House Rules | Part 4

There was no way, until you made the war Praise upon praise, hallelujah Even though I don't deserve it, you did it And even though I couldn't do it, you give it Somebody say Who am I that you keep me on your mind God, I'm just grateful for you Say God, I'm just grateful for you All my life All my life You've been right here by my side God, I'm just grateful for you That's it, say God, I'm just grateful for you Holy, holy, there's only one I give you glory, I give you glory For all that you've done Even though I don't deserve it, you did it And even though I couldn't do it, you give it Say Who am I that you keep me on your mind God, I'm just grateful for you Say God, I'm just grateful for you So all my life All my life You've been right here by my side God, I'm just grateful for you Say

God, I'm just grateful for you Say who am I Who am I that you keep me on your mind God, I'm just grateful for you God, I'm just grateful for you So all my life All my life You've been right here by my side God, I'm just grateful for you God, I'm just grateful for you Hey Come on, if somebody's got something to be grateful for Would you shout unto Jesus today Sing this with me, say And I I live in both of my hands If you give me chance after chance After chance And I I live in both of my hands If you give me chance after chance After chance And I I live in both of my hands If you give me chance after chance After chance And I I live in both of my hands If you give me chance after chance After chance

Who am I that you keep me on your mind God, I'm just grateful for you Hey, say God, I'm just grateful for you Hey All my life You've been right here by my side God, I'm just grateful for you God, I'm just grateful for you Hey, say Who am I that you keep me on your mind God, I'm just grateful for you Hey, say God, I'm just grateful for you All my life All my life You've been right here by my side God, I'm just grateful for you God, I'm just grateful for you Come on, somebody give Him some praise Jesus Jesus, Jesus, Jesus Jesus, we want more of you Jesus, we want more of you So Lord, would you just pour out Lord, today our hearts Are just open to receive from you Lord, and not just even the blessings But Lord, even the things that you want to correct us on Holy Spirit, we invite you right now.

Lord, would you make us more like you? Lord, would you make us more like you? Lord, I pray, would you transform us? We wanna be in the image of you, Jesus. Lord, we wanna align ourselves with who you are, with who you've called us to be. We pray. ♪ What can wash away my sin ♪ ♪ Nothing but the blood of Jesus ♪ ♪ What can make me whole again ♪ ♪ Nothing but the blood of Jesus ♪ ♪ What can wash away my sin ♪ ♪ Nothing but the blood of Jesus ♪ ♪ What can make me whole again ♪ ♪ Nothing but the blood of Jesus ♪ ♪ What can wash away my sin ♪ ♪ Nothing but the blood of Jesus ♪ ♪ What can make me whole again ♪ ♪ Nothing but the blood of Jesus ♪ ♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah ♪ ♪ I know your eyes are blind, couldn't hold me in your blind ♪ ♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah ♪ ♪ I know your eyes are blind, couldn't hold me in your blind ♪ ♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah ♪ ♪ I know your eyes are blind, couldn't hold me in your blind ♪ ♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah ♪ ♪ I know your eyes are blind, couldn't hold me in your blind ♪ ♪ Can't wash away my sin ♪ ♪ Nothing but the blood of Jesus ♪ ♪ What can make me whole again ♪

♪ Nothing but the blood of Jesus ♪ ♪ Can't wash away my sin ♪ ♪ Nothing but the blood of Jesus ♪ ♪ What can make me whole again ♪ ♪ What can make me whole again ♪ ♪ Nothing but the blood of Jesus ♪ ♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah ♪ ♪ I know your eyes are blind, couldn't hold me in your blind ♪ ♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah ♪ ♪ I know your eyes are blind, couldn't hold me in your blind ♪ ♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah ♪ ♪ I know your eyes are blind, couldn't hold me in your blind ♪ ♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah ♪ ♪ I know your eyes are blind, couldn't hold me in your blind ♪ ♪ Couldn't hold me in your blind ♪ ♪ Couldn't hold me in your blind ♪ ♪ Couldn't hold me in your blind ♪ It's never been about flight or perfection or strife or acceptance Let me tell you, it's only about love It's never been about deserving or learning It's a gift that's really here Let me tell you, it's only about love Does anybody want to be holy and righteous? Purified and spotless Let me tell you, it's only about love Does anybody want to be worthy? Forgiven? Justified? Hey, let me tell you, it's only about love Hallelujah, Hallelujah

You're the one, You're the one, You're the one Let me tell you, it's only about love Hallelujah, Hallelujah You're the one, You're the one, You're the one It's never been about performance or perfection or striving for acceptance Let me tell you, it's only about love It's never been about deserving or learning It's a gift that's really here Let me tell you, it's only about love Does anybody want to be holy and righteous? Purified and spotless Let me tell you, it's only about love Does anybody want to be worthy? Forgiven? Justified? Hey, let me tell you, it's only about love Hallelujah, Hallelujah I know It was the blood Could've washed me in blood Hallelu-jah Hallelujah I know It was the blood How could you not recognize Hallelu-jah I know It was the blood Could've only been the blood Hallelu-jah Hallelu-jah I know It was the blood

Could've only been the blood Thank you Jesus Thank you Jesus Thank you for your blood Thank you for your blood I am an instrument of exaltation And I was born to lift the name above all names You hear the melody of all creation But there's a song, a phrase that only I can bring Shout and sing Who else is worthy? Sing who else is worthy? There is no one Only you Jesus Who else is worthy? There is no one Only you Jesus You are the infinite God of the angels Let your chosen make my heart in heavenly shame You hear my glory, yes Show me your glory, yes So I can song to praise my living angels Who else is worthy? Who else is worthy? There is no one. There is no one. Only you, Jesus. Who else is worthy? Who else is worthy?

There is no one. There is no one. Only you, Jesus. Just like You said. There is God, anointed one, who was and is and is to come. She is on the throne above. Call me, call me. I just want to move to Christ. Jesus Christ, we lift it up. Call me, call me. There is God, anointed one, who was and is and is to come. She is on the throne above. Call me, call me. I just want to move to Christ. Jesus Christ, we lift it up. Call me, call me. I just want to move to Christ. She is anointed one, who was and is and is to come. She is on the throne above. Call me, call me. I just want to move to Christ. Jesus Christ, we lift it up. Who else is worthy? You say. There is no one. There is no one. Sing only you, Jesus. Who else is worthy? There is no one. There is no one.

There is no one. There is no one. Sing only you, Jesus. There is no one. There is no one. Sing only you, Jesus. There is no one. Only you, Jesus. Well, I want you to get your Bibles out. I want you to get ready to turn to the book of Colossians chapter 3. And if you don't have a Bible, it will be up on the screen in just a moment. But we've been in a series called House Rules. We've been talking about God's word for the family. And we call it House Rules. And the reason we call it House Rules, it's just like any game in life. Any game you play, you've got to have rules. And when creators of the games that you play at home, they give you rules. And they don't give you rules to ruin the game. They give you rules to show you how the game works. And then when you play the rules by the way the game works, the creator created it. Guess what? You can actually find out how to win. It protects the player. The rules protect the players. It defines the roles. And it makes winning meaningful and actually shows the purpose to the players when you play by the House Rules. So what really ruins a good game at your house is when somebody says, Hey, I don't want to do that rule. Hey, let's change this rule. Well, let's play with no rules.

And how many of you know in two minutes there's yelling, screaming, people are hurt feelings, and nobody wins, and the game just doesn't become fun anymore. Well, how many of you know there's a creator of your life, and he says you're a whole lot more important than playing Uno or Monopoly. He created you fearfully and wonderfully made the Bible said. He knit you together in your mother's womb. He saw you before you begin to breathe, and every one of your days are recorded in his book. And when he created you, you're more valuable than a game, but he gave you truth to walk and live by, not to ruin your life, but to give your life meaning and purpose. And when you actually start living. by God's rules, his principles, you actually start finding your purpose, love is protected in the family, everybody begins to know their roles, and peace is absolutely possible when you play by the rules. But the problem with you and me is we just don't want to listen to the Creator on some things and we say, I want to make my rule about my sex life, I want to make my rule about how I run my marriage, I want to make my rule about how I do my money, and now we have the chaos, the fighting, lack of peace, and Jesus, God's word is not there to hinder you, it is to make you flourish in God, to let you win in this game called life and in the life to come, which is heaven, and how many know that one's a whole lot better than this one, amen? That's why we call it house rules. Well, since he created it, I want to listen to what he has to say, and so we've been kind of talking about these over the last few weeks, and I really encourage those of you watching online and those of you in the house that if you haven't listened to it, go back and listen to the teaching, it really is, just go listen to it, because what we discovered is it's really simple, God does not complicate these rules, so you got to understand, since he's the Creator, he's not going to give you his opinion on how you ought to run your marriage, he's not going to give you the opinion on how you ought to run your dating life, or your company, or your finances, he didn't give you his opinion, he gives you truth to

live by, they are not his opinions, they are his truth that makes your life really work. You don't do it in a game, so don't do it with your life, amen? Follow his principles, and so we discovered something real practical, God makes it simple, he says, husbands, here's your, here's your, here's your, here's your rule, husbands love, love your wife like Christ loved the church and was willing to die, sacrifice himself for that church, that's what he says, love your wife that way, willing to die for it, sacrifice, whatever it is, even your own opinions and sometimes your own things you want, die for her, then he said to wives, wives honor your husbands, respect them, husbands love, wives respect, I talked last week about how to respect when you feel like he doesn't deserve the respect, go listen to that series, when you respect him, you elevate him and you elevate yourself, and so today, I'm going to kind of hit two birds with one stone, so then he says to parents, he says, parents, you train, and I'm going to talk to children, you obey, so when you say obey, we Americans love our independence, nobody going to tell me what to do, then why in the thunder are you in so much chaos and our nation in so much chaos? It's because when God puts a principle or rule down, we say we don't want it, and hence you have the lack of peace, you have the disunity, you have it all, it'd be surprising when people just play by God's rules because he made them, he made them, so when we talk about obedience, this is not something oppressive, this is something that actually brings an incredible favor and blessing on your life, so I call this one the obedience advantage. You are at an advantage when you understand true biblical obedience, even as children, so I'm going to start there, and I know some of you are already thinking, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute, wait a minute, the wrong group's here, I'm 67, I'm not in the kids' first ministry right now, Pastor Troy teaching me, oh no, you're in the right place, believe me, you are, I are in the right place, so look at what Colossians 3.20, and there's a lot of references to teaching kids that the Apostle Paul brought, but when he talks to the Christians of Colossae, here's what he says to children, he's talked to husbands, he's talked to wives, but this is what he says to children, ready, children, always obey your parents, for this pleases your parent, this pleases the Lord, well, they're getting their way, it's not about their way, it's about understanding God's way that gives you an advantage of the favor of God and well-being in your life, so when you say children obey, a lot of us

check out, well, I'm retired, I'm drawing Social Security, what do you mean, you calling me a kid, who are the children, who are the children of Colossians 3, well, there is some, I mean, there's some obvious things here, but I'm going to tell you, children has no age limit, a child, you as a child, you have no age limit, I don't care if you're 25, 21, think you can do what you want to do, there's no age limit here, it's not for the four and five-year-olds over there, it's beyond this. True, this does refer to any child of any parent that still lives under their home. Watch this. Listen to closely. Tune in over here on my right-hand side here. This is still anyone that lives in the home and are under your parents' guidance and authority. Let me just say that real clear. Well, I live in the house, but I do what I want. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let me help me clarify it even more. If they're paying your bills... Now, I know you may be 33 years old and still hiding out in the basement, and all you're doing is eating pizza and playing video games till four o'clock in the morning. But if they're paying your bills, you need to honor and respect the rules of that household if they're paying your bills. I'm telling you, you're just going to leave me hanging out here, aren't you? You way up there, you're just going to leave me hanging out here talking like this. It's true. Well, I don't want to live by the rules. Well, then you go make your own motor scooter and go pay your own bills, and then you can do that. Okay. I'm done with y'all. Just cheer up. Come on, smile. Because this is really important when we say child... But it is about that. But here's what happens. When I say something like that to individuals that are still under their parents' authority, they're paying their bills, and then everybody else checks out. But see, this bunch and even myself, I can't check out on this message. You think you can because you got gray hair and you're silver and you're paying taxes, but you can't check out. Because the reality is, is when you look at the scripture, how does God refer to us in the word of God? He calls us his what? Children. Children. So whether you're 65, you're 85, you got great, great, and you are a pawpaw and you are the patriarch and the matriarch of the house, you're still a child. And God says, you really want to understand obedience? Learn to be my child. Can you follow me? See, how many of you know none of us are exempts? So we're all in kids' church today.

All in kids' church today. Amen. Now, let me just say on the outset, young people, those of you that are under that authority, you're under that authority of your family, your parents, you live in their home. Let me just say this. Your parents are not perfect. Okay? I'm just going to lay it down to you right now because I know me. I am not perfect and I'm your pastor. Do not say amen. And I will promise you that as you get older, you will find faults in your parents. Even the most spiritual parents in this room, you're going to find a problem with them where you're going to say, I totally disagree with it. And it may even be, you may be right and you may be wrong, but you're going to find faults with your parents. And let me tell you, as you get older and you see those faults and you get frustrated, can I tell you, it doesn't mean that you have no opinion, but if you come to a place where you're frustrated, you should try to talk to your parents. I always tell people, you can come, I tell any of our leaders, you can come to me, just come to me in the right attitude. That's all I ask. I may be wrong. You may be right, but come to me in the right attitude. Because if you don't come to me wrong attitude, we'll never deal with the problem. We're going to deal with the attitude before we get to the problem. Just come in the right spirit. If you're frustrated, come to your parents in the right spirit, the right tone of voice, come to them when you're frustrated to talk to them. But that is not your primary role to find the fault and always point it out to them. That is, you can have the conversation, but that is not your primary role. Before God, your primary role is to obey your parents in the Lord. Now I know some of you are over here going, but my parent sexually abused me. How do I do that? And we'll close with that. Okay. We're going to come back around that because how do you expect someone to honor, respect an abuser? Don't leave. Don't leave early. Don't fall asleep. So what is God's primary? You need to know that God only has one expectation. You as a child of God, God only has one expectation out of you as a child living under your parents' authority and home. There's only one thing God expects you to honor your parents by obeying them. That's all that he asks. Because when you do that in the Lord, it pleases the Lord and watch favor and blessing and well-being. Being come to your life, not just on this in this realm, but eat for eternity and really let me just say this

When you have the ability to be an obedient person not only just a God but obedient to your parent Do you know what you're really happening teenagers? We take when you learn to obey them and learn to talk when you're frustrated to have a conversation But that's not your primary role. Do you know what you're actually doing? You are actually training yourself to be an awesome parent So when you think like oh, it's always telling what to do What you're actually doing is you are getting training yourself to be an incredible parent When you have the ability to learn to submit and obey So we got a lot of great parents are gonna be coming out of this place Hey, man, a lot of great parents, but let me just back up for a moment and let's break this down just for a moment about What's the roles here? What's the rule here? So here's the first rule Here's the first principle that you need to consider here. The first thing you need to understand is that parents form The parents are the ones that form and they do this by modeling So when you're forming your child, this is your responsibility as moms dads single parents You are to form you mold them by what you? model If you don't like If you don't like what the molds looking like first examine the modeling So let me go back to Titus chapter 2 Let's go to Chinese chapter 2 just for a second when Paul speaks to this leader by the name of Titus And he's trying to bring up the children of God these new believers. Look what he tells to Titus this leader He says and you yourself Must be an and what everybody can you say the word a? what everybody an example to them By doing not saying by doing good works of every kind Let everything

You not say do reflect the integrity and seriousness of your teaching That what you say you do yourself you behave yourself So don't ask them to be something that you cannot model yourself You make the forming by what you are modeling. Oh Okay. Now you say well pastor is that a guarantee? Well, listen just because we model Jesus is not a guarantee that they will but if you don't model Jesus It is a guarantee they won't Promise you so he's talking about modeling. So let me just kind of break down that forming time for you It's I call it the training timeline I'm just gonna go through this real quick because it kind of gives you a breakdown of their ages because the forming and the Training kind of changes the approach So from zero ages zero to five, you're the dictator. You're not only the hero. You're the superstar mom and dad. You're also the dictator That means you set the rules and you need to help them learn how to follow those rules So when you say no, your yes is yes And your no is no and you got to win those key battles from zero to five. You've got to win them You've got to grab the reins by you got to grab the reins of authority very early at that stage and you've got to conquer the rebellious will of a child and When there is willful disobedience and they know they're given willful disobedience. There must be a consequence for breaking the rule of Disobedience there's got to be consequence But when you do forgive the consequences, however, you and your husband decide and you talk together and parents Don't talk separately about how the consequences are you have to be in unity on the consequences? Don't go off on your own be in unity on the consequences. Can somebody say amen to that? That's zero to five, but you have to discipline in love and not anger Don't let a five-year-old manipulate your emotions all the time

What does that mean they're gonna do something where the spirit of dum-dum hits him and they're gonna have willful disobedience But before you respond cool down Just take a breath and cool down because when you give punishment and consequences They need to be appropriate for the infraction and Some of us were didn't have good models of parents and they blew up over everything and their response to discipline was just off the charts That punishment must fit the infraction Sometimes some punishment is so severe for the infraction that it can actually create a rebellious child because you're going to extreme Okay, know the difference between willful disobedience where they are flat defying you and a youthful mistake or the spirit of ignorance that's on them at the time know the difference so be sensitive to that age and how you do that don't you don't want to crush their will but you do want to correct their will are you following me so what does that mean so even when you offer that in that zero to five age you have to always be the one that reconciles with them you always give a path of reconciliation for them always and you have to be the parent you initiate the reconciliation and they always have to be affirmed over and over and over and over of your unconditional love when they are having to pay the consequence because that's exactly what Jesus did to you while you are yet serious sinners and the spirit of dumb-dumb was on us he still loved us and brought us to himself somebody say amen always reconcile us so that's that's that's what you call the dictator time the other time that you're forming is what I call the trainer time it's ages 5 to 12 this is when you're giving them more responsibility I wish you get into it more but this is really important here let me take you to Proverbs chapter 22 in verse 6 when I talk about the training time it says this train up a child in the way he should go he should go even when he and this is speaking inference and first also females as well even when they're old he will not depart from it in the Hebrew the word should is not there it's not there it is simply train up a child in his own way or her own way should is

not there it's in their own way so what does that mean especially when you're in that five to twelve years age it means that God has wired your child for a certain bent temperament personality that's different from the other child you have so don't do a one-size-fits-all because God has wired them with certain giftings certain temperaments and you as a parent need to be paying attention to the way that God has bent that child that doesn't mean you let them just be anything they would do and let them choose whatever they want to choose because right now we got some parents that are wheels off well I think you they're letting your children change their own identity at five and six years old my lord if your child wanted to be a pirate what are you gonna do go have their their legs surgically removed from the knee down and give them a peg lick and pluck out their eye and give them an eye patch because they want to be a pirate I'm simply saying is you look for their bent you look for that personality you look for that temperament you look for that gifting you'll see those giftings in one that's different from the other and they are totally different so what does this mean in this training time if I could just put it this quick you got to analyze each child's purpose because God has a different purpose for each one of them don't try to make them what you are or what another child is look for the God bent and the God wiring in that child it'll surface you'll see it analyze the purpose and then on that journey from that age is 512 you got to be aligning their character all the time and when I talk about aligning character you need to find out your values and the virtues of the Word of God that you constantly align your character and their character because what we have in the Church of America is we got a people with a lot of belief but little conviction I'm gonna say it again we got a lot of Christians with a lot of belief but have no conviction and what has to happen see because belief you can say yeah we believe that we believe that we yeah we believe that we got yeah preached by Sam we believe that but it's not translating into conviction see a belief a belief I will agree with but a conviction is something I will sacrifice myself for and even willing to die for it what are you willing to die

for so somewhere along the line it can't be just belief you have to show the values and the virtues of conviction so don't tell your kids hey you be sexually pure out there and you're sleeping around don't do it you're watching porn listen if they come in drunk and you drink they got it honest I hate to come down so heavy but with what you what you model is the mold that is formed so you got a lying character you align character don't say yeah church is a good thing it's a good thing no show up right do like these folks are doing right here showing your kids this is how you go to church showing them this is how you worship God show them how to give so I'm gonna serve so I'm how to forgive it's got to be more than belief it's got to be a conviction of your life and align them with that character okay I know it's quiet That's alright. Like I say, folks, don't talk much during surgery, amen? And then aim them toward Christ. You see, what I'm not talking about, I'm not trying to talk to you about, you're not manufacturing a personality. I'm not talking about manufacturing a personality that you want. I'm talking about directing a destiny that you recognize in each child. Can somebody say amen to that? And then the next 13 to 19 years of age, that's the coaching years. You got to be flexible. You can't be demanding. You allow them some independence, some accountability. You're encouraging them on the way. Affirm them all the time. When they do something right, man, really blow it up. When they do something wrong, then they can receive it because you're always talking about the things you see right, especially for your daughters, dad. Always affirm them of their beauty. Always affirm them of how well they do.

Always affirm them, especially in a culture that constantly is a barrage against young ladies all the time. Body shaming all the time. Affirm them. Pick your battles on ages of 13. There's some battles not worth fighting. Give correction when you need it, but not every battle you got to win, especially over personal preferences. Then when you get to age 19 and older, you are the friend, you are the mentor, you're the advisor that walks along with them. So parents form. The reality is, is that some parents avoid setting boundaries because they aren't keeping them themselves. So before I talk to kids, I got to talk to us that are leading in modeling, because what we model is the mold you make for them. And God will always speak to each one of us about it, including this pastor. That's why it gets a little quiet, but we're all going to be okay. Amen. Amen. So when you start forming as parents, young people, those living under the authority of your parents, children follow. They follow children. Always obey your parents. Now, if I could use the word obey just for a moment, that word literally in the Greek obey literally means you're ready for this. It means to listen under, listen under, remember when I talked about the submarine in the last message about when it talks about submission, it means to submerge. It means like a submarine to come under God's will and the will and to come under God's will and the will of your spouse and raise them up. And when you raise them up and raise God up, you go up and it really means here's another,

here's another interpretation of that word obey. It literally means not only to listen under, it literally means to answer the door and open it. How many of you have ever just seen someone, a knock at the door, knock on the door, and someone says, it just ignores it, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock. In the picture that Jesus stands at the door and knocks, obey means to not just hear the knocking, but to listen to it and open it and receive it, to receive it. It amazes me how much selective hearing we Christians have. Some people, it amazes me how much we can hear. We can't hear a thing. Our parents are saying you can't hear anybody else, but all you have to hear is that one little text notification, bing, it can, your phone can be on the other side of the room locked in the safe. And I mean, it's, you just perk up, you hear it immediately. Aren't we like that? We listen to what we want to listen to, but this is what it's saying. We have selective hearing. And so many times we tune out the people that have the best advice and we receive the advice of people that are going to ruin our lives. So what this really means is young people under authority, go seek out your parents' advice. Don't just wait for them to tell you something, go seek out their advice and listen under and open the door and welcome it. And the truth is parents, our kids would be more prone to listen to us if we listened to them. When they're talking about something they're going through, don't wig out, I can't believe we're dealing with that kind of thought in your life. Don't you know that if you'll just serve God and pray, no, don't wig out when they tell you something that they're going through. If you'll listen intently and stop, do you know they will listen intently to you?

Oh, good night. And the reason I say this children follow is because you're not born to follow. What I discovered is we are born with a will and a won't because we're born that way. We are born not to obey. That's why Psalm 58 three says, these wicked people are born sinners, even from birth they have lied and gone their own way. So the first lesson God has to teach us because it is taught. Obedience is taught. It's not natural with your kid. The first word they learn is... and the first lesson God teaches us is how to live under God-given authority. See, you don't obey your parents only when you think they're right. You only obey them when it finally fits your desire. Now I'm not talking about you obey your parents and things that are unbiblical or ungodly or unethical. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. If there's something unbiblical, it's not in the Word of God. You know it's contrary. You don't obey your parents and that's why Ephesians 6, 1 says, children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. Are they doing something that's unethical, unbiblical, it's ungodly? You're not required to obey that. It's things that are in the Lord. But your first desire is to please God by obeying your parents. What if Jesus, what if Jesus would have obeyed, you know, well I like this but I don't like this, I'll obey this. What if Jesus did that? What if Jesus obeyed God in every little thing but he says, you know that thing about going to the cross? I don't think, I don't think I'm gonna obey that. How many glad he obeyed the Father in every detail, even the tough stuff that required sacrifice. And the thing about the house rule, it's about obedience. Do you know whether you like it or not? Whether you learn in God's house, you're gonna learn it in somebody's house. You, you will. Take my word for it. Yes, you will. There is this magical day for all of us that work and are employed. It's a magical day for all of us. You're gonna love it. It's April 15th. I don't want to do it, but I got to pay my taxes. And one day you will be welcome to our magical day. And if you don't adhere to that magical day, you will pay the consequences. You will learn somewhere,

some way, how many believe you'd rather learn it the way of God and say, Lord teach me to obey that the blessings can be released. So parents form, children, children follow. Watch this. And when we as child of God, when you as a believer start following the Lord, families flourish. Let me close with this. Obedience releases the blessing of God in your life. When you're obedient to the Lord, I'm just talking about parenting now. When you're obedient to the Heavenly Father, it releases the blessings of God. Let me, let me show you something that that Paul said to the people in Ephesus, these Christians, and he's talking to children now, but I want you to see. He says, honor your mother and father, which is the first commandment with a promise, so that it may, so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy a long life on the earth. Let me, let me explain this just for a moment. He is quoting the fifth commandment that God gave to the children of Israel before they entered the promised land. He's quoting the fifth commandment, Exodus 20 12. Look what it says. Honor your father and mother, that your days may be long on the land which the Lord your God has given you. He's talking about well-being here. Now, when you look at the fifth commandment, let me explain this for a moment. It is tied to Israel in the promised land, but Paul broadens this. He says that honoring your mother and your father adds blessing and well-being to your life. This is not talking about a mechanical guarantee of longevity on planet earth, but it's about a covenant principle that God says the well-being will be for you because the promised land was a picture of something future for them. How many know we have a picture of a promised land and it's eternity? Because, see, some people say they read this and they go, well, what about people who, who die early, Pastor Sam? What, what about that? Because I have met people, in fact, I know one precious one. Our daughter honored us, respected us, lived in a home and lived by our rules in honor of their mom and dad and went to be with Jesus early. Was she under judgment? That infant that passed away, are they under judgment, Pastor Sam? I don't, I wish I had all the answers, but I know that that can't be, because you can't make this just a mechanical, he says, you may live long on the land. It's not a mechanical guarantee,

it's a covenant promise of his well-being to care for you. Because I've met some old people. Have you ever met some old, mean jerks? Now, I'm serious. I've met some old, nasty, mean jerks that are ... What? You said no comment. They have lived a long time. They dishonored their mom and dad. They disrespect them, even their old age. They talk bad about their parents. Why do they get to live long? It's not a mechanical guarantee. That's not what it's talking about. It's talking about God's well-being for your life. It's a covenant principle, because what Paul is saying is every promise of God finds its ultimate fulfillment in Christ, not in just this life, but beyond this life that your life is going to be taken care of, here or there. There is blessing for this here on this earth, but he said it is about well-being, because I've met people who've honored God, and I take solace in this. I take solace in this. Jesus Christ was 33 years old and wasn't an old man. I take solace in this, that the martyrs ... Do you know that some of the apostles' martyrs were in their 20s and 30s? They believe some of the apostles might have even been teenagers, and were martyred. Man, they obeyed Jesus Christ to the very end. I love what Isaiah 57.1 says. He says, good people pass away, the godly often die before their time, but no one seems to care or wonder why. No one seems to understand that God is protecting them from the evil to come. What is Paul saying here? The Bible teaches that the land that God had promised by God to the nation of Israel, that

was the promised land, but it is one day ultimately fulfilled through Jesus Christ, who will rule and reign forever. So he says, when you see it's about well-being for your whole life, don't look just to the now, but look to the then of eternity with Jesus Christ. Now you can talk about this, but you need to realize that there'll come a day when you are no longer required to obey your parents. You get your own house, you get married, you move out, you do your own thing. You're not required, but there will never come a time in your life where you are no longer required to honor your parents. So let me close with this. Yeah, but pastor, how does a person honor a parent whose behavior was abusive, pastor? And maybe even when we invoke the word of the heavenly father or our father, which art in heaven, that term of endearment that God will call you a son and daughter and call him father is almost tough for you because of the abuse you went under. Pastor, would you explain this to me? How do you honor a parent when I'm sitting in here and I dealt with horrific abuse? How do I do that? Can I, can I just kind of give you something that may help you with it? Honor may be reduced to the honor of the office of the parent, not the person. Let me throw that set in, that I honor the office that God established, but I do not honor the person's behavior of what they did. And there are some times I'd let people know this. There are some parents that were so abusive, set such a bad model and God's remaking you and giving you the right model of what, how a man and a woman ought to be and how to parent ought to be. But sometimes it requires because of the abuse, it requires that you have arms length honor for that individual. And what I mean is there are times that you have to put boundaries with that parent and boundaries do not, it does not mean bitterness. Don't make boundary sound like bitterness.

The boundary is there because you know of the behaviors that have never been corrected or admitted to. So you can have boundaries without bitterness, arms length and showing honor. Listen, when I say show honor for the office, it never requires distorting the truth of what may have happened to you. But you dare distort that truth. But it means talking about that truth, being honest about that truth, approaching that truth, but it never means hiding that truth. And when you talk about that truth to that parent, they may never apologize to you. They may not want to mend the relationship. Because they're dealing with their own shame or they may even act like nothing ever that just didn't happen, but you know, it happened You don't listen you don't go along with the lie Honoring does not mean you go along with the lie of the abuse. You are not required to do that But you can honor the office that god had Without lying or acting on what happened never occurred and you never address it You can address it and it may mean you put boundaries in for you and your family. It may mean that You okay with that? Let me tell you why Pastor brendan and I had to go to court. We had our very first home. We first got married And we did everything by the rule book And we were taken to court over an issue And when our attorney saw it and the real estate agent saw it they said hands down You win. I said do we need to bring this evidence to them? No, we got it. We're done. It's already done. There's no way And it was over shower curtains believe it or not Took us to court So I walk in real confident And then the other person that was suing us at the time They had their parent with them And when walked in the judge was sitting behind the bench I knew was in trouble

When I saw this person's parent go. Hey fred, how you doing to the judge? Judge says? Hey, good to see you Joe, you doing? All right come to discover. He brings cases all the time into that courtroom And I said we're done I said we're done Just forget it we're done They don't care. We're done sure enough. They won the judgment And it was very clear they gave him whatever he whether they wanted or something let's get let's get on here And you gave his daughter-in-law your maternity clothes I remember that yeah, I hope they didn't fit her Hey Hey you wanted to say it too, didn't you? But let me let me tell you even though I saw it going on They were buddies and he called him fred I watched him call him out As much as I knew this was unjust I did not call that judge fred I Didn't call him a jerk. I called him your honor Not because of him but because of the office that had been established your honor Made my point but moved on your honor And sometimes even though things may be unjust you may have to put boundaries You don't you don't live like there's a lie, but you can respect the offerings simply being polite Just being polite But you don't have to respect what they did And you can be honest about it And sometimes you got to put boundaries in there To ward off the bitterness so you can respect the office that god created But I will tell you this you don't have to live in those wounds because I believe there's some sitting in here right now Because sometimes sin gets into people and it twists what the father really is like how caring and just and he Reconciles and he corrects but he always draws you close And I'm not going to tell you forgive them and move on i'm not going to tell you i'm going to tell you forgive them But i'm going to tell you forgive them

And move up Move up And ask god say god I respect that office I'm polite and I respect the office But lord, would you heal me? Because your past no matter how bad it was or what happened to you doesn't have to ruin your future To be the great obedient child of god to the heavenly father and being a great parent that god wants to make you That's why jesus said bless those who curse you and pray for those who mistreat you How many know our god will deal with him all he requires of us is to obey him and follow him That's what he wants and he'll deal with the rest. I promise you he will deal with the rest