Guardrails | Who Are You Riding With?

We are in part two of a series that we are calling, obviously, guardrails, and here's why we're kind of calling it that. I think that it's pretty understandable that everybody is pretty familiar with guardrails, right? They are that invisible part of our driving experience that we don't even really notice that is until you need one. And just for the sake of our series, we've defined what a guardrail actually is. It's a system that's designed to keep vehicles from straying into dangerous or off-limit areas. Pretty much, we know that. And you find guardrails in our driving experience in three basic places. You find them in bridges. You find them in medians and curves. You find them at bridges, areas where there is a very small margin for error. You find them in medians to protect us from people that are moving in the opposite direction. Now, pay close attention to that because that's what we're going to talk about today. And then number three, you find them at curves, unexpected changes that come up quickly in our lives. And guardrails are not there to limit our driving experience. We all understand that and know that. They are there for one reason and one reason only, to save our lives. That's the reason they were invented. That's the reason they're created. That's the reason they're manufactured. That's the reason they're erected all over the roads to save our lives. They sit on the edges of the road and stand as a barrier and a protector from what is just beyond it. A cliff, a deep ditch, oncoming traffic, whatever it may be. And I shared with you last week that nobody, nobody goes down to DOT, to the Department of Transportation and rallies a picket line or petitions DOT and says, listen, we want you to take these down. Nobody goes to the Florida State Legislature and goes, look, we want these out of the way. You are limiting our driving experience. There's three more feet of road that I could drive on. I don't want these things here anymore. Nobody does that. Why? Because we all basically understand and we celebrate that they are there to keep us safe. And because of it, we appreciate the fact that people have taken precautions for us. And here's what we're doing in our series. We are examining the word of God and we're looking at how God uses this basically exact same principle in our lives to protect us and to keep us safe. Because if we were all honest with ourselves, the truth of the matter is much of the greatest regrets in our life could have been avoided if we would have only had some guardrails in place. If we would have only had some guardrails in our marriages, if we'd only had some guardrails in our finances, if we'd only had some guardrails in our friendships or our morals or our ethics. And here's how we're defining a spiritual guardrail for our series. If you're taking screenshots, a spiritual guardrail is

basically a biblical instruction for our lives that becomes a matter of personal conscience. Let me say it again. It's a biblical instruction for our lives from God's word that it becomes a matter of personal conscience. Say, Pastor, what does that mean? It means that we're looking at the scripture to see some of the parameters that God has lovingly placed in our lives as our heavenly father that are there to serve and protect and preserve us. And our prayer is that those parameters would start to become a normal part of our decision-making process as followers of the Lord Jesus Christ. That we would not live our lives only by what we feel in the moment because that will lie to us. The Bible says, he that trusteth in his own heart is a fool. And what he's saying is, your heart will lie to you about things. We cannot trust our feelings, but that we would use the word of God and what our loving heavenly father has set for us. And our decisions about our family, our finances, our future, all of that would come through the filter of the word of God. And today, I want us to look at a very specific area of our lives, relationships. And more specifically, I want us to look at our friendships. So what we're going to do for the next few minutes is we're going to take a close look at your posse, your people, your amigos, your homies, whatever you call them, your wolf pack. And we're going to find out about the people that you are journeying through life with because here's what I know. At some point in every one of our lives, we are going to find ourselves in close proximity to people who are moving in the opposite direction that we are. Now that's true. Or moving in a dangerous direction. And because of it, we need space or margin or a guardrail between us, or they have the potential to derail our purpose, derail our life and take us out. Now, here's what I suspect if you're like me, this tension of moving in the opposite direction or of being too close to the people began for most of us when we were just little kids didn't it it began when we were just children or in our childhood if you grew up kind of in an average home your parents constantly freaked out about the people that you spent time with and if you were like me you didn't understand that you didn't get that I didn't know why they were so wigged out by this guy or by or by that person and most of us probably had parents that would say things like no you cannot go to his house or her house or spend the night there and we're like why it's so great their parents are never home and we get to do whatever we want to do I don't know why you wouldn't want me to have such unsupervised fun

right and my dad would go bro you just answered your own question I mean that that's that's why right and so much of us can relate to that our parents freaking out over who we hang out with because for many of us now we're parents and we totally understand why because now you're the fuddy-duddy now you're the cramp killer now you're the one trying to cramp their style you're the one that they don't understand that they argue with and bicker with and get mad at over it but now we understand we understand what our parents understood then if you're taking screenshots this is an important one for our sermon today we understand now that not only do our friends influence the quality and direction of our lives it's deeper than that it's more pivotal than that our friends actually have the potential to determine not just influence but determine the quality and direction of our lives and that is absolutely true and here's the thing about friendships that's so important for you and I to understand listen I don't have a slide for it but if you're taking notes this is a good one to write down the very thing that makes friendships so incredibly great it's the same thing that makes friendships so incredibly dangerous when I am with a friend I drop my guard when you are with your friends you drop your guard the reason that we're attracted to certain people is because if we are really brutally honest and I think we should be we are all acceptance magnets we are repelled by rejection we're attracted to acceptance and when I'm with people who accept me I drop my guard I'm open to things that I normally wouldn't be what I'm saying is is that acceptance leads to influence and when you are with people who fully accept you you are the most open to influence that you will ever be we all close down around rejection but we all open up around acceptance and again it's what makes friendships so great but it's also what makes friendships so dangerous let me say it like this if as a teenager you ever smoked cigarettes drank alcohol or tried drugs for the first time I'll bet you that the first time you tried those things you were with somebody I bet you didn't just crave a good slug of liquor by yourself when you were 12 I was I did all of those things when I was 12 13 and 14 and

I was never by myself I didn't want those things I didn't crave those things I didn't wake up with those things what I craved was acceptance what I craved was belonging what I craved was to fit in with everybody else and I did all of those things with other people and the problem with that is is that I carry that stuff well into my adulthood and it cost me things that I never thought it was going to cost me for years early in my life and beyond I was bound by all sorts of addictions and things that I was first introduced to by people that all I wanted to do was fit in with and it's caused me a ton of unnecessary pain and problems in my life and I have lingering regrets as a result of those things thank you I will I'm bringing it baby I'm bringing it matter of fact let me let me give you another screenshot it's so important for you to know I've learned this I'm 48 and I've lived a little bit now some of y'all much older than me some of y'all much younger than me but I've learned some things at this stage of my life and I'm telling you what I'm about to show you is the absolute truth whether you believe this right now or not some of the greatest regrets in your entire life will not revolve around your enemies they'll revolve around your friends I promise you I promise you I've been really transparent with you guys over the years I don't know how to be any other way I'm really careful because I never want to glorify this I really don't I'm ashamed of it I'm so embarrassed by it but I was arrested three times twice for aggravated battery and once for drug possession and the one that was for drug possession had it happened had I had I been picked up an hour earlier I can promise you I wouldn't be here today and be your pastor and that all happened because of the people that I was with it all happened because of how I got started trying to be accepted by other people. In fact, I've counseled with people who used to think that the very thing that they're doing was terribly wrong now, but now they defend their behavior. Why? Because they got close to people moving fast in the opposite direction, and they didn't have any guardrails in their life, and they ended up getting swept up in the traffic and completely changing direction. So

what I'm trying to say to you today, not me, but the Bible, the Word of God, the Bible constantly tells us in Old and New Testament who you allow into your life, and the influence they have in your life makes all the difference in the world. Who has total access to you can make all the difference, not only for your life, but the life of your family, and the life of your children, and the life of your grandchildren. It can literally determine, not just influence, but determine the quality and direction of your entire life. And let me just, for all fairness, it works for you and it can work against you. In the last, oh I don't know, maybe three weeks, five weeks, I've had conversations with at least six different people that have come to Canvas and given their lives to the Lord Jesus Christ, and watched God begin to rewrite their story and transform their marriage from the inside out. And every one of those people had come to Christ and experienced freedom as a result of the influence of some loving and caring Christ followers like you, sitting in these seats, who took the time to invite them to church and encourage them towards Jesus Christ. And they've come to me and said, the direction of my entire life, Pastor, has been changed for good. Our marriage is stronger. Our hearts are more at peace. We have a sense of purpose in our lives. Christ is the greatest thing that ever happened to me. Why? Because they didn't get her on their own. They got here because somebody influenced them, and invited them, and loved them, and told them how amazing God was, and how incredible our church was, and that He invited them to come as they were. That they didn't have to jump through religious hoops to find freedom and forgiveness and healing. That the cross invites you to come with all of your baggage, and all of your brokenness, all of the crap in your life, and lay it at the feet of Jesus. And by His grace, He delivers us from it, and makes us new in Jesus, whom the Son sets free, is free indeed. Thank God for that. But on the other side, and you know this is true, we all have seen brothers, people we love, cousins, sisters, and other people we care about swept up in terrible things, and have had their lives destroyed, and their potential robbed, because they gave access to the wrong people, and got caught in the wrong traffic. Now, there

was a lot of scriptures that I wanted to bring out today. Lots and lots of scriptures. But I really felt like, as I studied this, that the Holy Spirit brought me to this one particular poignant scripture that I think is so short, but so pregnant and poignant, that this is what I feel like the Lord wants us to hear today. And it was written by, which I think demands extra attention, is written by the wisest man who ever lived. Now, we know that Jesus was God. Jesus was God made flesh, dwelt among us, so He had supernatural knowledge, all knowledge. But there's one other guy in Scripture that the Bible tells us that when he came to a place in his life, and God basically gave him a blank check, He said, what do you want? Solomon asked for wisdom beyond his years, and what God gave this man in the Old Testament was supernatural wisdom. Not normal wisdom, not normal intelligence. Supernatural, unprecedented, God-from-above wisdom in his life. And he wrote the book of Proverbs, and many other books in the Bible, but most of the Proverbs were written by Solomon. And what I'm about to read to you was written by the wisest man who ever lived. And here's what he said. Proverbs chapter 13, verse 20. I'm gonna read it in the message. He said, walk with the wise, and you yourself will become wise. Hang out with fools, and watch your life fall to pieces. Now, you don't really need a theology degree to understand that one. It's pretty strong. You don't need to go to Bible college or seminary to break that one down. It sounds exactly like what it says. And here's what Solomon basically said in Proverbs 13 and 20. He said, show me your friends, and I'll show you your future. Show me your friends, and I'll show you your future. And while that's true, let me show you that it does demand a closer look. And here's why. Because upon closer examination of Proverbs 13 20, there are actually two parts to it. One is a promise that he makes, and the other, the second part, is a warning. One is a promise, one is a warning. I'll show you what I mean. Number one, the promise. The promise that Solomon says is, wisdom is contagious. It is infectious. It will eventually spill over into your life. Solomon says that if you surround yourself with people that the scripture defines as wise, it is contagious. That you yourself will begin to become wise.

That you will become a wiser person simply because of their proximity in in your life, and I can testify that this is true. After 27 years of leadership and pastoring, I have spent so much of my life pursuing men that pastor larger churches than me that have finished well or that are doing it right, and I have sought them out and asked if I could have a place in their life, if they would teach me and mentor me and pour into my life, and I have been so blessed and privileged that God has given me access to some of the most amazing pastors and minds in this country, and I fly to where they are. I just got back just yesterday from North Georgia, spending time with some friends and family, but this gentleman's been a mentor to me, a lover of my soul to me, to care for my mind and my pastor's heart, and I've spent time with these men, and I can tell you, after all of these years, it is true, it translates into your life and your leadership, and Canvas has been the recipient of the wisdom of many of these men and women that have poured into my life. The promise is it is contagious. They say, pastor, how does the Bible define a wise person? Well, let me give you a screenshot. A wise person, biblically, is a person who truly understands that all of life is connected. They understand that all of life is connected. They understand that what you do today,

what you decide today, what you think about today will ultimately influence your tomorrow, and they get that all of life is connected. So a wise person makes decisions based not simply on today or right now or just how they feel, but their decisions are led by what they know those decisions will produce tomorrow and the next day. They are aware of the ripple effect of life that comes from today's actions and decisions. Let me say it to you this way. A wise person plays the long game, and they know that generally, quick, sure-sighted decisions made only for the moment will always lead to regret, and the scripture promises that when you begin to keep close company with people who live this way, when you begin to keep close company with people who behave this way, who act this way, it will begin to influence how you see the world as well, and you will naturally begin to make better decisions yourself. It's a promise in the word of God. But then the second part is a warning, and let me just show you the subtle change. The reason it's so subtle and the reason you gotta point it out is because you would naturally believe that it's just the antithesis of the first, that it is just the mirror image of the first.

In other words, you would say, well, if I walk with wise, I become wise. If I walk with foolish people, then I myself will become foolish. That's not what it says. Let me show you what it says. The warning is this. The warning is the person who consistently does life with foolish people will eventually and inevitably be impacted by the behavior of the fool. Let me read it again. He said walk with the wise, become wise, hang out with fools, and watch your life fall to pieces. He didn't say walk with the foolish and you yourself become foolish. Here's what it means. It means that you may spend your entire life with foolish people and never yourself see the world as they see it or never yourself behave the way that they behave, but eventually when their life explodes and it will because you are standing close enough to them when it happens, the shrapnel and the concussion from that explosion can directly impact your life as well and you become the collateral damage of the foolish behavior of somebody else. That's what it says. That's what it says. Here's why it's such a big deal. All right, let me just say it.

Because some of you have probably done the very thing that I did for years. Many of us, including me, at times in my life, defended unhealthy relationships that I knew were not right by saying to people who warned me, yes, but I'll never do what they do. I'll never think how they think. I'll never act like they act. I'll never participate in the things that they participate in. Don't worry about me, I'm safe. And Solomon wrote 3,000 years ago, no, you're not. You're close enough to where it's all gonna go down that you're not gonna get out of it unscathed in your life because whether you adopt the lifestyle or mindset of the foolish or not, if you stay close enough, long enough, you will eventually get caught in the crossfire and the fallout of their short-sighted behavior. Now you say, pastor, we know what a wise person is. What does the Bible say a foolish person is? Glad you asked, here it is. Bible says a foolish person is a person who actually knows the difference between right and wrong, and they just don't even care. They actually know the difference. They know what they're doing is wrong. They know what they're doing is the wrong. They know how they're acting, they know where they're going, they know what eventually may, could happen,

but they just don't even really care about it. Surround yourself with people like this long enough, and trouble is inevitable. One of the most literal and memorable examples of what I'm trying to preach to you today that I've ever seen in my life happened years ago when I was an itinerant speaker. Many of you know this, some of you don't. The first seven years that I was in ministry in my 20s, I traveled around the world, really, but around the country preaching 40 weeks a year, and God blessed our ministry, and I was able to spend time with so many pastors and churches, and there was one church in Lakeland that I frequented often, and I knew this young man. I'd been there so many times, but one time I showed up and everything was different. His name was Tony, and Tony was a wonderful young man, and Tony could preach this sermon, quite honestly, far better than me. He knows this principle that I'm sharing with you better than anyone maybe I know, because not one time in Tony's life did he ever drink and drive, but in 1996, he climbed into the passenger seat of a fool's car, who did. The fool walked away. Tony never walked again. In fact, Tony never has done anything again.

He's a quadriplegic. He lives in Lakeland with his mother and his father, and the truth is we all have some kind of story like this. People that we know who were the wrong people at the wrong time and suffered the horrible consequences of a fool's bad decision and behavior, and by the way, I didn't write this stuff. I always tell y'all I'm the mailman, dude. I don't write it. I just deliver the message, but if you really want some strong language, you really ought to Google the word fool in the Proverbs and see how much Solomon talks about fools and foolish behavior, and he gets so raw with it. I'll share one with you. In Proverbs chapter 23 and verse nine, Solomon says, don't even waste your breath trying to correct a fool. He'll just laugh at you. Now, I like, whoa, bro. That's strong as all get out. Don't even waste your breath. Solomon says, warning a fool that his actions will ruin his life, his marriage, and all that is important will not make him go, wow, thank you so much for sharing that with me. I'm changing everything from now on. I'm gonna stop acting that way, and I'm gonna quit doing this, and I'm gonna turn my life around.

Bible says he'll actually mock it because he just doesn't care, and the warning of Scripture is so strong that if the people we hang out with most live their lives and act as though today is not connected to tomorrow, eventually we will get burnt ourselves by their bad decisions. Listen to it again. Walk with the wise, and we become wise. It's beautiful, but if we do not walk with the wise and we hang out with foolish people, our lives will fall to pieces, and it just makes sense, doesn't it? Think about it for a second. If we have people close to us that don't care about their own lives, what makes you think they're gonna care about yours? If we have friends that are not concerned about their health and well-being of their own marriage, what makes you think they're gonna be concerned about our marriage? If we have friends that don't care about their own reputation, why would they care about ours? If our closest friends are reckless with their finances, why would they all of a sudden be super careful with us? They're not gonna be. Now, there's something so beautiful about the preaching of the gospel

that I'm so thankful for that I think probably has been happening in this room over the last 20 minutes. The power of the gospel, its ability to change lives, is not dependent only on the articulative ability of a communicator or a purveyor of communication. Now, it matters. I wanna be the best communicator I can be, but what I've learned over the years is that there have been times that I've walked up here and preached what I thought was the worst sermons I've ever preached in my life and walked off this stage humiliated and discouraged. And people catch me in the lobby crying their eyes out saying, it's the greatest sermon I've ever heard in my life. So what I know is there's something more that happens. Paul once said it this way. He said, for I come not to you with enticing words of men's wisdom, but in the demonstration and power of the Holy Spirit. The third person of the Trinity takes the preaching of the gospel. And no matter how sometimes futile it may be, he does something between the words and the hearts of the people who hear it. And my suspicion is, is that there's people in this room right now, some of us, if not all of us, that as I've been preaching about these relationships, that you are getting images and mental pictures

of people in your head right now, or a group of people in your head right now. And you're saying to yourself, how did pastor know? I didn't, God did. And he gave it to Solomon 3,000 years ago for us to be able to have this conversation today because the human condition has been the same for all of these years. And if I can just be really honest with you, as a pastor for 20-something years. now 27 years. I am so sick of watching the devil wreak havoc in people's lives. It has been this journey of just, yes, I thank God for the souls that are saved. I thank God for all of the good stories that we get to see and hear. But for all of those good stories that we get to see and hear, there are five stories of people's lives that were destroyed because the enemy wreaked havoc and they ignored the instructions of God. And as a pastor, after a period of time, it just breaks you down because you love people. And after talking with people and weeping with people and watching broken people and seeing people caught in the wake of some of the worst tragedies imaginable, what I want to do today for the last remaining 10 minutes is this. I want to wrap this message up by offering you four ways for you to discern relationships and people in your life that require a guardrail. I'm going to give you four ways for you to know, because if you're wrestling with it and you go, you know, I'm kind of suspicious, but I'm not really sure. I'm going to give you kind of a litmus test if I can, because I love you. I want to give you four ways for you to know that if you sense any one of these four things in your life, in that relationship, that relationship requires, demands a guardrail so that you can escape the wake of what's coming in their life. Here we go. Take screenshots if you want, but these are four worth having. Number one, when it dawns on you that your core group isn't moving in the direction you and God want your life to be moving in, you need a guardrail. When you realize that your value system is completely different than those people, that what you want for your marriage, what you want for your life, what you want for your spirituality is moving in the complete

opposite direction of most of those people you hang out with, it should be a red flag and you need a guardrail in that relationship in your life. And by the way, for good measure, this is why we are so committed to getting people plugged into serving groups and life groups in our church. Our whole goal is to attempt to help you jumpstart some new relationships with people that are moving in the same direction, that want to grow in God, that want their marriages to be strong, that want to live lives of purpose. We're trying to get you connected with people that can encourage you and pray for you and help you and you can do life with. That's why it's so important. Let me just say this. This is why watching church online is not enough. If 2020 has taught me anything as a pastor, it is that while I thank God for technology and while we use it to broadcast all over the world, there is no substitute for doing life together and for having church one another so that we can Life touch life and encourage and pray and worship together and serve together and be in the same room together. It's wonderful. I thank God for it, but it's not enough. We have got to have the body of Christ has to be the body of Christ. I am more convinced now that this will never go away. And by the way, there are some pastors that think it will. They are already taking their churches off and doing all online only. I think it is the greatest tragedy. This still works. It ain't perfect. She ain't always got it together. I certainly don't always have it together, but it's the best thing going. And as long as the gospel's here and the Holy Spirit's here and we're here together, something good will always happen. I know that. So if you're watching online, bro, I'm not trying to throat punch nobody. I'm just saying. And you can come home. You need to come home. I worry about you. I'm praying for you. I don't want to see the enemy do nothing crazy in your life. And the more you stay away from God's house, it will. Number two, when you catch yourself pretending to be somebody other than you know, you really are and desire to be, you need a guardrail. When you catch yourself pretending to be somebody other than who you know you really are and desire to be, you need a guardrail. When you begin to realize that when I'm with this particular group of people, I pretend. You need a guardrail. When you ignore certain values and act completely different than who you truly are, it's time for some healthy boundaries in that relationship. And many of us have even received warnings, haven't we? I mean, think about it. For some of us, our wives have said to us, or maybe

your husbands have said to you, you know, every time you hang out with that person, you come home and you act totally different. You come back different. Something about you is different. You act like a totally different person. Whoever you are around, whenever you're around people and you find yourself willing to compromise your whole personality to fit in and you're willing to change your whole. system to be accepted, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, you need a guardrail. That is a massive red flag in your life. Number three, we pick up the pace here. Now this isn't just for young people, but I hope there's a bunch of young people here today because it really does apply, not just for young people, but I think it's super applicable to young people. When you find yourself saying, I'll go, but I won't participate, yeah, right. I said that a billion times, and then I was right there with them, baby, getting, I mean, I just, I mean, you know, I always said, nah, man, I'm smarter than that. Nah, man, I know where that could lead, and I'm not down with that. And then when I got there, and everybody was bumping and jumping and rolling, and don't, you know what I'm saying? And then I was the only guy not bumping and jumping and rolling and, you know. Well, you know, by the time it's over, I'm the leader of the whole thing. If you say to yourself, all right, here's the deal. I'm gonna go, but I'm not gonna participate.

You need a guardrail. Don't forget what Solomon said. The danger zone is not simply that you're gonna do what they're doing. That's not what he said, the danger zone is. The danger zone is the fact that you are simply present while they're doing it because when it goes south, you can be close enough to catch some of the bullets because, look, you never know when they're gonna finally get busted. You never know when they're finally gonna go too far. You never know when they're finally gonna cross the line. You never know when it's finally gonna go down, and if you're close enough to them when it does, you may not be able to recover. Number four, and finally, when you hope the people you care about the most and respect the most don't find out where you've been or who you've been doing it with, you need a guardrail. If there's anything inside you that tenses up or that makes you fearful that the people that you love the most and the people whose opinion you respect the most will find out where you've been and what you've been doing, you need a guardrail in your life. Now, let me address as I close these last, I got one minute, 51 seconds. Y'all think I can do it? Y'all all know I can't do that. Give me two and a half.

Because I gotta say this, I gotta address this, because I know as I've been preaching this, there's a spiritual elephant in the room for somebody. Somebody's been thinking this, if not all of you, and here's what I know you've probably been thinking. Pastor, that doesn't sound very compassionate. That don't sound very Christ-like because you're the one who stands up there all the time and preaches to us that Jesus ate with publicans and prostitutes and sinners, and he went to tax collectors' houses, and he hung out with people that Pharisees and religious people would not hang out with, and what you're telling me is that I need to have some margin between me and those people in my life. That don't sound very Christ-like to me. Well, let me just say this to you. Of course, of course, of course, this church, if you have attended Canvas any length of time at all, you know that this entire church, this entire vision has been built for those who are far from God so that people know that you don't have to jump through religious hoops to somehow make yourself acceptable to God. That if there's a church that you don't have to fit into the mold or feel like you have to fit in or just do all the other religious things that other people do for you to come to Jesus and find hope and healing for your life, this is the church.

You are welcome to come as you are. We will never judge someone or look down our noses at other people. They are loved and embraced and accepted in this church and always will be because we are all sinners saved by the grace of God. Nothing I can do to earn it, nothing you can do to earn it. That means the ground is flat around the cross. But I want you to hear this. This is so important, I'm gonna give you screenshots how important it was. You must never confuse compassion with wisdom. You must never confuse compassion with wisdom. Here's what I mean. Please listen carefully. Compassion will never require you to compromise your pursuit and love for Christ and your commitment to his word and his instructions in our life. People who allow people to influence them to compromise their walk with God in the name of love are walking in misguided compassion and it's one of the biggest problems in our world today. That if we don't condone. body's behavior or we take a biblical stand now we're a bigot and we're hate we're hateful and that we're judging and we're blah blah blah nothing could be further from the truth we can love people with all our heart soul mind and strength and still say God's Word is the standard for our lives but you got to be bold enough to say it but as soon as you do people are gonna hate you in fact can I tell you that nobody navigated that better than Jesus Christ himself in the same scripture Jesus makes this statement I bet you've heard this one

where Jesus said before you worry about the speck in your brother's eye you ought to get the log out of your own okay so he's saying don't judge because you don't know the heart only God has the ability to really know the heart but then in the same scripture in the same breath then Jesus says oh and by the way don't throw your pearl before the swine well if I'm not gonna judge anybody then how do I know who's swine and who's not Jesus navigated this beautifully in fact I probably need to preach this sermon to you I haven't preached it in years I got a sermon on that text called logs dogs and dirty hogs that's the name of it logs dogs and dirty hogs here's what Jesus did beautifully Jesus said there is a difference between judging and discernment judging someone is trying to be God in their life but being discerning means that we can clearly see the difference between someone who has embraced God's standard of living for their life and someone who has not and God said we need to make the decisions about our relationships and about who we spend time with and who has access to our life based on the discernment of who is in our lives that's moving in the same direction of God that we are let me say this sometimes one of the most compassionate things you can do is to get as far away from the imminent explosion as you know that is coming so that when the dust settles you will be well enough and strong enough and healed enough to help them pick up the pieces of their lives and some of you have already experienced this from co-workers or friends or family people that respect your walk with God when the bomb dropped in their life guess who they came looking for the people on your job that would they didn't want nobody else to hear but they they got around a corner from the water cooler and they said hey man I don't really I'm not really a church dude but my wife's leaving me and I think you are would you just pray for me we've you many of us have experienced that they know that there's something different about our lives and let me say this as I close remember that nobody has ever regretted having a guardrail in their life no one has ever regretted having a guardrail in their life but there are millions and millions of people that

have regretted not having them and your Heavenly Father loves you and wants you to live in a place of safety and you need some friendship guardrails because while friendship is awesome it is also dangerous and my prayer for you as your pastor is that you would walk with the wise so that you yourself would become wise