From Hell to Healing: A Gang Member’s Story with Tyler Frazier | Aggressive Life

All I did, Pastor, was read the Bible. Brian, by the way. Brian, okay. No, no, no, no. I don't call you Steel Magnet Man, Iron Man, maybe we'll call you Iron Man, Iron Man. I am Iron Man. Come on, let's go. That should have been a good jingle for your club. Was that the jingle? No. No? Gosh, I could add some real value here, Dirt. Get our creativity, we'll take the Iron Maidens, the next Iron Horsemen to the next level. Welcome to the aggressive life. I love when new things are happening, and today, a new thing is happening, a new kind of guy from a new kind of background that I think is going to be pretty exhilarating. His name is Tyler Frazier. He was an enforcer with the Iron Horsemen. Not to be confused with Iron Maiden, not to be confused with the Iron Lady, not to be confused. No, no, the Iron Horseman that is a pretty well-known and gnarly, hardcore motorcycle gang organization, institution, all of the above. I like talking to people of different backgrounds, and I kind of like motorcycles, so I thought we would talk with him. He met a woman who he loves dearly. He's had a child and made it clear it was his time to exit the club, but doing so was not easy, and it was an aggressive move which had some, I got to think, some really painful or dire consequences. At every turn, his life got more and more and more difficult. When God wants to do something in your life, or when you want to do something in your life,

guess what? It's not all rainbows and puppy dogs and four-leaf clovers. It's hard and it's difficult, but it's worth it, and I think his story is going to show that to him, show that to us. He met Jesus in a very profound way, and I'm not going to tell you anything more about what happened to him. We're going to have him tell us what happened to him. Welcome to the Aggressive Life, Tyler Frazier! Let's go. All right. Thanks for having me. Yeah, man. Appreciate it. Thanks for coming. It's really, really good. So the Iron Horseman, what is that? Who is that? What are they? How long has it existed? Yada, yada, yada. So the Iron Horseman is a 1% motorcycle club. The federal government considers them a gang. What does it mean, a 1% motorcycle club? Outlaw. They kind of unilaterally agree that we are not going to follow the rules. Yeah, so they kind of started in Cincinnati in the 60s and have spread all across the United States and even some other countries now. Wow. So they start in the 60s and like I've had riding clubs I've been with or you ride together, but this is different.

This is what people don't have jobs. They just do this or they have jobs, but this is really their life or how does that work? I think it's a mix of both. There are some people who have jobs, it'll be very difficult for you to have a job. There are others that kind of find means and methods to make money, but you're on the road quite a bit. You're meant to be on your motorcycle and traveling in a sort. So it's difficult to carry a normal nine to five. Are you traveling just to travel or you actually have a place you have to be? Usually there is a place that you're heading to intentionally. What kind of place? Anybody who has kneecaps you need a break or what does that mean? Many different reasons. We may have a club, you know, get together in New York where we have rallies and races. How does the finances of the club work then if people aren't working and you're just riding place to place? I mean, you're obviously dealing in all kinds of illicit systems, substances, all that stuff. But how does the finances work? Like the club makes this much money and then everybody's on payroll or everyone gets a little piece of it or how does that work? No, so essentially there are dues that get paid. So each individual member has to pay dues and it kind of operates everyone as their own individual business with a top tier. It's in a way a pyramid scheme. Bring more people in to bring more money up to the top. So the more dues that we get. the more money that the club has to operate. And dues are happening from illicit activity. People are obviously drawn from their retirement accounts to pay dues.

How much are dues? To be honest with you, I cannot remember. It's different for each individual based on kind of what you're making, what you're bringing in. What do people, what attracts people to this sort of, I would call it a communal experience? I have to think that thirst for having someone know you and being a part of something, is it? Or what draws the average person to being part of a, I'll just say motorcycle gang, because Harley clubs call themselves a club, but you're not. You're a bunch of people who have money who get together and ride, which is great. But it's a gang. What draws people to take the first steps inside of a experience like that? I think it's brokenness. I would say some of the most incredible men I've met who really understand brotherhood are in that club. But in each case, you can spend time with a guy and find out somewhere down the line, there's some brokenness, a broken home, maybe a father who chose drugs rather than the son, extreme violence growing up. And for me, it was all of the above. I wasn't a has been in my mind, I was a never was. So I found a place where I could kind of express my anger and I'm rewarded for doing so.

And I like motorcycles. So yeah, I definitely think that most of it roots back to a childhood. Did you go in by yourself or was there somebody else in there that you knew? No, I went in by myself. So I started in another club called The Brotherhood and I'm selling drugs and getting in trouble by this club because they don't operate that way. And so I thought, if I'm going to get in trouble for being a biker, I'm gonna get out of this club and go join the Iron Horsemen. That's what I did. Interesting. So how do you set up a meeting? How do they vet you? How do you, well, you don't just go into the bar like Sons of Anarchy and just go in and say, hey, I want to be one of you or do you, I don't know. I mean, I definitely think that they're always recruiting. The Army's recruiting, so are the Iron Horsemen. Not a plug for the Iron Horsemen. But I am saying that I was noticed then. I would go to some of their parties and hang out and kind of just invited to be around anyway. And so it was kind of a seamless transition. It was almost maybe known that it was going to happen. And I was the last one who knew. Oh, you were the last one, because they were talking about it.

Because they want actually more people, because more dues, more economic viability, more muscle power, all that kind of stuff. Have you always had a violent past? Yeah, yeah, I have. It was bred into me as a kid. I learned that, you know, my father definitely helped me with that, helped shape my violent behavior. And definitely not shifting the blame to him, but it's how I learned that if you're different than me or whatever kind of the reason is, is it's really, I'm a scared little boy. And so if I can hurt you first, I can protect myself. So I don't know that I was even violent. I think I was just scared. You just had the classic, your dad beats you and that sort of thing. Yeah, maybe a little further, yeah. What's a little further? So as a kid, some of the behaviors that I kind of learned were, I can remember going into this 55-gallon drum full of water and a lid going on top of it, and I'm inside of it. And I would get pulled out, and I learned immediately that you don't cry. Because if I didn't cry when I come out, I had the opportunity to play with the other kids. I've got brothers and sisters.

If I was crying, I'd get built with the very first god that I ever met called the communicator. And the communicator is a handmade paddle labeled, inscribed the communicator in cursive. And I would get beat all over my body with that paddle. But that wasn't the end because I'm still crying. My dad would take and put me in these two United States canvas mailbags and tape the center up and lay me in the basement. Man, I learned you definitely don't cry. You just take the first beating. And as I got older, I learned that I need to beat you first. Probably the most traumatic thing of all that though, I would say is I would wake up the next morning, and this kind of began my distaste also. This is a different topic. My distaste. for Christianity I'd wake up the next morning dad would pull me out and say do you know why I do these things to you son and I'm like I have no idea and he'd say because the Bible says that if you spare the rod you spoil the child and he would slam his hand on the table and I will not raise a spoiled child and that song I can sing of your love he'd have that playing every Sunday morning oh my gosh yeah Wow and so then we'd go to church and he's raising his hands Jesus and hell is happening behind closed doors he's every man's man you know so that began kind of that that's kind of what spring-loaded me it just made sense that I ended up where I did did he was that just a an excuse that he made for doing that but do you think he actually believed he was having a spiritual discipline that was honoring God by doing that that's a good question 17 my dad took his life I got a lot of questions yeah I really don't know well

I don't think that he understood the fullness of what God had for him yeah and even what spoiling the rod means you know in the Bible where it talks about your rod and your staff comfort me and I look back at that verse and I think if if the rod is being spoiled discipline is good for me but what is good discipline look like and how does my father my heavenly father discipline me yeah and so it took this traumatic verse in the Bible and turned it into something absolutely beautiful for both me and my children I imagine them as little sheep and it's not always so gentle no you know right but I'm gonna guide them and I want it to be comforting I want my discipline for them to be a presence of peace yeah how old are your kids so I have three daughters all right 14 5 and 4 Wow okay it's amazing do you do you practice corporal punishment with them spanking I didn't guess you're wondering I did no no too dangerous for you like I can't you can't you can't dip your waters your toes back in that waters it's gonna be too dangerous for you yeah yeah and I think that I've been so blessed I mean my 14 year old she wants to be a missionary my five-year-old just adores Jesus she prays for me when daddy's being a jerk there's time she's you know the Lord sends her to come to me and just pray for me and it's so convicting and Dolly Jo is just like me she's the one of my God Lord help me please well let's talk about your your spiritual journey then did you come to understand who Jesus was in the iron in night with Iron Maiden Iron Maiden iron iron kettle I'm doing this just so everybody who's the Iron Horseman they grind grinding their teeth right now yeah iron deficiency I'm still in that club sign me up yeah did you did you start your migration to Christ while you were in in the gang no no what happened so you got out of the gang then yeah I got out but here's the thing you go to them and say I want out I'm done okay and here's why we had Eloise and Eloise got these little almond eyes and then Dolly Jo came and I knew these little girls deserve something that I don't have I just want to love them in a way that that they absolutely and I don't know what that means I don't even I don't know how to begin so like the world I started dealing with my problems by dealing with the symptoms and the club

was my symptom I go and I get out I call Rebecca it's finished call you what you're married at this point no we're not married yeah yeah it's finished and I'm coming home I get on a flight you know I already had tickets bought cuz I knew how it was gonna go if I made it I was gonna be able to take a flight and come back and what led you to want to say no don't want to say that I'm out it out of this it was those little girls so you had that what you those little girls your 14 year old who's 14 now or the other two little ones are what you said the little girls so the the two littlest ones Haley Sue is my 14 year old her mother's not with us anymore okay Eloise B and Dolly Jo are now five and in four and they're Irish to Irish twins I mean we were getting after it and Kovac and so nothing else to do yeah yeah they just required a measure of patience and love and grace that I didn't have and so they were the reason that I thought if I get out of this this is probably my problem so if I get out of this I can start being a dad and I'm telling you Brian In my own ability, I can't be the father they deserve. And that began the process of me saying, I'm going to take my life. I planned for two months. So we own a steel erection business. Not an iron erection business? Steel erection. An erection business you have, yes. I'm in the erection business. Our saying is, allow me to get a hold of your print. I'll give you an erection you won't forget. Oh, man. So now we've kind of switched. Since I've come to Christ, it's getting high for a higher purpose. We're building a massive school. We kind of talk about jobs in the way of tons,

and so this was a 700-ton school. It was probably the size of eight or nine of these buildings. And the project managers that I had at the time could not operate my business if I stepped away. But we were coming to the end of that job in about two months. And so I began. I told the people that worked for me that I was sick and that something could happen, and I wanted to sign the business over to them. You owned and were operating this business while you were an iron horseman? Yeah. Okay, wow. So kind of behind the scenes, I'm planning on taking my life, and I'm planning to sign the business over to my project managers to make sure that Rebecca's taken care of, she'll always have a check coming in. And in these two months, I did the dumbest thing that you could ever do. I lay in my shower and weep, and I'd say, God, if you're real, am I supposed to do this? I didn't want anything to do with God. I know what Christianity brings. My father was Christianity to me. You know, every man that I've ever seen, boy, if you don't change your ways, you're going to burn in hell. I didn't want nothing to do with that. I was already in hell. These beautiful little gifts that I have in front of me, I don't have the ability to love.

How much worse does it get than that? And he started answering me. Call Craig. Well, I'm definitely not calling that guy. Craig is a guy that I know that owns Mother's Tattoo Shop. He also happens to be a pastor at an awesome little church in Erlanger, Kentucky. He gave me my tattoo on my shoulder. And I'm like, I'm not calling that guy. I don't want anything to do with Christians. It's just the way that God is. He's selfish. It's all about him. I ignore it. And for two months, I do that same prayer, and I'm getting the same answer. I don't even realize that the creator of the universe is answering me. I'm so consumed with myself and listening to what Satan has for me that it doesn't make sense. It's two days before I'm going to take my life, and I decide I'm going to take my children to the Children's Museum, spend one last day with them. They won't see me after this. Monday, we'll be finalizing the paperwork with my attorney. Rebecca doesn't know any of this. Nobody does, just me. Tuesday, I'm going to take my life. Sunday, we're at the Children's Museum, and it's going as you could expect. I mean, I'm just hopeless.

Dolly just cut her finger. She's in the restroom with Rebecca getting Band-Aid. And I tell you what, man. Craig, it's Sunday. He should be at church, but instead he walked right up to me. And these are his words. I don't remember what I look like, but he said, Dude, you turned white as a ghost. And I believe him because I couldn't believe how selfish God was. You're even going to send this guy in front of me? Yeah, wow. I woke up the next morning, and I said that same prayer, and it wasn't sweet, gentle, call Craig. It was, there's a meme where Batman is slapping Robin, and I got a slap on one cheek. I've told you to call him for two months, and then a slap on the other one. And I placed him in front of you, and because your little mind can't understand the creator of everything, it's the wrong answer. I'm going to remind you, call Craig. And I'm like, oh, I don't want to call this guy. And so I did. I started calling his shop, couldn't get an answer. They point me to the church. I start calling there, couldn't get an answer. And about 15 minutes went by. I called back. Hey, man, I'm not interested in how this guy's doing. I need to talk to him now.

And he texted me, and that kind of began the process of me being even here in front of you. Oh, wow. That was how long? That was after you left the club? Yeah. It was three years ago. Oh, just three years. Yeah. All right. What were some of the, well, the biblical word for this is sanctity. Sanctification, sanctification is a process by which we become like God. Some people think that the way we become like God is find what demons are in us and cast those out. I'm all for finding demons and cast them out, but no, sorry, nothing sexy like that. No hidden knowledge on how to do that. It's just day-to-day grunt work of conforming yourself to the image of Christ. So what were some of the tension points for you that's been making that journey hard and or sweet? Yeah, a lot of dying. John the Baptist, I have to decrease so he can increase. That's what it is. That demon behind every corner can become an idol. But man, the first one is I come to Christ and Rebecca and I are not married. So what do we do? I started sleeping on the couch. And when I did come to Christ and I come and told her,

she left me anyway. Well, luckily she works for me, so she didn't have anywhere to go. So I've got this monument of a couch. I will never get rid of it. It's in our basement now. But man, there's a banana shape in it from my commitment to God. Wow. So she had to be a bit of a bad girl. She had to be attracted to someone like you who was in. It's broken, man, brokenness. Yeah, right. I don't even think there's, there are bad people, but it's mostly brokenness, man. Such a sweet girl. Had no business. I chased this woman for three years and she said no. And finally, she's like, okay, I guess. But just a sweet woman. So I told her that I'm coming. I said yes to Christ. She said, good, Tyler, I'm leaving you. Why? Because she was tired of my commitments of like, I'm gonna do this thing and become a better man. One of them so bizarre, I started smoking about $700 a week and Padron and Liga Pravada cigars. I don't know how I thought

that that would make me a nicer man, but I needed a hobby. Do need a hobby. She's like, me and the girls aren't gonna be on the back burner anymore. And she knew Christianity too. What the world thinks of it. And so in ways that we presented is, we're not gonna be on the back burner while you become better than us and then use it to cut us down. So immediately I'm faced with like, I'm not married, okay. I shifted to the couch. She doesn't have anywhere to go. But then what do I do about pornography, masturbation? Man, that was a thing. I started leaving my phone outside the bathroom and I would take only the word of God into the restroom with me because that's kind of where things took place. And I got on my knees and I begged the Lord, Lord, I know that you're calling me to something greater here. And I don't know how to fight this thing. I need your help. I'm asking you to turn this restroom into a sanctuary, make my body a temple, blameless, spotless, but Lord, I need your help. And he just moved. He moved, man. He gave me power over something

that I didn't think I'd have the ability to. Right. Yeah. So that's a good one. What other tension points? Like I'm wondering the life of violence. How did you shed that? I don't know. But you did shed it. Yeah. I think that that was one of those beautiful gifts from the Lord that he just dealt with. Pastor, I'll be honest with you. I don't know how he dealt with it. The idea and the thought of smacking the daylights out of people is always still there. I'm told to take every thought captive, to make it obey the mind of Christ. And that means every thought, the good ones, the bad ones, to learn to discern good from evil. So I'm taking every thought captive. And the idea of wanting to smack people become less. And the idea of wanting to- You want to smack dirt right now? No. I know, I love him. You want to smack me? No.

No? All right, okay, okay. We're all right now. We're safe. We're safe. All right, good. Sometimes with the business, there, okay, there's a spot where I'm being sanctified constantly. The business is, there's so much evil in it. And every day, I have to remind myself that the business isn't separate. It's not like God's meant to be used in your personal life. You're still in iron right now. Yeah. Yeah. But God has the ability to operate in your business as a ministry. And he sanctified opening my mouth there about his kingdom. And man, it's been incredible. Wow. But as far as the anger, I think it's just been a gift. You know, the violence. He's removed. That's really cool. Because there are some things that God can just take away.

Like, God can just take away. an addiction and I know a couple people who had that happen but for most people it's a long arduous fight process to get a hold of that but for you you're saying the anger and violence was something that that just went away when you gave your life to Christ yeah that's cool that's very cool yeah there's been another one I'll be I'm just gonna be super vulnerable with you in that club racism is real and promoted so you can imagine that I had some of those boils when I come to Christ man he dealt with that it's such an amazing way one specifically this target right here by Crossroads Oakley I'm getting ready to go to church and there's this young black dude sitting outside with a blanket on and it's 90 degrees outside and I hear the Holy Spirit like shifting me I want you to go talk to this guy and I no longer care about color anymore people are children of God at this point but I'm like I don't have time for that I'm too busy Lord I appreciate it I go inside and my wife said I don't even know what she told me to get anymore all I can think about is him and I go out and sit with this guy and I talk with him for probably two hours I miss church and at the end of it man when I first sat down with him his head was hanging low and he could just tell the world had been hard on him and he lifts his head up and he looks at me and he asked me the most human question what do you like to do for fun and it broke me man I just thought thank you Lord that you could make this broken man on up just put him on a level playing field his life hasn't changed but you've changed something inside of him yeah that's good how long ago was it that you left the club and the racist the racist propensities you had how long ago as soon as I said yes to Christ he did several things like the violence and the racism those things I don't know why I'm not here to tell you that I'm an incredible guy and look at all of the things I've achieved yeah by no means he removed those things immediately inside of me yeah like you don't need these where you're going right what's that what's the thing that's been most stubborn in your sanctification process hmm I mean you said porn but something got a good handle on that but is that maybe that's

still gnawing at you then you you know still fight but what what's one of the things that's taken longer than you thought would not understanding how to help people turn the light switch on like to not be overbearing and to get them to know Christ because I just care about your soul right sometimes I can push a little too hard and maybe I'm not so seasoned with grace in those moments right I would say looking like well cussing okay yeah there we are at work I get around with the guys and some s-words and you know all of the all of that stuff I I don't think I'm you know gonna burn in hell for it but by you know I certainly would like that area to be cleaned up in my life and man I'm begging and waiting on the Lord not maybe not as far as sanctification but your sermon I was weeping what sermon you're this past Sunday on the desert I'm an Eastgate and when the words left your mouth my wife is a badass I was just absolutely crushed because I am in a desert to be honest with you I'm in a desert season right now yeah I'm working 80 or 90 hours a week I'm listening to your five marks of a man on the way in chapter 15 where you're talking about your children and how we misunderstood the idea of play and I'm just wrecked because I'm like Lord I just want more time Lord I'm begging you do something in my business or I can be a little bit more hands-off and enjoy that that moment of play that to where I don't have to be drug to the trampoline yeah right well that's that's really cool Tyler because it sounds like your problems or challenge areas aren't ex-gang member they are normal dude really those guys don't have don't know what they do for fun most guys feel overstressed and taxed at an area of their life they can't give over here most guys feel like they're impotent and doing what they need to be at home so that's that's really neat that you're on the normal guy problem instead of gang member problem yeah it's incredible yeah it really is When you look back on the gang, is there anything you miss? Like, oh, that was, you know, really nice. I don't know that there's a miss. Like, dude, I'm a new creation in a way that I can't explain. I'm not a good guy getting better. Like, the Lord has radically transformed me. But I have the ability to look and see things in a way that's insane.

They understand discipleship way better than the American church. You're going to be grabbed by a man, and he's going to apprentice you, and you're going to do life together. And he was going to make you into the image of the person he followed. Come follow me as I follow whatever his name is. Man, they get it. And so it actually doesn't make me miss the club, but breaks my heart for the American church. It's something I just am so desperate to be a part of, but don't even know where to begin. How do we shift the atmosphere of discipleship and become so much more intentional? I was just talking this morning to some young leaders who I built into, and I was talking about this discipleship thing. Man, American believers do not understand discipleship at all. Like, not at all. We think discipleship is, I'm going to give you knowledge that you don't know. I'm going to love you like you haven't been loved. I'm going to spend time with you. We're going to hang out. All that stuff could be good. Discipleship, let's just go, what did Jesus do when he discipled somebody? They did ministry. They did what he was doing. And if you didn't want to do what he was doing, he didn't disciple you. He was with Peter, James, John. They were going places. They were having to feed 5,000 people. They were having to figure things out and go two-by-twos. They were doing stuff. Disciple somebody, you're not doing anything. You're just meeting for a Bible study and helping someone understand John 3 or something. Helping somebody understand spiritual strongholds. Great, I'm fine to understand spiritual strongholds and that stuff, but that's not discipleship. Actually, what you're talking about with the Iron Maidens. I was going to say Iron Angels. No, it's Hell's Angels. Iron sharp as iron, so that's the Bible. It's unbiblical discipleship, but that is discipleship. We're going to take you under my wing and we're going to do these things.

You missed that, that apprenticeship, that we're linked together thing. There's two things. I definitely think immersion, apprenticeship, and teaching are all super important to discipleship. All three make the whole. I need you to immerse. I said immersion? Immersion, apprenticeship, and teaching. Okay. All three of those things combined make up the vehicle of discipleship. The other part of it is we kind of shift discipleship into pizza parties, and feel-good messages that keep a guy in the seat. I'm always taken back. I don't want to be legalistic, man. I need God to just continue to break me, but he reveals things to me that we've become the church of the rich young ruler. As long as we can make it comfortable enough to say, you don't have to let go of those things. Do I want a space for people who are on the edge, who are thinking, I don't want to get in the way of their breakthrough. I think there's a huge difference in Peter as a disciple making mistakes, because he's just a man who desperately needs the power of God. Then a rich young ruler who says, no, not unless I can bring this. You had, because of your church background, you had a basic understanding of biblical structure in Jesus, or not at all? No. No, no, not at all? No. The only thing I knew about the Bible is what I was forced to copy over and over and over. We would have to just sit down and copy the Bible until dad said to stop. What happened is I come to Christ under Craig's wing. Yeah. Good dude.

I shut my mouth is what I did. Man, I wanted to fight with Rebecca because she was so wrong, and I was now so right, but I also didn't want to become what she just said that she didn't want me to become. So I started calling Craig instead. Here's where the disciple comes into play, because we want to cry that there's not discipleship being offered, but not too many people really want to be disciples. Right, right. I would call him and say, Craig, I don't know what to do, man. Here's what's going on. And by all means, in the world, it seemed like I was right. He would say things like, I hear you, man. But what I'd like for you to try, I just want you just go tell her you love her and she's right. Because, you know, she was right. Every promise I had made to her, it all failed. Even saying I loved her without the power of Christ, you can't love. And I was just a clanging cymbal. Right. She was tired of it. And so I come and I say, you're right, I love you, man. Things shifted. So I would come to Craig and say, hey, things are going great. And he would show me why that doesn't matter. That only what the word of God has to say is what matters. What Christ is doing in my life is important. I would take go to him when times are tough and he would take me to the word of God and show me why it doesn't matter. Not that my personal struggles or excitements didn't matter to him, but why only the truth is what matters. Jesus and all of it in the desert and in the rainforest.

Yeah, that's strong. That's really powerful. I thought that because you're speaking with a level of maturity now, you have your spiritual mature person. I was thinking that you had the some knowledge and biblical framework that you didn't believe in, but it was there. And then it just kind of got uncovered and got personal for you. But no, not at all. This is this is all like brand new relative believer, Tyler. This is Christ in me. I mean, three years. Yeah. And I'm dedicated to, you know, make time for him. What makes it what's the difference with someone like you who's three years in it and is speaking like whatever spiritually respected seasoned person you can think of is? I mean, you're you're you're not you could go to you could go to mechanic school for three years and not be speaking like a master mechanic. You could you know, you could play football for three years and not be able to hold down a job in the NFL as a coach. Right. But you got some real, real seasoning and depth to you. What do you don't know? This is the one time the answer is not Jesus. The answer is not Jesus. That's always the answer. Yeah. What is brown and has a bushy tail? Jesus. And none of the world says this is not Jesus. But what what do you think puts you in that hyper growth mode relative to the average person who just hasn't settled things in her heart has been going to church forever and ever and ever and ever and ever, but still is unable to connect the spiritual dots that you're connecting or have the level of commitment you have right now?

Why do you think that is? I'm going to say it. Oh, come on, dude. Go ahead. Say it. You know, it's a glorifies name. Just say the name. Say the name Jesus. Fine. Just say it. So really, let me ask you, what did Jesus use inside of you to tap into this? So first, it was my yes and allowing him to have lordship over my life. That's huge. There you go. Is to stop right there. Talk about that. How allowing him to have lordship over you. How is that different from you got baptized or you said you said this? So Jesus isn't calling for a fan club, unfortunately. And pom poms and let's go, Christ, like that stuff's fun, man. I love it. Emotionalism and feeling really good is so much fun. Me dying and choosing to seek his will in every situation, I believe, got me into the word so much that brought me all of this depth. I just went through 40 years of life in the past three years that I needed the truth. Pastor, I had squeezed everything there was out of life and there wasn't any truth in it. So I've only got one book to now seek all of my guidance. And I surround it, man, you, Joby Martin. Yeah, he's been on your podcast. You you did the men's conference. He talks about something so important. Who are my Mac carriers? I got to have Mac carriers. I wasn't looking for guys six, you know, in the same spot as me that are, you know, kind of just doing this. I've grabbed people with and not that it says anything other than you have a good memory. But people with PhDs, you know, doctorates in theology. I grabbed several men and said, hey, will you carry my mat on the times that I need to get to Christ?

And it was daily. What was it? It was, I think for me, what Christ used that got me to this point was. I really had squeezed everything out of life that there was. Christ was allowed to be the last option for me so that he could be the first. and he heard my yes and ran with it. I think that's a good challenge for a lot of us. We would identify as a Christian. We would have a level of confidence that if we get hit by a bus, we're going to heaven. But Jesus doesn't really have our heart. He doesn't really have our life. We're dicking around with him. You did things, you did things in the club just because it's the way it was. And you just do that. I don't meet a lot of believers who are like that. You've got to woo them, cajole them, guarantee it's going to be okay, make sure they understand that you're not a shyster, you're not asking them to do something weird. You've got to, you have to build a perfect case for someone to just do what a basic Bible instruction is. People just haven't settled that. And then we wonder why God feels so distant. Distant, oh, he is. Because you're far away from where he is. He's over here. You're not over there. You're choosing to be someplace else.

Yeah, you're not where God is. Guess what? He's going to feel distant, yes. It's too hard. Right. Following Christ is way too hard. Yeah. If you want to be shaped into the image of a son. Yes. It is the most ridiculous and stupid thing I've ever done in my life. And I mean that in the most beautiful way. Daily, daily something, somehow, even if it's just the smart mouth person at McDonald's that's handing me my Big Mac, I just want to say something right back to them. Yeah. Literally, every moment, Lord, open my mouth when I can see them as you've seen Peter. I thought you were going to say, when we look back on the club experience, what you missed, the discipleship, that form of discipleship makes sense. I thought you were going to say some of the communal connection you had with some of the brothers. No. No, you had no communal connection with them. I mean, we had community, but we're not having Thanksgiving, Friendsgiving, you know. There wasn't an emotional bond there then

with most of those dudes. It was, but different. It was things we could be angry about together, you know. Our kind of, you know, our fixing a bike together or going on a camping trip was more like, hey, we don't like these people need to get, you know, those things would get us excited. There definitely was that element to it. But when I think on the club now, I think about all the people that I loved while I was there and the people I really don't like while I was there. And there was one in particular, everywhere I go, people would say, hey, you look like this guy. And I hated him. I hated him. I hated him then, I don't now. But I hated him early in my walk. And I say early, I'm only, you know, three years in, but the Lord, he's been real clear to me because I listen, I guess, I don't know. But in the Word where it talks about leaving your gift at the altar, if you've got a problem with your brother and going and dealing with it. I thought, man, I wonder if the Lord's heard any of my prayers. So I started asking the Lord, in this man that I don't like, he brings so much to the table that you could use for your kingdom, Lord,

and I don't deserve your grace. Yet, while you were on the cross and I was a sinner, you still died for me. I'm the man that stabbed you in the side. I drove a nail in your hand, but you said, it's finished. Please do the same thing for him, Lord. Bring him over here. Freedom just came. So yeah, there's things that I do think about. Yeah, praying for your enemies isn't just a nice thing to do, it actually brings you freedom. There we go again. We actually do something that Jesus said to do. Nuts. It works for us, but very few people, oh, I can't do that, I can't do that. Why can't you? Yes, you can, yes, you can. I don't want to. Right, you don't want to. You don't want to, or you're not committed enough to, or you don't love God enough to. Like, put one of those things on there, but not just I can't. You say I can't because you refuse to submit yourself to the Lord Jesus Christ. You use that great phraseology that you did before. Here is the confusing thing to me sometimes is, not even so confusing.

I'm not saved by my works, right? But my faith produces works, and now I have this allegiance to the cross. That's what's happened to me. I have an allegiance to Christ and what He's done. Him dying on the cross, it's not even for us or about us. It is for the will of the Father. He desired a relationship with His children and couldn't do it. So I have an allegiance to the cross, to the finished work of the cross, the blood that veils me so that God sees me as perfect. I'm not going to get into heaven based on my good behavior. That blood is what does it. But as Paul says, does that mean that we should continue to sin? By no means. He also says, if you know you're ought to do something and don't do it, then it'd be considered sin. So I'm continuously choosing sin when I say, no, I'm not going to do that. It was just made clear to me. All I did, Pastor, was read the Bible. Brian, by the way. Brian, okay. I don't call you a steel magnet man. Okay. Iron man. I don't call you iron man. Iron man. I am iron man. Come on, let's go. That should have been a good jingle for your club. Was that the jingle?

No. No? Gosh. I could add some real value here, Dirt. Get our creativity. We'll take the Iron Maidens, the next Iron Horseman, the next level. Yeah. Were you expecting me to wear like assless chaps? No, I was wanting you to wear assless chaps. Actually, now seeing what you're packing, I would have loved to have seen those beefcakes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I would have loved to have seen those beefcakes. That's amazing. Praise God. Assless chaps, the leather bass did like the pie hat. I thought you were saying, what's going on here? Right. Exactly. Oh my gosh.

That's really good. I love that. So we could still have fun, right? Yeah. Yeah. 100% we can and we are. But I, yeah, it's just really, you're, you're a really good person. I love you. You're a great person. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You're, you're beyond where someone would think someone would be beyond, but it just, as you said, you, you, you've decided to pick up your cross, which is about laying down your life. I also find it fascinating. We're getting into more, uh, theology here than we have with people who are pastors. Maybe it's because pastors, we talk about this stuff all the time. Maybe we do, maybe we don't, but like, it's really fresh like, you're, you're, you're into talking theology. You're into talking the stuff that's this stuff in the Bible.

It's important. Three years. It's great. How am I to be assured that this isn't a flash in a pan, that you're just, you're on a run for three years and then you're, you're, you're going to backslide and going back to the way it was before. Cause I'm in, I'm in the desert right now. Are you really? Yeah. Interesting. I, when you said that, oh, I was weeping. It's been a long time. I'm not pursuing emotions. Tell our listeners who I preached to this last weekend, just, I'd like to hear your recap of what the desert is. So the desert is those, those dry and arid moments where maybe you don't feel the presence of God, but man, I'm telling you he's there. And then the rain forest, I'm saturated. I mean, things are just wonderful. And they can be kind of, you can be, as you mentioned, I can be in the desert and think everything's great. I've experienced that. That might be where I'm at now. And I can be saturated. Just the presence of God is clear and I'm kind of removed from it. Just broken still. But man, I, I'm now in a, in a dry and kind of arid land where I'm working more than I want to. I'm dying to see my kids, man. I miss them.

And it's, it's clear that there is some behavioral changes in our home that are happening cause daddy's not there as much. I don't have quite the time. I asked for a guy to pray with me on the way in. I still call my Mack carriers all the time. And I'm like, Hey man, I'm in a dry and arid season. I don't have that quite the time that I'd love to have in prayer with the Lord. The time to read and make my devotion to him. I miss having a little bit more free time, you know, to just be with the Lord and with my family. And I'm on the road a lot. I've got jobs in Indianapolis and Nashville and kind of all over and I'm acting CEO, COO. I do all of it. I am the payroll lady and the HR lady and that, you know, I do all of the maintenance and everything. I mean, I need help, but it's dry man. But the Lord is very clearly in it. He's bringing about situations where he's like, Hey, I know this isn't what you're used to. We've stepped into the desert, but I've got work for you here. I'm meeting with another business owner in Indianapolis, fabricator, and I shared my story with him. I don't care. You don't have to like it. I'm going to share it with you. And it wrecked him. He goes, him and his wife had been having some issues. The next morning he wakes her up at six and he just spends time with her and talks to her. And he's like, hey, can we start a men's Bible study

in my shop? And I'm like, yeah, yeah, let's start in January, man. Once a month, we'll do it and we'll get somebody else to talk or teach something, but it's not about me. Let's understand Christ, so yeah. That season of concern, that flash in the pan, man, I've been through a couple. Yeah. And what I've realized is that how I feel about a situation doesn't really matter. I still do the thing, doing the stuff, right? I'm still doing the stuff. I think that might be the one thing is how I feel about the situation has to be removed. I've got to do it anyway. I've got to get back to the basics and allowing the Lord to be Lord over my life. Okay, things suck right now, Lord. Well, I know you suffered a little bit compared to this, but I think I'll agree to suffer so that my family can prosper, that your name can be shared on my job sites and with my men. I've got men that drive two hours to come to my church because they want to be with me because they think that I'm doing something special or there's something great about me. They don't realize it's Christ in me. He's available in Indianapolis, you know? Praise God.

Amen. Don, is there anything we haven't talked about that you want to talk about as we wind ourselves down here? I have no idea, to be honest with you. Do you have three or four more hours? We could just go on forever, man. I know we could, because you're a deep man and a deep brother. Do you have, I don't know, do you have any social media presence, time to give advertisements yourself or for your business if someone wants to buy some steel or anything like that, just tell people how they reach out. Yeah, so you can visit our website, steelinstallation.com. What a domain, check it out. It is good. My social media, I simply just have Facebook. I've got maybe one, I've actually got two posts. One's about my wife and one's about Revival. If you want, we could talk about Revival for just a second. Yeah, second, yeah, we can, yeah. Revival, in case you're here, it was sort of a man camp meets woman camp meets couples camp, except you don't have to camp out. You can come and go as you want. We had tens of, do we get a third actual, I don't know what it was, 16,000 people or something over the course of it or something like that. And just had a big tent and overflow stuff.

And we had worship in the woods all night long, a new worship leader every night under the lights in the woods and a prayer experience and bouncy things and all that stuff. So that was what happened. So go ahead, yeah, what happened with you, for you? Yeah, so didn't get invited. You didn't have anybody who liked you enough to invite you? No, no one cared. No, no one cares. They don't even love me. No, no, they don't even think about you. No, they don't want to do life with you. No, they don't want to disciple you. No, they don't want to bless you. No, no, no. Looking at Chrissy Courts in here who was our relational link and he just is a horrible friend, obviously. Thank God for Chrissy, great man you've got. What an incredible guy. I'm scrolling through Facebook on Marketplace because my mind thinks I need to buy something. And then I hear this Brian Tome guy talking about some things need refreshed. And I'm looking at this and I'm like, man, it sure looks like just a big party, you know? And I'm like, screw it, we're going. I told my wife, hey, we're going to this. We're going to get a babysitter for the kids

and we're just going to go have fun for the night. I thought it was just going to be a fun time. Man, I get there, Dante Bo, he's on stage. It's a moment of silence, it was Saturday. Moment of silence, it's just quiet. Keyboard's playing. I sit down. So Austin Living, good friend of mine, we grew up, we went to school together. Good living. I say hello to him and Chris, get my chair out, sit down. And the presence of God just punched me in the mouth. It's quiet. There's children laughing. There's organ and I can hear people calling out to the Lord. And I am just wrecked. I've only been there five minutes and I'm just absolutely wrecked. And then, so after being a whining mess all night, I go to worship in the woods. That'll get you, huh? Well, I'm about done. You know, I'm an old man to me. I mean, I'm 34 years old and it's full of kids and they're hammering down. They're having a blast. I am too, to a certain degree, but I'm ready for bed. Kid's like 20 year olds, not like 12 year olds. Yeah, it's midnight, yeah, right, yeah.

So I'm laying down, I've got my hat on my head and I sit up and man, I got, something got revived in me in that moment. I look at my wife who has her hands in the air and her eyes closed and just a little tear running down her face. And I got wrecked again. Because the Lord reminded me that what I had allowed to become mundane and usual was absolutely just an incredible miracle. And it took me back to one of my favorite things is like, how big does the miracle have to be for Christ to be who he says he is? And when am I gonna start acting like it? And man, it just opened me right back up to how good he has been to us. Like I told you, I've been in a dry season. He's sending his word to me. Awesome. Pray for you right now. God, thanks for Tyler. Thank you for his vulnerability, his maturity, his openness, his wisdom. It's been a great time and I thank you and I ask you put a unique grace and blessing on him and times of refreshment because he's worthy of it. In your name I pray, Jesus. Amen. Amen. All right, we don't do that every time

on The Aggressive Life, but it seems right. It's a deep podcast here today. And hey, you need to go, you need to do something. It's The Aggressive Life, not the interesting life of a motorcycle gang member. It's called The Aggressive Life. Maybe you need to like actually make that decision. Hmm, I'm gonna give my life to Jesus. Maybe it's, I'm gonna stop dicking around that he's gonna be my Lord. Maybe it's, I need to have a Bible reading plan. I need to have a prayer thing. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's, maybe it's I need to go watch Sons of Anarchy. I don't know what it is. Did you watch that by the way? No. No, no, no. I had to stop watching. It was way too dark and all that stuff. But whatever it is, get out there, do it. We'll see you next time on The Aggressive Life. Thanks for joining us on this journey toward aggressive living. Find more resources, articles, past episodes, and more at bryantome.com. My new book, a 60 day devotional called The Five Marks for Man, 60 Days to a Powerful Life,

along with all the other books in the Five Marks Library are open right now on Amazon. Be sure to leave us a rating and review wherever you listen to your podcasts. Then send an email to DIRT, that's DIRT, at bryantome.com to get a free Aggressive Life sticker. Find more on Instagram at bryantome. The Aggressive Life is a production of Crossroads Church, Cincinnati, Ohio. The Aggressive Life is a production of Crossroads Church, Cincinnati, Ohio.