Identity Insecurity | Cooper Seidman

Hello Hills Church preacher Rick here greeting our online family and everyone in person in one of our campuses in North Richland Hills or Keller West Fort Worth or Dallas Today, I am in Austin at Axiom Church one of our church plants visiting Josiah and Jessica Wiest I'm beginning my annual study break and I love to visit church plants Jamie and I will also be visiting our church plant in Seattle and in Portland and I'll be taking a few weeks to work on Future sermons. I'm really excited about so I love telling you about it when I get back keep me in your prayers But as always when I take my study break, I make sure we have great preaching while I'm gone For example in two weeks, it's communicator Sunday every service at every campus One of our members or ministers is going to be bringing a word Including my wife Jamie preaching her first sermon in Dallas. So keep her in your prayers and Today you're all in for a treat at every campus You're gonna hear a word from Cooper Seidman our newest minister on our staff now Some of you know him because Cooper was one of our interns last summer along with his wife Lexi She worked in the children's ministry and Cooper was my preaching intern It's his great desire to be a preacher someday. So we welcomed on staff earlier this month He's gonna be working in the next-gen area with students and with young adults He's gonna be helping us with discipleship curriculum and he's gonna be a part of the teaching team as he grows as a preacher I look forward to working with Cooper some of you remember that I worked 30 years ago with his father Chris He was my first preaching intern and I'm quite confident I could do a better job this time. And so would you welcome our newest minister on staff Cooper Seidman? Thank you, thank you And just to confirm to you he's doing an incredible job this time Hey Greetings Hills Church to any one of you in person at each of our four campuses and Keller West Fort Worth Dallas NRH or even online it is truly an honor and a great privilege to be with you this morning As was mentioned My name is Cooper Seidman and I'm a new minister on staff here at the hills And I just cannot even begin to express how excited and grateful I am to be with you here I am of course excited to share God's Word with you this morning but even more than that, I am just grateful and

Excited to get to that. This is my new church as Rick and I noted my wife and I both had the Opportunities to do internships here last summer and we had such a great experience of just getting to taste What it was like for this to be home That when we got the chance to come back we jumped at that opportunity And so we are so grateful to be here speaking of us doing our internships here Just in the name of you getting to know me a little bit better I've got a picture of our very small family behind me here So there in the middle is our dog Murph now just for clarity purposes Murph is a female dog But when six college roommates get a dog you name her Murph and so that's how she got her name And then there is my beautiful and a lovely bride Lexie a little bit about us Lexie is originally from Midland, Texas. I am originally from a suburb of Dallas called Coppell we met in the middle at Abilene Christian University go Wildcats and We have been married for just a little bit over a year now which means two really important things first is this I've learned everything I need to know about marriage and Second I can give all of you advice. And so I will be giving advice this morning Of course, I'm just kidding. I'm thankful that you laughed at that If there is if any if our first year of marriage has taught me anything it's that I really don't know as much as I thought I did and That I am going to need a lot of help along the way and the truth is it's not just marriage that has taught me that but life in general graduating from college moving to a new city and to a new home Starting a new job have all taught me that I really don't know as much as I thought I did and I'm going to Need a lot of help along the way which is part of the reason Lexie and I are so grateful That we get to call this place home because we know that the hills is a place that looks to the Holy Spirit who Jesus calls the helper and That this is a place that knows how to take care of its own and so grateful Doesn't even begin to describe the way that we feel

Now as I begin the sermon this morning, I'm thinking of something that Paul writes in first Thessalonians 2 in verse 8. He says this We loved you so much that we shared with you not only only God's good news, but our own lives too. And this morning, I'm gonna share with you some good news from God's word, particularly out of the Gospel of Matthew and Ephesians chapter one. But on our way there this morning, as we're still getting to know each other a little bit, I wanna share with you my own life as well. I wanna give you a window into my own life. And I'm gonna do that by telling you a little bit about the sermon writing process when Rick Ashley is your boss. So I accepted this position at the Hills earlier this past spring. And a few days after I accepted it, I got a text from Rick and it said, if your schedule allows, I would like for you to preach on June 28th. And of course, I was really excited. I knew I would get some preaching and teaching opportunities and as Rick said, it's my desire to be a preacher, but I just didn't think it would be this soon into my time here, just four weeks into my time here. And so as you might imagine, pretty much nonstop since I knew I was gonna be preaching on this date, I've been thinking about what I'm gonna preach about every day, every day.

What text am I gonna preach from? What topic do I wanna bring up? What great illustrations and stories can I tell? And of course, what jokes can I tell? And then I showed up for my first day of work and I was in the car with Rick and Rick said, you know, what do you think you're gonna preach on? And so I told him and he said, that's great. That's awesome. They're gonna love it. He didn't say that. He said, great. Have a manuscript on my desk by the end of the week. And so I was like, all right, here we go. It's my first day of work, my first week of work and I am cranking at this sermon. I'm getting the wording right. I'm getting my points going. I'm talking to Drew to see if Drew's got any stories that can help me bring this sermon home. I'm sending this sermon to my dad who's a preacher to see if he's got any notes for me. I mean, I am working on this sermon and I got it done. I finished it and I had it on his desk by the end of the week. And I was pretty proud of it. I mean, it was my first week of work. I thought it was a pretty good sermon. And then later that next week came time for the feedback conversation.

And I was so ready to hear his feedback because I was so proud of it that I tracked him down the hallway, followed him into his office and I said, hey Rick, you got any feedback for me? And he said, oh yeah. And he walked over to his desk and he picked up my sermon. He walked back to the door. And the only note on the entire sermon was a question written in red letters at the bottom of the first page. Why this sermon? And he said, this is a good sermon, but it's a sermon you turn into a professor, not one you preach when it's your first chance at your new church. And he was right. What I had written wasn't the right sermon for today. And it's not that the sermon wasn't founded on biblical truth, it was. It's not that the sermon wasn't challenging or encouraging. It's not even that the sermon wasn't engaging. I mean, I'm biased, but I think it was a pretty good sermon. It wasn't the right sermon because when I answered that question at the bottom of the page in red letters, why this sermon, my answer was actually quite simple. It was about me. The motivation behind the sermon had to do with me.

And my own insecurities. See, I thought that if I could just write the perfect sermon with just the right amount of stories and engaging illustrations, but simple and memorable points, and if it was a good sermon that was also challenging and encouraging, then maybe, just maybe, they'll approve of me. If I can preach just a good enough sermon, maybe they'll like me. I'll feel good about myself. And then I'll be satisfied. See, I've got what I might call identity insecurity, which by the way, should be obvious because I just spent the first 10 minutes of this sermon talking about myself. See, for as long as I can remember, I have struggled with tying my sense of who I am and what my worth and value are. up to what other people say and think about me because I struggle to stand secure and to believe what God has to say about me. And marriage and major life transition may have taught me that there is a lot in this life that I don't know, but one thing I do know is that tying your sense of self or value or worth up to anything other than the truth of what God has to say about you is a one-way ticket to exhaustion, despair, and sometimes destruction. And it is my hope and my prayer and my desire that you walk in the life that God has for you

and standing in the truth of who God says that you are as it is revealed in his word is a foundational piece to you doing that, which is why I wanna spend some time talking about identity this morning because something tells me I'm not the only one with a case of identity insecurity. Now, allow me just a moment to be clear. When I talk about identity insecurity, what I mean is the disordered ways that we find our sense of self, our sense of value, and our sense of worth. So for example, a couple of weeks ago, Rick talked about the struggle of approval addiction and the way that we tend to find our value and our worth and what others say and think about us, where the approval of others becomes the primary way that we find our value and worth, and that's one way that identity insecurity can manifest itself. That's the primary way it has manifested in my life, but it's not the only way. It can show up in our work and how successful we are, which can be things that some of us look to for our sense of worth or value or meaning. It can show up in our bank account where the number in our bank account becomes the source of our significance. While I'm not a parent, I'm told that it can show up in parenting. I've spoken to people who have raised children

and they've made me aware of the temptation to attach your sense of worth and value to how successful your children are in their careers, in the classroom, on the athletic field, or in even how well-behaved they are. For a parent who has identity insecurity, their children can become a place where they derive value and worth. It can even show up in religious settings where roles and positions and people's opinions of us and even spiritual practices can become ways in which we try to prove to others and to ourselves and sometimes to God how much we are worth. And the list can go on. Virtually anything that is a part of our life can become something to which we attach our identity to, something we find our sense of worth and value in. And it's not that it's wrong to receive affirmation or encouragement in things like parenting or our vocation. We need that affirmation and encouragement at times. It's just that we can so easily drift into letting those things become the primary place that we find our worth and our value. Those things can't become the primary place where we find our sense of worth or value or identity, because when they do, that's when they go from being gifts that God gives us to enjoy and to flourish in to being the very things that the enemy uses to enslave us. It's one way to become a workaholic.

It's one way to smother your kids or that relationship. It's one way you can hold a death grip. On your finances. And it's how you can hold the status of being a son or a daughter of the most high king, but live in his house like a slave to your endless search for value and worth. And the enemy rejoices, because if he can't keep you from following Jesus, then he'll do everything he can to ruin your walk with God by getting you to doubt what God says about you so that you'll go looking for your worth and value elsewhere. And I know this not just because I've lived it, but because he tried to do it to Jesus first. You see, at the end of Matthew chapter three, Jesus goes to the Jordan River to be baptized by his cousin John before any of his public ministry has started. And the scriptures tell us that when Jesus was baptized, and as he was coming up out of the water, the heavens opened and the Spirit of God descended upon him and God spoke with an audible voice saying, this is my dearly loved son who brings me great joy. Now, for a moment, I want you to notice what God doesn't say. He doesn't say, this is my dearly loved miracle worker, or my rabbi, or my teacher. He doesn't say, this is my sacrificial lamb.

He doesn't even say, this is my Messiah, my dearly loved savior. All of those things are true, but God doesn't point to them. God says, this is my dearly loved son. See, before Jesus does anything public, before he does any miracles, before he has any followers, before he becomes any bit of famous, God speaks to his identity as a son. In fact, you know what's interesting? Did you know that in Matthew, Mark, and Luke, the first three chapters of the New Testament, the only time that God speaks with an audible voice is to say of Jesus, this is my son? I hear stories all the time of people hearing from God. I know people who it feels like they have this open line of communication with God, and maybe you're like me, and you kinda wanna hear from God like that about some things in your life. You wanna get his crystal clear guidance and direction on some things going on, and at The Hills, we believe that he does that, but sometimes I just wonder if while I wanna hear from God about all these different things going on in my life, these stressors, these anxieties, and these decisions I have to make, all God wants to talk to me about first is his dearly loved son, Jesus. See, I wonder if there are some of you here today, and you've been looking for a word from God for your life. And I'm not a prophet, but might I suggest to you that what God wants to talk to you about the most,

and what he wants to talk to you about before anything else is his dearly loved son, Jesus? See, because according to John chapter one, it's actually Jesus who gives us the right to become children of God in the first place. And in the book of Hebrews, we are told that in these days, these days that we are living in, God has spoken to us by his son. And in Colossians three, we're told that the life of the Christian is actually hidden with Christ in God. See, God is continually directing our attention to Jesus. Jesus is God's favorite subject, and coming to know who you are in God actually begins by coming to know who Jesus is first. And the deeper you go into Jesus, the deeper the roots of your identity grow so that you can stand secure in who God says that you are. True identity, who you actually are, who you were made to be is found in Jesus, and the ability to stand secure in that identity comes through an ongoing relationship with him. But the enemy won't want you to have the security. He would rather have you stand insecure, which is exactly what he tried to do to Jesus. See, because after Matthew chapter three, when Jesus is baptized and you hear the voice of God saying, this is my son. In the very next chapter, Matthew chapter four, we're told that Jesus is led into the wilderness for a period of 40 days of prayer and fasting.

And at the end of the 40 days, the devil comes to tempt him. And how does the devil tempt him? Well, he goes after the identity that God has just spoken over him. Pay attention to this, Matthew four and verse three. He says, if you are the son of God, tell these stones to become loaves of bread. Then verses five and six, then the devil took him to the holy city, Jerusalem, to the highest point of the temple and said, if you are the son of God, Jump off. For the scriptures say, he will order his angels to protect you, and they will hold you up with their hands so you won't even hurt your foot on a stone. God has just spoken identity over Jesus. And three verses later, the enemy comes along and basically says, prove it. Go on, Jesus, prove it. Is that really true? You don't actually believe that, do you? I think there are a lot of temptations that happen in the wilderness when the devil comes to tempt Jesus, but I think one of them is whether or not Jesus is going to trust what God has just said about him 40 days prior. Will he stand secure? Or will he stand insecure and try to prove that it's true, that he really does deserve that title,

that he really is worth it? And it's a similar choice we have. Will we believe that what God has to say about us is actually true? Will we find our worth and our value in what Jesus has done at the cross, or will we go looking for it elsewhere? In our work, in our money, in our relationships, in what other people have to say about us? And it really is a temptation to go looking elsewhere for your worth and value, because those things can provide you with a sense of value and significance and meaning for some time, but it's not lasting. And it's so fleeting, and it's so unsteady. Jesus could have turned that stone into bread and gotten the satisfaction of being the one that can turn stone to bread and can feed the multitudes and can solve world hunger, but then he would have had to do it again and again and again, and he may have never had the security to do what he was made to do, which is go to the cross. You can always lose your job, and eventually you're gonna have to retire. Money can go in the blink of an eye. Relationships can end, and your children can fail you. And it takes faith to believe that God's word in your life is actually true,

because it doesn't always feel like it. But God's not gonna fail you, and you won't ever retire from being his son or his daughter. His word is steady, lasting, faithful, true, and he has paid the full price to call you his own. And because Jesus resisted the temptation and stood secure, well, that means so can you, and so can I. And the good news is that we know exactly how Jesus resisted the temptation. See, if you read the rest of Matthew chapter four, you'll find out that Jesus resisted the temptation and stood secure by bringing to mind scripture. He put his trust in God's word. He put his trust in what God has to say, which is the same thing we ought to do if we want to stand secure. We need to know what is true about us as sons and daughters of God. And the way we do that is by going to God's word and storing it up in our hearts. And when you do that, you'll actually find that God has a lot to say, so much so that not even an entire sermon would be sufficient. So I'm just gonna share with you two of them this morning. Two things that are true of sons and daughters of God, two things that instead of letting it go, you actually need to grab on to. First is this, you are chosen. You're chosen.

Ephesians one, four through five, we looked at this a couple of weeks ago. Pay attention to what Paul writes. Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself. through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it brought him great pleasure. Even before God made the world, God loved you. Before Genesis chapter one, God chose you. He decided in advance to bring you into his family, and I want you to notice a couple things that Paul writes here. First is this, God chose you in Christ. So there it is again, your life, your identity, who you are, who you were made to be is found in Christ. Knowing him is the pathway to knowing you. And the second thing is this, Paul says that God's decision to choose you is that it's what he wanted, and that it brought him great pleasure to do it. Nobody made God choose you, and God didn't even choose you for you. He chose you for himself because he delights in you. Now, I know what you might be thinking. Aren't I the one who chose God? Didn't I choose to surrender to Jesus?

Wasn't it my decision to put my faith in him? Wasn't I the one who decided to get baptized? And the answer to those questions is yes, you did make those decisions, and the Bible is also clear that before you could even think about making those decisions, God chose you. And the way that God can choose you, but you still have a responsibility to choose God, and those two things are true at the same time is a mystery that we will probably never be able to understand, but we can trust because God has said it, we're chosen. There's a great spiritual writer by the name of Henry Nouwen, and he writes this about our chosenness, and as I read this, I want you to imagine that Nouwen writes this to you. He says this, from all eternity, long before you were born and became a part of history, you existed in God's heart. Long before your parents admired you, or your friends acknowledged your gifts, or your teachers, colleagues, and employers encouraged you, you were already chosen. The eyes of love had seen you as precious, as of infinite beauty, as of eternal value. The eternal one sees you as having eternal value, so please quit finding your value in things that aren't eternal.

You're chosen. God chose you, and because you're chosen, God did everything it took to give you the right to choose him, which gets us to the next thing that is true of God's sons and daughters. You are forgiven. You're forgiven. Paul continues in Ephesians 1, six and seven. So we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us who belong to his dear son. He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of his son and forgave our sins. Because God chose us, God sent Jesus to shed his blood so that we could choose him, so that we could be forgiven. This is one of those amazing things that we talk about in church that we can actually forget how amazing it is. God forgave our sin, past, present, and future. That is amazing news. That's mind-boggling news. Now, does this mean that God condones our sin, that we have a free license to sin, that we no longer need to repent? Of course not. That's why Paul in Ephesians four, five, and six is gonna go on to talk about the way that we act in our marriages and with our children and in the workplace and in other aspects of our lives,

because our identity as God's sons and daughters actually gives us the responsibility to act like sons and daughters. But here's what it does mean. What forgiveness means is that when you do sin, you don't lose your status as someone who is a chosen and forgiven son or daughter. It means that when you do sin, you actually still have access to God as Father, and that you're actually encouraged to run to God instead of away from Him. Some of you are looking for your worth and value in other places because you don't think God forgives you. You think that what Jesus did on the cross is not for you. Or for that sin. So you're running elsewhere, looking for your worth and your value because you think that you ruined your chance with God. You're punishing yourself because you don't think that Jesus took your punishment. Friend, let me tell you something. The cross was for everyone. There is no one excluded. And Jesus paid for that sin a long time ago. And when you come to God, when you go to be with Him, He's not going to remind you of all the mistakes you've made. You're not gonna hear the voice of an accuser that says, you don't measure up, or it's all your fault, or you haven't lived up. You're gonna hear the voice of love

that reminds you you're chosen, you're forgiven. And you are dearly loved. But here's the thing. You do have to go and spend time with Him to be reminded of those things. To stand secure, you do have to go and be with Jesus. So as I mentioned at the beginning of this sermon, my wife and I both had the opportunities to do internships here last summer. And as part of my internship here, I had the chance to preach on Communicators Weekend. And I was, of course, really excited to preach that Sunday, but I was more nervous than anything. It was gonna be my third time preaching on a Sunday morning ever. And truthfully, I just didn't really think I had what it took. And the Saturday night before that sermon, anxiety started to rise up within me. And the bombardment started to happen in my head. You better not screw this up. Opportunities like this are few and far between. If you don't preach a good sermon tomorrow, you're not actually who you think you are. And you're not who they think you are. You've gotta prove it to them. Of course, I tried to handle it on my own. That only sent me into a deeper and deeper anxious spiral. And so finally, I let Lexi in. And she called out the lies that I was believing.

And she spoke the truth back into me. And it gave me some peace to get to bed that night. And then I woke up the next morning. And the thoughts were back. The temptation to put my worth and my value into my performance on this platform. And so I did what mentors had taught me to do. I went in to be alone with Jesus. And I got before God. And I just started spewing on God everything that I was thinking and feeling. God, I feel like if I don't preach a good sermon, then I'm nothing. I've got no worth and value if I can't do this one thing right. I feel like I've gotta prove something. And God interrupted me. And I don't think I've ever heard the voice of God so clearly in my life. He said, Cooper, if it's really about me, then you don't have to be spectacular. You don't have to be anything but my dearly beloved son. And in a moment, I felt the peace of God come on me. And it freed me up to come and share God's word with the people that he loves without the chains of wondering, what is everybody gonna think of me? Friend, let me tell you something. You do not have to be spectacular at your job. You do not have to be spectacular with your money.

You do not have to be a spectacular parent. You just have to be God's dearly beloved son or daughter. And you were spectacular at that before you took your first breath. And as you go to be with Jesus in prayer and in his word and walk in vulnerable community with one another, you're gonna be reminded you're chosen. You are forgiven. And you have eternal value in the eyes of your eternal father. And I'm not just sharing that with you because it's from my own life. I'm sharing it with you because that's really good news. And if it's really good news, then you should share it with someone. Let's pray. And so, Lord, God, we thank you. We thank you, Lord, that you not only say we have great worth and value, but you proved that we have great worth and value at the cross. Jesus, we thank you that you stood so securely that you would not stray from God's will for you. God, help us to stand secure in our identity as chosen and forgiven sons and daughters of God. Remind us of that identity when we are believing the lies. And help us to stand securely. We pray all this through Christ, amen.