Friendship starts with taking initiative | A Good Friend | Full Experience

Well, hello. Hello, church. I want to invite you to your feet right now. It is a good day to worship the Lord together. I want you to know wherever you are in this room, wherever you are, where you may be watching this, you're here with us together in this moment. My name is Jordan. This is Donna. This is Andre. We want to help lead you in this moment, but our names aren't the important one. The most important name today is the name of Jesus. And I want us to get ready to lift that name high above every other name. So can we just worship the Lord together? Come on, let's do it. Sing this with me. This is the day you make, so I'll rejoice and be glad, rejoice and be glad in it. And this is where I believe that you are more than enough, more than enough for me. You are faithful to your promise. You are strong when I am weak. And when I'm standing in your presence, I have everything I need. The joy of the Lord, the joy of the Lord is my strength. The joy of the Lord, the joy of the Lord is my strength. Oh, my soul, bless his name. All that is within me say, the joy of the Lord, the joy of the Lord is my strength. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, Jesus, come one day. You are worthy of all, worthy of all my praise. You are faithful to your promise. You are strong when I am weak. And when I'm standing in your presence, I have everything I need.

The joy of the Lord, the joy of the Lord is my strength. The joy of the Lord, the joy of the Lord is my strength. Oh, my soul, bless his name. All that is within me say, the joy of the Lord, the joy of the Lord is my strength. It's my strength. It's the joy of the Lord. Oh, oh, oh. So let it rise up like a river, overflowing Holy Spirit. And let it pour out with no limit, overflowing Holy Spirit. So let it rise up like a river, overflowing Holy Spirit. And let it pour out with no limit, overflowing Holy Spirit. Sing the joy, the joy of the Lord, the joy of the Lord is my strength. The joy of the Lord, the joy of the Lord is my strength. Oh, my soul, bless his name. All that is within me say. Oh, my soul, bless his name. All that is within me say. Oh, my soul, bless his name. All that is within me say. The joy of the Lord, the joy of the Lord is my strength. Father, you've done what you said you would. Carried me through like I knew you could. You have been faithful, so, so good. I know you've heard every prayer I've prayed. My faith may have wavered, you stayed the same. You have been faithful, so, so good. God, I will trust in your name forever. My provider, my defender. Here in your presence, I'm resting assured. You've been nothing but faithful, nothing but good.

I know the days ahead are long. Troubles and trials yet to come. But you will be faithful, you're just that good. We know, we know He is. God, I will trust in your name forever. My provider, my defender. Here in your presence, I'm resting assured. You've been nothing but faithful, nothing but good. You've been nothing but faithful, nothing but good. So good, so good, so good. I lift my hands, holy surrender. Hallelujah. I lift my hands, holy surrender. Hallelujah. I lift my hands, holy surrender. Hallelujah. I lift my hands, holy surrender. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. We surrender. Hallelujah. God, I will trust in your name forever. My provider, my defender. Here in your presence, I'm resting assured. You've been nothing but faithful, nothing but good. You've been nothing but faithful, nothing but good. You've been nothing but faithful, nothing but good. So good, so good. ♪♪ ♪ Worthy of every song we could ever sing ♪

♪ Worthy of all the praise we could ever bring ♪ ♪ Worthy of every breath we could ever breathe ♪ ♪ We live for you ♪ Come on church, let's lift our voices, sing holy. ♪ Holy, there is no one like you ♪ ♪ There is none beside you ♪ ♪ Open up my eyes and wonder ♪ ♪ Show me who you are and fill me with your heart ♪ ♪ And lead me in your love to those around me ♪ Sing Jesus. ♪ Jesus, the name above every other name ♪ ♪ Jesus, the only one who could ever save, yeah ♪ ♪ You're worthy of every breath we could ever breathe ♪ ♪ We live for you, oh we live for you ♪ ♪ Holy, there is no one like you ♪ ♪ There is none beside you ♪ ♪ Open up my eyes and wonder ♪ ♪ Show me who you are and fill me with your heart ♪ ♪ And lead me in your love to those around me ♪ ♪ Lead me in your love, oh God ♪ ♪ You're a firm foundation ♪ Come on church, let's sing this. ♪ I will build my life upon your love ♪ ♪ It is a firm foundation ♪ ♪ I will put my trust in you alone ♪ ♪ And I will not be shaken ♪ ♪ I will build my life upon your love ♪ ♪ It is a firm foundation ♪ ♪ I will put my trust in you alone ♪ ♪ And I will not be shaken ♪

♪ Holy, there is no one like you ♪ ♪ There is none beside you ♪ ♪ Open up my eyes and wonder ♪ ♪ Show me who you are and fill me with your heart ♪ ♪ And lead me in your love to those around me ♪ Lord, we're so thankful for your love. A love that didn't require of us more than you already led us in doing. I think of the day that you took up the cross and how you took our sin and our shame upon your shoulders. And what you did that day was eternal. It was final. And so as we gather here in this moment and lift up your name, as we get ready to take communion together, Lord, we remember that sacrifice and we worship you because you're worthy of our praise in every circumstance. We love you, God. You're good to us. And it's in the powerful and precious name of Jesus that we pray, amen. Thank you for worshiping with us. You may be seated and let's take communion together. ♪♪♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

Well, if I haven't met you, my name is James and I serve as one of the pastors here. And hopefully you had an amazing Thanksgiving, but it's Christmas now. You know, whether you have set up your Christmas tree in the fall or you did it yesterday, you're still anticipating decorating your home and getting all Christmas out. What I love about Christmas is it gets us all in the motion, no matter where we are. It's familiar, it's exciting, and it's one of the most meaningful times of the year. And we wanted to invite you to Christmas at CCV. That's right, we're going to be kicking off Christmas services December 20th all the way up until the 24th, Christmas Eve, across all of our campuses. And we're going to have 14 services alone here at the Peoria campus. And whether you're an adult or a child, this experience is for the entire family. So bring your entire family, all that you know. If you would like more information on Christmas services and what we're doing, times, locations, you can reference the CCV mobile app, which is absolutely free to download. We're going to have some QR codes out in the lobby as you leave. There's also some chairs around you. And if you're looking for a face-to-face conversation to help answer any questions, I want to encourage you to stop by our Next Step Center. We have pastors and coaches that will get you all the answers to your questions. But here's the thing about this time of the year that I really love. It's people now are more willing to come to church. And they're more willing to receive an invitation to come to church during this time of year. For many reasons. For some, it's tradition. For some, just putting together Christmas in church is a fun idea, and they love it. And for others, they're looking for a church home. They're seeking hope and peace and a relationship with Jesus. And all it takes is a simple invite. Maybe we've never modeled this. This is all it has to be, is simply taking one of these cards, going up to the person that you plan on inviting and simply saying this,

Hey, I don't know your plans this holiday season, but we would love for you and your family to join us for Christmas at CCV. That's all it is. It's no pressure, no preaching, just an invitation. I like to call these seeds. Dave Stone, in a sermon he did a while back, he said something that I'll never forget. He said, It's our job to plant the seed and God does the miracle. And you never know how much a simple invite can change just a trajectory in someone's life and their relationship with Jesus. After all, this is a part of my story. And if you're tuning in online, we also have some of these for you. We have a digital option for you to be able to do the exact same thing. We have plenty of these in the lobby on your way out. Grab as many as you like. We hope to see you, your family, friends and all that you invite to Christmas at CCV. It's going to be a great time. Well, Mark Moore has the message today, so go ahead and take out your notes to the CCV mobile app to follow along as we kick off a brand new series and something that he is, to me, titled A Good Friend. In times of celebration, when the good keeps getting better, how you got there, what you've done, and what you aim to do, in the silence of understanding what's at stake, who you've been, and who you're trying to become, when they answer the call, when they show up,

when they stay by your side. side. In the laughter that breaks the tension. From the dawn of our youth. To the eve of our years. There's always a need to find. And to be. A good friend. Well, hey, friends. We're so glad you're here at CCV. And I want to remind you of something happened last week. Maybe you weren't here last week, so this will be new to you. We are in a campaign called One Day to Feed the World. It's very exciting because we know that God prioritizes the poor. And across the world, hunger is a pandemic. And as a church, we probably can't make a dent in that. But we partnered with an organization we believe can. Convoy of Hope prioritizes the poor by feeding them. But it's not just for them a hand out. It's also a hand up. Part of the strategy is to give food to those who are food insecure. And then give training, particularly to women in third world countries. Because if you can give a woman a job, a vocation, she can feed her whole family. The third prong of their approach is to go to the farmers of each of these regions and train them how to use science and technology to produce more crops. They get bigger crops, more food, and then it can be sold at a lower price. So it's a win-win-win for all. We believe in them and we have joined in them in this called One Day to Feed the World. Now, don't misunderstand. We are not feeding the whole world for one day. Here's where the one day comes into play. If you look at your salary, your annual salary, and maybe go to your tax returns from last year if you forgot, divide that by 365. Would you be willing to give one day of your salary to feed the world? There has been an overwhelming response to this. You want to know how much we've raised so far? Not a chance. You've got to come back next week. Ashley's going to announce the total number and it is going to be something that your friends and family, even if they're not believers, can be proud of. So that catches us up to this week. Now, this week, we're starting the series A Good Friend. Honestly, when I looked at the series, I thought, preaching on friendship, really? Is that really theological? Actually, it is. We recognize marriage as an invention of God. It was a really good idea. It was good for families. It was good for society. God, likewise, invented friendships. We haven't talked about friendships for a long time. It is so important to us. I want to give you the initial sermon on friends, and particularly taking initiative. Let's start with a fun pop culture quiz. What are the top four most popular sitcoms of all time? The way they measure this is the percentage

of America that tuned in for the final episode. Do you know what the number one is, the top most popular sitcom of all time is? I'll give you a clue because some of you already guessed out loud and you were wrong. It was set in the Korean War. If you know it, say it out loud. Mash. That was my dad's show. He loved it, and he got me kind of hooked into it too. But it wasn't really about the Korean War. Coming in at number two, this one was set not in the Korean War but in a bar in Boston. It is Cheers, where everybody knows your name and everybody's glad that you came. Coming in at number three, it's a show about nothing. Seinfeld, which is interesting because it's also a show about everything. There is nothing in your life that happens that they did not do an episode about. I got my son addicted to Seinfeld. That's not a confession. I'm bragging right now. I also bought him the complete set of every episode of Seinfeld on DVD. Now for you Generation Alpha out there, a DVD is kind of like a miniature record. Wait, that doesn't help either. Coming in at number four, this was my daughter's show. She was a fan of Friends. What do all four of these have in common? It's not about the Korean War. It's about Friends. It's not about nothing, it's about, it's not about a bar in Boston, it's about, and Friends is about, well, friends. So let's talk about Friends. What does it take to be the friend that you need? Well, my wife and I moved here in 2012. We had spent the last 22 years in the same small town, Joplin, Missouri, small town, tight community. I was teaching at a small Bible college, very tight community, I had really good friends. And I thought when I moved away that I would be missed. I was wrong. You know how many people called me in the first two years of me being here, just to check up how things going, how many of my old friends called me?

Zero. I called over a dozen of them to ask how they were doing. Now look, I get it, out of sight, out of mind. I was the one that moved, but I thought we were better friends than that. And I've actually been critical at times of, you know, why didn't they call? What's wrong with those people? But then I had to look in the mirror and confess a simple truth, and I wonder if you might need to confess this as well. And this is the entire sermon in a single sentence. The quality of friends that you have reveals the kind of friend that you are. That was a tough realization for me. So we're gonna talk about friendships. Let's begin with a simple, I don't know, we'll call it a pop quiz, a post-Thanksgiving pop quiz. I know that's not fair because you're still loaded on tryptophan from the turkey, but try to think along with me. Here are, here's some observations about friendship in America, and I'll just tell you this. It is on a serious decline. Serious enough that sociologists and psychologists are very concerned about the state of friendship in America. Let's see how much you know. In 1990, the average American adult reported having six friends. 1990, that is the crossover between Cheers and Seinfeld.

How many friends do people report having today? The answer is three. The average American adult has three friends today. Now, just so we're clear, I wanna help you evaluate how many friends you have. We're not talking about acquaintances. We're not talking about that little number of likes on Facebook. Here's what counts as a true close friend. Number one, and you have to have all three, you eat together, not at restaurants, in your homes. Number two, if someone in your family gets sick, let's say you have a child that you need to take to the hospital, who do you call to come watch your other children? Or let's say you don't have children, you got a dog and you're going on vacation. Who can you ask to watch your dog? I wouldn't ask what you would do with a cat because we'd all just call Ashley. That's what counts as a true friend. How many true friends do you have? Here's question number two. What percentage of Americans say they have no close friends at all? 2%, 8%, 12, or 25%? It is 12% of Americans. What is stunning about that to me is that in 1990, again, the crossover between Seinfeld and Cheers, in 1990, it was only 3% of Americans reported that.

We have had a 400% increase in friendless adults in the last 35 years. And I'm not a prophet, but I'm gonna make a prediction. That number is going to be another 400% within 10 to 15 years. With the advent of AI, people are gonna be looking for artificial friends, not real friends. Number three, according to the Pew Research study, where is the most commonplace adults in the USA they made their closest friend? The answer is school. Here's the problem. Most of you aren't in school. And what happens in a mobile society is that the friends you made in school, particularly high school, you don't stay connected with them over the longevity of your life, not normally. So how do you find new friends if you don't have the access of the number one place people found their closest friends? I would say the number two place is not work. Again, too mobile and too much stress. It will probably be church. that in a moment. Number four, what is the most important action you can take to make a new friend according to psychologists? I bet you get this one right. Wait for them to reach out, take the initiative to invite them, share a secret or buy them a gift. It is to take the initiative. That is the most important thing you can do to get a new friend. The problem with most of us though is we're not that proactive with our friendships. We

get so busy, we get so distracted that it's hard for us to take the initiative. So I'm going to make a simple suggestion. I apologize, this is going to sound churchy, it's predictable, but look to what Jesus did. I'm not just saying that as a preacher. I'm saying as a historian, if you look at how Jesus gathered his 12 apostles, he took initiative, get this, with seven out of the 12. Now he may have taken initiative with all 12, but we have a record. This is a 2,000 year old historical record. We have a record of him taking initiative with seven of the 12 apostles at a time when rabbis didn't do that. A rabbi of Jesus' day didn't go gather disciples. He waited for them to come to him. He waited for them to come and say, would you take me rabbi? I want to walk in your steps. I want to be like you. I'm going to follow you around and learn from you. And if they passed his bar, if they were good enough, smart enough, loyal enough, then he would let them come in. Jesus didn't do that. He didn't wait for the elite to come to him. He went to the hoi polloi, blue workers, common people, and invited them in. I want to show you the very first time that happened. As Jesus walked beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon, and you know Simon's other name? Peter. Simon, Peter, the big one. He's a major apostle. Simon and his brother, Andrew, casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. Fishermen were not highly respected. They're just common folk. Come, follow me, Jesus said, and I will send you out to fish for people. For Peter and his brother, Andrew, to walk away from their fishing nets, they are sacrificing their occupation to follow Jesus. That is a big ask. They were also in business with James and John. So, Jesus goes a little further up the shore of the Lake of Galilee, and when he had gone a little further, he saw James, son of Zebedee, and his brother, John, in a boat, preparing their nets. Without delay, he called them, and they left their father, Zebedee, in the boat with the hired men and followed him. They didn't just leave the boats. They left their father, which is a way bigger deal for ancient Jews than for modern Americans. Family was everything, and I suppose that their dad could get some kind of honor from their boys following a famous rabbi. The problem was, at the time, Jesus was not a famous rabbi. In fact, he stirred up more trouble than he had a follow. Jesus was a gut punch for their father, Zebedee. They had to leave their occupation and their family, but the biggest sacrifice, honestly, was not Peter, Andrew, James, or John. It was another guy on the same dock, same location, same place. He was not a fisherman. He was a tax collector. As Jesus is walking along—again, I don't know if this was two weeks or a month later,

but it says in Mark chapter 2, as he walked along, he saw Levi, son of Alphaeus, sitting at a tax collector's booth. "'Follow me,' Jesus told him, and Levi got up and followed him." Now, Mark calls him Levi. Luke calls him Levi, but that wasn't what he called himself. Anyone know the actual name of this guy that he called himself? It's Matthew. Matthew is the guy that wrote the very first gospel in the New Testament. My question is, where did he get the name Matthew? That's a Greek name. It's not a Jewish name. Levi, that's a Jewish name. I mean, it's as kosher as a dill pickle. Levi was one of the twelve tribes, and not just any one of the twelve tribes. It was the tribe that took care of the temple. It was from the tribe of Levi that all the priests came. So, why is Matthew collecting taxes rather than serving in the temple? Something happened that made him disillusioned. Not just disillusioned. You understand, to collect taxes at that—nobody likes a tax collector. but to collect taxes when you're a Jew for a government that supported the Roman imperialists. That was like a Benedict Arnold. They were hated. Why would Levi give up his noble heritage, abandon everything, and work for the enemy? I don't know what happened to Levi, but I think it probably happened to some of you. There are some of you who came right now when you're kind of uncomfortable because you don't like church. You don't hate Jesus, you just don't like church. And you have reasons to not like church. But you came in for Thanksgiving, your family said, hey, come to church with us, and you agreed. Let me just say, we're so glad you're here. And I don't know what happened to you, but I recognize it does. There's no hurt like church hurt. Maybe it was Levi's parents that were just overly zealous, and they were hard on the rules, and they burned him out. Maybe it was a synagogue that was particularly judgmental, and he made one mistake, and they just rejected him. And so he rejected them right back. And maybe that happened to you. I don't know your story. I don't know his story. All I know is a lot of people feel like, man, I'm not opposed to Jesus. I just don't like the church because the church is a place of hurt for me, of pain for me, of guilt and shame. And I don't want any part of it. Matthew, he hated the synagogue. They hated him right back. But he didn't hate Jesus. And I want you to imagine just walking along with Jesus. There you are, and there's Peter, Andrew, James, and John. There's Jesus up front, and you're following along, and Jesus walks by a booth where there's a tax collector. Now, understand that wherever the tax collector booth was located, that tells you what they collected taxes on. So if it's by a bridge, it's a pole tax to cross the

bridge. If it's by the entrance of a city, it was an import-export tax. So what do you think Matthew collected taxes on at a port on the Lake of Galilee? Fish. He was a fisherman tax. Guess who paid tax to Levi at that port? Peter, Andrew, James, and John. And they were none too happy about it either. I can only imagine. Like, I wasn't there, so I can't prove it, but I'm right. I'm sure of it. When Matthew is sitting there at the booth and Peter walks by, Peter's like, he doesn't want to look at him. He doesn't want Matthew to see how many fish he has in his sack, because he's going to have to pay more taxes on it. And the taxes they took were, they were outrageous. They were oppressive. Now, I'm not saying that Matthew cheated anyone, but if he didn't, he's the only tax collector that didn't. This guy was hated, especially by Peter, Andrew, James, and John. And again, you could just see Jesus walking by, and there's Peter, and Andrew, James, and John, and then you're behind, and you're watching this whole thing go down, and Peter's like, I gotta go by, I gotta go by. And Jesus just stops, staring at Matthew. It was uncomfortable for everybody, but Jesus. Matthew is uncomfortable. Peter, Andrew, James, and John is uncomfortable. Peter walks by, and he's like, Jesus, don't do that. Jesus. Jesus. No, not him. Anybody but him. He despised this guy, and he sees the look in Jesus' eye, and he recognized it, because that's the same look that Jesus gave him when he said, you, follow me. He's like, oh man, he's going to ruin the party. Actually, Matthew's the one that threw the party and invited his enemies, Peter, Andrew, James, and John, into his house that very day. What is it going to take for you? I know you're hurt. I'm glad you're here, but please hear this. This is not me calling you. This is Jesus calling you and saying, come, follow me. And as soon as he did, he had to join in an entourage of people that weren't like him and didn't like him. And here's what happens, and this always happens. If you follow Jesus long enough, the two people who aren't like each other and didn't like each other begin to align with each other, not because they like each other, but because they love him. And this is what happens in the church of Jesus Christ. We are the most diverse organization on the planet, economically, ethnically, geographically. We are people that no one would suspect would come together as friends, but we do because he has become our best friend. So here's my question. How are we going to be the friend that we need? And this is what I want to say. How to be the friend you need. If you're going to have a friend like you need,

you need to start by being the friend that you need. That's where all begins. And it began with Levi, who had his name changed to Matthew. Again, I can't prove this, but where did the name Matthew come from? Because it's a Greek name, not a Jewish name. I think the name Matthew, by the way, means disciple. I think Jesus changed his name and gave him a new name, said, you're not that guy anymore. You are Matthew. You are a disciple. And even though Mark called him Levi and Luke called him Levi, he said, I'm done with that. My name is Matthew. And he wasn't the only one that Jesus gave a new name to. Seven of the 12 apostles had a nickname. For example, Peter, that's not his real name. That's his nickname. And it means the rock. That's a great nickname. John had a nickname with his brother. They were called Sons of Thunder because, well, frankly, they had anger management issues. But his new name, John's new name, what he called himself was the apostle whom Jesus loved. There's others that have nicknames. I think Jesus was a nicknamer because that's what friends do. They call you not by what other people call you. They identify you, and they give you a new identity.

And that's where it begins, by taking initiative to be the friend that you need. So how good are you at taking initiative of being a friend? I thought I was good until I started digging in and seeing what it actually takes. Three things of what it actually takes. First, you have to take a risk. Jesus took a risk on Matthew. That's pretty obvious. And it worked out not just, I mean, it wasn't just Jesus that took a risk. Matthew did as well. Once he leaves that tax collection booth, there's no going back because there's a line of loan sharks ready to take his job. But when Jesus took the initiative to take a risk on him, he took an absolute radical risk on Jesus. Who are you willing to take a risk on? The biggest risk of friendships in the Bible actually comes after Jesus. There was a guy named Barnabas. Again, that was his nickname. That's not his real name. His real name is Joseph. His nickname means the son of encouragement. And it started with him giving to the poor, just like we're doing with this initiative one day to feed the world. It started with his giving to the poor. But then another guy came along, and his name was Saul.

You know him as Paul, but in the day, he was Saul of Tarsus, and he was one bad hombre. He was known for killing Christians. But then he goes to Damascus, and he has letters of extradition to capture and kill, execute these Christians for following Jesus. But somehow, along the way, this bright light, that's the rumor, the bright light, he's knocked to the ground, and people are saying that Saul of Tarsus is now preaching Jesus that he killed other people for joining. Three years go by, and finally, Saul returns to Jerusalem. No Christian wants anything to do with him. Would you? I mean, your church has widows that were made widows by him, have orphans that were made orphans by him. Are you gonna welcome him into your church? But Barnabas saw something in him, and he took the risk to escort Paul into the body of believers. I suppose he took a lot of heat for that, but he didn't care. He's willing to take a risk for a friend. That friend became his partner in ministry. In fact, not only did they serve together in the city of Antioch, they took the very first missionary journey ever together, along with John Mark, Barnabas's younger relative. Years go by, and they had, I mean, it was a great trip.

They planted a bunch of churches. They saw a lot of people come to Jesus. Yeah, they did get sick along the way, and yeah, they did get thrown out of cities, and yeah, they did get beaten, and Paul even got stoned with rocks. And Paul comes up to Barnabas a couple years after the tour and says, hey, Barnabas, let's go visit those churches again. And Barnabas says, that's a great idea. Yeah, let's go back, and I'll tell you what, let's get the whole band back together. Let's get John Mark. And Paul goes, no, no. That kid appealed to Barnabas. Apostasized. Barnabas was like, he didn't apostasize. He was young, he left early. Okay, he only made it halfway through the trip, but let's give him a second chance. I'm not giving that boy a second chance. They got so mad at each other that Barnabas didn't just have to take a risk on Paul. This is step number two. He had to speak straight to Paul. And say, Paul, you're out of bounds. You need to show the same grace to John Mark that I showed to you. It was a tough conversation. They were at loggerheads,

and the Apostle Paul and Barnabas, this had to really shake the church. They split company. They couldn't work together. But Barnabas went one way and Paul went the other. It was an amicable separation, but it was a separation nonetheless. Who was right? 100%, 100% Barnabas was right. Paul was wrong. And if you go to the very last book that Paul ever wrote from this dungeon in Rome, he penned these words in the final chapter, send John Mark to me because he's valuable to me. They reconciled because Barnabas had the courage to speak straight. Part of the deficit of friendship in our world right now is nobody's speaking straight face to face. But we're keyboard warriors online. We'll speak our mind when it's anonymous behind a screen. But actually going to a person and having a difficult conversation is essential if you are going to grow your friendships. The third step is you gotta pay the price. There's always a sacrifice for friendships. And I just wanna talk honestly right now. I'm gonna talk to you ladies first. To have a friendship requires time. And if you don't release your husband, if you're married, if you don't release your husband

to spend time with his friends, he will not have the friends he needs to become the husband that you need. You cannot fulfill all his needs. He cannot fulfill all your needs. And honestly, ladies, you don't wanna even try. Offload that to some of the guys. Now listen, if he comes home from a weekend with the boys and he's a worse husband, a neglectful father, make that boy find new friends. But if he comes home from a dinner or a coffee or an event, like he goes on vacation with some guys or goes to a sporting event with some guys and he comes back more self-aware, more kind, more gentle, then you kick that boy out of the house from time to time to be around his friends. You cannot do this on your own. Ladies, same for you. Guys, you have to release your wives and encourage them to make better friends. Friendships are so important that psychologists tell us that for every new friend that you make, up to 10, for every new friend you make, your health increases by 6.6%. That's not your spiritual health. That's not your mental health. That's your physical health. God designed us for community. And when we don't have the community that we need, by God's design, we will suffer the consequences

physically, mentally, and emotionally. Jesus, he defined friendship. The night before he died, John 15, 13, it says this, that greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. Now, you're probably not gonna have to literally lay down your life for a friend like Jesus did, but you're gonna have to sacrifice time and energy and emotions. You're gonna have to sacrifice your ego to have that difficult conversation. Why would you do that? Because we is greater than me. This is so stunning to me. The principle of friendship is this. In five years, you will be the average of your five closest friends. So look around at your friends right now. Is that who you wanna be in five years? If you need new friends to take you to places you can't go on your own, you're gonna have to take the initiative. The wisest man who ever lived said this in his sunset years, Ecclesiastes chapter four, though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. I've had this thought that really kind of overwhelms me. If you look at various periods of history, there are just clusters of great people together, men and women.

It's not like one pops up. They pop up in clusters, like with the dream team in basketball. I mean, that's legendary. They didn't just play basketball, they changed the game. And not just one of them, together. They made it. each other better. Greatness begets greatness. This trilogy, if you go back 2,000 years, is in Plato, Aristotle, and Socrates. Socrates was the mentor for Plato. Plato was the mentor for Aristotle. Aristotle was the mentor for Alexander the Great. Greatness begets greatness. In the founding history of our own country, greatness begets greatness. God is doing a great thing in our midst. I don't know if you've been paying attention, but there is a revival, not just in our church, across the country. There's this sweeping desire for community. And I know of no other organization, other than local church, that from cradle to grave, rich-poor, male-female, every background, every ethnicity, every past, you're welcome here. Because we know that it takes a community to bring out all the best in you. There will be people that you can partner with, that they can do something that you cannot do, and you can do something they cannot do. And the of three of you will be an undeniable force for good. We need CCV to be filled with people who are filled with friendships. One last quiz question. According to psychologists, what is the optimal number of friends for the greatest satisfaction in life? What they tell us is that you will have the greatest satisfaction in life when you have 10 friends. Again, these are 2 a.m. friends. They call up when there's a crisis at your house. You share the load with them in raising your kids. You work together on projects. You play together in your hobbies. You need 10 of those friends. And most Americans right now have three, and it is going down. I ask our adult ministries, what is the average number of people in a group at CCV? We have over a thousand groups. What's the average number? You know what it is? It's 12. Which means if you go to a

group, there's 11 other people. There's one of them, you don't even have to like them. They're serving opportunities where you begin to shoulder together a ministry for the Lord. They're gatherings together. The change to reach this valley for Christ is not going to happen from a stage or a weekend. It's going to happen in circles of friendships where greatness arrives from greatness. Because all of us are following that one man who accepts us where we are, but loves us too much to leave us there. And if that's the foundation of your friendship, can you imagine what would happen to reach this entire valley for Jesus Christ? So here's my challenge. Initiate one friendship in this season. We are right now between the two greatest American holidays, Black Friday and New Year's Eve. And in between there, there are more people lonely. There are more people abandoned. There are more people that feel left behind. And it could just be a single invite from you that initiates a friendship that will take down giants for the good of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Holy Father, I pray that you put on every person's mind right now the face and name of one person that they're willing to initiate and take a risk on. So that there may be another Apostle Paul. There may be another Barnabas. There may be another Luke or Matthew or Peter or John. Lord, raise an army from the circle of friends that we raise right here at our church. We pray this in the name of Jesus. Amen. If you come back next week, you'll hear the number, One Day to Feed the World.