Peace for Your Home - Saddleback Weekend Service

Hey everybody welcome to Saddleback Church. We're so glad you're here today. We want to invite you to stand and lift the name of Jesus with us. He is King of Kings and Lord of Lords and He reigns today and forevermore. So come on let's sing it. Heaven and earth all hail King Jesus All hail the Saviour of the world The Saviour of the world There was a moment when the lights went out When death had claimed its victory The King of love had given up His life The darkest day in history Sing on the cross There on a cross He made for sinners For every curse His blood tore One final breath and it was finished But not the end could have known For the earth began to shake And the veil was torn What sacrifice was made As the heavens roared All hail King Jesus All hail the Lord of heaven and earth All hail King Jesus All hail the Saviour of the world Oh you're the Saviour of the world Jesus There was a moment when the sky lit up A flash of light breaking through When all was lost He crossed eternity The King of life was on the move For in a dark old tomb

Where our God was laid One miraculous breath And we're forever changed All hail King Jesus All hail the Lord of heaven and earth All hail King Jesus All hail the Saviour of the world All hail King Jesus All hail the Lord of heaven and earth All hail King Jesus All hail the Saviour of the world Oh you're the Saviour Let every knee Come bow before the King of kings Let every tongue Confess that He is the Lord Lift up your shout Let us joyfully sing Come on, you with all of heaven, come on! Sing it. ♪ Holy, oh you are holy ♪ Oh sing it. ♪ Holy, yes, you are, yes you are holy, holy, holy ♪ Come on, let's lift our voice. ♪ All hail the King Jesus ♪ ♪ All hail the Lord of heaven and earth ♪ ♪ All hail Jesus ♪ ♪ All hail the Savior of the world ♪ Come on church, let's give him praise today. He's worthy, isn't he?

He's worthy to be lifted up, isn't he? Come on, let's praise him. ♪ Come let us worship our King ♪ ♪ Come let us bow at his feet ♪ ♪ He has done great things ♪ ♪ See what our Savior has done ♪ ♪ See how his love overcomes ♪ ♪ He has done great things ♪ Do you believe it? ♪ He has done great things ♪ ♪ Oh hero of heaven, you conquer the grave ♪ ♪ You free a weak captive and break every chain, oh God ♪ ♪ You have done great things ♪ ♪ We dance in your freedom, awake and alive ♪ ♪ Oh Jesus, our Savior, your name lifted high, oh God ♪ ♪ You have done great things, come on ♪ ♪ Oh yes you have ♪ ♪ You've been faithful through every storm ♪ ♪ And you'll be faithful forevermore ♪ ♪ You have done great things ♪ ♪ And I know you will do it again ♪ ♪ For your promise is yes and amen ♪ ♪ You have done great things, oh God you do great things ♪ ♪ Say oh hero of heaven, you conquer the brave ♪ ♪ You free a weak captive and break every chain, oh God ♪ ♪ You have done great things, we dance in your freedom, awake and alive ♪ ♪ Oh Jesus, our Savior, your name lifted high, oh God ♪ ♪ You have done great things ♪ ♪ Hallelujah God, above it all ♪ ♪ Hallelujah God, unshakable ♪

♪ Hallelujah, you have done great things, oh yes you have ♪ ♪ Oh yes you have ♪ ♪ Hallelujah God, above it all ♪ ♪ Hallelujah God, unshakable ♪ ♪ Hallelujah, you have done great things ♪ ♪ You've done great things, oh hero of heaven ♪ ♪ Oh God, you have done great things ♪ ♪ We dance in your freedom, awake and alive ♪ ♪ Oh Jesus, our Savior, your name lifted high, oh God ♪ ♪ You have done great things, oh God ♪ ♪ You have done great things, oh God you do great things ♪ ♪ We dance in your freedom, awake and alive, oh God ♪ ♪ You have done great things, oh God you do great things ♪ ♪ Hallelujah, you have done great things ♪ ♪ Hallelujah, you have done great things, oh God you do great things ♪ He's done great things. ♪ You've done great things, oh God, you've done great things ♪ Come on, do you believe that? If you know He's done great things, why don't you just go ahead and give Him a standing ovation of praise today! Not only has He done great things, but He's still doing great things. And that's why we can call on the only name that there's power. Come on, let's lift our hearts and sing. Burn like a fire Your name is power, I say Your name is power Your name is healing Your name is life Break every stronghold Shine through the shadows Burn like a fire

Come on, let's lift our hearts and sing. I just want to speak the name of Jesus Over every heart and every mind Cause I know there is peace within Your presence I speak Jesus And I just want to speak the name of Jesus Till every dark addiction starts to break Declaring there is hope and there is freedom I speak Jesus Your name is power Your name is healing Your name is life Break every stronghold Shine through the shadows Burn like a fire Come on church, let's lift our hearts and sing. Your name is power Your name is healing Your name is life Break every stronghold Shine through the shadows Burn like a fire And I just want to speak the name of Jesus Over fear and all anxiety To every soul held captive by depression I speak Jesus We're gonna sing that verse one more time. But this time I want us to sing it knowing that there's peace in the name of Jesus. A name is only as good as the person it represents. And the name of Jesus is good because Jesus is good.

The name of Jesus is powerful because Jesus is powerful. There's healing in the name of Jesus because Jesus still heals. He still delivers. He's still a way maker. And you know, anxiety has a name. Fear has a name. Depression has a name. But aren't you glad today that they're no match for the name above every single name. The name of Jesus. Shout Jesus from the mountains. Jesus in the streets. Jesus in the dark. Jesus for my family. I speak the holy name of Jesus. Shout Jesus from the mountains. Jesus in the dark, His soul in the land we never knew Jesus for my family, Jesus for my friends I sing the holy name, Jesus for my family Shout Jesus, shout Jesus from the mountains Jesus in the streets, Jesus in the dark His soul in the land, Jesus for my family I sing the holy name, Jesus for my family Your name is power, Your name is light Break every stronghold, burn like a fire Your name, Your name Your name is power, Your name is healing Your name is light Break every stronghold, shine through the shadows Burn like a fire I want to invite you to follow along with our service by hitting the link in the description down below

or by downloading our Saddleback app. That's going to give you access to our message notes, our digital program and everything else that you'll need for service today. If you're new or if this is your first time, we would love to personally welcome you and help you get plugged in here at Saddleback. So what you can do is you can go to the Saddleback app, hit the new here button and select online community as your campus. Well, speaking of getting plugged in and connected, I want to invite you to join the rest of our church family as we check out this video and see all the cool things happening here at Saddleback. Hey Saddleback, if you're new or still finding your way around here, we've created something just for you. It's called Activate. Activate is our starting point. It's a one hour experience where you get to know who we are, grow in your faith and just find your place here. So if you're ready to take that step, I encourage you to sign up for the next Activate at your campus. Now, next weekend is one of our favorite weekends of the year. It's Next Gen Weekend. Next Gen Weekend is our annual all church celebration of what God is doing in the lives of our kids and students. Across every single campus, each campus pastor will share a message made up of short, powerful lessons from young people in the Bible. Each one with a simple way we can put it into practice. It's going to be fun, meaningful, and just full of stories of life change from our kids and students. And this year, we're inviting all of us to be a part of what God is doing in the next generation by praying, serving, and helping send students to camp.

So whether you have kids or not, this weekend won't be one you'll want to miss. As we continue in worship today, we also want to give you the opportunity to worship God through your giving. When you give, you're choosing to trust God and actively participate in what He's doing here and around the world, including investing in the next generation. So today, you can give your tithe or offering through the Saddleback app or by using those giving envelopes. Thank you, church, for worshiping God so faithfully through your generosity. Now, let's hear from Pastor Andy as we continue our message series, Path to Peace. Well, church family, it's so good to be together. I want to say welcome to those of you who are joining us online and those of you at all of our campuses spread across Southern California and our international campuses. Today, we are in the third week of a message series called Path to Peace, and we've been looking at God's desire for all of us to live with a deeper sense of peace in our life. Now, in the first week, we focused in on God's design for peace in our minds with our thoughts and how we can live with greater peace by focusing our thoughts on Him. In the second week, we focused in on our hearts. And today, we're going to move to our home, God's peace in our home. And I wanted to show you a quick picture of who lives in our home at this season of life. So you've got our three kids, Stacey and I there in the middle, Caedmon, our oldest, who is really not as well. as tall as he looks in that picture. He is six foot four. I've gotten asked multiple times. He does have cowboy boots on,

and that makes you about two inches taller. And we've got Greg who lives with us, one of Caveman's friends from high school who's now in our family. And we got Sammy and Karis and Stacy and I, of course, for 23 years we've been married. So I say all of that because we have a lot of realities in our home that you have in your home. And I know that in our church family, we have a lot of different places that people come from. There's some of you who are here and you're single and you wanna be married. And some of you, you're single and you've gone through a divorce. And then there are others of you that are grandparents and empty nesters and all in between, we have a lot of different versions of what a home looks like in our church family. But today the reality is all of us want to experience peace in our homes. All of us want, when we go home at the end of the day for the place that we lay our heads down and the pillow is for us to experience peace in those places. So today we're gonna look at God's design for peace in your home. But I wanna begin with this definition that we looked at the first two weeks. Peace that God wants to give to you is an ordered and blessed life

flowing from a right relationship with God. So what we're after with these whole three weeks that we've been in is a right relationship with God that blesses all areas of our life. And I wanna begin this whole conversation about a kind of peace that flows into our home with this question. How much peace is in your home right now? I wanna ask you just to evaluate that on a scale of one to 10. Now I'm not asking you to shout out a number, but I would love for you to ask that question of yourself. What is your level of peace in your home right now? I wanna encourage you, you might even write it down in your notes. And we're gonna evaluate how do we live with more peace? How do we experience more peace in our home as a result of our conversation today? Now the reality is there's a lot of pain in homes. And studies show us right now that in the home, there's a lot of frustration that people experience in relationships and it influences the rest of our lives. 54 million people right now in the United States of America experience near daily depression or anxiety. And the chaos that we experience in the home is one of the primary predictors of anxiety and depression. In fact, for both adults and kids, a recent Yale study showed that the emotional climate at home for kids under the age of nine was one of the primary indicators or predictors

of what their mental health would be when they moved into teenage years. So what's happening in the home is influencing the rest of our lives. In fact, there's a loneliness pandemic right now. And the Surgeon General called this here in the United States, this loneliness pandemic that we are more lonely and isolated than we've ever been in American history. And the truth is that research shows the home is the place where people often feel the loneliness. And technology that we have in our homes is not really helping us much either, is it? Like we have so many temptations to be on a screen instead of looking at the people that are around a table with us or in our homes. And studies also show that most parents will acknowledge that they spend more time with their phone than they do with their kids. So this is a problem that all of us face. And long before we had this problem, God had a solution in mind. And today we're gonna look at his word that describes his peace that comes into the home. But we're gonna begin with this verse, Matthew chapter five, verse nine. I wanna invite you, if you will, to read this verse aloud with me. Matthew 5, nine says this, "'Blessed are the peacemakers,

"'for they will be called children of God.'" So not only does God have a way of peace that we can live into, but God also cares deeply about peace in our homes. In fact, that's the very representation of the family of God, that we would be peacemakers. And in your notes, you can circle that word peacemakers because there's a kind of work that is associated with peace. There's a lot of people that we know that are peacekeepers, that they're trying to make sure everything just feels good. They're also peacetakers, and they're trying to remove the peace with their attitude. And then there are peacefakers, and they act like they have peace. And the truth is, peacemakers have a way about them where they're working towards peace, and peace in our homes, what it requires is a commitment for us to work on our relationships, to say, I'm going to work on the relationships in my home. So that's what we're gonna do today. I'm gonna ask you for a moment to take some time and to really think about what is happening in your home right now in this season. Now, again, there are some of you that your season is very different than my season, but you still have a home. And we're gonna look at how do you experience God's peace through Psalm 128 and James 3, verses 13 through 18. And we're gonna begin.

with Psalm 128. Now, I've been meditating on this passage of Scripture all week long. I love this Psalm. I've never spent this much time in this passage. It's a glorious picture of God's design for the family and how God blesses a home where he's the centerpiece. And what happens from that moves into a city, it moves into the world, and it is just a wonderful picture that it's gonna bless you today. So I wanna read it. So Psalm 128, verse one, blessed are all who fear the Lord, who walk in obedience to him. You will eat the fruit of your labor. Blessings and prosperity will be yours. Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house. Your children will be like olive shoots around your table. Yes, this will be the blessing for the man who fears the Lord. May the Lord bless you from Zion. May you see the prosperity of Jerusalem all the days of your life. May you live to see your children's children. Peace be upon Israel. Now, notice the progression for just a moment. It starts off with a man who fears the Lord, that he walks with God. And it's important when you see that word,

you might even circle fear of the Lord. It's not like this fear of the Lord, like you have to walk around in fear. It's reverence for the Lord. It's a reverence for who he is. And I love this quote from Matthew Henry, this historian, this theologian from hundreds and hundreds of years ago, says, to fear the Lord is to stand in awe of his majesty and worship him with reverence, submit to his authority and obey him with cheerfulness, dread his wrath and abhor the thought of offending him. So it means to love God and revere him above everything, that it's saying God is the focal point of my life. Now, notice the progression from this man who loves God, who seeks him, into his work that is abundantly blessed, into his marriage, down to his children, into the city he lives in, and ultimately all the way to the world or to his nation, that it all starts with one heart, one life that is fully dedicated to God. Now, how do we do that? And how does it move into peace in the home? Last week, if you were with us in the first week, actually in the series, we looked at these two cans, the one that says the I can, which is the stuff I can control, and the stuff that only God can control. And we've been looking at how do we get our lives situated in such a way that the stuff that goes into our can

is in our can and goes into God's can is in God's can. And so often we live with anxiety because we take on what belongs to God and we relegate what belongs to us. But what happens in relationships that's very difficult is relationships, it's almost like there's a third can and that can is their can. And maybe for some of you, you would love to control their can. You would love to decide what they think about, what they give their energy to. And the reality is this can, their can, is a little bit smaller because we shouldn't focus on their can very much. We should focus on what goes into our can and ultimately what is in God's can. And some of you might be tempted today when you hear this message to try to jar somebody else around you. And my hope is that we can look and say, what is it that God wants to do in my heart with his vision for family and how do I respond to it? So we're gonna take their can, we're gonna put it back here for just a minute. We might call it back out later, but we're not gonna focus on that one. But the tension that we feel is how do I actually do my part in the home? And the first part of this passage I want us to see is the vision that God is giving to family

through Psalm 128, that God has a vision for your home. God has a vision for your home if you're single. God has a vision for your home if you're young, married, without kids. God has a vision for your home if you are so busy and overwhelmed with your kids and feel like you have no break all throughout the day. God has a vision for your home. And notice in this passage, this passage which is a Psalm of ascent would be sung on the way up to Jerusalem, the Israelites would worship. This passage is right in the middle of the Psalms of ascent and actually because of God's desire for the family to be the centerpiece of his blessing, that it starts with the home and it moves out into ultimately the nation and the world. And God gives these very beautiful images in this passage of Scripture. And the first one I want you to see, there's four of them and you might write these down. The first one is this vision of a life that is fruitful. So notice it says you will eat the fruit of your labor. So God's picture is here's a man who loves God, who obeys him, who worships him with his whole heart, and then as a result of his obedience to God, there's a blessing that flows into meaningful work, that his contribution to the world is making a difference, that there is a goodness at which he's bringing and he receives or is blessed.

by the fruit of his labor. So the image is God's worship, worship of God with work and then into family. And then the next one he says, your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house. Now for us in our culture, it's hard to fully understand what they would have received in that moment. But for them, the vine was the very center of culture. That this represented a great vine that would produce wine and life and vibrancy. And it was this image of life where the wife or the mother of a home was not off on the side. It was a husband and wife working together to love and to serve their family with the wife being really the source connected to the husband, this source of life that blesses the whole home. It's like the image of Proverbs 31 that this woman of wisdom, God is using her life to bless the rest of the family. And then it gives this image of children is olive shoots. So it says your children will be like olive shoots around your table. Now an olive shoot was a little branch that would come up out of the root system of an existing olive tree. So it's a picture of legacy in the future. So the blessing goes from marriage,

then into children, this future shoot of strength that will represent generations to come. And then finally, it gives the last image of a table. And we're gonna come to that in just a few moments. But I was meditating on this passage of scripture this week. And I was so moved one day, I was like studying. And I was thinking, oh man, I love this image of my wife, Stacey, like a fruitful vine in our house. And my children like these olive shoots that represent the future generations of the Wood family. And I went home that night to have a great dinner with my family around the table. So expectant of the kind of fellowship we would share at the dinner table that night. Stacey made this wonderful meal for our family. We sat down and the hour that she spent in preparation went to about 12 minutes around the dinner table. One child got mad at something that another person said. That ended up in some tears and some frustration. And another child was annoyed that we were having to sit there and eat together. And 20 minutes later, nobody's at the table except for me. All my olive shoots are gone, chopped off. I'm like, gosh, man, now I gotta preach about this. The good news is that God actually gives this vision to us regardless of what our homes are like, that he lifts up a picture. And every one of us has struggles like that. And there's a part of you that longs for the ideal, but ideal is not happening this side of eternity.

But this is very important. Every home has flaws, but every home still needs vision. This is important. God wants to give you a fresh vision for what your home could become. And you don't have to be in a particular season of life, but what I believe God cares so much about is the source of strength that comes to the world through a family that loves him and seeks him. And I think one of the great temptations that we have in our society right now is because there are so many different types of family that we often don't lift up the vision of what God designed, the beautiful image of a husband that is covenantally committed to a wife that is producing offspring for the faith to go from generation to generation. And then their grandparents around a generation loving and blessing them. And the whole community is impacted because what happens at a table in a home with the love of Jesus being the centerpiece of that home. And so for you today, my encouragement is to ask the question, what is the vision for my home? Like, do you have any kind of vision for what your home would be like? And a lot of us, we end up moving into chaos in our homes because we don't slow down long enough to say, God, what is the vision that you have? And to take time to begin to ponder and pray through

and ask God to give you images and give you a fresh vision for this next season of your life. Now, this is also significant because in this season of life, there's a kind of order that God can establish that might look different than the last season of life. And notice in the Psalm that there's also order connected to the vision. So God gives vision to his people. He says the family is this imminent place of life that moves out into the world, but also it happens through order or a prioritized home. So God wants there to be priorities in the home that flow out of relationship with him. So starting with obedience of a husband that loves God, loves his family, then there's order that comes into play. And I want you to see this little diagram that shows the foundation, starting with the worship of God. So the worship of God being the central theme of the home, that the foundation everything is built on is this. deep love for God that you would seek Him and know Him and love Him and your home would represent that. Now on top of that is built this reality of a covenant marriage. So marriage is built on the foundation of worship to the Almighty God, to Yahweh. And that marriage that is a covenant relationship is different than a contract. You know we have contracts in our society like if you get a car and you say I'm going to lease a car

which I would never not recommend but God bless you if you do. But if you don't make your payment, you don't keep your contract, what do they do? They come and take your car away from you. And marriage is not like that. Sometimes we look at marriages though it's like a contract like well you weren't nice to me today this whole thing is over. But a covenant is different. A covenant is a commitment that is made before the Lord till death do us part. And that foundation secures and orders a home and then on top of that, that next layer is intentional parenting. So we say a marriage that loves and seeks God now is discipling the next generation of children, loving them, serving them, blessing them, training them to make a difference in the world. And then finally this meaningful work to make a contribution in the world around us. This is our church, this is our community, this is the business that you lead. But if you look at this pyramid as the foundation, the worship of God being the foundation, any of these pieces if they get out of order they topple. That if you put your work as the most important thing, you cannot build a life on that. And if you take your kids and you say well my kids are more important than my marriage, your kids cannot stand under the weight of your marriage. They weren't designed to take that kind of weight on them. So God blesses when we get order into our homes and we live in such a way that we build as he designed it to be built. And this is very important. God will not bless my misplaced priorities. So a lot of times what we want is we're like God well I know that I'm not really doing it the way that you want me to, so I just ask that you would bless me and get me through this season. But the truth is when I take my life and I put it out of order, there's a kind of consequence that I experience as a result of that. So when I look at that diagram, I want

to ask you to bring it back up for just a moment. 23 years in, having kids that I deeply love, that I'm committed to, I am seeing now how fast this season of life goes. And there are some of you that are young parents, you got like kids that you're putting to bed and you're so exhausted at night and then you wake up first thing in the morning, they're crying in the middle of the night and you feel like you're just going through the motions of exhaustion with life. And the truth is this season happens real quick and I can look back feeling like I'm a young parent still. And a lot of times I think that, like I'm still a young dad and then I see these young families that are starting families with young children and they're like just a couple years older than my oldest. And I'm like oh I'm not a young dad anymore. I'm like a middle-aged dad with two thirds white hair. And so it went by really fast. And what I'm really grateful for 23 years later is that Stacey and I prioritize our marriage. I'm grateful for all the date nights that we went on and that we prioritize marriage over parenting and our kids have been blessed by that. And now when they look for a future spouse they have a model of what they've seen in our home that they can go in search of as they look for a future spouse. See this model that God gives to us with worship of Him being the foundation all the way to making a difference in the world is how God blesses the world around us. Now the truth is there's so much pain and brokenness in our world. And maybe this is so far from your example. And the last thing that we're trying to do in this moment is to put a sense of guilt on you or to say man you should just feel a whole bunch of shame for where you are. That's not God's desire.

God's desire is to lift up vision in our hearts and wherever you are maybe you're not married and you have kids. Well you still can get those priorities in order. Or maybe you're not married and your kids are gone but you do have grandkids and you still can bless future generations and love them and serve them. Or maybe for some of you you're single and you don't have a family nearby and you can still build that foundation of love for God and make a difference in the world around you. So the encouragement is to ask the question what are my priorities and are they ordered and is there anything in my life that God is saying I want to move that around so that I can build a stronger foundation with your life. It's also important to recognize it does not mean equal time. So let's look one more time. I know I keep coming back to this this little image. It does not mean that you spend, if you're a parent, that you spend 17 hours in your morning quiet time with Jesus. And you say to your kids, I'm sorry, you're not as significant to me as God. Go feed yourself, three-year-old. I'm focused on my relationship with God. That's not it. Because there are some of you who are so exhausted and you're doing a good job. You're loving your family. There's some young moms constantly changing diapers up in the middle of the night, and it's not about the amount of time. It's what you value over the other. And if you build this way, God will bless you.

But again, the question I wrestle through is how? Like, what does it actually look like to have a prioritized home that we built? And the third piece is the habits of our home. So the way that we prioritize is the habits that shape the environment we're in. So all of us have a series of habits that are building our life. And sometimes we do these habits not even realizing we do them. Like, I want you to pay attention. When you go home today and you walk through the front door, what do you do? Where do you put your keys? Where do you put your wallet? What do you do with your phone? Maybe the tendency is to go into the house and then to sit down somewhere with your phone. You also have a way that you greet people. And one of the things I love is that our dog is always excited to see me when I come home. My kids might not be, but my dog is always excited. And there are habits that just kick into play in every home. And the question is how do you shape those habits? Well, notice in verse three of Psalm 128. Your children will be like olive shoots around what? Your table. Your table will be a place that life goes out from. So in every home, there should be a table where conversation, connection, and community happens.

And that place is a place where the habits of our household related to one another and training of children and life is given in such a way that it moves into the community and the world around us and studies show us. I saw this report this week from a Canadian family physician report. Now, we may be in the United States of America here. We can still learn from Canadians. So Canadian family physician report that said this, that there was an inverse effect that when families or people spent time eating meals with others, that they noticed what happened was disordered eating, alcohol and substance abuse, violent behavior, feelings of depression, thoughts of suicide and adolescence all went down simply because they had meals with their friends and family in their home. There was a significant impact. There was another study that showed a positive association with higher self-image, better grades, greater commitment to learning simply through what happens at the table. So I wanna encourage you to think about your table. We have so much that wars against our ability to connect with one another. And a lot of times what's happening is that we have a vision for our home that is driving a set of habits that are moving us away from God's best. So maybe that vision is like, oh man,

my kid needs to know four languages by the time he's nine years old. And if he doesn't, I'm a failure. Or my kid needs to play on the travel soccer team. He needs to start, he needs to have seven goals a game. And if he doesn't go to college on a full ride, I'm a failure, he's a failure. Or maybe it's the academics. Like man, we gotta get 4.7 and you gotta take all those advanced classes because you can't get a 4.7 if you don't and we're gonna study all day long. And now all of the habits are formed around that vision. And there've been so many opportunities, be a part of this travel club, do this thing. And they're all wonderful things. But at the end of the day, what can happen, and Stacey and I had a season like this where we're just ping pong, ping pong, ping pong, back and forth. And she's driving kids one place and I'm driving them another. And some of that's unavoidable in this season. But there's a part of it that, like if my kids are in four activities and there's three of them, there's 12 things a week that we're trying to do. And so we've had to step back and say, we wanna order our home around the habit. The most important goal that we have for our family

is that we love Jesus. At the end of the day, that's the most important vision is that the faith that's in us gets transferred to them. So the habits that we form in our home, we want to reflect that. So let me give you a couple more really powerful examples that God has given to me recently. I remember one time, I shared this story about a year ago. There was a moment where I was struggling with our oldest. He was about to graduate from high school. And it was just a lot of tension, just him getting out the door and he's growing up and wants more independence. I'm starting to feel like I'm constantly trying to like prevent bad things from happening. Parents ever feel like that? Especially with teenage boys? You're like trying to stop it from happening and I'm running around. And God gave me this image where it was almost like I was in a river and there was all this stuff coming down the river and it was like I'm doing everything I can to catch it like a goalie. And it's not all getting caught, it's just going straight past me. And it was like the Lord showed me this vision and said, Andy, I don't want you in the stream trying to catch all the stuff. I want you to go upstream and I want you to focus on what you put in. I want you to elevate what you invest into him, not be so focused on what you're catching. And that image changed me. It changed my perspective. And I think that James 3 really does highlight some of this shift in perspective of what we sow with our habits into the relationships around us.

Now watch this passage. It says, who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life or by their deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. Now that question, who is wise and understanding among you, maybe you feel like not many people around you are wise and understanding. But what the Bible is saying, there's a reflection on our own hearts. That's not the point of the passage to say, is it in their can that they're wise? Are they wise people? No, it's in my can that I'm focused to say, am I living with wisdom? And I know if I'm living with wisdom by what this passage describes. If you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your heart, don't boast about it or deny the truth. Such wisdom does not come down from heaven, but it's earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. Now notice this. There's a continuum. It's earthly, it's unspiritual, it's demonic. That there's a source that it's coming from. There's a kind of wisdom that the world offers and the hard attitudes which produce chaos in the home and ultimately in the world. And notice how he describes it. He says, for where you have envy and selfish ambition. You might even circle those in your notes. Where you have envy and selfish ambition. And the word he's using here is like a person that's running for a political office. It was a Greek word. Like somebody's chasing after an office and they're just gonna get ahead. They're gonna stomp on you. They're gonna be in a debate with you. They're gonna prove you wrong.

They're just moving ahead at whatever cost. Envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder in every kind of evil practice. So there's a chaos that ensues. But then James contrasts that and he says, but there's another kind of wisdom that is from above. It's from God. It's a heavenly wisdom. And this wisdom that comes from heaven, look at these character traits. First of all, it's pure. And then it's peace-loving. And then it's considerate. And then it's submissive. And it's full of mercy and good fruit. It's impartial, sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness. Now when you look at that list, those character traits, and you think about what does it mean to live out these character traits in our relationships? One of the things that I've noticed on a personal level is it's way easier to do that outside the home. Like it's way easier in a meeting at work. It's lunchtime and everybody's going through the line. You're like, bro, you go first. No, you go first. No, you go first. No, you go first. And you're like, you know, real cool, chill, considerate. But when you're at home and a kid jumps in front of you and it's like, he did that for the last 27 dinners. And you're like, the reaction that often comes because of all these historical experiences, that these hard attitudes are so much harder to come by.

And what happens is for all of us, we are revealed, we see what's on the inside by our home environment to say, is the stuff on the inside one from heaven or two from hell? What is the hard attitude that's coming from within me? So I have to make a choice. What do I do with all of this? And what James is saying is so important. There's a part of it that is sowing seeds into relationships. So a habit that I can do is I can sow into the most important relationships in my life. That I can, out of these character traits, that I can put purity of heart first. And I can say, I'm going to look at this person and for their interest to be the primary thing that is on my mind. And I'm going to be considerate. And I'm going to say, what does it look like to put them first? What does it look like to step out of the way and maybe even do something that they want to do rather than what I want to do? And how do I submit my agenda and be full of mercy when they make mistakes and good fruit? And it's not this spineless kind of wiggly person that James is talking about because he's talked about a person of faith with strength. But it's a wisdom from God that knows what's most important in life. and knows that it's not always most important to win the argument at home, and knows that it's not always most important to be right in a conversation, that this kind of wisdom produces a fruit that what James says is a fruit of righteousness that we get to live into in our whole life as blessed as a result of it. So how do you sow those seeds? Like James gives us very, very specific words,

but there's some ways that even I wrote down that we can do this, and we think about it even in our family. We can eat a meal together. You might write some of these down as I go through them. We can eat a meal together as a family. We can find ways to do something that we laugh together and enjoy each other. We can make a positive memory with one another. We can make a conscious choice to yield to the other person and practice not always having the final word in the conversation. We can speak affirming words and write a personal note of encouragement. We can do something with them that matters to them. We can play a game or a sport or go for a walk. We used to play Rummikub during COVID, and it was one of the most difficult opportunities for me to be godly because the clanking, I just thought of it as going through, the clanking of those little tiles on the kitchen table used to get me to a place where I would have to get up and go for prayer walks and come back and repent. And so games sometimes are hard, but you can play a game, go for a walk, find a hobby you enjoy, pay attention to hellos and goodbyes when you come in the door and when you leave. Say I'm sorry when you mess up. Ask for forgiveness.

Love them enough to tell them the truth. Be willing to draw healthy boundaries and pray for them and with them. And these are just practical ways to sow in over and over and over again. Now you might be in a situation right now where you don't have kids at home and you're a grandparent and you have a tremendous opportunity to sow life into future generations. I'm so grateful that in this season of life, my parents and Stacey's parents invest in our kids. And it brings tears to my eyes when I think about how her dad and my dad, every time they're with the kids, especially the boys as they're getting older, they will intentionally do things with them to love, to bless them, to be with them. Sammy one time got my dad's tractor stuck and like all this stuff that is grandpa investing in a grandkid. And if you're a grandparent right now, God has a vision for your life to invest in the next generation. Like God bless you if you love golf, that's awesome. But when you stand before the living God, he's not gonna ask you your golf score. He's gonna ask you what did you do in those most important relationships in your life? Now you can golf and enjoy it, but don't let it be the thing that stands between you

and investing in the future to sow seeds into your children and grandchildren. And then finally, somebody said amen. You can say amen, I heard it. Amen, thank you. It was a grandchild that wanted their grandpa to stop golfing. So number two is in addition to that is that we can pull the weeds. And the tendency is to wanna pull the weeds in somebody else's heart. It's like, man, you got some issues and it's really affecting my relationship with you. And it's much easier just to hyper focus on their stuff. Like all the things that if they just got it right, if they were a little bit more selfless, if they weren't so annoying and chewed their food like that, if they were just a little different, it wouldn't be so hard. But what James is saying is no, those weeds are in here. They're in my can. It's the stuff in my heart that has the potential to destroy my relationships. And notice these words that he uses. He calls it bitter envy, selfish ambition. And as a result, there's all kinds of chaos. And what James says is if that's in your heart, don't deny it or boast about the truth. Bring it before the living God and repent of it

and say, God, I'm selfish. Or God, I don't wanna be so angry or I don't wanna be a bitter person. I want the investment of my life to bless those around me and for me to represent you with considerate living and peace loving and mercy towards others and good fruit that my heart, my life would represent that. But there might be some seeds in your heart that have been planted years ago that have now come out that are a bitterness or a kind of anger that God wants to root out with his help. The good news is the cross of Jesus and his death offers the payment for our sins that you can be holy and righteous before God. And the moment you repent and you turn to him, he makes a way for that forgiveness to come and for you to start a new path. There's some of you today that God would say to you, I wanna take you down a new path. And it might require you to repent and come back to God and say, I see a new vision and I'm choosing a different path. Now, I wanna finish with one part of this. In addition to pulling the weeds, there's one last verse that James gives to us. this little thought. And he says, peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness. Can we read that aloud together? Peacemakers who sow in peace

reap a harvest of righteousness. Now, the harvest, there's some very significant things about a harvest that are important to understand. A harvest always happens later. There's a sowing and then there's a reaping. And there's some laws that God gives and how he structures it, it happens later. You reap later than you sow, you reap more than you sow, and you reap what you sow. And if you sow a life of peace, what James is saying, is that you reap a harvest of righteousness. But the truth is, a lot of us are living in that gap between sowing and sowing and sowing and sowing and sowing and sowing, and it's getting long and it's only 30 seconds, but you've been doing it for 30 years, and you're exhausted. And there's some of you that maybe you're tempted to throw in the towel and say, I'm done with this. But what God wants to do today is to communicate a very important part of this whole vision for our homes, for our families, that there has to be a willingness to endure, that your home is blessed as you persevere. And we live in a culture that is so filled with a desire for instant gratification, that I would do it right one day and immediately I have the fruit from it. And what God's word is showing to us today is that there is a season of waiting for the harvest to come.

And there are some of you that you have been sowing and you might not see that harvest this side of eternity, but God is inviting you today to keep plotting, keep faithful. There are so many people that I know that they get into the business of family and they get rolling with marriage and kids and it's way harder than they thought it would be. Their wife is not nearly as nice or their husband's not nearly as nice as they thought they would be. And their kids are not nearly as obedient as they thought they would be. And they don't get as good a grades as they thought they should. And all of this, and they wake up one day and realize this is not what I thought it would be. And in that moment of temptation, instead of plowing through, I know so many that have said this is way too hard for me, I'm just gonna throw in the towel and leave. And then they left the harvest of righteousness that God intended for them to experience. And God wants a different story. Some of you today, that has been your story. And God wants to invite you into a different trajectory to persevere into the future. And as we wrap up our time together today and the band comes at all of our campuses, I wanna take a moment to bring our hearts to God

and ask him for the strength to be able to persevere. To say, God, I need you to give me the ability to endure, to keep doing the right thing. Whatever season of life you're in, it might be a single person that needs strength from God to endure with your sexual purity, to hold out for the right person that God has called you to marry. It might be for some of you young married folks and you've got little kids and you're flat exhausted. And this season of life just has you done in and you wanna give up on your marriage or compromise the priority of it. But it's to elevate back and to say, no, even in this season, I'm gonna keep investing in my marriage and loving my spouse and expecting a harvest into the future. And there are some of you with a wayward child that you've just been praying and praying and praying and praying. And God wants to say to you, keep praying and praying and praying and praying and praying and don't give up. There was a story that Pastor Buddy told me and I'll finish with this. He said there was a guy that was coming to our church for years. He was in his 90s. He was a World War II veteran, had been a part of Saddleback

for many decades since the 80s. And as he got close to the last days of his life, he said, Pastor Buddy, I'm gonna ask you to do my funeral. And Pastor Buddy's like, okay, I'll do it. What do you want me to say? And he said, I want you to preach the message of Jesus and offer an opportunity for people to turn to him and be saved. Now, the reason this man had said that is because Mr. Russ had been praying for years for his son and his daughter-in-law to come home to Jesus, just year after year. In fact, people would say that every weekend he would write on his little connection card, I'm praying for the salvation of my son and daughter-in-law year after year after year after year. And Russ, at the end of his life, went to his grave and his son and daughter-in-law still didn't know Jesus. Well, at the funeral, Pastor Buddy stood up and preached the message. And at the end, he did exactly what Russ had asked him to do and he offered the opportunity for people to turn to Jesus and put their trust in him. And at the end of the service, this young woman walks up and she says, Pastor Buddy, I'm Mr. Russ's daughter-in-law, and today, when you said turn to Jesus and give him your life, I raised my hand and made a decision to put my trust in Jesus.

And that prayer, God answered. At the end of Russ's life, his children came to faith in him, and the harvest came. He just didn't get to see it. He had to endure year after year after year after year, but guess what? He will see it. One day in eternity with Jesus, his family will be with him, and God will bless the fact that he endured, and God will bless the fact that you endured. And the invitation to you today is just to say, God, I need your strength. I need you to help me endure. And I wanna invite you right now to receive from God. So if you'll close your eyes and bow your heads for just a moment, there's some of you that maybe you're in a season of life, and it's not what you expected. And you just need to come to God today and just say, God, I just wanna bring it all to you. My grief, sadness, exhaustion. Maybe some of you today in the midst of this season of life, you're just in need of a measure of strength from God to keep going. And you might say to God right now in this moment, I just need a fresh filling of your spirit, your power. I'd like to invite you if you're comfortable just to put your hands in front of you at all of our campuses, just as an act of surrender,

to open your hands today to God, and just to express to him what you need. Some of you may be the very thing that you need to say to God right now is I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I haven't been doing it your way, and I wanna turn to you. And what the Bible says is that in turning to him, there's an opportunity to receive grace and forgiveness. The cross of Jesus and the empty tomb and the fact that he paid for our sins makes a way that we can be free, and you can turn to him right now. You can just say, Jesus, I turn my life over to you. I give you my whole heart. And he will step in, he'll change you from the inside out. Others of you right now is just to say, God, I need you, I need your power. Today, if you're weary in your home and you need God to bring you peace, will you just lift your hand up? Just lift it up all across this room, our campuses today. I wanna pray for you. If you just need some strength from God today in your home right now, will you please lift your hand up? And Father, I just wanna bless right now today. There are people at all of our campuses that need a fresh touch from you. They need your power, they need your peace, they need your harvest to be a vision that compels them forward.

And I thank you, spirit of the living God, that you live inside of us and you dwell in us and you didn't leave us to ourselves, but you call us into the future and you give us everything that we need. And I'm asking that you would be true to your promises that call you a helper to fill your people with fresh power and fresh vision and anointing for the assignments that you've given to them. And Lord, I pray that you would allow your peace to flood our souls, that as we trust in you and believe that you are a God who is faithful, that you are a God that honors all of your promises, that you are a God who is bringing the harvest, Lord, that you would fill us with hope, the good news, that we can persevere another day, that we can continue to do what's right. And in the end, Lord, that we would experience the blessing of the harvest that comes from you and we will give you the glory when you do it. In the mighty name of Jesus, we pray. Amen, amen. I wanna invite you to stand with me. Let's worship and seal this moment just acknowledging the grace of God. ♪ Lord, I need you ♪ ♪ Oh, I need you ♪ ♪ Every hour I need you ♪ ♪ My one defense, my righteousness, oh God, how I need you ♪

♪ Lord, I need you, oh, I need you ♪ ♪ Every hour I need you, my one defense, my righteousness, oh God, how I need you ♪ ♪ Every hour I need you, my one defense, my righteousness, oh God, how I need you ♪ ♪ Lord, I come and I confess, bowing here, I find my rest ♪ ♪ And without you, I'd fall apart, I'd fall apart, I'd fall apart, I'd fall apart, I'd fall apart ♪ ♪ Cause you're the one that guides my heart ♪ Let's lift our hearts and sing. Lord, I need You. Oh, I need You. Every hour I need You. My more defense, my righteousness. Oh God, how I need You. Lord, I need You. Oh, I need You. Every hour I need You. My one defense, my righteousness. Oh God, how I need You. Lord, You are my one defense, my righteousness. Oh God, how I need You. Lord, You are my one defense. Oh God, how I need You. What an amazing message from Pastor Andy on how to find peace in our homes. If you're wanting a tool to help you apply some of the message from today, we have an amazing resource called Seven Habits of a Peaceful Home, and you can find that on the Saddleback app. The app is also a great place if you want prayer for anything or if you want to take a next step in your faith. You can let us know on the app, and our team would love to pray for you or help you walk through whatever step you're looking to take. Well, church family, we're so grateful that you joined us for church again today, and I hope that we'll see you back here again next week for Next Gen Weekend. I hope you guys have a great week. We'll see you then.