No Regrets | Pastor Jen DeWeerdt

Well, welcome to church, everybody. Let's give it up for the moms in the house. Happy Mother's Day. We are so glad that each and every one of you are here today. And would you put your hands together one more time and welcome all of our City First locations, especially our God Behind Bars crew. We love you so much. Love having you a part of our church. And we're just so grateful that each and every one of you are here today. And to all the mamas who nurture and care and give us all of the love that we need, we're so grateful for you and we celebrate you today. Thank you for nurturing and guiding. And we do have a special gift for you and we hope that you'll pick that up on your way out. And I wanna pause though and just acknowledge that Mother's Day, I know, can also hold heartache for some. Maybe your mom struggled in how to truly show love or perhaps you've lost your mom, even recently maybe, or maybe you've lost a child. And Mother's Day holds both beauty and grief. Just know that we're praying for you today and that we love you. And also know that there are women joining us who you so desperately want to be a mom, but that has not happened yet. Or maybe your path to motherhood hasn't gone the way

that you had expected. Just know that we're praying for you also, for God's comfort over your heart. But then also this, that hope would rise in your heart today. So we love you and we see you. And one more time, can we give it up for all the mom hearts that are in this house? We're grateful, we have grateful hearts today. We wanna tell you a little story. When Jer and I were engaged, we had this crazy idea that we were gonna become PADI certified, which means this, that we could scuba dive, we could go scuba diving. And we took the classes with some friends and it was all fun when we were in a pool with clear water and no sharks. What you need to know is that we were in a pool and were scuba diving all the time. We were so excited. We told each other stories androsology stories and we wanted to share our stories. And I wanna tell you a story that I always love and the reason for that is, Kim, my friend, she started scuba diving and as her friend said, there are a lot of turns in life. But she would say, okay, that proves that I was really good at it. I was not sad.

And I secretly prayed that the other, the rescheduled dive would be rainy as well. Well, the day of the dive came and of course it was gorgeous out. So we went to the dive shop and we got all of our gear and then we went to the boat and then we got in the boat and then we're heading out to open water and the shore disappears behind me and I can sum up my feelings in one word, regret. Why did I say I would do this? If only I had said no. So we arrived to the dive site and in open water, again, no land in sight, and we throw down the anchor and then we are told that we have to fall backwards off opposite sides of the boat. Jer's on one side, I'm on the other. We have to fall backwards into the ocean and then swim 40 or 50 yards by ourselves to meet at the line that is holding the anchor. So we fall backwards and I swam so fast to that anchor. I was like one of those cartoons, you know, like where they're running on water and I'm waiting, I'm waiting there at the anchor and then there's my husband, do do do do do do do do and I'm literally, I am like panicking there by myself and I had this thought again, deep regret. Why did I let my husband talk me into this? If only I hadn't watched Jaws, right? My kids for years were like, let us watch Jaws.

I was like, no, scarred me. So then we meet at the line and we descend 90 feet below water and we start to explore. And I am so freaked out and I am breathing so heavy which you're not supposed to do because hello, you need to conserve oxygen when you're 90 feet below the water. And I end up in such panic swimming so close to Jer that not once but twice his hand. Hits my face and knocks my breathing apparatus out of my mouth not exaggerating luckily I paid attention in class and you bring your hand over and you put it back in your mouth and What am I feeling in this moment? You said it regret You guess regret. Why did I marry this man? He's trying to end my life right now Well, as you can tell I survived the dive and So did our marriage it survived the dive And if you haven't guessed it already my message today is about regret What does it mean to have regret? Well, here's what the dictionary said it mean it says it means this to be very Sorry for for example a mistake or a decision to have sorrow aroused by Circumstances beyond one's power to repair you can't fix it And it also means this to mourn the loss or death of that means something is Terribly different than what you thought it was gonna be So today I'm not talking about regrets like I wish I hadn't eaten Taco Bell at 10 p.m. Last night Which that can be a great regret? But I'm talking about the kinds of regrets like this if Only I hadn't spoken to that person like that. I Wish I could take that one thing

Like that I wish I could take that one thing back Or maybe it's this if only I hadn't made that one decision that one decision it changed everything If only I had Parented that situation Different if only I had seen things differently if only I could go back and have a do-over in that relationship If only I hadn't been so selfish See many of you here You're not like you didn't hop in a physical boat and go out to open water where you can't see the ocean But some of you got made a decision and it's taken you a place where you never wanted to go and maybe you didn't go 90 feet below water and And you feel trapped but some of you made a decision or a mistake and even years later you still live with regret You know, I've even spoken to people in the last few months multiple people in our church congregation Who held told me that they hold sorrow in their heart for coming to know Jesus later in life Because they're like if only I had known sooner I would have done some things differently if only I had met Jesus You know before I had made that one decision or that choice. Things would be different and This is what I know that there is not one person within the sound of my voice today Who doesn't carry some level or layer of regret for something that you wish you would have done Differently or something that you wish you didn't do See we carry regret because we live in the results of the decisions that we made But here's the question today. Okay, and this is the big question I have for us as Followers of Jesus. What do we do when we can't undo what we've done? How do we live what do we do when we can't undo that decision that we made as we look at the Bible What is the process of people who overcame regret and so that is what we're going to talk about today How do we move past regret and as I've as I've looked at Scripture You know, there's lots of things that tell us how we can move past regret and I want to talk about for today And the first thing is this how do we move past regret? The first thing is this remember? You're like well Jen, I definitely remember my mistake, but this that's not what I want you to remember today I want you to remember that you are in good company See cuz starting at the very beginning in Genesis Scripture is full of people who messed up made mistakes and no doubt

experienced regret Let's just start at the beginning Genesis Adam and Eve I know they experienced regret we have regret for them, right? They ate the fruit and then they realized what they had done And why do we know they experienced regret because they went and hid because regret will always make you want to hide You know, there's a lot of things that we can do to move past regret And then moving on, I'm sure Moses felt deep regret We can move past regret and we can move past regret for murdering the Egyptian and then giving up his position in Pharaoh's house. And I just wonder how many what if moments Moses had as he tended his father-in-law's sheep on the backside of a desert for 40 years. It's a lot of quiet, a lot of time to think about what did I do? And then I'm sure David felt regret for using his position of power to commit adultery with Bathsheba and then have her husband killed. Deep regret, we know about it because Psalm 51 where he actually turns and repents. We'll talk about that in a minute. And then moving to the New Testament, I'm sure the Apostle Paul, yes, the man who wrote the majority of the New Testament felt regret for having Christians imprisoned and executed even for their faith before he had his road to Damascus experience and met Jesus. And I'm sure, right, the famous one, Peter

had great regret when he denied Jesus three times. Something you need to understand. And I want you to understand it today when you leave deep in your soul, is that the meta theme, the grand story of this entire book, the Bible, is God's people making poor decisions and terrible mistakes and doing their own thing and then they're having to live in the consequences of those decisions that they made. And then, guess what? God's steadfast love and kindness and forgiveness welcomes them home and reaches back to them and then there's the eventual restoration of the things that were broken by their decision. That's the entire theme of this book. Over and over and over again, we see God's reaching for his people and the beautiful news for us today, and I want us to catch this, is that the redemptive story that runs through Scripture doesn't stop with you and me. It doesn't stop with your mistakes. You are not the exception to God's grace. You're not that important. You're not the exception to his grace. His mercy didn't run out when it came to you in your story. Do you know that? Doesn't run out. So the first thing we need to do to overcome regret

and to move past regret is to remember that you are in good company. It's why we are here right now. God is always writing a redemptive story and he's not finished with your story yet. The second thing we, you can give that a hand clap. I'm grateful for it. So remember, and then the second thing we do is we repent. I said I'd come back to that. Repent where needed. Now, repent is a Bible word and it can be a little intimidating for some of us and so I want us to talk about it for a second. Repentance, all right, is not just feeling sorry for your sin. It's not just feeling bad for what you did. That's regret. But repentance is acknowledging where you messed up. It's turning away from the thing that you're doing and it's turning toward God. It's a change of your heart and direction that moves you from regret, and you see it all throughout scripture, into transformation, transformation. The Apostle Paul talks about it when he's writing to the church in Corinth. 2 Corinthians 7.10 he says this. For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation, and now say those words out loud,

without regret. No regrets. Whereas worldly grief produces death. So godly sorrow, that heaviness that you feel, produces a turning, right, a repentance, a turning toward salvation without regrets. God wants you to live, church, with no regrets. And that doesn't mean that you don't make mistakes. It means that once you've repented, you no longer have to live in regret. But worldly sorrow produces death, meaning there's no future. You just stay stuck. See, regret will be a prison, but repentance is a pathway. Regret is a prison, wants you to stay, the enemy wants you to stay stuck in regret. But God says, listen, repentance is a pathway. It moves you forward. God's plan for moving you forward. God doesn't want you to stay stuck in your past, no matter what you've done. See, we think acknowledging our sin before God will bring shame. But it's the opposite. It actually frees us to move forward. And I want us to look in contrast really quick between what it means to regret and what it means to repent. And I want us to see the difference, okay?

So when we regret, when we simply regret, what it's doing is we're just looking backwards. Have you ever tried to look forward and look backwards at the same time? It doesn't work out well, right? Regret looks backward, but repentance turns forward. It turns forward. Regret feels sorrow. You feel bad. You just feel bad for what you did, but repentance changes direction. You're just not wallowing in what you did. You're actually saying, I'm turning direction. Regret produces shame. You sit and wallow in shame. Repentance produces transformation. Regret focuses on the failure, but repentance focuses on God in the story he is writing for you. And regret is emotional. We get all up in our feelings. I blew it, I made a mistake, I messed up. God can never do anything for me. No, but repentance is directional. When we understand, no, when I repent, guess what, I'm actually turning my direction and I'm moving, I'm going. See, regret says, I wish I wouldn't have done that, but repentance says, by God's grace, I'm not staying here. I'm not staying here, by God's grace.

Repentance is this word. It's an invitation. It's an invitation to God to enter into your failures. And when we do that, things change. And this is what I want us to make note of, too, is that repentance isn't a one-time thing. Repentance wasn't just the day that you came to know Jesus, the leader and forgiver of your life, and you said, God, forgive me of my sins. I repent for what I've done wrong and I'm turning in the direction of you. No, no, no, guess what, repentance is ongoing. Amen, for all my Christians here. It's ongoing, it's daily, it's weekly. Even this week, there was moments where I was like, God, forgive me. I repent, I turn from that. I'm sorry I gave into that again. You know what I'm doing in those moments? Is I'm inviting God into the story. And I'm saying, I'm not gonna focus on my failure. I'm actually gonna turn direction. And some of us, we have to understand this, too, that God is so patient with us that we blow it and we turn. And then we blow it and then we turn. And then we blow it and we turn. And his ever-loving kindness and grace are there every day. His mercies are new every morning for you. So we remember, right, and then what's the second thing?

We repent. And the third thing is this, we release what has been forgiven. Because when we repent, we are forgiven for what we have done. And then what we have to learn how to do, how do we move past regrets? Then we release what has already been forgiven. See, I mentioned the Apostle Paul earlier, how he was a man of God. He was a man of God. I mentioned the Apostle Paul earlier, how he persecuted, all right, let's just, come on, let's just think about this. The Apostle Paul, he persecuted Christians. He imprisoned them. He had some of them killed all before he came to Christ. And if anyone, anyone would have known about regret, it was Paul. How do you even get over such a massive failure? Well, he tells us in Philippians chapter three, he tells us this. And I love that, here's the deal. You have to understand the context. This is who we're talking about, Paul, the man who did all of these bad, bad things. This is what he tells us. He says, no, dear brothers, I am still not all I should be,

but I am bringing all my energies to bear on this one thing, forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead. I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which God is calling us up to heaven because of what Christ Jesus did for us. Forgetting the past, Paul says, and looking forward to what lies ahead. Sounds easy enough, right? But I want us to notice something. Paul is writing this years after finding Christ, which means this, he is still having to learn to forget. Still having to learn to forget? As I studied this passage this week, I looked up this word forgetting in the original language, and it means this. We're gonna put it up on the screen and I am not even gonna try and pronounce that, all right? It's six syllables and if I do, I'm gonna need an additional Mother's Day gift. But the word forget, forgetting what is behind, he said. Forget, what does that word mean, to forget? It means this, to neglect, to no longer care for. To neglect, to no longer care for. Now, I know that this word, neglect, is usually used in a negative manner, right? If you neglect a child, it is not good. But that very meaning of neglect

is exactly why this definition is so powerful. Because Paul is saying this, I am neglecting my past. I'm no longer focusing on it. I'm no longer being occupied with my mistakes. I'm refusing to give ongoing attention to it. Paul is not saying, I have no memory of my past. God isn't asking you to have no memory of your past. Because how do you remove from your memory such a dark past like Paul's or maybe your dark past? You don't. And we know that Paul remembered because he talks about it all the time. All throughout his letters, he's talking about persecuting Christians and his old identity. But in this verse, he is saying, I am bringing, what did he say? All my energies. All my energies to bear on this one thing, neglecting what is behind. It's kind of like this plant here. If I keep tending to this plant, I keep watering this plant. I don't have water, I would have made a mess up here. I keep watering this plant. I keep giving this plant miracle grow plant food, all right? I keep pumping it up. I keep going, okay. And then I put this plant in the sunlight. I put it where it needs to be.

Well, what's gonna happen? It's going to flourish and grow. But what happens if I neglect this plant? What happens? It's gonna shrivel up. It won't keep blooming. And this is what I know. Some of us in here, we keep watering our shame. We keep focusing on our old conversations. We keep reliving our past failures. We keep attending to, making sure, taking care of, putting it in the sunlight, all of our guilt. Some of us are still nourishing what God is trying to heal. We keep ruminating and we keep revisiting and we keep replaying and we keep rehearsing and we keep rewatering the past, right? Some of you think you're, it actually makes you feel better that you keep wallowing in it. Stop with the if onlys or why did I or I wish I had. Sometimes it is going to take all of your energies. That's what Paul said, right? I put all of my energies to neglect my past. Some of you, all of your energy is going to the past. And God's saying, no, I need you to put all of your energies to neglect the past. Quit feeding it, quit ruminating on it, quit focusing on it. Paul is saying, I've stopped looking at the old life.

I've stopped paying attention, giving it all of my attention. And then what does he say next? He says, we read it a minute ago, but we're gonna revisit it. I look forward to what lies ahead. I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which God is calling us up to heaven because of what Christ Jesus did for us. He stops putting his energy into the past. Instead, he is looking forward and he's straining to reach the end of his race and receive the prize because of what Jesus did. So the fourth thing that we do, we remember, we repent, we release. And the fourth thing we do is this, we refocus. See, because repentance means we refocus from what we did to what he did. From what the mistake that we made, the decision that he made to walk to a cross to carry your sins. Stop looking at what you did and start focusing on what he did. paid the ultimate price for you, not so you could sit and tend to your failures, but so that you could walk in the redemptive story, the redemption story that God has for you. And some of you, the biggest thing you're gonna learn today is that quit putting all of your energies

into tending what God meant for you to neglect. This is the good news. This is the good news. This is the gospel message that we no longer have to tend our failures, but we get to focus on what He did. Listen, I know you wish you could go back and make things different. You'd just do things different. I know that there's baggage from your past. I know that there's things that you just wish you wouldn't have done, but I need you to hear today, Jesus is still writing your redemption story. It's what He does. It's what this entire book is all about. When you read it, you're constantly just blown away at God's goodness, when people can blow it so bad, but then God writes a different story. See, redemption is this. God is taking what was broken and lost and guilty and bound, and then He purchased it for freedom and purpose and restoration. God is not done with your story. He is still working. He has plans. He has good plans for you. And so this is what I want us to do, and it's always dangerous to do this at this point,

all right, because I'm gonna have you stand to your feet, but no leaving, please, unless it's an absolute emergency, because this is a holy moment. So stand to your feet. And what we're gonna do in these next few moments, I'm gonna have Sam lead us in just a little bit of that song, Good Plans, because I feel what needs to take place in this moment is that we are, this is our, I'm changing directions. I'm no longer tending to my past, but I'm gonna neglect my past. And how we're gonna start doing that is we're gonna declare over our families, over our lives, over our future, that God has good plans, that God is not done writing your story in your children and in your grandchildren. God has a purpose, He has a plan, and we see it all throughout Scripture that God is not done, He is not finished, but He has good plans. So let's lift up the name of Jesus. ♪ On deserts and gardens He has good plans ♪ ♪ He has good plans for me ♪ ♪ If I know my Father, I know my Father ♪ ♪ He has good plans, He has good plans for me ♪ ♪ He has good plans for me ♪ ♪ So I will take on deserts and gardens ♪ ♪ He has good plans, He has good plans for me ♪

♪ If I know my Father, I know my Father has good plans ♪ ♪ In this space today we're gonna declare ♪ ♪ That His goodness and mercy will be there each day ♪ ♪ Surely Your goodness and mercy will follow after me ♪ ♪ So fear will not find me ♪ ♪ And stop me dwelling in the house of God ♪ ♪ Surely Your goodness and mercy will follow after me ♪ ♪ So fear will not find me ♪ ♪ And stop me dwelling in the house of God ♪ ♪ Surely Your goodness and mercy will follow after me ♪ ♪ So fear will not find me ♪ ♪ And stop me dwelling in the house of God ♪ ♪ Surely Your goodness and mercy will follow after me ♪ ♪ So fear will not find me ♪ ♪ And stop me dwelling in the house of God ♪ ♪ He has good plans, He has good plans for me ♪ ♪ I will take heart, deserts and gardens ♪ ♪ He has good plans, He has good plans for me ♪ ♪ If I know my Father, I know my Father has ♪ ♪ He has good plans, He has good plans for me ♪ ♪ He has good plans for me ♪ ♪ So I will take heart, deserts and gardens ♪ ♪ He has good plans, He has good plans for me ♪ ♪ If I know my Father, I know my Father has good plans ♪ ♪ He has good plans for me ♪ We love you, Jesus. We're grateful. So, fathers, we prepare to leave here today. God, we just say that we are a people who are grateful that you are still writing our redemption story,

that you are not finished. God, thank you. God, that as we remember and we repent, Jesus, that as we take time, Lord God, to refocus and release what you've already forgiven. God, that you are transforming us. We believe it. We walk out of here, God, knowing deep in our soul, Lord God, that no matter what we've done, that you are still working. And we choose today. We choose today to begin to neglect our past, to put all of our energies in to neglecting it and focusing on what you have for us. Your word says that there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. So we do not walk in condemnation, but we walk with hope that you are working and you are not finished. So with every head bowed and every eye closed, if you're here today and you've never made the decision to follow Jesus, to make him the leader and the forgiver of your life, and today you heard a beautiful message about God's deep love for you and how he wants to rewrite the story. Maybe you said, you're like, I totally get it, that I was in the boat and I've gone places I didn't want to go. I feel like I'm 90 feet under.

Well, guess what? God wants to pull you up out of the miry pit today, forgive you of your sins, give you a brand new start, and start rewriting your story. So with every head bowed, eye closed, if that is you today and you want to make that decision, just lift your hand right where you're at. Just say, Jen, today's my day. I want to make Jesus the leader and forgiver of my life. I see those hands, yes. I know at every location there are hands that are going up. So let's pray this prayer all together so that nobody believes that they're praying it alone, that there's a company of people that are praying and believing along with them. So dear Heavenly Father, today I choose to receive Jesus. I turn from my ways, meaning I repent of my sin, and I turn towards God. I receive the free gift of salvation and forgiveness and purpose. I choose to follow Jesus. In Jesus' name we pray, everybody said, amen. Let's give those who prayed that prayer a huge hand clap. What an incredible time together today. And if you prayed that prayer to make Jesus the leader and the forgiver of your life, we want you to know that we are celebrating with you and all of heaven is rejoicing in the decision that you're making today.

And we believe that this is just the beginning of an amazing journey that you're about to go on with Jesus. If you prayed that prayer, that is the best decision that you can ever make to make Jesus a leader and forgiver of your life. You're saying yes to Jesus, greatest decision. And we wanna come alongside you on this journey. One of the first things that you can do is tell someone about the decision that you just made. Let them know about that decision. They wanna celebrate with you. And we'd also love to give you a free resource called New Beginnings. It's a simple 14 day devotional, and it's gonna help you understand the decision that you just made and the first steps in your relationship with Jesus. That's right, and when you sign up for New Beginnings, you'll also receive a few short videos from our pastor that are gonna help you learn practical ways that you can pray and learn how to read the Bible and build strong Christ-centered relationships. And remember that if you ever have any questions, if you need encouragement, or you just wanna connect with someone, you can always reach out to us, send us a DM, call our office, and we would love to take a moment to chat with you. Yeah, that's right. And another great.

The next step is Growth Track, which happens on the first Sunday of every month. And Growth Track is designed specifically for you to discover your purpose, learn more about City First, and find out how God has uniquely created you to make a difference. You can join us online or in person, and you can find out more information on the app or by scanning the QR code right here. That's right, and if there's anything happening in your life that you need prayer for, it would be our honor to pray with you. You can submit a prayer request any time through the app or our website, and our team prays over every request that comes in. But most importantly, what you can do is keep showing up, keep coming back to church, keep leaning into community, and keep growing in your faith, because God has so much more for you ahead. That's right. Well, we love you, City First Church fam. We're so grateful that we get to spend part of our day together. We can't wait to see you again next week, but in the meantime, have an amazing day. We love you. God bless.