How to Put God First in your Marriage

Welcome, welcome, welcome. Happy Sunday, Sunday, y'all. Yes, the last Sunday of our Love, Sex, and Marry series, y'all. I know, but I am so excited to hear that we're past your day again, past your list today. Yes, I'm excited, but also sad. It's like, it feels like the end of an era. You guys feeling the love in the air? Yes, for sure. Making sure that we're feeling the vibe in the church. Absolutely. Welcome into the room, if you're joining us. My name is Jozan, welcome in, and I get the privilege of serving as your online host today. And my name is Crystal, and I also have the honor and the privilege of serving as one of your online hosts today. And I'm Natalie. I get the honor and the privilege of serving today as one of your online hosts. And my name is Alistair. I get the honor and privilege of serving as an online host as well. Well, listen, shout out to you, our online family. Let us know where you're watching from. What are you thinking so far of the series? What are you expecting for, where are you expecting for God to move today?

Yes, let us know in the chat. We wanna celebrate this and just honor what you've been taking away from this series, what you've learned, and how you're gonna move forward now in this year as we continue to pursue being more like Christ. Yeah. Absolutely, what has been your biggest takeaway from this Love, Sex, and Marriage series? Oh my goodness, it's not you, it's me. I feel like the title itself has been like the word of the year for me. I'm like, you know what, it's really me. But I love that it has given me time to self-reflect and really look inward. I'm like, what am I needing to work on? What areas have God been trying to help me with? Like, I'm not gonna lie, I'm Trini, so I have an attitude sometimes and God is working on my attitude and he's working on areas where I'm still a little selfish. And I'm like, okay, God, it's really me. Yeah, I feel like one of my favorite parts of this series have been the after talk. Oh, yes. I feel like if the sermons have been the meat and the potatoes, the after talk has been like the cheesecake on top. It's like literally my favorite part of the series and just wrapping it all up

and getting to hear Pastor JJ's thoughts outside of just that moment in time of the sermon. We have a little bit more of expended time so he can explain a little bit more about what he meant about this or that. So that's been kind of my favorite part. I know, like last week's after talk, I'm not gonna lie, I feel like that was very encouraging, especially as a single person. Like, you know, sometimes we long for marriage and we're kind of struggling with like temptation and that area of like really remaining pure and giving our hearts to God. And I feel like just the reminder of, if you're spending time focusing on God, right, and loving him and being in that relationship with him, we're not thinking about the temptation, we're thinking more about, I love him so much, I can't do anything to hurt him, but focusing on that relationship and how good he's been to me. Like, if you're focused on dwelling on his goodness, you can't think about the other areas where you're struggling. Exactly, agreed. For me, the biggest takeaway was definitely reflecting with the Holy Spirit on areas and things that I have to change before I jump into a new relationship, because if I don't work on the things

that the Holy Spirit is revealing to me to work on, I'm gonna damage that relationship. So definitely my biggest takeaway was just having that vulnerability with the Holy Spirit, sitting down, facing those things that maybe I don't wanna face before coming into a relationship and just not working on the things that I should be working on. Absolutely. Yeah, you know, when I was hearing this whole message, I was just thinking about the chancleta, you know, a real deal. If you don't know what that is, that is a sandal, and I felt like I was getting hit with this word left and right, and if you know what I'm talking about, you know. You know. Drop like a slipper emoji in the chat if you've ever had a chancleta experience. You know, but really, I just love how our pastors went into the sexual desire aspect. I feel like that's something that we don't talk about a lot. It's always about refraining from things, but it's never showing us how or why or giving us the wisdom to maneuver in these avenues, so I just thought that was really real of our pastors to do, really honest, and I needed that as a single person because it's so hard to refrain from these things,

so just kudos to them because our pastors are amazing. They're real, and I feel like we need that because it's a real subject that we all struggle with, right, especially in a single season. It's very difficult, and it's not something to shy away from because if we're ever going to truly work on becoming more like Christ, we need to have these real, honest, transparent conversations because how do you expect growth without truth, and I really appreciate that. appreciate him going into that and being honest. Even the guest pastor who came, just being so vulnerable and letting us into their moments and into their lives. And if you think about it, when you are in a relationship with your parents, with your sisters, with your friends, with your partner, you're not thinking about, oh, I'm restricted. I can't do this and this and this because of this relationship. You are so happy in that relationship. You're dwelling in that relationship that hurting them doesn't even come to mind because you're so engaged in that relationship. That's how it should be with Jesus. You are dwelled into his presence and you're so focused on doing things in the relationship that nourish you. That sin is just something that's far away from your mind because you just wanna continue

developing that goodness in you. Yeah, absolutely. Well, guys, before we get into a moment of worship, I hope that this message touched you and you have been grabbing something from this podcast, but also from this sermon series. But before we get into that time of worship, I wanna transition into a time of prayer to open our hearts and opens our minds to receive what God has for us today. Father God, we just thank you for this time. We just thank you that you have given us the ability to just come and worship you. You have given us the ability to receive your word. So Lord, open our hearts and open our minds that we may receive what you have for us, Father. Lord, we just wanna be better and that counts in our relationships, Father, so we can be that stepping stone for our significant other, not a stumbling block. So Lord, continue to use us and guide us in this series, Father, in Jesus' name we pray, amen. Amen. What a beautiful prayer and I love that. Just let us know in the chat what areas we can be praying for you for, how we can just honor that. And if you feel like sharing this message, absolutely do so, it's gonna be a great word today. Maybe someone that you know may need to hear that.

But we're gonna transition to a time of worship. Prepare your heart and your space. Open up the room, let God in and just worship. And we'll see you after worship. Bye. Bye guys. Bye. Come on church, how we doing this morning? You guys ready to worship God? Come on, let's put our hands together. ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ God, we thank you ♪ ♪ So you make all things new ♪ Come on we sing this out. ♪ Taking off the heaviness ♪ ♪ And dancing out of my regrets ♪ ♪ And throwing caution to the wind ♪ ♪ Though I am not ashamed to praise like this ♪ ♪ Some may say it's foolishness ♪ ♪ But I say it's worth the risk ♪ ♪ I can't forget what Jesus did ♪ ♪ Though I am not ashamed to praise like ♪ Come on we sing. ♪ Where are those chains that once held me ♪ ♪ I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free ♪ ♪ My sin is gone, how can it be ♪ ♪ I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free ♪ ♪ And look at what the Lord has done ♪ ♪ I'm never going back to the way I was ♪ ♪ I'll sing, I'll dance, cause I believe ♪

♪ I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free ♪ Come on we sing this out. I found a friend. ♪ I found a friend who never quits ♪ ♪ I want to live as good as this ♪ ♪ I don't care what anyone says ♪ ♪ I'll never be ashamed to praise like this ♪ ♪ Where are those chains that once held me ♪ ♪ I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free ♪ ♪ My sin is gone, how can it be ♪ ♪ I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free ♪ ♪ And look at what the Lord has done ♪ ♪ I'm never going back to the way I was ♪ ♪ I'll sing, I'll dance, cause I believe ♪ ♪ I'm free, I'm free, thank God I'm free ♪ ♪ You took the cross and you broke your body ♪ ♪ You shed your blood, now the sinner can't see ♪ ♪ My debt is paid and my record is clean ♪ ♪ I couldn't do it so you did it for me ♪ ♪ You took the cross and you broke your body ♪ ♪ You shed your blood, now the sinner can't see ♪ ♪ My debt is paid and my record is clean ♪ ♪ I couldn't do it so you did it for me ♪ ♪ You took the cross and you broke your body ♪ ♪ You shed your blood, now the sinner can't see ♪ ♪ My debt is paid and my record is clean ♪ ♪ I couldn't do it so you did it for me ♪ ♪ Only He can do it, only God can do it ♪ ♪ I couldn't do it so you did it for me ♪ ♪ Where are those chains that once held me? ♪

♪ I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free ♪ ♪ My sin is gone, I can't make it ♪ ♪ I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free ♪ ♪ Look at what the Lord has done ♪ ♪ I'm never going back to the way I was ♪ ♪ I'll sing, I'll dance, dance, I'll believe ♪ ♪ I'm free, I'm free, thank God, I'm free ♪ ♪ You took the cross and you broke your body ♪ ♪ You shed your blood, now the sinner can't see ♪ ♪ My debt is paid and my record is clean ♪ ♪ I couldn't do it so you did it for me ♪ ♪ You took the cross and you broke your body ♪ ♪ You shed your blood, now the sinner can't see ♪ ♪ My debt is paid and my record is clean ♪ ♪ I couldn't do it so you did it for me ♪ ♪ I couldn't do it so you did it for me ♪ ♪ I couldn't do it so you did it for me ♪ ♪ I couldn't do it so you did it for me ♪ ♪ I couldn't do it, come on, look ♪ ♪ And look at what the Lord has done ♪ ♪ I'm never going back to the way I was ♪ ♪ Look at what the Lord has done ♪ ♪ I'm never going back to the way I was ♪ ♪ Look at what the Lord has done ♪ ♪ I'm never going back to the way I was ♪ ♪ Look at what the Lord has done ♪ ♪ Look at what the Lord has done ♪ ♪ I'm never going back to the way I was ♪ ♪ I'm never going back to the way I was ♪ ♪ Ooh yes I did, Jesus, I'm worthy, God I'm worthy of praise ♪

We're never going back because we've tasted and seen your goodness. We've seen your faithfulness in our lives, God. So we just wanna be in awe of your presence, be still in your presence and just take it all in. We love you, Jesus. We praise your name. ♪ Who thought I'd find you at the lowest place ♪ ♪ Who thought you'd feel me in the crowd ♪ ♪ Who knew you'd make good of my mistakes ♪ ♪ You're nothing like I thought, or were you better ♪ ♪ What a God, what a God, ooh, what a God, what a God ♪ ♪ Ooh, what a God, what a God, ooh, what a God, what a God ♪ ♪ Ooh, what a God, what a God, ooh, what a God, what a God ♪ ♪ Hey, I thought you'd show a forked affection ♪ ♪ What kind of God looks for the lost ♪ ♪ They say it's over for the sinner, but you said it's not ♪ ♪ No, it's not, no, it's not, you said it's not, no, it's not ♪ ♪ What a God, what a God, what a God, what a God ♪ ♪ What a God, what a God, it's who you are ♪ ♪ What a God, what a God, what a God you are ♪ ♪ Oh, we praise you you are everything we need ♪ ♪ No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no ♪ ♪ No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no ♪ ♪ No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no ♪ ♪ If the best thing that I've seen is your glory ♪ ♪ Then I've seen it all ♪ ♪ Your love has changed my life forever satisfied now ♪ ♪ Oh, we praise you you are everything we need ♪ ♪ You are my everything ♪

♪ If the highest place I reach is at your feet ♪ ♪ Then I'll turn it on ♪ ♪ If the best thing that I've seen is your glory ♪ ♪ Then I've seen it all ♪ ♪ Your love has changed my life forever satisfied now ♪ ♪ You are my everything ♪ ♪ Your word is the only thing ♪ ♪ Then I'll turn it on and I'll feel your heart ♪ ♪ And never see your hand ♪ ♪ I still have it all, your treasure of this life ♪ ♪ Forever satisfied now you are my everything ♪ ♪ You are, you are my everything ♪ ♪ You are my everything ♪ ♪ What a God, what a God ♪ ♪ What a God, what a God ♪ ♪ What a God, what a God ♪ ♪ What a God, what a God ♪ ♪ In the highest place I reach is at your feet ♪ ♪ Then I'll turn it on, then I'll turn it on ♪ ♪ If the best thing that I've seen is your glory ♪ ♪ Then I've seen it all, your love has changed my life ♪ ♪ Forever satisfied now you are my everything ♪ ♪ Your love is the only thing that's giving all, giving all ♪ ♪ And I feel your heart and never see your hand ♪ ♪ I still have it all, your treasure of this life ♪ ♪ You're heaven satisfied, God, you are my everything ♪ ♪ You are my everything, oh, you are my everything ♪ ♪ What a God, you are my everything, oh, you are my everything ♪ What a God, what a God. I really am just so in awe of who God is

and just knowing that he is truly our everything. As we go into a time of prayer, I do want to bring up a prayer request from one of our online viewers. The prayer request, it says, I am going through a lot of mental thoughts and I'm going through a hard time and have my mind, or want to leave, have these thoughts leave my mind alone. And I really want us to come in agreement with this prayer request. So if you feel comfortable, go ahead and join us in this time of prayer. Father God, we just thank you so much for who you are. We thank you that you are a God who loves us, who sees us, who cares, God. And I just pray for healing over these mental thoughts that our online viewer is going through. And I just pray for anyone else who is struggling with mental thoughts, who are just having a hard time, God, letting go of difficult situations, bring them peace, be their comfort, be their strength. We thank you so much for your love and your son's precious name we pray, amen. Amen. Amen and amen. If you have a prayer request, we would love to pray over you. You can scan the QR code at the bottom

or you can go to journeyoral.com slash prayer and we would love to pray over you. If we haven't had the honor and the privilege of meeting, my name is Crystal and I am one of your online hosts today. And I'm Jozan and I get the honor and privilege of serving as your host today. I'm Natalie. I serve you here today as an online host. And I'm Alistair and I get the honor and privilege of serving as an online host as well. And we are so excited for you, our online community. Shout out to everyone watching on the app, on YouTube. We're so happy that you're joining us here today. Yeah, and we also want to give a special shout out to everybody that is currently incarcerated in prisons, in jails all over the world. We love you. You are chosen and we see you. We're so glad you are here with us today. Absolutely. And if you found us by chance or someone shared this with you on your first time here, we just want to celebrate that with you. Welcome. Drop an FTG in the chat so that we know it's your birthday. FTG!

We also want to encourage you, whether you are a first-time guest or you have been coming to Journey for quite some time now, you want to get plugged in, you want to serve in your church, we invite you to go to Next Steps. Next Steps is a great opportunity for you to get plugged into church, plugged into community, and you can use your God-given gifts to serve God here at Journey Church. There's so many teams here that you can serve, so please, if you would like to serve here on a team, don't hesitate to just scan the QR code or go to journeyorl.com slash Next Steps. And speaking of getting plugged in and connected here at Journey, we encourage you to go ahead and join our app. We have a Journey ORL app. You can find it on Apple, you can find it on Google Play, and that's just a way for you to get to know the people who serve your church who are also online just like you. Maybe they're in other states, it's a good way to put in prayer requests, it's a good way just to find how you can partner with us in generosity. So it's just a really good hub for you to find all things Journey.

Yeah, and speaking of community and finding that, because of this community, because of this church, you guys have made it possible to give in so many different avenues. And actually, I have a generosity story right here. And out of one in four people globally, that's 2.1 billion people, they still lack access to safely manage drinking water. Journey, because of your generosity, we were able to fund the construction of a well in the community of Kenya, where many families previously struggled to access cleaning water. So I just wanna say thank you, first of all. We also have a message from Pastor Joseph to you guys as well. And it says, by the grace of God, I'm happy to share wonderful news with you. The pump has now been successfully installed and we finally have water flowing. It will serve not only our church members, but also the surrounding community. We have already seen the joy and hope that this water has brought to the church and the community. It is not just water, but a sign of God's love and your kindness and action. Lives are being touched, health is improving, and the community is encouraged because of what your church has done. We love you, Journey Church.

Wow, that is so beautiful. Well, if you wanna partner with us and you are touched by stories like this, you can scan the QR code below, you can go to the Journey Church app, or you can go to journeyorl.com forward slash give so you can partner with us today. Wow, Journey, what a beautiful story. Thank you so much again for your generosity. If you feel more generous, share this message. But as we transition into time of worship and prayer, we just want you to prepare your heart and your space and we'll see you after service. Bye. At this time, we wanna welcome our online Kissimmee and East locations with us into worship, come on. All over this room, wherever you're at, just wanna invite you to lift your hands. God, we're so grateful for who you are in our lives. Come on, we sing. ♪ There was no way until you made the way ♪ ♪ Grace upon grace, hallelujah ♪ ♪ Even though I don't deserve it, you did it ♪ ♪ Even though I couldn't earn it, you give it ♪ Come on, we sing. ♪ Who am I that you keep me on your mind, God ♪ ♪ I'm just grateful for you, God, I'm just grateful for you ♪ ♪ All my life, you've been right here by my side, God ♪ ♪ I'm just grateful for you, God, I'm just grateful for you ♪

♪ I'm just grateful for you, I'm grateful, holy, holy ♪ ♪ There's only one, I give you glory for all that you've done ♪ ♪ Even though I don't deserve it, you did it ♪ ♪ Even though I couldn't earn it, you give it ♪ ♪ Who am I that you keep me on your mind, God ♪ ♪ I'm just grateful for you, God, I'm just grateful for you ♪ ♪ All my life, you've been right here by my side, God ♪ ♪ I'm just grateful for you, God, I'm just grateful for you ♪ ♪ God I'm just grateful for you ♪ ♪ Who am I that you keep me on your mind God ♪ ♪ I'm just grateful for you God I'm just grateful for you ♪ ♪ All my life you've been right here by my side God ♪ ♪ I'm just grateful for you God I'm just grateful for you ♪ ♪ I'm just grateful for you God I'm just grateful for you ♪ Come on, if you've got a praise in your lungs, if you've got something to thank God for, in advance, could you just sing this out? ♪ I'm lifting both of my hands ♪ ♪ Cause you give me chance after chance after chance ♪ ♪ And I'm giving all that I am ♪ ♪ Cause you give me chance after chance after chance ♪ ♪ And I'm lifting both of my hands ♪ ♪ Cause you give me chance after chance after chance ♪ ♪ I'm giving all that I am ♪ ♪ Cause you give me chance after chance after chance ♪ ♪ Who am I that you keep me on your mind God ♪ ♪ I'm just grateful for you God I'm just grateful for you ♪ ♪ All my life you've been right here by my side God ♪ ♪ I'm just grateful for you God I'm just grateful for you ♪ ♪ Who am I that you keep me on your mind God ♪

♪ I'm just grateful for you God I'm just grateful for you ♪ ♪ God I'm just grateful for you God I'm just grateful for you ♪ ♪ All my life you've been right here by my side God ♪ ♪ I'm just grateful for you God I'm just grateful for you ♪ ♪ I survived and I'm here to testify God ♪ ♪ I'm just grateful for you God I'm just grateful for you ♪ ♪ I'm all right if they say I'm out of my mind God ♪ ♪ I'm just grateful for you God I'm just grateful for you ♪ Be grateful this morning. Grateful for what God has done in your life. Grateful for who the Lord is. You know I remember when I first heard this song I was listening to it in the back patio of my house and my patio is alongside the kind of like the sidewalk it's in the back of my house and the sidewalk is right next to it and there's a screen around my patio and it's you know it's one of those like bug screens so you can see, you can hear and I have my couch there usually I have my devotional time with the Lord but I was listening to the song for the first time I had the lyrics out and I was man it was just ministering to me and I remember that line came if they say I'm out of my mind and when I said that I opened my eyes for a second and the moment I said that line just screaming hands raised there was a dude in two chihuahuas

just squawking and I'm like if they say I'm he's like and how many people know at that moment I had a choice you know what I'm talking about I was like if they say I'm out of my mind and I saw him and I could have either pulled it in or I could have let it go and so I seen him and I seen the chihuahuas and then I looked at the next line and I was like I might as well explain I might as well let them know I'm not crazy I'm just grateful I'm just grateful if you knew my story I know it seems crazy but if you knew what I've been through if you knew where I came from if you knew how broken I was how empty I was how pointless my life was how purposeless I was come on I dare you to embarrass yourself this morning to lift up your hands and if your neighbor got any questions just let them know you don't know what I've been through You don't know what it took to show up at church this morning!

I'm not crazy! I'm not crazy! I'm not crazy! I'm just... I'm not crazy! I'm just... I'm not crazy! I'm not crazy! I'm not crazy! I'm not crazy! I'm not crazy! I'm not crazy! I'm not crazy! I'm not crazy! I'm.. I'm not... Freakin'... God, I'm just grateful for you I'll survive And I'm here to testify God, I'm just grateful for you Here we go, here we go God, I'm just grateful for you Here we go I'm alright If they say I'm out of my mind God, I'm just grateful for you God, I'm just grateful for you Come on, if you're grateful one more time Give us some praise

Come on, I want you to pray so loud Your neighbor gets a little concerned for your well-being Man, is this guy alright? You don't know what he did in my life Come on, over in East Orlando, Kissimmee Get crazy for Jesus Let him know what God did in your life Thank you, Jesus For your goodness, your faithfulness Your mercy, your peace Ain't nobody like you, Lord Forgive me if I make my neighbor a little uncomfortable I'm just... I'm just grateful I know where I should be today And church is not that place But the life that I've lived And the choices that I've made How many people know you should not be in church today Like with the... I mean, you should be here But I'm just looking at the trajectory of your life There's about a million innate reasons why we shouldn't But we're here And it's not because we're good And it's not because we're strong It's not because we're smart It's not because we're righteous It's because God is good And God is strong

And God is righteous And God is faithful Amen Amen Before you take a seat, I want you to find three people You didn't drive to church with today Tap them on the shoulder, give them a high five And tell them, I'm just grateful Come on, give them a high five, tell them I'm just grateful I'm just grateful I'm just grateful Amen Amen Who's excited to be in church today? Come on And we're listening If we haven't had the opportunity to meet yet My name is JJ And alongside my wife Liz We have the honor and the privilege of serving Journey Church As its lead pastors And if you didn't know that That means you are most likely a first time guest And we are so glad that you chose to be with us today If you're looking for a home church, look no further We think you walked into it this morning Not only because you're surrounded by the presence of God But because you are surrounded by some of the most amazing Honest, open, and transparent people in all of Central Florida

Journey Church, will you prove me right by putting your hands together And welcoming all of our first time guests one more time Keep it going for Journey Church Online Keep it going for Journey East Orlando meeting at University High School And keep it going now, a month in for Journey Kazemi Meeting at Gateway High School What's up y'all And finally, keep it going for all those who are currently incarcerated Watching in jails and prisons Throughout the United States I know there was somebody locked up right now Who was just like, God I'm just grateful Come on, get the correction officers to run over to you He's alright, I'm just grateful, I'm not trying to break out I'm just grateful, amen, amen Well, if you're new to our church You just started visiting today We are in the final installment of a four part collection of talks A sermon series called, It's Relationships It's on love, sex, and marriage Called, It's Not You, It's It's Not You, It's Me, It's Me And if you're new to Journey Church Then you would not know that every love, sex, and marriage series We always end it by team teaching That's two people, teaching at the same time team time. And I am honored today to be able to say that the person sharing the stage with me and for the last nine years doing this series

is none other than Mrs. Pastor Liz Vasquez, my wife. Yes. Amen. How you doing, girlfriend? I'm good, how are you? Doing well. I'm looking at that lamp because they just told me it's broken, so you gotta be careful when you start moving around. That lamp's broken? Yep, mm-hmm. All right, good to know. All right. Behind the scenes. We're so glad that you're here, so glad that we get to do this together. I love you, I love teaching with you. You're amazing. I want you to know before we begin, it's not you. It's me, all right? Same. It's always been me, and I'm sorry about that. All right. I'm really excited to teach to you today. I know we both are. Something you need to know, might not know, kind of behind the scenes. Speaking about behind the scenes, it's a lot of these sermons get prepared months in advance.

Maybe not all of the content within them, the illustrations or things like that, but definitely the topics. And I wanted you to know that because the topic that we're gonna preach about today is actually something that we were not planning on sharing. We were gonna talk to you today on communication, which is important. Yes, very important. While we're talking about communication, getting ready to talk about it, on Monday morning, God was communicating to us, and he was like, I'm gonna change the topic. And so, no lie, this was seven days notice. That's something we normally do. That's not something we normally do. Yeah, they said it is something we normally do. I was like, not me. I don't normally do that. Yeah, that's not something we normally do. And I love that. I love when God calls on audible because I think the next play is gonna be better than whatever play we had planned. But if I were you, I'd also be excited because that means that God knew you'd be here today, and that the message that he has is for you. And so, I want you to lean in. I know we're gonna lean in. I'm pumped about it.

If you're just with us for the first time this year, you should also know that we've been in a vision. We had a vision for this year. Jesus' words in Mark, follow me. And this phrase, follow me, it's really two things. Number one, it is a radical realignment with the teachings of Jesus. It is like saying, I'm gonna see how Jesus lived his life, and I'm gonna live the way Jesus lived his life. I'm gonna talk like Jesus, walk like Jesus. And I think that's so important because I think there are a lot of people in the world who believe in God but don't follow Jesus. They don't do life the way Jesus teaches us to do life. And so, hopefully this year, we look a lot like Jesus, more than we did when the year started. But it's also a radical reintroduction to the person of Jesus. That is that Jesus is not just a guy that hung on a cross. He is someone who can live in your heart. He is someone that you can have a relationship with. When we said follow me, the first step to follow me, I preached this back in January, is actually be with me. The call to discipleship was to leave family, friends, job, career, and to move in with Jesus. Now, this is what happens when we become Christians, is that Jesus moves in with us. But we still gotta leave some things. And so, that be with me, this is the point

where getting into relationships, there's a difficulty. If you recall, in this series, I've been saying that being single isn't any harder than being married. And being married isn't any harder than being single. They're both equally hard, they're just hard in different ways. Well, today I wanna highlight one of the things that are difficult about relationships in the context of being with Jesus. And I wanna highlight it because the Bible highlights it. Paul says, here's our opening scripture in 1 Corinthians chapter seven, verse six, kind of set what we're gonna be talking about. He says this, I say this as a concession, not as a command. So, concession means like a suggestion. Concession means, because I know who you are, I say this. But what I'm about to say, I don't want you to think that this is like, you have to do this. But I'm just letting you know that it's kind of like this. Verse seven through eight, Paul says, but I wish everyone were single. Wow, just as I am, shout out single people. Yet each person has a special gift from God of one kind or another. Verse eight, so I say to those who are married and to widows, it's better to stay unmarried just as I am. If you're single, say, it's better. It's better. You did not with faith, you did not. They're like, it's better.

Someone said, it's all right. Not about better. Bible says it's better. Now, it's not saying that being single is better because being married is a problem. It's saying being single is better because in marriage, being married is a tension. How many people know this? There's a difference between a problem and attention. A problem is something that can be solved because it can go away. But attention is something in your life that will never go away. And it's not to be solved, it's to be managed. If you're taking notes, you can write this down. Problems are solved, tensions are managed. And if you don't know that, you're trying to fix things in your life that were never meant to be fixed. Or in someone else's life that were never meant to be fixed. And so I'm gonna give you some examples of tensions and marriages. We're gonna play a little game called, is it tension or is it marriage? Marriage. Is it tension or is it a problem? All right. Because marriage and manage, marriage and manage is close to each other. Are you okay?

We'll talk about it later. I'm happily married, girl. And it is not a problem. We're joking. It's attention, but it's not a problem. All right, so we're gonna play a game called, is it attention or is it a problem? Pastor Liz and I are gonna give you some examples and then you shout if it's attention to be managed or a problem to be solved. Y'all with me? Yeah. So the first one is one person's a spender and the other one is a saver. Tension or problem? Yes. They don't know, babe. They don't know. Yeah, they don't know. Tell them what it is. So it's attention. It's not a problem. It's attention. Someone's like, no, that's a problem. And it's not. It's attention because that's actually the way God wired that other person. And if you lean into it, you'll actually experience a more balanced way of life than if you tried to change that person.

If you are a spender, you need a saver in your life who can be like, stop getting Starbucks all the time. Let's make some coffee at home. It's the same, it tastes better in the red cup. They tricked you. It's the coffee. It's just coffee. Take the red cup home. Take the red cup home, fill it with coffee. You'll be great. But if you're a saver, you need a spender in your life to be like, we haven't been on vacation in five years. We need to go somewhere and we need to spend some money and we need to eat good when we go out there. So it's attention to manage. And when you lean into it, the product is actually better than this. So don't try and fix that person. You've got to compromise together. Does that make sense? It's attention to manage. The next one is one person spends a lot of money without consulting with the other. Yeah, now that's a problem. Now that's a problem. All right, that's a problem. Here's another one. Tension or a problem. One person in the relationship thinks

that the house thermostat should be set to 72. The other person in the relationship, y'all didn't even let me finish the question. The other person in the relationship thinks that the thermostat should be set to frozen food section of the grocery store. Problem or attention? That's attention. Why is it attention? Because you're not going to change them. God made them to run hot. God made them to run cold. And if you don't figure out how to manage that tension, it's going to become a problem. But if you accept it for the tension that it is, then you get creative. Maybe we're going to sleep with the air at a certain temperature and the fan on. Or sleep in a hoodie. Yeah, a hoodie. Or we're going to have three layers of blankets, you know? Or whatever we got to do. Now, is this attention or a problem? One person sets the thermostat, then buys a lockbox, puts it on the thermostat, and is the only one to have a key. Tension or problem? That's a problem because now you're being selfish. That's a problem because now you're taking what should be ours and making it mine.

And so now that's a problem. And listen to me. Some things in a relationship don't need to be fixed. Some things are just different. And maturity is learning the difference between what God wants you to fix in someone and what God wants you to love about someone. And so there is a tension in being married. There is a tension in being married. There are poor highlights. Remember, tension, it cannot be fixed and it cannot be changed. And here is the tension, Genesis 2.24. This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife and the two are united into one. So here's one reality that cannot be changed. Two become one. Two become one. All right? Say two. Become one. But now here's the tension. 1 Corinthians 7.32. This is why Paul says it's better to be unmarried. Why Paul says I prefer to be single. Here it is. Here's gonna explain now why he said that. Because as an unmarried man, you can spend his time doing the Lord's work and thinking how to please him.

But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. His interests are divided. In a same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions. On you, I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best with as few distractions as possible Now here's the tension of being married can't be solved, but it needs to be managed It's the title of our message and it's the tension that we want to address How do two? become one without one becoming number one How did two become one without one becoming number one because when you get married you start to realize there's some tension You might be the wife and you might want to get up early to spend time with the Lord and the moment you get Out of bed getting ready to spend time with the Lord your husband follows you and asks you for a cup of coffee You might be a husband who comes home from work Exhausted and you want to do the good thing you want to come home You want to open up your Bible and get into your word and the moment you open up your Bible She sits next to you and talks to talk to you about her day All right Maybe maybe one of you started going to church and the other one did it and you believe in tithing you're the spouse you believe In tithing your husband doesn't you want to please the Lord by putting him first in your finances? But you also don't want to get your husband mad

What do I do or you're a husband and you love serving and you love being in small groups and you love going on outreach But your wife has a hard time understanding why you won't take any of that extra time and invest it in her instead Or maybe you start dating and you really like that person You think that they don't want but as you begin to pursue them You can start feeling that inside of you your pursuit for God is beginning to dwindle What do you do? How do you keep to from being the one when to become one? Matthew 22 37 38 says Jesus replied love the Lord your what? Your God with all your heart with all your soul with all your mind. This is the what? First and greatest commandment now what I love about this that I never realized before is What comes right before this passage? It's important to know that when you see chapters and verses in the Bible We added that to know where things are but when the Bible was written It didn't have chapters and verses it was written as one whole story And so when you read it as one whole story right before Jesus says the love of the Lord your God first right before that Someone asks Jesus the question. Do you know what the question that Jesus is asked? They're asked is who is their marriage in heaven? This is what she's who is it was this whole story about this this wife who? Married married somebody then they died and then in Hebrew times and the brother was supposed to take on the wife So that the wife had someone to provide for her and then someone asked in heaven whose wife is she gonna be and then? Jesus comes in and he asked he just cuts it completely off. He says there is no marriage in heaven and Then he says love the Lord your God, which is awesome because Jesus doesn't see the question Jesus sees the heart behind the question Jesus sees the art he goes. Oh, oh you think that being married is the peak of pleasure? That makes sense why you would ask who you're gonna be married to in heaven because you think that it wouldn't be heaven without that person and Jesus is like I just need you to know that it's heaven not because they're there but because I'm there I am the peak of pleasure and I pray that you find that now on earth That I am that we were at Southeastern University this past week, and it was a move of God And it was an outpouring of the Holy Spirit was beautiful, and I saw my wife

She was praying I was praying when I looked at her for a second She just looks so beautiful you ever see somebody and like light shine on I was looking at her She was on knees. She was like and it was like light. It was like a holy Light spiritual moment and as beautiful as she looked I could not help but close my eyes Because someone more beautiful was in the room in the car ride home. I told her I said, babe I think I get it now as much as I love you as beautiful as you are No one can hold the candle to the presence and the beauty of God. I get it now He is the point of heaven fellas. You got to make sure listen that your girl don't become your God Ladies you got to make sure that you do don't become your deity Married people you have to make sure that the partner of your life does not become the center of your life Because if you get the order wrong it all comes crumbling down my parents are buying a house right now Some land and they're doing some construction and my dad sent me a picture recently the foundation was laid And he's really excited about the foundation, and I don't know if you've ever seen upon. It's just a big slab of concrete He's like this is so great the foundations really and the next thing that's gonna come up is the walls and guess what the walls Are made of Wood the walls are made of wood. The foundation is made of concrete How many people know we can't get that twisted? We can't have the walls made of concrete and the floor made of wood because if that happens then the weight of the thing that You are building will collapse on the weight of the thing that you built it on if you get the order wrong Between God and people you are building concrete on wood It's not gonna last God needs to be the foundation He needs to be the one the first and then build everything else on top of yeah, God has to be number one Yeah, that's the problem and but how do we know if we really? have the problem. How do I know if my spouse is becoming number one? So I'm gonna give you three questions that you need to ask yourself, so that you know if that person, if the spouse is becoming number one. And the first one is, are they carrying me?

Are they carrying me? And to be specific, do I expect them to carry the burden of making me happy, whole, and complete? And when I thought of this idea as we were preparing for this, I thought, well, doesn't the Bible say we're supposed to carry each other's burdens? And so I was like, I need to read this Bible verse, because I know the Bible says that. And so why can I not allow my spouse to carry me? So let's read Galatians 6, 2. It says, carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. But then it says, each one should test their own actions, for each one should carry their own load. So that's when I realized the difference. There's a difference between a burden and a load. And God is saying, we're supposed to carry each other's burdens, but we have to carry our own load. Our load is our responsibility. So what is a burden? A burden is something so heavy that you can't carry yourself. That's like grief, illness, crisis, things that are happening around you, like outside of your control. But your load is your responsibility. That's the inside, your wholeness, your hope, your joy, your happiness.

Your happiness is your responsibility, not your spouse's. And so this actually played out this week in our relationship. I suffer from back issues. I have scoliosis I've dealt with since I was a teenager, but most recently I found out that I have some bulging disc and it's pinching nerves and it's very painful. And so I started this treatment a couple of weeks ago and they told me it might get worse before it gets better. Well, it probably, I would say, got the worst this past Monday. I came home in tears and pain. She's pretty tough. Yes, I'm like, I bench press all that stuff, but this day it was just bad. But I came home, I was in tears, and I came to my husband, and I'm like, babe, I need you to help me with the kids. Can you help me with the laundry? Can you just get some food, take the kids to jujitsu? Whatever he could do to help me, but he couldn't help me what was going on on the inside. I got really sad. I felt really down. And so I realized something about this verse is the load. I had to take care of my load, my happiness, my joy. And I just realized as a husband, I could help with dinner, but I couldn't help with depression.

That's something that only her and the Lord can work out. He could pray for me, but he couldn't pray for me. He can't pray on my behalf. So while he was out taking the kids to wherever they needed to be, I was at home on my knees just praying, crying out to God because I needed to get okay with God. I needed to work on myself. So that's my question to you. Are you putting the burden on your spouse to make you happy? Are you expecting them to carry you? Are you expecting them to fix your emotional wellbeing and for their world to revolve around you? And if you're single, this works for you too. Learn to start carrying your load now. Don't expect your coworkers or your friends or your mom or your dad to carry that load for you. You gotta learn that now so that you don't carry that into the relationship. And that's the first one. The second one is, am I putting their happiness over God's? Do I care more about making them happy than making God happy? And who is the one I'm okay with pleasing and who's the one I'm okay with disappointing? When you read in Matthew 22 that he just read earlier, the disciples asked Jesus, what is the most important commandment? And he said, you must love the Lord your God

with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind. And then he says this. This is the first and greatest commandment, but then he says the second is equally important. Love your neighbor as yourself. So you love God, but just as important, you love your spouse. But love the Lord your God is not a verse about value. He's not saying that you value one over the other. It's about priority. He's saying God goes first, then your spouse, then your kids. And JJ doesn't love me less because he loves God first. He loves me best because he loves God first. And because the order is that way, he wouldn't do something to make my kids happy that would make me sad, but in the same way, he wouldn't do something to make me happy that would make God sad. And so there's things that God is gonna ask you to do that's gonna make your spouse sad, but it's gonna make God happy. And it's difficult to deal with. And so when I think about this idea, I think about my grandmother. So I won't make a long story short, but my grandmother, her and my grandfather lived in Puerto Rico. And so when they were newly married, they were in their 20s, she was battling cancer.

And back then in PR, like there was no medical advancements to help people with cancer. And so my grandfather sold all his Spanish grocery stores, they're called bodegas. He sold everything and moved to New York to help her find some relief, like find doctors that would be able to help her. They did all that. They came, he became a dishwasher and a taxi driver just to help her and none of that worked. And so they were at the end of their rope, ready to commit. at suicide because they just didn't know what to do anymore. And so these two ladies come knocking on the door, preaching the gospel, like I wish people would do that, like they did back in the day, came to her door, and they preached the gospel to her, and they asked her if she believed in Jesus, and she started a relationship with God, and they asked her if she believed that God would heal her. And God miraculously healed her, and my grandmother lived till she was like in her 80s, glory to God, but what's crazy about that story is that she fell so in love with God, she wanted to do everything that the Word said, and so she started going to church. And even though my grandfather was grateful that God healed her, he didn't want her going to church. He was a good man, but he was also a drunk, so there would be times when these ladies

would take my grandmother to church, and he would follow them to church, and then drunk, he would open the doors to the church, and yell, you're all hypocrites, and he would slam the door, like it was wild, my grandfather was crazy, but my grandmother never stopped going to church, and she kept doing what the Word said, and pleasing God, and there's a Bible verse that says that a wife can win her husband over by her conduct, and so that's what she did. She kept on her knees praying, and she kept going to church, and years passed of her doing this, but I can testify that my grandfather finally made a decision to follow Christ, and I wouldn't honestly be here today if it wasn't for that woman deciding that she was gonna please God over her husband, so what does that look like? For some of us, maybe we try to please our spouse by not attending church, or maybe being in community, or maybe you are in a relationship right now, and you feel like asking that person to make the commitment to marry you instead of just living together is gonna make them mad, but if they don't wanna put a ring on it, and if they don't wanna commit, then you have to walk away, because you gotta please God more than you please that person,

and we're real and honest here at Journey Church. Maybe it's sometimes making your spouse happy is inviting someone else into the bedroom. Let's be honest. That's going to make God sad, and eventually what happens is the things that make God sad will eventually make y'all sad, because it's gonna tear your marriage apart. I've seen it before, and you have to understand that the things that God asks us to do is for our good and for the good of our marriages. He truly wants you to be happy, and all you have to do is do his will and make him happy, and so the last one is, does the thought of losing them produce debilitating anxiety? Now, I put debilitating anxiety because sometimes it's scary to lose your spouse, but this one's the one that hits harder for me, actually. Yeah, this is my thing. To be honest, I almost felt like I wasn't even fit to preach this because I struggle with this. It's like, y'all, it's so bad. You know how moms be checking on their kids to see if they're still breathing when they're sleeping? Yeah, she's like, yes, but I do that to him, okay? In the middle of the night, I'll be asleep, and then she'll be like, are you okay, are you okay, are you here?

I'm like, I was okay, I was okay, I'm not okay now. I do this, and I don't know if it's my trauma because I lost a child, I don't know. Sometimes, I have to go to, that's when I know I have to go to therapy. It's like, something's happening, but I know that's happening and it's not good because I'm making my spouse my foundation. First Corinthians 3, 10 through 11 says, by the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as a wise builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one should build with care, for no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. And so, Jesus has to be the foundation like he was talking about earlier. Then, your spouse is someone else who is building on it. Why? Because if you lose them for a moment, maybe not physically, but they go through some type of crisis, or your relationship falls apart, or your relationship goes through some type of crisis. Because you have laid Jesus Christ as your foundation, then you can rebuild it easily. It won't be as hard. But if the foundation is not right, then it's gonna all fall apart. And that happened to us because,

for those of you who don't know, but my husband struggled with pornography addiction. We talked about it last year when we sat on this same couch. And it was because of the fact that we had Jesus as our foundation that we were able to not easily rebuild, but easier than it would have been if we didn't have the correct foundation. Because it needs to be healthy dependence on spouse, but ultimate dependence on God. So, where is your foundation? And this is not just for married people. Because if you're single, and the thought of even finding your spouse makes you anxious, like the thought of you finding them stresses you out, then when you do get them, you're gonna be anxious about even losing them. I wrote it this way. Are you anxiously awaiting the arrival of your spouse? Because then you will be anxiously afraid of losing them. That's a bar. Single people, that's a bar. You need to tattoo that on your feet. Something like that, that's a bar. All right, so what do we do? Maybe you heard those things and you were like, ah, she got me, like, yeah, I think I might have that person as an idol in my life. What do I do, how can we help?

All right, because married people right now are probably like, I'm cooked, I should just be single, and that's just, I'm gonna lose it with God. And I just want you to know, it's totally possible. It's totally possible to be married and be completely in love with God. The person who wrote 1 Corinthians, his name was Paul, and he was single. But there was another apostle by the name of Peter, and he was married, and he pursued the Lord with all of his heart. There was someone else in the Old Testament named David, King David, who the Bible says, two different places in the Bible was a man who was after the heart of God, after God's own heart. And he was married, and so it's definitely possible. And I'm gonna give you two things, and Pastor Liz is gonna give you two things, and then we'll close today. And so two things you can do, whether you're married or single, single to prepare for that person, married today to make sure that that person doesn't become number one, is you don't make your spouse first, but listen, but you make your spouse your first ministry. Make your spouse your first ministry. Raise your hand if you've ever heard this at any point in church, if you've ever attended church, that your spouse is your first ministry.

You ever heard that before? Let's see a couple of hands, we can raise up people who grew up in church. Where is that in the Bible? I think it's important. Because you know what? You're not gonna find that verse. And this is a little side note, I can go off on this tangent for a long time, but just make sure that anything you ever heard growing up is in the Bible. I could talk about this for a long time. We got a lot of TikTok pastors now, we got a lot of Instagram pastors right now. I'm not saying they're good or bad, I'm saying, where is it in the Bible? Just make sure that everything you're hearing is in the Bible. And so this idea is in the Bible, even if the exact sentence isn't in the Bible. And with first we find it in Matthew 22, 39. Matthew 22, 39, and the second is like it. Love your neighbor as yourself. Remember the first one? Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul. This is the first and greatest. Well, look what it said, the second is like it. It didn't say, and the second is opposed to it. And it didn't say that the second is against it.

It says the second is like it. In other words, loving others shouldn't compete with loving God. It should complete loving God. Did you catch it? Loving others shouldn't compete with loving God. It should complete, complete loving God. This is how it works for me. You can't love me and think my kids are annoying. You can't love me and not love my kids. You can't be like Pastor JJ, Pastor Liz, y'all are awesome. We'll do anything for you guys. And then just push Justice and Zane off to the side of the street. When you see him, it doesn't work that way. If you love me, you're gonna love what I love. And I love my kids. Here's what God's saying. You can't love me and hate my kids. And if you wanna love me, the best way to love me is to love my kids. Now, of all of God's kids, who are the first kids that you are called to love? First Timothy chapter three, verse one. If anyone wants to provide leadership in the church, you wanna minister to other people, that's great. You wanna love on other people, great. But there are some preconditions. There is something that you have to do first before you love on other people.

You gotta do first. Now, if you're here, by the way, and thinking, well, I don't really wanna be a leader. Can I just tell you, we want you to be, and the Bible wants you to be. If you have the Journey Church app, you're gonna notice at the top of the app, we have these badges, these icons that light up as you grow in your walk with Christ. We can put them on the screen behind us. And the very last icon with that dude and his hand over the other person, that is lead. We want everybody here to be a leader. But before you can minister to other people, here's what he says the precondition is. 1 Timothy 3, 4, watch. He must manage his own family. Before you try to start to help other people's families, make sure you care for your own family first. It's a precondition. Now it makes sense. When Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7, 33, we're gonna read it again. But a married man has to, has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. He has to. It's not a job, it's a responsibility. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities

and how to please her husband. But now that we're reading this in the context of loving God, this is what I was, I know I did a whole Bible study, but it was to get to this point. Now that we read all that in the context of loving God, it changes who I'm doing it to to who I'm doing it for. That's a game changer to who I'm doing it for. 1 Corinthians 10, 31. So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. This is so important because some of your husbands stop serving your wife because they stopped serving you. And you stopped because they were no longer doing it for you but you were never doing it for them. You were always doing it for God. Now when I get to serve her, listen, I woke up at Christmas break and Christmas break, I was supposed to chill. I was supposed to work on my sermons. I like to, it was a week off. We had church online. And I like to take that week and I like to get months ahead on sermons. So I was ready, man. I had my Bible, my laptop. I was ready to go sermon prep two months in advance. And I woke up that morning of Christmas break. past Christmas break, and Liz was sick.

And normally that's when I tap in the kids, because they're 12 and 14 now. So I'm like, you get the NyQuil, you get the DayQuil, you get the, I go to their room, they're sick. Sick, sick, like we're all sick. Sick, sick, everybody is laid out. Holy Spirit had a bubble around me, I'm safe. Everybody else is sick. And now all of a sudden, I was gonna go get my Bible, and now I gotta go grab the DayQuil. Now I gotta go grab the oatmeal. Now I go grab the vitamin C, the zinc, the vitamin D, and I'm running from kid to kid. I did not write one word of one sermon all week. I was just taking care of everybody. And here's what I felt while I was doing that. I felt the pleasure of God. I felt God looking at me like, you got the order right. How sinful would it have been if my wife said, I need you to make me breakfast, I'm sick. And I go, I'm gonna read my Bible first. I'm gonna go pray first. Then I'm gonna, no, that's what happens when we compete. It doesn't complete, it completes, it doesn't compete. Serving her was the way I was serving God. Loving on her was the way I was loving God. It wasn't just service, it was worship to God as I was caring for my wife. When you connect those two, one never fights with the other when you do it as unto the Lord.

And I'm gonna give you this last one quick because we're running out of time. Do ministry, not just make your spouse your ministry, your first ministry, but do ministry with your spouse. Do ministry with your spouse. When you come to church and y'all both serving on a team and both contributing, you go from competing on different teams to competing on the same team. Here's what the Bible says in 1 Corinthians 7.35. I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best. Did you hear that? That's really good for single people because single people, I bet you that was never on your list. You had biceps on the list. You had abs on the list. You had money on the list. But you know what you never had on the list of a spouse? Somebody whose gifts compliment my gifts. Who when we come together can make an impact for the kingdom of God like I can never make on my own. It's that whatever helps you serve best. Married people, that means working together to complete the will of God. You gotta get it together. And that means you're going from individual, uninterrupted devotion to now shared devotion. Now it's us two pursuing the Lord,

serving the Lord together. And pursuing God together is important, but it can never be a substitute for pursuing God on your own. So the two things you need to do to make sure that you're making God number one is first, go to God first. Go to God first, not your spouse, not your parents, not your coworkers, go to God first. Psalms 118 says, it is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in humans. It's not saying that you can't trust in humans, but it's saying that you need to go to the Lord first. Whenever you're faced with a trial or a situation, go to him first. Why? Because the Lord is the one that's there to save you, not your spouse. Like he's my spouse, but he's not my savior because he can't live up to that expectation. They care, but they can't. Your spouse cares, but they can't. They can't understand the things that you're going through. They wish they could. And sometimes we get upset at our spouse because there's things that we want our spouse to fix or change or do on our behalf, but they just can't. Why? Because they were never designed to. Only God was the one that was designed to understand

and care for you the way that you were meant to be cared for. And so recently, I actually struggle with this because when we lost our child, he got it because we were both going through it together. But most recently, I found out that my mother has dementia and I was going through it on my own this time because he didn't get it. And I remember sitting across the dinner table with him crying because I'm like, you just don't get it. Like, my mom is going through it and your mom is like hiking Hawaii with us and my mom can barely walk. And he was trying to fix the problem, but he couldn't fix it because he didn't get it. And so I had to get on my knees and just cry out to God and be like, God, you're the only one that understands it. And I had to go to him first and I had to give it to him first. And maybe you're a husband here and you're like, my wife doesn't understand the burden of caring for our family or sometimes I feel lonely or I don't have purpose, but she doesn't understand me. God will. Maybe you're a woman here and you're like, my husband doesn't understand what it means to be pregnant or lack thereof. Or maybe you're just going through it as a woman and he doesn't understand you, but God understands you. So that's why you need to go to him first.

And the next one is go after God first. Pursue God before you go pursuing your spouse. And when you pursue him, I promise you'll find him. There's so many people who come up to me and they're like, Pastor Liz, I don't feel God. I don't hear God, but I promise you, if you really try to pursue him, you will feel him. You will hear him. Jeremiah 29, 13 says, when you come looking. for me you'll find me yes when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else i'll make sure that you won't be disappointed and that's God he's saying if you really truly try to go after me you will find me and so what does that look like so when you're in a relationship to pursue that person you go on dates do that with God have some time with God i got to get up earlier in the morning before he's interrupting me or the kids are interrupting me so i can have my time with God or maybe that's when the kids go to bed at night or maybe it's not ideal but when you're on your way to work or you're on your way home if you want to get closer to someone then spend time talking to them and that's the same thing you do with God because if it's not important to you you'll find an excuse but if it's important to you then you will find a way and if you're single and you're here i encourage you you've already met the one you've met him just keep going after him if it was a guy or a girl you would do anything to be in that person's presence and do the same thing with God but if you're here and you're married keep seeking the one while you're with your spouse while you're with your two your spouse is your two and God is your one and now you know that so keep going after him that's so good um i want to read you one last passage of scripture from the book of revelations chapter 2 revelations 2 the apostle john is writing to the church at ephesus to the angel of the church in ephesus right these are the words of him who holds the seven stars in his right hand and walks among the seven gold land stamps i know your deeds church i know your hard work and i know your perseverance i know that you cannot tolerate wicked people and that you've tested those who claim to be apostles but are not and have found them false you have persevered and have endured hardships for my name and have not grown weary way to go church you're a good church but i have this one charge to make against you

you have left abandoned the love you had at first you have deserted me this is jesus speaking your what love your your first love can i translate that into today's language he's saying you built a family you saved up for retirement you finally got the house with the white picket fence and the french bulldog your your kids graduated college and this verse explains how you can have it all and still feel like you're missing something you have it all you've done it all but you're still empty because you missed out on me the first love you allow those things to become higher loves and you lost me and you will never be fulfilled until you find me the church in ephesus was a port city it was a harbor city a lot of boats would come in and out and over time there were so many boats coming in and out of the harbor that it would push sand up on the seashore it's called silting and then a boat would try and land and then when it would let it would crash because it wasn't expecting what was once deep has now become dry the author is using the geography of ephesus to speak about the condition of their hearts he's saying you used to be deep but now you're dry you used to be deep but now you're dry and you know what they would have to do to make it deep again they'd have to put on diving suits they'd have to go in the water they'd have to dig the sand out they'd have to dive and dig to make it deep again i feel this is what god is asking us to do look at revelations 2 5 he goes remember someone say remember remember how far you've fallen repent and do the works you did at first you know what i love about this the church of ephesus it's the only church in the entire new testament that gets written to by two different apostles every church is usually written by one aposto and a lot of our new testament is written to the church the book of thessalonians was written to the church of thessalonica the book of kolages to the church of colonists say the book of ephesians is written to the church at ephesus the same church at ephesus that the apostle john is writing to but in the book of ephesians it's paul and i think when john wrote to the church at ephesus and he said remember remember from where you've fallen i bet there was somebody at the church of ephesus when they were reading that letter thinking didn't we get a letter from paul a couple months ago let's go put out that letter pull out that letter real quick he said to remember we don't want to forget pull out that letter let's see what paul told us and in ephesians chapter three here's what paul says great put it on the screen and may you have the power to understand as all god's people should how why how long how high and how remember the harbor and how deep his love is don't forget look at the next verse and may you experience the love of christ though it is too great like the ocean to understand fully

then somebody say then come on east orlando kissimmee everybody say then then you'll be made complete then you'll have the fullness of life and the power that comes from God when you understand the depth of God's love for you every head but every eye closed God is asking us to remember tonight today this morning how much God loves us to remember the powerful love of God and how it is the only thing that completes you and then to repent that means to turn and to do what you did at first go back to your first love I want to pray for you pastor this gonna lead us in a prayer Heavenly Father God if we're here today and we're married if you're here today and you're married just I would ask that you would just hold the hand of your spouse and if you Jesus maybe you're listening to this message today and you realize that you've made your spouse number one when they're actually supposed to be number two but God needs to be number one maybe you've made your relationship an idol I just pray today for you that you would just bring Jesus back to the place of number one in your life and if you're here today and you're single I'm gonna ask you instead to just put your hands out and if you're thinking but I'm not even married so how can I make my spouse an idol maybe you made the idea of your spouse an idol maybe you're not happy in your heart and that's an indication that Jesus is not number one thank you because you have not made him number one so I just pray right now for the both of those of you are married or a single we just pray right now God that you would help them realize not just with this message but day after day to put you first in their lives to spend time with you to go after you to pursue you to to go after you first God Lord I pray this for myself as well God that every day that passes God that I will continue to put you first in my life and fall in love with you more every day in that same spirit when that prayer listen if you're in this room today you don't have a relationship with Jesus the love of God has been chasing you and pursuing you and he has caught you at this moment wherever you are in whatever room behind whatever jail cell watching online I need you to know that this is not just a sermon anymore this is the love of Jesus hunting you down

catching you not to hurt you not to kill you to embrace you to love you and to bring you back home if you're in this room today or in any room and you're feeling the love of God pursuing you it's time to let him catch you on the count of three if you want to start a relationship with Jesus Christ the Son of God the one who died for your sins to give you life and eternity hope and peace or start one again because you feel like you might have lost it this is your opportunity to raise your right hand on the count of three I want to pray for you all over this room and every other room one two three would you raise your right hand high I see so many hands in this room amen I see your hands sir I see your hand ma'am so many hands whether you raise your hand or not and there are a ton of hands being raised right now I know at our campuses as well go ahead and put your hand down let's everyone pray this prayer out loud even those who have been following Jesus to be reminded of who our first love is say father God I can hear the footsteps of your son Jesus chasing me today I decide to let him catch me I fall into the arms of your love forgiveness and mercy dear Jesus be the Lord and Savior of my life today I start new making you my Lord aligning my life with your word giving you my whole heart in Jesus name we pray amen and amen come on put your hands together help me welcome all of those that made a decision to follow Jesus in every room in our church today man what a powerful message guys I don't know if you guys were touched by that message but if you were and you made that decision today you can go to the journey app or you can scan the QR code below or go to journey or l.com flow forward slash decision so somebody can help you find that next step here well that message was so powerful guys I don't know about you but it hit me in so many ways Josanne I know you took something from it and it hit you differently so give me your take on it I took a lot away like this message was absolute fire and I'm so grateful for their obedience to shift and teach this instead of what they were originally going to teach because I feel like it's something that resonates with everyone single or married and I really love the part where he said loving others

shouldn't compete with loving God it should complete loving God yeah and that's so true because it's how can we say as followers of Christ I love God I love Christ but I can't stand this person or I don't like my co-worker I don't like my roommate right like the only way to truly be like Christ is to love others and he loved his enemies even while he was on the cross he was praying for those crucifying him and that's the kind of life we need to embody let's go absolutely and we really want to know your thoughts go ahead and drop in the comments what did you take from it let us know in the app and speaking oh yeah speaking of the app we encourage everyone to one of you to download the Journey Church app. It's just a way of getting plugged into community, but also a way of you to getting to share the message that was shared today. So if this message was something that spoke to you, and you want to share with your loved ones, please download the app. Let them know, hey, I watched this message. It was an encouragement to my life, and I want to encourage you as well. Absolutely, and if you want to find another way to get plugged in with our church, go ahead and join Next Steps. It's a really good way to find out what are your gifts? Like, what are you good at? Do you want to, you know, God wants to use you in such a powerful way. Maybe he wants to use you online here with us. Maybe he wants to use you in hospitality, or maybe you have a gift of giving. And if you do, you can use that here as well

by serving outreach, or you can partner up with us and continue to build up the house of God by going to journeyorl.com slash give, or scanning the QR code on the screen. Wow, that is so amazing. Well, guys, if you guys were touched by this message, and you feel like God was pulling you a certain way, or you were just getting hit like I was, I just ask that you continue to dive in, continue to read your word like JJ said, and know what the word says about these topics, right? So we love you guys. We just thank you for joining us today. We hope to see you guys next Sunday, so we can get turnt, we can get live, and we can just come together and praise God as well. So we love you so much, guys. Thank you for joining us today. See you next week.