I'm Tired of Y'all // Human-ology Part. 2 // Dr. Dharius Daniels

In a series here called Humanology, and for those that have an interest in this, it's really, what we're really exploring is a branch of systematic theology called Christology, but as opposed to focusing on, here's a Christian claim. The Christian claim is very simple, Jesus is not half God and half man. He was 100% God and 100% man, but much of the conversation about Jesus is on his divinity. What we're doing is we're exploring over the next several weeks his humanity, because God became a human not to show a human how to become a God, but to show a human how to be a human as God intended. And so this isn't a series on humanism, but it is a series on humanology. So in Matthew chapter number 17, we're going to see an aspect of the humanity of Jesus that we can learn from. Matthew records these words, when they came to a crowd, a man approached Jesus and knelt before him. Lord have mercy on my son, he said. He has seizures and is suffering greatly. He falls into the fire or into the water. I brought him to your disciples, but they could not heal him. I want you to look at verse 17, because this is your Jesus talking here, okay? This is your lily in the valley, bright and morning star, wheel in the middle of the wheel, Jesus. Watch what he says in verse 17. You unbelieving and perverse generation, Jesus replied, how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Got a little quiet in here. Bring the boy here to me. And Jesus rebuked the demon and it came out of the boy and he was healed at that moment. The clause of concern is found in verse 17, where the text records Jesus saying these words, you unbelieving and perverse generation, how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? We're going to stop the reading of scripture there and we're going to talk from this subject in our time together, family. I'm tired of y'all. I felt a little tension in this section over here. I'm going to try it again. I'm tired of y'all. Come on, clap your hands. If you're ready for God's word, I'm tired of y'all. This passage teaches a powerful principle for those who are serious about their spiritual formation. And this principle can be articulated in the following axiom. Here it is. You will not can be articulated in the following axiom. Here it is. You will not be able to properly experience deep spiritual formation if you don't effectively manage relational frustration. Relational frustration family is a result of the accumulation of irritation, miscommunication, unmet expectations, and underappreciation. It is a normal human reality that the enemy wants to weaponize so that we are turned up, set off, and crashed out in a way

that undermines our influence, compromises our credibility, and plunders our peace. I'm simply suggesting that if the enemy can get you to mismanage the impact of what people do to you, he can undermine the impact of what God wants to do in you. And God's goal for the believer is not just to fix us, it is to form us. God's desire and design isn't just simple behavior modification. God's desire and design is spiritual transformation. And modification changes something. To change something is to transform something. Transformation or formation changes everything. It is the process by which God cultivates Christ-likeness in our character, in our conduct, in our capacity. It is actually the ultimate upgrade. It is a godly glow up. It is a kingdom come up that enables and empowers us to become someone we could not become before, and to behave in ways we could not behave in ways, and to behold things we could not behold before. See, spiritual formation, as God intended, doesn't just make things better, it makes things new. And why would you settle for better when new is available? Am I talking to anyone who has an appetite? for more than simple modification, but you've got an appetite for complete transformation. I don't want just a better relationship, God give me a new one. I don't want just a better mind, give me a new one. I don't want just better peace, give me new peace. I don't want just better focus, give me new focus. And I pray over you a prophetic proclamation captured by Isaiah in the Old Testament when he says these words, forget the former things, do not dwell on the past, see or behold, I'm doing a new thing, now it springs up, do you not perceive it? God I pray that you would push us into a season called new. But new is on the other side of spiritual formation and I cannot experience deep spiritual formation if I don't effectively manage relational frustration. And the text that we just read here in Matthew is an amazing example of what I'm attempting to articulate. Matthew begins by offering us some interesting insight into an experience that Jesus has. In chapter 17, the Bible says in verse 1, this is interesting, that Jesus took Peter, James, and John and led them up to a high mountain by themselves. Now this mountain is what some call the Mount of Transfiguration. It's not the name of the

mountain. The Bible doesn't give us the name of the mountain. The Bible does give us the names of people he took with him to the mountain. It's verse 1, am I in the book? Peter, James, and John. But that's not only what the text says. The text says he took Peter, James, and John, look at the text, by themselves. What does that mean? It means that he took Peter, James, and John, that's three, but he did not take the other nine. Are you, stay with me, are you here? Okay, so Jesus has nine mentees or apprentices, 12 mentees or apprentices called disciples. But Matthew says when he went up to an elevated place, some scholars say Mount Tabor, some say Mount Hermon. When he went higher, he didn't take 12, he took three. You got it. I'm gonna go to this side. I said Jesus had 12 individuals he did life with and invested in and developed and poured into, but when he went to an elevated place, he did not take the 12, he took three. These three are what some church historians call the inner circle. They call these three the inner circle because when he went to this high place where he transfigured, and transfiguration here doesn't mean Jesus became somebody else, it means he disclosed what he already was that other people didn't get to see. Are y'all with me right here in this seventh row? I said he didn't become someone else, but when he got to an elevated place, at an elevated place, he disclosed an aspect of his existence that you can't see at a low place. And some people would do better if they would recognize that there's a version of you that they would be exposed to if they would stop talking so low and thinking so low and behaving so low. They're causing you to shrink down to the level of their dysfunction instead of elevating up to a revelation of all that that is on the inside of you. There is more to me than you see. So when he's in this high place, he takes these three, he models something that you gotta master if you're gonna reduce your relational frustration. He models relational intelligence. He knows who to take where. That people should be loved equally, treated justly, but positioned strategically. They missed it, Ken. They missed it. People, as an image-bearer of God, should be loved. I'm talking about agape. Should be loved. You don't filet-o

everybody equally. Hopefully you don't air-ross everybody equally. Anyway, you see, agape, you should love everybody equally, treat everybody justly, but position them strategically. Jesus models this for us. Because sometimes we've got relational frustration not because of people's performance We've got relational frustration because of our positioning The problem isn't who they are. They've always been who they are. The problem is where you put them based on who you wanted them to be So you carried them to a place? Because you have affection for them But they have not demonstrated the fruit or the character traits that display they can responsibly manage that level of access So he takes Peter James and John to this mountain table or Herman where he Transfigures, but he also where he displays he discloses his divinity But also in the garden of Gethsemane when he goes to the garden of Gethsemane he takes the same three Peter James and John because that inner circle can handle you on the mountain and in the garden Some people can handle the mountain, but they can't handle the garden Watch this and some people can handle the garden, but they get intimidated and jealous when you're on the mountain I know you could do all that I didn't You like the compartmentalized version of me you like the shrunken version of me You like the insecure version of me But when I disclose all of me now me being who I've always been becomes an issue So text says he He's on this mountain and When him Peter James and John to sin he runs into a frustrated father father's frustrated because the father has a son who has a sickness and the sickness is producing symptoms that are seizures the father Senses that the source of this sickness is actually spiritual Because he realizes you can have similar symptoms with different sources So when I'm suffering from symptoms My first prayer should not be deliverance. It should be discernment

Because the source determines the strategy Can I prove it to you Let's take something in Scripture like storms, which can be a metaphor for seasons of suffering. I Can show you in Scripture Old Testament character named Jonah Who runs into a storm on a boat? Because he does not do what God says Then I can take you to the New Testament and I can show you the disciples of Jesus who run into a storm Because they did do what God said So you got two people on boats in storms same symptoms Different sources am I making sense? So the father discerns this is spiritual in nature So it won't just be addressed by us adjusting things practically We got to address this spiritually so what he does is remember Jesus is on the mountain So what does he do? He takes his son to Jesus's people I mean everywhere he'd go there you are when people try to get to Jesus you all in the way You stopping children from getting to Jesus and Jesus having to say suffer the little children to come unto me for theirs is the kingdom of God What part of mass is trying to get to Jesus you telling him in Mark 10 be quiet Jesus is trying to get to you Jesus is trying to get to you Jesus is trying to get to you What part of mass is trying to get to Jesus you telling him in Mark 10 be quiet Well since you've been with Jesus and you're under his mentorship and you're under his tutelage help my boy And you got nine disciples Nine of them Nine disciples that are unable to successfully Heal one sick boy If they got two hands each there's 18 hands 18 hands and I'm not gonna bother this but the father made assumptions. He made assumptions based on association

He assumed because they were with him they were like him He assumed you're with him, you're like him, not realizing that some people are with him because of admiration, not emulation. So they want to be with him for who he is, but they don't want to become like him. So Jesus come down from the mountain and he run into a frustrated father. The father walk up to Jesus and listen to what he says. He says, I brought my son, he didn't say their names, your disciples. But they, plural, all them hands could not heal him. Now I want you to notice something here. Jesus didn't fail the man, but the disciples failure becomes Jesus's responsibility. Did you hear what I just said? This is, I'm not going to bother this, this is the way to leadership. For everyone that's praying for promotion and praying for increased influence and praying for God to scale and praying for God to bless it and praying for God to multiply, here's what you need to be ready for. You need to be ready for taking responsibility for somebody else's irresponsibility or incompetence. You need to be ready for being the object of frustration when it comes to something you didn't even personally fail at. You need to be ready to have to do more work because they didn't work right. He says, he says, uh, I brought him to your disciples and they couldn't heal them. Notice this now, verse 17, Jesus didn't say anything to the father. He better than me. Ain't he? He better than you. I've been lying. Now, first of all, I just got here. I've been on a mountain. Relax. What happened? What's your name?

He says nothing to the father. Look at the text. This is ownership. Not my fault. My responsibility. God. He looks at the disciples. And he says, you unbelieving and perverse generation. Now don't sanitize the scriptures. Let's just read. Don't sanitize the scriptures. You robbed the scriptures of its richness. We try to sanitize it. Look at what he says next. How long shall I stay with you? Then he says, how long shall I put up with you? Now I'm not going to bother. He probably wanted to say, now that's why I didn't take you to the mountain. That's why you wonder why I didn't go. Why you don't take me to? This is why I don't take you. Why can't I? This is why. Don't sanitize it. Read it objectively. So you read it with integrity. This is frustration. It is frustration. You're Jesus. The lily of the valley is frustrated.

The bright and morning star is frustrated. Lawyer in a courtroom is frustrated. Doctor in a sick room is frustrated. Can I summarize and concretize the essence of what Jesus is articulating in these few words? He's saying, I'm tired of y'all. This is relational frustration and frustration very often is a result of failed expectations. It means you found something you didn't expect or you didn't find something you did expect. It's failed and Jesus here is frustrated not because he has unrealistic expectations, because he's a perfect man. So his expectations are not unrealistic. He knows what you're capable of because he gave you your capability. So this isn't unrealistic expectations and when you try to hold some people to a standard they call you extra. Here it is. Here it is. Let me show you why Jesus's expectations were reasonable. We're in chapter 17 right? I said we're in chapter 17 right? We're in chapter 17 right? Okay would you agree that chapter 10 is before chapter 17? Okay let me show you something in chapter 10. Chapter 10 says Jesus called his 12 disciples to him and gave them authority to drive out impure spirits and heal. I'm drinking some water. How many? How many? Twelve. Not three, twelve. So all twelve had authority, excusia, delegated authority, divine authorization to act on behalf of another. So he upset and he's frustrated because he's saying now listen in chapter 10 I gave you the authority to be able to do this and now here we are seven chapters later and not one of y'all, it's nine of y'all, not one. So he calls them unbelieving. Is that what it, he's unbelieving. So this is, we don't know exactly what he means here but he could mean, here's just two things to consider. Maybe he means unbelieving in the sense of there's missing faith. Meaning you sat and you shook your head while I was doing all of this talking and you were sitting there, oohing and aahing, all of this teaching I was doing and left me and didn't believe any of it because you were oohing what you didn't think you would have to use. You had no intention on ever having to put into practice what

I was actually teaching you so you heard what you never chose to believe. Maybe he meant missing faith, I don't know, or maybe he meant misplaced faith because remember this particular word here the writer uses is excusia. So this is not dynamis or dunamis which deals with dynamite or explosive capacity or ability. This word here is authorization. It's like the equivalent of a police badge. It's like okay, so it's either missing faith or maybe misplaced faith. That when you try to do this, you focus more on your ability than my name. Boy, if I had time, that you had misplaced faith because instead of leaning and depending and relying on the efficacy of my name, you overinflated your own ability, not realizing that that evil spirit does not respond to your talent. It doesn't respond to your degree. Come on here. It responds to my name. So you got misplaced faith because you think this works because of your work. So he calls them, watch this, he calls them unbelieving. Is that the text? And then he calls them perverse. Now here's what we teach at this church. Do not impose current contemporary meanings of words on biblical words because you can confuse what... The author meant when he said it with what we mean when we say it 2,000 years later. So for example, if I say in 2026, I don't know if people say this anymore, but if somebody says, I'm going to the crib, you think they going home. If you would have said in 85, I'm going to the crib, somebody thinks you got a baby. Because the language, the meaning or the way language is interpreted may drift with time. So when he says perverse, he's not saying perverted. That's not what he's saying. The word here means twisted, distorted, or misaligned. So he's not calling them bad, he's calling them bent.

He's saying the problem isn't my training, you twist it. So there's something in you that's so twisted it's making my training not take. Are you here? Okay, okay. So he says missing or misplaced faith or bent or twisted individuals. He's saying here something interesting. He's saying how long he's perceiving a pattern that's wearing on his patience because what you experience repeatedly you get tired of eventually. So here's what's interesting. What's interesting is not who Jesus was frustrated by, is that who Jesus actually is in his frustration. He's a perfect person. Which means he only makes perfect picks. Sit in a minute, are you following me? He's a perfect person, which means he picks perfectly. Yeah. But if he is the only perfect person that ever existed, this means that the pool of people he's got to pick from are imperfect people. So which means this, there's always gonna be something wrong with the right pick. Yeah. So if a perfect Jesus, are y'all okay? If a perfect Jesus, who's a perfect picker, had people in his relational life that caused him relational frustration,

what makes us think as imperfect people, now let's be honest about your track record, with imperfect picking, why is it quiet? Okay, who's gonna be honest enough to say, now, pastor, I need prayer for my picker, because these people I'm hiring, these people I'm dating, these people. Okay, let me try this. Is there anybody honest enough to say, I need prayer when it comes to my picking? Respectfully pray for me. Amen. What am I doing? I'm normalizing the inevitability of relational frustration. I'm not encouraging you to tolerate relational dysfunction, but I am articulating to you that you cannot avoid relational frustration. So even, watch this, there's gonna be something wrong with the right pick. So even when you pick the right wife, uh-huh. Even when you pick the right husband, uh-huh. Even when you hire the right person, uh-huh. Even when you go to the right church, uh-huh. There's going to be something wrong with the right pick. Amen. And when Christians do not understand this, they do not get discipled on how to actually properly respond to relational frustration. So now, as opposed to responding to the frustration

in a healthy way, they think something's unusual about the frustration, and they try to outgrow the frustration instead of being discipled on how to handle the inevitability of something being wrong with the right people. Amen. My spiritual formation does not exempt me from relational frustration. My spiritual formation equips me to handle my frustration the way Jesus. handled his it is inevitable and to be surprised by the inevitable is to be naive boy if I had time I had time see when we're not discipled in this you don't have the discernment to distinguish between Peters and Judas's because both of them frustrate you but one you need to let walk the other you to keep did you hear what I just said yep yep watch this Peter had a bad day Judas had a bad heart one you let walk the other you go get go tell the disciples and Peter am I in the book because some people they imperfect but they were fighting for broken but they were fighting for bruised but they were fighting for traumatized but they were fighting for made some mistakes but they were fighting for they worth investing in because you may get to a season in your life where you get a return on your investment boy I wish I could preach this the way that I feel it I remember when I first picked up my wife for our first date I was in a two-door hunter-green Chevy Tahoe we went to Chick-fil-a and I couldn't let the window down because the electric window wouldn't work had to open the door reach outside and get the chick-fil-a she like chicken nuggets with Polynesian sauce y'all aren't talking to me in here today did you hear what I just said didn't have two nickels to rub together couldn't afford a cell phone I had a pager y'all don't know about that 9-1-1 me I had a beeper but she saw

something in me her mama saw something in me her daddy saw something in me I think she's doing all right now some people worth keeping we got to be discipled on how to properly handle wrong things with the right people because there's three ways to handle relational frustration the first way is cultures way and cultures way is to express this is undisciplined unloving and irresponsible emotional expression that values getting a release over a resolution so I say whatever makes me feel better even if it make you worse and my attitude of entitlement encourages me to be irresponsible emotionally because I feel like if you didn't do what you did to me you wouldn't deserve what I'm doing to you that's cultures way that's the Express y'all okay is a little if I look we good all right so I say pray for me Bishop pray for me all right here it is then there's churches way churches way is to suppress it is silent surface love I can't stand this spiritually disguise avoidance it's passivity dressed up as peace you know there's an issue you try to broach and address the issue and then they give you religious rhetoric and church colloquialism hey is everything okay I feel like we're off no everything's fine praise the Lord God bless Jesus is good blessed and highly favored then there's the Kingsway church churches way that word piece it Jesus clearly distinguishes in the New Testament the kind of peace he intends to bring into the life of the believer and he distinguishes it from the peace that people experience in culture he literally says my peace I bring to you not peace like the world gifts he says so I want to give you something that's qualitatively different than what you get it's a fruit of the Spirit many you only get this when you get my spirit and that kind of peace isn't fragile it doesn't avoid conflict the only way to it is through a tunnel called truth so when Jesus said I did not come to bring peace I came to bring a soul He wasn't talking about the kind of peace that he came to give, he was talking about

this inferior, cultural, fragile peace that people often operate in, in avoidance of conflict. And what this leads to is the accumulation of resentment. So first way leads to wounds. Second way leads to resentment. First way, you wound them. Second way, you wounding you. Because there is not the articulation of how this has impacted you, nor how this impacted you practically and emotionally, and what happens is now there's the accumulation of resentment over time. And what happens is when you live second way so long, eventually when it come out, it come out first way. Let me go ahead and say this now while I got control over how I say this, because if I let this accumulate, it might come out a little first way. And don't you act like you forgot how to speak first way. This is my section today. I'm done. They tired, Tarrio. There's the King's way. And the King's way is kind, considerate, candid communication of what you're facing, what you feel, and what you like fixed. This is what I'm facing because of what you did. I came down from the mountain, and now I got to do more work because you didn't. This is what I'm facing. This is how I feel. How long do I have to stay with you? How long do I have to put up with you? And what you won't fix, bring the boy to me. That's third way. Not just what I'm facing, what I'm feeling. I need you to understand the emotional impact your irresponsibility had on me.

Now I'm questioning things about me I wouldn't dare question. Are y'all okay? Now I'm struggling in areas that I wouldn't struggle. This is the emotional impact you had on me. I'm a human. And you're upset that it upset me. And you need to be concerned when your words don't. Because that means I no longer care what you think. Praise God that you hurt my feelings. Praise God that I care enough about your opinion that it actually carries weight, that it hurt my... You mad that it hurt my feelings? Be glad. Y'all okay with this kind of teaching? Can't shout over this, can you? You got to do something with it. How about no, you got to do something with this. Jesus is third way. And what is it? Number one, here's what this means. Let's wrap up, Tario. It is, he is clear without being cruel. He was direct enough to cut through the confusion, but restrained enough not to cut the person down. His truth, he speaks truth, but he doesn't weaponize the truth because it's actually held inside of a commitment to the person's redemption. He's not just trying to release his frustration. He's trying to reveal something to the person. He's not trying to make them sad. He's trying to make them clear.

Number two, he makes the issue the enemy, not the individuals. Notice remember he says faithless and perverse, but he didn't say faithless and perverse people, did he? He said faithless and perverse generation. Not just speaking to an age range, but speaking to all ages that are impacted by a certain era. He said, your issue is you're being influenced by an age and an era that has shaped you into unbelief and into perversity. So the issue is what's influencing you. So what he does is he actually identifies the problem and the, and so what happened is now the people both get to attack the problem instead of people attacking each other. And the enemy wants us to make people the problem. So you attack the person instead of the problem. The number three, this is for every leader and every parent. Every leader, every parent. He dealt with his disappointment without stopping the development. After he does all that rebuking, in verse 19, the disciples came to him in private and they say, why couldn't we cast it out? And Jesus said, you have little faith. And then he starts talking to them about mustard seed. So he explains faith to them because they're probably thinking that, they're probably thinking about the size of their faith instead of the strength of their faith. So it's like, it's not size, it's strength. So he said, if you got, it's small, but it's mustard seed, you can move mountains. So when they come to him, he didn't say, I'm done with you.

He didn't say, I'm tired of you. I'm not gonna teach you anymore. Watch this, he discerned that they were worth investing in. Watch this, leaders, look at him. He discerned, I'm gonna train the many, but it's only gonna take with a few. And maybe if we take this beyond leadership, maybe we just, we go to parenting, right? There are gonna be times where you're making investments, lessons, exposure, schools, conversations. And sometimes you're gonna see harvest that's not consistent with the seed you planted. The question is, are you gonna allow the disappointment to cause you to disengage? Disappointment is an emotion. Disengagement is a decision. And it doesn't mean you don't allow repeated patterns to inform you so that you don't continue to make unwise investments. But what I am saying is that the initial reaction and response should not be any emotional one that's driven by disappointment. But a love that says, somebody kept investing in me. And I'm gonna keep investing in you. And my investment in you isn't tied to an outcome. It's tied to my commitment to give to you the same kind of generosity God gave to me. And I know sometimes as leaders, for those of you that lead in this room, I know sometimes as leaders, you feel like,

man, I'm gonna leave and I'll make these investments and then they're gonna leave. There's an axiom I heard John Maxwell say years ago, and it is one that I live by, not just in leadership, but in life. He said, the only thing worse than developing people and they leave is not developing them and they stay. Look at me. At some point, you're gonna walk into a job you are so grateful for. You, God, I'm grateful for it. You're gonna walk in there and you may not say it verbally, but in your soul, you're gonna look around and say, I'm tired of y'all. You're gonna walk into the room of children you prayed for and say, I love you more than anything on this earth, more than God himself. I got a revelation of the Father's love when you came into my life, but I'm so tired of telling y'all to clean up this room. I'm tired. If Jesus dealt with relational frustration, it means our relational frustration isn't a result of immaturity. Some of it is just humanity. It is inevitable and I wanna free you from the illusion that you're gonna live life without it. There's something wrong with the right pick and may the actions of Jesus be a picture of possibility for you and me to be clear, but don't be cruel,

to make the issue the enemy, not the individual. And to not allow my disappointment to stop my development. You're worth investing in. And let's be true. Let's be honest. You're not just frustrated with some people. Some people are frustrated with you too. I've done my best as I do each week to take truth. I wanna be biblically faithful, make it highly practical. So maybe you're here and maybe you're hearing what I'm saying and it's understandable and it seems doable. I wanna offer a caveat. You can't do anything I just taught. These are godly principles, but you can't do godly principles without God's power. May he cause. His face of favor to shine up on you. May he be gracious to you. May he protect you. May he provide for you and above all else May he grant you peace. This is my prayer for your life in Jesus name. Amen