Mail Call Podcast Episode #3: Dating Non-Christians || Victory Church

What's up, Pando family? Great to see you today. My name is Stephen Hathaway. Welcome to Mail Call, where we read the letters that you guys have been sending in. I'm here with my good friend, Jason. Jason, how are you? Now, I say good friend, I've known you for like three months, four months, but we're good friends. It's all good, man. That's right. You just came on Victory Staff, not too long ago, been at the church for a long while, but you do something that's probably one of my favorite things here at Victory. Share with everybody what you do. You're not talking about singing. No, I'm not a singer. I'm not a singer. I help to lead small groups, our discipleship vehicle, helping people get connected in community, No greater job. I mean, you could argue yours, but I would argue mine at the same time. But yeah, it's honestly a joy to connect people. I think you're spot on with that. I feel like community and having good friends changes everything, which is why I love this kind of platform that we have to be able to create new community with our friends that are connecting with us. But you also have a really cool aspect of some ministry that you've done in the past that led you to even being like, I'd love to be a part of what's happening at Pando. For sure, man. The older I get, the more I realize that nothing happens by accident. And after I came to faith in the Lord as a young adult, I spent the first 10 years of my life visiting prisons.

Little did I know that a few years later that I would marry a woman whose family is affected by, they many, many of them have spent a lot of time away. And then couple that with probably the past seven years, my family and I have been a part of a really cool ministry that's fighting generational incarceration. And so we get to work with families from eight to 18. And so, yeah, that's really my heart, man. One of my life verses, I guess, is kind of the rich and the poor have this in common. The Lord is the maker of them all. And I just love the Imago Dei. I love connecting with people from all walks of life, man. And so, yeah, that's my story and I'm sticking to it. My guys, Pando, did you hear like that hard? This is exactly why we wanted him to be a part, not just of this video, but with some other content that we're wanting to make for you guys in the future as well. Speaking of like content we're making, hopefully within the next week or so, you guys are going to be seeing some special or actually comedy specials that we recorded just for you. So it's going to be coming your way real soon. Keep an eye out on the Victory Church page on Pando. That's going to be coming your way. That's one gift that we want to send to you, but you have been sending us gifts as well. Somebody sent us a Christmas card. Look at this. Isn't this great? That's really cool. I absolutely love this. I love being able to read the story that was in there. We're going to be praying for some exciting things that are on the corner for you. That's really cool. Plus, somebody has a hand-drawn piece of art that they made of Jesus. Is this not incredible? We're going to find a way to zoom in on that so you guys can have a chance to see it as well. This is from Jeffrey. Really cool, man. Incredibly gifted and talented.

And I love how you're finding ways to use your creative elements right now where you're at. That's awesome. Yeah, really cool. Plus, what Mail Call is all about is reading your mail and responding to questions and thoughts, things that you send our way. We have been getting, like the mail is just continuing to grow and grow. So we probably might even cover more letters in the future or maybe even do this more often. But what I love is not just when people say hello, which means a lot because they'll say, here's some of my favorite worship songs we've been having to do. Victory House Worship has been really blessing a lot of people. And you sing with Victory House Worship. Yeah. Yeah, not at all. No, he doesn't. That is not my gift. You don't want me to do that. Wouldn't that be great? I think I would love to have that gift. But let's see, we have a letter from Samuel. Samuel has a great question. Plus, he just said thank you for the content that you guys are providing. It really, really is a blessing to us. But here's a question that he has. I would like to ask you to help me understand or point to someone to explain to me. First Corinthians chapter seven, verses 12 through 16. I've been studying these verses, but I would like someone to help me get a better understanding of them. I'm currently dating someone out there in the free world. She's not a Christian. I'm doing my part as a believer and son of God, encouraging her, talking to her about everything that that I know. But I'm trying to figure out what some next steps should be. So what a good question. I always feel like we can tell how much somebody is learning by the questions that they ask.

Because if you're not reading the Bible at all, you don't have any questions about it. But if you're jumping in there and pouring over the passages. questions are going to arise. The disciples are bringing questions to Jesus all the time. So this is such a good question. We're gonna jump right into it. So 1 Corinthians 7, verses 12 through 16. We're not gonna read the entire aspect of it. You guys will have a chance to read some of it later. I'm gonna be reading some parts through the English Standard Version. Sorry to all my King James Only friends out there. So to the rest I say, and I'm saying this, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever and she consents to live with him, well, he should not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is an unbeliever and he consents to live with her, well, she should not divorce him either because the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. So there was a question that the people who lived in the city of Corinth had for Paul, which is like, let's say that I'm married and still being 25 years next month, isn't that great? So let's say that my wife is a horrible heathen. Okay, maybe I should switch these roles. I'm the horrible heathen, it's me. She's the saint, we all know she's the saint.

And I'm the one that's not following the Lord at all. So she gives her life to Christ, all right? So none of us were following the Lord when we got married, but now she's following Jesus. He had an amazing salvation experience. But I'm like, hey, good for you, but I'm not going to church, I'm not going on Sunday, I'm not going to a small group, I'm not reading my Bible. You do you, boo, but I don't want anything to do with that. And people had questions of, what do I do in this kind of scenario? What do you feel like Paul's encouragement was in this passage? Yeah, man, that's a great question. It's a tremendous opportunity. Paul is saying, hey, you never know the impact that your belief will have on somebody. You never have any idea the impact that your life will have on somebody. In very real time, I got a message a couple days ago, somebody I haven't seen or heard from in 15 years, and they're married with kids now, and they're like, hey, we're thinking about something for the holiday season. And when I thought about this, I immediately thought about you and your wife. And I was like, wow, I didn't know that we meant that much. And Paul is saying here, hey, husbands, even if she's unbelieving, you have the potential to impact her

in a way that you can't imagine. Hey, wives, your witness means more than you can probably ever truly fathom. And so, and if she's sticking with you, too. Yeah, for real. Yeah, yeah, like, that's huge. And so, I don't know, man. Did you get a different blink on it? No, I feel like that's exactly what Paul's encouragement was, that if your spouse is not following the Lord, that you could have a big impact on their life. You could lead them to Jesus by staying with them. And that's, I feel like he goes on, even in a whole other kind of perspective. In verse, we're gonna jump down to verse 15. But if the unbelieving partner separates, well, let it be so. In such cases, the brother or sister is not enslaved or bound to them. God has called you to peace. For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? So, I feel like Paul says, but look, let's say that you have a spouse that, if you came to the Lord, does not wanna stay with you, that they're actually offended that you want to tithe,

or you're going to church and they're like, I want you to stay at home. You got these projects you should be working on. Or a Sabbath, you're taking the day to dedicate it to Jesus? Not in this household. There could be a big conflict of perspectives. And if they're like, if you are gonna walk with Jesus, then you can't walk with me. Then it seems like Paul's saying, if that's the case and they wanna leave you, let them leave. Let them go. And you're not bound to be married to them. If they want to divorce you, that's fine. And so, that seems to me kind of what Paul was hinting towards. Did you have any other thoughts on that? No, man. That's spot on. It's interesting to me. You're celebrating 25 years. I'm inching towards 20. We're in year 19. And my kids asked me recently, I got three teenage boys, and they're starting to get to that season of life. And I said, you know what? The only thing that your mother and I have in common is that we both love Jesus.

Everything else, we're as different as two human beings could be. And so for us, that's the thing that we cling hold to. That's the thing that has saved us and encouraged us and helped us weather the ups and downs and the ebbs and flows of life. That is the constant thing. Everything else, music, comedy, interest, all extremely different. But again, I just love Paul saying you never know. You just never know what your faith, what your trust, what your belief, how that could impact that unbelieving person. And if it doesn't, okay, you've done what I've asked you to do, not bound by anything, let them go. Yeah. Yeah, man. I think Peter even talked about this a little bit as well. I wish I could reference the exact passage. So I'm gonna. What you thinking? My old mentor would say, you squating scripture. You're not quoting, you're squating. So I'm gonna quote a scripture of where Paul is talking to an unbelieving spouse. He said, hey, if you have a believer, or another spouse who's not a believer, you could actually win them to the Lord without ever saying a word about Jesus, just by the way that you love them.

By the way you love and care and serve them, you could actually point them in everything you do to Jesus where they would say, there's been such a change in your life. I want in my life what God is doing in yours. And so I feel like Paul hinted towards, I mean, really didn't just hint, encouraged us in this direction, so did Peter, which now I wanna get to something that Sam wrote, and I want us to try to encourage him, right? This is gonna be maybe a little challenging for you, Sam, if you have a chance to listen to this, but you put something in your letter that I want you to prayerfully consider. Don't listen to us, take this to the Lord, but in reading your letter, you had mentioned that the person that you're dating through correspondence is currently not a follower of Jesus, and you're praying for, and doing your best to encourage, and point them to the Lord. That, to me, is incredible. But I think that when you're dating somebody that's not a believer, there is some danger that comes along with that, just even based upon what you said, because the main thing that keeps you and your wife together, the biggest thing that you have in common is your love for Jesus. And if there's a couple that doesn't have that, that can lean towards some difficult times in their future.

Do you have any thoughts about that? Absolutely. No, man, that's the only constant. So many other things are fickle and change. And I mean, it's the most important decision outside of following Jesus, the person that you commit your life to is the next most important decision that you'll ever make. And my hope, even for my own children and for anybody that I love and care for, is that they think about long-term, not just immediate. Think about, I don't know, man, it just concerns me when they don't take into consideration how critical faith is. And I mean, it's hugely impactful who we connect our lives to. And without that faith component, I mean, you're bound to fail, I hate to say it. Man, I heard somebody say this once, another Pastor Craig Rochelle, that the most important decision that you will ever make outside of following Jesus is gonna be who your spouse is. It's that important of a decision. And the thought of joining myself to somebody that is not wholly in love with Jesus would be really concerning, at least if it was my son. I wanna encourage, you say I'm like one of my own sons or somebody that was like in my own men's group. And I know that this is maybe a little challenging,

but bro, it's because we love you and want what's best for not just your situation. Trust me, you're not the only person who's ever been in this. That's one of the reasons why multiple people in scriptures addressed it, because that's a big tendency that we have, because we want to be loved and we want to be connected and we want to be in community. And not that we shouldn't have unbelieving friends, I mean, either. I mean, Paul said, you can't be out of the world completely. You have to, in order to be salt and light, you have to be where salt is needed and where there is darkness. So it's not like we don't want anybody like to cut off any single person that's a friend that's following Jesus, especially if they're like a good friend that encourages you. When it comes. that next level of friendship, like dating and relationship and the potential for marriage, there are some things that you might want to take to the Lord and say, would the Lord want me to be in this kind of relationship? That's something for all of us to prayerfully think about, because I don't think that while people can coach and encourage us in ways, it's ultimately up to us the decision that we need to make. And I want to say again, Sam, that letter was brilliant because I could tell that you're wrestling with the scriptures and you're actually reading your Bible. That's awesome. Two big thumbs up for you. And we got one more letter. Yep. Got one more. I love it. It's from Orlando, who's in Florida. So you

gotta love that. That's perfect. Could be like a nickname. It's just really cool. I love Orlando saying how much he enjoys seeing our content, especially the worship video. He specifically shouts out, no name like it. Again, I'm not a singer. I'm not going to do Victory House worship any injustice. But he said, let the singers know they have a gift and then continue on. Plan to see you guys soon. Might bring some special guests with me to Victory Church. So God is definitely moving there. Until then, take care and God bless. Orlando, this is awesome. We are so grateful that we get to share in ministry with you. It's just so special to get these types of notes too, man. Yeah. Super special. It really is. We wanted to read that because not just Orlando, but a couple other people wrote and said, hey, I'm going to be getting out soon. I want to come to Victory. Now, if that's you and maybe you could be traveling, maybe you're already in the Atlanta area, you've got to come up and say hello to us at one of our services. If you do, we're at our Norcross campus for online campus, where we're always at. We're in the city of Norcross. You can even let people know at each one of our locations. We're at Midtown and Hamilton Mill and North Cop, all that stuff's on our website. But we have something called New Here that if it's your first time there, you show up, you say, hi, it's my first time here. I've been watching online and they will give you a gift. They'll make it so easy. But if you swing by Norcross, that's where I'm at every single weekend. You have to ask for me. I would love to be able to meet some of you in person, give you a gift, tell you thanks for coming out. That would change my entire weekend. So for those of you who are going to be swinging by Atlanta, please make sure that you have a chance to do that. Thanks for watching with us today. Thank you for joining in along with us, Jason. Hey, thanks for having me. Appreciate it. And we'll get you some more content real soon, friends.