It Runs In The Family || 10:15am Sermon Message || Dr. Dharius Daniels

But today let's have a conversation about spiritual family and even if we don't shout today is still shaping us in some ways that I think are important. Psalm 68 verse number 5, a father to the fatherless, a defender of widows is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families. I want to stop the reading of Scripture there and talk from this subject, it runs in the family. Clap your hands everybody everywhere, it runs in the family. I want to use this intro as an opportunity to pose two questions to two groups of people. The first question is directed toward individuals who are seated in this sanctuary physically in overflow or virtually, who are experiencing and navigating a season we call singleness. Are you ready for your question? Your enthusiasm overwhelms me. I said are you ready for your question? Okay, here it is. Are you the kind of person that the person you looking for is looking for? Are you the kind of person that the person you're looking for is looking for? The second question is directed toward a group of people who are in a season of coupling, whether it is marriage or dating. Are you ready for your question? I know there's more of you all here. I said are you ready for your question? Okay, here it is. Are you becoming the kind of person that the person you are with would want if they became the kind of person you want them to be? Are you becoming the kind of person you are with would want if they became the kind of person you want them to be? For example, if you want them to be more spiritually mature, how would a spiritually mature person feel about this current version of you? If you want them to be more emotionally intelligent, how would an emotionally intelligent person handle this version of you? Therefore, it's okay. Therefore, it is my conviction that one of the wisest actions a person can take to improve relationally is to make a commitment to grow personally. We get better relationally when we grow personally because technically there is no such thing as a broken relationship. Technically, there are broken people and broken people can break a relationship. A refusal to develop personally while praying fervently for someone unrelationally is basically asking God to act unjustly and send you a relational

asset while you remain a relational liability. You are asking God to bless somebody...you're asking God to bless you at somebody else's expense, for them to experience a burden and for you to experience a blessing. It is unjust, it is unfair, it is untenable, it is illogical, and it is unbiblical. The best thing we can do relationally is to grow personally. There are some conversations that you can't have until you grow. There are some issues you won't be able to address until you grow. There are some things you won't be able to understand until you grow. There are some obstacles that you could actually overcome if you could grow. There are some offenses that you could actually address if you weren't in your corner with pride and if they weren't in their corner with pride and if you could both come together in humility in order for the Savior to give you some assistance in addressing your offense. I don't hear anybody in God's house. Therefore, I'm arguing that we need more than fervor for healthy relationships. We need formation for healthy relationships. We will never outgrow imperfection, but we can outgrow immaturity. And many... People subject their partners to constant chaos in the name of I'm not perfect. When the truth is the problem isn't that you aren't perfect, the problem is you're malformed. And spiritual formation reduces some of our relational dysfunction and for singles it helps prevent relational idolatry which might be the reason your phone is dry because God is supernaturally sabotaging some of our relationships because when we get in a relationship with them it changes your relationship with him. When you are single you are at church you're at 180 nights you're watching a blueprint online but as soon as you get a man now I can't hear anybody talking to me now all of a sudden you're too cute to praise him and you're too busy to stay consistent. I said all of that just to say this we cannot get relationships right if we get formation wrong and we cannot get formation right if we're getting spiritual family wrong because God uses more than your relationship with him to form you. He uses your relationship with others to form you and if you have healthy relationship with him the Bible says it will show up in healthy relationship with others

and the family will lead to your formation and your formation is what puts you in position to have a healthy whole and wholesome relationship and the text here in Psalm 68 offers some insight on what I'm articulating. The book of Psalms is a collection of over 150 ancient Hebrew songs some of them are prayers some of them are poems some of them are laments and some of them are reflections that give language to virtually every dimension of the human experience with God. There are Psalms where the writer is expressing jubilation and then there are Psalms where the writer is expressing frustration. There are Psalms where the writer is clear and convinced that God is good and then there are Psalms where the writer is confused and saying God where you at? The Psalms are not just a picture of what's happening in other people's lives who wrote these Psalms. The Psalms give you permission to take your real issues to a real God because God will not address what you refuse to expose. If you're mad let's talk about it. If you're disappointed let's talk about it. If your heart is broken let's talk about it. If you're confused let's talk about it. If you if you want to abandon your responsibilities let's talk about it. David said if I had wings like a dove I need a baptized Methodist church right here. I fly away to be at rest and although several writers contributed to this compilation that we call Psalms the most notable and the most dominant contributor is a dude named David and Psalms 68 is attributed and accredited to David. Some historians suggest that this Psalm 68 is actually a song and it is a song that David wrote after military victories in 2 Samuel chapter 5 and are y'all still here and in addition to that the return of the Ark of the Covenant to Jerusalem in 2 Samuel chapter number 6. This song is an interesting song because even though he got the victory he writes a song that gives God the credit. I lost my church and I need you to come back here. I said the song he writes even though a city was named after him when he got victory he doesn't write a song about himself he writes a song about his savior. He says in Psalm 68 verse 1 may God arise and his enemies be scattered. Did you hear what I just said? David gives us a revelation that that watch this that just because you got the victory doesn't mean you won the battle. Just because people give you credit doesn't mean you should take the glory. Did you hear what I just said? Yes indeed. You see We need to recognize that we can do the work, but only he can give us the strength. We can walk through the door, but he's the one that opens it. We can make the connections, but he orchestrates the introductions.

We took advantage of the opportunity, but he arranged the timing. We closed the deal, but he sent the favor. We create planted the seeds, but he sent the rain. We celebrate what we did, but you forget what he hid. This is why at this church, we will always be unapologetic, unrestrained, unrestricted, and passionate in our praise, because we agree with what David said in Psalm 127, except the Lord build the house. They that labor, labor in vain. And I want somebody who recognizes you owe God some back pay because you got the victory, but he gave you the battle to take about 30 seconds and praise him for every mountain he brought you over, for every trial he saw you through. I got the degree, but he gave me the strength. I got the opportunity, but he opened the door and you think I'm going to come in here and allow some mean mugs to stop me from praising him when I think of the goodness of Jesus and all he's done for me, my soul cries hallelujah. Watch me praise him. I'm not praising him because I'm emotional. I'm praising him because I'm logical. I have enough sense to know that I did not get here by myself if it had not been for the Lord who was on my side, where? So now that you got blessed, you can't praise him. Now that he's opened the door, you can't praise him. Now that there's a little money in the bank, you can't praise him. But I wish I had some people that had the attitude of David that said, when I come into God's house, my crown is down. All right, uh-uh, that's not what I want, uh-uh. Flo, watch me praise him. Watch me praise him. Watch me praise him. Watch me praise him.

Watch me praise him. Watch me praise him. Watch me praise him. Watch me praise him. Watch me praise him. Watch me praise him. I won the victory, but he won the battle. Not emotional, I'm logical. Praise is good manners. When somebody blesses you with something, your response ought to be thank you. All right, all right, all right, all right. Somebody just had a flashback from 2016, something you forgot about. And now all of a sudden, something on the inside of you says, I owe God a retroactive praise and a retroactive thanksgiving. This song, in this psalm, is a song of celebration. And in this song, he has a line. And y'all know how we are. We know melody and some lyrics. We don't know lyrics. But I want you to see something that's extremely short, but it's significant. Watch what he says. this song written in celebration after a fight, he has a conversation about family. He says, this God, who is a warrior king, who dwells among his people, leads his people, cares for his people. He says these words, this God takes the lonely and sets them in family. This is interesting. How does he go from a conversation about fighting to a conversation about family unless somehow he realizes and recognizes that the only reason I won this fight was because of family.

But there is not much in scripture that suggests that David's family helped him fight. So when he says family, what does he mean? Well, here's the word that he uses. The word that he uses is a word that can mean house, it can mean household, it can mean home, or it can mean a place of belonging. And I'm arguing that David is describing something broader than God reconnecting people with relatives. He is describing God who takes people who are isolated, displaced, unprotected, and disconnected and integrates them into a covenant community called spiritual family. Now, verse five makes sense when he says he's a father to the fatherless. David is revealing that God can create relational provision beyond biological connection. Don't miss this, that in other words, when natural family is absent, unavailable, or unable to provide everything that you need, God, who is a good father, will not allow you to operate with a relational deficit so that what you don't get in natural family, he will substitute or supplement with spiritual family. He will refuse to allow your relational deficit to be a legitimate excuse that keeps you from optimizing. So he says, if you didn't have any real brothers, I'll send you some. And if you didn't have any real sisters, I'll send you some. And if your real mother wasn't a real mother,

I'll send you a church mother that'll be more of a real. Come on here. Sometimes natural family is absent. Sometimes natural family is unavailable. And then there are other times natural family is sufficient. They accomplish their assignment. Their assignment very often is your foundation, which has a lot to do with your history. But your formation is not about your history. It's about your destiny. You need a natural family. Did you hear what I said? To get you where you are, but you need spiritual family to take you where God wants you to go. I don't hear anybody talking to me in here. Because when you look at David's life, do I have help in here? Where my intercessors at? I feel a little pushback. I need my intercessors now. Listen to me. David got foundation from his natural family. And the foundation was necessary for his destiny. He's a shepherd King and he could not be a shepherd King if he wasn't a shepherd boy. We don't get Psalms 23 if he's not a shepherd boy. And he's a shepherd boy because of the house he was born in. He needed that foundation.

It was important. It was essential. It was consequential. But even if Jesse, who's his father, was willing to help him, he was unable to help him when it came to what God had for him. Because he had a son who's about to become a King and Jesse never ran one. Why is it quiet in here? Jesse doesn't understand what it means to have a military under your command. Jesse doesn't understand what it means to have to oversee an empire. Jesse doesn't understand what it means to have an entire country's wellbeing predicated on your decision-making. So God had to surround David with a supplemental family that would help him with his formation so he could properly carry out his assignment. Mama did what mama was supposed to do and mama will do what mama's supposed to do. But there are some things that God's called you to do that mama cannot help you do on her own. And so God surrounded David with Samuel who could see in him what he couldn't see. Who could see in him what his own dad couldn't see. See, I don't know why Jesse didn't see.

the king and David, he just didn't see it. It doesn't mean he disliked him. It just means he couldn't see it. Did you hear what I just said? Yes, see there's a spiritual religious leader named Samuel. First and second Samuel in the Old Testament kind of speaks of Samuel's ministry. But most of it is not about Samuel. Most of it is about David and Saul. But here's Saul and David. But here's the point that I'm making. In first Samuel, the Bible says that God speaks to Samuel and says, hey, you're a king maker. And so the next king for Israel is in the house of a man named Jesse. I want you to go down to Jesse's house because I've selected my king there. And so Samuel goes down to Jesse's house and say, God says there's a king in this house. Jesse's got seven sons, but he only calls six of his sons to have an audience with Samuel. He didn't even consider his youngest son, whose name was David. And the Bible says that as Samuel begins to evaluate and stays in communication with God so that he can accurately identify who the king is, the Bible says that none of the six men were the king. And Samuel had to say, are these all your sons? And David's own father says, no, I got one more, but I know it's not him.

What do you do when the one who live with you can't see you? Y'all not. What do you do when the one that's supposed to know you the best is actually one that sees you the least? Because are you hearing what I'm saying? Maybe, maybe he had no ill intent, but maybe because David was tending to the sheep, what David had done was all he wanted David to do. And so he wanted to keep David relegated. And Samuel said, everybody sit down. We're not moving until we get here. So they called David. And when David walked up, God said, that's the one. Don't miss this. Six of his brothers got an audience with Samuel first. Six of his brothers got to the opportunity first. Six of his brothers auditioned first. Six of his brothers applied first. Six of his brothers interviewed first. But when God has something for you, it doesn't matter who gets there first. God will hold it in place until you get there. So his relationship with his father is complicated at best. And his relationships with his brothers, complicated at best. When David brings food to his brothers who are in the military, he overhears an enemy who's a part of an enemy army called the Philistines.

This enemy was named Goliath. He is insulting Israel and Israel's God. And Israel's just sitting there like they don't hear. So David say, who is this? Y'all don't hear that? So he's inquiring of what's going on. And his own brother, who he brought food to. Y'all quiet. Iliab, his oldest brother, heard him speaking with the men. He burned with anger at him. And he asked, why have you come down here? And with whom did you leave those few sheep in the wilderness? I know how conceited you are. And how wicked your heart is. You only came down here to watch the battle. That's his own brother. Now I'm bringing you food. And this is your response to me. Your response is not only ignorant, it's arrogant. It assumes motive. It's an assumption of motive fallacy. And this is when someone arrogantly assumes they know your motives when they can't see your heart. So when David said, he takes the lonely and sets them in family. He's not just talking from observation. He's talking from experience. Because there's a group of individuals that didn't have his blood, but had his best interests.

Samuel was the one that saw the king get him and confirmed it. And when his brothers weren't brothering, Jonathan was more of a brother than his brothers. And when he got out of line and needed to be corrected, a prophet named Nathan was the one that corrected him. Because his formation. Required a different kind of family and here's the issue Many people don't get the formation they need for their destiny and the formation that they need that's going to help them show up in relationships properly because They focus on Their relationship with God and don't realize the importance of the relationship with family You can't be your best self by yourself It's quiet And this idea of Spiritual family is actually God's original intention for Christian community This is actually the dominant metaphor That the New Testament uses to describe what we call church Yeah Brothers and sisters sons and daughters household of the faith in the enemy Understands the importance of this so he infects this with foolishness So that we are running from the very thing We need to be running to to help form us into who God has called us to be I'm not hearing anybody talk to me now But I've looked in Scripture and I see a few things here That a biblical functioning family supposed to be I want to lift these up

To you today because you cannot get Relationships right if you get formation wrong and you cannot get formation right if you're getting spiritual family wrong David's need Nathan's and Jonathan's and Samuel's Let's Play tar, yo, maybe that'll help here. It is number one Number one family is supposed to be most of them aren't supposed to be safe You will not be shaped where you don't feel safe Boy if I had time to deal with this God's house should be a safe house But one of the ways the enemy makes it unsafe is by inculcating Christian culture with sin classism Therefore y'all not talking to me now Therefore there is this ranking of sin that Christians create that's inconsistent With what God created and so you'll judge the person that's getting high But when we gonna talk about your gossip and your self-righteousness Cuz your gossip is actually what's making the body unsafe People can't get healed because they can't get real and they won't get real because we Talk too much You Say you want me to be real but before I be real before I'm finished being real you made a real about my realness Did you hear what I just said Must be safe Said I can't be shaped where it's not safe. And when you got sin classism you see the the splinter Jesus said and somebody else's eye But you can't see the plank in your own eye. You got a whole plank Jesus Uses animalistic metaphors that come to speak to Personalities that will exist in the context of a church sheep. You'll have goats and you'll have wolves Sheeps and goats are imperfect as we all are Sheeps and goats are underdeveloped as we all are sheeps and goats at times can be immature as we all are but wolves are

Unsafe and Jesus said wolves actually don't look like them They look like sheep they're in sheep's clothing So To teach people how to functionally exist in the context of Christian community We've got to stop acting like there are no wolves in here. Because we're creating this expectation that everybody that gathers in a room is safe. And when people get bit, they leave the church instead of leaving the wolf. Leave that wolf alone, not your church. It's supposed to be safe. No, that's just them. No, that's wolf behavior. That's just how she is. Was she like a wolf then? You're just about to let them devour new Christians and devour people that are vulnerable. Rabidness. People can't be shaped when they're not safe. Number two, families must be specific. There are times when I want to do certain things, I tell my daddy. Such and such daddy letting him do it. He said, that's not your daddy. Because there are certain things that go on in certain houses that don't go on in this house. Families have to be specific. There has to be a DNA and determine this is how we do it around here. You didn't get to go to your mama house

telling your mama everything that happened at somebody else's house. But people will come from one spiritual family and come into another spiritual family and then want that spiritual family to be that spiritual family. There's nothing wrong with that spiritual family, but families are specific. We don't do that over here. Our mission is to be a spiritual family that helps as many people as possible live lovingly like Jesus. We love other Christians. We're just not trying to be like other Christians. Y'all didn't, you missed it. We're trying to be like Jesus. We respect other Christians, but we don't even think Christian culture is healthy. We think it's schisms. We think it's condescending. We think it's narcissistic. We think it's judgmental. We think people profit off gossiping off of the failures and the flaws of other people. We don't want to be like other Christians. We want to be like Jesus. That's what we own over here. That's this house. Many people as possible live lovingly like Jesus so they can change the world.

We are clear on our calling to prepare people to make world impact. We are not people who are obsessed with an imminent eschatology. We're not just sitting around with our legs folded waiting on Jesus to come back. We read our Bible and Jesus said, occupy until I come. Do business until I come. So we send in kingdom agents So we send in kingdom agents into the arts and entertainment. We're sending kingdom agents into government. We're sending kingdom agents into education. We're sending kingdom agents into healthcare. We're going to do business until he comes. Want us to do a sermon on the seven spirits that surround the throne and you don't even know how to talk to your children. We family got to be specific. Number three, it's got to be settled. Even if you don't like your brother, you know who he is. Even if you don't like your daddy, you know who he is. Even if you don't like your mother, you know who he is. And you cannot grow unless you're planted. The Bible says those, come on here, that are planted in the house of God. The Bible says those that are planted in the house of God. Come on here, that are planted in the house of God shall flourish.

Now you need discernment so that you know what roots to put your soil in. And if you don't know what roots to put your soil in, only the father can show you that. But spiritual soil contains the nutrients that your spiritual roots need for this season of your life. And if you don't know that, you'll be jumping around from soil to soil. And now you're confused and conflicted when the truth of the matter, are y'all here? When the truth of the matter is, your formation requires some consistency. And when you treat church like an event center and a restaurant, And a movie theater You never establish roots so you never get what the soil actually has to offer And I'm gonna tell you something the devil knows this so he's gonna use offense and Injury to try to get you out of your soil You didn't hear what I just said But here's what I here's what I believe you don't know Whether or not you rooted unless your roots survive offense Let me go Let me go Let me go. I Said you don't know if you're really rooted unless your roots can survive offense first John 2 19 They went out from us, but they did not really belong to us for if they had belonged to us They would have remained with us, but they're going show that none of them belong to us Somebody's gonna offend you here Somebody's gonna injure you Somebody's gonna show you arrogance and if you've never practiced staying planted in spiritual family

You'll never know how to stay planted in marriage either and you'll let one ugly season convince you that the whole Relationship was never beautiful I'm done And The devil will trick people into allowing a secondary offense to cause them to make a primary move There'll be a house that is literally blessing your life spiritually and Because you don't like the lights You'll let lights Get in the way of you receiving the life-giving word that God Has assigned to your life, I'm done I'm way over, but I got one more thing I need to say Number four a Biblically functioning family has servant Some of your work going through this right now You in a natural family and everybody watching, but everybody not caring they wait Because Family isn't just about identity. It's about responsibility Are you here it's about responsibility and everybody Doesn't serve a family the same way, but everybody should serve the family some way because it means I love you too much To let you carry all this and I just enjoy and never contribute So It doesn't mean everybody's gonna be on dream team some people shouldn't do that but but some of you it isn't serving on dream team It's using your gifts Strategically and episodically for some of you is leveraging the connections that you have and saying hey You're getting ready to do above-the-rim basketball camp. I know somebody that could come in and help run clinics Hey, you're getting ready to do change mark. I know somebody that can help us get shoes We all don't serve the same way, but we all should be doing something How'd you feel if mama's sick and you're the only one putting up money and you're the only one helping and you're the only one taking care

Because whenever I drop a ball somebody else got to pick it up Now here's what's happened I don't have time to deal with this But one of the things that servant trains you to do in natural relationships all this stuff is going back to natural Relationships and this is why some of us not ready for a husband It's why you're not ready for a wife and I'm gonna tell you about it in September because here's here's what I want you to understand some of you serve serving in church teaches you how to serve a vision and then start with you and Wives need to understand that and husbands need to Understand that because some husbands God's gonna call you to a Abigail and her primary ministry is gonna be your home But every woman out of Abigail, there's some Deborah's out here who say I'm not just gonna fry bacon. I'm gonna bring it in So she's got a vision out to see y'all not ready. There's too much God's put something in her too. Now. That's not what you want. That's not what you need to marry, but she exists And what does it mean for you to unlock what God put in somebody else too But if you don't know how to serve a vision that didn't originate with you In God's house, you won't be able to do it in yours You We over time I just come on here's what I want you to ask yourself as you prepare to leave