Jesus Tunes Up Your Relationships

♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ Whoo! Tell the person next to you, say, you're so blessed to be next to me today. I like it, I like it, I like it. If you're new at Vertical, my name is Virg, I'm the pastor here at Vertical Church, it's a pleasure to be with you. Thank you for coming to worship with us. I'm really excited to just get into the word today. Any Christians brought your Bibles to church today? Christians who love God's word, who read God's word, amen, amen. Praise God. You can open up to Colossians 3. We're finishing up our Colossians series today. We'll be in Colossians 3 and in Colossians 4. Little reminder, Colossians was a book that was written by the Apostle Paul to the Colossian church. So the audience receiving the message was a church. And so I want us to understand that. And today as many of us here follow Jesus, we believe in Jesus and we've decided to be a part of the church. And so I want us to receive this message in a way that would really speak to our hearts and bless our hearts. And I wanted to do a little illustration. So this here that I have in my hand, this is a guitar string. And as you can see, a guitar string in and of itself is interesting, but it doesn't do much by itself, right?

I mean, I guess you could use it as a wind thingy. If you're a musician and you don't have much money, you might make a little ring for your sweetie. But honestly, the truth is that a string in and of itself, it's limited. The function of it, it can't really do much like this. But obviously what's needed for a guitar string, it's one very specific thing. It needs to be connected. Everybody say connected. Because when the string is connected, then it can fulfill its purpose. I think ultimately when we think about life, it's important to understand that God wants us to know that we are beautiful and special and cute on our own. But there's something special about being connected. Everybody say connected. And so the interesting thing about a guitar and guitar strings is that not only does a guitar string need to be connected to the guitar, but then there's an interesting factor about guitars and guitar strings. And specifically, it's the fact that a guitar string will not sound right unless it is tuned. This here, it's called a capo. For anybody who plays guitar knows that you can kind of put it on a guitar, kind of change the tune up a little bit. Also, this is also a tuner. So I turn on a tuner so I can tune my guitar and the guitar strings. You know, that little red turns green once I hit the right note

and the right key. So the fifth string, which is an A, it'll tell me it's A. If it's green, it's tuned, right? And so generally a string, the issue is tension. A lot of times you need to tighten the string to get the right tune or you need to loosen it, right? And in life, sometimes we need to be tightened and sometimes we need to be loosened. And so when you tune, because the thing is, each string, like here's one string. Here's one string. It's amazing. Not really. It's just the sound, right? And then if they're not necessarily in key with each other, like it's noise, right? But when you get everything tuned up, I'm doing my job of tuning here. When you get them tuned, you tighten them up. G, okay, G. B, B, E. And you get used to tuning. Ooh, E, low E. All right, so now it seems like I'm... So now here's one string. But here's two. Here's three. All six. Sounds a lot better, right? Sounds a lot better because not only are the strings connected,

but they're tuned up. So then... ♪♪ I'm not going to sing. Not today. But I want to leave you with this. ♪♪ Harmony. Harmony. want to leave you with specifically is, in our lives, we have to understand that we weren't created to be solo. We were created to be connected. But the key in life is who we are tuning our life to. Because when we tune to the right standard, by the way, the right standard tuning is 440 tuning. In Spanish, it's 440, in case anybody understands what standard tuning is. Dominicans know that very good. So 440 tuning is the standard tuning. So if I tune my string to 440 tuning, and I tune all the strings to the same, everything aligns. So here's my premise today. Here's the big idea today of this message that I'm sharing with you today. The big idea is your relationship with Jesus Christ has the potential to positively impact every other relationship in your life. If you tune with him, you can tune with the strings next to you in life.

Title of today's message is Jesus Tunes Up Your Relationships. Let's pray. Lord, I pray that you would speak to our hearts today as we get into your word, as we open our hearts, and as we are receptive to hear from your word. Teach us, Lord. Guide us, Holy Spirit. Help us live lives in a way that not only honors you and pleases you, but guides our relationships in the direction that you want them to go. In Jesus' name I pray, amen. I'm gonna share with you keys for tuning up your relationships from the book of Colossians. And we're gonna start in verse 17, Colossians 3, verse 17. And it says, and whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Story number one. Let Jesus shape everything you do. Say it with me. Let Jesus shape everything you do. This verse that we just read acts like a bridge between theology and daily living. Paul is moving us from believing something doctrinally to activating it relationally in our lives. Christianity is not personal. Christianity is relational.

And so here's the scope of what Paul gives us. He says, whatever you do. Not some things you do, or what you do on Sunday, or what you do when you go to vertical and you're feeling good. No, no, it says everything. Your words, your actions, your tone, your responses, all of it should be for Jesus. Everything you say and do should reflect that Christ is in you, if you're a Christian believer. If you're not, I understand that probably is not the case. Everything that I do, everything that I say, everything that I involve myself with should reflect that Christ is in me. So let me give you the terminology which is very familiar in this church because of the name of our church. Here's the terminology. Horizontal relationships are my relationships with others. Vertical relationship is my relationship with God. And so here's the premise today. My relationship vertically with God has the potential to impact positively every horizontal relationship in my life. The way we live out our relationships with one another should be influenced by the one that we are tuning our life to. When I tune my life to his standard, it helps me tune well and right to the people in my life as well.

It is not enough that we have a relationship with God, it is important for us to be consistent and authentic in our relationships with the people around us. Okay, this is part of God's calling in our lives as Christians. We can come here on Sunday, put on a good show, but then live a whole different life on Monday and not show that continuity of this is who I am, not just this is what I do on one day of the week. And so am I demonstrating in my life that the gospel of Jesus has changed me? Does your life speak? Does your life say something when people meet you, when they hear you, when they see you in action? Does your life somehow point others to the one who's tuning your life? Being Christian is more than calling myself something, it's about living a certain way. And the way I live has a way of speaking for itself. A lot of times actions speak louder than words, right? So here's a line, God's design and desire is that every one of my horizontal relationships would have a vertical focus. So this is so important, this is so important. You and I need to ask ourselves in our relationships and the things that we say and things we do, would Jesus sign this off? Would he sign off on this? This that I'm about to say right now, would he sign off on this?

This that I'm about to do. And so I wanna go into some verses where Paul gets into specific relationships. And I have to keep in mind sincerely and honestly that there's some specific relationships. And I think it's important that we pay attention to it, okay. So let me give you the second point today for keeping keys for tuning up our relationships. Number two is let Jesus transform your home. Okay. Let Jesus transform your home. Because Paul moves from kind of general common in 317. Here in 318 it goes more direct. I will read these four verses. They are quick, simple verses but they are hefty and deep weight-carrying verses. We will go one by one after this. Colossians 3.18, Paul says, wives, submit yourselves to your husbands as it is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything for this pleases the Lord. Fathers or parents, do not embitter your children or they will become discouraged. So let's start with verse 18. Wives. Any wives in the house? Okay. There is some future wives here I know as well. It's good to start learning in advance for what is coming.

Right. So wives. Now you just woot-wooted but here's what it says. Submit yourselves to your husbands. Amen. As it is fitting in the Lord. Today's culture has caused women to not woot-woot for that. Because today's culture is so out of order and misaligned. Now interesting here, why does Paul talk first to the women when it comes to this. A lot of times when he talks to wives and husbands he talks to women. Let me mention this. It is impossible for a husband to lead a wife that doesn't want to be led. Okay. And don't worry guys, we will get to you in a second. But this is a very important fact. The idea is not for a man to have to be woman, you got to submit to me. That's not the idea. Because then we got double issues there. So that's not the idea. The idea is not that a man has to raise his voice or his hand. That is ungodly. The idea is also not for a man to quietly just give up and give in to everything she says and no longer do anything. Unfortunately that's what often happens. There's a disconnection. Now when it comes to submission, God's idea is not that all women

submit to all men all the time. No, it's that one woman will submit to one man, her husband, in a lifelong covenantal relationship. Where there's a beauty and a blessing to it. And submission here means respectful partnership. Not inferiority or superiority. Not silence. But honoring God's design. And there's something beautiful and powerful about that. But because the world is upside down, because this world has a view of marriage as a romantic emotional relationship. Not a covenantal committed relationship. It's confused. And it's twisted. And so women, I'm not submitting to anybody. And that's already the issue. That's already the issue. Now in verse 19 it says husbands. Any husbands in the house? Oh, oh, oh. Husbands. Love your wives. And the two-parter. And do not be harsh with them. Husbands, love your wives. And for a husband to love his wife, it means that she would feel safe, secure, and seen by you. For a wife to truly feel loved by her husband, she needs to feel safe, secure, and seen. Cared for, appreciated.

A lot of times women struggle with submission, and a lot of times men struggle with loving. Often, especially in today's culture, men live in a fantasy world. Whether it's video games, whether it's sports, or whether it's the internet, often men are more connected to a world that's not really existing, that's not real there in their life. More connected to that than they are to the spouse that they married. And so that doesn't bring loving. Sometimes they're so connected to video games and sports and online and porn, and this ideal version of a woman that really doesn't exist, which causes this unrealistic view of what he thinks that his wife is going to be. And so it's a distortion, that's what it is. The enemy distorts God's beautiful order with things that are not of God, they're just worldly and fleshly. And so what does it look like to a husband to love your wife? And I'm going to give you the advice that I got from a very good counselor in my life. You have to become a very good student of your wife. I have to get a picture of my wife. Ph.D. in Ghislaine Sophia Sierra. I'm working towards my doctorate. I'm at a master's right now. Pray for me. This is something that honors and blesses her. Can I just say this? It honors and blesses my kids, even if they don't admit it or say it, because there's nothing that a kid feels more secure in than seeing their parents in love. And so I have to become a student.

Husbands, we have to become the best students of our wives. I'm not saying it's easy. I'm not saying that it's always fun. I'm saying that this is our calling. This is our calling. So we are not to raise our voices. We are not to raise our hands. And here's another thing. In the original language, what it's really alluding here is to bitterness. And the problem is that many men are bitter towards their wives. When, generally speaking, when wives are unhappy, they're vocal about it. Any men in the house can say amen to that? You know if they're not happy with something. But most men, generally speaking, we often are not vocal about it. And so what do we end up doing? We suppress it. We bottle it in. And if we do that often and never communicate about it, then we get bitter. And it's hard to be loving when we're bitter. Is anybody following me? So Paul is giving us some wisdom here for life. And can I say this? So I said at the beginning, right? Wives, it's hard to lead you if you are not submissive. But husbands, it's hard to follow you

if you are not a leader. And if you are not loving. It's hard to follow if you are bitter and if you are harsh. And so don't be harsh and bitter and then say, hey, why aren't you submitting? Okay? The word here reflects sacrificial love, the same love that Christ showed on the cross, which is not harsh, which is not selfish, which is not self-seeking, it's sacrificial. So here's, in other words, just kind of one statement Paul is saying, wives, allow your husbands to lead you. Respectfully and lovingly. Husbands, lead your families well. Lead your home with love. Don't be harsh. Strong men of faith, bless their family. Okay, then it jumps over in verse 20. Children, obey your parents in everything. And the parents said. For this pleases the Lord. These are like one-liners and they're very simple, but man, they're really profound. Children, so children. Any children in the house? Any children in the house? Children in the house. Yes, there's children in the house. Children, obey your parents. Why?

You are under their authority. Now, the heart of this command is obedience. Check it out. And the motivation is not fear of punishment, but rather the joy of pleasing the Lord. The motivation is not, oh, I gotta obey because if not, I'm gonna get punished. No, no, that's not the motivation. The motivation is, I'm gonna obey because it pleases the Lord doing what scripture says I should do. It's going after the heart of the child and the obedience and the willingness to submit and to tune up, tune up with your authority, your parents. I read this this week. Obedience to the parents in the home trains kids for obedience to God. You will rarely or never see children who are disobedient to the parents all of a sudden live these obedient lives to God. And so there is a correlation there. Every yes to our parents becomes practice for saying yes to the Lord. So young people pay attention to this. And remember, it says, it says, this pleases the Lord. This pleases the Lord. But I have to obey? Yes, and by the way, if your parents ask you to do things that are not godly or illegal, you don't obey that.

Are you following me? We're talking about under normal circumstances, your parents are asking you to do things that are right or that are supposed to be done or that are correct or they even correct us as well. Now 21, fathers, which we could understand the parents, kind of like in Spanish, padres, speaking to both, right, parents, do not embitter your children or they will become discouraged. Authority without tenderness breeds rebellion and despair. That's why there's so much, so many young people rebelling and in despair. Harsh discipline can sap the spirit from your kids. And the one thing that you don't want, you don't want your kids to lose heart, especially not in today's culture and generation, because it will lead them to thoughts and ideations that are not good. So we have to, as parents, exercise authority that builds courage in our kids and doesn't crush it. Now, this doesn't mean that we do everything that we let our kids do everything they want to do. No, no, we set boundaries because boundaries and discipline matter, but so do encouragement, affection, and consistent grace. Is anybody with me? It's kind of like really good coaches in sports, like a horrible coach is a coach that screams, yells, demands, and threatens, and that's it.

A good coach, hey, they're gonna correct, they're gonna teach, they can get stern, but they're gonna affirm, they're gonna clap, they're gonna celebrate you, and they're gonna push you to be better. And in children's lives, parents were their first coaches. Discipline without encouragement leaves kids weary and joyless. But discipline that is seasoned with love and affirmation leads to kids who are motivated to take steps in life. And this is important. And for those of you who still have kids who are under your covering, think about this. Be the kind of parent you wish you had if you didn't have them. And if you had great parents, be like them for your kids. Remember, they need grace because you need grace, and so do I. Don't crush their spirit. Lead them with strength and grace. And I'm gonna say this with respect and love. I'm not saying it to anybody here. In fact, this might be for your friends out there. Some kids need to hear the word no. Because some parents today are scared to say no, and you are raising up little monsters who think everybody has to say yes to them. And you need to have good, healthy boundaries and limitations.

It's part of your responsibility, or else you're creating an issue that everybody else is gonna have to deal with. And I don't know about you, but I want people to like my kids. And so if you don't like them, other people won't either. And they're gonna hear no. They're gonna need to hear no. Are you with me? By the way, another point, I'm not called to raise up amazing kids. I'm called up to raise up amazing future husband, future wife, future father, future mother. I don't want them to be kids. So that's a big, that's a big, some people have raised great kids, and they're 45 and they're still kids. I wanna raise up great men and women of God. That's what I wanna raise up, amen? Parents are thermostats, not thermometers. We gotta set the temperature. We gotta set the tone in the home. So is my home marked by love? Is my home marked by respect? Is my home marked by encouragement? Because faith that hasn't reached the home is faith that hasn't gone far enough. A Christ-centered home builds Christ-like hearts. That's what we're aiming for. So again, the premise of today is

I wanna tune up to the standard vertically, God, and my relationship with God, with Jesus, has the potential to impact all of my other relationships in the home, husband, wife, parents, children. Now there's a transition. Paul moves from the home to the workplace. So let me give you this point. Number three, let Jesus guide your work. And in Colossians 3.22, he kinda goes into the work arena. The terminology, obviously, in these times, Colossians 3.22, slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything, and do it not only when their eye is on you and to curry their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. So Paul kind of upholds here the duties of slave and master of which the modern parallel for us in today's society would be the duties maybe of employee, employer, right? I work for and I have a supervisor or boss, right? Just a side note, scripture never advocates slavery, but it recognizes it as an element of ancient society that could have been more beneficial if slaves and masters had treated each other properly. Paul followed Christ's example and used slavery as a motif for spiritual instruction. And what he does is he uses as an example for the believer to the one who is a believer and he's a slave or he's a worker to be a servant of Jesus Christ, seeing the service as an earthly responsibility,

but seeing a connection to the Lord. And so basically what Paul is saying is, hey, if you're a worker, if you have a job, work with integrity. Work with integrity. Not just when your boss is around. You know how they say that when the cat's away, the mice play? Like don't be that person that's amazing when everybody's looking. That's where the word integrity comes in, integrus. Integrity is a whole, an integral number is a whole number. I'm not partial, I'm whole no matter what the situation is or where I am. Work at it with all your heart. Not just when the boss is looking, not just when it benefits you. Because ultimately, who is the big boss? And when is he watching? So what happens is when I begin to work with an attitude of I am not doing this for my boss. I am doing this for the Lord. Check it out. Work becomes worship when it's done for Christ. No matter what I am doing. I am a mechanic. I am mechanic-ing for Jesus. I am in education. I am teaching for Jesus. I am doing this as if unto him.

I am doing whatever I am doing, whatever it is. I am doing it as unto him. And all of a sudden, you can find this throughout scripture where work, the word for work is actually the same word for worship because that's what happens. Work becomes worship when it's done for the Lord. And so now we look at the other angle. Colossians 4 verse 1. Colossians 4 verse 1. Masters, provide your slaves with what is right and fair because you know that you also have a master in heaven. Capital M there. So leaders, employers, those of you who have people under you because you're a supervisor, you're a boss, you're an owner, God cares about how you lead people, how you treat people. And authority is not to be dominion. Authority is to be stewarded. And so if I'm a leader, I understand I'm not the ultimate owner, the ultimate master is God. So the employees under me maybe have to be accountable to me, but I will have to be accountable to God. This is what Paul is saying. And it's the whole concept of, I mean, how many agree like if there's a camera around, you act a little different, right? Like if we told you, hey, here in this room of your job, the cameras are always on and they're recording your audio, right? You're going to be careful. But then when you get out of that room, if you don't feel any cameras are on, then you feel a little more free to do whatever

you want, right? So what if cameras were always on? Would we act different? Would we speak different, right? And the truth is that God's camera is always on. He's always watching. Not so as to catch us, but it's just where can we go? Psalm 139, where can I go that he doesn't see me? And so he sees my heart. He knows my motives. So again, what's the premise today? It's my relationship with Jesus who I want to tune my life to has the potential to positively impact every single relationship in my life. In my life. Now Paul shifts a little bit in verse 2 of Colossians 4, verse 2. He says, devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ for which I am in chains. Pray that I may proclaim it clearly as I should. Number four, here it is, last one. Let Jesus shape your words. It's all about proclaiming, about speaking, about praying, about what comes out of your mouth. Paul gives us a few relational instructions here. He says devote yourself to prayer. Can anybody agree with me that prayer is powerful? It's powerful but it's not real until you actually do it.

And I'm glad that during our rooted season some people came to prayer service for the first time. Every Saturday from 9 to 10 a.m. we have a prayer service here. Every Saturday. Every Wednesday from 6 to 7 a.m. we have a prayer service. It's just a power hour of prayer. You can come in and go right out and leave to work. I promise you won't regret spending time with the Lord. You don't need to come to church to pray. You can pray from home. You should pray at home. You should pray consistently throughout your day. There is something beautiful about praying together. Be devoted to prayer. Also be watchful and thankful. Gratitude. This is also in the words. Pray for opportunities, Paul says. Here's another one. Verse 5. Colossians 4.5. Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders. Make the most of every opportunity. Pause. Who is Paul writing to? The Colossian church. Believers. And he's saying be wise in the way you act toward outsiders. Unbelievers.

People who don't walk with Jesus. People who don't have their faith in Jesus yet. Be wise. Why? Because people are watching us. Because people are listening to how we speak. They're observing how we react, how we respond, how we treat each other. And you and I, by the way we live, are a living testimony. Sometimes the closest thing to a Bible that people will read is our lives. And so we need to be aware of this. Paul says be wise. Make the most of every opportunity. We're supposed to live in such a way that we bring credibility to the gospel. Not cause people to doubt, like, wait, he's a Christian? Right? And verse 6. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. Again, Paul is talking about... how we speak. Our speech as Christian believers should be pleasant, should be kind, should be fitting, should be sensitive, should be purposeful, should be truthful, should be loving, can I get an amen? How many know that often relationships are fractured because of words that were spoken? There's power in words. It's either life or death in the tongue. And so Paul is saying, hey, your conversations, guys, you're part of the church.

The way you speak, what you say, full of grace, seasoned with salt. By the way, not sometimes, always. If our words were seeds, what are we planting? In your marriage, if your words are seeds, what are you planting in the heart of your spouse? As a parent, if your words are seeds, what are you planting in the hearts of your children? As a child, what seeds are you planting with your words in the hearts of your parents? I wanna make a little side note because Paul in this text specifically didn't address it, but I know that there are some singles in the house, and Paul does address singles in other epistles of the New Testament, which, by the way, one of the biggest thing he says to singles is singleness is a gift, to which some singles are like, can I return it? And it's hard to see it as a gift, but the gift that he means there is actually a calling because there is no greater season in life to serve God with everything than when you're single. And I give God thanks that I served him a lot when I was single, and I keep serving him, but some people, you need to learn it now and appreciate it now in your singleness as you push for and pray for maybe what you want and desire for the future because when you're single, you don't have some things that hold you back like when you're not single.

So I just wanna throw that in there. I think it's important. Now, to close things off, let's take a step back to Colossians 3, 23 and 24. Sounds similar to what we read a little earlier. Here, Paul says, he emphasizes, whatever you do, work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord, not for human masters. Since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward, it is the Lord Christ you are serving. Again, Paul emphasizes how important it is. Whatever you do, whatever you do, do it as unto the Lord. Here it is, my words and actions can either point people to God or not. And so that's a question that you and I need to consider. My vertical connection to God has the potential to impact every horizontal connection to others in my life. And so I wanna go back to the guitar as we close off because there's something interesting as I was planning for this that made, it just felt like, oh gosh, this is a perfect, this is a perfect way to kind of land the plane here. So we've agreed that a string is nice on its own, but it needs to be connected. And then we also agreed that a string can sound nice by itself, but it sounds so much better when it's in harmony with other strings, like our lives and relationships.

But here's the cool thing, is that on a guitar, the strings must be connected to what's called the head, the headstock. But then it also needs to be connected to the body. For the string to have the resonance, the melody and the harmony, it needs to be connected to the head and it needs to be connected to the body and there needs to be tension. And so as believers, we need to be connected to Jesus, who is the head of the body, which is the church that we are called to be a part of. And guess what? There's gonna be tension. So we need to learn how to manage that, not be too sharp, not be too flat, but tuned up, tuned up with the one who tunes us in his spirit and guides us to live our life in a way that's connected to him vertically, but then connected well to those around us horizontally. So what is that big idea? Your relationship with Jesus has the potential to positively impact every other relationship in your life. Let's pray. Lord, thank you, because your word is so good. It is so faithful. It is so true. I pray, Lord, that we would pay attention to our connection with you vertically and that we would pay attention to our connection

with the people that you've placed in our lives. I pray that we would take the wisdom and advice from Paul when it comes to our heart, attitude, and motivation in everything that we do and everything that we say. I pray that you would help us live this out in our homes, husbands, wives, parents, children, workers, bosses. I pray even for singles, that we would just be clear and understand that you have a purpose, you have a calling, and we need to make every opportunity count, every moment count, and take advantage of this season, whatever it may be. To be connected to You so we can be connected to the right people. Connected to the head, Jesus. Connected to the body, the church. And understand that there's tension in life. Help us, Lord. Help us manage our lives. Help us manage our relationships in ways that honor and please You. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.