My Big Fat Self Talk | Larry Perry

And this is one thing I know about pastoring in today's America, it's the hardest it's ever been. And you're doing what I thought you'd do. Everything's hard now, Larry. Yeah, but every time you talk you don't have Google questioning you. Every time you preach you don't have somebody doing the research to make sure you set it the right way. And everybody knows how to pastor better than you. Because everybody's an expert at church, especially if you've been here a little while, how it used to be and how it's supposed to be, and what it used to be and what it's supposed to be may not be what God wants today. And sometimes we get married to the past because that's where God touched us, and we forget that the past is a stepping stone to where He wants to take you. You see, it's a rotten thing to be camped at the Red Sea that parted miraculously and missed the promise land. And sometimes we're guilty of that in the church because we don't know how to move beyond the blessing for more blessing. Because if you camp out in yesterday's blessing you're going to miss tomorrow's blessing. So you receive yesterday's blessing knowing that there's more to come because we serve a God who wants to abundantly bless you. I believe that with all my heart. So today I'm going to talk to you about, so I was telling, I was talking to Pastor Ryan, he was telling me what he was going to talk about. You're a big fat mouth series next week. So I changed, I stole something from him, don't tell him. I'm going to talk to you today about your big fat self talk. Anybody ever talk to yourself? A little bit, probably way too much. When I was growing up they said, if you talk to yourself you're going crazy. That's wrong and right. It depends on what you say into yourself. Amen. So I need to tell you a little bit about myself. I grew up in a military home, I changed 11 schools with the time I was in the seventh grade. I was backward, I was bashful, I was in a meridial, I couldn't spell, I couldn't read, so they always called me out for the dumb people class, which put me in a position. I identify with this message an awful lot because I thought I was nothing. I thought I'd never do anything.

I thought I'd never accomplish anything. I was just going to be and be okay. And then God showed up. Here's the other thing I want you to understand about my life. I never drank, I never had back. Well, I did sit my dad's beer once or twice, but don't tell him. I never smoked. My dad smoked quite a bit, but I had never smoked. I've only had a meritor relationship with one woman, that's my wife. I've never been addicted to pornography. Some people say, they called me in school the choir boy, but I want to tell you something. Larry still needed a savior. You see, I'm a testament to the saving grace of God that's able to keep you. And sometimes we're guilty of saying, well, I wish I had a testimony like that. And they've had all kinds of trouble and anxiety and misfits in their life. And we think that's a treasure, but I'm going to tell you, living wholly before God is a treasure that brings glory and honor to him. You don't have to serve sin today. Amen? So I'm going to talk to you today about Gideon. And we don't like the Old Testament in the modern world because God said, kill everybody. theological equation of God is love. And that's because we're not looking at Scripture as a whole. We take snapshots and we try to make an a judgment on that instead of looking at the whole picture. So when you realize the scripture from Genesis to Revelation is about the revelation of a God who wants to save his image, his humanity, that he created from the dust of the ground. And he breathed life into it. Think about that for a moment. That means when God created Adam to breathe breath into his lungs and create a living creature, he had to kiss him. His breath brought life. Well, you know the next chapter happens and sin enters the picture because of what disobedience? So the story of all of scripture is the story of God redeeming mankind and creating a new

heaven and a new earth for our habitation. Somebody say thank the Lord. So you don't need, you don't know you need a Savior unless you're a sinner. If you don't know you're a Savior, what's the purpose of Jesus on the cross? If you don't know God is holy, there's no need for a cross. And that is why God does what he does in the Old Testament to prove to his people that he is holy and he does not like sin and what sin has done to humanity. And when you look at the cultures of the Old Testament who brutalized women, who sacrificed babies in fires and were brutal toward one another, it wasn't an eye for an eye. It was, you steal my chicken, I'm going to take your whole family out. And God is trying to rectify and teach the people that he is holy and the revelation of God produces, should be a reverence for God. For the reverence of God, this proverb says this, the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom. So when you understand the purpose of Scripture is to reveal to us a holy God. The purpose of Scripture is to see that there is a way out of the bondage of sin because the Old Testament sacrifices teaches us that without the shedding of blood there is no remission of sin. Every sacrifice in the Old Testament pointed to the cross. It was by faith, Abraham was saved and it's by faith you're going to be saved. Well how was Abraham saved then if it was because he was looking toward the cross. In the Old Testament, faith looking forward saved them. In the New Testament, it's faith looking back to the cross, the hinge pinch of history that saves us. Glory be to the Lord Jesus Christ. I didn't mean to get into all that, but somebody in the room needed it, maybe. You know sometimes we make a mistake in church that the message is just for me. Can I remind you, the message may be for your person next to you today. You may know what I'm going to say today, but the person next to you needs it more than you do. We believe God will leave the 99 for the one. So I'm confident that this message is for one person in this room. And for some of you it's going to be a reminder to clean up your head because we can all be in a bad place thinking wrong things. Amen. Shall we pray? Lord I love you. I thank you for Transformation Church. there in the midst of their loss. I pray that they'll come back energized

knowing that life counts for your kingdom. Bless this service and my words today in Jesus name, amen. And I want to talk to you about Judges 6 and 7 chapters and you can read them all later, okay? This is one thing I want you to know. When God puts his hand on something, small is never insignificant. When God puts his hand on your life, it's never insignificant. You may feel like you're just this or you're just that or you're just waiting on tables, you're just doing this, you're just going to school, you're just taking x-rays, you're just an electrician or whatever, but I'm going to tell you when God puts his hand on your life, everything you do is significant. To God be the glory, amen? So the thing I want to stress today is let God's purpose be the final word in your life. And that's the story of Gideon. In Judges 6, 15 it says, "But Lord," Gideon replied, "how can I rescue Israel? My clan is the weakest in the whole tribe of Menasseh and I'm the least of my entire family." You see, when we meet Gideon in Judges 6, Israel is in trouble. The Midianites have devastated the land. God's people are hiding. Gideon isn't standing in the battlefield with a sword in his hand. He's hiding in a winepress, stressing we. He doesn't look like a warrior, he doesn't sound like a warrior, and he certainly doesn't think like a warrior, but God sees something in Gideon that Gideon cannot see in himself. And I think that's somebody in this room. God sees something in you. Anybody ever been chosen to work on a team, you know a baseball team, a soccer team, or anybody have been chosen? Anybody know what it is not to be chosen? No, don't answer that. Yeah, but listen. God chose me to be on his team. And God wants you on his team. Is that not the coolest thing in the world? That God says, "I'll take you." Eight billion people on the globe and he says, "I'll take you. I'll take you. I'll take you." That's a special place in my book. And God has put you in a book. Amen? You see, I believe there's a word for you today. Your history tells you what God has done. Your faith tells you what God can still do. And when the angel of the Lord finds him, God calls him something that Gideon certainly doesn't feel, act, or resemble. Gideon's inner conversation is, conversation is, "Lord is with you, mighty warrior." And then he lists the limitations. His circumstances becomes

louder than his calling. The battle begins before Gideon faces Gideon. The battle is happening right here. I don't know if I can do that. I'm not smart enough. I can't imagine. No, there's no way God could use me to do that. You ever had that battle? Yeah. Gideon basically says, "You got the wrong guy. You got the wrong guy. See what I see." My perspective can turn a challenge into identity. He says, "My clan is the weakest and Manasseh, and I'm the least of my father's house." What I say, in other words, I'm not the one. I'm from the wrong family. I'm from the wrong clan. I'm from the wrong guy. I don't have enough. I'm not strong enough. I'm not important enough. And yet God looked at the man who saw his limitations and said, "Your thoughts don't matter." My plan does. My word does. A couple weeks ago I was at a place and just listening to them. Thirty-five years ago the guy sold everything he had. He was 44 years old and he says, "I lived hard for the devil for 44 years and the next years of my life. Some 35 now. I'm gonna live it all for God." Sold everything he had. They didn't have food, someone showed with the truck. They didn't have a mortgage payment. Someone did not write the check in church to give them the mortgage. And then they paid the whole mortgage off. And it's just miracle after miracle after miracle after miracle. And I thought to myself, most of the Christians that I know, most of the pastors I know will not live like that because we live by the calculator. We got to have it all figured out before we'd say go. And the same is true with Gideon. He's there, Midianites. We're hiding everywhere from them because they're stealing everything from us. I can't figure out how I'm going to be able to do this, God. The calculator works too well in our head

because I believe the go from God is louder and knows that the provisions are on the other side of go. See what we want him to do is provide and then we go. What he says is go into all the world and the provision you'll find. He may say, go to your neighbor. I don't know if I could do that. I don't know if I had the right words. The problem is you got to go before the words come. You can do it. God says, I see something in you that you don't see in yourself. The Lord is with you, mighty warrior. That's what God does. God always has a history of taking unlikely people in unlikely places and doing unlikely things through them. I just need to tell the choir that's not when I need you to come back, okay? Later on I'll say that again because God doesn't need a majority. He's God. Amen? You see, God needs somebody who will say, "Yes, here in my Lord, send me." So today I wanna preach to somebody, somebody who has been talking yourself out of what God is calling you to do. Sometimes the greatest obstacle between where you are and where God wants you to be is not the enemy around us, it's the voice inside of us. Change the conversation.

Gideon had an enemy in Midian, but Gideon also had an enemy in his own self-talk. And before God could use Gideon to deliver Israel, he had to deliver Gideon from the way Gideon saw himself. I wanna tell you about Gideon, the least of his clan. The man God called to deliver Israel because your history may tell you where you've been, but it doesn't have the limit to tell you where God wants to take you. Glory to God. Huh? And the God who did it before is still the God, God enough to do it again. Where is your self-talk taking you? Have you been saying to yourself, I can't, never happened. What's God really saying? Which voice you rehearse in your head? My big fat self-talk judges. Israel fails. The prophet comes and calls out their sin and the angel comes to bring out a new day, a path to victory. Did you hear that? For Gideon, he's in the wine press and who shows up? I'll tell you a little secret, an angel. Say it with me, who shows up? I want you to remember that 'cause that's very important. Who shows up?

Oh. Judges six, let's read it. And the angel Lord came and sat beneath the great tree at Ophra and he belonged to Josh, the clan of Ebizir and Gideon the son of Josh was stressing wheat at the bottom of the wine press, hiding grain from the Midianites. And the angel Lord appeared to him and said, "Mighty hero, the Lord is with you." Sir Gideon replied, "If the Lord is with us, "why has all this happened to us?" Where all the miracles are ancestors told us about? Didn't they say the Lord brought us up out of Egypt? But now the Lord has abandoned us and handed us over to the Midianites? Then the Lord turned to him and said, "Go with the strength you have "and rescue Israel from the Midianites. "I am sending you." But the Lord Gideon replied, "How can I rescue Israel? "My clan is the weakest, the whole tribe of Manasseh, "and I am the least of my entire family." And the Lord attended him, "I will be with you." one man." Oh my goodness, don't let yourself talk, become your theology to live by. Your thought matters. There's a conversation going on in every one of us. You talk to yourself all day long, and sometimes you say things out loud, and most of the times you say them silently.

In some of the most powerful words you will ever hear are the words you say to yourself. In Proverbs 23.7 it says this, "For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he." So is he. The Hebrew idea behind thinketh, I know that's a King James word, but the idea behind it is this, this carries the idea of calculating, reckoning, considering. You're living by what you've done, what you've seen, what people are telling you. What you repeatedly think about begins to shape how you live. I never thought I would go to college. I never thought I would. I was the most bashful thing in the world. I didn't say two words in high school. God, do you want me to do what? You want me to preach? I can barely talk in front of people. Isn't that weird what God will call you to do if you'll get over yourself? It means your thoughts have influence. That's why Paul says this in 2 Corinthians 10-5, "We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ." Do you see that? You hear what he's saying? Capture our thoughts, and if they don't measure up to who Christ is and what God has said, we cast them away. We put them back to the dust. In other words, when I say to myself, "You dummy Larry," that's a bad thought. That's not a thought from God. That's a thought from the flesh. That's a thought of my own mentality because the Scripture says, "I have the mind of Christ." The Scripture says that he created me in his image. The Scripture says that I possess wisdom because I fear the Lord. This boy is not a dummy.

Anybody understand that? How that works in your head? You cast those thoughts based on what he's saying. Nobody loves me. What do you mean nobody loves you? The ruler of the universe, the guy who's spoken all of the existence, died for you. You have to cast that thought down. You have to get rid of that out of your thing because your thoughts become the reality if you never challenge them with God's truth. Gideon was living and hiding. Listen to what it says in verse, Gideon's son of Joshua's stressing wheat at the bottom of the wine press to hide the grain from the minionites. Threshing wheat to hide. Think about that. He's stressing wheat in a wine press. That wasn't normal. When you have wrong thoughts, you start living abnormally. You threshed wheat in the open so the wind can blow the chaff away and now you're trying to work twice as hard to keep it in hiding from the enemy. See Gideon wasn't concerned about doing it the normal way. He was concerned about survival. He's hiding. And here's the question. Was that hiding wisdom or fear? When fear dominates your life, you're in trouble. The Bible says this, perfect love, cast out fear, oh, glory to God, huh? And we all do it, don't we? My wife's a little late for work, oh no, she's in Austin. Oh no, something's happened. Oh no, what'd she do, what'd she do?

You ever played that game? You guys aren't human? Just checking. I'm telling you, we all do that. What do you got to do? Get back to truth, get back to truth. Some would say, I'm just being careful, I'm just being realistic, I'm just protecting myself, I'm not ready, maybe someday, but sometimes we call wisdom really is fear dressed up in reasonable language. Gideon is living in hiding and God shows up. You see, God sees what you can't see. And the angel Lord appeared unto him and said, mighty hero, the angel Lord is with you. Wait a minute, mighty hero? That doesn't sound like Gideon. He's stretching wheat and hiding. He's afraid of the Midianites and God is calling him a mighty hero, a mighty warrior. Don't you just love God? He sees what you can't see about yourself. Live up to God's potential, not what everybody else is saying. God knew, think about it, God knew what was in Samuel. You know, the little boy who heard the voice of God, that prophet who would anoint kings. Before Samuel knew what was in himself. God knew what was in David when David was still watching sheep. God knew what was in Peter, James and John, and Matthew, and the rest of the disciples. God knew what was in Paul, do you think the church even saw what was in Paul?

No way, they were afraid of him, but God had a different plan. Amen. People see your past. People see your mistakes. People see your limitations. You may see your weakness, but God sees what his grace can do with a surrendered life. Glory to God. It's not the ultimate, ultimately, about what others say about you. It's not ultimately about what you say about yourself. It is about what God says about you. Place your life in his hands and watch what God can do. Amen. God's word was a declaration of what Gideon would become. God calls Gideon a mighty hero, mighty warrior. This doesn't manufactured. It just wasn't manufactured in Gideon's self-esteem. No, God did it. This wasn't Gideon trying to create a better image of himself. This wasn't a motivational speaker telling him to believe in himself. This was a declaration of what God was going to do through him. Have you spent time alone with God enough to hear him? What he wants to do with your life. God is calling Gideon according to his purpose, not Gideon's present condition. And somebody needs to hear this. Your present condition does not determine your God-given future.

Thank you, Jesus. You may see weakness. God sees potential. You may see failure, but God sees redemption. You may see limitation, but God sees opportunity. And may we know. God hasn't called us to live in wine presses. God sees a warrior in you. I believe it with all my heart. So Gideon's response-- think about it. Gideon's response to this angel showing up is right. Why? Sounds like some believers died now. Why? If God is really with us, why is this bad stuff happening? Why don't we see miracles? Why don't we see more gifts of the Spirit? Why? Why? Why? How many of you know the problem is not God? I don't think the problem is leadership, either. God said, if my people will humble themselves, then why? Pray! I'll heal the land. Aren't you glad to be a part of his kingdom? Aren't you glad to be my people? His people, huh? Amen. We're always trying to find someone to blame.

Can I tell you? The most important thing you're going to do is hear from heaven. Hear from heaven. Judges 6, 13-- if the Lord is with us, why was all this happened? Gideon has this question. Where are the miracles? Where is God? Can I ask you a question? Who's in front of him? I mean, Gideon is standing there asking, where's God? And who's in front of him? Is that not funny? He's asking where God is and God, the ancient Lord is right in front of him? He made a promise to you. I'll never leave you nor forsake you. You may not be able to feel him, but it doesn't. Things may not be going good, but it doesn't mean he's not there. I mean, Paul found himself in prison several times, beaten in stone several times, didn't mean that God wasn't there. Don't you dare try to equate your goodness and your greatness in God's economy with nothing bad ever happened, because bad things happen to good people. All you have to do is look through Scripture and you see that. We think that somehow I come to faith that he's excused me from all the bad things that are happening. But the truth of the matter is it just gives you strength to survive. It's okay to have a little trouble. Just press into no God, amen? Someone said, "All that trouble, I stop praying."

Shame on you. That's not a time to stop praying. That's a time to turn up the heat. Turn up the fire. Amen? Yeah, I wasn't supposed to say that. Thank you. Now the Lord has abandoned us, Gideon said, and the hand is over to the midnight. Gideon was interpreting his circumstances as evidence that God had abandoned him. And sometimes we do the same thing. We allow what is going on through to tell us what God is doing. But your circumstances are not always accurate in interpreting the God's presence. You see, Israel was suffering, but God didn't abandon them. In fact, God was standing in front of Gideon. The answer to Gideon's question, where is God? He's right here. He's right here. Ready to deliver, and God says, "Go." God says, "Go." And Genesis 6, "Go with the strength you have, and rescue Israel from the man I am sending you." I love this. God didn't say, Gideon, wait until you feel strong. He says, "Go. Go with the strength you have. Rescue Israel. I'm sending you."

God wasn't asking Gideon to have it all figured out. God was asking him to move in obedience. And here's the question, who are you sent to rescue? Who is waiting on the other side of your obedience? Who needs your testimony? Who needs your leadership? Who needs your faith? Who needs you to say, yes to God? And then Gideon's self-talk keeps in. How can I rescue you? My claim's the weakest. I'm the whole tribe of men. I'm the least of all the entire things. You ever been there? I haven't done that a lot. My family is important. I'm not a guy. I'm not the guy. Move on, you're God. Where are you doing? God, I'm not enough. The problem was no longer just what was happening around Gideon, the problem was what Gideon was saying to himself, clean my thoughts, Lord, clean my thoughts. Sometimes we make judgments that are very faulty because we don't have all the information. Because we don't have God's perspective. We make judgments about ourselves. We make judgment about other believers. We make judgment.

All kinds of things. Can I tell you? I hope in somehow, some way you pray, God clean my thoughts up. Wash me with your blood, Lord, in my head. Amen? You see, the problem was no longer just what was happening around Gideon. The problem was going on up here. My big, fat self-talk. Because sometimes the enemy doesn't have to defeat you. He just has to convince you you can't win. Sometimes the enemy doesn't have to stop you. He just needs to keep you talking yourself out of what God is calling you to do. You see, self-talk can become a prison. Gideon had been hiding in a wine press. But there was another prison, the prison in his mind. You can leave the wine press physically and still live in it mentally. You can walk out of the room and still be trapped by what you believe about yourself. You can have opportunity standing in front of you and still say, I can't. I'm not ready. I'm not qualified. I'm too old. I'm too young. Can I remind you, David, was probably Joshua was probably 80 years old when he took on the promised land.

I'm gonna tell you there's a place for you in God's economy. Don't you allow the enemy to say one thing or another? I've failed too many times, I can't. Somebody else can do it better. You can talk yourself into staying locked inside your own limitations. And here's the line, I want somebody to remember, your self-talk can become the prison that keeps you from your potential. Simply don't let your self-talk become the prison. God never intended you to live in, amen? And God answers Gideon's self-talk. I will be with you. Oh thank you Lord, he's with us. Pull me to God, we don't sit here alone. Matter of fact, 'cause we gather together, we get an extra dose of his presence. Do you understand that? He said, "I'll never leave here nor forsake you "through the wherever you go out there." And then when you gather together, what? You get, "I'll be there." Extra dose of his presence. I love the presence of God. Amen? I will be with you, notice what God doesn't say. He doesn't give Gideon a long exfolational, why Gideon is actually stronger than he thinks. He doesn't give him a personal assessment. He doesn't say Gideon, you're actually a natural born leader.

He, God gives him something better. I will be with you. (audience applauding) Glory to God. Because the answer to Gideon's weakness wasn't more confidence in Gideon, it was more confidence in God. And that's the difference. This isn't believe in yourself. This is believe in God who is with you. Go, go, go. Amen? God uses, unlikely means, and unlikely men, I qualify you. I qualify. Listen, when I got saved, I had long hair, and was a product of my environment, and a super saints in my church, had this look about them when it came to me. And then when God called me into ministry, you got to be kidding me. I can see it all over the face. God, and I had one super saint who loved me, enough to see it. Can I tell you, love sees things others miss. When you get to judges seven, God reduces Gideon's army, not 32,000, not 10,000, but to 300. And when God gives Gideon an unusual strategy of trumpets, jars, and torches, and somehow God gives Israel the victory,

he can take the little and make it much. Think about how unlikely the whole thing was. An unlikely man, the least of his clan, and an unlikely place, hiding in a wine place, and an unlikely army, only 300 men, an unlikely strategy, trumpets, jars, and torches, unlikely victory, and God did what Gideon could never have done by himself, and that's the message, what looks unlikely to you, and maybe exactly what God intends to use. (audience applauding) Maybe exactly what he intends to use. Think about that. Don't cheat yourself out of what God wants to do through your hands, through your life, through your heart. You see, the truth is Gideon could have never done it without God. Today I want to challenge this church. Don't spend the next chapter talking to yourself about what God wants to do through you. Don't let your history become your museum. This is a great church, but the future is yet to come. And it's better tomorrow than it's ever been in the past. 'Cause that's the way God works. Let your history become a testimony, and then God who was faithful in the past is still faithful today. The God who answers prayers then can answer prayers now. The God who saved people then can save people now. The God who built his church is interested in you.

The God who used ordinary people then is using ordinary people now. And the God who took the lease of the men in the tribe can do great things. Because maybe you feel like Gideon. Maybe you're looking at yourself and you're saying I'm the least, I'm not enough, I'm not qualified, I'm too many mistakes. My family isn't what it should be, my church isn't big, I mean we could go on and on and on. What God says, I'll be with you and that's the challenge, it changes everything. So don't let yourself talk, have the final word, let God's word be the final word. Standard, standard. You might say I'm the least God says mighty warrior. You might say I can't, God says I'll be with you. You might say you're too small and God says watch what I can do when I put my hands on you. Here am I Lord, send me. Don't spend the next chapter talking yourself out of what God wants to do through you. Can't God's purpose be the final word and victory will happen. Thank you so much for tuning in today. We hope you enjoyed it and if you did, make sure you subscribe. Also if something spoke to you in a special way, share it with a friend because you never know how it could transform someone's life. If you're interested in checking out our service times, make sure you go to our website at transformTLH.com and we hope to see you at TC on a Sunday. Thanks so much and have a great day. [BLANK_AUDIO]