He Was DENIED Parole… His Response Stunned Me | God Behind Bars Podcast

And so I made the decision to escape. In the course of escaping, I injured a deputy, took his gun, where it was definitely a wrong decision. I had to reverse this sentence. I had to be out. It was the driving force of my life. But then it came a time when I started to look over my life. All the decisions I made that led me into that moment. And I knew that I didn't want to be that person anymore. And I learned through that, that my value does not come from anything I achieved myself. My value comes from serving others. Hey, welcome back to the "God Behind Bars" podcast. I'm Jake Bodine. And we are coming from Angola, Louisiana State Penitentiary, just outside of Baton Rouge, Louisiana. And we have another amazing guest with us today, a gentleman that has become a friend over the years. And I've had the opportunity just to watch God not only move in him, but move through him in this very prison and who he's influenced the entire population, really. And his legal name is Robert McKee, but we call him Yogi. Yogi, it's good to have you, man. It's good to be here. Thank you for that. It's great, you know, any time I have an opportunity to be a part of anything "God Behind Bars" does, it's a blessing for me because I knew it come from a genuine place.

Many people come into the prison. They come for a variety of reasons. They come because they got a heart from God. They are being a great commission and they do good things. But it's different when "God Behind Bars" come because we know you have a genuine heart for us. It's not like we have guests, it's like we have family. And the impact that y'all have is felt long after you leave and everybody will wait for the opportunity for you to come back. So I'm thankful. Appreciate you, brother. Why don't you tell our audience what happened today? Man, it was an amazing opportunity today for a lot of my fellow prisoners. Guys got a chance to be reunited with their sons in a way that they probably never ever experienced. In fact, I was close enough to witness some of the conversations, the tears, some of the reconciliation that was going on, some of the misunderstanders that had taken place over the years, things was ironed out, things was talked through. But more than anything, I saw me and praying with their sons in a way that they probably never would have. You know, it's one thing to see, it take place. It's another thing to see a person and know a person from what it was to this moment in their life.

Some of the guys who I saw praying with their sons were not the kind of men who would typically even consider God. But they have made the transformation, they have done the work, they have surrendered completely. And today their sons got a up close and personal view of the man that they have become. And you had the opportunity to serve at this event. You're a father, right? Yes. Like what do you feel like it meant to these men from a father's perspective? It was indescribable, you know? You go through prison, understanding what you've done. Once you come to the understanding of what you've done, you could understand the people you hold, the hurt you cause. And me and me and once they have made that decision and made that transformation long for an opportunity to then try to write some of those wrongs and heal some of those wounds, to be in a position. Excuse me. To be in a position where you can not only talk to your child in a way that you never could before because you wasn't, you was not that person. And they wouldn't believe you anyway because it wouldn't have been sincere. But to talk to them and make a genuine hard felt plea for them to not follow in your footsteps and be able to back it up with proof

that not only are you trusted by the administration, but there are ministries that are willing to come in and donate to give you something that you probably never would have had otherwise and allow you a platform to reconnect. And speaking of those children, what was life like for you as a child? Well, I grew up in Chicago, Illinois. You a Bears fan? I grew up a Bears fan. I'm a Bears fan, that's why I asked. My family, I'm a Bears fan, die hard. But I grew up in Chicago and Cabrina Green Projects. It was rough. I grew up with a parent. My father was not in my life. My mom was my sole parent. And my mom suffered from being the youngest. She was a functioning, she was functioning for most of my life. But she would have those times when she would just disappear. And in that point, I would have to be the caregiver. I would have to be the person who showed up for her. And a lot of times, I didn't know how to do it. And it was the game members who stepped in and helped me do what I could not do. And with that came a certain level of loyalty because I never saw them in a way that the world saw them. I saw them as people who cared about what was going on in my life and cared about my mom. So I was willing to be or do whatever they asked me to do. It wasn't until I got a little older when I started questioning their lifestyle. But by that time, I didn't know how to remove myself from that situation. And so I started to spiral. That eventually led me to where I met now in the Louisiana State Penitentiary.

Yeah, which you have a very unique story. Why don't you speak a little bit to that, if you're willing, what was it that led you here? And then ultimately how you got to Angola. Okay. So I was a drug dealer who robbed other drug dealers. That was something that I did mainly because I had this Robin Hood complex. I felt like somehow if I was taken from drug dealers, it wasn't as bad as if I was taken from regular citizens. And so I was convinced of this because I did good things in the hood and my neighborhood. I felt like it was okay. Well, this particular instance in December the 29th, 2001, I robbed their own drug dealer. And I say the wrong drug dealer meaning he was connected to everyone who was in an influential position in that area. And so when I got caught and ended up in the jail, he had an uncle who was the system wasn't in the jail. He had cousins and an uncle who was also deputies and officers in the jail. And tons of cousins and workers who was incarcerated inside the prison. And so he put a price on my head. My life was in constant danger. I was attacked in a variety of different ways. Oftentimes it was assisted by officers. I was put in situations where I was handcuffed and shot but it couldn't defend myself. I went to the hospital multiple times because of these situations. I was denied my medication. It was a lot of things that transpired in the jail that was fully documented. And because I wasn't there, I wasn't from that area. There was no help. I was cut off from my family. No one really knew where I was or what I was going through because I couldn't get it. I couldn't use the phone. I couldn't write it out. I was thrown in the college.

And so I started sneaking letters out through guys who was coming through the jail who caught out on bond. Hoping that they would mail the letters to the ACLU to the Secretary of Corrections who inspected the general room. All of who testified at my trial that I did try to get help for this situation. They said it was assured that the sheriff, by the sheriff that things would be taken care of but nothing ever was. So feeling helpless sick one day, I made a decision that I had to leave the jail. I could not stay there. I feared for my life every day. I could not sleep because my biggest fear was that it was going to let the guys in on me and myself. It was nothing I was going to be able to do to prevent them from taking my life. And so I made a decision to escape. And in the course of escaping, I injured a deputy. who was all, well, just coming on duty, who I didn't immediately recognize was an officer. By the time I did recognize it, I was surrounded by the boat with the police department, feeling trapped, not knowing what to do. When the officer rolled away from me, I knew that I instinctively knew that there was going to fire upon me. So I dive into the van. Well, when I looked up, another officer took a shot at me, and I just smashed the gas and ran, and drove all the way to Mississippi with the police trailer, me the whole way, and to the van became disabled. Once the van became disabled and I could not get another car, another vehicle, I'll get away in the kind of way I just surrendered. And I was taken into custody, and that's how I wound up coming to Angola.

- What's your thought process during that time? How old are you? By the way, how old are you at that point? - At that time, I was 27. - 27? - Yeah. - And how old are you now? - 52, I'll be 53 in August. - Yeah, as a young person, obviously you think one way, but what's your thought process of that moment today? - What I think about it at this moment about that person, that situation, where it was definitely a wrong decision. Even though I could not foresee the events that were unfold because of my actions, that does not negate the fact that it was the wrong action. It was the wrong thought process. When I made that decision, I did not consider anything other than I needed to get away. I took no factors in consideration. So when I look back at that person, he was impulsive, he was reckless, he was selfish, definitely. Not a person who really thought about the people who could be home in the course of trying to escape home. That's pretty much how I see that situation. - And since coming to prison, obviously, I get to know this version of Yogi, right? And just what God's done in your life. Why don't you speak to some of that? What's some of the programming that one you've received, but now I've also watched you lead men in this facility. And then we'll get into the story of our first,

pretty much encounter, but what God has not only done in you, but through you, why don't you speak to some of that stuff? - Okay, so when I first came to Arizona, they placed me in a cell for 23 hours a day, seven days a week. I came out only for a shower at 45 minutes of rec. During that period, all I did was my legal work. All I wanted to do was my legal work. I had to reverse this sentence. I had to be out. That was the driving force of my life. But then it came with time when I started to look over my life. All the decisions I made that led me into that moment. And I knew that I didn't want to be that person anymore. One day I had a panic attack. At the moment, it felt so much like a heart attack. And it was like I knew then, in that moment, that I was gonna die. At that time, I had no connection to my kids, my family, no one. I was totally disconnected from the free world. I was in a state where I had no family or friends. And I thought to myself there, it'd been five years since I talked to anyone, that if I died in that moment, no one would even know I was gone. And I realized then that it was the decisions that I made that put me in that situation. And so I cried after Jesus. I cried out because before that situation occurred,

before I ever went to trial and got the time that I got everywhere I went, someone told me that God had some special plan for me. And it kept happening in different places. And it was that same message. And I didn't know how to receive it because I did not see myself worthy of God even considering me. My self-esteem was so low because you stripped away my screep asylum. You had nothing, it was nothing. I was uneducated. So it was really difficult for me to accept. Um, so when I accepted Jesus immediately, that was a piece that's out of my spirit and I started to, I started to seek the know, and the more I sought to know them, the more I wanted to know, the more I needed to know. And I started to see a future. I started to see, I started to have hope. And I started to see the people, the person I could become. And so I started working toward their vision. The vision became clear and clear the more positive steps I took in that direction. So in December of 15, 2015, they expanded. I want to go to the CCR dorm, which was a dorm that was set up for those who had been in a long time isolation to give them an opportunity to learn how to live in population before they actually pushed you in a population. And so it was in that dorm where I started to get program. And for the first time, the whole time I was in the sale, I never got any kind of education opportunities other than Bible college, I mean, Bible, um, study courses that I sent for a correspondence courses. And so when I started to get classes, like thinking for a change, um, a hundred hours, um, inside, outside dad, these things taught me values.

These classes taught me principles that I never knew. No one ever told me how to be a dad or whatever showed me what that meant. Nobody ever told me how to impact, you know, about generational curses of how the way I lived my life or the lack of me being in my child's life could affect them adversely. All I was ever taught to do is survive. And so that's what I did. And so as I learned these classes, I learned these things about this. It was like learning myself all over again. So I started to take from each one of these classes and add it to my life. And the more I added, the more confident I became and who I was becoming. But it wasn't so much as what I discovered. It was what people started to say about me that really impacted me. Um, when I came out to see, I mean, I have to see sure I don't, I went straight into being an inmate counselor, which is an inmate lawyer. That's like one of the top three jobs you could have. It was unheard of for a person who had my background coming from where I come from to get a job like that. And I knew it was all God. And it was in there that I did got my GED. And when I got my GED, which I can sell still to this day, even though I have bachelor degrees, my GED, my high set was my greatest accomplishment. Because there was something that I always felt I couldn't get. Um, so when I got it and like it invalidated. Everything that I've ever did in my life, it showed me that I am worthy. That I am intelligent, that I can become anything that's in my mind on. And so through that. I wanted to get everything. So I got my paralegal degree and I went on to Bible college, seminary, and I earned my bachelor's degree along the way I learned I became a certified

mentor, which is what I do right now. I'm a lead mentor for the reentry program. Um, one of the biggest programs here in Angola. Um, before that, I was, I was one of the head facilitators in the new man program, kept on other guys who suffered from drug addiction and sobriety. It was through those programs that I learned about service. It was through those programs I learned when it was to be Christ like, to put other people before yourself. And I learned through that that my value does not come from anything I achieved myself, my value come from serving others because it's through that that we start to see wood. And so that's what I try to give to everybody that I encounter. Just ask me what I could do for you. Don't ask me what you can do for me, because God has already supplied all of my needs. He have already exceeded my own expectations for myself. There is nothing that I need beyond what God provides. He provides everything I need when I need it, how I need it. And so I am content with just serving well, I could serve. When I've known that about you for a long time, in fact, like one of the very first moments that we had together, we were right here in this room. And you had just gone before the parole board and got denied your parole. Your wife standing over there, your two daughters. Obviously, they want you home. So that was very upsetting for them. And I got up from what I was doing over here and walked over to just pray with you. And I think I was more sad than you were. Not gonna lie, the confidence and the courage and the peace that you had, like I've never forgotten that. Because I looked at you and I said, man, are you okay? And you looked back at me and your response was, maybe it's for one more. Like maybe God has me here for one more. I don't know what it is. But if it's just for one, then it's worth it.

And that's the heart that you have. That's the mission that you're on. That's the influence that you've made in this prison over the course of your last 20 plus years in here. And I've seen it. In fact, I was in Rome, and I got to go and visit Paul's prison. And it's said that that's where he wrote Second Timothy. And so when I'm standing at the bottom of this prison, which is literally a hole in the ground. And I'm reading Second Timothy inside of this prison, this hole. And I'm imagining I'm envisioning like Paul sitting over in that corner, legs crossed, only light he has and that's coming in from this little tiny hole in the roof of this hole. And yet when I read Second Timothy, the piece that he has, as he's right set, like we think of corrections today and corrections can definitely get better, right? We can get better. But like you think of the Romans and how barbaric they were, like Paul doesn't know if he's going to just be left in that whole guy. He doesn't know if he's going to be dragged out in the middle of night and crucified, just like his savior, who he was going to tell the world about and why he's sitting in that hole. But he he writes with such peace and that same piece is what I see in you. That same piece is what I've experienced with you. That same on mission mindset is what I've experienced with you in seeing you in every single one of these guys lives over the course of the last couple of years. But then that moment right there confirmed at all, it was like there's a piece about you that maybe it's just one more how do you how do you get that mindset? Like if there's guys listening right now, who have been Christians, I know guys in the free world that have been Christians for a very long time that don't have that piece. Like, how do you come to yourself to find that piece?

That's the key. You come to the end of yourself. When you've come to the end of yourself, when you realize that every decision you've made, every choice you made, every person you heard. When you come to a true understanding that there is nothing about you. That is worth savaging. That only a saviour who love you, in spite of all your imperfections, and gave his life for you. When you come to understanding that you deserve death. But he gave you eternal life. There is nothing but peace that can derive from that. Because I know that my whatever demon lives, because his spirit lives on the inside of me. And so when I look over the course of my life, maybe the spirit lives on me. Let me tell you about when my mom passed, because that was the turning point of my life. That was the point when I knew dead, there was nothing that can pluck me out of the Lord's hands. That's what I knew that there was no way I would ever go back. When my mom passed, I reeled against God, because I feel like I feel like I feel like I feel like And I always said, even when I was a kid, that if my mom have a past, that would be nothing worth me living for. And I told God when my mom passed that, why would you take my mom? The question I asked the guy was, why would you take my mom right when I gave my life completed to you? What is the purpose? I could not see a reason why. But when I gave my life to Christ, the one person I shared every single moment, every single joy, every single piece that I felt with was my mom. And in her letter, she wrote me telling me how happy she was, how many years she prayed for me to get to this place. But I never really, I never allowed those letters

to really resonate with me because I was so in love with who I was in Christ. So I never really paid attention to those letters. And so after my mom died and I went to this place where I didn't want to do anything, I didn't want to pray, I didn't want to talk to God when I did talk to God. It was, you lie to me, you did this, and then one day God spoke to me. The first time I believed God ever really spoke to me. It was, do you believe that I am who I am? And I'm, I was laying down, I don't know if I was asleep, I was semi-sleep or what, but when I woke up, that question was in my spirit. And then the next thing was the awareness that these letters was in my locker box. And so when I start to read these letters, I listen, I read my mom telling me that she had started going to church. I read that my mom had stopped using drugs. I read that my mom got baptized. I read that my mom gave her life to Christ. And then I heard God say, if you believe I am who I am, then you know she is with me. Wow, you man. And I knew in that moment that God had brought me to a place of redemption so that I would be the first person to shut a gospel with my mom. Because he knew that if she were the receiving from anybody else, it would be the one person that she prayed for when she didn't even pray for herself. And that was the love of my mom. And so at that moment, I knew, I understood that God made decisions. And those decisions will never ever match our understanding of how things supposed to go. But they will always be perfect in every single way. And so from that moment to this moment, I have no fears. I have no worries. I have no concern. I know that no matter what the decision is in my life,

God's all I need is one yes from God. And my life is completely changed. That any situation I'm in, he's in it with me. So why should I fret? It don't matter who come in my life or who go, God is with me. And so just like the day when I went into the parole board, I went into the parole board with a piece of my spirit, understanding that man does not have the final say in my life. Yes, God has empowered them with authority to make decisions. But what he's done in my life, no one can undo. And even if they cannot see it, I know that he does. And so I go in with a resume that says in the test to who I am in him and what I have done, I go into man's status. I go to man and I submit myself to man's examination because God has ordained all authority. And therefore I submit myself to all authority. But at the end of the day, when the decision was made, I had no doubt that God said there is still more work to be done. And as long as there's more work to be done, I will be here. And why I'm here, I will serve. Because at the end of the day, when he says time to go, I don't need a boy. I don't need a law. I don't need anything. I believe this. And so I give it to my family just like that. And I tell them, my daughters were broken hearted because for them, my dad is not the person that he used to be. My family, they know who I am, my supporters. They know who I am because they see me walk it out. But they don't know him the way I know him.

And so it's hard for them to have my love of trust. They don't deny my trust, but they just haven't arrived there. The difference in my life since she's been gone is that when I went up the second time and did not make it, my wife could not take it. It was too much for her because they said there was nothing else I could do in prison to rehabilitate myself. There was no reason for me to be isolated. The only thing that's left is for me to do time. She automatically assumed that when I went up the second time, I would know how I'd caution her against it that I would make it. And so she left for a year. She came back with that expectation. And when that expectation was not fulfilled, there created a distance that could not be breached. That was unwillingness to continue. And it's OK because I understand this journey is not for everybody. This is my journey and everybody that want to be a part of it, I welcome. But as I said before, it does not matter who's who comes, who goes. I still have this journey and I still have Jesus and so I continue. Well, you're you're in an inspiration to so many. And and to me, like, I'm so proud of you. And I'm happy to be on this journey with you. And I hope that you're proud of you because truly like you inspire me in ways that I can't even truly describe. Like every day I got a love for you, brother, like and and I believe that God is going to redeem this whole story. I truly believe that you're going to walk out of this prison one day and that you're going to have the same impact that you've had on this community and to whatever community that you go to. And I want to be a part of all of that.

And I don't know if it's theologically correct, but I like to believe that our loved ones that are in heaven, like God gives them a little window to our lives and what we're doing down here on earth. And I believe that your mom, brother, is so proud of you. Everything that she's prayed for. It would be just like God to literally show her the real of your life and every prayer that you made, like I want you to know, has been answered through this man. And I believe that for you. My final question as we wrap this up is like our audience, those that are in prison, those that are out of prison, we've got a free world audience. Like what do you, what do you want the world to know about Robert McKee? Who is Robert McKee, Yogi? What's the last thing that you've, you, if this was your last thing, you could say the world, who are you and what would you want them to know about you? The one thing I will want people to know about me is is that I'm a born again, believe in Christ. And everything I do is for his glory. I don't need any accolades. I don't know. I don't need anything. All I want to do is have an opportunity to do what it is he's called me to do. And I feel that he has given me a ministry. And I believe that right here in this moment, he is allowing me to exercise all my gifts and abilities so that when he, he finally let me out of here. To enter into my purpose that I will not only know what to do, I will know how to do it. And so there's my change. It's not my change. My change is solely his spirit. You would never see

me the way that I am because you will see the things that I've done and automatically attach that to the person. transformation is from the inside. It has nothing to do with anything that I've done but everything that I'm doing because my walk is a testimony of who I am in him. And so there is nothing about me that I want to wear. I know other than the fact that whenever you see me, just know that I will be doing what he called I love you, brother. Thank you so much. Love you, too. I love you, too. [BLANK_AUDIO]