I Left That Out (Jonathan Josephs)

It's so good to be with you guys today. My name is Jonathan. Everyone calls me JJ. I get to serve here as our Ballantyne campus pastor, and I'm grateful to be able to share God's word with you today. You know, I'm so, we're just thinking, God, I'm just grateful for you. And I feel so grateful this week, not only grateful for the opportunity to share God's word, but I was just thinking too, in just a couple of weeks, we'll celebrate 10 years since this Ballantyne location opened. Isn't that crazy, 10 years already? And even as I look around this room, I'm so grateful. I see people who have, you know, come at different points along the journey, but so many OGs in the room, Katrina and Antonio, all 10 years you've been serving with us here. Yeah. And who else? Tom and Lisa are on the floor. And Craig and Amy, you've been here all 10 too? Yeah. Yeah. It's amazing. Thank you. And Anna said in the car, she's like, can you believe that you were just 29 years old when pastor Steven asked you to come help launch this Ballantyne campus? And I don't know what he was thinking, but I'm so glad that he saw something in me and believed. I'm so grateful for a pastor who would let me grow with the ministry. And these last 10 years, being able to be a part of so many of your lives has been such a privilege. And I want to thank pastor Steven for the opportunity to preach today. And even as I look back over this 10 years, I've been a part of the church longer than

I thought. But so many moments where the messages that God gave him hit me exactly in the place that I needed it the most. Even on this father's day weekend, I was getting teary thinking about how my firstborn, when I first became a dad, just a week later, we ended up back in the hospital with them. Remember turning on, excuse me, but turning on the stream in that hospital room, watching pastor preach in a series called how to be brave. And at a moment where I needed courage, how his words gave me courage and so many other moments along the way, when I wanted to give up and he preached moments, sermons like staying power or where I felt lonely and he preached a lonely places, all these amazing messages that have just carried me through season to season, glory to glory, strength to strength, or he's so grateful for our pastors. Can we thank the Lord for them? And this whole summer has been amazing so far. I mean, we've had so many great people bringing the word of God to us. Pastor Jabin preached a powerful word for us last week and pastor Robert Medu. What was that mess? Unbelievable. And, uh, uh, who else pre LB preached one weekend, I'll be at a great word for us and Priscilla Shire. Like what was, Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. So, but I have a scripture I'm excited to share with you today. I've never preached on a psalm before, and I just came across the psalm in my daily reading and it ministered to me so much that I thought I want to preach that. And as I began to study this passage, the Lord began to reveal more and more to me through it and really challenged me in a way that was pretty profound and personal. It's a long passage of scripture. You good to stand for a little bit while we read this together. I want to read Psalm one 39 and it's so rich.

I don't know what the sermon will bless you today, but I know this passage of scripture will bless you today. Let's read this together. The Psalmist said, you have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise, you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my laying down. You are familiar with all my ways before a word is on my tongue. You Lord know it completely. You hem me in behind and before you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to obtain. Where can I go from your spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there. If I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me. Your right hand will hold me fast. If I say surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me, even the darkness will not be dark to you. The night will shine like the day for darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being. You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful. I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, God.

How vast is the sum of them. Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, still I am with you. Search me, God, and know my heart. Test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting. Before I give you my title, would you just make David's words your prayer this morning? Would you just say, search me, God? Now say it to your father. in heaven say search me god the title of my message today is i left that out i left that out you may be seated it's uh this is always a big week in our household uh two of my kids had birthdays this week and of course father's day and then just a week ago me and anna celebrated 16 years of marriage praise the lord they said we wouldn't make it look at us um one of the things we've really made a priority in our marriage in our life over the last several years now is doing a marriage counseling together and it's been so helpful every time i say that people go like oh no what's wrong but for us it's uh it was uh you know we just thought wouldn't it be good to talk with someone regularly get perspective get healthy before something goes wrong you know especially as life becomes more complex as we're trying to raise kids and all that and so we've been doing this for a few years now and it's been so helpful for us 99 percent of our time with the counselor is anna working through things um but now and then there's something that comes up that pertains to me and um anyone who knows knows us knows that's very far from the truth okay uh but one of the things that the counselor's been really trying to work with me on that i can tell she keeps nudging and it's taking me a while to get the hint is just being more open and being a little bit more vulnerable i can be a pretty guarded person i'm a nice person but i can be a pretty guarded person and i can tell the counselor's been working with me trying to work with me on on that because even in mine and anna's relationship it's like i'll come home from work and i'm so interested in her day and what the kids are up to and we'll listen to her stories from throughout the day and when she asks me how was your day i normally give her this answer it was good it was good and it's not a lie it's just limited that's kind of all i give her and then i'm realizing something's wrong with me when i see her using little tricks on me that she

uses on our boys like she'll ask them around the dinner table what were your highs and lows and they seem to talk a little bit more so when she started asking me what was your highs and lows i go oh my goodness i need to grow god help me and so the counselor's been she's been trying to help me in this and i had a friend this week he said it this way he he said full act full intimacy requires full access full intimacy requires full access and even as i think about it in my relationship with anna and other relationships in my life i'm realizing more and more that even when it comes to my relationship with god there's a lot of things that i leave out when it comes to my prime and prayer with him my walk with him there's things that i think oh that's just too small for god to care about other people are going through way harder things than why would god care about this i'll just i'll just leave that out or things that i feel are too messy too shameful to bring to god so i just leave that out but more and more i'm realizing that to have an intimate relationship with god to really know him it requires that i give him full access to my life last this time last year on father's day i preached a message called all i know it was about personally experiencing the power of god the testimonies we built through that it really is such a theme of my life because i think that deep down i have such a desire to know the lord my one of my favorite scriptures my life verses philippians 3 10 where paul says my one purpose is that i would know christ resonates with me that really resonates with me and yet i think as deeply as i desire to know the lord there's a part of me that really hesitates to let the lord know me but full intimacy requires full access this psalm is so beautiful because david is laying forth a theology that tells us so much about god there's a simple structure to this that goes six verses six verses six verses for the first six verses he's talking about this simple idea that god knows everything the theological term for that is god is omniscient it means there's nothing that he doesn't know david says you know when i sit you know when i lie you know the words i speak before they even come out of my mouth touch your neighbor say god knows everything god knows everything so he spends six verses talking about how god knows every single detail of your life and then the next six verses he talks about the how god is everywhere the word for that is he's omnipresent everyone say god is everywhere he says even if i go to the darkness you're there god it becomes light to you if i go to the heavens you're there if i go to the there's nowhere i can go that your presence doesn't go with me and then for the next six verses david begins to talk about the power of god he's omnipotent he says god you're the one who made

me in the depths only you could form me and declare over me that i am fearfully and wonderfully made david gives this beautiful structure god knows everything god's the one who created me god is everywhere and yet so i read through this psalm as beautiful as it was you know every single one of these lines you could put on a t-shirt and sell them and sell them sell a coffee mug sell a t-shirt filled with soap So many amazing verses. And yet, as I was reading this Psalm, I don't know if you noticed, but there was a part that I left out when I read it to you. I left it out because it was dark. I left it out because it gets messy. I left it out because honestly, as I read through this Psalm, I thought, I don't know how that'll work on a Sunday morning. I left it out because it almost feels so random like David goes just right off track. And in the midst of all these beautiful words that David is saying, he ends in verse 18, where I had to count them. They would outnumber the grains of the sand. When I awake, I am still with you. And then here's what I left out. If only you, God, would slay the wicked. Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty. They speak of you with evil intent. Your adversaries misuse your name. Do I not hate those who hate you, Lord, and abhor those who are in rebellion against you? I have nothing but hatred for them. I count them my enemies.

Search me, O God, and know my heart. Test me and see. You're like, whoa, David went schizophrenic. David, where did that come from? All this amazing scripture telling us about who God is, how God knows everything, the intricate details of my life, how there's nowhere I can go, nowhere I can run that God isn't with me. And then you're going into, I hate my enemies. I wish you would kill them. David, where did that come from? And yet I'm so thankful that God didn't leave that part out. So I was thinking through, how do I preach this message? I'll just have to leave that part out. God began to speak to me more and more. He goes, no, no, no, no. I left that in for a reason. I'm so glad he left that part in because it teaches me something about how I relate to God. I wonder if when God was putting together the scriptures through the inspiration of a spirit, whether they were the ones writing it or whether someone was writing it, how many times some of these Bible characters were like, hey, God, can you leave that part out? Like, I wonder if Moses was like, cool, tell them about how I was rescued out of the basket. That's pretty cool. And how I split the Red Sea, that's pretty cool. But the part where I got angry and just killed the guy,

do you think we could leave that out? Or Abraham, the father of our faith, do you think he was ever like, hey, do you think you could leave the part out where I mistreated Hagar? Or when I conceived, I was too impatient to wait with Sarah so I conceived a child with Hagar or how I lied about who my wife was a couple of times. Tell them the good things about how, you know, I left the city I knew in faith, believing God for some, tell them that part. But the parts about my mistakes, could you leave that out? Or if Rahab was like, yeah, yeah, tell them about how I helped rescue the spies, how I helped save them, but about my career choices. Do you think you could leave that out? Or even Saul, Paul, the guy who planted so many churches and reached the Gentile world with the gospel, do you think he was like, hey, yeah, tell them about the leaders I raised up and the churches I planted. But God, maybe don't tell them about how I was the one standing there when they stoned Stephen. All these moments in the scripture that people we read about, I'm so grateful that God left those details in because it tells me something about the way God wants to relate to us.

I'm so glad that David left this part of the psalm in. In the midst of all his language about who God is and the characteristics of God, I'm so grateful that he got to a moment of vulnerability and honesty where he said, God, I wanna tell you where I really am right now. It's so deeply personal that it almost feels like uncomfortable for us on a Sunday morning. I hate my enemy, the bloodthirsty people. I wish you would kill them, God. You're like, what? What you have to remember is this is David's personal diaries that they turned into songs that the whole nation would sing. That's wild, y'all. Imagine coming to church on a Sunday morning and Tiff gets done singing, God, you've been so, so good to me. And then we go next song and I grab Eric, oh, no, Eric's journal would be too messy, okay. I grabbed Deanna's journal. I say, all right, throw these up on the screens. We're all gonna sing it together. Y'all, the whole nation would sing this song. And I'm so glad that David left it in. He left in the parts that we wanna leave out. And I wonder sometimes if the reason we come into God's presence, the reason we come to church sometimes and hear a powerful word and leave unchanged,

I wonder if the reason we leave unchanged is because we're leaving out some of the things that we're meant to bring to God. There's things that you left in the car this morning. There's issues you're going through that you left at home. And I wonder what it would look like for us to bring those things into God's presence in prayer, in submission, in worship. What would it look like to bring the parts to God that we're so tempted to leave out time and time again because we think they don't belong, because we think God can't handle it, because we think they're too messy, too dark, too ugly. What would it look like to bring those very things into the presence of God and lay them down at the altar and say, God, would you meet me in this place where I need a touch of your presence right now, where I need your healing power, where I need your hand to deliver me. And yet the enemy will fight so. hard to keep us stuck, running and running and running and hiding and hiding and hiding. So we never bring those things into the presence of God. And like I said earlier though, but full intimacy requires full access. What does it look like to say, God, here I am, have everything. I wanna relook at this scripture together through that lens of some of the things that we do,

because one by one, David is giving us a theology that leads us to a place of honesty. See, I read those verses and I thought those are too random. And yet I realized everything David is laying out from verses one through 18, he is laying a belief about God that actually leads him to the place where he can say those things. Do you understand what I'm saying? His theology, his view of who God was, led him to the place where he says, God, I can trust you with all this. I can tell you how I really feel. I can tell you what I'm going through right now. And so one by one, he dismantles it. And the first point that I wanna talk to you about from those first six verses is this. He says, essentially, what's the point in hiding if God knows everything? What's the point of hiding if God knows everything? One of our tendencies in our relationship with God is to hide. And David keeps going, why would you hide from God if he knows when you sit, he knows when you stand, if he knows every word that comes out of your mouth before you even speak it, what's the point in hiding if God knows everything? When I read these verses to my oldest son on the porch one day, I read those verses,

said, hey, what do you think this means? He goes, God sees everything I do. And he said it like that. And he said it in a way that I think a lot of us feel when we think about the omniscience of God, how he knows everything. We still think that God is like the NSA, just surveilling us, waiting for us to mess up or he's Santa Claus. He knows when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good. And we think God is out to catch us. And so we keep trying to hide, hide, hide from God because we think he's a father waiting for us to mess up so he can strike us. But that's not what David is saying. He's saying God knows everything. God is so intimately connected to our lives. When it says that you hand me in before and behind, some of us view that like a prison, but David wants you to see this as an embrace. He's saying God's right there with you. Whatever you're walking through, whatever you're going through, he's right in it with you. He knows everything already. So what's the point in hiding if God knows everything? You can tell him the truth. He already knows everything you've been through, everything you're going through, everything you're feeling.

You can bring it to God. There's a story in John chapter four where Jesus goes and sits down at a well in an area called Samaria. And at noon in the heat of the sun, a woman comes up to get some water. She's coming at noon because she's hiding. She's hiding from people. She doesn't wanna be seen by anybody else. So she goes to the well at a time when she knows nobody else will be there. She's hiding from her mistakes. She's hiding from her past. And yet when she gets to this well, Jesus is there waiting for her. And Jesus asked her a simple question. He says, as they're interacting, he says, "'Where's your husband?' And she says, "'Ah.'" He doesn't ask her that question because he needs information. He's asking her that question because he wants access. Access. Full intimacy requires full access. "'Where's your husband?' And she says, "'Ah, I don't have a husband.'" He says, "'You're right, you've had five. And the man you're living with isn't your husband.'" He didn't bring all this up to condemn her, but he brought it up so he could offer her something better.

He offers her living water so that she wouldn't have to keep running to other people to find satisfaction. He brings it up to say, "'I already know everything you've done. I already know everything you're going through. So why don't you just be honest about it so I can give you the solution to what you've been going through?' And something so powerful happens in this story. Because after Jesus brings up everything she's done, it says in John 4, verse 28, "'Then leaving the water jar, the woman went back to the town and said to the people.'" Well, what people? The very people she was hiding from, she's now running to. And she says, "'Come, come and see a man who told me everything I ever did.'" The very things that she was trying to hide. She says, "'Come see a man who told me all about the things I was trying to keep hidden.'" He already knew it all. She said, "'Could this be the Messiah? And this woman who was hiding in shame became an evangelist for the goodness of God.'" Is it possible today that the things that we're trying to leave out are actually the places that not only does God want to heal, but that God wants to use in our lives to impact and reach other people?

What does it look like to bring the things that we've been hiding to God and lay them out at his feet? But the enemy will tempt us to view God the wrong way so that we keep things hidden, because he knows that what goes in the dark grows in the dark. And God cannot heal what you keep hidden. So what does it look like? Bring everything to God. Because David says he already knows. He knows everything. Before a word ever came out of your mouth, he knew about it. The next thing David wants to confront is our tendency to run. And for six verses, he talks about how God is everywhere. Touch your neighbor again, say, God is everywhere. God is everywhere. And what's the point in running if God is everywhere? All of us have a tendency to run, whether that's from God, whether that's from our reality, whether that's from our emotions or situations in our lives that get heavy. But what's the point in running if God is everywhere? You know, running only works if there's a place that God can't go. And the psalmist says there isn't. Even if I go into the depths, you're there. Even darkness, if you show up, it just becomes light.

There's nowhere I can't go that his presence hasn't already gone. So what's the point in trying to run if his presence goes with me? As I was reading this passage, I don't know why, I think it was the Holy Spirit, but it brought to mind a memory of a woman I already mentioned, a woman named Hagar. Her story in Genesis is so powerful. Hagar was Abraham's Egyptian slave. She's an Egyptian, she's outside of the covenant. And Abraham and his wife, Sarah, really mistreated her. And there's a moment in the scriptures where she starts running to escape her situation. See, sometimes we're hiding from the things that we've done. Other times we're running because of the things that have been done to us. She's running from the mistreatment, the betrayal, the abuse, and she's on the run in the wilderness. And even in her running, it's so beautiful. God meets her there, and he calls to her in the wilderness, and he says, Hagar, where are you coming from? And where are you going? Again, he's not asking because he needs the information. He's asking because he wants access. And he encounters her in her running. He encounters her in the wilderness, her trying to escape everything that she's going through. God meets her there and calls her by name.

And she becomes the first person in all of scripture to give God a personal name. She calls him El Roy, the God who sees me. Not a priest, not a patriarch, not someone, not a Hebrew. The first person in all of scripture to give God a personal name is an Egyptian slave who on the run encounters the Lord and says, I found the God who sees me. How beautiful is that? And later she ends up going back to Abraham's household and fast forward a little bit. She has a son with Abraham and they're on the run. Abraham and Sarah eventually kick her out of the house. And this ministered to me so much when I saw it because she's back in the wilderness again, running, running. Not because it was her own fault, but just the reality of her life caused her to run. And she's running out of water, and she realizes her son is about to die. And so she places him under a bush and walks away. She wants to be at a distance because she doesn't want to watch her son take his last breath. And once again, the Lord shows up for her in the middle of the wilderness because remember friends, there's nowhere you can go that his presence can't find you. And she says that, look at this, in Genesis 21, 17, it says, and God heard the voice of the boy. And the angel of the Lord called the Hagar from heaven

and said to her, what troubles you, Hagar? Fear not, look at this, for God has heard the boy's cry from where he is. From where he is. That blessed me to know that God will hear you from where you are, not where you pretend to be, not where you think you should be, not with all your polished words that you clean up for church, God will hear you from where you are. Henry now, and he said it this way, I hope I can find it in my, he says, crying out to God is not a sign of weakness, it's a sign of faith. Cries out to God, I have heard the boy's cry from where he is. Just the other day, it was such a God moment. I'd been reading this Psalm just personally, not knowing if I was gonna preach it. And I decided to reach out to a friend of mine who lives in the UK, she used to work for us here at the church. A few years ago, while she was still here, her mom had a brain aneurysm and passed pretty quickly, it was so tragic. And I texted her the other day just to check in and she said, I'm so glad you've reached out, I've been meaning to text you, she said, my dad just got diagnosed with brain cancer

and had surgery on Wednesday, he just got out of the hospital today. She said they're giving him 12 months to live, so I pick up the phone, I call, her parents were amazing, they've served God their whole life, their pastor's over there. And I pick up the phone and I call her and she's just talking me through all the details and she said, you know, my dad's so amazing, he's so full of faith right now, believing that God is fully gonna heal him. And she said, but I'm really struggling, she said, I don't feel like I have the faith he does. She said, because when my mom got sick, I prayed and believed for her healing and God didn't heal her. So she said, so if I'm being honest right now, I don't know if I believe God can heal my dad. And I said to her, She said, I know that kind of sounds like weak faith. I said, Gabby, that's not weak faith. That's honest faith. And it blessed me to know that God will hear you from where you are, not where you think you should be. See, sometimes when we come to God, we think we have to have it all cleaned up. But God will hear your cry from the realest place. God will hear your cry when you say, God, I don't know how to believe you for this right now

because last time you left me disappointed. How powerful is that to think that faith isn't just certainty and His promises. It can be both. You can say, God, I believe you have the power to heal. God, I believe you have the power to deliver. But if God is big enough to do all those things, what does it look like to trust His character and believe that He's big enough to handle our doubts, handle our fears, handle our questions, handle our concerns? Do you think God is big enough to handle all that? And so I love their honesty because she says, God, last time I believed you for it and you didn't do it, so I'm struggling to trust you right now. That's the type of faith that God responds to. She gave them access. And God will always hear your honest prayer. God will hear you, church, from where you are. And David says, you don't have to keep running. You don't have to keep running away from everything that you're facing. Just bring it to God and He will meet you in that place. Amen, amen. That really ministered to me because I think sometimes in church, we can become so conditioned to always bring God the right answer, you know? It's like maybe there's someone in this room who time and time again,

it's been your fourth time going to the fertility doctor and they said, not this time. And your tendency is just to go, God, I trust your timing. And it's okay to say, God, I do trust your timing, but I'm also really disappointed right now. It's okay to say, and God, it's really hard for me to be happy for other people while we're going through this ourselves. God can handle all that. Some of us come to church and we can't even lift our hands because we're white knuckling our way through in an addiction. And God is saying, you don't have to hide all that. You can say it over and over again. God, I believed you for deliverance and it didn't happen. And I relapsed again. You can bring all that to God and I want you to know that He will hear you from where you are. David says, there's nowhere I can go that God isn't with me. And then perhaps most powerfully, David in the next few verses, he addresses our tendency to pretend. And he says, what's the point in pretending if God's the one who made me? You created my inmost being. You knit me together in my mother's womb. Every day of my life was ordained and written in your book of life. He's saying, God already knows everything about you.

He's the one who made you. So what's the point in pretending? You know, pretending is in some ways one of the most sophisticated ways that we leave things out from God's presence. You know, running, running can be exhausting. The thing about running is that we end up circling the same issues and running away from the very person who can heal. See, I don't know a lot about running. The one thing I know is, and the most important thing is that it's exhausting. We run, we run, we run. Someone just testified over there. Okay. Can run, we can run. We can try to hide. But maybe one of the most sophisticated things we do is we try to pretend. And I think we do it to preemptively avoid rejection sometime. There's a belief that if people really knew who we were, they would reject us. And maybe we built that defense mechanism because it's true, maybe people have rejected you. But what David wants you to know is God will never reject you. He's the one who made you. And when he created you with all your quirks, he declared over you

that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. So when it comes to God, you don't need to pretend. You don't need to act like you have it all together. You don't need to act like you don't have hangups. You don't need to act like there's things that you're not ashamed of. You can bring it all to him because he created you. He knit you together by his power and by his will. He designed you, he placed you here. And every single thing you've gone through and every single day of your life, he says it was written in his book. His sovereign hand has been guiding you the whole time. And so David's saying, you don't have to pretend this is the God who created you. And yet I think so often, and maybe I'm just speaking for myself. I come into church and I feel like I need to pretend with God. Anybody else that I need to act like I have it all together? There's a parable that Jesus gives in Luke chapter 18. He says, two men went up onto the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other, a tax collector. He's talking about the best and the worst right here. He's giving a contrast. And the Pharisee stood by himself and prayed, God, I thank you that I'm not like other people. Robbers, evildoers, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. How awkward is this?

The guy can probably hear him. God, I thank you so much that I'm not a adulterer. I thank you that I'm not a tax collector. I thank you that I'm not a Pharisee. God, I thank you so much that I'm not like Chris sitting over there. God, I don't know if I have a lot to praise you for, but I'm just glad I'm not like that guy. That's what he's doing. It's so arrogant. It's crazy. He says, I thank you that I'm not like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and I give a tenth of all I get. Y'all, he's treating his prayer time like a performance review. He's coming to God and he's listing all the things. Do you ever do that sometime negotiating with God? Hey God, I'm here just checking in. I want to let you know I've been doing really good lately. God, I've been going to church a lot more regularly. I even started tithe. I signed up for an E-team. I'm going to start serving at the church. God, I just want to let you know. See, what the Pharisee is saying, it's not a lie. It's just limited. He probably did fast. He probably did tithe. The question is not what he did. The question is, what is he leaving out? What were the secret things that he was struggling with that he didn't bring before God? What about the pride he was carrying? You notice he left that out. He says, God, I just thank you that I'm not like these other people. Look at all the things I do. Then Jesus, by contrast, shows us the tax collector. He says he wouldn't even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, God, have mercy on me, a sinner. Jesus says, I tell you that this is the man who will walk away justified. Why? Because he was honest. One man came before God saying, God, this is what I've done. Look at me. But he left a lot out. The other came before God and said, God, I just have to be real with you. I need your mercy. I need you, God. I'm a sinner. I don't deserve this, but this is who I am, and you know me. Would you meet me in this place just as I am? One man walked away justified. I think sometimes in our walk with God, we do the same thing where we come before him, and we feel like we need to pretend to earn his love. We feel like we need to pretend to convince him that we're worth blessing. We feel like we need to pretend to convince him that we have it all together. David is saying, are you joking me? He knits you together in your mother's womb. He knows everything about you. He saw when you stood up. He saw when you laid down. He knows everything already. So what are we pretending for? I wonder what encounter would look like, what kind of encounters with God we would have, what kind of intimacy with the Father

we would experience if we came to God and refused to pretend. It's wild. It's wild. There's a story back to Genesis. I've mentioned Abraham. Abraham had a son named Isaac. Isaac had a son named Jacob. Jacob was the second born, but he wanted the firstborn blessing. There's a story in Genesis 27 where he goes to his father, and he wants the firstborn blessing. To get that, he has to pretend to be his older brother Esau. So he puts fur on his back, because his brother was hairy. Abraham has gone blind at this point, but he goes, if my dad touches me, he'll feel the fur. He'll think I'm Esau. He changes his voice, and so he goes to his father, and Jacob asks his father Isaac for the blessing. Isaac goes, what's your name? Who are you? That's the question he asked. He answered, I'm Esau. He was pretending to be someone else. In his pretending, he has his blind father's blessing, but the rest of it… I don't know if it was really a blessing, because he would spend from that point forward having to outrun and live in the consequences of his deceit. The thing about pretending is you have to keep up that image time and time again, day after day. You have to keep it up. He spends his life on the run, but there's this beautiful moment of redemption that happens in Genesis 32. Remember, when he went to his father with fur on his back, with his voice changed, pretending to be something else, his father asked him a simple question. Who are you? He said, my name is Esau. But later in Genesis 32, God shows up with him in his running and meets with him, and they begin to wrestle in the wilderness. As they wrestle, an angel of the Lord wrestles with Jacob. He asks him the same question that his father asked him. He says, what's your name? This time, he answers, Jacob. The last time he was asked this question, he said Esau. This time, he's done pretending. He says, my name is Jacob. The Scripture says that God blessed him there, because there is a blessing that you can only receive through being honest. There is a blessing that you can only receive when you decide to be who God really created you to be. See, I want you to know today that God does not love the version of you that you created. He loves the version he created. That's the version God wants to counter. Jacob says, my name is Jacob, and the Lord blessed him there. What a beautiful moment of redemption to know that at any moment we can come before God and be completely honest. God, I've been pretending. I've been trying to have it all together. I've been wearing a mask. I've been showing up time and time again, trying to be something I'm not. But God, you created me. You know me. You know

exactly who I am, and you love that version of me. So God, when you ask me, you're my name. I'm going to tell you my name. See, you might be able to fool your kids. You might be able to fool your spouse. You might be able to fool your blind father, but you can't fool the father who created your eyes. He knows exactly who you are. And David says, if he knows you, what's the point of pretending? You see, I think dads, and maybe I'm stereotyping, but I think sometimes as men, we have a tendency to do this more. And I want you to know, even on this Father's Day weekend, that your kids don't need you to pretend. We're so wired to pretend to be strong, to pretend we have it all together, to pretend like we have all the answers. And then our kids start to grow up and they start to see through all those cracks, don't they? They see it anyway. And I've been really challenged because my kids don't need to see my strength. Why am I trying to build their confidence around my strength, my perfection, my ability? I want to be honest and show them my doubts and show them my fears and show them my struggles so that their confidence isn't in my strength, but in God's strength. It's what it means to stop pretending and to just be honest and allow them to experience the blessing of the Lord that comes from only from his hand when we get real with him. David says, you search me, you know me, you know my heart, you know when I sit, you know when I lie down. He says, if I go to the heavens, you're there. If I go to the depths, you're there. If I go to the edge of the sea, you're there. You created me in the depths. You knit me together in the secret place, God. That was all you. That was all you. And then he gets to the point where he says, and so if all that's true, if all that's true about you, God, I might as well be honest. And he says, can I tell you where I am right now? Because it's likely that David is writing the psalm while he was hiding in a cave from people who were trying to kill him. But even though he was hiding from people, I love that he refused to hide from God. And David begins to say, I hate these people who hate you, Lord. He starts processing what he's going through with the Lord. You see, David's trying to say, I don't want the evil that's happening to me to become evil within me. So I need to bring this to you, Lord. And he starts laying it all out there. He's being honest. See, I love that the Bible says that David was a man after God's own heart. I always wrestled with what that meant, because David had a lot of mistakes in his life, the infidelity, a lot of poor decisions that David made in his life. And yet scripture says he was a man after God's own heart. And I think as I read

this passage, I'm starting to realize more and more that what made David a man after God's own heart is that he was a man who was willing to let God into his. And I want to be like that. I want to be the type of person who says, God, come on and have all of me. So David starts saying, God, I'm just going to be honest. I hate them. I wish you would kill them. It's where I am right now. But this is not a message about authenticity, because David doesn't say all that to stay there. He brings it to God so God can lead him somewhere else. And he moves on from that place. And he ends with, search me, God, and know my heart. Test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there's any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting. God, in my running, would you find me? In my pretending, God, would you see me? In my hiding, God, would you know me? And God, would you lead me? It's interesting. This psalm ends similar to the way it begins. At the beginning of the psalm, David says, you have searched me, and you know me. Now he ends the psalm with saying, so search me, God, and know my heart. I wondered if David was saying it that way, because really, when it comes to being honest with God, it's not a one-time thing. It's a cycle. You searched me once before, God. You knew me once before. I need you to search me once again, know me once again. I wonder if that's the reason he ended the psalm the same way he started it. Or isn't it interesting that what he first declared as a fact about God, you have searched me, you know me, God, he now turns into an invitation. So search me, God, and know my heart. Test me, see, lead me, God. He says, God, I want to invite you in. I want to give you full access, because I want to experience full intimacy with you. What does that look like for us to approach God differently, not out of fear of what he might do when he sees us or catches us, not trying to run, not trying to hide, not trying to pretend, but to come before God and say, God, you already know. You already see. You're already with me. So here I am. And lay those things down at the altar. Would you stand to your feet as I close? And I know Well, we started this way, but one more time, would you make it a prayer? Would you say, search me, God? Search me, God. Tim Keller, he said,

to be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. Did you catch that? To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear, but to be fully known and truly loved, well, that's a lot like being loved by God. What do you need to bring to the Lord today? What have you been leaving out that you need to surrender in his presence today? What have you been trying to keep out of the story because it was too dark, too messy, too shameful? Maybe it felt too small, maybe it's too hard to... What were the things that you've been leaving out that you need to bring into God's presence today so that he can touch it, so that he can heal it, so that he can redeem it, so that he can set you free? Just with your hands out where you are right now, just bring that thing to mind. Not gonna make you tell your neighbor right now. It's not for them to know, but you can let your father know, can't you? Just lay that thing before him and say, God, I trust you. I trust your character. The things I believe about you lead me to the place where I can be confident, God, that you are compassionate enough and big enough and merciful enough that I can be real with you and bring these things to you. There's someone in the room,

it's so hard to show up to your married e-group and have conversations because you and your spouse haven't talked for three weeks. There's someone in the room who feels like they can't be used by God because you keep going back to the same thing over and over again. What's that thing that you've been trying to leave out? Would you bring it to the Father today? So Father, we wanna give you full access to our lives, full access to our hearts. You're the one who made us, you're the one who knows us, and you declared over us that we're fearfully and wonderfully made. You love us, Lord. You love us, Lord. So we don't have to hide and we don't have to be ashamed. We don't have to keep pretending to be something that we're not God. But Lord, we know that you bless us when we come before you just as we are. God, I wanna know your heart, and so today I invite you to know mine. Bring these things before you, God. I refuse to keep putting fur on my back. I refuse to keep trying to trick other people, God. Lord, I wanna come to you just as I am and ask that you would meet the real me, the version of me that you made in this place today. I don't know what's coming to mind for people in this room, God,

but with our hands out, we just lay them at the altar before you. And we ask, God, that these would be the places that you would touch, that you would heal, that you would minister to in your perfect presence today. Thank you, Lord. Right now, I wanna give an invitation to someone who's been running from God. You've never made a decision to place your faith in him. And maybe the message today was simply to let you know that you have a father in heaven who's never left your side. Maybe you thought you were too far gone. Maybe you thought the things that you've been through, the mistakes that you've made made you unlovable and that God couldn't find you there. But the word of the Lord for you today is that God's been there the whole time. And I wanna give you an invitation to make a decision to surrender your life to him. When you give your life to Jesus because of what he did for us on the cross, when he died for the forgiveness of our sin, it wiped the slate clean. His death on the cross is what makes you righteous because of what he did. And the Bible says that if you are in Christ one day, you're gonna get to heaven up and you're gonna stand before God. And God's not gonna bring up all the mistakes you made. He's gonna look at you and say,

well done, good and faithful servant. You're gonna be like, God, you left some things out. And he's like, no, no, no, no, no. Well done, good and faithful servant. Not because of anything we've done, but because of his grace, his mercy and the work of Jesus on the cross. If you've been far from God, you've been running, you've been hiding, you've been pretending, but today is your day to come into a relationship with your heavenly father who knows you, created you and loved you. I wanna give you an invitation to receive the gift of his grace and mercy. We're gonna pray out loud together as a church family today for the benefit of those who are making the decision to come to Christ. Can we pray together with heads bowed and eyes closed? Repeat after me, say, I believe that Jesus Christ is the son of God and the savior of the world. I believe he died and rose again to forgive my sin and give me life. I receive your grace by faith, come into my life and make me new. Heads still bowed, eyes still closed. If you just made that decision today, when I count to three, would you throw your hand up in the air? I wanna celebrate the work the Lord has done in your life today.

Don't hesitate. Even online, let us know in the chat. At other campuses, shoot your hand up in the air there too. One, two, three. Praise the Lord. God bless you. God bless you. Yeah, keep your hand up. God bless you.