Know Your Freedom

So great to be with all of you. Today is day 14 of our 21 Days of Prayer and Jesus is teaching in Luke 18 to pray and not give up. We are a praying church. One of the things we've been praying for is our prison ministry. And I want to let you know we launched another campus this week. Amen. This one we launched down in Buena Vista. It's the minimal facility. They had 140 I'm going to get this right. They had 143 of 152 inmates that showed up for the service. And as the gospel was proclaimed, there were 105 guys that stood into their feet to receive Jesus as a person. So that is an answer to prayer. We're continuing to pray and final prayer quest for you today is on September 13th is our plan to move back into our facility. Amen. Which Lord willing means we have two more weeks in here before we go back. You're going to be blown away. It looks entirely different. It doesn't smell bad. It looks good. It's it's going to be special. And God's doing a great thing. They poured the stage yesterday. We put God's Word literally in it. So the Word of God's always been our foundation. It's literally poured into the foundation of our new building. So that's kind of cool. And with that, let's continue our worship today as we go before the Lord and get ready to hear his living and active word. Would you pray with me? Our Father in heaven, we give you praise, glory, and honor for who you are. What a privilege it is to gather in your house with your people to sing praises to you. With brothers and sisters in Christ who love you, who want you and want to hear from you. Lord, what a privilege it is to seek you in prayer. Thank you for letting us be a praying church who trusts you to do the work. May we always have our hearts and minds set upon you. And Lord, we thank you for your living and active word because we as a people believe, every time this Word is faithfully and accurately proclaimed, you are speaking. So our prayer this morning is, speak, Lord, for we are ready to hear. And so now for all who have gathered who desire to hear the Lord Jesus Christ, speak directly to you who will believe what he tells you and who will by faith put into practice what he shows you, will you agree with me. Very loudly this morning by saying the word, amen, amen. We're in a series called No Mercy where we've been talking about killing sin in your life before it kills you because even after you come to Christ, you still have a sin nature with you. So the first week we talked about know your enemy. We talked about the fact that you need to know that you have the devil, the world in your sinful self, but that your sinful self still tracks with you and how you can defeat that. Then we talked about how you need to know your identity of who God says you are because when you're in new creation, old things have passed away. Behold, all things have been made

new. You've been crucified with Christ. It's no longer you who lived, but Christ who lives in you. So he said, you have to know your identity, not your behavior and what you see, but who you are in Christ. Then we talked about know your master. Every day you wake up. Who are you going to present yourself to? You're going to present yourself to the Lord. Are you going to present yourself to your sinful practices? And then we talked about how you have to know your weakness that all of us have a blind spot. And while the law is good at showing the holiness of God and what your sin is, it can do nothing to correct you. And how important it is to know that we need to remain under Jesus and not try to get the law to change what only Jesus can change in our lives. Then we talked about how you have to know your power. In Romans 8 we said, the same Holy Spirit that raised Jesus Christ from the dead abides in you. So you don't have to continue to sin. You have power accessible to you through the Holy Spirit, the third person of the Trinity, who dwells inside each one of you who is a believer. And then last week we talked about how you need to know your exit. Temptation is bound to come, but no temptation is seized. You accept what is common to man and God will always provide a way out. We took a look at the story of Joseph and what he did and the situation that he was in to choose the way out and how that's important. Today's message is how you can know your freedom, how you can truly live free in Christ. And I want to confess, before I start this message, out of all the messages I have prepped for this series, this I thought would be the easiest one for me to prep and preach. And it's been the most convicting of any of them. Because what I'm going to talk about today is the way that you can know your freedom is through forgiveness. When you truly realize how much you've been forgiven and you're truly able to extend that forgiveness to others, that's when you can truly live free. And I've told you during this series that one of the most severe sins in the church has gossiped and I stand by that, but I would say a rival comparison would be unforgiveness in the hearts of believers. And so as you're hearing this message today, there'll be four points to the message. I'm not so concerned that you remember all four points of the message, but I'm very concerned that you allow the Holy Spirit to speak through His Word this morning, to speak directly to your hearts, to examine yourself and say, "Is there anything in me that the Lord wants?" And here's why. Because if you can understand forgiveness, you can truly live free.

And if you don't understand forgiveness, no matter how hard you try, you're always gonna live in bondage. And so to tackle this topic today, we're gonna be in Matthew chapter 18. Matthew chapter 18 starting in verse 21. So I encourage you to get your copy of the scriptures out and follow along with me this morning. And as you're turning there, I'll set up Matthew chapter 18. It begins where Jesus is talking about how important children are and that we in the kingdom of heaven need to be like them. We need to be dependent. And then he talked about stumbling blocks, that stumbling blocks happen, but woe to you that lay them. It's not good that you do that. Then he talked about how important it is for to go after those that are lost. And then he begins to talk about discipline and prayer. And really, it's restoration of the believer, where when someone sins against you, here's what you're called to do. And you need to hear this context 'cause it's gonna make sense of our passage this morning. You're called to go show them their sin. And if they don't listen, then you're to bring another believer with you to show them their sin.

And then if they don't listen, then you tell it to the church so the elders can highlight their sin. And the whole purpose of this process is to bring restoration in the life of a sitting believer. And if they don't respond to that, then they can't be part of the fellowship because the only way to be part of a fellowship is to have ongoing forgiveness in relationship with one another. And that's what the disciples have been listening to this whole time. And Peter, who always speaks first, has been listening to all of this, thinking about people that are probably wronged him, thinking about how many times he's been wronged and thinking about me. And every time that I'm wrong, I need to go tell that person privately what's going on and then trust the Lord in it. Like that's gonna take a lot of my time. So notice how he begins his question, verse 21. Then Peter came and he said to him, "Lord, how often shall I forgive? "How often shall my brother sin against me?" And I forgive him. Up to seven times? Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you up to seven times, "but up to 70 times seven."

Here's principle number one today, if you want to live free. Refuse to keep score. Refuse to keep score. I mean, here's Peter's question. The Jewish rabbis of the day, scholars will say, most of them taught you needed to forgive somebody, at least up to three times. At least for the same wrong. If they wronged you once, okay, forgive them. If they wrong you again, forgive them. They wrong you again, forgive them. After about three times, you kind of realize there's a cyclical pattern here. You can kind of be done with them. So Peter is asking, Lord, when people sin against me, what would you expect? And Peter knows Jesus that he's pretty extreme in his views. He's like, I know three is probably the number, but what would you say? Like up to seven? And here's what Peter's really asking. At what point in time can I stop giving ongoing forgiveness? That's the question. At what point in time can I just say enough already? At what point in time can I be like, I am done with this person. They have wronged me and I'm not forgiving them anymore.

At what point in time? Like seven times and then we do that? And Jesus said, no, I say to you up to 70 times seven. Now, Jesus isn't calculating math. He's not saying go 490. And on the 49 first time, you're done. That's not what he's saying. Because if you understand anything about forgiveness, when you forgive somebody, the way the Lord forgives, he chooses never to bring it up again. So when the Lord forgives, you start with a clean slate. So when you forgive somebody, it's Jesus' way of saying it's ongoing forever. You never, ever stop forgiving. Now, think about it theologically. When Jesus Christ died on the cross and rose from the dead and you repented him by faith believed in him, how many of your sins were forgiven? For how long? All your sins were forgiven forever. It's ongoing, consistent forgiveness. And if you belong to Jesus, then that's how it needs to be translated in what you give to others, amen? So refuse to keep score. And I can tell you right now, in case you're wondering, how is this gonna play out in my life? Today's message is so applicable,

you'll have opportunity to do this before nightfall tonight. I mean, I just promise you in these relationships. And it's interesting because for many of us, we do it differently. Some of us like to have a scorecard. And we kind of keep track of what they did versus what I did and what they did versus what I did. And if theirs gets worse than ours, then we kind of know they're kind of not being very good and they need to change their way in order to hang out with me. Some of us don't keep a scorecard, but we have this like internal instant replay where we love to replay the offense over and over. And we like to replay it from different angles or if somebody's hurt us more than once, we kind of have a compilation DVD in our head that we're watching of all the things just so that we can get to the same conclusion. They don't deserve my forgiveness. Some of us have what we call the permanent file. The permanent file is better than a computer because it remembers everything. And if that person, if you've ever met somebody with a permanent file, here's what they'll say to you if you do something wrong. Well, I just want you to know, 23 years ago, when we were standing by that tree, you did this and that really, I mean, you've always, that's a permanent file. That's somebody that hasn't let it go. When we say God forgets when he forgives, he doesn't truly forget. He's omniscient. He knows all things.

He chooses never to bring it up again. And when you forgive somebody and you say, "I forgive you," and you tell God, "I forgive them," you're choosing to not bring it up anymore. This is not only difficult. This is impossible without Jesus Christ being at the center of your life. Because what you'll find is when it comes to forgiving others, here's what your flesh will tend to say. They don't deserve it. If they did, they wouldn't need to be forgiven. Everything you need to do to forgive somebody is because they, quote, "don't deserve it." Think about the gospel. How much forgiveness did you deserve? None of it. And yet you got all of it. And so Peter is asking Jesus, "At what point can I stop forgiving?" I mean, if you could just let me know that, that'll help because then I can keep track and I can keep records. And if I have been heard enough, I will just be done with them and I won't forgive them any longer. And Jesus says, "Hey, there is no end to this." I mean, you know in your car, you have the odometer. The odometer keeps racking up miles and it keeps racking up miles and it keeps racking up miles. And it stays the set. You can't rewind it. I mean, I guess you could illegally, but you can't rewind it. It just stays the same. It shows you how far it's gone. And Peter's asking, "How many miles do I need to travel until I'm done?" And Jesus is telling him, "Get rid of your odometer."

If you forgive, it resets at zero. And then you start again and that's how it works. And isn't it interesting that everything in Scripture teaches this? In Luke chapter 17, verses 3 and 4, Jesus taught the same thing. He said, "Be on guard. If your brother sins, rebuke him. There is nothing wrong when someone sins against you in love to tell them the truth that they sinned against you." Matter of fact, that's a great thing to do. Take them, and if he repents, forgive him. And notice what he says in verse 4, "And if he sins against you seven times a day and returns to you seven times saying, 'I repent, forgive him.'" Jesus is saying, "There's always ongoing forgiveness. That's who I am. And if you belong to me, that's who I want you to be." Even in the passage of 1 Corinthians chapter 13, the passage on love, spoken at weddings, many different times, nestled between spiritual gifts and prophecy and tongues, he's telling them how they can live out their lives, and he says, "Love is the most important thing." He says, "If I speak with the tongue of men and of angels but I do not have love, I become a noisy gong or a clanging symbol." He says, "If I have the gift of prophecy and know all mysteries with all knowledge and I have all faith as to move mountains but do not have love, I'm nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor and if I surrender my body to be burned and do not have love, it profits me nothing." Then he says, "What love is. Love is patient and kind. It is not jealous. It does not brag. It is not arrogant. It does not act unbecomingly.

It does not seek its own. It's not provoked." And notice this one. It does not take into account a wrong suffered. Doesn't take it into account. Why? Because here's the truth of unforgiveness, as I've said many times through this pulpit. Having unforgiveness in your heart is drinking poison, hoping the other person dies. It's to your advantage to forgive someone else. It's to your advantage to put them into God's hands. It's for your freedom that you give to live free by not holding on to that offense, thinking they need to get theirs and how come they're not dealing with this and all the different things that take time, effort, and energy away from you living free. That's actually what keeps you in bondage. Even in Ephesians 4, be kind to one another, tender, hearted, forgiving one another just as God in Christ forgave you. The centrality of the gospel is forgiveness. If you belong to Jesus, you must extend forgiveness too. With whom? With everybody. For how long? Till you meet Jesus. I mean, that's the teaching here. That's why it's quiet because it's very convicting to all of us. I mean, if you're counting, you haven't released the account. Forgiveness with a limit is unforgiveness. In marriages, thriving families, thriving churches, thriving communities always exhibit ongoing forgiveness. Why? Because there's always going to be a need for you to demonstrate forgiveness in the life

of another. So refuse to keep score. Peter was trying to keep score. Peter wanted to know, what point in time can I be done? you're gonna extend forgiveness because that's who I am and that's what I do. So refuse to keep score. Secondly, do this, revel in your forgiveness. Revel in your forgiveness. Revel in how much you've been forgiven. Jesus went on to say, and is parable, for this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves. And when he begun to settle them, one who owed him 10,000 talents was brought to him. Now, just to give you an idea of the size of a talent, a denarius was one day of work. That's what a denarius was. A talent would be the equivalent of 6,000 days of work. One talent would be the equivalent of 16.4 years of work is what it boils down to. 10,000 talents would be 164,000 years of work that this guy owed, okay? Think about that. Think about what you make in a year and multiply it by 164, that's what he owes. And if he worked for 164,000 years and took every cent of that and gave it to the king, he would pay off his debt.

So he's not gonna live 164,000 years and he's not gonna give every penny to the king. So here's the question, can he ever pay back this debt? No, that's the whole purpose of the parable. Jesus is telling a parable of an insurmountable debt of someone that owes this amount to the king. But since he did not have the means to repay, the Lord commanded him to be sold along with his wife and children and all that he had and repayment to be made. So he said, well, you don't have anything to give right now. So we're gonna sell your wife. We're gonna sell your kids and you're still gonna pay me back everything. Yo, we're just gonna figure out how to take it out of everything else that you have. But notice this, verse 26. So the slave fell to the ground, prostrated himself before him saying, "Have patience with me and I will repay you everything." Now think about this. So the slave falls down the ground and he says, listen, have patience with me, I'll give you everything. If the king has patience with him, can he repay everything? No, never. So he's just trying to buy time. He knows there's no way he can pay it back. He's just begging the king, have mercy on me. I'll pay it back, knowing full well,

but I can't pay it back 'cause there's nothing I can do. And notice what happened. In the Lord of that slave felt compassion, which means he saw a need and was moved to action and released him and forgave him the debt. So instead of saying, you owe me, instead of saying, I'm gonna sell your wife and your kids and all your possessions, he falls prostrate and says, please be patient with me. I promise you, if you're patient with me, I'll pay you everything back, knowing full well, he couldn't pay everything back. And the king has compassion on him and says, you know what, just forget it. It's paid in full, nothing. You don't owe me anything. Now, what is that demonstrative of? Friends, that's the gospel. That's the gospel of Jesus Christ. That's the good news of Jesus Christ that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. And let me make it really personal because if you come to church for any period of time or if you grew up in the church, when the pastor talks about people that are bad, you start thinking about the people out there. You know the bad people I'm talking about. But we forget to look in the mirror and think, no, he's talking about me. But all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.

You're not like a better breed of sinner than those that don't come to church. You understand what I'm saying? Every single one of you has an insurmountable debt. There's nothing you can do. So you're four years old, there's nothing you can do 'cause you have a heredity of sin. And even if you haven't sinned, big, grievous sins that the world would say are sinful, you're still a rebel against the God of the universe. And there's nothing you can do about it. And you can beg, you can grovel, you can promise from now on, I'm gonna be really good. And none of it works because God only takes perfect people. And because of that, God sent his son, Jesus Christ, who fulfilled the law, who as the God man did, everything that was required of him. And before he left the earth was pinned to a cross to pay for the sins of the world and take the full measure of the wrath of God. Three days later, he rose from the dead to validate that he's indeed God's one and only son and has victory over death and invited anybody who had turned from their sin and turned to him that they could have life in his name. Which means this, any sinner anywhere at any time that recognizes they can't get right with God can repent of their sin, turn to God, and he'll not just forgive some of your sin as long as you're good from there on.

He'll not only forgive a little of your sin as long as you promise that you'll tithe, he forgives all of your sin past, present and future because of the faith you have in Jesus Christ forever. That's awesome, that's the gospel. And we need to revel in our forgiveness 'cause if you don't know how much you've been forgiven you can't forgive somebody else. And here's the reality, here's the reality. No matter what anybody else has done to you and I don't wanna minimize that. I don't want to minimize that, but compared to how you've treated the Lord, it pales in comparison. And if you don't revel in how much the Lord has forgiven you and invited you to be part of him and with him for all eternity, you will not have the ability to forgive others. Because forgiveness is an act of the will. It's a choice that you get to make as a believer. And here's the truth. Non-Christians can't do this. If you're not a believer in Jesus Christ, you cannot forgive. You can say you're forgiving, but forgiveness means I'm not holding this onto your account anymore. I'm entrusting you to the Lord. I forgive you. I'm not bringing it up anymore. I'm not going to be bitter or hurtful about this. I'm not going to be resentful. It's yours. You're forgiven. You're free. You can't do that if you don't have the spirit of God living on the inside of your life. Not when it's really painful. Not when it really hurts. You say, well, how do I know? How do I know that I have unforgiveness? If somebody brings up somebody's name and it triggers you on the inside, you have unforgiveness. If you think I'm really hurt by them, I'm really bitter towards them. I'm really resentful towards it. You have unforgiveness in your heart. And you need to revel in your own forgiveness. I mean, think about Psalm 103. In Psalm 103, the Psalmist describes what God does. In verse 10 through 12, he says, "He has not dealt with us according to our sins nor rewarded us according to our iniquities." Praise God. Praise God. God doesn't look at our sin and say, I'll give you what you deserve, because we all deserve hell and judgment. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his loving kindness towards those who fear him. As far as the east is from the west,

so far he has removed our transgressions from us. I mean, God's forgiveness is like, it's gone. It's removed. It's not there. I forgave it all. That's who I am. He's awesome. In Christ, we have redemption and forgiveness according to the riches of God's grace. Think about how he says it in Colossians. In Colossians chapter 2, verses 13 and 14, he spells it out really, really clearly for us as to what the gospel does. Colossians chapter 2, verses 13 and 14, says it like this, "When you were dead in your transgressions and the uncircumcision of your flesh, he made you alive together with him, having forgiven us all of our transgressions. When you were dead, he made you alive and forgave all your sins, having canceled out the certificate of death, consisting of decrees against us, which was hostile to us, and he has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross." Amen? I mean, and God doesn't ever want us to lose sight of everything that he's done. The apostle Paul never lost sight of everything that God had done. Even when he writes to Timothy in his first letter, in 1 Timothy chapter 1, verses 15 and 16, he says it like this, "It is a trustworthy statement deserving full acceptance that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners among whom I am foremost of all." How do Paul see himself as the greatest sinner? When you see yourself as the greatest sinner, it takes the focus off everybody else. When you see yourself as the greatest sinner that God has to work on, it allows you to extend immeasurable grace to others, because no matter what they've done, it's not nearly as bad as who you are. And why does Paul know that he's the greatest sinner? Because the more he's gotten to know the Lord Jesus in his holiness, the more he realizes how short he's come. Yet for this reason, I found mercy so that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might demonstrate his perfect patience as an example for those who would believe in him for eternal life. Friends, revel in your forgiveness, revel in it. Nobody's going to heaven because they did good. There's not one person going to heaven because they've joined the right denomination or the right religion. The only way people ever gain access into heaven is through the God-man Jesus Christ who died for the sins of the world and rose from the dead. Amen? That's it. And if you've repented of your sins and trusted him, I can tell you you're going to have trials in this world. I can tell you you'll probably have some health challenges at some point. You'll, for sure, have relational challenges. You'll probably have financial challenges. There'll be all sorts of trials and things that come.

But here's what I can tell you. As a believer, you've got it better than anybody in the world. All your sin is forgiven. And when you meet Jesus, he's going to present you faultless before the Father with exceedingly great joy. You've got that going for you. Amen? And we need to revel in that because sometimes I think, well, yeah, I'm saved, but my life is so hard. If you're saved, you have ever... will be the greatest moment in the history of your life. And it will just be the beginning to every great thing that is to come. Amen? I mean, it's better than if somebody canceled your mortgage, paid off all your credit card debt, did it all at the same time, and said, "Here's a salary for the rest of your life. You never have to work again." It's better than that. I know some of you don't think that, but it's better than that. I mean, it's the best thing, revel in the forgiveness that God's forgiven you. And in case you wonder, I don't really know that God's forgiven me for much. Here's the beauty of the Holy Spirit. If you were to sit down with the Lord and read the word and say, "Lord, I'm not convinced that I'm as bad as everybody else. Could you show me some sin in my life that's not measuring up?" He would be glad to show you. Right? I mean, and that's the beauty of the gospel. It's the beauty of the Holy Spirit. He's willing to show us the areas He's forgiven us because it makes us realize how awesome He is. He didn't love any of us because we were kind of lovable. He loved us because we were unlovable. He loved us in spite of us, revel in the forgiveness that you've been given. And then number three, do this. Once you've reveled in that, then release your debtor. Release your debtor. Release the person who is sinned against you. Notice what happens with this guy who's been given everything. He was totally set free, and yet notice what happens. But that slave went out and found one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred to near us. So that's a hundred days of work, basically about three months of work, give or take. Maybe he owed him 30 bucks, maybe a couple hundred bucks, something like that. And notice what happens. And he seized him, so he got physical with him, and began to choke him, saying, "Pay back what you owe." It's kind of surreal that you'd be forgiven an insurmountable debt, and go right out and find somebody that owes you some chump change, and seize them, and choke them, and scream at them, and say, "Hey, you owe me." Now notice what happens here. As he's doing that to this guy, this guy pleads with him. So as fellow slave, he's co-equal, it's not a king, this is a fellow slave, fell to the ground, and began to plead with him, saying,

"Have patience with me, and I'll repay you." Where have you heard that before? I mean, that's exactly what he pleaded. Now listen, if he were patient with this slave, could this slave have potentially paid him back? Of course he could have. It's just three months wage. He could have found out a way to come up with a payment plan. He was probably being serious. Just be patient with me. I will pay you back. In other words, you'll get all your money, and the guy probably would have got all his money. But that's not how he responds. Notice what happens. But he was unwilling and went and threw him in prison until he should pay back what was owed. See, this is not a good story. This is a story that if somebody that was paid that was forgiven an insurmountable debt, that went out and choked somebody that could have paid for what he owed, but he didn't have the right heart. He hadn't been changed by what had happened to him. Friends, if you truly understand the gospel, you'll be changed by what Jesus has done in you. And if you have the Holy Spirit in your life, it gives you the ability to forgive others. Because no matter what someone does to you, I'll say it again, is not nearly as grievous as how you treated the Lord Jesus Christ. It's just not. No matter what. And there's heinous things people have done in this world. I get that. But if you truly understand sin, none of it's greater than how you've rebelled against the Lord. And that's what the story is trying to point out. So release your debtor, right? Now, notice this, in Romans chapter 12 verse 17, the Apostle Paul, as he's writing under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, says this, "Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. If possible, as far as it depends upon you, be at peace with all men." And he goes on to say this, "Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God. For it is written, vengeance is mine. I will repay," says the Lord. "But if your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he's thirsty, give him a drink. For in doing so, you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." Friends, only a believer can do that, right? Somebody that mistreats you, somebody that's wrong, somebody that's your enemy, they're hungry, give them something to eat. They're thirsty, give them something to drink. You do it. You provide for their needs, for who? For people that are evil, for people that are mean, for people that are hurtful, for people that are wronged you. That's what we're called to do as believers in Christ. Even in the Lord's prayer, when Jesus is teaching his disciples to pray, what does he teach? Forgive us our debts, as we also forgive our debtors, or forgive us our trespasses, we also forgive those who

trespass against us, or forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us. Here's what we're praying. Lord, forgive me in the same way with the same measure that you watch me forgive other people. That's what we're praying, right? We don't think that. We're like, forgive me, but I'm not gonna forgive them. No, forgive me in the same way that you watch me forgive others. That's how Jesus taught his disciples to pray. That's what we're called to do. We're called to forgive those. In Luke chapter six, I mean, we read the same things. Luke chapter six, verses 27 and 28. But I say to you who hear, that's those of us who are listening. Listen to this work that you can do. If you wanna look up Luke six, 27 and 28 and do a Bible study this week, you'll keep yourself busy for a long time. But I say to you who hear, love your enemies. Love is not a feeling. Love is a choice, right? Love is choosing to love them. Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you. That person hates me, do good to them. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who mistreat you. I mean, that's enough there for us to last a lifetime and chew on, right? Because that's not our flesh. If you mistreat me, if you curse me, if you hate me,

and if you're my enemy, that's not how I would naturally respond. My natural response would not be loving you, choosing to do good to you, blessing you and praying for you. And that's exactly what Jesus tells us to do. And the more you do that, the more freedom you'll experience. 'Cause you're taking the grace that God's invested in your life and you're extending it to somebody else. And you've been released, amen? And listen to this. I mean, some of us live like we're the collection agency for the people and relationships that we're with. You know, unforgiveness, continually demanding repayment. You know, and we use all sorts of different things to do it. I mean, and you think about the servant, 'cause some of you would say, well, I've never gotten physically violent with anybody. I've never choked 'em, that's not me. But I think there's different ways that you can choke people. I think you can choke 'em with a cold shoulder. Like I'm not gonna talk to you anymore. I think you can withhold affection. I think you can have repeated accusation or public embarrassment or slander or shame. Anything that you're doing to keep them at bay and to show that you're right is choking them out, right? I mean, it's kinda like this. I mean, there was this study done a number of years ago with monkeys where they let monkey to put food inside of a jar and the monkey could put their hand in the jar

or they could pull their hand out of the jar. But when they grabbed the food, once they had a fist, they couldn't pull their hand out. And the monkeys had a hard time 'cause they wanted the food and they didn't realize they could just release and pull out their hand. So their hand got stuck in the jar 'cause they're trying to pull out the food. Unforgiveness is just like that. When you're making a fist, it's hard to release somebody. And releasing is what it means. That's what it means to forgive. It's to literally untie. It's to let go of them. When I was a youth pastor a number of years ago, one of the things that we would have, at least once a year, was called a lock-in. Have you ever heard of these things? I think the devil himself designed them because you stay up all night and you're, you know, caffeine's running through everybody and it's emotional and so all these things. And about three or four in the morning, you're trying to separate the guys and the girls and all this kind of stuff. And so what we would do is we would have competitions. And we were with all these other churches one time doing this lock-in and we decided we'd do tug award about three or four in the morning. And I don't know if you know me very well,

but I'm not anymore, but I used to be very competitive. And so I was on our team like we're gonna win. Like that's why we're here, you know? And so we made it to the finals and I'm high five and everybody and I'm coaching and I'm saying this is our thing and we look like we were a bigger team. I'm like, we're gonna win this whole thing. And when we got in this huddle, one of the guys in our team said, "Hey, let's have some fun." On the count of three, let's all just let go of the rope. And my thought was, no, we came this far. We wanna win. He's like, "No, no, no." And everybody started agreeing with him. He goes, "I'll tie the rope around my waist. I'll be the anchor. You guys grab it." But on three, two, one, just let go. I'll make sure the rope's off of me. And sure enough, that's what we agreed on. So that's what we did. And so we got up front like we're, you know, we're serious about this whole thing. And you saw that little red flag getting right to the middle and the judges holding it, making sure it's going. And then he got it there and he was like, "Okay, on three, two, one." And our team did this.

And I can still see the faces of everybody on the other team to this day. As they went into an immediate back pedal down on the ground falling over everybody. Now here's the question, who won? The judges said they did. I promise you, they were not the ones who thought they won. We were the ones that were celebrating. We were high-fiving, we were like this. I'm like, that's what it means to forgive. I'm letting go of the offense. I'm not holding on to it anymore. You can have whatever you want. I'm going to be free in my own soul. That's what forgiveness looks like, amen? You want to have a successful family, ongoing forgiveness. You want to have a great church, ongoing forgiveness. That's why unforgiveness always makes its way into the church. Do you know why? Because God cares about relationships. He cares about vertical ones and horizontal ones. And when people offends you in the church, what do you call to do? Forgive them. If you move to a different church, every time you get offended by somebody in a church, there's not enough churches left for you to attend. There's just not. I get it that there's time to change churches. There's different seasons. There's geography moves and all this stuff. But there are some people that anytime anybody would hurt them anywhere, they're going to leave. They're going to blog. They're going to gossip. They're going to talk bad. They're going to do it. And here's what they're saying. I have a lot of unforgiveness in my heart, and I don't know how to extend the grace that's been given to me. That's all they're saying. Because anything that's good and lasting, you extend ongoing forgiveness. And you work it out because you want to have the relationship that's good. And that happens in the church. And people think, well, that's just the people out there, those bad people. No, it's us as Christians. We need to be shown our sins sometimes. We need other people to call us out. We need to say, I'm sorry. We need to say, hey, you send against me,

and that hurt. We need to have that kind of relationship in order to have strength in the community that God wants us to have, amen? I mean, think about Joseph with his brothers. I mean, we talked about Joseph last week, how he escaped Potiphar's wife and lived morally, rather than immorally. And that cost him some more time in prison. But at the end of his life, he gets to meet his brothers. And his brothers are now standing before him, groveling. And it's the fulfillment of the vision God gave him that one day your 11 brothers will bow down to you. He had told him about that decades earlier. Now it's happening before him. They mistreated him. They lied to his dad. They said he was dead. He got sold as a slave. He got put in prison, all these different things. Now he's number two in charge. And now his brothers are standing before him. What's he going to do? I mean, this is the time to lower the boom say, told you, I told you years, you didn't believe me. I bet you believe me now. Bow and get out. That's not what he does. In Genesis chapter 50, starting verse 19, as he meets his brothers, who said, "We're just your servants." But Joseph said to them, "Do not be afraid from I and God's place." He goes, "Don't be afraid of me. I'm not God. You don't need to worry about me. I'm not the one bringing justice here. As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result to preserve many people alive. So therefore, do not be afraid. I will provide for you and your little ones." So he comforted them and spoke kindly to them. What does that show you? That's a man who had ongoing forgiveness in his heart. When he had his opportunity to lower the boom and bring justice and show how they were so wrong. Here's what he said, "What you intended for evil, God used for good." Here's the truth. Even when people hurt you and do evil against you and say all means sorts of things, God's going to use that if you forgive them to grow you. It's part of the curriculum in your life to develop you for what he has next. If God can look at you and say, "I can trust that gal, I can trust that guy with anything," because they're going to extend forgiveness, God can elevate what you do. You can live fully free when you forgive others. So here's the question. How do you know if you're holding accounts? How do you know that you might have some signs that you might be trying to collect? I came up with eight of them that's not an exhaustive list. I'm going to read them to you. As you're hearing these, see if any of these apply. You're going to ask the question, so I'll answer it first. If you're one of eight, you have unforgiveness in your heart. If you just get one of these, you have so unforgiveness. Here's the first one. You repeatedly

replay the offense in your life to fuel your anger. Somebody's hurting you. You're repeatedly playing that thing. When that happened, when that happened, if you have some tape in your life and it's being repeated, you have some unforgiveness in your heart. You secretly enjoy the offender's suffering. You'd never say it out loud, probably, but if you hear through the grapevine that person's not doing well, there might be something in your heart that's like, "Good." You have some unforgiveness. You use silence or distance to punish rather than protect. You get people the cold shoulder like, "I'm not talking to them anymore. We're done. I'm going to sit over there because they sit over there. We're done." Yes, I'm unforgiveness in your heart. You demand that they suffer before you'll show mercy. They need to realize the extent of what they did. Once they do, then maybe I can give them forgiveness, but they haven't had to pay anything. There's no consequence for their action. I'm not forgiving that. How about this one? You rehearse the offense to people who cannot resolve it. That's a gossip. That's when, instead of going to the person, you go to somebody else to tell them what that person did, and they can't do anything about it, and you go tell them about it and you go tell them about it. this one? You recruit others to share your resentment. It's not good enough to go to one person. I'm going to get five together. And in our cadre, I'm going to talk about it. And I'm not going to do it unspiritual. I'll do it very spiritual. And at the end, I'll say, so could you please pray for them? That's a gossip too. That's malice and slander as well, that evil thinking of another. If you have some of that in your heart, you have unforgiveness. How about this one? You take up another person's offense without knowing the facts. That's this. When somebody comes to you and says, "This person hurt me," here's your Christian response. It sounds like you need to go talk to that person now. And because you came to me, I'm going to give you 24 hours to talk to them, or I'm going to go talk to them and tell them you're a gossip. Sounds harsh, but it's true. Because if you're listening to other people tell you something about somebody else, and you take up an offense for them, guess what you are? You're a gossip too. No, I'm just a safe place for people to know. You're a gossip. You need to know this. Biblically, it's true. When people come to you with gossip about other people, you don't have ears for that. You don't listen to that. It's not for you to know. Is anybody hit one yet? Okay. You continue demanding payment after genuine repentance and forgiveness. They've said they're sorry, they're repentant,

they're trying to get better, but you're like, "Yeah, I'm not getting better fast enough for me." They need to prove this, they need to do that. If you have one of eight, here's what I'd ask you to do. Just ask the Holy Spirit of God. As you're praying, as you're reading the word, "Hey, Lord, show me what my next step is." I don't want to do this. And there's really three ways you can do it. One is you immediately forgive them. And that's heart forgiveness. That's an act of your will. That goes before the Lord, Lord, I forgive them. Now, let me tell you something about forgiveness. Forgiveness is not a feeling. If you say, "I don't feel like forgiving them," God would say, "Yeah, I don't care. I didn't feel like getting crucified on the cross either." It's not your feeling. It's that you're doing it. I'm willing to forgive. I'm doing that with my heart. You're surrendering personal vengeance, you're surrendering the cold shoulder, you're surrendering all those things to God, and you remain ready to forgive them. Then I would suggest this. This is where you really need to spend time with the Lord. I can't tell you exactly what your next step looks like. Sometimes you need to go tell that person what they did that was sinful. And you need to know what the sin was. It can't be, "Well, you hurt my feelings when you said you didn't vote for the same person I did." Or you don't like my football team. It's not about them hurting your feelings. What did they do that was sinful? What did they do that was wrong? And you need to tell them, and here's when you need to tell them, you need to tell them privately and in a timely fashion. We tend to do the opposite. We kind of let it be like the built up beach ball underneath the way, "I'm going to keep it down. I'm going to keep it down. I'm going to keep it down." Finally, it comes up weeks or months later in front of a group of people. That's not the way to do it. You go privately to the person. Somebody sends against you. You go privately to them and say, "Hey, when this happened between us, this was the sin you committed. This was the offense. And I'm hurt by that." And you give them the opportunity to respond. And if they respond, then you can verbally forgive them too. I forgive you, right? Because the whole purpose of meeting is not to, "I'm going to show them the whole purpose of meeting is I want to see us restored in relationship," right? And that's what you're called to do. Now, here's the deal. For some of you that have been wounded severely or have been in abusive situations, here's what needs to happen next. Before reconciliation ever happens, there needs to be a long pathway

of fruits and keeping with repentance. So, for instance, if there's been adultery in the relationship, you forgive from your heart when, immediately. You need to tell the other person what you did was wrong. But how do you restore the relationship? It's not when they say, "Well, I'm sorry." I'd kind of like to see maybe a year or two or three of ongoing repentance and taking all the right steps and getting right with the Lord so that the relationship can be restored. I think it's healthy to set boundaries at times. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that. And I'll tell every single person at Brave that you know, God does not call you into abusive relationships. Forgiving somebody else does not mean remaining in their abusive relationship. Do you understand what I'm saying? God doesn't give permission for other people to abuse you. We're called to forgive them, but sometimes boundaries have to be established so we don't keep getting abused. So I'm not trying to say that. I'm saying we need to position our heart so that the Lord ever went to work in their life and they're genuinely repentant and there's signs of that that reconciliation could happen. But that's going to be on the person that offended you. Amen? Does that make sense? But here's what I want you to see. What I want you to see is you need to release your better. I promise you this as your pastor, you don't want to appear before Jesus on judgment Just let it go, he's got it. He said vengeance is mine. I mean, two things God promises us in his word is that he'll wipe every tear from our eye and he'll make every injustice just. That's his job. Your job's not to be God. You don't have to make everything right. He'll wipe every tear from your eye. He'll make everything right. The reason you can trust God with forgiving another person is because God is able to do what is right. And it frees you from having unforgiveness. I mean, I've told the story many times

about Corey Tenboom who was persecuted in a concentration camp where her sister died and then one day she was preaching on the love of Christ and she noticed the guy right out there and one time she saw him in a suit and then the next thing that clicked, she saw him in his military uniform. She recognized he's the guy that abused my sister and me. And afterwards he heard the story and he came up. He said, "You don't know who I am, not realizing she did." And she's like, "I've heard you talk about the love of Christ." And he goes, "I find it hard to believe "he could forgive someone like me. "Could he really forgive me? "I did some really horrible things in the war. "Would you forgive me?" And she was like, "Frozen." This is a man, this is the reason her sister's dead. But then she got to thinking, "Well, forgiveness is an act of the will. "It's not a feeling." And she said, "She prayed." She said, "Lord, if you'll help me, I'll forgive him." And so she began to pray and shakingly her hand raise. She said, "Sir, I forgive you." And so does Jesus. That's what forgiveness looks like. It doesn't make what they did right. It makes who you are free in Christ, amen? And that's what God wants for you.

And so I'm telling you, as you do this, this is not a one-time thing. I mean, I tend to think I'm very good at forgiving people. My wife will tell me that I'm very good at forgiving people, but even as I'm preparing this message, I'm like, "I've got to have a couple of conversations." Do you know what I'm saying? Because things come up, and you don't want things to come up. You want to be clean before the Lord, amen? So release your debtor, just like Joseph did. And how about your king? How about your master? How about the Lord Jesus Christ? What were some of the final words he had to say? After people had abused him, stripped him, beaten him, put a crown of thorns on his head, whipped him till he was nearly bled to death, shamed him, made him carry his own cross, drove nails in his hands and his feet, started shouting at him, you think you're a king, you can't even save yourself, and yet you think you can save the world, and what's he saying at the end of his life? Father, forgive them for they do not know what they're doing. I think they knew exactly what they were doing. They didn't know the scope of what they were doing. They were crucifying the Lord, the very one that was coming to save them, and what was his response? Not, "You'll see someday, coming to get you."

No, Father, forgive them, they don't know what they're doing. If our king can live like that, then he can give you the grace to extend mercy like that, amen? And he's doing it for you, not to you, so that you can live free. And then finally this, if you can release your debtor, then receive the king's warning. Receive the warning of the king, 'cause notice what happens in this story. Verse 31 says, "So when his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were deeply grieved." That's a way to say they were incredulous. They couldn't believe, like how in the world and this guy that just got free, do this, that's so wrong. And they came and reported to their Lord all that had happened. Then summoning him, his Lord said to him, "You wicked slave, I forgave you all that debt "because you pleaded with me. "Should you not have had mercy on your fellow slave "in the same way I had mercy on you?" I mean, this is the picture. Jesus saying to us, "If I forgave you everything, "should you not forgive other people everything?" Right? And his Lord moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he should repay all that was owed him. Well, when's that gonna happen?

It's never gonna happen. I mean, when you read about in the Bible, you're gonna stay there until you pay the last penalty of your, or the last penny of your fine. There's no way to pay it off. There is no purgatory. You don't get to die and go work off your sins. It's insurmountable. That's the whole point. And he was handed over to torturers. And here's what he says, "Heavenly Father will do the same to you "if each of you does not forgive his brothers "from your heart." I mean, it's interesting in the Lord's prayer, as it ends, he says, "For if you forgive others "that are transgressions, "your heavenly Father will also forgive you. "But if you do not forgive others, "then your Father will not forgive your transgressions." See, we're not forgiven because we forgive. We forgive because we've been forgiven. If you're truly born again, if you truly are reveling in the fact that you are saved because of the grace and forgiveness of God, then what are we called to do? To extend the same mercy and grace of God to others. And I promise you, this isn't a message where you say, when's that gonna happen, Pastor Jeff?

When am I gonna have opportunity? I really wanna give this a try. You get the perfect cadre with the people that you've known for 10 years and you're all besties. If you're going to live the way the Lord wants, I promise you there's going to be conflict in any relationship. When you get married, she's perfect. He's perfect. They're about so good. You're going to have conflict. Promise. You have a family. You're going to have conflict. Ongoing forgiveness is the way in which you develop strength in all your relationships. Holding scorecards, keeping accounts, telling people what they need to do for you, what they, that breaks relationship. And here's the truth. I mean, persistent, ongoing, unforgiveness is a warning light. Listen to 1 John 3, 14, and 15. 1 John 3, 14, and 15. Says, "We know that we have passed out of death to life because we love the brethren. He who does not love abides and death." How do you know you're born again? Because you love the church and you love the people in the church and you love your brothers and sisters in Christ. Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him. One of the telltale signs that you've been born again is the way you love other people. There's a change in your heart. You'll love people you wouldn't even have hung out with before. You'll love people that weren't in your click. You'll love people that weren't in your social network. You'll love just because you're in Christ and you know how much God loves them too. And this is such a practical message. I could preach this message any one of the 365 days of the year and it will hit home because this is always a temptation for the believer is to not forgive because you'll hear the enemy say and your flesh will agree they don't deserve forgiveness. They shouldn't have done that. That was a bridge too far. That was too much. They can't ever be forgiven for that. I could never forgive. That's what your flesh will say. That's what the devil will say. And that's what you'd say if you weren't in Christ. But what you will say is they don't deserve my forgiveness, which is exactly why I have to forgive them because I didn't deserve the forgiveness that Jesus Christ gave to me. Amen. And persistent unforgiveness is a warning light. Like when it goes off in your car, there's this warning light that's telling you it's alerting you. There's a problem. If you scored one out of eight, there's a warning light going off on your dash saying, you just need to spend some time with the Lord and let him show you what it is.

And for some of you, it's going to be as simple as saying, Lord, I've just been harboring this and I give it to you. For others, it may start there, but it may need to be a conversation you have. And here's what I encourage. When people sin against you, don't wait three months, don't wait three weeks, don't wait two years, don't wait 25 years. The sooner you can in a timely way, get them alone and say, I love you enough to tell you this, but this was really hurtful to me and see what the Lord does in that relationship, the better off things are going to be, the better off they're going to be. So receive the King's warning. I mean, the warning is this, if you're truly born again, you're going to forgive. And if you find yourself saying, well, I can never forgive, then examine your heart to see if you really know the Lord Jesus Christ. And you really understand the measure of His grace that He poured out for you. Because the Lord wants to take your life and He wants to set you free. And He wants you to live in a new way. And part of the way you kill sin is letting go of unforgiveness. Because here's the thing, you cannot compartmentalize it. If you have unforgiveness towards a person, it will show up in your marriage, it will show up with your family, it will show up at work, it will show up with your friends, it will show up everywhere. So when you have unforgiveness in your life, ask the Lord, Lord, you take it, thank you for your cross. And for some of you that are here today saying, I know I need to be forgiven for some of the things I've done. I have really good news for you today that Jesus Christ's death on the cross paid for all of it. And He rose from the dead and He's willing to give you a fresh start right now. Which is why today, the way we're going to take communion is we're going to hear the song sung over us. And then on each of our campuses, we'll take communion together. But I want to think about a couple things. As you're getting ready to prepare for communion today, as you're hearing the song sung over you, think about all the Lord's forgiven in your life. Number one, think about all the sin He's washed away permanently, done. Think about that. Then think about this. If there's anybody that you need to forgive, ask the Lord to give you the grace to do that. Thank Him for the forgiveness He's given you so that you can extend that to others. And then finally, on this day 14 of 21 Days of Prayer, and I can say this personally because I know who I'm praying for, pray that the person that you're praying for is able to take this supper someday before they get to heaven. It's easy in church to take this for granted that Christ

died for me, that He rose for me, that He shed His blood for me, He gave His life for me. I know that. But the person I'm praying for, they don't know that. Not in the way I do. They may know some facts about the fact that Jesus Christ has paid for all their sins too. So as you're hearing this song about the blood of Jesus sung over you, reflect on those three things. All the Christ is forgiven, all the way you need to forgive, and that person you've been praying for. Would you pray with me? Lord Jesus, we just thank You for the grace that You've given to us. Lord help us to extend forgiveness to others. Because Lord, oftentimes we don't want to, oftentimes our sins says no, they don't deserve it. Oftentimes the enemy lies to us and said they've gone too far. But Lord today remind us that You went far. You came from heaven to earth to pay for all our sins so that we would have our debt paid for so that we in turn can forgive others who hurt us. And Lord, we give You all the praise. We give You all the glory. We give You all the honor for who You are and all You do. Prepare our hearts for this meal. In Jesus' name, Amen.