. Oh, so I was gonna say that. Oh, let's go, Rhonda. So it's like. How do I, how do I face my, because jealousy is unmet expectation on myself, and it sits really close to loss. So what is my orientation to that selfish ambition? It is well, it's celebrating other people, you know. I wanted that promotion, but they got it, so what is my response? It is well. I celebrate you, you know, way to go, you know. Because it is, there's a, because some of those things, back to your, there can be ambition and selfish ambition. Sometimes we have a real desire in our heart, and it can be a good and a righteous one. Like wanting children, that's a good and righteous desire. You know, I want that. So I am jealous that you have that, so what do I do? I have to replace my trust. Whatever that is that I expected, or I wanted, or I desired, and I didn't get it, I have to understand that my trust is in the Lord. That doesn't, that isn't a reflection of my identity, or that I'm not worthy, or, you know. So I think it can kind of, all of this ends up coming back full circle. I don't like that answer, but it's right.

Yeah. Yeah. And because it can happen in ministry, you know, like blood, sweat, and tears, you feel called to do something. Yeah. And then, you know, it happens in ministry where, you know, at Victory Church, you may have a great weekend, great attendance, great salvations, baptisms, and then you pull up your Instagram, and Life.Church baptized 4,000 people, and had 12 million salvations, and you're like, why am I upset about this? Yeah. But it happened to John the Baptist's disciples. Yes. Yeah, you know? Yeah. Like, hey, people are going over there to get baptized instead of coming to you. They're going to Jesus instead of you. Like, there was a, they were grieving. Yeah. Like, these people should be coming to us, and they're going over there. Right. Yeah. So, I think there's a- In stages of life, you're maybe in a,

you're single, and you want to be married. That's a good desire. Yep, yeah. You know, how do I keep going to those weddings? Oh, wow, yeah. You know, how do I keep doing that? And so, I mean, it pops up in all different kinds of places in our lives. Yeah. Okay, I want- Are you flipping pages again, Oscar? I'm flipping one page just because this verse came up, and I was like, maybe we can unpack it for me, because now you stirred something. It's Paul talking. He says, I wish that you would bear with me in a little foolishness, but indeed, you are bearing with me, for I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy. Godly jealousy. That's a good thought. So, because we're, you know, maybe not all jealousy. Like, I've never, I forgot that jealousy can actually be a godly thing. Well, the Bible says that God is a jealous God. And in Romans, it says that part of the Jews, it says that the Gentiles will provoke the Jews to jealousy. Wow, see? So, part of the Jews coming back into the fold, so to speak, that God is going to use

some form of jealousy to do that. Golly, Oscar, you just, you're wrenching it all. I just want to drop that little nugget and see what comes out of that. That's interesting. Obviously, we have to look into the context. So, is that there's a form of righteous jealousy, or is that God uses jealousy in his plan? I mean, if you see someone that's, you know, and going away from, again, it's your perspective, so it's going away from worldly things, jealous of worldly things, to, man, that person is so peaceful. Why are they so joyful? Like, going back to his will, how are they able to say it as well? Well, maybe there's a relationship, maybe if it spurs me on to a deeper relationship. Right, or towards godly, if it's, hopefully, there's a part of an unbeliever that looks at the life of a believer and says, I want what you have, which is a form of jealousy, but it's like, I want the fruits of the Spirit. It's not, it's a selfish, I guess that could be deemed a selfish ambition, but it's for the righteousness that is in you. Read that verse again. Yeah, it says, I wish that you would bear with me with a little foolishness,

but indeed you are bearing with me, for I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy, for I betrothed you to one husband to present you as a pure virgin to Christ, but I am afraid that as a serpent deceived Eve by his trickery, your minds will be led astray from sincere and pure devotion to Christ. So I'm just curious to see what part of that was Paul. Obviously, talking to the Corinthians, they were a special, crazy church. Yeah, he's trying to thread the needle. Yeah, but in dealing with it within our context and our culture, that ultimately, maybe. Part of what Paul was saying is that There's there's a part of me that understands where where you are right now, and I'm trying to keep you yeah from from being deceived by the but by the serpent because the enemy will come and Turn away help make you turn away from your devotion to Christ, and I think yeah ungodly jealousy will 100% yeah, so the grief piece of jealousy Maybe if I deal with grief If I grieve well because there is a there is a way to grieve well, maybe if I if I learn to grieve if if grieving is a is a pathway towards jealousy then a Whole nother message that we've not going to unpack today. Maybe grieving is a really important step in my journey Yeah, or it's going to lead me to jealousy in a sense or even jealousy Like you unpacking that for some for some of us, maybe it's Jealousy becomes the filter to see oh, I'm actually grieving. Yeah So it's so you know like you may not even realize You you're jealous and so the jealousy is kind of like the the alarm. Oh, yeah, what's actually really going on is I'm grieving. I want I want to have a kid. Yeah, I want I want these things

You know, and so then it's going back to like you said it's going back to saying well in the meantime The Lord knows my desires. Yeah, the Lord loves me. Yeah. Yeah, he's a good father. Yeah, so there's a reason There's a season for this though in the season. I'm gonna say it as well. Yeah, you know, it's good just those Ordered desires right if jealousy leads to disorder. Yeah, right Then good and godly and righteous desire. Yeah can lead to good and God godly ordered ambition Right, and so it's good even taking a minute jealousy is like I want that and I want you to not have it Yeah, you know like there can be a a good and ordered desire. So I think taking those back to Jesus and Just I have this desire and it and I don't like this fruit that it's producing So I'm trust, you know, it's just an ongoing Jesus cares about that And back to the Shunammite woman, yeah delayed My delayed language. Yeah, I feel something but doesn't mean have to lead with that. I can lead with it as well. Yeah. Yeah Well, this has been fun. Yeah Maybe we should unpack the sermons more often. Yeah, I kind of enjoyed this that ever every season deep thoughts Yeah, I want to have one of you guys pray you guys can draw straws on who's gonna pray to kind of Whoever's the most holy among us will pray Also just want to take a second that you just never know you just never know this this Was kind of in place of our church gathering today So I could easily make the assumption that everyone watching today is a believer and knows who Jesus is But I don't know I just want to take a second for anyone who may have stumbled across this or maybe you were invited to it by somebody In our church, and if you're far from God and and you don't have a relationship with Jesus I just want to want to take a second and pray for you and the beauty of technology is you could be sitting in another country right now and just streaming this and Because of a prayer and a belief that you believe and pray that you can accept Jesus into your heart right now wherever wherever you're at and so For those of us that are believers and don't check out like don't just get up and turn it off and go get more coffee Because this you never know you never know who's watching this live in the moment and so I just want to have a kind of a reverent moment here and so I just want to pray a prayer and

If you're here and you're watching this and you need to give your life to Jesus As as odd as this may feel or seem I just wanted to lead you in a prayer The Bible says we believe in our heart and we confess with our mouth that Jesus is Lord So everybody watching this those of you with me that you could just repeat this after me say father God Thank you for sending Jesus to die for me and Jesus thank you For paying the ultimate price for dying for my sin and I believe that you were crucified and that you raised to new life for me and Today I'm saved Today I'm brand new My life is yours in Jesus name Amen So if you prayed that prayer chat with us like hop on our website or YouTube Chat with us. There's a QR code that's gonna pop up on the screen right now I'm believing that by faith that you can connect with us. We just want to connect with you. So so thank for doing that with us. Dr. Rhonda Davis, bishop, the right reverend, the bishop, reverend, apostle, prophetess, Rhonda. Would you close us in prayer? Oh my goodness. It's never a dull moment. No pressure with all this. Don't mess this up. Yeah, right? Yeah, I will, I'm happy to. So, we thank you, Lord, for your presence with us wherever we are. Wherever Victory Church finds herself,

I pray that you have been there. We say, come Holy Spirit, and be a part of this conversation. So, teach us. Teach us how to be more like you. Give us desires that align with yours. Lord, I pray for every person who's facing a difficult circumstance, who feels hopeless. Lord, I pray that hope would come. As they put their trust in you, I pray that hope would come. For those who are stuck in a pattern that tells them that they have to have the answer, God, I just pray that curiosity would overwhelm them. Lord, I pray that we would be able to lean on you, our ultimate and only answer to all. For those of us who are trying to work out this life with right desires and ambition, and where all of that lands with your word, we just pause and we put our eyes and our heart and our emotions in line with you. Teach us to walk like you. Teach us to parent like you, to live like you, to look more like you tomorrow than we do today. We just pray that you would be a part of every family, of every room and every home and every office and every car that we find ourselves today. We wanna live more like you and more in your fullness, day by day.

In your name, Jesus. Amen. Amen. Amen. Oscar, say something smart for us to close with. In Christ. We live life to the full. Oh. We're so grateful that you joined us today. At Victory, we pray big prayers to a big God and we expect big results. If you would like to receive prayer, you can submit a prayer request by visiting victory.church slash pray. If this message or any of our messages have impacted your life and you would like to partner with us through giving, you can do so at victory.church slash give. Thank you again for joining us. At Victory Church, we live life to the full.