If I Can’t Have It, No One Can
In this sermon fromKilling You Softlyon the seven deadly sins, this message on envy shows how comparison, greed, and jealousy can rot the heart and turn us against the very people we love. We’re invited to put envy to death by laying down our image, surrendering our expectations, and choosing celebration over comparison.This message will help you:
- understand how envy grows from comparison, greed, and jealousy
- identify what envy is doing beneath the surface of your heart
- learn how to lay down identity, control, and expectation before Jesus
It's so good to be with you celebrating on Palm Sunday. My name is Patrick. I'm the campus pastor down in Salt Lake City. And so we love you all the way from Salt Lake. And we're so glad to be up here with you today and joining in with everybody online. And today it truly is gonna be a Palm Sunday celebration, but I wanna ask you if you would, as an act of celebration, let's stand to our feet. We're gonna read God's word together. I just wanna honor this moment. We're gonna jump into Matthew 21, and we're gonna read the Palm Sunday, triumphal entrance of Jesus. And I want this word, this scripture, to just begin to elevate the expectation you have for Jesus moving here today in your life and in this room and what he's gonna do to everybody watching online. I believe that he has something powerful and victorious that he wants to do, and it's gonna start right here. And so we're gonna celebrate in this scripture together. Matthew 21, verse six says, "'The disciples went and did just as Jesus directed them.'" And I felt led just to pause right here for a moment and encourage you that God wants to work through your obedience. He wants to use your yes to do something that's gonna change the course of your life, those who you love, the world around you. And so if maybe you've just been a little bit wrestling
with God about something, I just feel like I was prompted to tell you he's waiting on your yes, and he wants to use that to move, okay? Just a little something extra in the beginning, just a little something extra. Verse seven, "'They brought the donkey and the colt, and they laid their clothes on them, and he sat on them. And a very large crowd spread their clothes on the road, and others were cutting branches from trees and spreading them on the road. Then the crowds went ahead of him, and those who followed all shouted, "'Hosanna to the son of David! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord! Hosanna in the highest heaven!'' And I just wanna take a moment, church, can we just celebrate the triumphal entry of our Savior, of our King? Can we just shout, Hosanna, Hosanna, Hosanna, come this way, Lord Jesus, find in me a heart that celebrates your victory, Jesus. That's what we're here to do on Palm Sunday. Or you can grab a seat, hopefully you're sitting next to somebody that you like. If you don't like them, it's too late now, you're locked in. As a church, we've been in a season, in a series called Killing You Softly. And if you've been here,
you know we've been walking through the seven deadly sins, and it has been a ride. It's been a ride. I don't know about you, but each week I have left church realizing I am more jacked up than I realized. It's like, man, I'm a pastor, and I'm a sinner at the same time. What is happening here? I'm realizing in wrath, I'm more angry than I thought I was. In greed, I'm more greedy than I thought I was. In gluttony, I eat way too much all the time. Thank God we're fasting. And in lust, in all of these things, it's like you show up to church and you're like, not beat up, but just like understanding that there's a problem. It's been wild, and Pastor Levi has done such a beautiful job at helping us see how dangerous these sins can be when left unchecked in our lives. And so today on Palm Sunday, yes, this is a Palm Sunday message, but we also are gonna be talking about envy. And like, I don't know how that really connects. We'll get there, okay? Just hang with me. Don't walk out yet. We just need a little bit of time, all right? And so we're gonna jump into a little bit down the road
in the timeline before the crucifixion, but after Jesus' arrest, after the trial for entry, he's been arrested now and he's on trial. And so this is Matthew 27. We're gonna jump in here and we're gonna see really how envy comes to life. Matthew 27, 15. It says, at the festival, the governor's custom was to release to the crowd a prisoner that they wanted. At the time they had a notorious prisoner called Barabbas. So when they gathered together, Pilate said to them, who is it you want me to release to you? Barabbas or Jesus who is called Christ. And verse 18, this is gonna be our key verse for today. For he knew it was because of envy that they had handed him over. For he knew it was because of envy that they handed him over. Let's pray together. Jesus, we thank you for your triumph, for your victory. And we ask Lord that in these next few moments that we share in your word together, that you would open up our hearts and our minds to hear from you, to allow you to come in and. and move things around in the room, that you would move things around in our heart and that you'd create space for your spirit. God, we just wanna receive all that you have for us today. Would you use this time together in Jesus' name, amen.
Amen. Have you ever like, just been observing something and when you saw it, you realized, they almost had it, but they just did a little too much. It was just a little too over the top, a little too flavorful, a little too much salt, a little too much charisma, you know. There's like things in life that it's like, just, you just went one step too far, you know. Like just one step to the edge there. I think about something important in my life, Taco Bell. And one of the most perfect things on the planet, is the Chalupa. If you can't tell, I'm fasting. But Chalupa, it's crisp, it's fluffy, it's got like this crunch to it. And then when it's got the right ratio of fillings in it, it's just perfect. But Taco Bell, they did the thing. They did the gimmick, they bought in and they did one step too far. And maybe you've heard of it a while back, they did this thing, it was a monstrosity, an abomination unto the Lord. They called it the naked chicken Chalupa. And by your response, I can tell you don't know what that is. I'll explain. The naked chicken Chalupa is what they call a chicken breast.
Now we all know it was not chicken breast. We don't know if it's actually chicken, but it definitely wasn't a chicken breast. They batter it, they fry it, and they shape it into a taco shell to replace the traditional Chalupa shell. And then they put all of the taco seasonings and stuffings inside of that, right? And it's just one of those things where you're like, you already made something perfect and then you had to go and ruin it. Now, normally I'm all for fried anything, fried chicken, fried mushrooms. I don't even like mushrooms. You fry it, I'll eat it. But one step too far, Taco Bell, you messed up. Another thing that I think about one step too far is all of the live action remakes that are happening. It's like, can we just let our childhood live and breathe and be what it was? I don't need a slightly more realistic looking lion to sing and roar. I don't, I don't. The cartoon was enough. Simba was great as he was. I didn't need the CGI Simba, I didn't. And just recently, the live action Moana trailer came out. Again, Disney, one step too far. I don't know how it's possible, but somehow the Maui wig makes the rock look like a lion.
The Maui wig makes the rock look more bald. It's, I don't understand it. Too far, too far. And there's a lot of things in life that just like, just a little bit too much. When I begin to think about envy, I think it can operate the same way in our lives. We step into these areas where maybe we're already struggling. And what envy wants to do is it wants to drag us over the ledge to where it's just too much. And we find ourselves in unhealthy cycles and places. And so today I want to kind of walk us through how we can see envy walking and manipulating and using our emotions and our desires in a way that's pulling us from God and pulling us from what he's already provided and pushing us into what the enemy would want for us, which is to kill, steal, and destroy. Now, a modern definition, what we would normally see envy as and kind of define it as is sadness or jealousy at another's good fortune, their possessions, or happiness. And this is my title for today. In other words, it would be, if I can't have it, no one can. If I can't have it, no one can. Envy is one of these things that really historically has been identified as a much bigger deal
than what we kind of see in our world today, in our culture today. We kind of lump it in with like jealousy and greed. And it just, oh, I'm just, I'm so envious of you. We'll say that to a friend. We'll say that to someone we love. I'm just not really understanding that envy is much deeper and darker than just a passing, oh, I'm a little jealous here. It's actually, Socrates says, envy is having an ulcer inside your soul. An ulcer in your soul. And the Greeks, they would have identified an intense negative emotion like envy as something that would be. producing increased bile in your body, that it would actually cause you to be physically sick and ill. And they associated envy with the color green. And then again, Shakespeare, he calls envy the green-eyed monster. There's this idea around envy that creates like this sickening from the inside. But here in scripture, we actually see, it goes even deeper than that. In this verse in Matthew 27, this is Pilate passing judgment on Jesus. And he's not a believer. He's actually there as a government official to occupy and to rule and to oppress the Jewish people.
And him on the outside of the situation looking in, he can see and identifies what's actually at the root of the Pharisees arrest of Jesus and then pushing for him to be crucified. It's only out of envy. That's what it says in verse 18. He knew that it was because of envy that they had handed him over. And right there, that Greek word for envy that they're using in scripture, it actually is more closely related to the desire to pull down, to wither, or to decay. The counterpart to that in Hebrew and what we would see in the Old Testament as envy is being described is to burn up or to rot. We see it in Proverbs 14, 30. A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. The very framework of who we are, our bodies are being rotted from the inside when envy is allowed to go unchecked. It begins to create this infection in us that eventually will cause our whole framework of life to fall apart. And I said, we have some connection and understanding in our modern culture that would kind of connect envy to things like greed and coveting and jealousy. And so I kind of wanna walk through these really quickly and just talk about how they're connected, but really what they are is just an on-ramp to envy.
And so we've talked about greed in this series already and how dangerous it can be. And the action in greed is to clutch, to grab for more. I want more. I have this appetite for more. I have to keep on grabbing more and obtaining more for myself. And where greed begins to transition from greed into envy is when you have this heart that becomes from getting more to it's worth more to me than you are. The thing that I want, the thing that I'm envying, I desire it more than I value you. And that's a harsh reality sometimes to think about, but we can get into this cycle of just continuing to consume, consume, consume. I want, I want, I want, I want. And we don't even look at who we're taking from. Greed pushes us into a heart of envy. And then there's coveting. And what coveting is, the action here is to compare. And I think this is one of the biggest trends the biggest traps the enemy uses in our society currently to drag us into envy is for us to look at someone else and compare what we have to what they have. And before you know it, we're on this ice hill and we can't stop. Because comparison always puts us in a posture to be envious. You know, if you grew up playing sports at all, you know, in baseball, you always have the coach say,
ready in your ready stance, get in your ready stance. Knees bent, head up, glove down. You're ready to go, right? Whether you're in the outfield, you're in the infield, you're ready to catch the ball. If it's coming your way, you're ready for action. But when we allow comparison to develop in our lives, we start turning our back and envy swoops in. Comparison always postures us for envy. Like, well, you know, I don't really have that bad of comparison. I'm not really coveting things that bad. Here's a little practical way that comparison can develop in our lives. You know, you're scrolling through Instagram or Facebook, or maybe you're on TikTok, and then you see that person post, right? You know that person, you know, that one. And they're on another vacation. They're on another awesome trip, doing other things. amazing things with amazing people. And what's the first thought that hits your mind? It's, oh, I hope it rains. I hope they get a flat tire. I hope that their credit card gets frozen. Just something, please, Jesus. You're like, you can even just a little, just a little jab in there, right? And that's envy moving from comparison
into further deceit. There's jealousy. The action here is to keep. It's actually a defensive desire. Now, jealousy, it doesn't necessarily have to be bad. Jealousy can be good or bad, depending on your heart posture. Like, well, you know, I don't know about that. Well, the Bible describes our God as a jealous God. And if it's a characteristic of the creator, then it's a good thing in the right context. God's jealousy actually is for you. It's for me. It's for the space in our heart, for him to be able to take the throne of our heart, and he's willing to do whatever it takes to make space for that, should we choose to receive him. That's a good thing, that he's willing to defend his kids, his son, his daughter. I'll fight for you. You know, I have a jealousy for my wife. I'm willing to protect my marriage. I don't want anything to come in between her and I. I want there to be complete unity in our relationship. And so I will distance myself. I will set up boundaries and defenses in order to protect the thing that I love the most. It's a good thing. Where jealousy becomes unhealthy and leads us into sin is when we go from protecting mine to assaulting yours.
Say, I want mine, and I want mine so bad that I'm gonna attack you to keep it. And if that means I gain what you got, good for me. And it begins to drive us outside of saying, God, thank you for what you gave me. I wanna be a good steward of it. And two, I'm gonna continue to try to consume. I'm gonna continue to take what I feel entitled to. And we see that greed is clutching, coveting is comparing, jealousy is to keep, but envy kills. Envy kills. It actually is dehumanized destruction. We learned when Pastor Levi was teaching us on how to defend and fight against lust in our lives, that much like lust, envy will dehumanize and devalue those who are being envied. It goes from, I just want that thing to I hate that you have it and I don't. It objectifies people. It objectifies accomplishments and puts it into a place that I will have this at all costs. It's kind of funny, but it's a perfect example that really any of us can become Smeagol. We can all find ourselves ready to choke and kill the person and the thing that we love just because providence put the ring in their hand and not ours. And before you know it, you're left in the wake, living a life of regret, of frustration,
of hurt and hopelessness, because envy dehumanizes and destroys. It has the potential to turn you and I into a killer. And it starts here in our heart and those little thoughts and judgments over Instagram, those little thoughts and judgments as we observe the world around us. And then it begins to move into our deeds and our actions as we actually begin to go after and take what is ours. It's another great depiction in the Christian bell, Batman with Heath Ledger as Joker. And Alfred says like some men just wanna watch the world burn. Like when we get to this place of envy and I can't have it, nobody else can, I'm willing to burn the whole house down. You're like, well, I don't know. I don't know that I'd be willing to go to the place of murder. I don't know that I'd be willing to go to the place in my heart of even beginning to think about harming somebody or hurting somebody or taking somebody that didn't belong to me. I don't know. But when we allow these thoughts and these patterns to begin to develop that envy has its way in us and we take one step too far, it accelerates much faster than we think it ever could. There's an example in 1 Kings chapter three. And this is a crazy instance where King Solomon has set up.
the availability for the people of Israel to come and be counseled. He's the wisest being to ever live. He's got this wisdom that's a gift from God. And so he allows the people to come before him and say, hey, we've got this thing and we can't figure it out. We need you to pass judgment. We need you to share your wisdom so that way we can figure this out. And so these two women come before Solomon and they say, the first one steps up, she says, we live in this home together. It's just the two of us. And we both became pregnant. At the same time, we both gave birth to our babies just days apart from each other. And again, just the two of us in the home. And one night in the middle of the night, she rolled over on her baby boy and smothered him and he died. And sometime in that she woke up and she realized what she had done. And so she took her baby and placed him in my arms and took my child. And when I woke up, I panicked. I thought, oh my goodness, what happened? And then I realized by looking at her baby, like only a mother can, she sees this isn't my son. And she realized what had been done that she had switched the children.
And so she comes to Solomon and says, she won't give my son back. I need you to help us. That way I can have my child. And the other woman, of course, object. She says, no, no, no, no, her son died. She's distraught. This is my baby. My son's the living son. Solomon does something kind of crazy. He says, okay, hey, somebody bring me a sword. So they bring the king a sword. He says, okay, place the child here. We'll divide them in two. Then that way you can have half and she can have half. Problem solved. And of course the mother of the child that was alive, she immediately begins to panic. Said, no, no, no, no, please, please don't. She can have him. She can raise him. She can keep him as her own. Just please don't kill my baby. The other woman speaks up. She says, fine by me, divide them in two. Because if I can't have them, nobody can. And this seems like an intense and exaggerated moment. And of course, grief does crazy things to our hearts and to our lives. But I'll share with you,
my wife and I, we've been married for some time and for nearly half of our marriage, we have been on this journey for fertility. Believing God would bless us with a child, doing all that we can to be healthy and to make the right choices and live the right lifestyle and to do everything that we can to position ourselves to receive the blessing of a child from God. We're not there yet. We're still believing, still fighting for it. But when you are walking through a season that's as long as the one that we've been in, it's been over seven years now that we've been believing for God to do this for us, that you begin to see your mind go to crazy places. And the hard part of this isn't just the fact that we don't have the thing that we desire most in this world. The hard part is to watch the people in our lives continue to move forward. And it feels like we're left behind, that they're walking ahead with the thing in their arms that we've desired for so long and we don't get to see it yet. And you begin to think crazy things about the people you love most in this world. Like they don't deserve it. Like why not me? Like they should wait their turn. I would be a better parent than them.
You begin to allow things to enter into your mind, into your heart that you would never ever in other cases allowed to happen. And if you've ever wondered or a prolonged season of health issues, or you've been fighting for something or believing for God to bring a loved one to restoration or to salvation, like we all understand that in the waiting, in the struggle, in the chaos, it's painful and it's hard and that pain can lead you to envy. And if we leave it unchecked, we'll walk around being envious, murdering people, even if it is just a little bit. Even if it is just in our soul and our bones begin to rot. So I wanna share with you what I believe we can observe from the Palm Sunday story that actually is a direct attack on envy. This is how we're gonna kill the killer sin. These are attributes that we see in the scripture that we read of Jesus' triumphal entry into Jerusalem. We get to see him triumph over death and the grave and envy here. And the first thing that we see as Jesus is coming in is that people begin to lay down their cloaks. We get to see the cloak spread out before them. And in the culture at the time.
but the cloak, the robe, your garments, they signified who you were. This is how people identified you. This is the image that you upheld. And they just begin to cast these at the feet of Jesus. We have to allow our hearts to be at a posture where I'm gonna lay down my own image, my own status, the way that I'm represented in the world, the way that people perceive me, the things that I have, the possessions that I have, the feeling of being good enough or sufficient enough that all that is laid at his feet. When we lay the cloak of our lives, the identity that we're holding so tightly onto, the status that we fight for and the comparisons that we make, all of that gets laid down at his feet. The thing about when you wear your identity, when you're wrapped in the cloak of who you are, it doesn't matter if you've got the nicest or the newest. Because if you've got something that's tattered, if you feel like your life is worn in and it's broken down and you're missing so many things and you feel like life could be so much better just if I had this thing, then that's how your life will always be lived. In envy of the other robe. That's what happens with Joseph, right? Is that his brothers see the blessing on his life and it's because of envy they throw him into the pit
and then sell him into slavery. But even if you've got a nice robe, even if you've got everything together, even if you look nice, that thing's gonna fade eventually. Somebody else is always gonna have newer and nicer. And so if status is what rules us, then envy is what will lead us. Being received by the culture cannot supersede our reception of the King. Welcoming Jesus into the capital of my heart. We have to lay down our status. The second thing we see him lay down is the palm, the branches that they cut. And this branch, it wasn't just like a cool thing to do. I think if you grew up in church and around church, you've probably been at some point where everybody on Palm Sunday is waving the palm branch and it's cool and it's awesome. It's not just a thing that we do. It's because in the culture, it represented actually rebellion. It actually represented freedom from oppression. About 160 years before Jesus rides into Jerusalem, the Maccabees actually start a revolt and they win Jerusalem back from the Greeks. And this revolt was signified by the palm branch. People then begin to cut it down in every sense that they would press it into coins. And it became this symbol in their culture
that one day we're gonna be free from the Romans too. And so this symbol is them cutting down these palms and saying, Jesus has come to free us. And in their minds, they're thinking about their nation. They're thinking about the oppression of the Romans. They're thinking about their ability and the paradigm, the structure that they're living in right now. So many of us, we construct our own little kingdom. Our hearts are so focused on where our nation is at and what it's doing and how can I get ahead in the rat race? And I have to have this home by this time in my life. And I have to have this much in the bank account. And I have to have this planned out in the 401k. We begin to develop all of these plans and build their own kingdom in our own hearts. They didn't realize that Jesus wasn't just coming to free from the oppression politically, but he was coming to free their hearts from the pressure of the law and their own sin and their own wickedness. We're laying down the palms in front of Jesus saying, I'm gonna give you my plans. I'm gonna give you my plans. I'm laying it at your feet, Jesus. And thirdly, we see praise. They lay down their cloak, their palms, but then they lift up praise. What we're doing when we praise, when we come into this house and we lift up songs of praise and of worship,
what we're doing is we're celebrating. We're celebrating his goodness. We're celebrating his kindness. We're celebrating his holiness. We're saying, Jesus, you are worth this song. You're worth my life. And celebration is always the opposite of comparison. When we can allow the posture of our hearts to be, I'm so glad that you got blessed and not I'm so bitter, that becomes a praise unto God because he's the bestower of all blessing. Whether you think they realize it or not, whether you think you deserve more than they do, that doesn't matter. He's the one that decided. And so I'm gonna celebrate when we lift up praise, when we give Jesus. His rightful place, it puts envy in its place, under his feet. There's this beautiful tradition in Jewish culture. It's a song that they sing during the Passover Seder. It's called Dayenu. And it's this 15 stanza poem that they sing during the Seder. And it's this repetitive song where they sing of a blessing of God, of God working miraculously. They're remembering what he did and bringing the Israelites out of Egypt into the promised land.
And they'll hit one of these hallmark moments, you know, the plagues, the Red Sea, the manna. The manna. And after each one of these, they'll say, Dayenu, meaning it would have been enough. So God, if you had just sent the plagues to free us from Pharaoh, that would have been enough. If you had just split the Red Sea, that would have been enough. If you had just given us manna from heaven, that would have been enough. If you had just given us the Torah, that would have been enough. That's what praise does in our life. It says, Jesus, you coming for me, you being nailed to a tree, you laying your own life down, you giving it up for mine and then raising from the dead in victory and triumph, gifting me the gift of salvation, that's enough. That's enough. If I never receive another blessing, if I never have another material possession, if I never succeed in any other way, if I can just be called your son, if you can just be called your daughter, that is enough. Jesus is enough. This morning, if you've been battling in your heart with envy, with allowing these different areas in our life just to cause us to drift off into the ditch,
I wanna pray for you. And I wanna believe that what Jesus did and what we're celebrating in this season, that his death, burial and resurrection, that it is enough for you, it is enough for me. So Jesus, we ask, we ask that by the power of your Holy Spirit, by the power of your Holy Spirit, through your grace, that we would release the envy of our hearts, the places where we have not allowed you to be enough. And when we take up the victory of Jesus, which you come riding in to our hearts today, God, with the spirit of laying down our cloak and our status and our identity, God, would us laying down the palm of our plans and our paradigms be left at your feet. May the posture of our hearts be raised to see you glorified on your throne, victorious in every way over death and sin in the grave. And if you're in the room today and you feel an emptiness in your soul and you haven't had the opportunity to step into a relationship with Jesus, to receive that more than enough for your life, I wanna give you the opportunity to do that now. We're just gonna pray a really simple prayer. I just want you to repeat these words after me and everybody in the room is gonna pray with you and support you in this.
If you wanna step into this relationship with Jesus, I wanna encourage you to just pray these words right now. Jesus, I need you. My heart and my life are empty. I ask you to fill it now. I give you all that I am in exchange for all that you are. Would you be my Lord? Would you be my savior? Would you be enough for me? In Jesus' name.
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