Ian's Testimony

Hello, everyone. My name is Ian. I'm a believer in Jesus Christ. I celebrate recovery over alcoholism, post-traumatic stress disorder, and death and bereavement. Here's a little bit of my story. I was born to parents with all accounts, had their own hurts, habits, and hang-ups. My first experience with death came early. My mom, now in her third marriage, died in a car accident. Our family tree is confusing. I have three half-siblings on my mom's side, a half-brother from my dad's side. After my mom died, I moved in with my father and stepmother, Kathy. They both held down jobs. My father worked as a nuclear power plant, and Kathy was a nurse. Weekend parties were common. One morning, after a party with friends, my father woke up to find Kathy had overdosed and died during the night, a second major loss in my life. My dad, a Vietnam vet, was now a single dad of a five-year-old. Since he had to go to work early, he trusted a junior high kid named Billy to walk me to school. Billy was experimenting with drugs and girls, and I had my very own tutor. He would find my father's hidden marijuana and make me use it with him. So as a first grader, I was stoned about every day before school. My grades dropped and parent-teacher conferences started, and within a year, I was held back, leaving me ashamed and embarrassed. First Peter 5, 6, and 7 says, humble yourself under God's right hand, and he may lift you up in due time. Little did I know, God is always in control. By the time I was five, my father married Julie, and I gained a little sister named Holly. The next five years, I had a nurturing, loving home with structure. Sports became an enjoyable part of my life, and I had great support from my new stepmom. I believe God knew what I needed and strategically put Julie and Holly in my life to bear fruit. I didn't always see it, but God is always about the bigger picture. By junior high, my father and Julie separated, and it was again just my father and I. I was again smoking pot with my old friend Billy, but now we took it further and added methamphetamines to our chemical abuse. Unfortunately, God is not the only one that places people in our lives. The enemy places them there as well. John 10, 10 says, the thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy. My father's drinking increased, and things were not so good. Then we got a call saying that my brother, Brian, was in a car accident and passed. Another big blow to our lives. I ended up moving away from my father and living with my aunt and uncle through high school. I understand how God uses those experiences to make me who I am today. Romans 8, 28 says, all things work together for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose.

After high school and during Desert Storm, I decided to join the military. I was deployed with the United States Sixth Fleet, NATO Standing Naval Force Atlantic. Even though I was rarely at home port, I had fallen in love and asked my wife, Tara, or asked Tara to be my wife. I finished my enlistment after my third deployment and honorably discharged. We headed back home to raise our first child and two others that were yet to come. Three months prior to my discharge, my father had a car accident and passed away. My father's death is still strong on my mind and struggling with the feeling of worthlessness that can come when returning from home, away from my military brothers, from past deployments, PTSD, depression set in. I was a mess mentally. My wife and our three-month-old child could not fill the hole that was created by all the years of suffering. My marriage was up and down. I lied to cover my addiction. I went back and forth between sobriety and relapse. My pattern for doing well for a while followed by returning to drinking. Proverbs 26 and 11 says, like a dog that returns to his vomit is a fool who repeats his folly. I received my first DWI months after my active duty discharge. We were reaching some of our goals and looking like the all-American family. Our house grow grew to five. I thought I was doing good at hiding my addiction, but little did I know the alcoholic is the last one to know that he has a problem. The problems didn't stop. I received three more DWIs over the period of 10 years. And I was a mess in every area. of my life. After my fourth DWI, the state came at me with 25 to life. They said I would never change. Because of the service to my country, it was reduced to a 2 to 20, and I accepted a 12-year sentence in TDCJ. While in TDCJ, God used this time to draw near to me as I draw near to Him. I was signed as a gravedigger, and He used these few years to bring peace and death as I buried anywhere from 10 to 5 inmates every other week. God was restoring my relationships and allowing me to be a part of my children's life, even though I was locked up. I got involved in every program that I could, to be a better father, to be a better husband, and to be a better person. I enrolled in courses in pursuit of a degree in human services to be a licensed chemical dependency counselor. I finally made parole. I had one more unit to attend, and it was a six-month program, but I didn't care. I was going home. While at the Henderson unit, I heard about Celebrate

Recovery on the Inside, or CRI as we call it. I gave it a try. Wow, was I impressed. Marion and Alan, who led the CRI, are amazing. What a godsend. I was hooked. I immediately volunteered and got involved any way I could, this including going through a step study. I've worked the steps several times in AA, but never like this. In 2017, I was released. I hit the ground running. There was so much I needed to do, driver's license, job, vehicle, pay fines, and the list was overwhelming. How was I going to do all this? Well, I already knew I wasn't in control, so I did what had worked so far since accepting Jesus as my Lord and Savior. I put God first. Step one, we admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors and that our lives had become unmanageable. Jeremiah 29 and 11 says, for I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity, to give you a future and to give you hope. God is a God of second chances. My life has been transformed in ways I could never have dreamed. God has given me a whole new meaning and purpose. I feel like He has turned the most meaningless parts of my life into the most meaningful. Choosing to surrender to God has opened more opportunities than I could ever have imagined. Today, I participate and celebrate recovery groups all over the country. I am a member of Broken Chains Ministry. I am a Cowboys for Christ chaplain. I am a Cowboys and Outlaws chaplain and participate in jails and prisons nationwide. God has given me additional favors. I'm a project superintendent for a great company called Master's Plan Church Design and Construction. My relationship with my wife and kids has totally been restored. I am celebrating 31 years of marriage in July. God has done more in my life than I could ever have imagined. This year, I celebrate 14 years of sobriety. The old end has passed away. The new end doesn't blame others for his choices like he did in the past. I know if I want to live my life above where I am today, I must be ready to strap myself in and do the hard work required to get there. Psalms 34, 37 and 4 says, delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. I wish you well, good luck, and thank you for letting me share.