God is Pro-Sex | Pastor Chris Kouba | United City Church

Well, good morning, 1130, it's good to be with you. Hey, why don't you stand with us as we sing and worship. It has been an amazing day already. Is anybody excited to be in the house of the Lord today? Come on, we'll sing. ♪ Wandering into the night ♪ That's right. ♪ Wanting a place to hide his weary soul ♪ ♪ This bag of bones ♪ ♪ And I tried with all my might ♪ ♪ But I just can't win the fight ♪ ♪ I'm slowly drifting, a bag of bones ♪ Come on, if you know it, you can sing it out. ♪ And just when I ran out of road ♪ Come on, we met a man that claimed us up. ♪ And he told me ♪ ♪ He told me when I was not alone ♪ Come on. ♪ He picked me up, he turned me around ♪ ♪ Placed my feet on the cross ♪ See, I thank the master, yeah. And why? ♪ Because he healed my heart ♪ ♪ Changed my name forever free ♪ ♪ I am not the same, I thank the master ♪ And I thank the Savior. ♪ I thank God ♪ ♪ I cannot deny what I've seen ♪ ♪ Got no choice but to believe my doubts are burning ♪ ♪ Like ashes in the wind ♪

♪ So, so long to my old friend ♪ ♪ Burning in bitterness, you can just keep it moving ♪ You ain't welcome here. ♪ From now till I walk the streets of gold ♪ ♪ I'll sing how you saved my soul ♪ ♪ His wayward son has found his way back home ♪ ♪ He picked me up, he turned me around ♪ ♪ Placed my feet on solid ground ♪ ♪ I thank the master, I thank the Savior ♪ ♪ Because he healed my heart, he changed my name ♪ ♪ Forever free, I'm not the same ♪ ♪ I thank the master, I thank the Savior, I thank God, yeah ♪ ♪ Had lost another word, I am free, I am free, I am free ♪ ♪ Had lost another word, I am free, I am free, I am free ♪ ♪ Had lost another word, sayin' I am free, I am free, I am free ♪ ♪ Had lost another word, sayin' I am free, I am free, I am free ♪ ♪ They lost another word, sayin' I am free, I am free, I am free ♪ ♪ They messed me up, messed me up, messed me up, messed me up ♪ ♪ I think the master, said, I am free, I am free, I am free, I am free ♪ ♪ Had open my eyes to another heart, another voice, another voice ♪ ♪ Hadn't seen my face, had lost another word, I had lost another word, I am free, I am free, I am free, I am free ♪ ♪ Whoa, thank you God, board of the free, and I thank the master, yeah. Whoa, I thank God. Oh, thank you, Jesus. Oh-oh. Oh, thank God. ♪ ♪ Oh-oh, ho, thank you, Father, ho-oh. I love you God, for everything you have, keep you in my hand. God will praise for He is worthy, to be praised in this place. Amen. All right, thank you. All right, guys.

Good morning, United City! How are we doing today? Good morning! I am here with Maci, and Maci was telling me that, all her life she has kinda struggled with anxiety and fear. And around last year, she started coming to United City with her friends. And since then, has decided to give all that to Jesus, and know that she's gonna put her faith in Jesus today, and make the greatest decision of her life today, in getting baptized. So Maci, my question to you is, do you believe that Jesus Christ is your Lord and Savior? Yes. It's my privilege to baptize you in the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Kylie was telling me, she grew up, you know, knowing about Jesus, but never. gave Jesus her full yes and recently she's decided to do that and today she's making that choice by getting baptized today to show not only her you guys today but all of her friends here are here to support her so Kylie my question is do you believe that Jesus Christ is your Lord and Savior? A thousand times yes. My privilege is baptizing you in the name of the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit. This is my man Jerome. So actually I met Jerome yesterday at serve day and man Jerome has told me that his whole life he has experienced a lot of hurt a lot a lot of just stuff and that today he knew that his putting his faith in Jesus he didn't baptize today's gonna be one of the best decisions he's ever made in his life and so Jerome my question to you is do you believe that Jesus Christ is your Lord and Savior? Come on. My privilege is baptizing you in the name of the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit. I respect your baptism and raise you to a new life. Amen. Can you guys help me celebrate life change this morning? That is our eighth baptism today. What an incredible morning we've had. If you are a first-time guest with us in the house this morning we just want to take a moment to say welcome. We're so glad that you decided to spend your morning here with us at United City. What I'd like to ask you to do is fill out our first-time guest form. You can do that by using the tab tag on the seat back in front of you. It's just a little bit of information that we'd like to get. We're not going to bombard you with communication but we would like as a staff to take a moment this week to reach out to you personally and then after service if you go out into the lobby there's three large blue banners with a serve team of people that would love to shake your hand. They have a gift for you. They can answer any questions that you have about what happens here at United City and help you get connected to one of our incredible life groups. Also on the tab tag there's

all the information about all the fun events that are happening over the next few weeks that you don't want to miss out on and it's a way for our regular attenders here to give instead of reoccurring giving. So every week when you come in this is where you want to check out. Okay so as we step into our series today we're doing the Song of Solomon and today is a PG-13 message. So if you've got an elementary child in the room with you you may want to use UC Kids. They've got incredible programming and incredible staff. They're gonna have worship and a great message and if you want to take advantage of that today we encourage you to do so. And I also just want to take a moment to mention we've got a family viewing room that we set up as a staff. It's just across the hall from growth track in the lobby and this is a great place for everybody that's got tiny babies in the room and when they get restless or they need a moment to go and eat we live stream all of our services to that room. So anytime you want to take advantage of that feel free to step out at any time in the service and go over there. Our serve team in the lobby are happy to show you where that room is and let you take advantage of that anytime that you want. At this time I'm gonna ask our ushers to come down and help us receive our tithes and offerings and if you guys would just take a moment and pray with me. Lord we just thank you so much for the opportunity to be in this place. We thank you that we get to step into this next time of worship and hear the Word. Lord I pray that today everything we do would be honoring to you. Lord help us put aside the distractions and the busyness of the week and really have a moment with you. God we thank you for all that you're doing here at United City for the eight decisions and next steps that we're taking just this morning. God we are so in awe of you. Lord we love you and we pray in Jesus' name. Amen. Amen. Church, it is so good to be with you. We want to introduce you guys to a new offering, a new song that's called What a Worthy Name. It came out this year. It is rooted in the heart and the truth of Colossians 1 and so before we sing it I just want to read Colossians 1, that portion of it for us and so we know what it is that we're singing. Colossians 1 15. He, Jesus, is the image of the invisible God, the

firstborn of all creation. For by him all things are created, both in the heavens and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones, dominions, or rulers, or authorities. All things have been created through him and for him. It says he is before all things and in him all things are held together. He can sustain you. He is also the head of the body, the church, and he is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, so that he himself will come to have first place in everything. And then it says, for it was the Father's good pleasure for all the fullness to dwell in him, church. What a worthy name is the name of Jesus. Jesus Christ. And so as we sing this song, we invite you guys to stand with us as we sing this new offering. Let's have worship this morning. ♪ He chose to grace the world that you so love ♪ ♪ The hands that turn the universe surrender to the cross ♪ ♪ Despite the sin that separated us ♪ ♪ You took the fall once and for all ♪ ♪ Salvation's in your blood ♪ ♪ What a worthy man, Jesus, Son of God ♪ ♪ High and lifted up, you deserve the praise ♪ ♪ What a worthy man, Jesus, Son of God ♪ ♪ High and lifted up, you deserve the praise ♪ ♪ You deserve, you deserve, you deserve the praise ♪ ♪ You deserve, you deserve, you deserve the praise ♪ ♪ You deserve, you deserve, you deserve the praise ♪ ♪ You deserve, you deserve, you deserve the praise ♪ ♪ You deserve, you deserve, you deserve the praise ♪ ♪ How great I am, thank you in the end, the end ♪ ♪ What a worthy name, Jesus on a high, high lifted up ♪ ♪ You deserve the praise, what a worthy name, Jesus on a high ♪

♪ Jesus on a high, high lifted up, oh you deserve the praise ♪ ♪ The praise, you deserve it, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ On your head the victor's crown, fairy dreams in heaven shine ♪ ♪ At the name, the name of Jesus, risen King of righteousness ♪ ♪ Peace will bow and tongues confess, at the name, the name of Jesus ♪ ♪ On this rock the church will stand, songs of joy will rise again ♪ ♪ At the name, the name of Jesus, Christ will reign forevermore ♪ ♪ All the saints and angels roar, at the name, the name of Jesus ♪ ♪ What a worthy name, Jesus on a high, high lifted up, oh you deserve the praise ♪ ♪ What a worthy name, Jesus on a high, high lifted up, oh you deserve the praise ♪ ♪ What a worthy name, Jesus on a high, high lifted up, oh you deserve the praise ♪ ♪ On your head the victor's crown, fairy dreams in heaven shine ♪ ♪ At the name, the name of Jesus, the name of Jesus, risen King of righteousness ♪ ♪ Peace will bow and tongues confess, at the name, the name of Jesus ♪ ♪ On this rock the church will stand, songs of joy will rise again ♪ ♪ At the name, the name of Jesus, Christ will reign forevermore ♪ ♪ All the saints and angels roar, at the name, the name of Jesus ♪ ♪ At the name, the name of Jesus, the name of Jesus, risen King of righteousness ♪ ♪ The Name, the Name, the Name of Jesus ♪ ♪ Let the Name, the Name, the Name of Jesus ♪ ♪ Jesus, Jesus ♪ ♪ We lay our praise at Your feet today ♪ ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ We sing. ♪ All the saints and angels, they bow before Your throne ♪ All the elders. ♪ And all the elders cast their crowns before the Lamb of God. ♪ Just lift your hands. ♪ You are worthy of it all. This is our worship. ♪ ♪ That You are worthy of it all. And we won't get tired of telling Your words. ♪

♪ For from You are all things and to You deserve the glory. ♪ ♪ You deserve the glory. Yes, You do. Yes, You do. It all belongs to You. We pour out our praise, our praise today. ♪ Come on, we sing, all the saints. ♪ And all the saints and angels. This is happening in real time right now. They bow before Your throne. ♪ We sing, all the elders. ♪ And all the elders cast their crowns before the Lamb of God. And we sing, You are worthy of it all. Everything we have. You are worthy of it all. ♪ ♪ My dreams, my plans, my agenda. For from You are all things and to You. Come on, United City, can we exalt the name of Jesus. Can we bestow Him to the highest name that is above every other name? You're worthy of it all. You are, You are, You are, You are. ♪ You are worthy of it all. How can I reach Him that belongs to You? For from You are all things and to You are all things. You deserve it all. Yes, You do. Yes, You do. The Scriptures say that the elders and creatures surround His throne and they sing holy, holy, holy and they do this continuously. And until we see Jesus face to face or until He comes back, we need to do the same thing. And so for just a moment, can we sing? Sing day and night and night and day, letting sense. It's never ending. Day and night and night and day. Arise day and night. And we won't get tired. Day and night and night and day. Oh. Day and night, night and day. This is my commitment. Day and night. Without heaven but You God. Day and night. Oh, day and night. Night and day. You are worthy of it all. You are worthy of it all. God. My adoration belongs to You. For from You are all things and to You are all things. You deserve it all. You are worthy. Come on one more time. Can we just sing together? Sing. Sing. You are worthy of it all. God. You are worthy of it all. Say. For from You are all. And to You are all. For from You are all. To you, Oh, from you, oh, and to you, Oh, all knees, you deserve them all Yes, you do, yes, you do Would you do me a favor? Would you do me a favor if you would, would you just bow your head and close your eyes, and if you would, just put your hands up. Just put your hands up. I want us to embody what we just sang. From you are all things, to you are all things, to you be the glory. Would you just write where you are? Would you just pray to the Lord and express why you're thankful for him? Would you give him praise? Would you give him the honor that he is due? We are extras in his movie that may or may not make the cut. He's the point, he's the focus, he's the reason that we have gathered. Now what I want you to do is I want you to put your hands out in front of you with your palms down. I want this to embody in the picture, you releasing all the things that you walked in here with. Struggles, challenges, trials.

The nagging thing that's just consuming your heart and mind, just lay it at his feet. Come into his presence, lay it at his feet. Finally, let me ask you just to flip your hands up in a posture of receiving. We serve a good God who wants to give good things to his people. We're going to open up the gift of his word and he can be trusted. So right now would you just pray, would you just say, God I receive whatever it is that you want to receive from him right now. His goodness, his mercy, his truth, his peace. Father, you are worthy of it all. Everything we do is for you. So Father, we lay these things that we brought in here at your feet. Do not let the enemy have any reign in this place. Would you protect us? Would you guard our hearts and our minds against the distraction that wants to take us out? Let us receive your goodness today. Let us receive your gifts. Let us receive your word. It's in the name of Jesus that I pray. Amen. Be exalted now in the heavens as your glory fills this place. You alone deserve our praise. You're the name above all names. Be exalted now in the heavens as your glory fills this place. You alone deserve our praise. You're the name. Be exalted now in the heavens as your glory fills this place. You alone deserve our praise. You're the name above all names. Be exalted now in the heavens as your glory fills this place. You alone deserve our praise. You're the name.

Be exalted now in the heavens as your glory fills this place. You alone deserve our praise. You're the name above all names. You're the name above all names. You're worthy of our praise. Yes, you are. Worthy is your name. Jesus. You deserve the praise. Worthy is your name. Worthy is your name. Jesus. You deserve the praise. Worthy is your name. Jesus. ♪ Jesus, you deserve the praise ♪ ♪ Worthy is your name, worthy is your name ♪ ♪ Jesus, you deserve the praise ♪ ♪ Worthy is your name, worthy is your name ♪ ♪ Jesus, you deserve the praise ♪ ♪ Worthy is your name, worthy is your name ♪ ♪ Jesus, you deserve the praise ♪ ♪ Worthy is your name, be exalted now in heaven above ♪ ♪ Be exalted now as your glory fills, as your glory fills ♪ ♪ Be exalted, come on lift it up. As our glory fills ♪ ♪ Be exalted, you alone, you're the name above all. Be exalted, be exalted now in heaven above ♪ ♪ You're the name above all. Be exalted, be exalted now in heaven. As your glory fills, you alone, you're the name above all. ♪ ♪ Be exalted now in the heavens, as your glory fills this place ♪ ♪ You alone, you alone, you're the name above all, be exalted. Be exalted right there, now in the heavens ♪ You're the name above all. No one else deserves the same. Be exalted now in the heavens, as your glory fills this place, you alone deserve our praise. You're the name above all, renee. Be exalted now in the heavens as your glory fills this place, you alone deserve our praise. neighbor

You alone deserve our praise. You're the name above all. Death could not hold you. The veil tore before you. You silenced the bow of sin and grave. Heavens are roaring the praise of your glory. For you are raised to life. You have no rival. You have no rival. You have no equal. Now and forever, now and forever, God, you reign. Yours is the kingdom. Yours is the glory. Yours is the name above all names. What a powerful name it is. What a powerful name it is. The name of Jesus Christ our King. What a powerful name it is. Nothing compares to this. What a powerful name it is. The name, what a powerful name it is. What a powerful name it is. The name of Jesus. What a powerful name it is. The name of Jesus. Powerful name it is. Hallelujah. Grab your Bibles, open them up with me to Song of Solomon chapter 4. Song of Solomon chapter 4. We want to lift up high the name of Jesus today in all that we do and all that we say. What an incredible morning of worship. We just got to experience Song of Solomon chapter 4. A number of years ago I was at a conference and I won an Amazon Alexa Echo Dot. You ever heard of those things? I think they're not even available anymore. make them anymore, they're so old, but it was one of those things where it was pretty exciting that I got to win this thing because before it was normal like it is today to basically have some sort of device in most every room that you have that will talk back to you and have some sort of interaction with you, Alexa or Siri or whatever it may be. It was very, very abnormal at the time and so I was excited, we were excited about getting one of these. We'd heard about them, but we never really had the chance to interact with them and so we were kind of early adopters, if you will, winning this was a chance to kind of check it out before everybody knew what it was and so we were so excited about this Alexa device that you could talk to that we decided to actually put this little bitty, looks like a hockey puck, in our kitchen and we left it there in our kitchen as a way to interact with it. Hilary and I thought maybe we could use this to maybe just check out what the weather is, we could figure out a way to maybe update our grocery list or whatever it may be by just talking to it and our kids, as a result, they were young at the time, our kids being in the home, being able to be there around this Alexa that was in the kitchen, also realized this thing's pretty cool. You can talk to it and it talks back to you with actual intelligent responses and so therefore they began to ask us stuff like, hey, what's the joke of the day?

Or what is the weather today? Or they would say, you know, play this particular song and then they would play a song. They used to do games with it, it was a lot of fun. But then as they, as they continued along with this thing in our home, they realized it does way more than just do the joke of the day and the weather. It actually can do homework. And so they started asking it fairly normal questions about math homework, you know, this is my equation, what is it just to test their answers type deal, all right? And so they're doing all of that and then one particular morning, though, I very vividly remember this, again, my kids were — it was one of my girls, I don't know which one, but I was in the bathroom, I was getting ready for the day and my wife was in the kitchen with all of the kids and one of my daughters was working on an English assignment and so she decided to do what she's been doing before. She asked Alexa some questions about her assignments. And she asked the normal questions, OK, so what is the plot of the story? This is what I think is going to be the adverb in this situation. Just the normal kind of questions that go along with an English assignment and then she asked this very specific question, what is climax? And Alexa started answering different than the English assignment that she was asking. And I'm in the other room, I'm getting ready and all of a sudden I hear Hillary yelling, Alexa stop, Alexa stop, Alexa stop! And then I hear her feet pounding into the bathroom and she grabs that Alexa, she rips it out of the wall, she runs into our bathroom and she's never like this, she slams this thing down, this thing's not teaching our kids about sex, I'm throwing it away. It may not be Amazon Alexa, but somebody's teaching you about sex. Somebody's teaching your kids about sex. Somebody's teaching your teenagers about sex. Somebody's teaching you about sex. And here's what's crazy, you don't even have to ask them to, they're just doing it naturally. Computers exist to teach you about sex.

The internet is designed to teach you whatever you want, whenever you want, about sex. The culture and media is designed to teach you about sex. Your friends teach you about sex. Your parents or your family of origin teaches you about sex. The church teaches you about sex. Maybe what they taught you was, don't do it and don't talk about it. What I want to invite you to do today is to allow God to teach you about sex. Because here's what I want you to say, see, He has a lot to say about it. Like He invented it, He created it, and He sees it and thinks that it is a good gift that He wants to give to His people, and He wrote a lot about dating and relationships and marriage and a whole chapter all about sex, and He didn't take it out, He kept it in. Because He wanted us to come to the table of a topic that's got all kinds of baggage attached to it, and instead to open up our hearts and see what does God say in His Word about this gift. Let me set the scene for you in Song of Solomon chapter 4, we've been three chapters so far that's been all about the pursuit, it's been about attraction, it's been about dating, a couple of weeks. We talked about the wedding ceremony and we learned that a wedding, a marriage is a man and a woman in a covenant relationship before God. And what we see is that they don't even give us a description about the reception after the wedding. It just skips straight to the honeymoon. It just skips straight to the wedding night, all right? And so what God allows us to do is to be able to see what takes place and He does it in explicit detail to give us an idea of what He says this gift that He created is actually meant to be done and how it is supposed to happen. Here's the main thing I want you to take away from this message today, which is this. God is pro-sex. God is pro-sex.

Like we have to start with that because if we don't, then we're going to begin to question whether He knows what He's talking about. And if we start with the fact that God is the one who created it and He is all about it, then it allows us to admire the gift that we see presented in Song of Solomon chapter 4. Let's begin reading in verse 1. It says, behold you are beautiful my love, behold you are beautiful, your eyes are doves behind your veil. Before anything else, notice what He calls her, not my bride, not my wife, my love. In the Hebrew, it's the word raya, meaning companion or friend. Before He gets physical in any way, He says, hey, you're my person. Like you're the one that I want to be with, you're my friend, you're my companion. Sex in this passage begins with relationship, not just desire and passion. He then starts with her eyes and He works His way down. Here's why this matters. Sex starts with the mind. And for the woman, sex begins with what she thinks and she feels, and in many ways, she thinks and she feels the way that a man has led her to think and to feel. Look at the end of verse 1. Your hair is like a flock of goats leaping down the slopes of Gilead. He is releasing her hair, He's undoing her veil. Her hair is flowing down, it's an image of Him caressing her face as her hair falls to her shoulders. Guys, let me give you some advice, OK, it is not a good thing in 2026 to go up to your girl and tell her that she looks like a flock of goats, OK? The image breaks down a little bit in the modern day stuff. What I want you to see, though, is that He's, He's noticing the details. Like He, He sees her hair begin to cascade and, and hit her shoulders and He loves it. He's overwhelmed by it. And here's the cool thing, He tells her, He tells her what He sees.

Look at what it says in verse 2, your teeth are like a flock of shorn ewes that have come up from the washing, all of which bear twins and not one among them has lost its young. This means she did Invisalign or had braces when she was younger, that's what that means. Her teeth are all there and they're straight, that's what it's saying. But here's what Solomon notices, her smile. He sees that smile and He's just, He's pursuing her in every way. Verse 3, your lips are like a scarlet thread and your mouth is lovely. Your cheeks are like halves of a pomegranate behind your veil. He is moving in for the kiss, but not yet. Her lips are red and beautifully shaped. Her cheeks, she is blushing, beginning to show signs of desire. She is turned on and it's totally OK. It's totally normal. It's totally natural. The pomegranate was considered an aphrodisiac in the ancient world, appealing to both sight and to taste. What's happening is that she is responding to being seen. Verse 4, your neck is like the tower of David, built in rows of stone. On it hang a thousand shields, all of them shields of warriors. He's at her neck, probably undoing a necklace. Her necklace may have actually looked like the stone of David's tower, which is likely where this image comes from, but here's what the image means. David's tower was built for war, but it also would have a flag that would be raised showing it as times of peace, meaning it was kind of upright. So what he's saying is this, is that she's standing tall. She's confident. She's elegant. She's not timid. Why? Because she's safe.

She's letting her guard down with this man. Why? Because he's earned it. I want to stop right here and name something that's true in most marriages. Men give romance to get sex and women give sex to get romance. It's a cliche because it's most likely and most of the time is true. And what Solomon is doing by spending all of these first few verses on her face and her hair and her neck and her necklace before he ever touches her body is reversing the typical pattern that most people do. He instead is leading with romance. He's doing it right. Verse 5, your two breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle that graze. among the lilies, he is now beginning to undress her. And the image that he uses tells you everything you need to know about his approach. If you are hunting and you are coming up on a deer and specifically a fawn, you know that you've got to be so careful because they're animals that can very easily get spooked. So therefore, if you were to come up to them, you've got to be very, very quiet and you've got to be very, very slow and you've got to be very, very methodical with your actions and with your movements because then if you don't, then what's going to happen is they're going to run off. But yet, so often what we typically see is that people come up to the two breasts and they're like, guy! I'm here! That's not what he's describing. He's moving down her body slowly. He knows that this is a vulnerable moment. He knows that she is more exposed than she's ever been. So what is his approach? Slow, gentle, and careful. Verse 6, until the day breathes and the shadows flee, I will go away to the mountain of myrrh

and the hill of frankincense. Let me tell you what that means. All night long, all night. That's what it means in the Hebrew right there, all right? They're not in a hurry. See here's what culture tells you. Give what you want and get out. Here's what God says. He instead presents a man who is present, who is lingering, who is giving all of himself to her as long as she wants. Verse 7, you are altogether beautiful, my love. There's no flaw in you. This is a crazy verse if you think about it, because if you go back to the first week we talked about it in Song of Solomon chapter 1 verse 6, she actually says, hey, don't look at me. Don't look at me. I'm not being put together. I'm not being able to take care of myself. I've been having to work too much, and so therefore she feels shame over the way that she looks. She feels insecure over who she is. Now what we find is a woman who's now finding herself being undressed, but she feels safety. She feels security. And the man looks at her and he says, there is no flaw in you. Is that true? Of course it's not true. All of us have flaws. Yeah, but what this man is saying is not to me. Not to me you don't. What he's essentially showing is that if you train your mind to only see beauty in

one person, then guess what? That person is beautiful and there's nothing wrong with them. They're the best. And so what we see is that Solomon has all of his attention and all of his focus. Every definition and word that he could possibly use for beauty and desire is found in one phrase, her. That's who he's pursuing. And I want you to see, it's so important to me, let me, let me, let me speak to this really quickly. Because the more exposure you have to other people's bodies, the more material you're going to have to compare to your spouse's body. And where there's comparison, there's going to be perceived flaw. Where there's perceived flaw, there's going to be lack of affirmation. Where there's lack of affirmation, there's going to be insecurity in your spouse. Meaning this, make choices right now that protect your future spouse or your current spouse from ever having to compete with your adoration. Meaning no pornography, meaning no fantasy novels, meaning no watching crap on TV or movies that put somebody else's body out there for you to compare to your spouse's. But instead, live in such a way where you begin to protect and live in such a way where you begin to define all beauty based upon the person that God has given to you. So that the goal can be, at the end of verse 7, there is no flaw in you. It's only possible when you guard your eyes and you train your heart to find every definition of beauty in one person. Verse 8, come with me from Lebanon, my bride, come with me from Lebanon. You've captivated my heart, my sister, my bride. You've captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace. How beautiful is your love, my sister, my bride. How much better is your love than wine and the fragrance of your oils than any spice. They haven't even had intercourse yet, and he's already saying that just a glance of your eyes.

of her eyes drives him completely out of his mind. How beautiful is your love, my sister, my bride. How much better is your love than wine and the fragrance of your oils than any spice. They haven't even had intercourse yet, and he's already saying that just a glance of your eyes. This is an incredible amount of pleasure flowing out of this passage that shows the emotional connection and the spiritual connection. That's where the world messes it up. They view sex as a physical transaction. And they miss that the way God designed it was for you to have a physical thing that also is joined with an emotional thing, which is also joined with a spiritual thing, and it is pleasure upon pleasure. God is not holding out on you, but he wants you instead to enjoy the gift the way that it was designed. And please hear me, don't settle for cheap imitations. Verse 11, your lips drink nectar, my bride. Honey and milk are under your tongue. The fragrance of your garments is like the fragrance of Lebanon. What you see is that now, in verse 11, they are kissing. Before France existed, God invented French kissing. You're welcome, France. Don't miss, though, he spent 10 verses verbally affirming her,

10 verses being emotionally attentive to her before he ever touched her. He got there, but he didn't rush it. Verse 12, a garden locked is my sister, my bride, a spring locked, a fountain sealed. What he's saying is she was a virgin. She had kept what is sacred, sacred. This isn't repression, this is reservation. There's only one person who deserves to enter your garden, and it's the person willing to call you bride. If someone wants the benefits of the garden without making covenant, they're telling you that what they want is what marriage offers, but they don't want the commitment that marriage requires. You run away from that. Don't let anybody tell you, unless you do this, then you're not worthy. Lord, please hear me, you run away from that. That is not what God says. But you instead pursue the holiness and the purity that he tells you is not only best for you, but will be best for your future spouse. Verse 13, your shoots are an orchard of pomegranates with all its choices fruits, henna with nard, nard and saffron, calamus and cinnamon with all trees of frankincense, myrrh and alloys with all choice spices. A garden fountain, a well of living water

and flowing streams from Lebanon. Awake, oh North wind and come, oh South wind, blow upon my garden, let its spices flow. It shifts at the end of that verse 16 to her speaking, and she says, let my beloved come to his garden and eat its choices fruits. This is the most erotic verse in all of the Bible. For three chapters, she's been telling her friends, do not awaken love until it's time. And now Solomon has made a covenant with her. He's chosen her publicly. He's spoken to her every insecurity. He's taken all night with her. He's made her feel seen and safe and desired. And she speaks and she's not pressured. She's not performing. She's not doing this because he finally wore her down. Instead, she's inviting freely and fully from a position of complete security. This right here is the design. This is what God created. And this is what God wants. Chapter five, verse one. He responds, I came to my garden, my sister, my bride. I gathered my myrrh with my spice. I ate my honeycomb with my honey. I drank my wine with my milk. What he's essentially saying is this. It was awesome. It was awesome.

You notice in my Bible, what it shows is that I see it says others. At the top, it's showing a change in speaker. At the end of chapter verse one in chapter five, it says, eat friends, drink and be drunk with love. Who's speaking? The most natural reading is that this is God who is speaking. It's the only time in the book of Song of Solomon that he speaks out loud directly. And what he's saying is not everything is allowed and I guess it is okay. He says, eat, drink and be drunk with love. He's saying this isn't just reluctant permission. This is enthusiastic divine celebration. We just saying for from you are all things and to you all are things. To you deserve the glory. That includes your sex life. What it's saying is that not only can God see what it is that you're doing, but when you do it the way that he designed and gifted you with the gift to use, then guess what? He celebrates it. Like he is for it in every single way. He says, enjoy it the way that it was meant to be. Here's what I want you to walk away with today. I got a couple of points of application. Three points of application.

Three things about the gift of sex. Number one, enjoy. Take the gift. Enjoy the gift. I don't know how long we've been going so far, we've spent a number of time though looking at the real thing. And I want that picture to stay with you. Whenever they train FBI agents on how to pick up counterfeit money, they don't teach them about looking, by looking at counterfeit money. They teach them to become experts at the real thing. So that they know what it looks like, they know what it feels like, they know by just the touch of it, whether it's real or not, why? Because they know so much of what's real, they can immediately spot something that's counterfeit. Our culture though, when it comes to sex, tells you try all of the counterfeits to see if any of those work, and eventually what you're going to realize is that God's way is the only way. So my plea to you today is this. Take a vision of the real thing, and never settle for anything less. And the way that you do that is through married people. Married couples. It's very direct. God made sex, and He made it for you. Not to be endured, not to be rationed, to be enjoyed. This means guys initiate sex with your wife. This means wives initiate sex with your husband. You should both be actively pursuing each other. Some of you guys are like, this is the best church I've ever been to in my entire life. 1 Corinthians chapter 7 verse 3 says this, the husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights and likewise the wife to her husband.

It's very, very clear what it's saying. Skip to verse 5, it says, do not deprive one another except perhaps by agreement for a limited time that you may devote yourselves to prayer, but then come together again so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. The word desire there is an interesting word, it's a strong word. The word holding isn't neutral in God's design. He's saying don't do it unless you've got a good reason. But instead, pursue each other in the marriage bed, meaning this, one of God's strategies to protect your marriage is a lot of good, godly, married sex. Make sure that your spouse is so satisfied at home that looking somewhere else never even crosses their mind. Allow them to eat off the menu that you have so often they have no desire to go to a different menu. How do you do that? That means you've got to communicate. You've got to talk to each other about what makes you feel seen and safe and desired. Not a complaint session, but a tending session. Dave Harvey is a leader in our church, he leads a life group, he has been a long-time member as well as a deacon, and he tells the story about his dad. His dad would routinely come home from work and he had a signal that he would give to his wife, Dave's mom, in order to basically say that, hey, I want tonight to be a good night, all right? And so, his signal was that he would come home and he would get some Hershey Kisses and he would put a Hershey Kiss on his wife's pillow. And so, that was the signal that it was going to be go time later that evening. And so, Dave is hearing this and he's like, this is a little bit weird because I'm kind of hearing about my parents, whatever else, and he said, and then it kind of hit me, I also have vivid memories growing up of Hershey Kisses. Oh gosh. He said, I cannot tell you how many times I was playing in the house and I walked by

my parents' bedroom and I saw a Hershey Kiss on my mom's pillow. And I slipped in there and I grabbed it and I sniped it, thinking that I just scored a free piece of candy. He goes, now I realize, my dad, after a long day at work and everything else, goes in, turns the lights off, thinking it's go time, his mom's dead asleep, why? Because she didn't get the signal. Which just proves, sex lives are ruined by children, right? Here's my advice. If you're given a signal, let's make sure that the signal actually connects, OK? The reality is this, there should be things happening in your bedroom that if your kids ever walked in on you, they'd be scarred for life, OK? It's a gift. It's a gift that's to be enjoyed. It's a gift that should be pursued. The second thing I want you to see today that's so important, protect the gift. Protect the gift. I want you to think about sex like it's a fire. Whenever you have a fire, there's a couple of different things that you can do with it. I want you to picture a fireplace. I'm not talking about one you just kind of push a button and things turn on. I'm talking about one where you got to put logs in there and you got to get it ready and then ultimately what you got to do is you got to light a match. And you light that match, you can throw it in that fireplace, you know what it's going to do. It's going to light up. And it's going to fill that fireplace with a beautiful picture. It's going to fill that fireplace with beautiful warmth. It's going to be a very incredible thing that's designed to do some great things. But if you were to take that same exact match and get that spark and you just throw it in the middle of your living room, let's say you got a rug and you're on the floor, you

can have some major damage going on. And what changed wasn't the action. What changed was the location. The location matters. You can't just decide you get to make all the rules with God's thing that he gave to you. He gave this to you as a gift, but he wants you to enjoy it in the confines of the protection that he built around it so that it can be fully enjoyed in every way. And when you take that outside of it, here's what happens. Not only can it cause great damage to you, it can cause great damage to the other person, and it can cause great damage to everybody around you. You throw a fire in the middle of a living room, you got a big problem. You put a fire in a fireplace, it's the most beautiful thing ever. Folks, what I want to encourage you to do as married couples, no casual sex, no sex outside of your relationship. Do everything you got to do to start guarding your eyes so that you never even have anything to compare it to other than your spouse. Get out of that pornography and get out of those fantasy novels. Those things are not designed to help you in your sex life. Are you kidding me? That's not how God designed it. Instead, you find your satisfaction in one pursuit of one person. What does this look like if you're not married? This means that you need to guard yourself in such a way where you can give the gift and enjoy it in the confines with which God has designed it to be. Meaning this, don't sit there and say, well how close can I get to the line without passing it? Please hear me, you're gonna pass it. Instead say, how can I pursue the holiness that God gives me because I want to protect the good gift that God's given me?

Please hear me, if you find somebody else, this is why it's so important that you're finding, you're running hard after the Lord and you're looking and finding somebody else hard after the Lord because what's gonna happen is, is if you're running hard after the Lord and all of a sudden somebody else is not, you're gonna have two different ideas about this specific topic. And what always happens is when people cross lines sexually, they end up finding themselves emotionally attached in ways that the relationship was never, ever able to bear. So what I'm advising and I'm pleading with you to do is to protect the gift. Here's a prayer that I want to encourage you to pray. If you're married, pray this prayer, God give me eyes to see beauty in my spouse alone. Maybe for some of you, you've already screwed this up. You've looked at stuff, you've gone outside the marriage, whatever it may be, pray this prayer right now. From this point forward, I want to ask that you give me eyes to see beauty in my spouse alone. If you're single, pray this prayer, God give me eyes to protect my future spouse from having to compete for my adoration. God give me eyes to protect my future spouse from having to compete for my adoration. Here's the third thing I want to mention to you. Enjoy the gift, protect the gift, but number three, redeem the gift. Redeem the gift. I know who I'm talking to. I'm talking to a room full of people who this particular topic most likely brings a level of guilt or a level of shame because you didn't protect it. Maybe you made choices along the way that you highly regret. Maybe you find yourself at a place where you were abused and somebody took something from you before you ever even had the opportunity to give it to somebody else. Some of you willingly gave it away, thinking it was a means to joy only to realize it's led to heartache, confusion, despair. Some of you are in the throes of pornography, and you're not going to call it addicted.

That's exactly what you are. Some of you have made decisions in the past, and because of that you're walking into your marriage and it's just a mess, and you don't feel like you have any idea how to untangle the knot that has been created. I think to all of you I would say this. Romans chapter 8, verse 1. and says this, there is therefore now no, no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. God can redeem you. God can restore you. The book of Joel says that God can restore the years the locusts have eaten. It doesn't mean there's not gonna be consequences. It doesn't mean there's not gonna be things that you're gonna have to work through, but what it does mean is this, is that that doesn't have to be what defines you. You see, the culture says this, who you sleep with is who you are. God says who you sleep with is one of a thousand things that I get say over and I get grace over. So today, if you're here and you have found yourself not doing what we just described, can I just ask that today be a day of confession and forgiveness and restoration. Cody, when he just baptized upstairs at the very end, he said this phrase, buried with Christ in baptism and raised to walk in a new life. God can give you a new life today. Now, some of you may be thinking, yeah, but not me.

You don't know what I've done. You don't know the mistakes that I've made. You don't know the thoughts that are in my head. I guess I would just invite you to hear about a story of a guy who had a dad and he went to his dad and he's like, dad, I don't really wanna live here anymore. I don't like your rules. In fact, I just wish that you were dead. Can I just have all the inheritance that I'm gonna get and I'm gonna go do my own thing. His dad was like, okay, I'll let you do it. Story goes that this guy, he goes and he runs off and he begins to make the choices that he wants to make, do it whenever he wants to do it with whoever he wants to do it with. And it says that he came to the end of himself because it didn't work out. Newsflash, it never does. And he thought to himself, you know, I guess my only option is to maybe go back and see if my dad will let me back home. And so as he heads back, most likely what he was thinking through was what his apology speech was gonna be, what his plea was gonna look like to see if his dad would let him in. But here's what the Bible tells us is that this dad, every single day woke up and thought today could be the day my boy comes home. Today could be the day my boy comes home.

So much so that he was sitting on the porch and he looked out and he just simply saw the sight of his son way in the distance. And it says that he ran to go meet his son. And he goes and he embraces him. And before he even had the opportunity to give his apology speech, he tells him, go kill the fattened calf. We're throwing a party. My son who is dead is now alive. He's back home. And he welcomed him with open arms. I don't know your sexual past, but I do know this. It does not have to be your sexual identity and your identity in all things in life. God is a God of redemption. And all he wants for you to do today is to see the beauty of what he created and just turn around, head his direction and he will come running to meet you. Would you do that today? Would you bow your heads and close your eyes with me all across this room? We're about to move into a time we call here at United City, a time of invitation, a response. What I'm gonna ask you to do is to please stay with me through the end of the service. Don't be leaving for any reason. It's the most important moment of our service, right here. Most important question isn't what your sexual identity is,

what your past is. The only question that matters is, are you a child of God? Do you know him? Does he know you? Bible says that all of us are sinners. All of us have fallen short, got standard. All of us have messed it up. But God sent his one and only son, Jesus, to die a death. on a cross, He rose from the dead and He now invites you to not become defined by who you sleep with, or who you like, or what you do in the bedroom, but as His son or His daughter. If you've never received the gift that Jesus so freely gives and offers to you, today could be the day. You don't have to have it all figured out. You don't have to know what it's all going to look like. All you got to do is turn from the way you've been going and turn towards Him, and He will come running. He wants to meet you today. So in just a moment, if that's you, would you just come forward? Our team's going to be in front. They're going to be at the bottom of the steps. That's going to be your cue. Just step out from where you are and just say, I want to come home. Let us walk you through what that looks like. Others of you need to come and join United City Church. We want to preach the whole counsel of God. We want to make sure we speak what the Bible speaks. Today, you want to be a part of a church like that, would you lead the way? Maybe others need to be baptized to give your public next step. Would you come and let us talk to you about that? If you've got questions, let us talk with you about those questions. And some of you need prayer today. Prayer for your marriage, prayer for your own heart, prayer for your soul. We don't want you to feel guilt, shame. We want you to feel freedom, hope. Come and let us pray for you. Maybe you have a need today, something that's pressing and weighing on your heart. Would you come and let us pray with you? Father, in Jesus' name, I pray that you'd move in these final moments. Thank you. Every service, you brought hope, you brought healing, you brought salvation. And we ask, Father, in these final moments that you would do it yet again. It's in the powerful name of Jesus that I pray. Amen.