November 8 | The Life-Giving Word of God

annual men's retreat. In the last few years, we have done our retreats in small groups offsite at cabins or different kinds of venues, small groups. This time, we regathered as a large group of men. We went to Elaso Ranch in Hawkins, Texas and just had a fantastic weekend. About a year ago, a friend of mine shared with me a devotion that I ought to try called Better Mornings and it's put out by a ministry called Better Man. And I started reading that devotion and immediately I thought, this guy knows how to speak to men and when you read it, it just grabs hold of you. And we started spreading that around and more and more men in our church are subscribed to that devotion, that Better Mornings devotion. And what I've discovered is I've been able to give that to men who are doing nothing in God's Word and don't know Christ and it has met them. One guy was disappointed that it didn't come out on Saturdays and Sundays. He didn't understand why it didn't come out every day. But this is a man who doesn't know Jesus and he's loving it. And then I've listened to men and I've listened to them say men who are strong, mature in their faith. It speaks to them. It's substantive to them. They're growing through it. And so very grateful for this particular tool that we have as a way to draw near to God as men. And then we started asking, I wonder if we could have Chris Harper come and do our men's retreat. This year, I have so many men now that are reading the different devotions and so forth. I wonder if he would be able to come. And so we invited him to come and he spoke at our men's retreat this weekend. By the way, on those devotions, I would encourage you as men to get them. I've actually encouraged ladies to get them as well. I subscribe to a couple of devotions that are women to women. I do that so I can try to understand more and more how women communicate with each other and how they best understand things. I don't always do so great at that. So it's helpful. And it would do you well to understand how your sons think, how your husbands think, and how the men around you think if you subscribe to the devotion as well. You'll see what men attach to in the language that they hear that draws them in with an interest. So if I could just cheer you on in that particular resource. This weekend was a phenomenal time for our men at 11 o'clock. They'll all be piling in the ones who are part of their retreat. I know some are in here this morning in this service. And so we're excited as they roll back in as well. We were able to do a podcast with Chris yesterday. It's gonna be episode 76 in our Grint's Against the Grain Podcast. And so I just, if you can, great opportunity to get a little bit more dialed in to the kinds

of things that he speaks of. If you'd like to do that. Again, we're really grateful that if you weren't able to be on the retreat, you'll get a taste of what our men received this weekend as Chris comes and leads us this morning. Come on. So good to be with you this morning. What an honor it was to be able to serve your men this weekend. I meet a lot of like-minded men in what I do. Rarely do I meet like-hearted men. And I've met like-hearted men here at 121. It was incredible. We had a phenomenal weekend. Probably the best camp food I've ever ate. And I got to sleep in a bunk bed. I haven't done that in 30 years. So good. So good. I want to share with you today about discipleship. I know that's kind of a loaded term. I know you've been going through a series we are called and we are sent. But I want to talk today about discipleship. I will often be talking to men, but ladies make no mistake. This is good. This is good for you as well. If you have your copy of God's word, turn to 2 Timothy chapter 2. 2 Timothy chapter 2. I'm just going to read two verses this morning, verses 1 and 2. Context is always good. Paul is near the end of his life. In fact, here in just a couple of chapters, He'll say, "My life is coming to an end." (Inaudible) Second Timothy two verses one and two, you then, he's writing to Timothy, you then my child. He says my child, this is not his biological child, this is his spiritual child. Make no mistake, there are biological parents and there are spiritual parents, amen? And listen, I was trained in a way that when the preacher talks to you, you can talk back, amen? Good, good. You then my child, my spiritual child, be strengthened, he says, by the grace that is in Christ Jesus. And what you've heard from me in the presence of many witnesses in trust to faithful men

who will be able to teach others also. Let me read that again, you then my child be strengthened by the grace that is in Christ Jesus and what you've heard from me, what you've learned from me as I imitate Christ, you imitate me. What I've done in the presence of faithful witnesses. He says, and trust that to faithful men who will be able to teach others also. So says the word of God, amen? Watch this, watch Paul, Timothy, faithful men, others. Paul, Timothy, faithful men, others. And two verses, Paul gives us the plan of discipleship for the church of King Jesus. Now there may be different schemes and different programs that come down the pipe. All those things are good and fine. I'm gonna be very descriptive today, not prescriptive, but make no mistake, this is the plan for discipleship. This is how we're going to win the world. This is how we're training up the next generation. Paul, Timothy, faithful men, others. Four generations of discipleship in two verses. How long is a generation in the Bible? It's about 30 years, four times 30, 120 years of discipleship in two verses. Ain't none of y'all live in past 120. This is what you need, right here. This is it. This is the plan. Men, women, what you've learned,

what you've seen in the presence of witnesses, what you've imitated, I need you to pass it on to faithful others who will then pass it on to others also. It's what we call intergenerational discipleship. What is discipleship? It's simply taking what you possess and passing it on to someone else. I had a roommate in college, a wonderful guy. He was always broke and he wanted, one day he comes. He says, Chris, I want to take guitar lessons. I have enough for one lesson. So he took one guitar lesson and he learned those beginning chords better than anyone I've ever met. He would sit around the dorm room playing those beginning chords. It got, it got annoying. And then one day he has this idea, a true story. He has this idea. He takes an ad out in the paper when we used to do things like that. And he says, beginning guitar teacher looking for students. Within two weeks he had 17 students and these students are paying him. And with that money he would go and get another lesson. They thought he was a genius, he was an idiot. (audience laughs) He would just stay one lesson ahead. They had no idea. And he's just passing on that lesson. And I'm watching this and I'm thinking that's discipleship.

It's exactly what it is. Intergenerational discipleship. Taking what you know, you don't have to know everything. You don't know everything. But you know something and you take it and you pass it on to the next, intergenerational. One generation passing it on to another. And listen, age is relative. If you are 12 years old, 20 is old. If you're 20, 40 is old. If you're 40, 60 is old. If you're 60, 75 is old. If you're 75, you're just old. Congratulations, you made it. You got everybody covered. It's intergenerational discipleship. And I'm telling you today more than ever we need intergenerational discipleship. You all need to understand that there are a generation of young men, millennial men, now a second generation. Gen Z men that are growing up without a God. to be a good man, a godly man, a real man. In the 1960s, 4% of all young men grew up without a father in the home, 4%. They were actually father orphaned, 4%. Today, that number is 40%, 40. And the closer you get to urban city centers, that number doubles to 80%. That are actually father orphaned. That doesn't include men like me.

I'm a functional orphan. What does that mean? Well, I had a dad in the home, but he spent the majority of his time drinking beer in a garage emotionally, physically, spiritually detached. And I don't know what's worse. Not having a dad and not knowing what you don't know or having a dad and knowing that he doesn't really care. And then that doesn't include spiritual orphans. What's a spiritual orphan? That's just about anyone who grew up in the church in the '90s, you got a lot of pizza, a lot of basketball, very little discipleship. I contend that if you take actual orphans, functional orphans, spiritual orphans, and add them all together, 70% of millennials, 70% of Gen Z are growing up without a god. Going up without someone to show them what it means to be God's man, to be God's woman. And where there's no God, there's only confusion. Where there's no second Timothy 2, verses one through two, there's confusion. We are living in an age of confusion. The height of men's ministry was in the 1990s. You had men like Steve Ferrar who wrote point man, incredible book, his widow Mary is a good friend of mine. You had Pat Morley, man in the mirror. You had my predecessor, Dr. Robert Lewis, who wrote how to raise a modern day night. You had the march on Washington promise keepers.

It was the height of men's ministry. And they were all writing and talking about the same thing. Reject passivity. You had a generation of men who knew how to be men, they weren't, so we were calling them out and calling them up. Reject passivity, fast forward 40 years. The number one enemy is no longer passivity. The number one enemy is ignorance and confusion. Millennial men, Gen Z men, they're not passive, yet we keep talking to them as if they are. No, they have a motor. They're ready to go, they're ready to serve. They're ready to learn, to grow. They just don't know which way to go. I describe them as pickup trucks. I live in Texas, I drive a pickup truck. It's a rite of passage, amen? You read the manual on your pickup truck and it tells you to keep weight in the back of the bed. Why? Yeah, she said skew, country boys say fishtail. That's right, 'cause your church, your truck, without any weight in the bed, right? It's all horsepower, but it'll begin to fishtail, it'll be in the skew throughout life. Skew throughout church, skew throughout relationships. That's where most young men are today. There's fishtail and through life, they're all horsepower. They have very little weight in the bed.

We're confused. Think about the day and the age that your sons and your grandsons are growing up in. Think about it. Think about artificial intelligence. And I'm not an anti-AI guy, I love AI. But AI is telling your sons and your grandsons that your wisdom is not needed. Why would I need your wisdom when I have chat GPT? Why would I need your wisdom when I have clogged? My son, Google fact checked me at the dinner table the other night. I wanted to throat punch him. (audience laughs) Not really, not really. But he did, he thought Google knew more than his father. And listen, knowledge and wisdom are two different things. I've got more knowledge on this iPad than all the libraries in the world. But only knowledge, the Bible says puff up and leads to arrogance and pride. Wisdom is knowledge across experience. I need the experiences of older men, the experiences of older women so that I can grow in wisdom. AI is saying, no, your wisdom's not needed. Think about automation. Automation for the last hundred years has been telling our young men that their strength is not needed. Most young men don't know what to do with their strength.

They don't know what to do with their virility. They don't know that God designed them to be. They don't understand that. So they don't do either. They don't protect and they don't provide. Do you know men that you're called to be protectors, that it's innate, it's inherent to your design? Do you know if you're lying in bed with your wife and you hear someone kick open the front door, you don't nudge her and say, babe, go check that out? [LAUGHTER] Never do that. Someone recently sent me a newspaper article about a man and his wife. They were on a Sunday walk. He had his wife's hand. He's walking off the curb. Men used to do that. A drunk driver comes around the curb, loses control of the car. He grabs his bride, throws her out of the way. The car hits him and pins him against a tree and kills him instantly. A few hours later, someone comes and they nail a Superman cape on that tree because he's a hero, amen? Could you imagine it if it would have been the other way around? If she would have thrown him out of the way and she would have took the hit, would we have called him a hero? No, we would have called him a coward. Because there's something innate in a man called

to be a protector, a protector, confusion. In the 1920s, men lied about their age so that they could fight in World War II. Today, we lie about our gender so that we can win gold medals. We're confused. We're confused. In fact, think about culture. Culture is telling your sons, your grandsons, the gender is not even a real thing. The gender is a social construct. Any Lyle Lovett fans in the house, Lyle Lovett? It's like two classy people in Colliville, great. Lyle Lovett is my favorite singer, songwriter, Texas singer, songwriter, my wife. Years ago, it gets me tickets to the Lyle Lovett concert and we're there, we're at the show. She leans over and she says, "Babe, I'm not feeling well." I said, "Babe, no problem. The bathroom's that way. Lyle and I, we got it." So she goes to the bathroom and she text me from the bathroom and she says, "Hey, I'm really not feeling well." I said, "Babe, I am really praying for you." And Lyle is putting on such a good show. And she text me a few minutes later. She says, "No, really, I'm sick. We need to go." So I told Lyle, "Hey, I got a leaf. I got a leaf." So we go home.

I'm in my office the next day. And she text me. She says, "Hey, do you know why I was sick?" I said, "No." She said, "I'm pregnant." I said, "How did that happen?" She's like, "Do you really need to know?" And listen, it was our first kid and I'm kind of a man's man. And so I'm telling everybody I can't wait to have a son. I can't wait to have a son to carry on my legacy, right? But in my heart of hearts, man, I wanted to be a dad girl so bad. So bad. So you go through all the appointments. And finally, you get to that appointment where the doctor has like that Harry Potter wand and you see the baby on the screen. It's a true story. I'm sitting in the office and the doctor's flipping the baby around and I jumped up. I said, "Doc, there it is. It's a boy." And the doctor said, "Mr. Harper, sit down. That's its arm." [LAUGHTER] Got a little excited. Doctor flipped it over again and said, "Actually, it's a little girl." I said, "Oh, boy, he will give you the desires of your heart." What's crazy is looking at that screen, I couldn't tell the difference between a boy and a girl. Do you know we're living in a world that is telling you there's no difference between a boy and a girl?

Absolute confusion. And the church-- listen, the church is not innocent. We've played our hand in this as well. For decades now, the church has been catering to women and children. Why? Because they carry all the weight. Women and children lead in every spiritual category. They're the ones that show up to pray. They're the ones that show up to serve. They're the ones that show up to go on mission. I tell my sons all the time, you want to find a wife, go on a mission trip. It's like eight to one. They've been carrying all the water. They've been carrying the weight. So why wouldn't we start to bend towards women and children? It only makes sense. And meanwhile, us men, we just keep resigning. We just keep taking a back seat. In the Western church today, if you want to be successful as a man, show up, tie, help park cars. We'll make you a deacon. No, I think there's something more that God's church has for his men. Amen? - Amen. - Amen, and nothing wrong with the parking lot team. I'm on the parking lot team at my church. I love driving that golf cart. (congregation laughing) It's confusion.

In the only way we're gonna pull the next generation out of this confusion, out of what we call a masculinity fog is by second Timothy two versus one through two, intergenerational discipleship. So what I'm gonna do for you this morning, again, I'm gonna be very descriptive, not prescriptive, I'm gonna set up a framework that will help you do this. Less than 5% of all professing Christians are actually making disciples who make disciples. Y'all, that is on us. We have the plan. We have the 120 year blueprint right here. All we have to do is execute on the plan, amen? So a few things, how do we begin these intergenerational discipleship relationships first? And look, I'm gonna be super simple because my rabbi was super simple. The first thing we do is an invite. It's one generation looking at the next generation. It's not through sermons and it's not through email campaigns, but it's you going to someone and saying, "Hey, follow me as I follow Christ." And it doesn't have to be that theological. You can say, "Hey, would you like to get lunch?" Or, "Hey, would you like to get a cup of coffee? "Would you like to walk through the word of God with me?" And if they say, "Yes, you be sure to buy the coffee "and buy lunch, amen?" But it starts with an invite.

It's an invite. 26, 27 years old, man. I was lost as the day as long. I just finished grad school. I'm sitting in my apartment with my roommate and I said, "Hey, man, where does hope come from?" I was feeling hopeless. He said, "You should come to church with me "on Wednesday night." I said, "I'm not interested in that." This is what he said. He said, "There's free Chick-fil-A in college girls." I said, "I'm in." I'll be there early. So I went back and I went back and I met all these new friends and all these new people and every one of them wanted me to know Jesus. They couldn't wait until I met Jesus. Wait until Chris Harper meets Jesus. The world is gonna change. That's what I heard over and over and over again. And then one night coming under the conviction of my sin, hearing the gospel preached, realizing that not only had I rejected God, I wanted to be God. And there was a man named King Jesus that paid for my rebellion. And when I put my hope in him, I had hope upon hope and I was born again. Listen, listen, coming to know Christ was the loneliest I'd ever been.

Everybody in my life wanted me to know Jesus. And then when I finally met him, there was no one there to walk with me afterwards. And I wonder how many of us, that is our story. So here I am with this newfound faith, ready to go, ready to serve my King and no one to show me how. No one to invite me. It wasn't until a few months later, I walked into a church just like this one. And when I walked in a 70 year old retired pipe fitter with a sixth grade education, turned and looked at me and said, son, you have the countenance of the Lord on you. I said, bro, I have no idea what that means. I don't know if that's good, bad. He said, you know what God wants from you? I said, no, he said, he desires obedience before sacrifice. Do you know where that's at in his word? I said, no, sir, that old man sent me at his kitchen table for a year and he walked me through the Word of God. (congregation applauding) He showed me when it was to work with my hands. He showed me what it was to love God's daughter. He showed me what it was to serve God's church. He showed me what it meant to share my faith. He would have this question everywhere we go. Do you know my Jesus? A few months into our relationship, he says, hey, I'm turning 71. I'm having a pool party.

I want you to come. I said, bro, I'm not coming to your pool party. What do you do to a 71 year old pool party? (congregation laughing) He's like, no, no, I really want you there. And I said, no, no, I'm really not coming. And it's creepy, you keep pushing it. (congregation laughing) The night before the pool party, his wife, Mr. Jetta, calls me and says, hey, Mr. Don really wants you at the pool party. So you don't tell her no, I bought a cookie cake. I didn't know what else to do. Listen young men You need to hear me Before I ask her out, I took him to lunch. I said hey, I want to ask your granddaughter out But but my track record's not great man. I mess things up all the time I just want to make sure our relationship is good if I mess it up and he looks at me He says well, I suggest you don't mess it up. I said heard heard But it started with an invite I'm standing here today before you and I'm standing on the shoulders of a 70 year old illiterate pipe fitter And you act like you have nothing left to give What are we talking about No, you have something To pass on the problem is you're not passing it on it starts with an invite Then we move we move from an invite and we have to paint a target We have to give men something to aim at Especially if we're working with young men young men will follow you for a while But if they don't know where you're going they will go somewhere else

So you got to paint a target of what it means to be God's man or what it means to be God's woman That's where better man has been so successful Eight years ago, we put a flag in the ground and said we're gonna paint a target We're gonna say what it means to be God's man in the 21st century. I Was sharing that sharing that definition with a with a group of pastors in Michigan not too long ago And in one of them stood up and said well, I don't like your definition. I Said well, that's fine. It's not perfect. I said what's yours. He said well, I don't have one I said well, I like mine better than yours. I Like having one better than not having one the problem is the church doesn't have one So we don't know which way we're going And here's the beauty about the definition the the expressions of manhood can change But the principles never change because they're built on God's timeless change us word We don't have to we don't have to reinvent it. We don't have to redefine it. We just have to look to the greatest man ever King Jesus Which is exactly what we did You want to know what what masculinity is the world would have you believe that the opposite of masculinity is femininity Because they love to pit men and women against each other So they'll tell you the opposite of masculinity is femininity. That's not true Masculinity and femininity are two separate and distinct categories both to the glory of God No, the opposite of masculinity of biblical masculinity. It's not femininity. It's immaturity It's 40 year old men who still act like 10 year old boys Which is why the Apostle Paul is constantly telling men throughout the scripture to grow up To mature in Christ at one point. He even says when I became a man, I stopped thinking and acting like a boy So it's a it's an invite and it's a target man. You need to grow up. What's the what's the target? What's the definition? It's the joyful pursuit of sacrificial responsibility That's what it means to be a man Where does that come from Jesus the Bible says for the joy set before him. He endured the cross Think about that Jesus went to the cross joyfully. He didn't go whining. He didn't go complaining He didn't go bragudgingly some of y'all need to stop whining Some of you men complain too much

No for the joy set before him. He endured the cross. He joyfully pursued sacrificial responsibility the Bible says he didn't come to be served but to serve To give us life or ransom for many. That's what it means to be a man You joyfully pursue sacrificial responsibility In better man that plays out in what we call the four W's we illiterate everything because we're all secretly Baptist God's man he courageously follows God's word God's man, he loves and he honors and he protects God's woman my son one of my sons when he was eight I was a boxer growing up. So when he was eight he started boxing When he when he turned ten he had his first little amateur matches. I remember getting to this gym one time His trainer was gloving him up and and his opponent walked in and it was it was a ten-year-old girl his age His height his size that was his opponent today and I remember watching her walk in and he looked at me and he said dad I didn't think we were supposed to hit girls. I think we're supposed to protect girls. I Said you go tell them that I'm just I'm just saying I'm just saying Just saying That we honor I'm sorry we protect God's woman we excel at our work And this is where we break down that sacred secular divide. There's nothing there's nothing special about what I'm doing this morning There's no God's economy God's God's kingdom. It doesn't look like linked in No a plumber is doing a holy work and electrician is doing a holy work and accountant the Bible says if you're doing it in the name of Jesus you're doing a holy work My AC went out a couple of summers ago and my wife says call call the AC company I called this AC company they send a guy out my wife yells upstairs Hey babe the AC guys working on the AC go out and see if he needs help. I said yes, ma'am So I go around my house. I go to the AC unit the guy pops up and he goes hey You're the better man guy My church watches your videos. I said praise God man. It's hot. Let's get this AC going So I'm out there helping him fix the AC and he's done. He gets it going. I'm I'm loading up his tools for him I'm putting his tools in his truck

He looks at me. He says man. I wish I could be I could be more like you. I said, what do you mean? He said well, man, you write and you do these devotionals and you do these videos I just wish I could do more for the kingdom. I said well, how long you been an HVAC guy? He said 20 years I said how many homes have you been in? He said, I don't know 15 16,000 homes. I said, yeah, you have more influence than any mega church pastor I've ever met Could you imagine taking the gospel into 16,000 homes in their time of greatest need might I add? He started to cry on my driveway. He said, I've never thought about it like that I said today we start thinking about it like that You're doing a holy work when you're doing it unto the Lord You courageously follow God's word. You love you protect God's woman. You excel at God's work. You you better God's world Through your church through your children through your community. You you have to paint the target And then after you paint the target so remember descriptive framework It's the invite then we're going to paint the target and by the way better man is a great resource to use for that target It's why we call it better man. If you google it a pearl jam song will come up first But imagine if I go to Home Depot and the young man's helping me find a hammer and I say hey Hey, bro. You want to do an exegetical study on Colossians three with me He's probably going to call the police But if I say hey you ever thought about me in a better man He's probably going to say you know what my girlfriend was just telling me I need to be a better man Great. My church does this thing and oh by the way Colossians three is in there And so Ephesians five and six and first it's all in there It's an invite it's a target and then watch this. This is most important It's the call to put to death childhood thinking and acting Remember the apostle Paul said when I became a man, I stopped thinking and acting like a man It's the same thing for womanhood when you become a woman you stop thinking and acting like a little girl It's a call to put to death childhood thinking and acting. We are living in an age of extended adolescence Which by the way the word adolescence was not invented until 1905 The word teenager didn't exist until 1963 Prior to that there were two categories of male there were boys and men great r&b group by the way

boys And men and yet today we have this extended period of adolescence We have Men that are refusing to grow up in a recent study of 10,024-year-olds 24 years old they asked two questions. They said are you an adult 51 said no the Second question was what do you need to survive the number one answer was a credit card the number two answer was a smartphone We are in trouble We're in trouble So we have these men These men that still act and behave like like like boys and it affects all of culture all of culture Culture is told men not to assume responsibility if you assume responsibility you'll be tied down If you assume responsibility you have to give up your dreams So just be free be weightless be the pickup truck with no weight in the bed and just And it affects every level of life. Average marriage age in 1970 was 23. Average marriage age today is 32. And you say, "Chris, what difference does nine years make?" Well, that's nine years that you get to play Call of Duty in your bedroom without any real responsibility. And by the way, the greatest sanctifying agent in my life next to the Holy Spirit is my wife. She helps me look like King Jesus every day. She helps me grow, but you're living in a culture that tells you not to get married. You want to know the best thing you can do for your community, for your church? Get married early, have lots of kids, and try to do it in that order. Absolutely, absolutely.

And young men say, "Well, how did you know Miss Ali was the one?" Simple, I knew she was the one 'cause she said, "Yes." (audience laughs) That's how. She said, "Yes." She was the one that could help me look like Jesus. And she said, "Yes, so we got married." And we started having kids, the average number of kids for home in 1970 was 3.8. The average number of kids today is 1.6. We've been in a population decline forever. And no one's really talking about it. The fastest growing religion in the West is Islam, not because they out-prosletize us. They just out-birth us. Which, by the way, historically is always how Christianity has spread. We have kids and we train them up in the way of the Lord. Bring on, marriage is a sweet, sweet responsibility. I had a young man waiting on my table not too long ago. He put the food down. I said, "Young man, how can I pray for you?" He said, "Man, I'm going to see my girl this weekend. Pray that I have a good time." I said, "Praise God, how long you been with your girl?" He said, "Seven years." I said, "Whoo-hoo, seven years." I said, "When are you going to put a ring on it?" He said, "Oh man, I'm just trying to save up enough money."

I said, "Young man, lean in. I've been married 17 years and I'm still broke." You'll never have enough money. I said, "No, you like the benefits of marriage without any of the hard work of marriage. You're a coward." And anybody in here cohabitating today, I'll tell you the same thing. For the first time in history, we have more people cohabitating than we do married. You're a coward. You like all the benefits of marriage without any of the real work of marriage. If you were a real man, you put a ring on it. Quit mistreating God's daughter. Take on that responsibility. Take on that responsibility of rearing children. Take on that responsibility of training up the next generation. We got to start giving these young men and these young ladies responsibility earlier and earlier. Earlier, let them feel the consequences of carrying weight. I got a 12-year-old son and for the life of him, he cannot remember to take his lunch to school. My wife calls me, she says, "I'm taking Malachi's lunch to school." I said, "Babe, you're a saint." So I'm tucking my son in that night. I said, "Hey son, you know I love you." He says, "Yeah dad, you love me." I said, "Praise God."

I said, "You know God loves you." He says, "Yeah dad, God loves me." I said, "Son, today will be the last day your mother ever takes your lunch to school." Ever. I said, "I work hard to buy the food. She works hard to prepare the food. All you have to do is grab it off the counter and you can't seem to do that." I said, "So tomorrow when you forget your lunch, you have two options. One, you go to a Christian school, hopefully someone will exercise charity." Or two, you just go without lunch. You're not guaranteed three meals anyway. Now I was sharing that story at a parents' symposium and this astute elderly lady comes up to me afterwards and she goes, "Oh, Dr. Harper." And I know when they start with Dr. something's coming. Oh, Dr. Harper, that was so good. She says, "But I have one problem." I said, "Yeah, what's that?" She said, "Well, I think you're very mean." (audience laughing) "You're very mean to your son." I said, "You do." She said, "Yeah." She said, "My husband is a very prominent judge." I said, "He is, yeah." She said, "There are some days he forgets his briefcase

and I have to take it to the courthouse." I didn't miss a beat. I looked at her, I said, "Well, sounds like his mama, she'll let him miss a few lunches." (audience laughing) She looked at me, she said, "I think you're right." And she turned and walked up. (audience laughing) When did responsibility and pressure become such a bad thing? Some of you are complaining they can't do laundry for themselves. Well then stop doing it. Stop doing it, stop bailing them out every time something gets hard. No, no, no, it starts with an invite. You define the target, you call 'em to put to death, childhood thinking, enacting, and then lastly, watch this, lastly, you create that space, you create that space in your church, you create that space in your home for them to live out that definition. You actually get to the work of training them up, training them up, it happens in proximity. And here's what's beautiful. Once you've trained them up, and again, I'm being descriptive, this might be six months, it might be 12 months, it might be two years, I don't know, but once you've trained them up, once you see in them, they have what it takes

to be God's woman, they have what it takes to be God's man, that's when you bless 'em, that's when you affirm 'em, that's when you look at 'em and you say, hey, you're no longer a burden on the world, you're a blessing to the world, go be who God's called you to be. And you send 'em, and you send 'em, do you know how many young men today need encouragement? Do you know how discouraged we are? We're getting ready to go into the Christmas season, man. There is nothing I love more than setting with my oldest daughter and watching a good hallmarked Christmas movie, come on somebody. So good, they're all the same, they, it's amazing. We get to the end of it, we're like, we can't believe that happened, yes we can. You know, the greatest Christmas movie, actually I think it's the greatest movie ever, it's a wonderful life. I love watching it this time of year, there's this scene and it's a wonderful life. Clarence, he's whining 'cause he doesn't have his wings. In the head angel calls Clarence and says, hey, I got an opportunity, I got a very difficult case, you might be able to get your wings and Clarence is excited. He says, you really think I could get my wings and the head angel says yes, but it's a very difficult case. And Clarence goes, oh, oh heavens, is he sick? And the angel says no, it's much worse, he's discouraged. He ever looked into a face of a man who's discouraged,

it breaks my heart. There's so many, so many young men today that are discouraged and you can be the encourager. You can be the one that invites them, you can be the one that paints the target, you can be the one that calls them to put to death childhood thinking, you can create the space for them to learn and grow and be rebuked and corrected and be encouraged, be affirmed, be sent. That's two, Timothy, two, two. Paul says, Timothy, what you've heard from me, what you've seen from me entrusted to faithful men who will be able to teach others also. Paul understood that the measure of a man's life is not simply what he accomplishes, it's what he passes on. That's the measure of your life. Paul's about to die and he's not panicking about his legacy. No, he's preparing Timothy for responsibility because Paul knows that the messenger may die, the messenger will die, but the message must keep moving. And where did he learn it from? He learned it from Jesus. Jesus called ordinary men, he gave them a mission, he confronted their childish thinking, he trained them, he loved them, and then he sent them out to redeem a dying world. And those men empowered by the Spirit is how you got the gospel. It's how I got the gospel, it's why we're here today. At some point someone carried it to you, someone told you about Jesus, someone taught you to read the word, someone prayed for you, someone invested in you, and now it's your turn.

So here's my challenge, don't be the last link in the chain. Don't let the gospel stop with you. Don't make your sons figure out manhood on their own. Don't take to the grave what God gave you to give away, because one day, man, you're going to stand face to face with our king. And my prayer is that when you're there and you look back, there are generations of faithful young women. because you showed them the way. You said, because I am a take Christ, you imitate me. If we do that, we will change the world and the people of God said. Father God, thank you for this morning. Thank you for Paul's example. Thank you that he gave and he passed on what he possessed to Timothy. Timothy gave it to faithful men. Faithful men gave it to others and because of that, I could be saved. And the men and women in this room could be saved. Lord, my prayer is simple. Please God, please give us what we need. Don't let it stop with us and the people of God said. Amen. - So grateful for the morning. Yeah, feel free. - Awesome. - Thank you, Chris. Let's just pray and sit in this for a moment and I don't know which parts really dialed in and connected with you,

but let's just be a moment between you and God and what is it that God is saying to you this morning that you'd want to respond to in a way that would love him and love others. Let's just be still for a moment. (water splashing) (water splashing) (water splashing) (water splashing) (water splashing) (water splashing) (water splashing) (water splashing) (water splashing) (water splashing) (water splashing) (water splashing) (water splashing)