Old Man/New Man Podcast - Frank Almazan & Stephen Canup

It's time to put off the old man, which is corrupt, and to put on the new man, which is created in righteousness and true holiness. It's the Old Man, New Man podcast with host Stephen Kanep. Well welcome to another Old Man, New Man podcast. I'm Stephen Kanep, and I'm here with my friend Frank Amazon. Did I say that right? You sure did. Amen. Okay. Frank is here, and this is the new man. The Bible says, if any person be in Christ, they are a new creation. And old things have passed away, and behold, all things have become new. So this podcast today, it's like our normal theme, is we just like to visit with people, have a conversation about Frank and your past, and especially God in your life now. Amen. And we all do have a past, right? Absolutely. Yeah. And so today, we've got two ex-convicts sitting here talking, but both of us love Jesus. Yes. So hardly. And we're committed, right? Amen. We're all in. Yeah. Amen. Amen. I know we are, and I appreciate Frank. And Frank has been into the prisons with us a few times. For those of you across the country, we go into the Texas Department of Criminal Justice

units here in Texas, about 20 different units during a year's time. And we mainly do prison crusade and revivals on a big weekend event, and we'll take a lot of people in with us. We actually had a big event the end of May in Gatesville, Texas. We went in, we took a team of men and women. We went into two women's units and a men's unit, the Woodman unit, Murray unit, and Hughes unit all on the same weekend. That was a glorious weekend. Yes. Strong and mighty. A mighty move of God. Amen. And a lot of, I think there was 151 people gave their heart to Jesus that weekend in the three units. And it was just, it was just great. Frank was there, and he and his wife, Rosita, actually led a missions team from their church for the first time. There was 16 or 18? 18. 18. Six men, 12 women went with us for the first time, and most of them had never been into the prisons. Yes. I mean, the results later, when we got together after they got back, my heart was just really touched at how they were touched about being able to go in. So Frank helped lead that team with his wife, Rosita. So Frank, let's tell the folks a little bit about maybe your upbringing and just a little bit about your past or your family or lack thereof. I don't even, you know, I don't know a whole lot about your testimony, so I'm just going to learn with the other folks here today.

So first of all, thank you for having me. Praise the Lord. May He have pills to run my lips and guard hearts, and may the truth just be evident and free. Amen. Yeah, so first of all, my story begins, I realized my pastor, Pastor Josh at Church on the Rock Dream Center, walked me through a vital part of my life and helped me to be free from a moment that I never realized until this time upon the releasing that I was really stuck in. And this moment, what it is, is I was locked out at four years of age in a pamper, no shirt, no shoes, no nothing, and an HEB plastic bag with an extra T-shirt. Locked out of your house? Well, my mom opened the door. I was on a porch with some steps going down, and she opened it, pushed me outside, and closed it and locked it. And as I began to bang, yeah, no, believe me, I was four, but I'm never ever going to forget that. I remember being frightened, sir. I remember banging with everything that I could in a tiny little hand. I remember screaming. I can recall just that heightened sense of awareness that this is not right. And so with that, just banging and banging and screaming and screaming, she never opened the door. Wow. I don't even know how long it was. I was too little to understand time frame. However, next thing I know, a car drives up. I look, and this car's there, and I see this man get out of this car, and I'll never forget it. He's down there because there's stairs.

And he starts walking up, and he says, I'm your father. I'm here to get you. And that's how I met my father. And so he comes up. I can recall, and I remember going down. My stepmom at the time was with him. They were in a Camaro, and I'm getting in his vehicle. And things become such strangers. Yeah. Basically. Yeah. And all I remember is, well, yeah, you know, and it dawned on me two days ago getting prepared for this, I never really took the time to stop and analyze the whole situation, because there's forgiveness in my heart. It's vital that we understand without forgiveness, there's no way to honor the Lord and move forward in our lives. So you forgave him. Oh, yeah, definitely. You know, there's forgiveness in my mom. That's a whole story within itself. In that moment, I didn't realize she had made the call to give me up. So she gave up on me. So I understood growing up immediately what rejection really is and what abandonment is. Yeah, immediately. Wow. So I enter a new family where my father at the time was making $22 an hour in the 80s. He was a journeyman lineman foreman. That's a lot of money. Yeah, for the 80s for CPS. And then, you know, this is all fast forward, of course.

One day, my aunt comes home and she says to me, cussing and screaming at me as if I did it. I'll never forget. It was by the washer. Still a kid. You say your aunt. My dad's sister. Your dad's sister. Begins to inform me that my dad's a drug addict, and he lost his job, and that's it. We're going down. She started telling me all these things he did, and I didn't understand. I was just like, what? How were you then? I don't even remember. Maybe I don't want to. I don't dare tell a lie. So in between that, I can recall from the moment of the porch to my dad losing his job and finding out he was a drug addict. Here's what I do remember. I remember I can recall my father getting my stuff ready. My grandma, my grandpa packing in a bag, my blanket, and I'd be waiting outside for my mom again and again and again and again, and she would never show. I would talk to her, and she would give me this story. Like she was supposed to come pick you up for the weekend or something. But it was never failing. Not failing. The same pattern I realized later. I met this man. He's the one. It's perfect.

I got to do it. So I realized this is my life, waiting for someone to love me, waiting for that answer to arrive. I'm sure there's a lot of people who've been through something similar. And so that's the backdrop that will catapult me into a life where I was just wounded. And so then enter my father and his family. My father now is a drug addict, a heroin addict still to this day. He struggles. He's so hardened. But I love him, by the way. My family on this side was extremely dysfunctional from my grandfather shooting himself to commit suicide. My father lived, and he was even more angry. My uncle stabbed me in my dad right in front of my eye to carry him. I drove for the first time. Even when I was driving, I drove my dad to the hospital. Just chaos. My aunt always beat him. Trauma. Oh, man. It's true trauma. So I can recall this one moment. This is when life really began to become clear to me. I hid this bunny rabbit. We had what was called, I don't know how you say it in English, a back room, a cuartito. Well, I hid this bunny rabbit. A real rabbit? Yeah, a real rabbit. So I had this pet. My grandfather did not allow pets.

And so one day I came home. I was so happy every day. Finally, I had a rabbit. I go to school. I come home bullied, punched. My shoes were taped. You name it. Oh, man. But I would come home to this rabbit. One day I get home, and I enter. I go straight there, and my grandfather's standing there with it in his hands. And my grandfather said, this is why you don't love. Because eventually it's going to die, and I'll never forget it. He snapped the head off of it. And I remember the blood spewing on me, and I remember being in shock. Oh, my goodness. I'm so sorry. And I can recall, sir, honestly, that would be the time where I sat there, and I weep, and I sat in my backyard, and I remember thinking to myself finally as a kid, processing, computing, and putting things together. My mom didn't love me. My dad chooses drugs. He can't love me. My grandpa's so angry. My grandma loved me, but she only had no legs, this fingers, and these fingers. She was an amputee diabetic, so she couldn't even move. But she loved me with all her heart. That's the love that sustained me along the way, honestly. I remember sitting there, looking at two pieces of a rabbit that was once the thing I loved, I held on to.

And I remember his words echoing, this is why you don't love. This is why you don't love. This is why you don't love. I can recall an anger for the first time. And then I can clearly remember as time moved on, my father just slowly being taken by the drug. And then it got to a point where around 11, 12, I found a new form of love, and it was in the streets. and it was with the gang, and I entered a life of what I didn't understand then, rebelliousness, disobedience, and I entered it well. So, you know, to sum it up, I do understand what it's like to come from a family who was cursed, but sitting here today, I understand what it's like to be, even though I come from a generational curse, I am the generational first. Generational first. Amen. And so these are the things, well, because it's true. Yeah. These are real things for us. You know, I can recall sitting, I eventually ended up in the penitentiary, and we'll get there. I can recall sitting there as a young man, I wanted to be a police officer. That was my goal. There was one officer that was always nice, and I'll never forget, he said to me, it's a good thing to protect and serve. It's a good thing. And it is too. Yeah, it is. And so because I joined these gangs, and because I did what I did, I ended up going to the penitentiary for attempted capital murder on a police officer. So I can recall the day that I landed there on my 18th birthday, and I can recall ending up in a specific prison known as Chocolate City, and they're real cells. It's not the door, it's cells. So you hear the clank, you see everything, and I remember sitting in my cell thinking, telling myself, what did you do? To get here, to end up here. You were supposed to be a cop, Frank. Now you're in the penitentiary for shooting a cop. And it was in there that I went even deeper. I found the next wave of gangs. Was that part of the gang life that you'd gotten messed up in? In the street gangs, yes. We, you know, because we're kids, we're running around, we have no direction, we're lost, we're hurt. And we can cling to each other. One thing we can do there is find some kind of common ground that says, I'm not going to admit it to you because I can't cry in front of you, but I'm so hurt. If it's okay with you, just kind of stick with me and whatever's going to take

place, we're going to do it together. But what we really don't understand at that point, because we're so young, what we're really saying is, hey, we're about to embark on a life of evil and become sons of disobedience. We're going to land in a place where we're going to learn real fast. You want to be a man? Here you are. So at 18, you entered the- Well, I actually started, I caught the case. I went on the run for two years, turned myself in. I just couldn't do it anymore. They made a mistake and they sent me to federal prison at 16, 15 turning 16. Oh my gosh. Yes. When I realized where I was at, all the tough man talk, I'll be honest, I was pounding at the door saying, hey, you made a mistake. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. You just thought you were tough. Oh, believe me. There was a gentleman that looked at me. I'll never forget him from head to toe, tatted, the bulk, everything. He says, do you know where you're at, son? And I remember telling him clearly, I don't care where I'm at. I don't care who you are. And he pointed and I'll never forget the sign. And I could read. And I finally saw the sign of all signs, the Texas Wackenhut Federal Corrections Facility. And he said, that's right. You're with the big boys. Let me tell you, in that moment, I realized real fast without my firearm, without my friends, I was pounding on that door saying, hey, you made a mistake. I was waving the white flag. And so knowing that they made a mistake, they released me immediately the next day, only to realize they certified me the next day. What does that mean? It means that they charged me as an adult. So I didn't even get to go home. So from that time on, I started doing my time in the county jail. And you were only 16. I was in the county jail already certified. Wow. Yeah. Certified. And so I waited and then I went to the penitentiary on my birthday. I landed in the state penitentiary. On your birthday? On my birthday, June 21st. Happy birthday to you. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. Freaking out, realizing, OK, so this is real. The decisions I had made. Go ahead. Let me ask you. So save your place where you're there. But was anything in your life about God or about was anyone in your family or where you were? Was anybody trying to serve God? Did you have any exposure to a relationship with Jesus up to age 18 when you landed in prison? And so that's where my point is going to lie, because I lacked. We did not pray once. I didn't even know who Jesus was. I didn't know what love was. I didn't know there was such thing as prayer. I didn't know there was such thing as hope. I didn't know anything. All I knew is I was so

hurt and angry and I had become an instrument of war. I had no mercy, none. And in between that, I'd gotten shot in my face. And. And I passed away. The doctor, I remember in that moment, my eyes, I woke up, they were cutting my clothes and I grabbed the doctor's hand. I said, what are you doing? These are my brand new clothes. And he said, son, you're in shock. And I said to him, no, you're in shock. And there was a police officer right here. And as soon as I saw that cop, he said to me, son, you died, this man brought you back. Oh my goodness. Which we know now was the Lord, praise the Lord. But it became- Even when we're not seeking God, and that's where I'm at now, you know? And so all this to say, you know, it's a longer story, but for time's sake, we don't wanna glamorize ever our past. We wanna testify always our future in Him. So where I'm at with that is all that led up to one understanding. I was godless, therefore I was hopeless, therefore I was lifeless. All in that order, because I had no order. There was no order in my life. So the Bible says without God and without hope in the world, in Ephesians. I don't remember the chapter, but yeah.

Right, and so I had no vision, and I was perishing. Yeah, without vision, the people perish. That's it, and because I had no aim, sir, I had no direction, it was impossible. I was not gonna have a vision. Then on top of that, I had no character. All I had was an influence. And what I clung to was, hey, if these guys are asking him to be this kind of person, I can do that, and I exceeded. The gang life. Yes, I took what I knew from street gangs. And now you're in prison gangs? Yeah, and so I applied in the prison gangs, and I realized real fast, wait a minute. I know this, I can do this. All I have to do is whatever they're not willing to do. And I was always the one, send me. Oh, wow. Right, and so I was always being sent. And then there was that crave, that drive, that whatever, and really what it was is I was driven. Satan will drive you, and the Holy Spirit will lead you. So I was driven. Satan drives you, the Holy Spirit tries to lead you. If. Yeah, if you're willing to follow. Yeah, for me, sir, there was just, it stemmed from a lack of godlessness, not understanding truth, and so what that did

was birth and reproduce in others nothing but pure evil and defiance. Yeah. And so that's where I was at. That's where I was at, all stemming from, and again, I don't blame my family. I understand now there's a real enemy. Yes. There's a real enemy. Yeah. And so. So how long, did you only go to prison once, or? Definitely not, sir. I was trying to, just this week, see if I can get some kind of information. It's been back to back to back, and I lost count. Oh. So in and out. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. To prison. Yes, sir. In Texas. Yes. Did you ever go to the feds, or were you? No, just state. Texas state prisons. State, yeah, just state, sir. But it wasn't up to understand. I can recall, at one point, I went back again,

and we're getting off the bus, and there's this guard, and he's reading everybody's TDC number, and they have, at that time, 111, big old long numbers. And so he reads mine, and it says 812-517. I'll never forget it. He looked up at me, he said, when you gonna stop? Oh. So he knew this wasn't your first rodeo, because your number. Yeah, you know, but that really impacted. I remember looking at him, and for the first time, I felt embarrassed. I can recall standing there, telling myself again, what are you doing? What are you doing, Frank? So what, so you went to prison several times. Yes. When did you finally have an encounter with God? Because you can't, you might have, did you ever even try to change yourself? And I'm sure it didn't last very long. I didn't. You didn't even try to change yourself. I didn't understand at the time that there was hope. I really did not. Yeah. I'm the type of individual, when I have a focus, I have a fixed focus. Yeah. And a fixed focus is a poor foundation.

You were all in in the wrong direction. That's it. Yeah. That's it. But you were all in. Absolutely, that's just who I am. I understand that. Yeah, that's who I am. You know, I learned in an early age, people talk on the streets about loyalty. I understood commitment. Commitment, by definition, is a state or quality of devotion you have for a cause. I had no other cause but to do wrong. To do wrong. Because I was wronged. And that's what I learned, you know. But in that, sir, there was- What was the turnaround? Well, you know- Am I jumping too far ahead? No, no, no, definitely. I do want to get to the turnaround. Yeah, we want to be as organic as we can. the Holy Spirit lead. Yeah. Even then I came out, I finally did good, settled down, had a child. What year was that about? Oh man, it's such a blur. So I think I believe 2001, 2002. Okay. And in that, started living the right life, started going to work, started doing everything I was supposed to do. Still weren't following Jesus. Well, that's the thing. That's where it leads up to. Okay. What I didn't understand then is I was still bringing in all my hurts, all my wounds. Yeah.

So I was thinking and believing that I can do this, but there's the word I. And then what's that one little word in the middle of the word pride? Yeah, that's it. So my pride was telling me, right. And on my own strength. And so then the mother of my children comes to me. So now I have I, now I have me. And then put them together. I'm the one who's going to do this. I'm the one who's been. And so what I realized, sir, is there was not a full understanding. Frank, you're still so broken. You're still so hurt. And you're still so angry. And there's so much resentment, so much unforgiveness, starting with yourself. Yeah. It's not possible. Unforgiveness towards self is a big. And that was everything up in it. That was everything. And so for me, that was a big problem for me. I carried the fact that my mother ended up, you know, not being in a good place and I'll spare her. She's passed away now. So I blame me for that. I blame myself for her abandoning me. I wasn't good enough. She kept my other brothers and sisters. So I always thought, why not? You know, I mean, I'm carrying my father's weight. It's my fault that he's a heroin addict, carrying my family's weight. Yeah. Yeah. That's a common thing for people to take that. Our children take that on themselves. It is. It is. And I realize now sitting here, you know, we're not called to carry any other weight other than the weight of the cross. I mean, the weight of the cross is heavy enough. And so moving forward. So there came to a point where because I was still angry, you know, we want to be mindful. We're saying, but I do want to release the truth for that one that's out there that believes that that you've done something that you just can't come back from. Can't be forgiven. But that's the truth. That's right. And that's where I was at. I couldn't forgive myself. So being with the mother and my children, I at that point was so angry. I remember one day, sir, here's the real truth. Make sure I pray on this and the Lord wants this release. We want the truth to reach hearts. One day I discovered she was doing something that you just don't do. And I didn't know I was already triggered from a woman that abandoned me and hurt me so much. So what I did with my understanding is I got that. I projected it on her and I released a wrath. And I can remember telling her, I'm going to take your life. I need you to stop. That was in one room. The next thing I know, sir, we're in the room all the way at the end. And my daughter, who was so tiny at the time, screamed so loud, she snapped me out of it. And I looked and her mom was there, breathless, purple. I had made a decision. And I realized I put my hands on her and I did something that I should not have done.

And thank you, Jesus. The breath was caught, everything. And man, and from that day on till right now, I don't know where my daughters are. I don't know how old they are. I don't know what their favorite color is. I don't know if they're married. I don't know. I don't know anything. Here's what I know. I was unsafe and chaotic. And I had no mercy. I literally was an instrument of war. Because I had no God. Because Jesus had not been revealed to me at the time. And so now it cost me my life. That's when the gunshot. Did you try to take your life or someone else had shot you? From actions I had caused. So I've literally lost my life. I lost my home. Because you died right then. I did. So at this point, I've lost everything. So now you've lost your family. My family, my job, my vehicle, my car, my bank, my everything. I come to a point and I can remember she went to H-E-B. She went in the restroom. I was so deceived. I was like, we're going to go get beer. And we're going to go home. We're going to talk about this. So I take her to H-E-B with my daughter. She goes in the restroom. And thank you, Jesus, for giving her wisdom. She tells a lady in there, I need help. This lady comes out and she's putting her hands and I'm just looking. And I see the police officers and I understood it. My life got so real so fast. And I remember this younger cop was threatening me and holding and this older cop, I don't, I'm never going to forget him, says to the young one, puts his hand and says, you're not going to accomplish anything like that. He looked at me, sir, and I'll never forget him. I pray I see him one day. He looked at me, he said, son, this is the day that you're going to realize looking back, whether it's today or 20 to 25, and he was right on the dot, 20 to 25 years later, that you're going to understand you caused this. Don't cause anything else. Walk. You have no more home. You have no more life. You have no more nothing, but you have a direction to choose. Choose the right one. Wow. And I walked for hours with nowhere to go. Wow. And so in between all that to say, so we don't get confused and get rerouted. My life had become very, very real. And here's the answer to the question. At what point? So then I go back to the old life that I know. Now I'm on drugs. Now I'm fully addicted. Now nothing is healing me. Now I'm even more angry. Now I become even more violent because now I've already processed and accepted. I'm ready. I'm ready to end it. What else is there? That's it. And so I went even further. And then one day I had done something to people that you just don't do something to. And I let it be known, you're just going to have to do what you're going to have to do. I get it. And

they obliged. They obliged. And I remember being in a hotel room, sir, and I was ready. And I had talked to my mom, mind you. She'd come in and out, in and out. And I don't even know how because I understand now it's supernaturally. The next thing I know, I'm on the phone with my mom and I'm hearing her voice. And in my mind, I'm telling myself and I'm going to tell her. And when I heard her voice, I broke. And I said, I love you. Why can't you love me? What did I do that was so wrong? Why did you not open that door? What did I do to you? And so I told her, mom, I'm going to die. There's people after me. So you had done something that you knew was going to cost your life. When it got back to the right person, they were coming for you. They already had been at that point. So I ended up at this hotel. And so I talked to my mom and I hung up with her. I'll never forget it. And I remember sitting there thinking, wow, you didn't even say none of that, Frank. And same thing. She said, I can't take you in. I can't do nothing. So and so. But here's what she did do. I didn't know at the time, but she got the number from the hotel I was at from the caller ID. And she calls the very aunt who testified against me in 1993 for taking another life. The next thing I know, I hear a knock on the door. So I want to run that back. There was a knock on the door, a knock on the door. And I remember thinking, here it is. Here it is. Here we go. Yeah. And there was no. This is it. I was so deceived. And I already know what it was like to be shot. It's not like the movies. It happens real fast. You don't get to stumble. And oh, you go, you go. So there was no fear. There was literally no fear. And I remember hearing the word Frankito. And I thought for a second there, you're you've done too much drugs. You're way drunk. You're going crazy. And I hear it again. So Frankito is is a childhood name that only my family knew. And I hear it again. And I hear it's me, your aunt, Tia. And I open the curtain. It's the very same aunt that testified me that my mom said to come get me. And I opened the door and she says, come, you're coming with me. That's how it began. Yeah. And so fast forward. So we can we can not speed it. We want to, you know, not quench the spirit. But I end up going with her. I tell her that I need to get out of the city. She has this neighbor who had his own company in oil field. He agreed to take me. And that night was in a wreck and broke his body from neck down. Oh, my goodness.

And so I start thinking, what is going on? How am I? So I accepted it. Here's where we're at. And this is where God comes meets me. I accept it. You know what? I'm just going to I'm going to do it. You know, I'm going to make a choice. And I didn't know, but I started talking to him already. Mm hmm. Right. And so my aunt tells me with my other aunt confusion, they approached me. They're like, hey, we're going to San Diego tomorrow. You want to come? I thought, you know, I'm going to San Diego, California. Well, that's what I thought, sir. Oh, and I thought I'm going to see the beach before I go. OK, because I already made the choice. I'm going to go. Oh, you already made the choice to commit suicide. Well, because I've known I've known where these people were. I was. So my thought was, oh, I was just going to take a grenade and more than one. Yeah, I already have made that choice. I've calculated because it is calculated and I made a choice. Either way, we get in the. car we're going to San Diego we're about 45 minutes in and I say how long till we're there and she says about another 20 30 I said no no how long till we're in San Diego she said about another 20 15 I said no how long till we get to the beach and my other aunt looks and she says beach I see how long till we get to the beach I want to see the beach and she says what do you think we're going I said we're we're going to San Diego California we're gonna see the beach and she says no mijo we're going to San Diego Texas I'm like what what what are you talking about so I get infuriated I'm on drugs I'm drinking I'm already ended I start cursing I start telling they pull in an arrest area I go to his restroom I do more drugs and I'm super super angry I'm violent becoming violent I come out she's working on the car and I tell her you want me to help you and she says no I got it I started telling her fine being inappropriate to my own aunt well she finishes we start driving here's where God intervenes really intervenes this is the power of God so mind you I was left on the porch fast forward there came a knock but when I was left on that porch a father said I'm your father you already come to me so I'm there and uh we start driving and it starts smoking and spewing in the car starts sputtering and we're like what and and she didn't do it right and so we're like okay there's a store right there pull over so we're going and she could not pull over I said it was a store right there and we could see ahead there was another store and we say it's okay there's another store pull in so we're passing it and she could not I'm telling her pull in and I'm cussing she's like I can't and so it's so chaotic and I'm like why can't you she said the steering wheel and I'm looking at her

right she was trying to turn in and couldn't and so I reached over and with I was so angry with all my strength it would not turn wouldn't turn it would not turn I took the key out and it still drove she said you're gonna mess up my car and and I put it try to put it in oh and that really would have messed it up well you would have dropped the transmission that's what my goal was stop right there I was done I'm gonna get out and I'm done yeah but the car kept driving the steering wheel wouldn't turn now we're at a pathway right here right under the bridge and here's what happens this is a real thing in the name of Jesus across we could see one last store and when I looked up all I remember is there's a store and it had a heart and it said loves yellow with red heart and it said loves and I can remember saying there's a store and she's saying I can't and the other answer like you're gonna break it and we're getting right here here's the store and she's picked her hands up and is driving and then finally it goes click and it drove in by itself and it stopped at the gas pump what and the car died right there and and and so I get off that's the hand of God right and so I still didn't understand that yeah I'm still in a state of yeah everything other than what's causing I walk in get a get a chocolate milk there's all other kinds of things going on and I come back out I sit in the middle I already given my my aunt for some reason my wallet was in the front I didn't even care at that point I already had given her my vehicle withdrawing my money it didn't matter I knew I'm done all of a sudden we see this girl's face pop in and she begins to say hi my name is and I'm here to offer this bread and it's not only the bread but it's the bread of life in the name of and and she gives this whole pitch and I remember looking at her and my time at the bread of life and Jesus so she ended up being from a ministry home oh really that was selling banana bread to fund the home oh wow so at that point I'm on drugs I'm extremely hungry not you know I'm looking and my aunt looks at me and she's like do you want to get I don't care get it and and but something caught my attention she said we come from a home that's in the middle of nowhere just the day before I remember telling my aunt I need to go somewhere in the middle of nowhere I need to get out of this city the middle of nowhere you just said that the day before so we got the bread paid to the five dollars she went my aunt who's with my other aunt there's confusion never talks about God nothing she turns to me and says I don't know why but I feel like you need to talk to her and I said I do too I got out the car I went up to her then she was in a van with girls and guys and they had a bunch of bread and I said excuse me what did you say

and I'll never forget it this is where God really intervened she said my name is Sabrina so on so forth we'll respect that I'm from such and such place and I come in the name above every other name mighty King Jesus Christ and today I come bringing you hope and she started telling me about how this is this disciple home. And I asked her, how much? She said, that's the thing. You don't pay nothing that's been paid for you. And I didn't understand. I said, no, how much rent? She said, you come as you are. You come as you are. And I said, wait a minute. So I can come right now? She said, you can get in. Come on. And the men started walking up. So I started freaking out like, because you know, you don't. And so on and so forth. And I said, listen, I can really go to this place. She said, yeah, she gives me the car, whatever. So I make a, I tell her I'll be there tomorrow. She said, there'll be, there'll be availability. We go back. I make arrangements out of all these things. And I ended up going the next day. I went to a home in Mattis, Texas. And then here's a reality. You know, we talked about this last week. I really want to share that. I was just going to go for about three weeks to a month. Yeah. Maybe sober up, find a place. Kind of get out of the way. Yeah. I decided on mine and really leave Oklahoma, Miami. I don't know, Denver. Be gone. Go somewhere. You're done here, Frank. Right. Because the next one's going to be in the back of your head. And I understood that. And here's the reality. I end up staying in these homes for almost six years of my life. Wow. And it's there where I found relationship with Jesus. It's there where I understood what it truly meant to fully surrender, have no more terms, no reservations, no conditions. I was done. And it was there where I understood intimacy. With God. That's it. And it was in those years where, you know, King David, it talks about him, how he went into the cave of Adulam. Adulam, by definition, is freedom for the people. He went back into that cave because it was a secret time. It was a secret place. And he was hidden. He went back to the original intent. So in these homes, in this structured life, in these faith based ministries, I went back to where I really was. Gentle, kind, loving, helping, server, all these things. Really, the person you never knew, you really never knew because you never had an opportunity to live that way. But really, I did know. I remember when I made the call to these people and I let it be known, I can't do it anymore. I already knew, sir. I just could not do these things anymore. So what I was really saying to myself is I don't want to live wicked anymore. I don't want to be evil anymore. I don't want to be an instrument of war anymore. I want

to know what it's like to hold a little rabbit and pet him and not worry about anybody. Thank you, Lord. You know, and so it was in these next soon to be years that I really did give my life to the Lord fully. So that structured environment helped you to start over. Absolutely. I would encourage it for any man and woman. It's so important not to go to the same old people, places and things when you get out because the same thing's going to happen. That's part of your testimony. That's a real thing. You know, I can testify every time because I did it on my own strength and I went to where I knew and see the Lord. He wants to always do something different. Yeah. That's not the Lord's way. His character. So Isaiah 43, 18 says, forget the former things. Do not dwell on the past. See, I'm doing a new thing. Do you not perceive it? Yeah. And he has and he's been faithfully in. Yeah. So it wasn't in that one home where you started. How long were you there? So I was there in that home six months, but I still understood I wasn't ready. I went to another home, which again, I told myself maybe three months. I end up staying at that home for 18 months. I got blessed out, but I still knew I wasn't ready. I still knew that I had something in me that needed to let go and that I needed to move past because I began to understand there's just places where the Lord's going to take you where you can't take these things with you. And I understood most importantly, sir, that my character still wasn't developed because I didn't have his character. So he wasn't going to allow me to obtain something my character could not maintain. Amen. I like that. So when I got blessed out, I went to another home, a transitional home. I spent the next 22 months there.

Got blessed out there. I still knew I wasn't ready. I went to another home for another 12 months. When you say blessed out, what does that mean? So blessed out is meaning you completed the program, the time, the duration. And they sent you with their blessings. Oh, yeah, because we serve, you know, first Corinthians 1440. And in all things do decently and do in order. We serve a God of order. So we understand there in order for you to not go back to your vomit, right? In order for you to serve faithfully, in order for you to make real impact. Because here's the truth. God doesn't give you the anointing for approval. He gives you the anointing for impact. Yeah, that's where we're at. So he was building that within me. When I would leave these homes, I knew there was another level of growth. That's what we want, the fruit of maturity. But I also knew I was giving him this area, this area, this area. But this one, you just can't have. Deep down. That's it. So the Bible's very clear. The deep brokenness. Yes. And so in that moment, in those moments, in those times is when I would look, that's how I knew when I was finally released. Deep had to cry out to deep. Just did. And so deep within me, I knew, sir,

see, I don't go back to drugs. I don't go back to women. I don't go back to money. I go back to death. My Lord saved me and set me free from death. From death. I'm hidden. I don't worry about who's chasing me, because here's what I understand. It's not even necessarily them. It's the spirits behind them. There's an enemy that's out for my soul. We wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against spirits and principles. So I have two choices. Focus on opportunity or opposition. Opposition's gonna come. There's an opportunity, what? To not focus on myself, but to stay focused on the soul. Amen. And so that's what I began doing and understanding. And really, what these discipleship programs did for my life is they just showed me that the Lord had ordained a place and time for me, a place and time where I was put in a place and had a lot of time, right? What does that remind you of? Right? Come on, somebody. And it was in there where I got to meet other people

who were sincerely not only seeking the Lord, but surrendered to the Lord. And I got to see what they were modeling. Wow. And in that, I was like, wait a minute. I want that. I want that. Lord, can you give me that? Hey, Lord, you know what? More than that, can you give me you? And live into that? Amen, amen. And then it was all together. And by the time you knew it, he was doing that for me. He was doing that for me. So yeah, it's one of those things. He took me from the porch, and in my life, he set me in the palace. Amen. And you know, it was a big thing. It was a big thing. So all these many years, you weren't married for, how long did you go with that? I know you're married now. We're gonna talk about that briefly, but how long did you go unmarried? All my life, until a year and a half ago. Oh yeah? Yeah. You had children with other women,

but you never really got married. Yes, yes. So you didn't do things God's way. Definitely not. And now, you ended up in Lubbock. Yeah. Actually, that's kind of a weird story. Why don't you cover that real quick. Okay, so about a year and a half ago, a year and a nine months ago, I heard clearly, prepare, you're going to West. And you were in Central Texas. I was in Kerrville, Texas at the time. Oh, where they just now had an awful flood. Yes, breaks my heart to still keep them in prayer. I still keep contact with my brothers and sisters. Yeah. And so in that, I heard, prepare, you're going West. Didn't think nothing of it. Next day, well, that night, actually, a brother rebukes me, telling me strongly, in love, you're seeking out Jezebel, and I want to encourage you to stop. Seek the Lord. That was, did I get a wife? Wrong kind of woman. That's the right, and so. Be careful. Yeah. Be careful what you wish for.

That's it, right? Even Saul was going to give the wrong wife to him, so. But in that, I remember parking at a park, and just weeping and repenting, saying, Lord, I will never seek a woman again. Forgive me. And Ecclesiastes chapter five, verse four, in the word of God reads, when you make a vow to the Lord, do not delay to pay it. I vowed to him, I will not ever again. That night, I'm asleep, and it's rare that I have visions and dreams, but I dreamt of this girl with long black hair, black shirt, black pants, black watch, and a brown Bible. And I was in her apartment, and I said, who are you, and why am I here with you? And I woke up. Lisa Gutierrez Munoz, which you know now, she had came to Freedom in Jesus, before I even knew y'all even existed. Yeah, she joined us. It's the first time ever she'd been with us. Amen. She went and joined us when we went to the hobby unit and the marlin unit in Central Texas. Yes. Which were women's units. Yep. And she actually came with us, first time she'd ever been,

she'd never been in prison, I don't think. And the first time she'd ever been doing ministry in prison, she was a Christian. Yes. So she had been with us, but you knew her. She goes, we were at the same church. At the same church. She hadn't told anybody that she was leaving the prison, and we didn't know. And so she ends up seeing, who was now my wife at the time, speak. And she had believed that the Holy Spirit allowed her to receive, to introduce us. So she actually waited and went to our leadership, which I found out, I confirmed. I asked the leadership, because you want to do things in order. Sure. So she calls me up the next morning. She went to the church leadership and kind of got- Yeah, and was like, yeah, I believe, yeah, she got counsel. I believe that the Spirit's telling me to introduce Frank with Rosita. So at that time, you know, I wasn't with nobody. Fast forward, that night I had- But you were active in church or whatever. Oh yeah, serving, grounded. Life is the church, not the building, the church. Yeah, absolutely, I'm surrendered.

So I have that dream that night. The next morning after I just repented and cried to the Lord and bowed to Him, no more women, she calls me and says, Hey, you know, are you single? And so I'm like, Sister, are you trying to give me... I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear it. And so... You thought maybe she was coming on to you. Well, she said, I have this friend. She explained the whole thing, but I explained to her, no. No, I'm not going to compromise. I'm going to serve the Lord. Yeah. I go to the car and I'm frustrated. And I'm like, I hear the Lord so softly. I mean, just, wow. Make the call. And I started arguing with Him, wrestling. No, I'm not going to make the call. I made this vow yesterday. That's right. That's a real thing, sir. And I received that peace.