It's Time to Break Up | Travis Waltner

If you read between the lines here, what James is basically is saying is, is you're going after all these passions, all these cravings, you're trying to satisfy your anger, and your lust, and your greed, and all these things, and you're doing this over and over again, but what it's doing is it's leaving you empty. Anybody been there before? Has your lust ever left you empty? Has your gluttony ever left you empty? Has your greed ever left you empty? James says this, he says, you do not have, you're empty, because you do not what? Ask God. What's James saying? He's saying this, you're empty, because you keep satisfying your passions, instead of finding your satisfaction in God. Thank you for worshiping with us. I always say it's such a privilege to be able to worship in this place with all of you. Hey, before we get into the message, I just want to celebrate something that happened last week. Last week at Embrace, it was our largest non-holiday service in the history of the church. We had over 5,600 people join us at our three campuses, which is just insane. But the thing I really want to celebrate is, if you were here last week, Adam gave an opportunity for people to raise their hand, receive Christ in their life, say they wanted to follow Jesus. And last Sunday, we had 135 people raise their hand and said they wanted to follow Jesus. Could we please just give it up for those 135 people? I personally always have to make, gain perspective, because numbers just seem like numbers. A couple weeks ago, I was talking to a guy, and he was sharing with me how drastically Jesus had changed his life. Like, he went from death to life, darkness to light, because Christ came into his life. And I think it's powerful to think that that happened for 135 people last week. So, well, we're going to get into the message. Thanks for joining us. We are in the series on James, and today we are going to be continuing on, just chugging along. We're going to be in James, chapter 4, something that you maybe don't know about our Embrace staff, but every spring, we get together, Adam and I, and some gals and guys from the staff, we get together for a day, and we do a message planning retreat where we plan out all the messages for the next year. This is often just one of my favorite days, tons of ideas floating around the room. Almost all the series that we do at Embrace come from that one-day meeting, like our Be a Man series that came from that. Wrestling with God, even if you remember a few years back, White Elephant Christmas, those all came from these message planning retreats. Well, for every one good idea we have, there's about 10 that never should see the light of day. There's a lot of them. So, our campus pastor out in T, Luke Rorda, he actually came up for the idea to go through the book of James. And so, all you T campus folks, if you've enjoyed this message at all, make sure you thank Luke Rorda for it. But there's something you need to know about his idea. His idea wasn't simply to just preach through the book of James. He had a very specific vision of what this series should be and what it should be called. Now, remember, we've shared this each week, the book of James is written by James, and James is what?

The brother of Jesus. So, Luke came up with the title and even a graphic, and this is what he wanted to call the series. This is no joke. Bruh. This was his pitch. James 1, bruh, resist temptation. James 2, bruh, stop showing favoritism. James 3, bruh, your tongue is a forest fire. I love this graphic, though. Like, look how disappointed Jesus looks in James. It's just like, James, you're not perfect like me. This was kind of the look my son gives me every time I tell him to pick up the clothes off the floor. Now, thankfully for you, our Embrace staff, we value feedback. And so there was a lot of negative feedback about the title, and we passed on it. But I want to be honest with you. I loved this idea. Truthfully, hands showing. How many of you would buy that t-shirt right there, that bruh shirt? Yeah, yeah, you would, okay. We should have done it. We should have done it. Well, let's hop into James. If you have your book, we are on page 22, page 22. And if you don't have your book, open up your phone, open up your Bible to James 4, verse 1. This is what it says. What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire, but you do not have, so you kill. You covet and cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight." So James, he starts this chapter with the question,

what causes fights and quarrels among you? That's a good question, right? I mean, 2026, we seem to love to fight and argue about everything. What causes all this anger, all this strife, all these fights and quarrels among you? It seems like nowadays we pretty much want to fight about everything. We fight about politics, parenting, whether to put pineapple on pizza. That's a definite no, absolute no. It feels like we can find a reason to fight about almost anything, but James tells us the reason why we fight so much, and it might actually surprise you. He says, the reason that we fight so much is that our desires are at war inside of us. Now, that's not often why we think we fight. We think we fight with other people, not because of something inside of us, but something outside of us, right? It's them. They're dumb, they're stupid, they're loud, they're annoying. That's why we have so many quarrels, but James is like, no, no, no. You have so many quarrels and fights among you because of what's inside of you. Your passions, your desires, they are battling inside of you. Now, this word desire in this passage is actually a very, very interesting word. There's actually an older word that was used in the early church that better describes what's going on here, and that word that they used was the passions. Now, a passion is a bit different than we typically think of a desire. A passion is a craving that has to be satisfied. A passion is a craving that has to be satisfied. It moves from I would like this to I need this. You know the difference? This craving inside of you is like, I gotta have this. I need this. I want this. Now, how this kind of shows up in my life, this is a very simple example, but the way this craving shows up in my life is with potato chips. I flippin' love chips. Does anybody else

love just potato chips? Like, just, oh my God. My wife knows, so I love barbecue kettle chips and dill pickle chips, my favorite. My wife knows she can't buy them because I will destroy the entire bag. The other day, last Sunday, she brought home a bag of barbecue kettle chips, and she set it on the counter. What's wrong with you? You don't set that. You hide that sucker. I walk in the kitchen, and that bag is beckoning me. Travis, come open me up. I heard the voice, guys. I'm not joking you. Okay, maybe I did. But, so I go over there, and I open the bag, and I smell the chips. I can feel the crunch in my teeth. I can taste the salt on my tongue before I've even had one. And I think to myself, I'm just gonna have one bowl. That's how every one of these cravings starts. I'm just gonna have one bowl. Well, one bowl turns into two bowl, which turned into the entire bag. Don't you judge me. Okay, this is a safe place to share my sins. Now, that's a funny example, but that pattern is what happens to us all the time, right? Something tempts us, and we feel the craving inside. We feel that passion inside, and we have to satisfy it. Now, way more than chips, the early church, they talked about passions all the time. In fact, they identified eight core passions that we all have. Eight core passions that every human being struggles with. It was actually a monk by the name of Vagoras. His name was a Vagoras Ponticus. There's a new baby name for you. He came up for this list back in the fourth century, so 1,600 years ago. The reason why I share that is, as I go through the list, you're gonna realize that the things that they struggled with 1,600 years ago are still the same things that we struggle with today. Now, I'm gonna go through these really quickly, because there's eight of them. I'm gonna

go through them really quickly, but as I do that, I just want you to ask yourself, how do these show up in my life? How do these cravings, how do these passions show up in my life today? So the first one is this. The first one is this. Gluttony. Gluttony is overindulging in food, drink, or physical pleasure. Oftentimes, we think of gluttony related to food, but gluttony is when we overindulge in anything. When we have too much of anything, too much to eat, we drink too much alcohol, we spend too much time scrolling Instagram. Anybody gluttonous on Instagram? That's gluttony. The second passion is this. Lust. Lust is misusing sexual desire. So any sexual craving outside of the bonds of marriage is lust. If you want to mess around with your boyfriend or girlfriend, that's lust. You know, if you are checking people out all the time, that's lust. If you're wanting to watch pornography all the time, that is the passion of lust. The third one is greed. Greed is the love of money or possessions. If you find yourself constantly consumed with money, thinking about it all the time, chasing it all the time, even worrying about it all the time, that's the passion of greed. But it's not just the love of money, it's also the love of possessions. If you just wanna buy stuff all the time, if the Amazon driver knows your address by heart, it might mean you have the passion of greed. The next one, despair. Despair is just self-pity, self-pity.

Life didn't turn out the way you thought it was going to, which is true of all of us, right? Instead of processing it and moving on, you wallow in a woe-is-me attitude. You dig a pit of self-pity and just sit in it. That's the passion of despair. The fifth one is anger. Anger, resentment, or bitterness. Something or someone wrongs you and you're just angry. You're resentful, you get red in the face, you yell, you scream, and you maybe even want revenge. That's that craving, that's that passion of anger. The sixth one is apathy. Apathy is simply laziness. It's that I-don't-care attitude, just being indifferent to the things of the world. But more specifically, it's laziness in our spiritual life, not pursuing God, not running after God, not doing our best to be close to God. And the seventh one is, this one's so interesting, vain glory. Vain glory is an old word that just means craving recognition and praise. And we see this one all the time, right? When you're trying to impress your boss, when you're comparing your child to someone else's child, you know, when you're one-upping people in conversations, or how about this? When you post something on Facebook or Instagram and you check it over and over again

to see if there's comments or likes. We crave recognition and approval. The last one is pride. Pride is the chief passion. It's the passion which all other ones flow from. Pride is believing you don't need God, that you're good alone, that you're on the throne and you don't need God in your life. So that's all eight of them. We have gluttony, lust, greed, despair, anger, apathy, vain glory, and pride. The question isn't whether the passions show up in your life. The question is, which one of these is running your life right now? Which one of these is beckoning you, just one more time, just one more chip, right? I know for me, as I look at that list, I have them all to some degree, but the one that really hit me was vain glory. The problem isn't for me that I'm on this stage. The problem is that I love being on this stage. The problem is that I know that everything that I do on this stage should give glory to the God of the universe, but there is something working inside of me that wants that glory for myself, that wants the recognition, that wants the honor. Which one is it for you? So James, he talks about all these desires

and then he says this. He says, you do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. So if you read between the lines here, what James is basically is saying is, is you're going after all these passions, all these cravings, you're trying to satisfy your anger and your lust and your grief and all these things, and you're doing this over and over again, but what it's doing is it's leaving you empty. Anybody been there before? Has your lust ever left you empty? Has your gluttony ever left you empty? Has your greed ever left you empty? James says this. He says, you do not have, you're empty because you do not what? Ask God. What's James saying? He's saying this. You're empty because you keep satisfying your passions instead of finding your satisfaction in God. Say it one more time. You're empty because you keep satisfying your passions instead of finding your satisfaction in God. James is saying that trying to satisfy those passions, lust, anger, is keeping us from the one thing that would actually satisfy us. It isn't that we desire things too much, it's

that we desire the wrong things too much. We were created to find deep satisfaction in the Lord and in our God, but we run to all these other things. And James says, as a result of that, this is what's happened. You adulterous people. That was not very nice, James. Don't you know that friendship with the world means enmity with God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. James is saying, when we live to satisfy these passions, we become friends with the world. And he's very clear, it's impossible to be a friend of the world and also a friend of God. Now, this is important to understand. When James talks about the world, he's not saying that we just need to move out of the world. He's not saying that the world is bad. He's not saying that we all need to become monks and nuns, you know, and go live in some convent somewhere. That's not what he's saying. Jesus even said that God so loved the what? God so loved the world that he gave his only son. So we are to live in the world. We are to love the world. But when James is talking about the world, he's talking about those passions. He's talking about those things that would want to draw us away from God. Those cravings, lust, anger, greed. He's like, when you engage in those, you're making friends with the things of the world. You're shaking hands with something that's pulling you away from God. You're giving a high five to something that is wrecking your relationship with God because you can't be friends with the things of the world and also be a friend of God. Now my father in law, I love my father in law to death. He's a great man. Respect him so much, but he has one glaring weakness. And I don't even know if I should be sharing this with all of you this morning, but he is a Packers fan. He's a Packers fan.

Here's the crazy part. He wasn't always a Packers fan. He used to be a Vikings fan. He said he stopped being a Vikings fan when Bud Grant wasn't the coach and they didn't play outside anymore. Now, so about 20 years ago, he shifted from being a Vikings fan to a Packers fan. Now I'm a Vikings fan. That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard in my life. Because here's the deal. If you are a Vikings fan and then you become a Packers fan, that means you were never a Vikings fan. Because there's no way you can be a Vikings fan and cheer for the cheeseheads. There's no way. If you're a Vikings fan, you are opposed to pretty much anything in Wisconsin, right? We're just opposed to the whole thing. That's what James is saying, right? You can't dibble dabble with all these passions, all these cravings, and still say you're a friend of God. Because these are the very things that are pulling you away from him. You can't cheer for both teams. Question for you. Are you cheering for both teams? Are you trying to be with God, but still dabbling in the things in this world? Now, if you're at that place, which I would argue we all are, because all of us have those passions inside of us. All of us long to gravitate to gratify those things that are inside of us. So all of us struggle with this. But if we're at this place, James has a solution for us. This is what he says. Submit yourselves then to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners. Purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn, and wail. Change your laughter into mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourself before the Lord and he will lift you up. So James, in this passage, he's actually giving us a step-by-step plan.

and on how to break off our friendship with the world, how to stop gratifying those passions, how to stop giving into lust and anger and greed. And the first thing he says is this. He says, you must submit to God. Now, when I was reading this, it made me think of an MMA fight. And like, when someone gets in a chokehold, and I don't really know what that is, I had to Google it, but when someone is in, someone gets in a submission move or a chokehold, what is the only option the other person has? Tap out, that's it. Tap out or go unconscious, one of the two. And when they tap out, what are they saying? I'm done, you win. Now, here's the deal. God isn't holding us in any sort of chokehold, but some of you here today, you need to tap out. You've been fighting against God, day after day, week after week, and you just need to say, I'm done fighting. You win. I wanna be on your team now. I wanna stop gratifying all these passions, and I wanna be on your team now. I want to be your friend. Some of you today, if you were to tap out and to get on Jesus's team, it would change everything about your life.

The first thing, we need to submit to God. The second thing he says is this. He says, resist the devil. So, he says, instead of fighting with God, you need to fight against the devil. Instead of giving in to all these passions, you need to resist them. That word resistance is an active word, right? You have to resist them. They will pull you, you need to push back. They will drag you, you need to go the other way. You must resist all the things that would pull you away from God. James is reminding us of something very important here, and I know like in 2026, we're so modern, we don't think that way. Every day that you and I wake up, there are dark spiritual forces in this world that do not want us to be close to God. They want to pull us away from God. The devil and the demons are real, and we have to resist them every single day. What would be different if you woke up, and I don't even do a good job of this. What would be different if we woke up every single morning and be like, I have to resist the devil today, because it's going to be there. Submit to God. Resist the devil. And the third thing he shares is this,

is draw near to God. Just last, just a couple weeks ago, my life has been just kind of crazy lately. Just a lot of stuff going on with work and just kids' activities. And a couple weeks ago, my wife just came up to me, and she said this very kindly, she really did. And she said, I don't feel super close to you right now. Like, awesome, you're doing great. Just doing great as a husband. But she was right. She was right. Like, we were so busy. Even though we were in the same house a lot of the time, we were so busy. We weren't spending time together. We weren't drawing near to each other. And if you're in a marriage, you know this, like, the only way to feel close in a marriage is to be near each other, to draw close together, to share with each other. That's what James is saying here. He's like, it's one thing to submit to God. It's one thing to resist the devil. It's a whole other thing to be in a relationship with God. Like, the whole point of our faith is not to just stay away from the bad stuff. That is not the point. That is not the point. That is not the point.

That is not the point of being a Christian. That is not the point of being a Christ follower. It is to be near our God that created us, to be in a relationship with Him. So how do we get near to God? We have to put ourselves in places where we will be close to Him. We need to talk to Him. We need to pray to Him. We need to read His word. We need to go to church every single day. We need to sing worship songs together. We need to be around other believers, gals and guys, believers, so that we can grow in our relationship with God. We need to be around other believers so that we can grow in our faith, and when we put ourselves in that place, then we will be near to God. So how do you break, how do you break off the friendship with the world? How do you stop gratifying those passions in your life? James says this. Submit to God, resist the devil, draw near to Him. I love how this just reads. Submit, resist, draw near. Could you remember those three things? Resist, draw near. If you are new to faith, this is the path every single day.

Submit, tap out. Resist, resist all those desires, all those evil forces, and draw near to Him. If you have been following Jesus for 40 years, this is still the same path. You don't graduate past this stuff. You don't learn enough about the Bible where you don't submit, resist. draw near anymore. We do these things every single day. And if we would, if we were to do these three things every single day, moment after moment, day after day, you would start to break off a friendship with the world and become a friend of God. So that's James chapter 4. There is so much stuff. If you've been reading it, you know I skipped over a bunch of stuff in chapter 4. So make sure you read chapter 4 this week. There's so many good things. But as we end, I just wanted to close with this. You know, when I was in high school, I didn't date very much, and by very much, not at all. I was way too nervous to talk to girls. And so I just hung out with my guy friends. But when I got to college, I met this girl. We started hanging out. But at the same time I met her and was hanging out with her and we started dating, actually, I started to grow in my faith with the Lord, like a bunch. I started to really grow in my faith with God. And all of a sudden I realized it was like, two different things are in opposition here. This dating relationship is not jiving with the things that I'm learning about God or wanting to follow God with. And so I got together with this girl and I just said, hey, this ain't working. She was great. But I said, this isn't working, we're gonna need to break up. Now we hadn't been dating very long, but if you've

had any sort of a breakup, which many of you have, they're all not easy, yet I knew the breakup needed to happen. Church, there are some of you here today that you need to break up with something in your life. There is some passion, some craving in your life that you are befriending and you can't be a friend of it anymore. You need to break up with your anger. And every day you go home, you're just so angry. You need to break up with your greed. You're constantly chasing the next dollar. You're constantly purchasing thing after thing. You're constantly worrying about money. You need to break up with your greed. You need to break up with your lust. Maybe you're married or not married, but you're being tempted and you're engaging in those temptations outside the bounds of marriage. You need to break up with that thing. What do you need to break up with? Like, not tomorrow, not next week, like today. What do you need to break up with? Because here's the deal, James is clear. We cannot be a friend of the things of the world and still be a friend of God. Let's pray. Father, thank you so much for your word. So challenging. Jesus, your brother, was so challenging with what he put on the paper. Lord, I pray that we could walk in those three things, submit to God, resist the devil, and draw near to you. Submit, resist, draw near. Submit, resist, draw near. God, I think most of our hearts in here, we want to be a friend of God, but we are not super strong. Lord, would you give us strength? Would you help us to put up the resistance so that we could be closer to you? God, we love you. We pray this in Jesus' name. Amen. Also, feel free to click here and check out more of our videos. Thanks so much for watching.