Inside Our Marriage: Faith That Ground Us

Hey crew, it's Adam. I'm a husband, a father, a pastor, a follower of Jesus who just like you is trying to learn what it looks like to fully live and follow Jesus in the middle of real life. It is one thing to be someone on Sundays, but what about Monday through Saturday? And so here, we're gonna talk about faith and making a difference in the messy, ordinary moments where it's often the hardest to live out. Some weeks, I'll share what God is teaching me. Other weeks, I'll sit down with leaders, pastors, athletes, friends. There's no fluff, just encouragement and truth for your life between Sundays. I'm so glad you're here. Well, hey crew, a happy Wednesday. Here we go. It is Adam and Emily joining you. Let's go. Back on Life Between Sundays for episode 334 this week. We got a fun week ahead. We got a fun week ahead. You wanna recap a little high, low, Buffalo moments from this last week? I got several highs. I was able to interview Xavier Scott and his wife, McKenna, at my church. Xavier's running back for the Vikings.

That was a high. But my other high was being in temperature over 50 degrees. Hey, today is like over 50 degrees, actually. It is, it is really nice. But I was in Arizona, which is actually like really nice. It was funny, I got back and people were like, oh, it was so nice here. It was 30 something degrees. I'm like, that is not nice. No, no, 70 degree weather. So yeah. It's thawing a little bit here. It felt really good to get away. And we were just on a 48 hour trip to Arizona and back and it was awesome. So that'd be my high. Fun. I don't think I have a low. Honestly, there's been, life is far from perfect, but I don't think there was a low. The Seahawks won the Super Bowl, which I was cheering with my son, Wilson. So that was another high. So I just got all kinds of highs. Oh, wow, life is just really good. It's awesome. I wish I felt the same. Yeah, you're not feeling super well, but I. My life is great, except I'm just sick. The Lord is with you.

Yeah, can you heal me, please? It's a great day to be alive, too. Life is so good. We got breath in our lungs. Yep, barely. I mean, it's coming through my snotty nostrils. It's slowly making its way there, but there is breath. I was going to try to get a transition to Valentine's day coming up. Oh yeah. My husband's so lucky. It is Valentine's day. It's also my son's birthday on Valentine's day. So I'm going to have a 19 year old. What one? Oh, Hudson's birthday? Yeah, so shout out to you, Hudson Weber. But it's Valentine's day, and our episode is really focused in that way, so. Do you, do you like, are you like big Valentine's people in your house? I know some people don't buy into the. We, we're trying to find, we don't have a reservation, so we're trying to find one, and maybe we're going to do it a different day around Friday, because it's so hard to get. I'm the sappy one in our marriage, for sure. So I love flowers. I love sappiness. All the things is me,

and Beck's more like, hey, sure, or something, so. Well, I feel like Valentine's day is so much harder. Like, okay, so I like Valentine's day when it's like a Galentine's, like just with my like girlfriends. I like think that's super fun. I don't really like it with my husband, though. What is this? I'm just kind of like, I just, it's just a weird, like it's so easy being a guy because they just get you card flowers and like a candy. Literally so easy. Oh, it's so easy to be a guy. And Carl, like, what am I supposed to get him? Another present? Like just a random sort of gift? Like, I don't, like, what would, do you want flowers for Valentine's day? I would take flowers. I am actually a guy who loves, oh yeah, I love flowers. I don't think so. Most men would not want flowers, though, so do not buy flowers from most men. They'll hate it. I know, so I'm like, I don't even know what to get. There's just lots of pressure. There's not a lot of, it's not like pressure, but it's just like, I don't really feel like I really want to do this. There it is.

But, but, it'll be fun. Happy Valentine's day. Yeah. So this week you had your wife on the podcast. Yes. Can you kind of give us just a little brief little. Yeah, so Beck and I have been married 21 years and I am so grateful for her. We are so different, which honestly for years was something that was hard when you're just like, I just, you would never say this, but you're like, I just wish I had someone that was more like me. And yet Arthur Brooks talks about the fact that you actually do not want to be married to yourself. And that's what actually makes marriage awesome is being married to someone different. And so we, we shared, and I just really enjoyed the time with her and I'm just really, really grateful for that. So we just talked about our marriage really candidly, talked about different rhythms we have, different things that couples should consider doing, whether it's going to a Christian therapist, whether it's date nights. We talked about our sex life, I believe. So we kind of went all over the place and I really hope it encourages somebody to know that you're not alone, to know that your marriage is not the only imperfect marriage and also for someone who's dating,

maybe just to take away some things of like, whoa, that's pretty cool. Like I hope to be married someday and that was really helpful. So sit back and enjoy this conversation. So with. Valentine's day coming up, uh, Annie, our new podcast coordinator and Emily, my assistant thought that we should talk about relationships and marriage. And so I have my wife on Becky. Uh, we've been married 21 years. It's crazy. Can you believe that? 21 years? Nope. I feel like it. Every time I I'm starting to put 20, like, uh, the church turns 20, we've been married 21 years. That just makes me feel really old. Uh, four kids. Um, we've lived most of our marriage here in Sioux falls, got married. The next day we went to seminary. So we lived in Kentucky for just under three years. So there's that. Any other fun facts about our marriage? I don't know. We have three dogs. That's not our marriage, but they're part of the family. They are part of the family. The other day, our kids called us out because we were sitting by each other when normally we're sitting with our dogs. And so I was like, we got to change that. Um, but no, I'm really, really excited to jump into this. Uh, so every single guest I have, I start with this question. Uh, what is one practice or habit in your Monday through Saturday life that helps you stay grounded in your faith or has impact? So what's one habit or practice in your everyday life, uh, that stays grounded? I'll go first. Uh, for me, uh, two things. It is time in God's word right now. I'm reading through the book of Samuel, uh, first Samuel. And I just love it. I don't even know what chapter I'm on right now.

All I know is David is running for his life from Saul. So every single day, uh, time in the word. And then another thing that's been really helpful is memorizing scripture. So since July 1st, every week I memorize a different scripture this, this week, it's a, it's one of the Proverbs. So that would be mine. I didn't know you're going to go first. I thought you were just asking me. Um, mine is probably just reading through the Bible in a year, just listening to it every single day. Um, and when I finished I just go around again and just kind of listen to it and just, yeah, it's so nice to listen to it. Cause I don't have to like sit there and read it. Like I can just kind of listen as I'm doing something. So, and that's just really, what, what, what are you listening through? Like what are you, uh, the Bible app it's Nikki and Pippa Gumbel. It's the Bible in a year. It's from, um, it's kind of through alpha I think is what it's called. Yeah. And you've, you've done that one in like several years, right? Have you? Yeah. For a long time. Have you ever, have you done the Bible recap yet? No, no, no. I just liked this one cause it has a little devotional. They kind of explain like all the passages that you're going through and then it's just read to you. So yeah, that's awesome. And you you've literally, I feel like listening to that for years now and it's, it's so good. And the both, both Pippa and Nikki are awesome people. A similar question, but different. What's one practice or habit in your everyday life that has helped your marriage grow and stay healthy? I'll let you go first this time. I was trying to give you time as an introvert to process your feelings. I mean, you can ask me anything and I would just immediately jump in and start sharing my soul. I was giving my, I was taking care of my introvert. You can go first. Um, I, we're jumping into the deep end here. I feel like I, someone,

a close friend of mine just asked, like if we have regular date nights and we ha we don't have a regular date night. I feel like we're getting better at making that an intentional thing. Um, we're just going to go right there. I feel like our sex life is got a rhythm to it that has helped it stay grounded. Uh, let's just pull the bandaid off. So like I, I feel like that's been, this is what I told my best friend, not that I'm not a family member of, I just said, that's been something that's really, really been, um, critical. Cause I feel like, I feel like in your forties, at least I'm hearing this right now, a lot of couples in their forties feel like they're now roommates. Um, and even not just couple, like I'm talking solid, Jesus fouling, great people. The husband and wife are both awesome. Um, really feeling like roommates. And I feel like that's been specifically as a guy, maybe it's, I know some women it's a priority for two, but our, our physical sex life is a huge thing for me that I feel like helps us stay connected and growing. So, yeah. I, I just think for both of us just staying connected to the Lord, like I feel like I'm not sure if I would have been able to do this if I hadn't been, I don't know if I honestly don't know how people get through marriage without having the Lord. Cause I find that if the, both of us are connected to him, I feel like we're able to love the other person, even when we don't want to, cause it's not always easy. Like even after an argument, it's like, okay, you're not my favorite person right now. I'm kind of mad at you. And so just. to take that like, step back and just kind of really process things with him. I just feel like, I don't know, for me, I feel like that's... What does it change though? Like, I'm just

trying to like, for the person, like, what's the, like, what is, what does that change that you and I are connected to Jesus? It, he just, he's just God. I mean, he gives us the strength to love each other. He gives us the, like, the kindness. He gives us, he helps us forgive. Like, he, I don't know. It just, he has, for me, he has to be part of it. Otherwise, I just don't think it would work as well. I'm sure people, obviously they have done it without him, but yeah, I mean, I'm not, for me, I'm not sure how we would have done it if we both didn't know the Lord. Yeah. I feel like strength, encouragement, but I think specifically, maybe as a guy, again, I feel like conviction is like, his conviction is what keeps us putting each other first. Conviction is what puts like, not looking outside of our marriage. Like, I feel like it really is. I don't know what a guy does who doesn't know Jesus in their marriage. Like, I just don't know how, maybe I'm speaking terribly about men. I don't know how they stay faithful without that because the feelings come and go, life happens, things change. And it's like, he is what continually, uh, just keeps me like coming back to you, which I think is super, super cool. Um, so yeah, I love that. Okay. So again, these questions are coming from Annie and Emily, two younger gals who are earlier in their marriage. I wish I could say younger about me. Uh, and that's, that's long gone. So we're not that old. My hips are hurting right now as I'm sitting here. So I'm, I'm turning 90 years old later. Okay. So what would you tell your, your younger selves about marriage and God's faithfulness? So what would you tell our baby infant, 20 year old selves about marriage and. Oh my gosh. I don't know. I'm sure there's a lot of things. Yeah. Like think about us when we were like 25, 24, 23. I mean, you're not going to get your full worth from your spouse. Like they are going to mess up a lot. They're going to, they're not going to live up to your expectations a lot. I mean, I mean, if you're going into it, like, yeah, I get like, there's that. I feel like we went through this, like when we got engaged and we were dating, like, I feel like we were kind of infatuated with one another. And yes, we did love each other, but I don't think you really know what you're getting yourself into before you get married. I mean, marriage counseling is great to do, but I don't know that can't prepare you. And so just like having a foundation in the Lord and just kind of realizing that he is your complete worth and satisfaction. And, um, like he just has to be it. Otherwise,

if you're looking for it constantly from your spouse, like you're going to be really disappointed really often. No, it's true though. Like it's this is the honest podcast. This is we're both imperfect human beings. It's very honest. No, it's true. It is true though. Like, yeah, you make me like happy, like sometimes, but like, if I'm not, if I'm looking for that, I'm just saying that for the person who thinks that like the fairy tale has come to them and that it's not going to be hard. It's like, it's going to be hard. Yeah. Especially those first couple of years too, when you're getting used to each other and you're, I mean, I know people, some people live together before they get married, but I feel like when you're, um, yeah, it just like, it's just, just kind of going into marriage maybe with that mindset and just having your feet grounded in the Lord. Like, I just feel like it's so important. Yeah. I think I would just like stress the importance of time with Jesus every single day. I know you're busy. I know you got kids and you're waking up at all times in the night, but I just think keeping that a priority. I also think I would tell them like my younger self, like pour into your friendships even more like just those handful of friendships. Um, yeah, just again, outside of family, my, my best friend and I, we just this last week to spur the moment like, Hey, do you want to grab coffee? And we ended up just discussing marriage, which was really, really cool. Um, but I just think having that is so critical to stay like just realizing nobody's marriage is great or perfect. I mean, nobody's marriage is perfect. And that's just encouraging. Cause even me as a pastor, I started thinking like, gosh, what's wrong with our marriage. And it's like, our marriage is awesome. I also think it's hard, but what I I would tell them about God's faithfulness is you have no idea. If you stick with your marriage, it does get better and better. And if you stick with your marriage, you get to see all these awesome things that you would never get to see if you checked out. Like I think it would be so much easier to go outside of our marriage,

so much easier to not work on it, to not choose each other and kind of just look for the thing that makes us feel good. But if you stick with it, like our kids and what God's doing in them and even just our family as a whole, like I feel like we've seen the faithfulness of God time and time again. And that's just, I feel like we'd miss out on that. Even like, it was interesting, I was talking to the guy yesterday at church and he was a person who's prayed for me over the years. And he's like, can you imagine if you would have left Embrace when it got hard years back? And I'm like, no, I can't imagine all that I would have missed out on. And I feel that same thing with our marriage. Like if we would have checked out or when it got hard at certain places left it, I just grieve on everything that we would have missed. And I think it's kind of cool. I don't want it to happen anytime soon, but I think it's even cool to look ahead to like grandkids. And I feel like that's when we'll see just another layer of God's faithfulness in a really cool way where it's like, whoa, if we would have checked out, we would have missed all this. So yeah, I think we answered this one. In what ways has your faith shaped how you love

and serve each other in marriage? Can we talk about that? Anything you wanna add there? I mean, again, like when you're, when you know the Lord, like you're gonna do things differently. Like even though maybe your spouse might not be like acting lovingly towards you, he's still gonna ask you to love them and choose to love them even when you don't want to. And I feel like that kind of attitude has to, basically you have to have that attitude of like, okay, Lord, you're telling me to do this, so I'm gonna do it and help me do it. Like as far as like serving your spouse and that kind of thing, because you're not gonna naturally wanna do that. Like the sinful and like, what am I looking for here? Like the flesh side of you is gonna be like, I wanna think all about myself, but it's like the Lord will, I think he's faithful in that area too. It's like the attitude and the feelings will come afterward when you kind of submit yourself to him and obey him, I guess. Yeah, how can, I'll go to the next question. How can couples invite God into the relationship without feeling pressure to be perfect? How do we invite God into our relationship?

What does that look like? First off, I'd say, don't expect yourself to be perfect because like try to get rid of that. I'm a perfectionist myself. And so that's really hard for me to give myself some room to be imperfect, but I feel like, sorry, what was the question? Yeah, how do we invite God into our relationship without feeling the pressure to be perfect? I know that's a nice thing. I don't think you have to be perfect. And I feel like if you just maybe start like different habits, like praying for your spouse, like asking them if you can pray for them, like go to church together, tell them what you're learning from the Bible. You can do a Bible study together. You can, I don't know, I feel like there's a lot of just like little things that you can do in your marriage. Anything specifically that you think, yeah, and maybe it's the same things you just listed, but is there any other ways that you would say we invite God into our marriage that's different than if we didn't follow Jesus? I don't, I mean, I think praying together is definitely probably one of those things that we probably should do more of. We do nightly. Yeah, yeah.

But you go. Oh, I can't remember what I was gonna say. Yeah, that's an area. So we've prayed nightly together since day one of our marriage, which I think is game changing. But even doing more of that, I think would be huge. I think what you shared, we don't spend time, and I know certain families do, we don't spend time going through the word together, but often she'll share something she's learning from the Bible, or she'll share a message that she listens to, or here's like, even over the weekend, she screenshotted something from her devotional that she, that found powerful. So I feel like we do that. Honestly, so go to church together, even when I'm preaching. I try to sit with you guys one service a morning, like just intentionally try to drain worship and singing when I'm not on stage to come and sit with you. And then finances is even like, I just think inviting God into our finances and tithing and generosity. I always feel like you're way more generous financially than I am. So I feel like anytime a need comes up, you're the one that's like, we should do something. We should give to this, which I love about you. Even though I don't like giving money away,

I know it's something that's really good. So I feel like that's another way. Any other things that come to mind that you would say we invite God into our marriage, like in how that looks? I just feel like inviting him into like every part of your life. Yeah. Like not even just specifically your marriage, like inviting him into everything. And I feel like that kind of overflow, it'll affect your marriage too. Yeah. Parenting, relationships, friendships, just all the above. Dealing with everything going on in our world. Yeah, for real. Yeah, I think all of that is huge and just has that benefit. Before we go any further, we just have some awesome partners we'd like to thank for making Life Between Sundays possible. Adam, who do we have for partners? Yeah, our partners are incredible. Our first partner is First Interstate Bank. I've been doing my own banking with them since 2007, which feels like eternity ago. Whoa. I feel old even at saying 2007. Their mission at First Interstate is to help people and money work better together. They have over 300 locations throughout 14 different states,

Arizona, Colorado, Washington State, South Dakota. I love that even in itself, like that you go to another state, like we constantly. Whenever I see them like out and about, I'm like, oh, look, it's First Interstate Bank. Well, even like Arizona. I was there last week and I'm like, this is great. Here's First Interstate Bank. But what I love the most about First Interstate Bank is when you call them, you talk to a person. And so my person is Joy, who is the sweetest, coolest gal ever. Every time I call her, I'm like, hey, Joy, I have a question about my online banking, or Joy, I have a question about this and that. And Joy is just amazing. And so I can't more highly recommend First Interstate. If you wanna find out more information or to find a location near you, visit firstinterstatebank.com. Our second partner is Vern Eide Mitsubishi. Vern Eide is a growing, employee-owned, faith-based company that strives to deliver dreams and transform lives. And their goal is excellence in everything that they do. I had my Outlander service last week and it was an excellent experience. I was getting text messages, hey, here's what we're doing. Hey, I got a question. Hey, is there anything else that you need us to look at on the vehicle when it's in there?

I'm like, this is awesome. Also, if you're looking to buy a vehicle, whether it's a CRV like my wife drives or an Outlander like I drive, don't go any place else. Okay, so you guys talk openly about counseling. Advice on when a couple should go to a marriage counselor. Please just go right away. Like, don't wait. I was just actually thinking about this the other day. Like, don't wait until things like hit the fan. Because I feel like we all are like, well, I don't need counseling, but like, don't wait. Like, I don't know why we feel like, I don't know if it's just like a generation above us. This is not the generation above us, just like generational like habits. Like, I know for my family, like we weren't really, I wasn't really raised like to go to a counselor and- Not, that wasn't ever like an important thing. But like, don't wait. Like, it's a good, like, and I will say, like, I don't like talking about feelings all the time because every time we go to counseling, I'm usually exhausted afterwards. And I'm just kind of like, okay, leave me alone. Like, I don't want to talk anymore. But like, it is, I feel like it's important to go before things get bad. It's like, why do we wait till it gets bad? This is, I love this, because disclosure,

I would probably go to a marriage counselor once every other month. I know. So, gosh, so speak to that person that's more wired like you. Anything else that you'd say to them? Because it is exhausting for you. You usually, this is not a bad thing. You usually cry half of it and you are emotionally spent when we get done. Well, I think just kind of maybe being honest with yourself and just kind of asking like, well, why don't I want to go? Yeah. And I think for me, Why wouldn't you want to go? Well, for me, honestly, I feel like I'm going to be the one that's always like doing something wrong. And so I'm fearful of just like getting like everything thrown at me. Like you're doing this wrong and this wrong and this wrong. That's not like I'm reading in this book right now. Be aware of the stories that you tell yourself. Like, is it really the truth or is it not? And yeah, I just feel like. Because when we go see Mary Weber, she's definitely not all you. She's like karate. chopping both of us. And it's, it's seriously the best thing. I

feel like it hits reset on our marriage every single time we go. Don't you? Yeah, it's, it's hard. It's not easy. You kind of have to deal with some of your own issues. Yeah, that you might not want to come to the surface or come to the light. Yeah. I one of the things I so I don't do many weddings anymore. But when I did, I always required for marriage counseling, instead of doing the marriage counseling myself, our team, like our pastors, they do most of it themselves. They've been trained on marriage, like pre marriage counseling and stuff. But what I always did is I required that every couple go to a marriage counselor three times. And why I did that is to break the ice on that of like, hey, a year from now when you need it, because right now you feel like you don't need it, but you do. You've already done this. So it's not that awkward, uncomfortable, like, are we struggling? Are we going to end in a divorce? Because we're wanting to see a marriage counselor? It'll be like, no, we've already done that three times because our pastor made us. And I just think that's such an important thing. For what I would tell anybody is just like you would schedule, you know, like getting a physical done on your body or like bringing your car in to get the oil change. I think every married couple two times, ideally four times, I'd go once a quarter. And I just think for us, usually we don't have it scheduled. I'm usually able to convince you about twice a year to go do it. But it's usually when we come up against something that we just don't know how to navigate on our own. It's like, I feel like we're stuck in a rut here. And we just need another person to speak into our marriage. But I think even better than that would be

four times a year. It's just like, hey, we're doing this. And for me, the times that I haven't wanted to go to counseling the most, because I'm like, I'm good. This is fine. Everything's great, are the times that I've really needed to go because then it's then you get to some deeper stuff that's maybe not urgent, but it's really, really important. Anything else to add there? No, I don't think so. Just like, just go like, just get rid of the lie that you don't need it. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Whether a couple is in their 30s or 40s. So many couples seem to be coming to the end of their marriage, like they're even for us. And this is, I know, it's heartbreaking for us, we'll see a couple that's no longer married or whatever. And there's zero judgment, because we know how hard marriage is, but it's definitely like, oh, like, it just is heartbreaking. Encouragement invite and advice to a couple if they feel like they're nearing that place where they're not at a great place in their marriage, what would you say to do this encouragement and advice? If you could tell them to do anything, and they'd listen, what would you say? Oh, I don't know, I feel like it's so hard, because I feel like we all kind of get to that point where we'd love to end something like, but I'd say number one, like, remember the covenant you made with the Lord in your marriage, it's like, till death do you part, like, that, that means something. Yeah, and it means something to the Lord, like, not again, like, again, there's people that go through divorce and that kind of thing for various reasons. But I would just say, maybe take step back and take a look at yourself and kind of think about like, well, what am I adding to this? Yeah, what am I doing? That's

kind of maybe adding to the dysfunction or, because I feel like a lot of times we don't want to own our own part. And so if you're actually doing the work, like, to become self-aware, and whatever else, like, I think it'll be easier for you to be like, Okay, hey, this is, this is a habit that's not, that's not good. And I need to work on that. Because when you realize like, what you're adding to it, like, then you can fix it, versus like, you can't fix your spouse. So maybe just take a look in the mirror yourself and just kind of see, what are you doing? Like, are there any things that you could change in order to make your marriage better? Yeah, what I would say is just like, again, you chose your spouse for a reason, like there was something wonderful in them, you can't control them, you can't fix them. I would say do everything you can, there's some things that you can do, you can get to church every single week. If your marriage is struggling, non negotiable, but we got basketball practice. We're literally not going to basketball practice, but we, she's on cheer team. What I would say is, is your daughter's cheer more important than your marriage and your daughter having a mom and dad who love each other like every single week? That seems rigid, but it's like getting your spouse and yourself in front of God in a place that they can be convicted, that they can be encouraged, that they can be reminded of what they do. Like for me, your marriage is struggling every single week. Like literally, it's like altering your schedule. We're gonna be on vacation. Come home on a Saturday so you can get to church

for the sake of your marriage. That's like, I just, that'd be my number one thing. And then secondly, pray for your spouse. If they don't wanna pray with you, pray for them every single day. Not that they would change, but that like pray for them to be blessed, pray for them to be encouraged. And then just like what Becky said, self-awareness. Like where am I getting in a rut? Well, they always do this and they always do that. Well, what am I doing? Like what am I bringing to the table? And then, you know, marriage counseling. Again, I would just put it on the schedule. I even, a couple of weeks ago, I just challenged a friend. Hey, I'm gonna reach out to you in a few days to see if you've scheduled a marriage counselor. Like just, it's just do it. Don't kind of like think about it. Well, they're gonna do it and whatever. No, just schedule an appointment and get it on the schedule. I would say that. And then just surrounding yourself with other couples. We just start believing the lie. Like, oh, it's only my wife. It's only my husband who's like this. And then you get around other couples and they're just like, oh my gosh.

Like, and they're honoring this. So they're not tearing their spouse down, but they're just really sharing candidly about their marriage. Every time I hear that, I'm encouraged. Like even when we go out like on double or dates or triple date nights and you hear other couples interact, you're just like, oh my gosh, we're not the only ones who are trying to figure out money. We're not the only ones trying to figure out like annoyed with each other. And it's just, I feel like those things are so encouraging where we just start believing the lie that like my life would be better if I wasn't with her and I was with her or my life would be better if I was with him. Well, and you're gonna find what nothing is gonna, it's not somehow gonna be better when you move on to somebody else because you're just bringing all of your junk with you. And so if you're not dealing with it right now, like it'll just be the same thing over and over and over. That's so good. And for again, there's zero judgment, but you see that person who's gone on to their second marriage and then even their third marriage. And it's just like this really doesn't fix things. Obviously there's the exceptions to the rule where there's something abusive, run. Or someone is just really,

I mean, there's just a horrible addiction situations where it's like, gosh, we've tried everything. Again, zero judgment. But I think the norm is, no, you're just two human beings and life happens every single day. And you wanna stay with the person that you've promised your life to. Any other closing pieces of advice or wisdom when it comes to marriage? I don't know. For the person who says, oh, well, you guys have a perfect marriage. You would say. No. So it's like, this is kind of dangerous. No, I like. But people think we do. So. Well, yeah, no one has a perfect marriage. I mean, like nobody does. Like you're believing a lie if you think that someone else has a perfect marriage. Like either they're in denial or you're in denial. I don't know. Like nobody's perfect. Yeah. But it's a pretty cool gift. Like I just look at our, one thing that our families have done well is marriage. And it's not a norm.

Every, in my grandparents, my mom's parents had a wonderful marriage. My dad's parents, maybe not as much, but they were just committed to each other through thick and thin. But then I look at both of our parents and they're far from perfect, but they have just had a great marriages. And I just hope that's something we can pass on to our kids as well. Well, I'd say too, like if you do have kids, like you guys, you're on the same team. You're not on opposing teams. Yeah. And especially with kids, like I know ours will like try and single us out. Like for some reason, our youngest thinks I'm always gonna say yes and you're always gonna say no. So it's like, don't be on opposite teams. Like you're on the same team. And I would say, remember that for everything even, because I'll forget that sometimes and think that you're like against me or something like that. And so just remember that you're on the same team. Like you're not like going against each other. Thank you guys so much for joining us again today for Life Between Sundays. Adam, if you had to just give one.

piece of advice for maybe a newly married couple. Oh, geez. What was one thing that you would say? Keep pursuing your spouse, like keep pursuing your spouse. Four words. And then I have one more thing. I would say get, have close couple friends who love Jesus. Like just that you can hear them share the good, bad, and otherwise. Because honestly, my hope with this episode is hopefully we shared kind of an unpolished version of our marriage. And I think one of the most encouraging things is like, oh, we're not the only ones. We're not the only ones who argue. We're not the only ones who stress or have obstacles come up. So that was two. That's okay. We'll take it. Thanks to Becky for being willing to come on camera and be interviewed. Thanks to our partners, First Interstate Bank and Vernity Motorcars. We couldn't do this without you. So thank you so much. And last but not least, thanks to all of you who listen in. We're so grateful for you.

Thanks guys.